Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Almost 3000]

  

"Love gloves" is great. We can add that to the Duggar dictionary. Also to be included is "Jesus sticks" for pregnancy test sticks that another poster renamed.

From what we've seen, Jessa's work with orphans is fingernail polishing.

I was going to say this too. Jessa doesn't seem to "have a heart for children" much like her mother, Michelle. Jesse really just needs time to be a teen/young woman and experiment with life bit.

[EarlGreyTea]

I was going to say this too. Jessa doesn't seem to "have a heart for children" much like her mother, Michelle. Jesse really just needs time to be a teen/young woman and experiment with life bit.

I really wish she lived in a culture that accepted that some couples just do not want kids, or just want two or three. She and Ben could have fulfilled lives of traveling, learning a trade (someone who suggested she should be a fundie makeup artist/hairstylist was genius) or whatever they want.

 

That said, they're going to have kids anyway, and I tend to think she might join the Miranda Hobbes school of "I don't like any kids except my own." Which is fine.

Edited March 13, 2015 by EarlGreyTea

[Mrsjumbo]

I had to look up who Miranda Hobbes is, LOL!

That sounds like me. I don't really enjoy watching anyone else's kids. But I loved raising my boys, I really loved every minute of it.

[flyingdi]

I am still not sure that it's children Jessa does not like or she just does not want to raise her mother's. None of the little kids seem to actively avoid her or anything and they seem quite fond of Ben.

[msblossom]

I get that some people aren't "kid people" unless they're their own. I was kind of like that until I got to know and developed relationships with certain children better.

But her own little brothers and sisters? She wasn't silly or fun with them or even displayed anything resembling like towards them. I shudder to think that she may have inherited Michelle's lack of maternal feelings toward kids in general. At least she won't lie and pretend to care when she doesn't with that high pitched little girl voice. I think it will be Ben who shows affection and love towards their kids.

The fact that she's finally come around and shown some spark of love toward Ben is a good sign and hopefully if they ever do have kids her heart will grow 6 times larger. But adoption? No. I don't see this in her future. It's hard enough to see Jessa loving a child that is biologically hers; I cannot see her loving a child that isn't.

Edited March 14, 2015 by msblossom

[cmr2014]

I've been doing genealogy research for many years, and it's pretty standard to start searching for the marriage record 2 years prior to the birth of the first child -- that approximation is usually pretty accurate. I mention this because there is nothing odd about Jessa not being pregnant yet -- if she's still not pregnant after a year, then there might be something to talk about. I wish I could be as hopeful as the posters who think they may be using birth control on the sly, but I really doubt it.

 

I think the adoption talk may have something to do with Ben's obsession with abortion. They are young and idealistic now and I could easily see them having conversations about adopting all of those unwanted babies -- living their beliefs.

[floridamom]

I listened to that radio interview and Jessa was asked directly if she was pregnant right NOW... and she didn't answer the question. It was a yes/no inquiry. She evaded it quite well...she is her parents' daughter for sure..All she had to do was say "no" or "yes, I am". I agree that the kids don't seem to be missing her too much....it's Jill they prefer to hang out with..I think that's because Jill is more like a 14 year old stern babysitter. Jessa isn't interested in "tea parties" or licking frosting off tables at HER house...

[roamyn]

Of course Jill's a 24 yr old babysitter!

That's all she was allowed to be.

Jana's a 40 yr old mother, Jill's the 14-15 yr old babysitter, Jinger's the 16 yr old housekeeper, and Jessa's the distant aunt who paints their nails and dresses their hair.

[RazzleberryPie]

When we have seen Jessa with the kids, she isn't super huggy or silly, but she's far better than any of the rest of them (Michelle included) and telling them to sit down, behave, wash their hands, etc. She isn't mean, but she ain't playin' either. I think the kids, especially the Howlers and Lost Girls, NEED some more discipline than Jill with her head in the clouds, Joy overwhelmed (she's a TEEN, she should be overwhelmed with childcare for half a dozen little kids) or Jinger rolling her eyes and fawning over Jessa. I left Jana out, bc they've been threatened on the show before (by Joy) into being good or she'll send them to Jana. 

[msblossom]

I listened to that radio interview and Jessa was asked directly if she was pregnant right NOW... and she didn't answer the question. It was a yes/no inquiry. She evaded it quite well...she is her parents' daughter for sure..All she had to do was say "no" or "yes, I am".

Yeah I just finished listening to it and I have to say it sounded like she didn't want to have to lie, so she sort of nervously laughed. Oh dear God, I hope she's not pregnant. However, if I had to wager on it, I'd say she is.

