Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[FizzyPuff]

21 hours ago, Nysha said:

Pretty much any judge or adoption agency in the country. The only issue right now is they don't have enough bedrooms. You can have more than 2 children in a room as long as they all have their own beds, but boys and girls are generally expected to be separated after the oldest turns 5.

While we don't have any proof Ben has a paying job, we don't have any proof he doesn't. Their house is adequately clean, the children and their clothes are well-kept, and the kids seem to be happy and healthy. A lot of adoptive parents home school, spank, and have strict evangelical beliefs. As long as there aren't any red flags that the child would be abused, they'd qualify in a heartbeat.

I just find it sad that a judge would give them a child, sure the child would have their physical needs met (roof over their head, food in their belly etc) but what about their emotional needs? I just see them treating the adopted child differently and like a trophy to show off. 

[Absolom]

1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

Actually, I think she may have learned that approach from her cult and the family brand of religion. 

Her father perhaps.  Mr. Control Freak and how dare you disagree with me or not put on a smiley face on demand?

[BitterApple]

Spurge definitely seems like he's regressing. Pre-Ivy, Jessa posted quite a few videos of her doing educational things with him, but that seems to have gone by the wayside. 

Henry is starting to remind me of Chuck Cunningham. He's barely featured and mentioned so little, I'm not sure he still exists. I'm half expecting him to go to his room for a nap and never be heard from again.

Edited September 28, 2020 by BitterApple

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, Absolom said:

Her father perhaps.  Mr. Control Freak and how dare you disagree with me or not put on a smiley face on demand?

That may explain why I so often look at her and see Jim Bob in a dress. 😄

[Churchhoney]

10 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Spurge definitely seems like he's regressing. Pre-Ivy, Jessa posted quite a few videos of her doing educational things with him, but that seems to have gone by the wayside. 

Henry is starting to remind me of Chuck Cunningham. He's barely featured and mentioned so little, I'm not sure he still exists. I'm half expecting him to go to his room for a nap and never be heard from again.

Hey, she's got three kids! How can you possibly expect her to school the oldest ones and pay attention to all of them equivalently when there are so many of them and so many things she has to do for the littlest....?  

Oh, wait.....

[DangerousMinds]

1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

That may explain why I so often look at her and see Jim Bob in a dress. 😄

They do look a lot alike!

Spurge is looking more and more like Damian as time passes.

[GeeGolly]

Jessa probably sees herself in Ivy. Ivy is probably now the proud owner of Spurgeon's prize drill.

[Westiepeach]

44 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

Spurge is looking more and more like Damian as time passes.

OMG ~ YES!

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Jessa probably sees herself in Ivy. Ivy is probably now the proud owner of Spurgeon's prize drill.

Next up -- Henry's special little box of treasures. 😁

(Fictional. I have no knowledge of a Henry treasure box. 😈)

[Albanyguy]

Pickles is claiming that Ben has finished those mysterious "courses" he's allegedly been taking since forever and that he's now working as the pastor of an actual church. She doesn't know the name or location of the church and she doesn't offer any source beyond "I've been told that...", but she posted a photo of Jessa supposedly working in the church nursery. I always take Pickles with a huge grain of salt, especially since I can't believe that Jessa wouldn't be bragging about this like crazy. Anybody here know anything?

[ouinason]

She did redecorate A church nursery, we know that for a fact.  Other than that, gossip is gossip.  😎

[emmawoodhouse]

The church nursery could have been Jana's project, but Jessa is the one with YouTube. Laura DeMaisie was also there to help.

Mt big takeaway from that project was that Jessa found a home for that awful area rug she had in her living room for a couple of months.

[JoanArc]

Quote

Pickles is claiming that Ben has finished those mysterious "courses" he's allegedly been taking since forever and that he's now working as the pastor of an actual church.

Church of the Holy Tax Doge. Our lady of Diaper Montain.

[Nysha]

I'm pretty sure if Ben was pastoring a church or had any type of paying church leadership job Jessa would have plastered it all over social media by now. 

[GeeGolly]

2 minutes ago, Nysha said:

I'm pretty sure if Ben was pastoring a church or had any type of paying church leadership job Jessa would have plastered it all over social media by now. 

