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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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4 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

Jill looks pretty! The dress is cute, appropriate for the season, and appropriate for her age. Way to go Jill!

Derick looks fine, the kids look a little under-dressed to me, but fine.

I would usually disagree about kids being underdressed, but for these particular kids, they are underdressed. 

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2 minutes ago, Kokapetl said:

I would usually disagree about kids being underdressed, but for these particular kids, they are underdressed. 

I hesitated to put that in there, but I went ahead because I think it's true. Given the fact that Jill can virtually never seem to find clothes for them that match or fit, cute little matching short sets are a HUGE step forward (I'm guessing a gift from Grandma Cathy).

It doesn't look like it was a super-formal wedding, but it doesn't look like it was a casual wedding either. Just a slight step up for the kids would have been nice, but the bar is so low for Jill that this is just a huge win for her -- and I have to give her credit.

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(edited)
1 hour ago, cmr2014 said:

I hesitated to put that in there, but I went ahead because I think it's true. Given the fact that Jill can virtually never seem to find clothes for them that match or fit, cute little matching short sets are a HUGE step forward (I'm guessing a gift from Grandma Cathy).

It doesn't look like it was a super-formal wedding, but it doesn't look like it was a casual wedding either. Just a slight step up for the kids would have been nice, but the bar is so low for Jill that this is just a huge win for her -- and I have to give her credit.

For a summer wedding in Arkansas, I think the kids look fine.  Kids their age usually have a lot of fun at weddings, nice play clothes are ok with me.  Of course, unlike the Dillards, most families don’t attend a wedding practically weekly, so, while I can see a young family not  wanting to buy dressy outfits that they’d hardly wear, that doesn’t really apply here. 

My 50 something bipolar bro is going to a family wedding next month in chinos and a polo shirt.  He doesn’t need dressy clothes, and, as his wardrobe consultant (clothes buyer), I’m not getting him stuff he can’t wear often.

Jill’s dress is young and fresh and cute; a best ever for her.

Edited by doodlebug
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28 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

I've actually seen that happen a couple of times. Little boys right in the scrum. .... Of course, the same weddings featured little girls in the bridal-bouquet scrum. I was afraid I might have to call 911 for a scrunched child. .... And I'm not sure what you'd say to a six-year-old who managed to catch either of these things .... ;  ) 

Well my mom was 12 and my aunt was 8 and they were at a cousin's wedding.  Guess what happened my mom caught 1\2 of the bouqet and my aunt caught the other half.  It was a Christmas wedding and the bouquet looked like something that you would put on your mantle.

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I wondered if Jill was in the wedding party, because someone said Derick was.  Neither of them look like they were in the wedding party. I think probably all the groommans wore outfits similiar to Dan (grey suit with a purple bow tie matching the bridesmaids' dresses). 

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1 hour ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

It's a pretty dress, though - I'd actually wear that!

I was about to say, I think hell is freezing over because Jill has now worn two outfits that I think look great and would buy for myself. This is like Bizarro World....

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On June 22, 2018 at 5:56 PM, Vaysh said:

That resume is pretty weird and you can pinpoint almost exactly when he started to lose his mind. The first posts are just normal teenage stuff, then school, then his stay in Nepal which was Jesus-related but he downplays that and focuses on the things his actually did day to day which makes sense professionally. Then it gets a little weird because you'd think an accountant job at Walmart would merit more than two fairly vague lines in such a short resume, but maybe he didn't do much while working there. But then the batshittery truly begins and he starts sounding like a full-blown religious nutjob, which to be fair he is. It looks like 2015 really did a number on his psyche.

It's also interesting that he doesn't mention his reality-tv job at all.

I can't remember when he had the major oral surgery, but I have to wonder if that may have contributed to his mental/psychological nosedive.  As a chronic pain sufferer, I can say with certainty that chronic pain can change brain chemistry, cause major depression/anxiety, interrupt sleep patterns, cause weight loss/gain and other problems too numerous to mention.  I'm betting he was also on some heavy-duty narcotics, which can also cause major problems.  I have no idea if any of that had anything to do with his mental madness, but it's a possibility IMO.

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If in fact Dillweed was in the wedding party, and Jilly Muffin was not, did she run out to the aisle, and dip her "most wonderful husband" for a kiss, like he's done with the situation reversed?

Did the SIL have her baby yet?