[Barb23]

While looking at the books the Duggars recommend on their website, two of them caught my eye: the "Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook" & "What He Must Be....If He Wants to Marry My Daughter". I'm sure this is the workbook Wedding Counselors Boob & MEchelle use & the other one said it outlines the 10 qualities to look for in a son-in-law. I don't want to waste the money to buy them, but I'd love to read them. I'll have to get the full description of them on Amazon.

[Sew Sumi]

Saw pics of Benessa at today's stop on the Southern Women's Show tour in Memphis. In addition to the usual Duggar tract photo, she also had a stack of HEADSHOTS in front of her to sign. Not even her and Ben. Just her. 

 

REALLY JESSA???

[Barb23]

Yeah I just finished listening to it and I have to say it sounded like she didn't want to have to lie, so she sort of nervously laughed. Oh dear God, I hope she's not pregnant. However, if I had to wager on it, I'd say she is.

I hope not either but after all, they are in the 4 month range that the Smuggars were in when Anna got pregnant. Remember it took them 4 looong months to conceive. I'm going along with Benessa waiting to steal the thunder & announce it soon after Dilly is born.

Edited March 15, 2015 by Barb23

[EarlGreyTea]

Saw pics of Benessa at today's stop on the Southern Women's Show tour in Memphis. In addition to the usual Duggar tract photo, she also had a stack of HEADSHOTS in front of her to sign. Not even her and Ben. Just her. 

 

REALLY JESSA???

Hilarious. What picture did she choose? It may be that she printed them out before they married and didn't want to waste them, but you never know with her.

[RazzleberryPie]

Saw pics of Benessa at today's stop on the Southern Women's Show tour in Memphis. In addition to the usual Duggar tract photo, she also had a stack of HEADSHOTS in front of her to sign. Not even her and Ben. Just her. 

 

REALLY JESSA???

I believe it. Jessa might not be drinking the Gothard Kool-aid for the principal, like Jill, but for the attention she gets from it. Not to say that she isn't a true believer, but that girl is Vain with a capital V. She's not going to swerve too hard from anything that keeps lavishing all of this attention and income on her. Jim Bob knew exactly what he was doing when he set her and Ben up as the next Fundie Barbie and Ken.

 

I hope not either but after all, they are in the 4 month range that the Smuggars were in when Anna got pregnant. Remember it took them 4 looong months to conceive. I'm going along with Benessa waiting to steal the thunder & announce it soon after Dilly is born.

They may not be trying on purpose to get pregnant, like Anna did, but if they're not trying to prevent it by abstaining on peak ovulation days, she's going to get pregnant very soon. I'd kind of crack up if she stole Jill's thunder by announcing it right around Jill's delivery date. Of course, she'll be all nonchalant and express how nontraditional she wants everything to be, probably by being sooooo innovative *insert Jinger eyeroll* as to serve blue or pink ice cream instead of blue or pink cupcakes, because Jessa is a rebel and all. She'll die if she gets fat.

[JoanArc]

Headshots? She has 5 years of 'hot' looks left, then another 5 of 'good'. Less, the more babies she pops out. She's too vain, vapid, and bitchy to be a Tammy-Faye type, long term.

[DangerousMinds]

While looking at the books the Duggars recommend on their website, two of them caught my eye: the "Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook" & "What He Must Be....If He Wants to Marry My Daughter". I'm sure this is the workbook Wedding Counselors Boob & MEchelle use & the other one said it outlines the 10 qualities to look for in a son-in-law. I don't want to waste the money to buy them, but I'd love to read them. I'll have to get the full description of them on Amazon.

I bet that second book states that a man must be self-sufficient enough to support his daughter. Hahahahahaha.

[Sew Sumi]

I hope not either but after all, they are in the 4 month range that the Smuggars were in when Anna got pregnant. Remember it took them 4 looong months to conceive. I'm going along with Benessa waiting to steal the thunder & announce it soon after Dilly is born.

Her wedding episode airs on the 24th (Rick James' due date). I bet the announcement comes out either that Monday (23rd) or announced by People early on the 24th at the latest, regardless of the status of Rick James. 

[kellylovessnark]

I got the Southern Women's while Ben and Jessa signing copies of the Dugger dating guide book. So unfortunately I don't know what they talked about. The headshot is the same as the one on the Southern Women's website only in b & w. They also had a family picture. It looked like a generic 19k&c stock photo.

I find it amusing that they had to listen to heathen music. The tent was advertising a top 40 station here in town. There were a couple of Michael Jackson songs and wondered if Jessa knew of him.

I wanted to buy the book and have them sign it. by the time I made up my mind, they closed the line for book signing.