Yup. She'd have Ivy recite When is daddy getting home from preaching mama? And then just happen to film her saying it, while cooking Sunday brunch, explaining how they couldn't attend because Spurgie is sick.

*LiesofJessa

[emmawoodhouse]

Interesting little video. Stick around to see the destruction at the end. 

 

[auntieminem]

I don't pay much attention to Jessa's kid videos but it seems Spurge isn't crazy about having siblings or he is just pouty about whatever is going on.  Maybe Jessa should slow he baby train down so he doesn't have to keep adjusting to more kids. 

[crazy8s]

so Jessa slicked his hair down with gel and hid him in the bathroom until she was ready to film?

she must have read a lot of comments about how much better he looked without the clown mop on his head

Edited October 1, 2020 by crazy8s

[crazycatlady58]

So she watched him knock down the train track and did not say anything?  I don't think he should have a harsh punishment but something should have been said. 

[iwantcookies]

He looks like Sheldon from Young Sheldon. 

[BitterApple]

Wow, I'm surprised Jessa didn't say anything when Spurgeon stepped on Henry's toy. Maybe he's acting out because he's tired of being Mommy's show pony, but he's sliding into bratty territory.

Edited October 1, 2020 by BitterApple

[emmawoodhouse]

Yeah, stomping all over Henry's car track was uncalled for, and it seems that he got away with it. 

[crazy8s]

next thing you know, Henry will have to give the entire track to Spurge and ask forgiveness for being angry and annoyed. (or whatever the reason was for Jana having to give Jessa the jewelry box)

[latetotheparty]

1 hour ago, crazy8s said:

so Jessa slicked his hair down with gel and hid him in the bathroom until she was ready to film?

she must have read a lot of comments about how much better he looked without the clown mop on his head

Honestly, I think the slicked down look is just as bad. It looks like Marty McFly’s dad in Back to the Future. Henry has the best hair of the three of them. 

[farmgal4]

1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

Wow, I'm surprised Jessa didn't say anything when Spurgeon stepped on Henry's toy. Maybe he's acting out because he's tired of being Mommy's show pony, but he's sliding into bratty territory.

I think he loves being the show pony.  He actually poses for pictures, so he obviously likes the attention.  As for his hair, he’s never had a professional haircut.  That might make all the difference.

[farmgal4]

1 hour ago, crazycatlady58 said:

So she watched him knock down the train track and did not say anything?  I don't think he should have a harsh punishment but something should have been said. 

He definitely should’ve been punished.  That was a hateful brat move.

[Totally]

On 9/27/2020 at 11:28 PM, ginger90 said:

 

5 min turns... the thing I love about watching kids play, is how involved they get in their play. 5 mins doesn’t give a 2 year old (or any age)any time to get involved.

My kids were allowed to play with a toy for a good amount of time before switching. I was always able to manage to divert the child who’s turn it wasn’t, even my youngest with autism and outstanding meltdowns could be diverted 

Edited October 2, 2020 by Totally

[Totally]

On 9/28/2020 at 3:40 AM, BitterApple said:

I hope they don't adopt. Jessa isn't a very warm or accepting person, and I don't believe she could love an adopted kid on the same level as she does her bios.

I’m not sure she has the same depth of feelings for Henry that she seems to have for Spuge and Ivy 

[emmawoodhouse]

1 minute ago, Totally said:

I’m not sure she has the same depth of feelings for Henry that she seems to have for Spuge and Ivy 

Absolutely cosign. Poor little guy. ☹️

[Totally]

Jessa is making Smugger 2.0

[farmgal4]

10 minutes ago, Totally said:

I’m not sure she has the same depth of feelings for Henry that she seems to have for Spuge and Ivy 

I get the same feeling.

[SMama]

Spurgeon always seems ready for his close up. This time he was either annoyed or didn’t like his hair tamed. He was not mugging for the camera. I think the Godzilla like destruction of Henry’s track was a result of his displeasure.

Jessa did not handle the situation well. Put down your damn phone and deal with Spurgeon’s mean behavior.  Put Spurgeon on a time out. Then have him apologize to his brother, and rebuild the track for him.

I don’t know if it is her overwhelming need to rewrite history (blanket training), trying too hard to seem relatable (hits=$$), being clueless, or overwhelmed with three kids. Jessa is terrible at parenting. Allowing Ivy to “steal” the drill, going along with Spurgeon’s maybe it was Ivy who destroyed the track, then chuckling. She is definitely Michelle’s daughter. 

