Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Churchhoney]

12 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

I read the sermon and I have to say that his ideas are 180 degrees opposite of mine. That having been said, though, I think he's no closer to the Duggars than he is to me.

This is a man who thinks. He has a reasoned world view based on scholarship and thought. This isn't a guy who has kind of half-read a few wisdom booklets. This is a man who cares about his children and is invested in their lives. This isn't a man who makes an appointment to spend 30 minutes each month with each child.

Yeah, I completely agree. But in fact, in that sense I don't think Bill Gothard is really like the Duggars either. T

he Duggars are just idiots parroting stuff they don't understand because it gives them permission to do things their ids want to do.

In the sense that Voddie B would whack a kid all day for being shy, and so would the Duggars, at least once upon a time, no doubt, they're similar. But in the way that Voddie B and the Duggars arrived at the idea to do that -- not similar at all, of course. 

I was unclear, though. None of these guys is a Duggar person. They're Der and Bin people. And Voddie B is actually just a Bin person. And I assume he's in Bin's orbit because he's a Vision Forum guy, as the Seewalds were at one point. 

Edited November 8, 2017 by Churchhoney

[doodlebug]

20 hours ago, SMama said:

Congratulations on the upcoming grandchild. I was born a leftie, but back in the dark ages in Catholic school they’d beat it out of you. Literally, wooden ruler to the hand when I used my left hand. It’s left me with some deficits as an adult, but not much I can do about it. People find it funny that I wear my watch on my right wrist though. 

I guess I was lucky, way back in the 60's when I attended Catholic grade school, the nuns never tried to convert me to a righty.  They had me slant the paper the other way when I wrote, but that was it.  This was a very good thing because I am very dominantly left handed, I cannot do anything with my right hand.  And, I might add, I have excellent handwriting to this day; people often comment on it since my profession is not known for penmanship.

During my second year of residency, there was a general surgeon I worked with, an otherwise wonderful guy, who thought it would be a great idea if I worked on becoming ambidextrous in the OR.  I saw the advantages of it, but I really cannot use my right hand all that well.  He used to make me close incisions right handed to practice.  He had a private scrub nurse who was lactating at the time who would give him grief, telling him I took too long and she needed to pump.  Got me off the hook more than a couple times.  As soon as I was done with his service, I stopped trying to pretend I could sew right handed.

Edited November 8, 2017 by doodlebug

[queenanne]

45 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

Yeah, I completely agree. But in fact, in that sense I don't think Bill Gothard is really like the Duggars either. T

he Duggars are just idiots parroting stuff they don't understand because it gives them permission to do things their ids want to do.

In the sense that Voddie B would whack a kid all day for being shy, and so would the Duggars, at least once upon a time, no doubt, they're similar. But in the way that Voddie B and the Duggars arrived at the idea to do that -- not similar at all, of course. 

I was unclear, though. None of these guys is a Duggar person. They're Der and Bin people. And Voddie B is actually just a Bin person. And I assume he's in Bin's orbit because he's a Vision Forum guy, as the Seewalds were at one point. 

Yeah, shy kids are anathema because they’re not proselytizing.  Susan Cain’s book ‘Quiet’, even has a chapter set partially at the NJ Saddleback Church discussing the difficulties of being an introverted Christian.

[toodles]

15 hours ago, ariel said:

I think on your birthday at the place they go, you get the messy dessert for free.  I'm surprised the Duggars with all the birthdays they have, haven't put that place out of  business. I doubt they tip well. 

They must not have a Denny's close by.  Otherwise we would see them invade them for their free birthday meal.

[Lunera]

4 minutes ago, toodles said:

They must not have a Denny's close by.  Otherwise we would see them invade them for their free birthday meal.

I'm thinking, maybe many places have banned them or changed their policy. (maybe only 5 members of the same family a year) I heard some restaurants in their town changed their 'children eat free' policy because of the Duggars. They still dress up and go to Chic-fil-a and Dunkin' donuts for free food, though. 

[ChiCricket]

12 minutes ago, toodles said:

They must not have a Denny's close by.  Otherwise we would see them invade them for their free birthday meal.

I think they've made it where you have to sign up ahead of time, and be at least 18.