I have a few pictures I was able to take. So kinda worthwhile trip.

Edited March 15, 2015 by kellylovessnark

[ChiCricket]

I wouldn't be surprised of the Seewalds or Ben's friends gave them condoms.

They could buy them online with a fake name, too.

[EarlGreyTea]

I got the Southern Women's while Ben and Jessa signing copies of the Dugger dating guide book. So unfortunately I don't know what they talked about. The headshot is the same as the one on the Southern Women's website only in b & w. They also had a family picture. It looked like a generic 19k&c stock photo.

I find it amusing that they had to listen to heathen music. The tent was advertising a top 40 station here in town. There were a couple of Michael Jackson songs and wondered if Jessa knew of him.

I wanted to buy the book and have them sign it. by the time I made up my mind, they closed the line for book signing.

I have a few pictures I was able to take. So kinda worthwhile trip.

Thanks for the info! They might be able to make this into a full time career if they play their cards right, tighten their message (whatever it is) and work hard. Be better than working for Jim Bob. They could be the new Jim and Tammy Faye. Both she and Jessa apply their makeup with a butter knife (tm The Golden Girls). I think of someone like Sarah Palin who makes a very pretty penny just doing public speaking. Ditto Hillary Clinton. Of course, both of these women actually experienced more than life at TTH, so.

 

I wonder what on earth they talked about. I imagine the novelty of seeing them trumps the fact that they have been married all of five minutes.

[Temperance]

I think they would have to wait 2 years before applying to adopt.  Most agencies wouldn't let a 22 or 23-year-old adopt.  

Or a 19/20 year old (Ben) either.

 

I've been doing genealogy research for many years, and it's pretty standard to start searching for the marriage record 2 years prior to the birth of the first child -- that approximation is usually pretty accurate. I mention this because there is nothing odd about Jessa not being pregnant yet -- if she's still not pregnant after a year, then there might be something to talk about. I wish I could be as hopeful as the posters who think they may be using birth control on the sly, but I really doubt it.

 

I think the adoption talk may have something to do with Ben's obsession with abortion. They are young and idealistic now and I could easily see them having conversations about adopting all of those unwanted babies -- living their beliefs.

Yes I definitely think it has something for Ben to do with his abortion crusade. I think Jessa may have other motives including driving her parents crazy.

 

In my genealogical research, the first child is likely to come 9 months or so after the wedding. Or even a year. Two years seems a lot to me, without birth control.

 

Also, they are pretty newly married to be giving advise and talking about what's important for couples.  I really hope these girls' marriages endure because they would not know how to deal with a failed marriage.  Are they even allowed to divorce? 

 

 

 They have a legal right to divorce. I know a lot of religious types who swore they didn't believe in divorce--until they were getting divorced themselves. 

 

I hope everyone has a happy marriage, but with 19 kids, it statistically unlikely no one will ever divorce. 

[Sew Sumi]

Here's the headshot. Let's now also analyze their handwriting! LOL

 

https://instagram.com/p/0O42PBrctB/

[DangerousMinds]

They have no life experience or real education, I can't imagine what their "message" could possibly be.

[cmr2014]

 

In my genealogical research, the first child is likely to come 9 months or so after the wedding. Or even a year. Two years seems a lot to me, without birth control.

 

Your family may be more fertile than mine :), but I've been researching for a long time, and have done a lot of families other than my own, and two years is really common (not two full years, but in the second year of marriage, which would mean conception 4-15 months after the wedding). Some, of course, had a child nine months after the wedding (and a few before that), but for most the first child didn't appear exactly nine months after the wedding.

 

Three years or more, though, is abnormal and would suggest a miscarriage.

 

I really hope that Benessa are waiting, but my point is that four months with no "big announcement" doesn't mean that they are using bc (or NFP) on the sly. I hope that they are -- for their own sakes as well as for the sake of their future child(ren) .

[Quof]

 

In my genealogical research, the first child is likely to come 9 months or so after the wedding

 Really?  In my family, we like to say Only the Second Baby Takes 9 Months.   The first often miraculously gestates in 5-8 months.   As to buying condoms, Jessa and Ben can buy them the same way I taught all my friends' teenagers - go to a supermarket with self-scan checkout, buy a few items in addition to the condoms and no one will even notice you scan them.

[CofCinci]

If Jessa has stated that they use no birth control, yet are active, how can she be so sure that they will not have any children for a few years? Once again, a contradiction with these people...

Anal.

[Cherrio]

Anal.

The funny thing is , is that they will still be wondering why Jessa isnt pregnant.

