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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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7 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I get the same vibe from Derick.  I just don't think that sex is that high of a priority for him once the honeymoon phase was over.  

I agree! I think Derick was excited for the honeymoon, but he's had a super nonsexual vibe ever since danger America to me. 

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18 minutes ago, Gweilo said:

Aah. We're not animal people so won't be going the dog route and yeah drop cloths work but ultimately I'm going to be sweeping the floor after every meal anyway. I'm going to assume Jill will sweep after that child gets out of the chair. (Wishful thinking?)

Hopefully the photo means that Jill and Derick don't beat their children for making a mess at mealtimes. I suspect the Maxwell family do.

I sweep and mop too. 

I wonder if Jill really enjoys sex or if she thinks that just laying there in the missionary position while derelict does his thing is what its all about. Because I can't see them doing any other positions, or derelict actually making sure she has an orgasm and is satisfied. And if you'll all excuse me, I need to go bleach my brain after that. 

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15 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I can believe Jill is horny, but I just don't see it with Derick. He seems like a cold fish if I have ever seen one lol. I could see Jill giving this "advice" to make it look like she is having sex, and also pointing out what a good wife she is...because if Derick ever did want sex, she would be down! I was in a sexless relationship once (sorry if TMI lol!) and I get the exact same vibe from Derick. I could totally be wrong, but it's just a hunch. I could see him refusing sex on the guise of birth control. 

I can see him refusing just to maintain control. 

But seriously, I now desperately miss the days of cream of crap casserole and cheap wrinkled clothing because neither ever gave me visuals I want to gouge my own eyes out over.

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2 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

I can see him refusing just to maintain control. 

But seriously, I now desperately miss the days of cream of crap casserole and cheap wrinkled clothing because neither ever gave me visuals I want to gouge my own eyes out over.

Me. Too. Please share a recipe with a block of velveeta, tortillas, and cream of crap soup next, Jill! I'm longing for those days now. 

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I think Jill may be more into sex than Derick. She got pregnant so quickly after the wedding and then probably while they were living in Central America, she may not have felt comfortable. But now that she's back in the States I think she is more than willing to be "joyfully available" but I think Derick is not into her. I don't see her getting any more adventurous than the missionary position, but maybe she is willing to leave the lights on sometimes.  Derick seems to be more asexual to me, even though he is married and has fathered two sons.  

OK, I'm going to go get the brain bleach now. 

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30 minutes ago, Temperance said:

JB has used to use "working on #20" as euphemism for sex on 19 K&C.

As well as "Hey, hey, hey".

A million episodes ago (don't know when because I've stopped watching) JB mumbled something about Mullet being "the horn dog".

Anyone else recall this? I just remember thinking about barfing at the time.

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(edited)
17 minutes ago, drafan said:

As well as "Hey, hey, hey".

A million episodes ago (don't know when because I've stopped watching) JB mumbled something about Mullet being "the horn dog".

Anyone else recall this? I just remember thinking about barfing at the time.

Eeeeew! I hate the expression "horn dog." It reminds me a nasty corn dog, lol! I had this creepy dude in college send me a fb message back in the day, talking about how he was a horn dog, trying to cheat on his girlfriend. Eeeeew! Bad memories lol. 

ETA: come to think of it, horn dog looked a lot like Smuggar!

Edited by Christina87
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26 minutes ago, drafan said:

As well as "Hey, hey, hey".

A million episodes ago (don't know when because I've stopped watching) JB mumbled something about Mullet being "the horn dog".

Anyone else recall this? I just remember thinking about barfing at the time.

🤮  

For "godly people" (yeah, right) they sure are fixated on sex.  A thousand barf emojis oughta do it.

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4 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

🤮  

For "godly people" (yeah, right) they sure are fixated on sex.  A thousand barf emojis oughta do it.

Because they're having sex in a Godly way and as God intended, and they want to be an example of Godly sex between husband and wife. Or some shit like that. 

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10 hours ago, lascuba said:

1. I hate every single one of you for making me aware of the Dullards' sex life. I just came here to have a good time and I'm feeling so attacked right now.

