Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Marigny]

Jessa and Ben being responsible for another life is frightening. 

[GEML]

My parents supported marrying young, but I was also given the chance to have a very long and detailed talk with my doctor.

Don't be so sure Ben and his father didn't have such a talk, or someone didn't have such a talk with Jessa. It wasn't Michelle or Jim Bob of course, but sometimes a honeymoon baby is just the reason you have the talk.

[cereality]

My parents supported marrying young, but I was also given the chance to have a very long and detailed talk with my doctor.

Don't be so sure Ben and his father didn't have such a talk, or someone didn't have such a talk with Jessa. It wasn't Michelle or Jim Bob of course, but sometimes a honeymoon baby is just the reason you have the talk.

I agree that the Seewalds are bat shit crazy. But they also don't have money like the Duggars. Mike married at 19 and goes on about the virtues of that, but having 8 kids before age 40, working in the real estate business that went bust, having to transition to fixing windshields and do whatever else he could for 70 hrs a week in order to support a family of 10 has got to have taught him some perspective. Maybe he did talk to Ben about developing a future for his family now -- whether that's education, trades or whatever; though knowing Mike maybe it's also about -- son make your future by getting a spot with your father in law. I can't see him discouraging babies, as much as I would hope, bc it would go in the face of everything they've taught Ben for the last 19 yrs. But who knows -- Ben is pretty dumb and I could see his dad spinning things without actually saying them -- babies are great, we hope you have one right away but you know you should wait a good amount of time between pregnancies so that Jessa's health is ok etc.

[zenme]

Copy function not working, so couldn't add a quote about Jim Bob's 'barefoot and'... comment.  Given the apparent absolute adherence to the chaperone and touching restrictions that Jerick were commanded to follow, it would be unbelievable to think that sex occurred before marriage for them.   Now, Benessa, not so much (I think Jessa could (not implying she did) have snuck down to the shed at night at  if she had really tried).  Can't wait to see how these restrictions work when the younger children get of age, and the older children have fled the compound

 

There was an occasion, IIRC, where Jessa, Jinger, and Ben took the trip to DC.  I would not be surprised in the least if Jessa or Ben tiptoed into each other's quarters at night.  I would imagine trying that at the TTH would be a difficult task.  I would bet that Jimbo not only has a house alarm, but I would imagine he's got cameras as well. 

[cereality]

There was an occasion, IIRC, where Jessa, Jinger, and Ben took the trip to DC.  I would not be surprised in the least if Jessa or Ben tiptoed into each other's quarters at night.  I would imagine trying that at the TTH would be a difficult task.  I would bet that Jimbo not only has a house alarm, but I would imagine he's got cameras as well. 

Who knows if they did anything -- bc if they did why would a first kiss in church be such a big deal that it had to be done privately -- but I think they had opportunities at the TTH or Josh's house. Unlike Derick, who arrived in time for a date and then had to drop her off and JB had to watch his car drive off, Ben lived on the property. This is a family that stays up late at night and sleeps in. I don't think it would hard for Jessa to sneak out at 6 am when everyone was sound asleep and over to Ben's place -- so long as she was back before everyone awoke. And even then with so many people who wander through and eat whenever, honestly all she'd have to do is keep a change of clothes at Ben's shed, walk back in through the side door, and act like -- oh yeah I've been up for hours and already showered/ate breakfast -- I was over by Jana's desk seeing if there's any new fan mail.

 

And at Josh's house -- I'm sure Josh had her in one of the bedrooms near him and Ben down in the basement. You'd have to be more careful as parents of young kids tend to get up through the night, but seriously -- run down 2 flights of stairs, sneak in some making out and run back in before Josh gets up for work. And if Jinger even saw or heard anything, she'd look the other way.