[SoSueMe]

A quick question if anyone knows. I'm a relative Duggar newbie so this may be common knowledge to some. After a happy couple has been blessed with a pregnancy, does this bunch discourage further 'sweet fellowship' during pregnancy? I can just imagine a lot of frustrated newly married couples.

[Barb23]

Was the "autographed" picture complimentary or did followers have to make a love donation to get one? And what exactly does a follower do with the photo -- Is it framed & hung front & center in the living room with other family photos? It looks weird that Bin added his signature to her photo - they couldn't have given out a wedding photo of themselves? I agree with the poster that said Jessa's photos were probably laying around gathering dust so they used them instead of paying to have a more current couple photo printed.

[Zahdii]

A quick question if anyone knows. I'm a relative Duggar newbie so this may be common knowledge to some. After a happy couple has been blessed with a pregnancy, does this bunch discourage further 'sweet fellowship' during pregnancy? I can just imagine a lot of frustrated newly married couples.

 

I've never heard of abstention being advised as a 'religious' requirement for them.  I think it's like for most other couples, don't do weird shit during pregnancy, talk to your doctor if you have questions, be respectful if the mother-to-be isn't up for sex right now, stop if something doesn't feel right, etc.

 

I know that some people here seem to feel that the Gothard cult wife must submit to her husbands carnal needs whenever he wants, but they say that both the husband and wife have to respect each other on when to have sex.  They're supposed to try to do their best to make sure that each party is satisfied.  Supposedly, if the wife wants sexy times the husband is supposed to give it his best shot, unless he just can't for whatever reason.  We all know there are plenty of reasons why someone doesn't or can't have sex. 

 

However, I suspect that the party line of 'both of you have to want to do it' is subverted by all the other crap about how the man is the conduit to God, he knows all things that God wants, and if the man says that he's prayed a whole half second to God about sex, his wife is supposed to think "OK, God just told my hubby that he should have sex with me.  Makes sense, since he's already horny, that horniness MUST have come from God.  OMG!  I've just been given a directive from God to have sex!"

 

Meanwhile, if the wife tries to initiate sex and her husband isn't into it, he can wait a few seconds and say that God has told him he should go to sleep now.

 

Can't win in the Duggar world if you're a female.

Edited March 15, 2015 by Zahdii

[Barb23]

Let's not forget them following the rule of abstaining from sex after the baby is born. It's a different time frame for each sex but I don't remember what they are. Can someone refresh us?

[GEML]

I do a lot of genealogy, and I've noticed that fertility often skips a generation. A woman may have seven daughters, for instance, but out of those seven daughters, only three may go on to be just as fertile as she was. The other four seem to have only one or two children. Since there wouldn't have been reliable birth control options, you have to assume something else is in play.

[Jenniferbug]

They do have sex during pregnancy. I recall Michelle and Jim Bob being shown at a Bradley class when she was pregnant with Jennifer or Jordyn, and them discussing with the teacher how sex can help prepare the cervix to dilate, and Jim Bob having his huge horn dog smile the whole time.

Brain bleach has never been capable of erasing that discussion from my mind.

[SusieQZie]

A quick question if anyone knows. I'm a relative Duggar newbie so this may be common knowledge to some. After a happy couple has been blessed with a pregnancy, does this bunch discourage further 'sweet fellowship' during pregnancy? I can just imagine a lot of frustrated newly married couples.

I remember an episode where Jim Bob and Michelle go to a birthing class and the instructor tells the couples to have "sweet fellowship" to ready the cervix for delivery. Of course JB was all goofy smiling at that. He may have even said something about them being able to vouch for thwt. I really tried to block that out of my mind! Lol.

[allonsyalice]

Was the "autographed" picture complimentary or did followers have to make a love donation to get one? And what exactly does a follower do with the photo -- Is it framed & hung front & center in the living room with other family photos? It looks weird that Bin added his signature to her photo - they couldn't have given out a wedding photo of themselves? I agree with the poster that said Jessa's photos were probably laying around gathering dust so they used them instead of paying to have a more current couple photo printed.

 

well, before I moved out of my parents house, I had one wall of my bedroom devoted to band posters and movie people and my photos with said people from those bands and people. currently, I just stick them on my laptop or my memory jar. 

I don't know why Ben added his signature. I agree that her photos were probably lying around--so they didn't have to pay to print new ones. 

and that fan photo looks awkward, with Jessa holding on to him like that. I would have requested that the fan go in between and kneel so it looks level. (or, if they have the space + time have benessa stand!)

[Darknight]

Let's not forget them following the rule of abstaining from sex after the baby is born. It's a different time frame for each sex but I don't remember what they are. Can someone refresh us?