2. Now that I have been forced to think about this, I think that--in addition to all the patriarchal bullshit about men's needs being paramount that she's internalized--Jill is just being true to form believes that what works for her and makes her happy is what would work for everyone, and she's playing it off as if these are well-thought decisions and not just how things have developed organically in her marriage. And while I think Jill's unhappy about a lot of things in life, I do believe that she's happy in her marriage...I think that might be the only thing that she's consistently happy with and that has mostly lived up to her adolescent fantasies. Because we all know that missionary "work" and motherhood hasn't lived up to the hype.

I have no problem believing that she *gag* enjoys sex and that they average about 3-4 times a week. And because she likes it and it doesn't feel like she's just doing her job as a good wife--and because she's completely incapable of understanding other beliefs and experiences--she think she has some secret to a good marriage figured out. This is just Jill being a Jill...as a child, she was perfectly happy following all the rules her parents laid down, and honestly believed that if everyone followed the same rules, they would be happy, too. It never dawned on her that other people have different personalities that just can't be happy doing the same things she does.

ding ding ding!

And honestly, I doubt she is very happy. She just doesn't know it. 

Her article was like a 1920 marriage advice column. You know, before women got  jobs and rights and autonomy and what not. 

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(edited)

Seriously Jill! No one wants to make this or eat it ever! 🤮

I know this is from feb but I had to post this, does she seriously think anyone wants to eat that slop? 

872E40C6-06F0-4C47-B2CA-4AAF4CD3C95F.thumb.jpeg.12e14e2d8ebc88ebeb6aa8831986b609.jpeg

Edited by Puffin
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2 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I agree! I think Derick was excited for the honeymoon, but he's had a super nonsexual vibe ever since danger America to me. 

I think Derick has a foot fetish among other kinks. 

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(edited)

One of the books Jill recommends is His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage by Willard F. Harley. Based on the reviews, he spends more time on "affair proofing" and his needs. He tells you to have sex 3-4 times a week. He tells her to make sure you look sexy./beautiful/attractive for your husband. If you don't fulfill your husband's needs, an affair will occur. 

Here are the needs according to gender:

"A Wife’s Top Five Needs
o Affection
o Intimate Conversation
o Honesty and Openness
o Financial Support
o Family Commitment

A Husband’s Top Five Needs
o Sexual Fulfillment
o Recreational Companionship
o Physical Attractiveness
o Domestic Support
o Admiration"

Sound familar? It fits the Duggars worldview too much so JB and Michelle probably read it too. 

Edited by Temperance
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4 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I get the same vibe from Derick.  I just don't think that sex is that high of a priority for him once the honeymoon phase was over.  

Maybe sex would be a high priority for Derick if it was with Becky from the third row. 😉

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If you live to affair proof your marriage, I would suspect there will be an affair. The person doing most of the affair proofing, will most likely be the one to “stray”. In my opinion, of course. 

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7 hours ago, Temperance said:

One of the books Jill recommends is His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage by Willard F. Harley. Based on the reviews, he spends more time on "affair proofing" and his needs. He tells you to have sex 3-4 times a week. He tells her to make sure you look sexy./beautiful/attractive for your husband. If you don't fulfill your husband's needs, an affair will occur. 

Here are the needs according to gender:

"A Wife’s Top Five Needs
o Affection
o Intimate Conversation
o Honesty and Openness
o Financial Support
o Family Commitment

A Husband’s Top Five Needs
o Sexual Fulfillment
o Recreational Companionship
o Physical Attractiveness
o Domestic Support
o Admiration"

Sound familar? It fits the Duggars worldview too much so JB and Michelle probably read it too. 

This is why I don’t buy that Jill loves sex so much she’s gotta shove the kids out of the way and mount DDD the second he enters the house. She’s incredibly insecure. Not that I don’t blame her, she’s been told her whole life the only value she has has being a wife, and breeder and that she must do everything to make sure the husband remains faithful to her. Because those with a penis will cheat, they have desires! They can’t be expected to control themselves! So she follows all the rules, has sex often, sends a billion texts and emojis, makes sure those pesky kids stay out of the way, clings on him every chance she gets. She doesn’t realize one could not throw their husband a god damn parade every time enters the house and still be completely secure in her relationship. 