[cereality]

Jessa posted an IG pic of the two of them at the Arkansas governor's inauguration party. No idea if this was the "official" party and the Duggars were invited as B list celebrities from Arkansas or if this is just a public party open to all citizens. In any event it got me thinking about their future plans. I'm sure Ben wants that his status as a Duggar eventually land him a position like Josh's in DC -- I'm sure that's what his parents want to. If somehow that doesn't happen because JB and/or Josh don't want to hook up a son in law and would rather hook up a "real" son in that family and Ben's future seems like it'll consist of odd jobs around JB's properties -- I think if he sticks with his college and eventually gets a BA -- online or otherwise -- he may be able to land a job in Arkansas state gov't. They are "well known" in Arkansas due to being on TV for a decade; that may be enough to get him an interview at some mid level state agency -- not necessarily the sexiest job in the world but some office job in some random gov't agency like the department of health or whatever. Now the Duggars just need to stay relevant for the 4-5 yrs it'll take him to get a degree. It would mean an independent life for them as Little Rock is 2-3 hours away from the Duggar homestead.

[lookeyloo]

Good possibility Cereality. As a retired state employee in another southern state I can say that we were "sent" special people to fill those mid level jobs. They were not well received as a general rule because they bumped better qualified people (for the most part) out of contention. And it took a lot of work for them to realize that they were expected to produce - no matter who sent them. Some left of their own accord for places where they could coast. Not saying this is the way Ben would go. Plus in our state most of the supervisors in the mid level agencies are women.

[GEML]

Good insight, cereality. Especially when you keep in mind that Ben could always launch a political career from his own part of the state, which could draw from his personal connections and Jessa, as a TV personality, would be an added draw. That way they would be adding to the Duggar political agenda, but not directly competing with one of the Duggar sons.

[cereality]

True. JB would actually like that as it would just "extend" his brand -- a son in DC politics, a son in law in local politics in Hot Springs etc. Though I have no idea how one launches a political career without first becoming a practicing lawyer or known businessman. If I were Jessa, I'd be wracking my brain to come up with ways to make my 19 yr old husband employable in such a way that he can support a family on his own far away from the TTH. If that means that he becomes an insurance agent in Hot Springs or spends his life stamping forms for a mid/lower end gov't agency in Hot Springs, so be it. For a good looking, B or C list celebrity -- I could see him doing sales for an Arkansas company as well; not selling anything too technical, but I could see him being employed by a food distributor or a local manufacturing company that "cares" that he's "famous." In any event, Jessa needs to stay on him to finish college and should be pushing him to up his courseload every semester so that he actually finishes in a reasonable amount of time, instead of taking 1-2 classes per semester and just getting bored with it 5 yrs from now.

[Jellybeans]

How do we know Ben is not going to college full-time? We know very little about this couple's lives, which is how I think they want it.

[GEML]

I don't know that he isn't in college full time, but I do think he'd like something political based on some of his actions and course of study.

And best way to become a politician is to join a local party, put in your dues and work campaigns. It's part of JB's problem politically that be wasn't good at doing that. But I suspect Ben is much more agreeable.

[Fuzzysox]

Who knows if they did anything -- bc if they did why would a first kiss in church be such a big deal that it had to be done privately -- but I think they had opportunities at the TTH or Josh's house. Unlike Derick, who arrived in time for a date and then had to drop her off and JB had to watch his car drive off, Ben lived on the property. This is a family that stays up late at night and sleeps in. I don't think it would hard for Jessa to sneak out at 6 am when everyone was sound asleep and over to Ben's place -- so long as she was back before everyone awoke. And even then with so many people who wander through and eat whenever, honestly all she'd have to do is keep a change of clothes at Ben's shed, walk back in through the side door, and act like -- oh yeah I've been up for hours and already showered/ate breakfast -- I was over by Jana's desk seeing if there's any new fan mail.

 

 

This sentence made me chuckle since I can soooo see Jessa saying that to Boob once she got in the house. 

[bigskygirl]

Does she really believe this or is this the brainwashing talking?      http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/jessa-duggar-takes-part-in-pro-life-rally-in-arkansas-2015191

[Barb23]

Sorry, I can't get past MEchelle's Facebook picture referenced in the article.

[3girlsforus]

Does she really believe this or is this the brainwashing talking?      http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/jessa-duggar-takes-part-in-pro-life-rally-in-arkansas-2015191

Do you mean is she really pro-life? I'm pretty sure she is. Lots of people are pro-life who didn't get brainwashed into thinking that. 