There’s been a lot of discussion about Jessa truly liking and loving her kids. She was a cold fish to her buddy group. I’m not convinced she is Mother Earth to her kids. Her SM presence is as curated as Jinger’s. The difference is Jessa’s angle is the fundy, country bumpkin, fit as many blessings as possible in a two bedroom home to appear resourceful mama.

[DangerousMinds]

1 hour ago, Totally said:

5 min turns... the thing I love about watching kids play, is how involved they get in their play. 5 mins doesn’t give a 2 year old (or any age)any time to get involved.

My kids were allowed to play with a toy for a good amount of time before switching. I was always able to manage to divert the child who’s turn it wasn’t, even my youngest with autism and outstanding meltdowns could be diverted 

Do they refer to the boys by both their first and middle names like that?

[iwantcookies]

I think Spurgeon will give himself a haircut soon enough. 

[Genevrier]

4 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Interesting little video. Stick around to see the destruction at the end. 

 

Why are we looking at Ivy’s nipples? Isn’t that immodest? 

[emmawoodhouse]

15 minutes ago, Genevrier said:

Why are we looking at Ivy’s nipples? Isn’t that immodest? 

It's defrauding some sicko pervert like Jessa's older brother. 

[Genevrier]

7 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

It's defrauding some sicko pervert like Jessa's older brother. 

Well, yeah. I just think I remember JB and M being very fussed about the bare knees of toddler Jordyn, or Josie, or someone, and that seemed to be standard Gothard cult mentality. Apparently it’s filled with perverts. I’m glad to see this generation being more normal. I think it’s worth noting that it is a change.

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, SMama said:

Spurgeon always seems ready for his close up. This time he was either annoyed or didn’t like his hair tamed. He was not mugging for the camera. I think the Godzilla like destruction of Henry’s track was a result of his displeasure.

Jessa did not handle the situation well. Put down your damn phone and deal with Spurgeon’s mean behavior.  Put Spurgeon on a time out. Then have him apologize to his brother, and rebuild the track for him.

I don’t know if it is her overwhelming need to rewrite history (blanket training), trying too hard to seem relatable (hits=$$), being clueless, or overwhelmed with three kids. Jessa is terrible at parenting. Allowing Ivy to “steal” the drill, going along with Spurgeon’s maybe it was Ivy who destroyed the track, then chuckling. She is definitely Michelle’s daughter. 

There’s been a lot of discussion about Jessa truly liking and loving her kids. She was a cold fish to her buddy group. I’m not convinced she is Mother Earth to her kids. Her SM presence is as curated as Jinger’s. The difference is Jessa’s angle is the fundy, country bumpkin, fit as many blessings as possible in a two bedroom home to appear resourceful mama.

And in fact what she did instead, to my eyes anyway, was kind of taunt Henry. First words out of her mouth were "How do you know it was Spurgeon?" in some sort of jokey tone (I thought).

And of course she knew it was Spurge, and she knew Henry knew it was Spurge, since it happened 8 inches in front of his face. I don't see how a kid wouldn't feel that as a taunt and as rebuff of their feelings. Especially since she didn't at the very least say immediately to Spurgeon that wrecking other people's stuff because you're feeling grumpy is not something that we do. 

Henry gets insulted for no reason and Spurge's misdirected angry action doesn't even get a conversation.

And that smacks to me of habitual behavior on her part. Not something that happened in the heat of a moment but just a careless way in which she probably treats things ordinarily.

Although it doesn't surprise me that she'd be this way. I don't credit her with empathy or thoughtfulness or particularly good values. They're mostly a bunch of parrots and they certainly didn't see any strong sense of values in their parents except for Nike Nike Nike and such shite.

 

 

Edited October 2, 2020 by Churchhoney

[auntieminem]

I don't know why but I went to look at the comments on youtube and she said they walk on the tracks all the time and it hold but the way it was built with no support or something it broke. Yeah ok. So everyone was happy. So instead of yapping about how did he know it was Spurge haha, she could have handled it better and just helped them fix it. But Spurge was too busy walking on the rest of the track. Or she could have still continued to handle it light heartedly  but still acknowledge Henry and helped him fix it. But I never had kids so I am no expert.