40 days for boy 80 after a girl I believe.

[Sew Sumi]

 

Sorry for the blank box. I am editing and can't get rid of it (question was answered).

 

They didn't have these headshots at the event in Savannah last week. Someone said they were provided by the radio station that promoted them at this stop and that they just used the promo shot. I didn't care enough to look up how she was promoted at this site, so it may not be accurate information, but it does make sense. 

Edited March 15, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[Darknight]

They do have sex during pregnancy. I recall Michelle and Jim Bob being shown at a Bradley class when she was pregnant with Jennifer or Jordyn, and them discussing with the teacher how sex can help prepare the cervix to dilate, and Jim Bob having his huge horn dog smile the whole time.

Brain bleach has never been capable of erasing that discussion from my mind.

Ewwww. JB is like a sex addict. He needs it all the damn time. Use your hand

[Cherrio]

40 days for boy 80 after a girl I believe.

I would love to know the reasons for the difference in days.

 TIA

[Darknight]

I would love to know the reasons for the difference in days.

TIA

In the old testament Lev. 12:2, 4 "If a woman have conceived seed, and born a male child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of her separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean. And she shall continue in the blood of her purifying three and thirty days; she shall touch no allowed thing, nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purifying be fulfilled." (7+33= 40 days unclean after having had a boy).

Lev. 12:5 "But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation, and she shall continue in the blood or her purifying threescore and six days." (14+(3x20)+6= 80 days unclean after having had a girl). So girls are more unclean than boys

[Sew Sumi]

It's a shame that someone beat me to the explanation because I actually used the word "unclean." Gotta love OT law. Laws that they're not supposed to follow! 

[Cherrio]

In the old testament Lev. 12:2, 4 "If a woman have conceived seed, and born a male child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of her separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean. And she shall continue in the blood of her purifying three and thirty days; she shall touch no allowed thing, nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purifying be fulfilled." (7+33= 40 days unclean after having had a boy).

Lev. 12:5 "But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation, and she shall continue in the blood or her purifying threescore and six days." (14+(3x20)+6= 80 days unclean after having had a girl). So girls are more unclean than boys

Thank you !

[truelovekiss]

They do have sex during pregnancy. I recall Michelle and Jim Bob being shown at a Bradley class when she was pregnant with Jennifer or Jordyn, and them discussing with the teacher how sex can help prepare the cervix to dilate, and Jim Bob having his huge horn dog smile the whole time.

Brain bleach has never been capable of erasing that discussion from my mind.

Oh my gosh yes! I remember thinking that reaction was so teenagerish. After having that many children, I would assume that a man of his age would already be well aware of how sex would affect his partner at that stage, and upon being told, would continue to act like an adult. But you can practically hear JB screaming "Boooooobies!!!!"

[Sew Sumi]

Yeah, that conversation about cervix softening was NOT G-rated stuff meant for family viewing! I wonder how the leghumpers explained THAT to their kids? Kids who are crawling all over social media defending these people. e.g.: I saw an IG post of Ben and Jessa at Chick-Fil-A yesterday posted by an 11 year old! Scary stuff, especially given that these parents are supposedly over-protective Christians. I didn't post that here because I really felt it was invading what little privacy she has left (some clown posted it at FJ...not cool!).

[DoctorWhovian]

Anal.

 

Or lots of facials.

[EarlGreyTea]

Here's the headshot. Let's now also analyze their handwriting! LOL

 

https://instagram.com/p/0O42PBrctB/

 

Thanks. That looks like a fairly recent photo too - i think she must have known Ben by then. As for whether they were charging for autographs, I read on the website there was a special VIP meet and greet. I have to think they'd be charging for something like that.

Edited March 16, 2015 by EarlGreyTea

[Sew Sumi]

Never mind. :D (It kind of lost its punch when my computer popped up a missing post). 

Edited March 16, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[Marigold]

I was IFB (lite).

yes, to my knowledge sex during pregnancy is permitted. NEVER heard of anyone abstaining for sex after the birth (OT law) for any set days other than the usual medical suggestions to wait about 6 weeks or so. The Duggars also don't eat pork. Another OT rule but they don't eat keep kosher. I guess they do what they feel led to do?

Edited March 16, 2015 by Marigold

[Sew Sumi]

An article about Jessa and Ben's appearance at the Memphis Southern Women's Show. I will also post in the Media thread. 

 

http://theashleysrealityroundup.com/2015/03/14/exclusive-jessa-duggar-wears-sexy-dress-talks-life-with-husband-ben-at-southern-womens-show/