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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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I think it was the highlight of their year growing up. It's not just "homeschooling friends" it's their only real big chance to long term socialize in a world where they are the norm and everyone around them speaks the same language, wears the same clothes and no one thinks they are odd or freakish.

When I was a child we had camp meetings for several weeks a year which were sort of similar. I knew families that lived for these weeks. They often felt very isolated in their day to day lives because they dressed differently, talked differently, raised their children differently and saw the world differently than everyone around them. But a camp, for two weeks, they were the normal ones. It was a time of tremendous rejuvenation for them as people. And relaxation.

I completely understand why the Duggars go.

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All of you should not be worried about Dill taking Izzy to the conference as I know nothing will happen to him there. As you know they are the perfect family and nothing happens bad to them. Just look at Josie a micro premmie and she is perfect not.

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I will cut her some slack on this. I agree completely that it is a stupid idea, but I don't think she really knows what else to do.

I think she's afraid to be alone in the house with the baby. Sure, she's taken care of a lot of babies, but they weren't hers, and there were plenty of other people to help.

Also, in virtually every situation that I can recall, the grandmother (almost always the mother's mother) comes to help with the new baby for the first couple of weeks. Not only were her parents out of town for the birth, but they took off to Big Sandy when this latest "precious blessing" was a week old. Not only is J'chelle not at her daughter's house helping out, it clearly never even crossed her mind -- both of these events would have been planned well in advance, and they certainly knew Jill's due date.

Jill is incredibly immature and Derick is incredibly passive -- for Izzy's sake, I hope that Jill grows up and Derick grows a pair real quick,

She wouldn't be alone. She has her buddies to help her

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Actually, all the buddies would indeed be gone , as the entire family attends the Big Sandy conference. So if they stayed behind, it would just be Derrick, Jill and baby Israel at home for a week (how long are the conferences?). And grandma Cathy is fairly nearby, isn't she? That sounds like a perfect arrangement to me :)

If indeed Derrick had already returned to work and Jill was truly going to be completely alone with the baby with no one to help her, I might cut her some slack. But then again, there's Michelle off on the trip with the rest of the Duggars. Wasn't the year that Josie was born the only year that Michelle missed this annual conference? Jim Bob took all the rest of the kids by himself. 

Also, in regards to Derrick being passive. I agree he is to a certain extent, but I'm sure Jim Bob saw and recognized this in him, and he wanted a man like that for Jill to marry. He wouldn't approve a man who didn't think that the sun rose and set with Jim Bob and Michelle. 

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We've at least seen that the family will take germ precautions and exposure restrictions with immunocompromised babies (Josie), so I do believe that Jill would keep Iz from crowds if medically advised to do so.

Except for that time when they brought preemie baby Josie on that overseas trip to Europe and Israel which ended in a medical emergency where Michelle and Jana had to stay behind in Israel with her and then bring a doctor on the plane home with them to make sure Josie made it home safely.

 

I have no trust whatsoever in the common sense of these people, even when it comes to the health of their own children. If a doctor advises something, they will "pray on it" and the prayer will always result in them getting exactly the answer they want.

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The Iz is making his first appearance at Big Sandy. I know that you don't have to keep newborns locked away, but a conference of that size would have me doling out the hand sanatizer to everyone. Then I'd try to find a plastic bubble for the stroller.

 

I'd be worried about the sanitation conditions. Maybe I have this wrong, but I always assumed it was a bunch of giant family in buses or RVs like the Duggars. Those aren't really leading to a good sanitation situation. Mix this with a giant group of baby crazy women and kids and I'd keep the baby wrapped in a blanket under the breast feeding tent Michelle used to wear and not let anyone touch him. 

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Except for that time when they brought preemie baby Josie on that overseas trip to Europe and Israel which ended in a medical emergency where Michelle and Jana had to stay behind in Israel with her and then bring a doctor on the plane home with them to make sure Josie made it home safely.

I have no trust whatsoever in the common sense of these people, even when it comes to the health of their own children. If a doctor advises something, they will "pray on it" and the prayer will always result in them getting exactly the answer they want.