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13 hours ago, Gweilo said:

Aah. We're not animal people so won't be going the dog route and yeah drop cloths work but ultimately I'm going to be sweeping the floor after every meal anyway. I'm going to assume Jill will sweep after that child gets out of the chair. (Wishful thinking?)

Hopefully the photo means that Jill and Derick don't beat their children for making a mess at mealtimes. I suspect the Maxwell family do.

That's where the huge difference comes in - if any of our floors looked like that immediately after the kids ate it would be fine and I'd place no blame or judgement on myself or anyone else for it, some days they get more on the floor, tray and themselves then they manage to actually eat.  If the floor looks like that hours or (gulp) days after eating and it's obvious there are multiple meals down there; then there's a problem and yes I am judging your housekeeping skills and general cleanliness (bug city!).  Only other time I can see giving a pass is if there's some sort of sickness going through the whole house, it's hard to keep up then and you try but if a good thorough sweeping doesn't get done it's understandable.  It's like Jessa and her diaper mound - if you have a dirty diaper laying there for awhile because you're wrestling the kid into PJ's, grabbing a bottle, consoling the other kid who's crying we get it that's just the Mom multitasking dance.  If you still have that dirty diaper plus ten others laying around for the whole day or longer instead of going into the garbage we have to wonder about your housekeeping skills.

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14 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I can believe Jill is horny, but I just don't see it with Derick. He seems like a cold fish if I have ever seen one lol. I could see Jill giving this "advice" to make it look like she is having sex, and also pointing out what a good wife she is...because if Derick ever did want sex, she would be down! I was in a sexless relationship once (sorry if TMI lol!) and I get the exact same vibe from Derick. I could totally be wrong, but it's just a hunch. I could see him refusing sex on the guise of birth control. 

I agree with this.  It makes me think of those awful kissing pictures they have posted; in those they look like two hard plastic dolls with their faces pressed together.  They never even look warm, let alone hot for each other.

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I don't really fault Jill for reading books on a healthy marriage or for working to keep the spark alive.  I remember doing those things during the child rearing years of my 42 (and counting!) year marriage.  I remember reading about things like the 6 second kiss and making a point of leaving our kids with grandma and spending a weekend alone together once or twice a year.  It is important to keep the relationship strong because kids grow up and when the two of you are left, it's nice to have something in common!   However, the difference is I haven't set myself up as an expert of any kind and I didn't talk about my efforts with anyone besides my husband.  Well, I guess I'm outing myself here, but this is anonymous.  Though the books I read were more secular, it makes sense that Jill would opt for books recommended by her peers.  I think the major yuck factor here is Derick.  He's gross and the idea of pleasing him is about the last thing I want in my head.  

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(edited)
25 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

I’m not buying it. Jill plagiarized this from somewhere.

Has there been any prior evidence of anything resembling this kind of writing ability? This kind of psychological insight (your husband is not your father)? Hell, just the ability to string three sentences in a row? 

This is “yay” woman. Shower curtain terror woman. “Besthubbyevah.” 

Either she’s been slyly faking the role of Fundie bimbo all these years or she stole that shit from somewhere else. 

Footnotes would be foreign to Jill. We’ve seen how she refrains from citing sources many times. The book reecomendations she made, would probably provide most of it word for word.

Edited by ginger90
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17 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

Eww. I have 2 toddlers and my floor never looked like that. 

That's the same floor I have! Need to replace it though as its getting old but it hides the dirt real well. 

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2 hours ago, Suzn said:

I agree with this.  It makes me think of those awful kissing pictures they have posted; in those they look like two hard plastic dolls with their faces pressed together.  They never even look warm, let alone hot for each other.

This.

Those two are still awkward as hell with a basic kiss after five years.  No way do I think they have any kind of hot sexy time.   Neither of them look as though they have any idea of what to do other than awkwardly trying to fit LEGO part one into LEGO part two.  So gross. 