 

[Zella]

2 hours ago, SMama said:

There’s been a lot of discussion about Jessa truly liking and loving her kids. She was a cold fish to her buddy group. I’m not convinced she is Mother Earth to her kids. Her SM presence is as curated as Jinger’s. The difference is Jessa’s angle is the fundy, country bumpkin, fit as many blessings as possible in a two bedroom home to appear resourceful mama.

Yes, I agree. I think Jessa is someone who knows the daily grind tasks that need to be done--she knows you have to feed them, clothe them, etc. And she can manage that, with varying degrees of success (housekeeping doesn't seem to be her forte at all).

But I don't think she has a personality that naturally bonds with children. I've only watched 2 episodes of the show, and the only one that featured any real contact with the kids is the one in which she and Ben went on a trip to see old friends. I think Jessa approaches life as a checklist. And I don't inherently mean that as a criticism. I do too.

She can check off her little boxes about the kids being in the car and having toys to occupy themselves and having a strategy for not dressing them in nice clothes until the end of the trip, and that's perfectly pragmatic and not at all a bad idea. I'll give her some points for having a strategy and the organization skills to carry it out. The rest of the family doesn't seem to have any planning or organizational skills at all. But Jessa seems to think this makes her mother of the year and more clever than most other women. But of course she isn't, and being able to do that doesn't mean she is being a good parent to her child when it comes to teaching her children to be good people or raising them to be emotionally healthy people. 

I'd venture to say that Jessa will also really struggle as her children develop their own personalities. I think Spurgeon gets the spotlight because he seems to respond to the spotlight in a way that she finds pleasing. Henry apparently doesn't, so he is shuffled off into middle child hell. Ivy probably gets some benefit of the doubt right now, but as she starts to exert more of a personality, if it's not what Jessa wants, I could see her also getting treated more like Henry. Especially as more children are added to the brood. I think the ones who are more extroverted and pliable and performative will get the #SayingsofSpurgeon treatment, and the others will be comparatively ignored because they're not getting Mama clicks on social media. 

If I remember correctly, a lot of that discussion about Jessa seeming to be a natural mother often occurred within the context of comparing her to Jill, who at the time was noticeably very different in her behavior toward Izzy versus how she treated Sam. It was pretty clear that Izzy was the Unfavorite. That doesn't seem to be as obvious in what Jill posts now. I am hoping that's because Jill and Derick have both recognized that was a problem and have improved their behavior toward him but maybe they've just learned not to post those moments. But without that extremely unflattering context, I am not sure Jessa ever really seemed to be a truly loving and engaged mother. 

I don't like Jessa--I find her personality really grating--but I do think she is just mimicking what she observed growing up. I'm sure compared to her own emotionally distant mom just passing them all off on siblings, she does think she is a very engaged, wonderful mother, and the whole whoring one's family out for media attention is something else she also learned at home. How she was raised is not her fault (nor is it her fault that she has very dysfunctional views of what is "normal" because of it), but it is her fault that as an adult she shows no signs of developing any critical awareness of that and that she is inflicting that on her own children. 

[Nysha]

She was raised with a chore chart to check off for herself and her buddies. She's just continuing that habit into her adult life.

Spurgeon did not look at all happy with the new hairstyle. It looked like he stomped on the track in anger, but even if he accidentally knocked it apart Jessa needed to put the phone down and help him rebuild it for Henry.

I'm jumping on the "stop filming your kids" train. It's such an invasion of their little lives. If you're not interesting enough to become a social media influencer w/o filming your kids, then you need to find something else as an income source. I know this was how Jessa was raised and she's probably buried any resentment for it very deep, but it's not fair for her kids to be the second generation of exploited Duggars.

[Totally]

I really wish Jessa would give up the Spurgeon curly hair crap, it’s not curly .. you’re just forcing it to try and be curly. Brush that kids hair and it’s going straight 

[GeeGolly]

Remember when Ben shaved his beard and mustache and they thought the kids wouldn't recognize him? I haven't rewatched the video, but I thought the comment questioning who broke the track was because Spurge looked so different, Jessa was teasing Henry that Spurge wasn't Spurge.

I wonder if Jessa pulled Spurge from playing with the track to do his hair and Henry took over, because that was a brat move by Spurge.