You're probably right. (I wasn't watching around/after Josie; I've only seen occasional TiVo suggestion reruns from that timeframe, so caught precautions but missed the travel.) I will say that baby Israel and country Israel are going to confuse me, since the family has traveled there - on first as I read I was all, "Iz had a (post-birth) emergency already?!" :-P

But I don't think taking a healthy two-week old full-termer on a road trip to a convention is anywhere near as risky as taking a former micropreemie abroad in the first year or two. (Not that you want to limit your parenting chops to clearing that particular bar, and I know I'm the one who started that comparison!) Again, I wouldn't, but the drive is probably, statistically, the biggest risk for the baby. Hopefully they all stay healthy. Sigh.

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Iz will probably be fine, it's Jill I'm worried about.  10 days after my 21-hour labor and c-section, I was not even sleeping lying flat, since my abs hurt too much and/or just didn't work to lift me up from a lying position.  I spent about a week sitting up on the couch, and another week contorting myself into a half-recline on various couches and beds in my house.  I definitely couldn't walk more than just around the house, and even that hurt, and getting up and down from a sitting position was also really painful.  That's not even counting the lack of sleep.  HOW is she dealing with a big conference? 

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It looks like they may have rented a large house or cabin this time.  If they did I think that would make it much easier on Jill and Izzie than being in an RV.  Hopefully everything except nursing the baby is being done by someone else and she's allowed a lot of rest and not going to the conference all day every day, but only when the Duggars give their pitch.  I know I'm usually far too optimistic with this bunch.  

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Boob doesn't have to give permissions I don't think. I could be wrong but the kids over 18 had to sign a contract, they get paid differently from boob and mechelle. They are legal adults who can decide for themselves what they want shown and what not. Am I wrong?

Probably wrong. From the Honey Boo Boo disaster, it was slipped that Anna, the 21 year old daughter, wasn't being paid directly. Her check was combined with the family check that Mama June received.

All an 18 year old would have to sign is a media contract allowing TLC to film them. Any financials contracts that were signed by their parents and expired after the minor came of age could be upheld until it expired. Then the kids would have a chance to renegotiate seperate from the family. It's rumored out of the kids, only Josh and family are paid seperately.

Now to Derick & Ben and eventually Marjorie, they should be paid seperately. Izzy will probably get his own contract as well. So the two married girls have TLC income coming in, but Boob controls the rest. Once the main family is up, the two new families will probably renegotiate their own deals.

I am also of the opinion that Boob probably provides the houses rent-free just so he doesn't have to give up their cut of the paychecks.

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A couple new pics of Izzy.

 

https://instagram.com/p/11j9B6rs9B/

 

https://instagram.com/p/11g1LtmCbB/

 

That's a Duggar nose, no doubt! The kid really looks like his Granddaddy Duggar. 

 

I think all newborns are cute - even the ones who look like aliens - so Izzy's definitely cute. But the poor lil guy got baby acne. I know it's normal and it doesn't last. I was just hoping with all the other crud he's going to be contending with in his life, that he'd escape that. Oh well - better now than in his teens.

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Probably wrong. From the Honey Boo Boo disaster, it was slipped that Anna, the 21 year old daughter, wasn't being paid directly. Her check was combined with the family check that Mama June received.

All an 18 year old would have to sign is a media contract allowing TLC to film them. Any financials contracts that were signed by their parents and expired after the minor came of age could be upheld until it expired. Then the kids would have a chance to renegotiate seperate from the family. It's rumored out of the kids, only Josh and family are paid seperately.

Now to Derick & Ben and eventually Marjorie, they should be paid seperately. Izzy will probably get his own contract as well. So the two married girls have TLC income coming in, but Boob controls the rest. Once the main family is up, the two new families will probably renegotiate their own deals.

I am also of the opinion that Boob probably provides the houses rent-free just so he doesn't have to give up their cut of the paychecks.

 

While I agree that they will have the chance to negotiate separately, I am not convinced they will take it. Boob will be very much against it and so far the adult children don't show a lot of ability to stand up to Boob. I think Josh has been able to separate himself because he's male and married and lots of kids. So Boob wouldn't apply as much pressure to control the finances. But JD and Jana aren't married and Jill and Jessa are women so he will be more willing and able to exert pressure to 'keep the status quo'. 