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(edited)
12 hours ago, Temperance said:

One of the books Jill recommends is His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage by Willard F. Harley. Based on the reviews, he spends more time on "affair proofing" and his needs. He tells you to have sex 3-4 times a week. He tells her to make sure you look sexy./beautiful/attractive for your husband. If you don't fulfill your husband's needs, an affair will occur. 

Here are the needs according to gender:

"A Wife’s Top Five Needs
o Affection
o Intimate Conversation
o Honesty and Openness
o Financial Support
o Family Commitment

A Husband’s Top Five Needs
o Sexual Fulfillment
o Recreational Companionship
o Physical Attractiveness
o Domestic Support
o Admiration"

Sound familar? It fits the Duggars worldview too much so JB and Michelle probably read it too. 

I'm really traditional and this freaking aggravates me, for many reasons. 

1. One size doesn't fit all. I prefer to be financially supported by a guy (while I work hard and pull my weight in other ways), but I strongly suspect it has to do with that being the way things were done in my family growing up, and it was done successfully. My parents have been together over 30 years and have had, in my view, an ideal marriage. Plus, I have a similar homebody disposition to my mother. In my generation, I feel like my view is really an anomaly! I really don't know any other friends who give a flip about a guy's earning potential, provided he has a job, because they would never want to be SAHM's anyway. A LOT of my friends value their career, and many of them are the breadwinner! A few even want their husbands to stay home one day. They are just as happy with that lifestyle as I would be as a SAHM! One size does not fit all. 

2. I know women who love sex, and men who are cold fish. 

3. I know women who hate talking about feelings, and men who whine incessantly like a thirteen year old girl. In fact, one of my favorite friends to talk to is a male who is very in touch with his feelings, and gives excellent advice. 

4. I know plenty of men who don't give a flip about "domestic support." I've even had a couple boyfriends say they wouldn't want me to be a housewife, because they just don't care about living in a clean home! Many guys are blind to the mess around them. 

5. Admiration that is faked makes plenty of guys uncomfortable. I think you should genuinely admire your husband, and let him know that, but you shouldn't STRIVE to show him admiration the way Jill does. 

6. "Recreational companionship?" Hahaha plenty of dudes love sitting on the couch watching sports, and don't need constant companions. I know plenty of females, however, who always want someone to go places with. I'd say this is more of a female need, because women are less likely to go out alone. 

6. Besides financial support, all of the things in the women's list are important to the men, too. Even closed off men won't marry a woman if she's not open with them, and they don't have any intimacy in the relationship. Affection? Don't both sexes want that? And family commitment? Plenty of guys out there (that I haven't dated) worry about finding a woman who wants to put her career aside, or at least work reasonable hours, so their kids will have a family oriented mother. I've talked to plenty of guys online who worry that since their careers require so many hours, they'll never find a woman who can take on more of the childcare (rightly or wrongly). I'd say more men than women don't want a family, but those who do are just as worried about finding a woman who is mother material as women are about women who want to be good dads. 

Their world generalizes sooooo much and it's ridiculous!!! This looks like the kind of thing I would have taken seriously at fifteen, which is jill's age, really! Any adult who has dated and had opposite sex (or even same sex!) friends would realize this is silly. While there may be SOME small truths (like men thinking about sex more than women, or women being subconsciously attracted to a provider even if they don't consciously seek one), people like Jill take this as seriously as the Bible, and it would never occur to them that it doesn't apply to 100% of people and 100% of marriages. AND if it doesn't...like if Derick didn't constantly want sex...jill would blame herself, instead of just realizing that people are different. 

Edited by Christina87
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12 hours ago, Temperance said:

One of the books Jill recommends is His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage by Willard F. Harley. Based on the reviews, he spends more time on "affair proofing" and his needs. He tells you to have sex 3-4 times a week. He tells her to make sure you look sexy./beautiful/attractive for your husband. If you don't fulfill your husband's needs, an affair will occur. 

Here are the needs according to gender:

"A Wife’s Top Five Needs
o Affection
o Intimate Conversation
o Honesty and Openness
o Financial Support
o Family Commitment

A Husband’s Top Five Needs
o Sexual Fulfillment
o Recreational Companionship
o Physical Attractiveness
o Domestic Support
o Admiration"

Sound familar? It fits the Duggars worldview too much so JB and Michelle probably read it too. 

