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Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House


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The Duggars post about politics on social media frequently, but these social media posts are not an invitation to discuss politics here in this forum. This rule extends to Duggar adjacent families, friends, associates etc. Such discussions are a violation of the Politics Policy. 

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss certain social media postings of those in the Duggar realm as they relate to politics- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

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There’s her kids scrounging around again to feed themselves..

Why not have a basket of healthy snacks on a bottom shelf or countertop , apples, crackers etc and tell them they’re allowed 2 snacks each per day and that’s all… no climbing, foraging, no hiding inside the fridge drinking milk straight from the carton, no tub of sour cream, no passing out asleep tightly grasping crackers like a starving man.

For someone who loves to pontificate about the proper way to mother and raise children she sure doesn’t give them much guidance, they’re stacking chairs on a piano bench and trying to scrounge through the top cabinets for something to eat but somehow Jessa turns it into her magical super powers of knowing when one of her kids is about to break their neck.  🙄

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On 10/5/2022 at 3:52 PM, Trillium said:

Jessa is absolutely a judgement bitch, she’s not even hiding it. I’m not sure what she thinks secular mom’s do differently or how she’d even know. But she’s obviously better than them!  

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Eff you, Jessa.

On 10/5/2022 at 5:32 PM, GeeGolly said:

So are we to believe that secular homes across the land are filled with selfish useless adults still living in their bedrooms and fighting with their siblings?

And in contrast, those Duggar adults are all grown up and TOTALLY not still tied to Daddy’s purse strings and really rocking the parenting gig. Sure, Jan.

On 10/5/2022 at 7:25 PM, ginger90 said:

Post by Jessa:

Moms are everyday heroes. Proof: They can disappear behind a door for 30 seconds to change a diaper and lay a baby down for a nap, while continuing to use their 6th sense to perceive any possible danger in the rest of the house— and then they can magically reappear just in the nick of time to stop a bad idea from going— well— bad. 

Haha! Kids can certainly keep you on your toes, and you have to give them credit for thinking outside the box and trying to be problem solvers! And then there are times you have to go a step further to explain the “no” and make a rule you never dreamed you’d have to make as a mother! 

New Seewald house rule: No stacking anything on top of anything and then standing on top of the second anything. 

(Now that I think about it, when the boys were tiny, I’m pretty sure I used a similar tactic with a step ladder on top of an outdoor table to hang their swing from a tree branch— but I digress.)

What’s the funniest/wildest rule you’ve ever found yourself having to make for your kiddos? ☺️🤍

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Either it’s restaged, or her first thought on seeing her kid in danger was “ooh, I gotta get this moment on film!” rather than to run over and get Henry off that rickety setup to safety.🙄

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2 hours ago, BigBingerBro said:

This article is funny all speculation from what “fans” think. I don’t think Jessa is jealous of Jingers life at all, Jessa has got the life she wants, she has no interest in leaving Arkansas ever and she’s got a hubby that she gets to boss around. I can’t see Jeremy happy with Jessa as his wife because he wants a “meek wife “ & Jessa is anything but meek. 

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5 hours ago, Cinnabon said:

LOL - the Sun thinks Jinjer bought a MaNsIOn 😆🤡.

How in the heck does anyone at the Sun dare to suggest that an 800 grand house in the LA area could possibly be a mansion?  I live in the Midwest, where you could get a mansion for 800K and even I know that would only pay for a starter home in LA.

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3 hours ago, FizzyPuff said:

This article is funny all speculation from what “fans” think. I don’t think Jessa is jealous of Jingers life at all, Jessa has got the life she wants, she has no interest in leaving Arkansas ever and she’s got a hubby that she gets to boss around. I can’t see Jeremy happy with Jessa as his wife because he wants a “meek wife “ & Jessa is anything but meek. 

All of the Duggars are, IMO, competative, and I do think that Jessa is jealous, to some extent of Jinger (and her other siblings, and other Gothard women, etc.). Not that Jinger has anything better, but in that it's too close for comfort.