[GEML]

I'm sure she is. But I will also say that many people change their minds when they actually are pregnant and have a baby. Some pro-choice people become pro-life and some pro-choice become pro-life. And, of course, many have experiences make their positions more secure.

So I would say there is some chance for some "brainwashing" here, but I'd also say that if she were the same age daughter of a pro-choice advocate.

[cereality]

Did Jill announce her pregnancy as soon as she realized she was pregnant or after the first tri? Anyone find it curious that there's no Ben/Jessa announcement yet, or would they be "waiting" to announce? IIRC they've been married for 2-3 months -- I'd imagine it happens immediately at their ages with constant unprotected sex, no?

[GEML]

Average time for a young, healthy couple having regular sex is actually three to six months. I think Jill was trying and had the knowledge to do so successfully. But many young women's cycles are still erratic enough that it's not easy to time (especially if you've not been eating) and things like female orgasm and lying still afterwards - all of that makes conception more likely, but is less likely (my opinion) in a teenage lover.

So Ben and Jessa may have a few months reprieve, assuming they aren't actively trying to keep it from happening, which they might be. Josh and Anna were right on schedule at four months.

[bigskygirl]

Sorry, I should have been more clear. Is Jessa really pro-life or is she pro-life because her parents told her to be? In otherwords, she may just parrot what she was taught.

[GEML]

As a rule of thumb, I tend to think most adults should be given the benefit of the doubt that they are thinking for themselves. Few people are really brought up with critical thinking skills and exposure to open ideas, after all, although I notice lots of people like to think that they are.

[Micks Picks]

I have a problem with the huge rallys for the unborn.  Sounds like the undead tv shows I don't watch.  And then there is the occasional girl who terminated and later recanted.  Then she is forever miserable and sorrowful.  How about the babies born with horrific birth injuries that will render them miserable and in pain their entire lives but could have been stopped before birth.  And the damage to the parents and other children who suffer because of this.  I have a heart too, and it bleeds for these poor infants and chldren who live such lives of horror.  Certainly this is not the will of God.

[Skittl1321]

 

I think Jill was trying and had the knowledge to do so successfully.

 

I wonder if the Duggar girls start charting before they are married?  That way they know when they are most fertile as soon as they get married.  It takes a few months of watching to know when to best time it.

[andromeda331]

I have a problem with the huge rallys for the unborn

 

 

So do I. This maybe a little cold but I honestly don't understand why there's huge rallys for children who aren't even born when there's millions of kids stuck in foster homes or orphanages. Instead of focusing on the undead, how about focusing on finding good homes for the kids that are already here?  

[GEML]

I wonder if the Duggar girls start charting before they are married? That way they know when they are most fertile as soon as they get married. It takes a few months of watching to know when to best time it.

The only reason I suspect not is that they most likely have to be up and care taking before they could chart accurately. Heck, some are even care taking while in the same bed. There's a reason Michelle gets all that special privacy and the lock on the door - and it isn't only five minutes of " special time" with Jim Bob.

[Darknight]

So do I. This maybe a little cold but I honestly don't understand why there's huge rallys for children who aren't even born when there's millions of kids stuck in foster homes or orphanages. Instead of focusing on the undead, how about focusing on finding good homes for the kids that are already here?

Me too. I don't understand. Why not rally for education, the poor, immigration, helping people in need, foster kids, etc.Wasting time and money for an unborn child

[Ilovemylabs]

So do I. This maybe a little cold but I honestly don't understand why there's huge rallys for children who aren't even born when there's millions of kids stuck in foster homes or orphanages. Instead of focusing on the undead, how about focusing on finding good homes for the kids that are already here?  

I am pro life (not brainwashed) and I have adopted 2 children.

[GEML]

I'm pro-choice now, but when I was younger (around the Duggar girls' ages) I was pro-life. It doesn't strike me as any less a cause to be passionate about than another. Jessa rightfully took some guff for comparing it to the Holocaust - if you believe the slaughter of human beings is going on in your country, then you don't fight that with T-shirts and FB posts while gallivanting all over the world and posting on YouTube about doing hair. Or at least, I couldn't, having grown up reading THE HIDING PLACE by Corrie ten Boom.