If Jessa didn't have the TTH to hang at every day, there's no doubt in my mind Spurgie would be in nursery school a couple days a week. 

[Churchhoney]

4 hours ago, Nysha said:

 

I'm jumping on the "stop filming your kids" train. It's such an invasion of their little lives. If you're not interesting enough to become a social media influencer w/o filming your kids, then you need to find something else as an income source. I know this was how Jessa was raised and she's probably buried any resentment for it very deep, but it's not fair for her kids to be the second generation of exploited Duggars.

Exactly. I can't imagine why you would even shoot that video, let alone post it to millions of viewers. But she's doing what she was raised to do. And her mother has multiple "mother-of-the-year" awards. So .... As a Duggarling, you ought to be rethinking a lot of things that come naturally to you, seems to me. But there's no particular reason she'd think of doing that, unfortunately.

Edited October 2, 2020 by Churchhoney

[Churchhoney]

9 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Remember when Ben shaved his beard and mustache and they thought the kids wouldn't recognize him? I haven't rewatched the video, but I thought the comment questioning who broke the track was because Spurge looked so different, Jessa was teasing Henry that Spurge wasn't Spurge.

I wonder if Jessa pulled Spurge from playing with the track to do his hair and Henry took over, because that was a brat move by Spurge.

If Jessa didn't have the TTH to hang at every day, there's no doubt in my mind Spurgie would be in nursery school a couple days a week. 

Wow, she is so fixated on Spurge's curls!

You're right. That's exactly why she made that remark to Henry. And just the way that went right over my head, I'm sure it went right over Henry's. He knew who knocked the track down. But he didn't know why she was saying that.

She really needs to get her mind off of Spurge's hair. Yeesh.

Edited October 2, 2020 by Churchhoney

[GeeGolly]

4 hours ago, Nysha said:

She was raised with a chore chart to check off for herself and her buddies. She's just continuing that habit into her adult life.

Spurgeon did not look at all happy with the new hairstyle. It looked like he stomped on the track in anger, but even if he accidentally knocked it apart Jessa needed to put the phone down and help him rebuild it for Henry.

I'm jumping on the "stop filming your kids" train. It's such an invasion of their little lives. If you're not interesting enough to become a social media influencer w/o filming your kids, then you need to find something else as an income source. I know this was how Jessa was raised and she's probably buried any resentment for it very deep, but it's not fair for her kids to be the second generation of exploited Duggars.

You're so right. These mommy vloggers all use their kids to make money. I swear some even have more kids (or adopt like that mom who 'rehomed' her adoptee), to gain more followers. And Jessa was one of those kids and now she's the mom.

[Madtown]

All I see in Spurge with his hair slicked back is JimBoob with his hair slicked like that. I also think Spurge may need to go to school more than Izzy did.

[FizzyPuff]

14 hours ago, Totally said:

I’m not sure she has the same depth of feelings for Henry that she seems to have for Spuge and Ivy 

Which is weird considering he was her easiest birth, no rush to the hospital where she nearly bled to death. Is that why she resents him? 

[rue721]

To be fair, Henry didn't seem at all upset about the track. He was playing with some other toy and didn't even seem to notice.

And Jessa was trying to make the "OMG Sperge looks so different!" thing happen, but Spergeon actually didn't look that different and none of the kids wanted to play along. I mean, he probably looks exactly that way when his hair is wet, I don't know what the big joke is supposed to be anyhow. It only seemed interesting to Jessa because she's obsessed with his curls for some reason.

And I agree with everyone else, my hair is curlier than Spergeon's and it still looks relatively straight when wet and combed out. I think Jessa has low hygiene standards and doesn't wash the kids (or their hair) enough and it's starting to show on Sperge because he doesn't have that feathery/fluffy baby hair and velvety baby skin anymore. She pretends that he's "keeping his curls" when really, his hair is just a rats' nest and his face is greasy.

The haircut is fine, although in my opinion a bit long on top (it gets in his eyes) -- but at this point, I think she needs to just wash and brush his hair a lot more often and stop fixating on how to coax every bit of "curliness" out of his head, ffs. He would look a lot better and probably FEEL a lot better if his hair were clean and a bit wavy, rather than a weird knot of dirty "curly" hair it usually is now.

[Tasya]

She edited the video, it now stops while Spurgeon is walking over to Henry.