The houses are about the same square footage with a similar number of BRs and BAs, and open floor plans. Jessa is winning with 4 kids to 2, and Ben is a preacher, not a student. Since the Duggars place zero value on education, Jeremy's advanced degrees don't mean anything.

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18 minutes ago, Notabug said:

How in the heck does anyone at the Sun dare to suggest that an 800 grand house in the LA area could possibly be a mansion?  I live in the Midwest, where you could get a mansion for 800K and even I know that would only pay for a starter home in LA.

These are the same people who also described the Reber (FF’s babysitters) home as a mansion. 

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9 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

The houses are about the same square footage with a similar number of BRs and BAs, and open floor plans. Jessa is winning with 4 kids to 2, and Ben is a preacher, not a student. Since the Duggars place zero value on education, Jeremy's advanced degrees don't mean anything.

Call me crazy but I’d consider two kids that I can manage and provide for a win over four kids who forage for food, are bored to death, and chronically unkempt.

Regarding education while the Duggars have no use for it, Jessa was prancing with pride when Ben earned his associate degree. A doctorate, even from a unaccredited  seminary will make Jessa jealous, especially when her husband is giving sermons to an audience of 15. YMMV 😎

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4 minutes ago, SMama said:

Regarding education while the Duggars have no use for it, Jessa was prancing with pride when Ben earned his associate degree. A doctorate, even from a unaccredited  seminary will make Jessa jealous, especially when her husband is giving sermons to an audience of 15. YMMV 😎

However, Jessa never posted, offered congratulations when Ben received his batchelor's degree.  No photos of any graduation ceremony, etc.

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I think Jeremy is likely a terrible husband for several reasons, but he at least is outwardly  kind to Jinger. If Jessa is going to be jealous over anything, I think it would be that, because having a husband who is so openly hostile must suck. Overall though, I can't see Jessa really wanting anything Jinger has. Jessa's apparently not struggling financially, though how is a question for the ages. She's never been at all sociable or trendy so Jinger's lifestyle wouldn't appeal to her.  Jinger has to be a fawning blank slate for her marriage to work and Jessa has enough self-awareness to know that existence just might be worse for her than having a husband who can't stand her.

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15 hours ago, Zella said:

I actually don't find him kind to Jinger. The way he treated her during the Would You Rather game was very disturbing to me. He was condescending and acted like her opinions were somehow beneath his. The entire goddamn game is about one's preferences and opinions, Jeremy, not quantifiable fact. He's done this multiple times, so I don't think it's a one-off moment of him being weirdly competitive for a game. 

Compared to Jessa and Ben glaring at each other like they're on a Dateline special, I suppose anyone looks kind, but I don't think that means Jeremy's treatment of Jinger is something to aspire to in a relationship either. 

You're right, I worded that badly.  I do find Jeremy's behavior towards Jinger condescending, which isn't kind at all, but, publicly at least, he's not mean in the sense that he looks angry/annoyed with her or speaks in a snarky tone. I guess he's more passive aggressive in a way. And/or he's "nice" instead of kind--I came across an example recently where, say you get a flat tire. A kind but not nice person would help you change your tire but not be pleasant about it, whereas a nice person would stops and say, "Oh no! I'm sorry about the flat tire! That sucks!" but not do anything to help.

I can see Jeremy becoming openly hostile if he were married to Jessa--someone who cannot take a hint and will blithely keep doing what she's doing if he isn't explicit. Whereas Jinger seems to always be on tenterhooks and will adjust to any perception of disapproval.

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16 minutes ago, lascuba said:

You're right, I worded that badly.  I do find Jeremy's behavior towards Jinger condescending, which isn't kind at all, but, publicly at least, he's not mean in the sense that he looks angry/annoyed with her or speaks in a snarky tone. I guess he's more passive aggressive in a way. And/or he's "nice" instead of kind--I came across an example recently where, say you get a flat tire. A kind but not nice person would help you change your tire but not be pleasant about it, whereas a nice person would stops and say, "Oh no! I'm sorry about the flat tire! That sucks!" but not do anything to help.