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1 hour ago, Temperance said:

I wondered if Jill was in the wedding party, because someone said Derick was.  Neither of them look like they were in the wedding party. I think probably all the groommans wore outfits similiar to Dan (grey suit with a purple bow tie matching the bridesmaids' dresses). 

I think Derick may have been an usher. His bow tie coordinates. 

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19 hours ago, Temperance said:

Many people I know consider the garter ceremony too risque for them and most of the couples I've seen get married have decided to skip even the bouquet toss and certainly the garter toss. 

I wonder if they did the garter ceremony that follows the toss and how Jill reacted to that. These customs are traditional, but are rumored to have creepy origins.  I can understand why people skip them. 

I thought the same- growing up fundie, the garter toss was WAY too risqué, and never done at weddings (obvs no drinking or dancing, either!!). I never saw it done until I was an adult. Even now I feel weird about it, having had the sinfulness of it drummed into me.  

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3 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

I don't think Jill was in the wedding party. 

That’s a nice dress for Jill. We don’t usually see her in something fitted and sleeveless. The bright color suits her, as well as a normal, non-gaping smile. 

1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

If in fact Dillweed was in the wedding party, and Jilly Muffin was not, did she run out to the aisle, and dip her "most wonderful husband" for a kiss, like he's done with the situation reversed?

Haha, would totally expect them to do that! I wonder how that would go over with this crowd. 

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(edited)
40 minutes ago, graefin said:

They just posted a series of videos of them on the lake on their YouTube channel and I have to say, Derick looks the best he ever has. 

But Israel didn’t like it.......and of course they posted it. (The boat belongs to Joe)

 

Edited by ginger90
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1 hour ago, galaxychaser said:

Aaww poor kid is petrified of the water.

I think he may be motion sick. There was an episode in one of the early specials where the kids all got on a small plane -- and all of them were sick. JB made the comment at the time that motion sickness "runs in families." Regardless of the cause, it's sad, but not entirely surprising that it doesn't even occur to Jill to show any empathy for her child.

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3 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

I think he may be motion sick. There was an episode in one of the early specials where the kids all got on a small plane -- and all of them were sick. JB made the comment at the time that motion sickness "runs in families." Regardless of the cause, it's sad, but not entirely surprising that it doesn't even occur to Jill to show any empathy for her child.

I agree, and I also thought he looked over-heated. Jill never puts hats or sunglasses on him, which must be brutal for a fair-skinned kid like Izzy. 

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I was puzzled at first by Cathy speaking of ''these seven'' in her caption. Had forgotten Deena is pregnant.

Don't want to open a can of worms but I have to say I'm weirded out by Cathy referring to them as a group of seven, not six.

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I also like Jill's summer dress however; she needed to wear dress shoes of some sort. She also wore a basically white dress to a wedding. You don't wear white to a wedding unless you're the bride. Her shoes are awful; those Birkenstock-type sandals.....not a dress sandal at all. Yes,, an improvement though. Why is Sam barefoot at a wedding?

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1 hour ago, floridamom said:

I also like Jill's summer dress however; she needed to wear dress shoes of some sort. She also wore a basically white dress to a wedding. You don't wear white to a wedding unless you're the bride. Her shoes are awful; those Birkenstock-type sandals.....not a dress sandal at all. Yes,, an improvement though. Why is Sam barefoot at a wedding?

Is there another photo? In the one I see the picture cuts off at the ankle and I only see a fragment of one strap - not enough to extrapolate to awful or Birkenstocks. and only barely enough to think the  shoes might not entirely match the dress.

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Jill looks really good in that photo, maybe there have been some changes, like that hiking in shorts picture that means she's getting out and having fun more even if it's family fun with the kids.  I've often thought the sometimes pale, listless look on the girls is too much indoor "wimmens" work.  Bare shoulders, a cute well fit dress and a genuine not exhausted or forced smile, maybe things are finally turning around for Jill.  Makes me wonder if either because of complications with Sam that made it biologically improbable or by their own decision to practice birth control (a little less likely) pregnancy has been taken off the table and after a period of adjustment Jill is also finding out how freeing that can  be when you're chasing two little ones around and no longer have to wonder if there's a third on the horizon.