To be fair, the book also states that relationships are like bank accounts.  Every act of kindness is a deposit of love and every act of anger/meanness/thoughtlessness is a withdrawal.  The point being that when you are in a normal relationship, the "deposits" and the "withdrawals" should balance or be in the favor of creating a positive balance.  That's not bad advice.  And for some people, it's a way to judge if your boyfriend is a dick or if his moment of dickishness is outweighed by him making you soup when you are sick or holding your hair back when you throw up.  I had to read it for my psychology masters and don't remember much else from it.  

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To me, if a kid pitches that much food onto the floor, then they are full and need to be removed from the table. It is one thing to accidentally drop some food, but this food has obviously been pitched for fun. After the second pitch, I would either remove his plate or him.

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I think she posted this due to her jealousy ( perceived by me and my armchair PhD) of all the pregnancies in her family.   Gotta prove you are fulfilling your wifey duties..... I hate fundamentalist thinking 

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1 minute ago, dariafan said:

I think she posted this due to her jealousy ( perceived by me and my armchair PhD) of all the pregnancies in her family.   Gotta prove you are fulfilling your wifey duties..... I hate fundamentalist thinking 

If that's the case--and it's certainly possible that it's jealousy over babies and/or attention--the best way to get that attention would be to state why she isn't pregnant again.* Have they been trying and she's just not getting pregnant? Are they choosing to wait because of law school? Do they not want more kids? If it's the latter two, are they preventing via NFP (and considering her 3-4 times a week rule, that's unlikely) or using actual birth control? Any of those would garner much kinder responses in addition to getting her the type of attention the Duggar collective craves. Instead, she making herself look as ridiculous as we all know her to be.

*I don't think anyone--even these assholes--have any obligation to disclose that kind of thing. But if you want attention that badly, there are much better ways to get it.

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I'm sure the floor around the high chair was messy when my kids finished eating, maybe not THAT bad, but it was over 20 years ago and I can't remember clearly.  But I just pulled out the broom or mop and carried on.  

Also, food throwing was not encouraged in my house.  

Poor Jill is trying so hard to be "relatable " on social media, but she often comes across as awkward and slightly desperate.  

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When I read Jill's 'Sermon on Sex' I kept thinking about that circa 1950's how to be a good housewife article ...

http://realhonestmom.com/happened-lived-life-according-1955-good-wifes-guide/

Quote

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces, comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first-remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

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It's so fucking obvious that Jill ripped that shit off from somewhere and did not give credit. 

Someone should run her "writing"  through a plagiarism check program. Bet we would find it rather quickly.  

It's some dopey book that she read, took a few notes and hit "post". 

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(edited)
13 minutes ago, jukie said:

When I read Jill's 'Sermon on Sex' I kept thinking about that circa 1950's how to be a good housewife article ...

http://realhonestmom.com/happened-lived-life-according-1955-good-wifes-guide/

I had seen this many years ago as people pointing out how ridiculous it was. Not surprising this group still follows that advice as those were the good old days before divorce, abortion, premarital sex and homosexuality were rampant! They truly believe that this is the key to preventing those atrocities (don’t bother to tell them all those things were happening since the dawn of time, they won’t hear it) Jill and whomever that “sweet friend’s mom” just updated it to include emojis and scented lotion. 

Edited by Trillium
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17 minutes ago, jukie said:

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. 

Okay the whole thing is completely fucking horrifying but this line cracked me up...

If nothing else, it will make life a lot more interesting for that poor wife...

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(edited)
43 minutes ago, Marigold said:

Toddlers are messy eaters.  Just clean it up.  It's not a whole fucking crisis situation that requires online support. 

For someone who has 18 siblings, Jill is certainly surprised about how life is with small children. 

My son was a very neat eater. I made certain of it and so did my mom who baby sat for me. I was a neat eater too. The three of us used to go to a local mall to shop, walk around and have lunch (I worked only part time). I remember one time, this woman with a toddler left her table at the food court covered in food, the floor the same..... I felt bad for the woman who cleans the tables who had to come clean up. Meanwhile our table was spotless, if there were crumbs I always picked them up or a smear of ketchup, I wiped it up. 