I can see Jeremy becoming openly hostile if he were married to Jessa--someone who cannot take a hint and will blithely keep doing what she's doing if he isn't explicit. Whereas Jinger seems to always be on tenterhooks and will adjust to any perception of disapproval.

But I wouldn't call his treatment of her nice either. He's the equivalent of driving by someone changing the tire and telling them that they have the wrong tires and they're doing it wrong and by the way my sneakers are cooler than yours. That's neither nice nor kind. 

He's still an asshole. Just a different type of asshole. To me, being passive-aggressive can be just as bad (if not worse) to be on the receiving end of than outright hostility. 

Edited by Zella
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I don't think Jeremy is always an asshole and I don't think Ben is always angrily distant. I'm going to guess for the most part, the couples get along fine. With that said, I wouldn't want to be married to either of them.

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I spotted the feral Seewald boys on a few pictures of Dax’s third birthday party. Jessa must be on good terms with Amy to allow her boys to be around so many outside the Duggar bubble. Funny thing is that while I’m sure Israel and Sam were there I didn’t see them. It must have been wild for the boys to be at a structured birthday party. Amy and her husband did throw a cool party for Dax. I’m sure there was no mention about looking forward to what the Lord has in store for Dax.

Edited by SMama
Autocorrect correct butchered Dax’s name.
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Jessa is sitting across Jill and Derick. Does anyone recognize the woman who appears to be nursing next to Derrick? I’m glad the feral Seewalds enjoyed a normal birthday party. I wonder how many Duggar cousins were invited.

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4 hours ago, SMama said:

Jessa is sitting across Jill and Derick. Does anyone recognize the woman who appears to be nursing next to Derrick? I’m glad the feral Seewalds enjoyed a normal birthday party. I wonder how many Duggar cousins were invited.

To me, it sort of looks like Katey, Jed's wife. But it could be anyone.

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Just now, Salacious Kitty said:

I don't know. I don't see Famy being that close to the Howlers. They're all a decade or more younger than her. 

True. Katey was the one that immediately popped into my mind when I saw the woman, but it's probably just some random person.

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I saw someone in the background who looked like Ben wearing his Amish hat but I could not be sure. I just assumed as I imagine not many guys are wearing that hat. Ivy seemed to be having a blast. Does Dax have cousins on his father's side?  That was a great party for the kids. It is odd to see Jessa there since Amy and her mom are so critical of JB. However they do interact some on social media and I think Jessa was at Jill's shower that Amy and her mom hosted. 

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On 10/12/2022 at 2:16 PM, Zella said:

But I wouldn't call his treatment of her nice either. He's the equivalent of driving by someone changing the tire and telling them that they have the wrong tires and they're doing it wrong and by the way my sneakers are cooler than yours. That's neither nice nor kind. 

He's still an asshole. Just a different type of asshole. To me, being passive-aggressive can be just as bad (if not worse) to be on the receiving end of than outright hostility. 

I suspect, given what we know of JB, FF and even Michelle, that Jinger's probably pretty used to having a family member tell her that her opinions are stupid (see, the Walmart incident). Whether she minds or not is a whole other question that I don't think we can answer (Jinger's the most stepford of the wives, from what I can see). 

I wonder about Jessa, though. I can see her being a lot less likely to smile and take the passive aggressive condescension, but that scowling contempt seems like it would be hard to take too (and not something we've really seen the rest of the family). 

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25 minutes ago, satrunrose said:

I suspect, given what we know of JB, FF and even Michelle, that Jinger's probably pretty used to having a family member tell her that her opinions are stupid (see, the Walmart incident). Whether she minds or not is a whole other question that I don't think we can answer (Jinger's the most stepford of the wives, from what I can see). 