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In the photo where he's in the black and white checkered shirt, poor Iz looks hot, sweaty, tired, and a little sad as though he's thinking, "Why did you drag me to this homefooling thing? I'm a newborn. I should be sleeping in my crib at home nice and comfy. Gee mom and dad, can't you give a kid a break?"

I just feel so bad for the little guy. He had no control over being born into a family that doesn't know the meaning of the words "privacy" and "common sense."

Edited by Hpmec
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I think he looks like Jill (who looks more like JB than any of the other Duggar kids, imo) . Is has her nose and eyes. I think he'll grow into his looks as he gets older.

His little face and eyes look swollen in the first photo like he'd been on a recent crying jag.

Edited by msblossom
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I just see Boob when I look at Iz. Since he takes so strongly after the Duggars I'm assuming he'll look like Jill as he grows older.

Boob is a dork but it's not like he has awful facial features. Baby Seewald is the one who will be screwed if he ends up looking like his paternal grandpa.

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Interesting that Derick posted a pic with his kid in an Oklahoma State shirt with the caption -- 3rd generation Pistol Pete.

 

Nice to see he's held onto those dreams/plans for his son for the last 2 weeks. Though 18 more yrs to go and by then Derick will be 100% Duggar so who knows. Hopefully the homeschooling conference and having to spend days with huge uneducated fundie families -- maybe at one of his first large fundie gatherings -- is showing Derick that he married in to and socializes with totally uneducated people and their version of homeschooling is pretty much non existent, and his son will NOT be participating. As the headship this is something he should put his foot down on.

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11123816_773981659366205_27724013_n.jpg

That's cute!! He doesn't look 2 1/2 weeks old, that's for sure. That kid looks like he's 3 or 4 months old.

Forget about being 3rd generation Pistol Pete. Get him on the court, he's gonna be tall!

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Interesting that Derick posted a pic with his kid in an Oklahoma State shirt with the caption -- 3rd generation Pistol Pete.

If the show's still running in 18 years they'll let him do an episode wearing the costume. That's about as close as Iz will get to college, with Mama Jill teaching him.

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That's cute!! He doesn't look 2 1/2 weeks old, that's for sure. That kid looks like he's 3 or 4 months old.

He's actually much cuter here than in the Instagram pics, and, wow, he does look much older than he is.

 

I so, so hope Derick doesn't Duggarize 100 percent, and that some faint hope will remain that Iz can be Pistol Pete in 20 years.

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That's the size my first was at around 9 months!

I never had huge hopes for Derick, and my hopes for him haven't changed. I know he has more of a clue what kids learn at particular ages than Jill. His mother does too, and assuming he keeps his outside job, he'll have colleagues talking about what their kids do in school. He's an interested parent and I think he'll pay at least some attention to what Iz is or isn't learning from Jill. And he's going to notice that his kid is way behind. At some point, his concern for his son will be enough to get him to grow a spine and send the boy to school. (Jill, of course, will be personally offended and it's likely to be the first crisis point in their marriage.)

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We already know they plan to homeschool, and Jill isn't likely to belong to a network with more educated Christians; she will stick to her own kind: second generation, under-educated fundie. Her daughters will go to Sierra to learn to bake cakes and brownies. Whoot! 

 

I also don't hold out much hope for Izzy attending Oklahoma State, or any college for that matter. 

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I think education is remarkably consistent across generations (at least in U.S. public schools). So I think Derick will notice that if 7th grade rolls around and Iz is doing arithmetic flashcards meant for 2nd graders rather than algebra or 12th grade rolls around and he's just starting algebra, when Derick, his bro, and most people on a college bound track are in some type of calculus or pre-calculus by then. Problem is the Mrs. He will be so whipped by then and she will be so much touchier and "my ay or the highway by then," that I'm not sure he's going to be able to call her out on his kids' lack of education without causing some serious offense. The Duggars are not people who understand what they don't know.