From that picture Izzy looks like he could be heading toward being tall and lean like his Daddy

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4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

How sad for Izzy, two parents within an arm's reach and neither tucked that scared little boy into them to provide comfort. Not only that, Jill held a freaking phone a couple inches from his face to film his fear. 

And Izzy knows there's nobody willing to provide comfort as he sits alone crying. When my kids were scared the first thing was reach out for us. I wouldn't have been able to film them if I wan't to because they would have glommed onto me basically trying to become one.

It's sad that she didn't hold and comfort Izzy and proceeded to film his fear.  The only small point I can give them is that they did go slowly, which was helping him try to get used to the boat.  I've seen assholes who would have intentionally gone fast because, hey the kid has to learn that boats go fast and he'll get over it.  It's like the jerks who throw kids into the deep end to learn to swim.  This used to go on much more years ago.  Hopefully, it's becoming a thing of the past.  Disgusting way to treat another human being.  Jill could have held Izzy and made him feel safe while showing him the sights and explaining why the water goes up and down.  But, then she wouldn't have this nifty film to share.  What a couple of asses!

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I've always given Derick the side-eye about his harsh parenting, ever since when Iz was really small and Derick posted something about needing to discipline and correct Izzy who was being I think "manipulative" or some negative word. And the kid was barely a toddler! Derick's post smacked of ignorance about basic early childhood development and some kind of harsh Old Testament authoritarianism. He must be totally into the belief that his babies are born sinners and he has to punish them for their sins. Jilly seems on the same page. All those videos where they have Izzy on camera and are grilling him with questions, and he's obviously stressed out and it's clear that neither parent is there to offer him comfort. The most he can hope for is that Jill will say "Yay!" if he pleases them. 

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1 hour ago, Jeeves said:

I've always given Derick the side-eye about his harsh parenting, ever since when Iz was really small and Derick posted something about needing to discipline and correct Izzy who was being I think "manipulative" or some negative word. And the kid was barely a toddler! Derick's post smacked of ignorance about basic early childhood development and some kind of harsh Old Testament authoritarianism. He must be totally into the belief that his babies are born sinners and he has to punish them for their sins. Jilly seems on the same page. All those videos where they have Izzy on camera and are grilling him with questions, and he's obviously stressed out and it's clear that neither parent is there to offer him comfort. The most he can hope for is that Jill will say "Yay!" if he pleases them. 

The way Derick acts toward Izzy makes me wonder what kind of treatment he gets at Cathy's house.  He seems to like going there, but she raised Derick and I can see her thinking this kind of video was "cute."  Remember when most of us thought Cathy's home was a safe haven for the little guy?  Not so much for me anymore.

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1 hour ago, Jeeves said:

I've always given Derick the side-eye about his harsh parenting, ever since when Iz was really small and Derick posted something about needing to discipline and correct Izzy who was being I think "manipulative" or some negative word. And the kid was barely a toddler! Derick's post smacked of ignorance about basic early childhood development and some kind of harsh Old Testament authoritarianism. He must be totally into the belief that his babies are born sinners and he has to punish them for their sins. Jilly seems on the same page. All those videos where they have Izzy on camera and are grilling him with questions, and he's obviously stressed out and it's clear that neither parent is there to offer him comfort. The most he can hope for is that Jill will say "Yay!" if he pleases them. 

I honestly think that Derrick is mad that having children changed the dynamic of his marriage and he takes it out on the kids especially Izzy.  He is extremely unhappy with how his life has not gone the way he planned, and he directs his anger at his children.  Jill turned out not to be what he envisioned as the perfect, godly, Christian wife.  Sadly, he is not the first man to do so and won't be the last.  

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6 hours ago, floridamom said:

Why is Sam barefoot at a wedding?

Because he's a baby?

I mean, I realize they make baby shoes, but I don't think it's a huge faux pas for a baby to be shoeless, even at a wedding. 

Also agree that Jill's dress is a huge step up for her.

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On 6/22/2018 at 6:38 PM, louannems said:

Those skinny arms and legs!  And the matronly belly.  I think she looks pregnant.

Seriously, I had my last two kids just 16 months apart, in my 30's, too and I got my flat belly back mostly.  I'm 61 and my abdominal muscles are pretty taunt.  It just takes a few minutes of excersise daily and I always worked full time.  Jill has time!

First thought that popped into my mind!  