I wonder about Jessa, though. I can see her being a lot less likely to smile and take the passive aggressive condescension, but that scowling contempt seems like it would be hard to take too (and not something we've really seen the rest of the family). 

Walmart incident?  Please, do tell!

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6 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

Walmart incident?  Please, do tell!

That comes from when Jinger said "City, please" when the girls were asked where they wanted to live back in the 19 Kids days. Michelle (could have been Jill) smacked Jinger down when she said that Jinger just meant that she wanted to live near a Walmart.

Edited by Salacious Kitty
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IIRC Jill told Jinger during the TH (after city, please) something to the effect about what God had planned for her. A very deflated Jinger said she needed to work on her contentment. Then faster than God can strike you with lighting Michelle was asked by some rag about Jinger’s comment. Michelle blew it off by saying that Jinger meant a city with a Walmart, not a big city.
 

Those kids were shot down every time they expressed any individuality. I’m glad Jinger at least realized her dream of living in a big city. She seems to love it, and up yours Michelle. 

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14 minutes ago, SMama said:

Those kids were shot down every time they expressed any individuality. I’m glad Jinger at least realized her dream of living in a big city. She seems to love it, and up yours Michelle. 

I originally selected the sad emoji but got to the last sentence and revised to the heart reaction for your post. Up yours, MEchelle, 100,000 times.

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My favorite part about that anecdote is that they live close to multiple Walmarts and even the  corporate headquarters. It's like 30 minutes away from their house. Michelle is so full of shit. 

Edited by Zella
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1 minute ago, Zella said:

My favorite part about that anecdote is that they live close to multiple Walmarts and even the  corporate headquarters. It's like 30 minutes away from their house. Michelle is so full of shit. 

Yeah, that thought crossed my mind as I originally watched the episode. It was such a bullshit excuse.

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I feel like at this point it's a chicken and egg situation: is the marriage between Ben and Jessa sour because Jessa is such an unpleasant person, or is Jessa sour and unpleasant because she's married to a guy she doesn't like and can't divorce him and has four little kids with him? 

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22 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I feel like at this point it's a chicken and egg situation: is the marriage between Ben and Jessa sour because Jessa is such an unpleasant person, or is Jessa sour and unpleasant because she's married to a guy she doesn't like and can't divorce him and has four little kids with him? 

Interesting question! Jessa wasn't exactly known as the pleasant and cheery Duggar pre Ben (Free Jana's jewelry box!), but I wouldn't be surprised if the marriage has made things worse instead of better.

I wonder what kind of guy would have been good for Jessa if she had a do over. I can't see "Sure, my kids are border-line feral, but I'm happier than you 'cause Jesauce, so there!" Jessa being happy with the condescending and oh-so-carefully-curated Jeremy (I don't think there's a meek bone in Jessa's body). Some of the anger and passive aggressive tendencies make Derrick a better (but not very healthy) match and I expect the education gap would be a thorn in both their sides. Austin might work, but Jessa's not outdoorsy like Joy, so probably not. I dunno, maybe she should have waited for Timcel Rod. 

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43 minutes ago, satrunrose said:

Interesting question! Jessa wasn't exactly known as the pleasant and cheery Duggar pre Ben (Free Jana's jewelry box!), but I wouldn't be surprised if the marriage has made things worse instead of better.

I wonder what kind of guy would have been good for Jessa if she had a do over. I can't see "Sure, my kids are border-line feral, but I'm happier than you 'cause Jesauce, so there!" Jessa being happy with the condescending and oh-so-carefully-curated Jeremy (I don't think there's a meek bone in Jessa's body). Some of the anger and passive aggressive tendencies make Derrick a better (but not very healthy) match and I expect the education gap would be a thorn in both their sides. Austin might work, but Jessa's not outdoorsy like Joy, so probably not. I dunno, maybe she should have waited for Timcel Rod. 