But being pro-life in a general way and fighting for that? I don't agree with it any longer, and honestly think that the rally is a political tactic who's time has come and gone regardless of issue, but it's as legitimate an issue as anything else.

[jmt111]

So do I. This maybe a little cold but I honestly don't understand why there's huge rallys for children who aren't even born when there's millions of kids stuck in foster homes or orphanages. Instead of focusing on the undead, how about focusing on finding good homes for the kids that are already here?

Children in foster care, orphanages are demonized for 'taking handouts'.

Edited January 21, 2015 by jmt111

[frenchtoast]

Please let's keep this about Jessa and Ben and not a pro-choice v pro life debate. Understandably it has come up, but it is a hot button issue that is rapidly becoming off-topic.

[KateUK]

I'm not too keen on Jessa tbh, I think this marriage to this boy is ridiculous, but there you go, it is their 'destiny', Jim Bob has decided and what Jim Bob says goes.

 

I see Jessa speaking to camera with a 'knowing' look in her eye sometimes, or the 'butter wouldn't melt' expression she does and I always think she is just toeing the line for now.

 

But, in all honesty, I think both girls and the younger ones when they are older will conform  to the Duggar lifestyle, babies, babies and more babies and not a thought that there is a big world out there full of all sorts of wonderful things.

 

Not saying I want any of them to suddenly become the latest 'Housewives of....' with all that goes with that, but to listen to music...hey, push the boat out and dance, read a novel that isn't religion based, stop wearing denim skirts....although I do realise that last one is a step too far!

 

 

 

 

 

[WalrusGirl]

There will be a few other problems for Jessa with Natural Family Planning. Actually NFP requires basal temperature taking every morning and charting cycles. This helps avoid the problems with just counting days especially for those people with less regular cycles. However, it's a technique you have to learn. To use it she would have actively learn how to do it and deal with it daily. So if she's doing all that charting and temp taking it will be one more thing that will focus her on fertility, making it even harder to buck her life-long "programming" that having babies is her purpose in life.

I've read (stumbled across) pretty recently about some NFP apps now that really increase the effectiveness of NFP (either to conceive or avoid conception) - you still have to take your basal temperature and whatever else consistently, but then you can just input the info rather than really learning to interpret it solo. And we know they have smartphones, so IF she were researching NFP, etc online, she'd likely come across that development. :-) (Maybe not before the wedding, if JB&M know enough to deactivate mobile browsers or mobile app downloads on the adult kids' phones, but certainly she had the internet freedom to look up whatever she wanted online after the wedding. And if she wasn't gung-ho to immediately get pregnant, that subject would be one of the first to learn about from Dr. Google.)

[yogi2014L]

Im just hoping they both discovered oral sex and are too busy doing that, LOL!

 

Those two do NOT need to procreate anytime soon. SO young, inexperienced...ugh

[jb0495]

They're further out than Jill & Derick were so you have to give them that at least.

[WTFFF]

It took Josh and Anna four months of active trying to get her pregnant with Mackynzie - I'll be impressed if Jessa makes it to her first wedding anniversary not pregnant; until then I'm going to assume they're trying and just not succeeding.

[Skittl1321]

 

I'll be impressed if Jessa makes it to her first wedding anniversary not pregnant; until then I'm going to assume they're trying and just not succeeding.

That's statistically quite unlikely, so I'd either be impressed or sad.  It likely either means they aren't trying or she has infertility problems.  85% of ALL women trying get pregnant in 1 year, and the number only goes up if you are younger. (I could only find 98% of people in their 20s get pregnant in 2 years, couldn't find the 1 year for 20s specifically.)

[GEML]

Yes, in your twenties you aren't considered to have infertility issues until after two years given how many little things can throw it off - such as wearing tight underwear for the guy, or an untreated yeast infection, stuff like that, which people in their twenties don't know about.