Another time, once my son was older, our family went to a local restaurant/pub for an early dinner. There were 2 woman and about 4 kids at a circular booth having  dinner. We were seated nearby where we could see them. When they left the place looked like a tornado hit. Cups over turned, some on the floor, napkins and utensils on the floor, not to mention the food all over the place, as if they had no plates. The poor staff (most of whom were young) looked dejected. 

Just because one is out, doesn't mean you can leave a place a disaster. If you make a mess clean it up. 

Edited by libgirl2
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10 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

Okay the whole thing is completely fucking horrifying but this line cracked me up...

If nothing else, it will make life a lot more interesting for that poor wife...

This is the line that made me gasp! Seriously??? 

Let him talk first-remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

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(edited)
3 hours ago, jukie said:

Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

Mr. Wiser stays out all night his crap is boxed up and in the driveway. 

3 hours ago, jukie said:

Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

I look back sometimes on some of the crap I took from my ex during my first marriage in the early 80s and feel like a wimp. This helps me remember just how much garbage about a woman’s place was still around even then. My ex’s mother was a 50s mom. No wonder he was a sexist jackass.

Edited by Oldernowiser
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1 hour ago, winsomeone said:

To me, if a kid pitches that much food onto the floor, then they are full and need to be removed from the table. It is one thing to accidentally drop some food, but this food has obviously been pitched for fun. After the second pitch, I would either remove his plate or him.

There’s more than one meal’s worth of food on her floor.  There’s a Goldfish snack and a Cheerio along with unidentifiable food stuff.  According to Jill, she does certain chores on certain days (wash dishes on Tuesday), so she may clean her floors in the same way.  There may’ve been 3 days worth of food in that photo.

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(edited)
7 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

Mr. Wiser stays out all night his crap is boxed up and in the driveway. 

I look back sometimes on some of the crap I took from my ex during my first marriage the early 80s and feel like a wimp. This helps me remember just how much garbage about a woman’s place was still around even then. My ex’s mother was a 50s mom. No words he was a sexist jackass.

My first husband stayed out late, sometimes all night. It was hard when my son was born as I worked evenings and my mom would have to stay at my house to watch him. He should have been home by about 6pm but stopped at his dad's house on the way home for a few drinks.

I put up with so much crap, not that I didn't know better but once my son was born, I felt I had to keep it together. I think some of it is age too. 25 years later....  I wouldn't take that crap from my now husband and he doesn't act like an idiot that way. 

Edited by libgirl2
  • Love 9
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35 minutes ago, Trillium said:

I had seen this many years ago as people pointing out how ridiculous it was. Not surprising this group still follows that advice as those were the good old days before divorce, abortion, premarital sex and homosexuality were rampant! They truly believe that this is the key to preventing those atrocities (don’t bother to tell them all those things were happening since the dawn of time, they won’t hear it) Jill and whomever that “sweet friend’s mom” just updated it to include emojis and scented lotion. 

I feel sorry for Jill that doctors do not prescribe "mother's little helpers" anymore.  Over the weekend I saw someone on Twitter posting the ads for these medications from the 60s that appeared in medical journals.  All of them sounded like they could describe Jill's life.  There is also a Facebook page I follow called "Do I Offend" which will post old ads from the 40s-70s from women's magazines.  

  • Love 4
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1 hour ago, jukie said:

When I read Jill's 'Sermon on Sex' I kept thinking about that circa 1950's how to be a good housewife article ...

http://realhonestmom.com/happened-lived-life-according-1955-good-wifes-guide/

The sad thing is, some of Jill's suggestions are MORE ridiculous. Some of the 1950's advice would be okay if both the husband and wife were expected to do it (basically boiling down to not greeting them with negativity right off the bat, and empathizing with them), but Jill's is so much more specific and crazy (make out for six minutes! Put the kids to bed early so you can have sex!). It's crazy when Jill can even make this article look somewhat reasonable!

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