 

I don't know if anyone remembers the Dilley sextuplets in Indiana (all college seniors now); their mom wanted the experience of homeschooling for a yr or two and did it in like 5th or 6th grade. When asked why those grades, she said -- well we thought a lot about it, and when they're very little and learning to read etc. and just getting used to school, they need an intense structure that we didn't want to disturb; and when they're in high school -- they need physics labs and calculus and things like that that we can't teach at home. But in 5th-6th, it's a good "in between" time where we can handle the math/science/literature. Of course Mrs. Dilley is a nurse -- from an actual college with an actual certification -- not certified by the Duggars' fellowship of professionals who bestow titles on the Duggar kids that they haven't earned, like midwife.

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I also don't hold out much hope for Izzy attending Oklahoma State, or any college for that matter.

 

JIll probably thinks that the Duggar name opens any door.

 

To be fair, Iz will be a 3rd gen legacy of the mascot. If he can somehow get a 2.0 GPA he just might get in. Not that he'd likely last with his probable upbringing.

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That's the size my first was at around 9 months!

I never had huge hopes for Derick, and my hopes for him haven't changed. I know he has more of a clue what kids learn at particular ages than Jill. His mother does too, and assuming he keeps his outside job, he'll have colleagues talking about what their kids do in school. He's an interested parent and I think he'll pay at least some attention to what Iz is or isn't learning from Jill. And he's going to notice that his kid is way behind. At some point, his concern for his son will be enough to get him to grow a spine and send the boy to school. (Jill, of course, will be personally offended and it's likely to be the first crisis point in their marriage.)

 

I hope for this too, but sadly, don't have much hope. It could happen, but I think it's unlikely. I think Derick is that very rare individual, an extraordinarily-passive male. He didn't even really pursue a wife on his own. I would not be surprised if he left WalMart for the show, or went into ministry himself, or followed some other type of opportunity in the next few years. I think his exposure to "normal" people could easily be very limited, even non-existent. I could see his own mother as being the type who doesn't like to meddle. I could easily see him praying for all the answers, rather than thinking about them. And I can definitely see Jill as being the real headship of this family. Whether she gets it by being loud or by being more subtle and quiet, I think Jill will get her way - and by extension, Boob's way. 

Edited by Wellfleet
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They will be traveling to Ohio in June. The touring does not take a break.

And will Derick take MORE time off work to come along?  At some point Wal-Mart, and his co-workers who are picking up the slack are going to get fed up.

 

Good job, Derick! Throw away a decent job with benefits for the travelling dog and pony show.

 

I had such high hopes for Jill and Derick and they have "totally" disappointed me.

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That little OSU shirt is cute, and Derick may still be laboring under the illusion that Iz could be Pistol Pete one day. However, if Jill has anything to say about it, Iz will be lucky to attend Clown College. That little onesie is as close to a Pistol Pete outfit as he will ever get.

I can see the children's education as the one area that could cause real problems for those two. Derick knows the value of an education, and he also knows that going to a public college is not incompatible with his Baptist beliefs. But, Jill's upbringing totally precludes any of that. She's Gothard to the core, and Boob never would have allowed her to enter a courtship with, let alone marry Derick, unless he was convinced he could turn him into a Duggar.

It does, indeed, remain to be seen how all of this shakes out. Hope for the kids' sake, though, that common sense prevails and Derick makes sure they somehow get an education from someone more qualified than Jill.

Edited by Hpmec
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A ten pound, over full term baby is almost certainly safe in a sling. They are extremely popular in Europe where almost every mother uses one and do you hear about massive infant death in Europe? No, you don't.

Sometimes litigation in the U.S. goes overboard because we live in a society with one attorney for every 300 people.

Jill is doing fine, carrying him is a sling.

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The sling doesn't bug me as much as the fact that they're taking a newborn into a Petri dish of germs and Jill really should be taking it easy.

Jill has shown a continuing pattern of lack of commonsense and what looks to me like not being very concerned about the baby's welfare.  She seems to be doing what she wants to do or what Jim Bob wants her to do rather than what would likely be better for Izzie and quite likely better for her also.  

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I'm impressed Jill's able to hold him in the sling so soon after having a c-section.  The sling does look a little low on the body.  I have a friend who had an emergency c-section and she had a hard time carrying her baby in carriers months after birth.  I hope that Jill isn't overdoing it and that they are limiting the amount of time Iz is out in public. She's probably Lion King-ed him in front of the whole conference by now though.

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