[Sew Sumi]

Blessa just posted a bunch of pics of the wedding party to Facebook. Of course, Jill had to make her pic with the bride all about her Savior Fetus. *gag*

[Fuzzysox]

I think Jessa ia on BC on the low down. She doesn't have a heart for children. She helped raise her brothers and sisters and now that she has freedom why have her own to bog her down?

[Barb23]

I think Jessa ia on BC on the low down. She doesn't have a heart for children. She helped raise her brothers and sisters and now that she has freedom why have her own to bog her down?

We can only hope. Maybe she is pregnant & is doing the payback thing - waiting to announce it right before "The" birth of the great Baby Dilly. (Getting back at Jerick for announcing the Dilly pregnancy around the time of the Benessa engagement.) But she should realize nothing will take away the thunder of Dilly's birth in that family.

[Hpmec]

Ben is not father material at the moment. He has no way to support a family other than by appearing on a tv show and being JimBoob's lackey. Perhaps that has something to do with no pregnancy announcement. Jessa doesn't have a maternal bone in her body anyway. One day the gravy train will come to a screeching halt and she sure won't want to find herself saddled with a bunch of howlers and a very limited income. I hope they have taken a hard look at their situation and decided to put off parenthood, at least for now.

[Zahdii]

It's 'wait and see' for me.  Jessa and Jill were both raised in the same family and probably have very few independent memories since they've both shared almost every activity together.  They've both been raised to rush into marriage with a man (or man-child) that was pre-approved by daddy, and in the meantime they were both expected to take on more of the childcare then their own mother wouldn't provide.

 

The difference seems to be in their personalities.  Jill drank the Kool Aid and asked for a second helping.  Jessa drank and probably has been vomiting it up a bit over the years.

 

I do think that Jill married Derek because he fit the bill and she was also attracted to him, so good for them.

 

I'm not so sure of Jessa.  Was her attraction to what's-his-name because he was the quickest way out?  Was it because her own family (Jim Bob, I'm looking at you) did everything except tell the world she was a bitch and she worried that she'd never get married if she turned down...Ben, yes, I think that was the name.  For all I know she loves her crazy family and wants to be close to them so she chose Ben because her father approved and she knew she could dominate him.  Kind of mean if that's the case.  Maybe she subscribes to the "marry them young, train them up right" school of thought.

 

Ben didn't have as large a family as Jessa, and he's a male, so he wouldn't understand what Jessa's life was like, and he was also raised to marry early and start having kids right away.  It just seems that there was a lot of pressure on the couple from their parents to get married and procreate as soon as possible.  If Jessa's secretly learned as much as possible about preventing pregnancy without contraceptives, good for her.  But if Ben doesn't know about it, it's going to sting if he ever finds out.

[GEML]

I also think that Jessa, like Josh, showed a much more normal sex drive in general - meaning she found herself attracted to young, attractive men whether or not they were "appropriate" or not. So that made JB more eager to find someone to fit the bill that she could safely marry.

[Jellybeans]

It is possible both of them decided not to have children right away.

[trimthatfat]

It is possible both of them decided not to have children right away.

That's what I think. If they did, good for them.

[GEML]

I hope that's what they have decided. Even with a few years wait, they could still almost certainly have as large a family as they wish (or not.)

[DangerousMinds]

I think Jessa will soon be pregnant, if she isn't already, unfortunately.

[andromeda331]

I think Jessa will soon be pregnant, if she isn't already, unfortunately.

 

 

Your probably right. Although, I'll keep hope all the way until she announces she's pregnant. I did that for Alyssa, Anna and even Jill. 

[floridamom]

If they are unprotected, the odds are against them. I'm sure she will be "in the glorified state" before long.

[jb0495]

Jessa posted pictures on FB of Ben making her dinner. He made pasta that actually looked pretty good & made it "presentable" with onion & parsley.

Most impressive was that they were eating on real plates with silverware. I can't figure out where they are living though. The kitchen looks nice.

[bigskygirl]

Your smile could melt the old age ice cap of Antarctica .  https://www.facebook.com/JessaSeewald/photos/a.553510498109477.1073741827.553497828110744/632208466906346/?type=1&theater