I think she wanted someone like JB: someone who thought she hung the moon. She wants to be fawned over and admired for her looks and her ability to produce children, and to have all of her flaws glossed over and defended.

I think that her original view of Ben (and his sappy poetry) was that he was that guy. But, over time (a relatively short time, at that), he's lost interest at groveling at her feet. He has interests of his own and I think he wants and expects some kudos of his own for his accomplishments -- and I doubt he get it from her.

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I see the Duggar sisters' marriages a bit differently. I think Jessa and Ben have had the typical bumps in their marriage, but I think they're happy, bonded with hateful faith and are not poorly matched. 

I see Joy and Austin as a good match, but I think Joy would go with the flow no matter who she was married to.

I think Jinger started out in awe of Jeremy, but has come into her own and they are a good match.

I think Jill and Derick looked like a great match on paper but I think they have struggled the most. Because Jill made many statements about following her headship, its my opinion she didn't want to fight with her father over money, but did it because Derick wanted to. Jill also wanted a husband who was home with her, as they popped out babies, went on missions and saved the world with Bible verses. Now she is home alone and her husband is a lawyer. Because it looks somewhat 'normal' its assumed Jill wants this life. While I think she is proud of Derick IMO, this isn't her dream, its his.

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Joy and Austin and JD and Abbie are the only couples that look consistently happy in their photos.  Jill And Derick have seemed happier the last few years too.  But those are just photos, so who really knows.  I mean, no marriage is perfect, but in the Duggars isolated world, they're probably as happy as can be reasonably expected.

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1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I see the Duggar sisters' marriages a bit differently. I think Jessa and Ben have had the typical bumps in their marriage, but I think they're happy, bonded with hateful faith and are not poorly matched. 

I see Joy and Austin as a good match, but I think Joy would go with the flow no matter who she was married to.

I think Jinger started out in awe of Jeremy, but has come into her own and they are a good match.

I think Jill and Derick looked like a great match on paper but I think they have struggled the most. Because Jill made many statements about following her headship, its my opinion she didn't want to fight with her father over money, but did it because Derick wanted to. Jill also wanted a husband who was home with her, as they popped out babies, went on missions and saved the world with Bible verses. Now she is home alone and her husband is a lawyer. Because it looks somewhat 'normal' its assumed Jill wants this life. While I think she is proud of Derick IMO, this isn't her dream, its his.

I feel like the realities of marriage and adulthood were probably a very rude awakening for all the Duggar kids. (And to be fair, it tends to be a rude awakening to some extent for everyone.) I do think Jill perhaps struggled with her identity the most in some ways since a big part of her self-identification before she married was her being a midwife and she seems to have been disabused of that pretty strongly. (And I'd argue that was for the best. Even beyond the mediocre training and experience she had, I do not think she had the personality to do that work safely and effectively.) And it wouldn't surprise me if that was very hard for her to handle. She also seemed to really struggle with the realities of being a missionary, so I am assuming that was another hit to the way she saw herself early in the marriage. 

With Jessa, I often wonder if her frustration is more the opposite in that it seems like she's the one who has adhered the most to her parents' roadmap--she has more kids than any of her other sisters and is still trying to generate the same hokey social media content the family did on the show. In that sense, I think of her as sticking more closely to the family brand than any of the other married sisters. But it definitely hasn't generated the same level of attention directed at her other sisters. But again we only really know what they post on social media. It is hard for me to understand a lot of the content most of these people do put up because it seems so unflattering, but ultimately it is a snapshot of just a small sliver of their day. 

Edited by Zella
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Message added by Scarlett45

The Duggars post about politics on social media frequently, but these social media posts are not an invitation to discuss politics here in this forum. This rule extends to Duggar adjacent families, friends, associates etc. Such discussions are a violation of the Politics Policy. 

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss certain social media postings of those in the Duggar realm as they relate to politics- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

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