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1 hour ago, Jeeves said:

I've always given Derick the side-eye about his harsh parenting, ever since when Iz was really small and Derick posted something about needing to discipline and correct Izzy who was being I think "manipulative" or some negative word. And the kid was barely a toddler! Derick's post smacked of ignorance about basic early childhood development and some kind of harsh Old Testament authoritarianism. He must be totally into the belief that his babies are born sinners and he has to punish them for their sins. Jilly seems on the same page. All those videos where they have Izzy on camera and are grilling him with questions, and he's obviously stressed out and it's clear that neither parent is there to offer him comfort. The most he can hope for is that Jill will say "Yay!" if he pleases them. 

I've seen a couple of videos now where Derick interacts with Israel in what I would term a normal parental way.

In the boat he takes time to answer Israel's questions about the dock and the movements of the waves (I think Jill tends to be in her own world and largely ignores him), and in another video where they are "camping" in their backyard, Derick comforts Israel when he gets smoke in his eyes by rubbing his back and then making a joke to distract him from his discomfort. I was actually really surprised to see such loving interaction from him. 

Notice that Derick was the first to say, on video, that they found out today that Israel doesn't like boating. When Jill asks Israel if he's having fun, as is her penchant, and he responds "no," she's like, "what?!" as if  she wasn't expecting that answer or that reaction isn't allowed. So at least in this area, I have to give Derick points over Jill. 

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@graefin thanks for the update on Derick's interactions with Iz lately. Maybe he is better at parenting now. I would be happy if he is. I admit I have trouble watching all the recent Dillard videos.

I just remember how chilling it was to read his comments about tiny Iz that I referred to above.

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On 6/23/2018 at 7:53 AM, BitterApple said:

Good point, and I never bought that story, personally. Derick is a whacko with a lot of negative qualities, but he's also a guy who grew up with a working mother, attended a normal college and lived in a foreign country for several years. Jill is now wearing bathing suits, tank tops and shorts. I don't see him having hissy fits over co-workers' attire. I think he was missing too much work to film the show and Walmart gave him the ax.

Maybe JILL had a hard time with women bossing her headship around and thought they dressed a little too tart-like for her liking.  He has obviously seen the skin of other women before Jill at public pools.  Personally I am thinking the Duggars made him who he is today.

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On 6/23/2018 at 4:58 PM, sixlets said:

Thank you for the warning on the movie.  I'm sooo not a movie person, but Mr. Six wants to see it.  Thankfully, I don't have epilepsy, but the strobe effect can induce migraines for me.  Thanks again!

As for the drink & popcorn, we always share a small popcorn and a medium or large drink.  Unlike these two, we're not just being cheap, as we have lunch before or after a movie.  I can say no to the popcorn, but I must have a drink.  These two need to watch the Mr. Roger's movie.  They could learn a thing or two (or six) about true kindness, humanity, and humility.  

Seeing this reminded me of a story that was posted about the passing of Koko.  She loved Mr. Rogers and when they met the 1st thing she did was take his shoes off.  RIP KOKO!

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21 hours ago, Vaysh said:

That is probably the prettiest dress I've seen Jill in. It's a nice summer dress that looks formal enough for a wedding but not stiff and frumpy/sloppy like the usual Duggar wear. And it looks like it actually fits. And there are no stupid "modesty" add-ons!

It kinda has a Cameron (from Southern Charm) vibe to it.  I will give this outfit the thumbs up.  

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On 6/24/2018 at 1:04 PM, queenanne said:

Yeah, I was at a wedding this week (not that one lol), and we were informed by a distant relation of the groom's that the bouquet/garter toss are currently considered "out".  However, (1) separate solo reception table for the bride and groom, and (2) wrist corsages for the second tier of female family attendees (grandparents etc.), are "in".  (The wrist corsage thing is an "everything old is new again" resumption of cool.)

I got married 4 years ago and did all of the above!  I did do a bouquet toss but had serious issues with everyone I've ever known watch my husband go up my dress and then throw something to them.  Ick.  I'm as heathen as they come so super surprised the fundies would be okay with that.

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(edited)

Jill posted subsequent videos where Israel was much happier, but when she asked him why he cried he told her it was because the boat was going fast and bouncing up and down in the waves. It probably would've been nice if his parents had attempted to deduce that while he was upset, but hey, when have a child's feelings ever mattered in their world?

Edited by BitterApple
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