[truebluesmoky]

Did you see this retweet of Ben’s that Pickles has up on her Facebook? I am pro-choice, but I can at least stomach religious pro-life people who put their money where their mouthes are, in terms of supporting pregnant mothers and children once they’re born. In general, I don’t think Ben gets enough credit when he gets lumped in with Derick and Austin. Ben clearly lets Jessa run the show. He is not a “strict head of household” and she does not defer to him. He also likes Christian rap, has real non-Gothard friends, has friends of color, and seems to care about inner city kids. I’m not saying give the guy a medal, but I think Derick and Austin really do run the show in their marriages and see themselves as the lordship over their wives and children. I think Ben is super religious and super naive, but I think he cares more about his perception of the greater good of the world than D and A, who care about their egos.

Also, Jessa tagged that Marketplace Grill restaurant in an Instagram post, and they offer TWO free kids meals per one adult meal ordered, so I’m sure that’s why the Duggars started going all the time in the first place. They are all about freebies.

Edited November 9, 2017 by truebluesmoky

[DangerousMinds]

"Sex ethics" though?

[drafan]

23 hours ago, awaken said:

I hate that it's called chocolate mess. Gross name for a birthday treat. 

I think that's why Spurgie didn't want to touch it.

22 hours ago, ariel said:

I think on your birthday at the place they go, you get the messy dessert for free.  I'm surprised the Duggars with all the birthdays they have, haven't put that place out of  business. I doubt they tip well. 

In that video, you can hear the waitstaff person say "I'll put in your birthday discount". ((Something like that.)) Of course they had to remind her.

Edited November 9, 2017 by drafan

[Genevrier]

On 11/7/2017 at 0:16 PM, SMama said:

Looks like Spurgeon is a leftie just like his aunt Jinger.

Yes, but it is too early to be sure. A lot of children switch back and forth for a while. For instance, when I was two (a couple of centuries ago) my parents were absolutely certain that I was a leftie like my father. In fact, I am strongly right-handed. 

[SMama]

True, IIRC from my first born three years old seems to be the age when hand preference settles. 

[Genevrier]

On 11/7/2017 at 4:30 PM, Jynnan tonnix said:

Thanks :) Yeah, they beat it out of my dad as well. He did eventually end up writing with his right hand, and was fairly ambidextrous overall, but tended to default to his left for a lot of more fiddly work. 

My father was in elementary school in the 1930’s and they made every effort to force him rightie, but they could not do it. They did manage to confuse his brain to the point that he developed a stammer that he still has today. Ah, the good old days. ?

[Sew Sumi]

LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY 

Come on Spurgie, join the dark side. :D

[andromeda331]

My mom, brother and I are all lefties. Dad's the only righty. One of Mom's teachers force her to switch to the right. Lucky for my mom she told her mother when she got home from school and was pissed. Marched right on down to the school and went off on the teacher. There wasn't a damn thing wrong with her daughter using her left hand and if she ever did it again, the teacher would be seeing her again and she really wouldn't like the outcome. The teacher never said a word about it again she said very little to my mom the rest of the year.  My mom says the teacher was probably relieved when they moved a couple years later.

[Zuleikha]

That's the second tweet that's been brought here where Ben is critical of Trump. That gives me hope for him. He's young and he's been raised in a very sheltered way, but he's clearly doing some thinking for himself. That type of thing can become a habit. Maybe it will even lead to birth control.

I know it's hard to know what goes on in private, but I don't think Jessa and Ben are abusing the kids. They seem to really love them, and the kids seem pretty happy. It's part of why I would like Ben and Jessa to rethink letting G-d determine their family size. If they space things out or stop at 2 or 3, I think they could be okay. 

[Churchhoney]

10 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY 

Come on Spurgie, join the dark side. :D

I want him to join the dark side, too. But I'll just say that I'm a rightie, and I'm without any question the chief family rebel (the rebel in pretty much every situation I've ever been in, actually) and also the creative one. So whatever his handedness turns out to be, there will still be hope. 

Edited November 9, 2017 by Churchhoney

[Arwen Evenstar]

I remember in a TH, Jessa once said that she would “raise her children very differently” from the way she was raised.  She said it nicely enough for the cameras, but hopefully it was a big FU to blanket training, food scarcity, and the lack of a proper  education.

[Churchhoney]

9 hours ago, Zuleikha said:

That's the second tweet that's been brought here where Ben is critical of Trump. That gives me hope for him. He's young and he's been raised in a very sheltered way, but he's clearly doing some thinking for himself. That type of thing can become a habit. Maybe it will even lead to birth control.

I know it's hard to know what goes on in private, but I don't think Jessa and Ben are abusing the kids. They seem to really love them, and the kids seem pretty happy. It's part of why I would like Ben and Jessa to rethink letting G-d determine their family size. If they space things out or stop at 2 or 3, I think they could be okay. 

I expect that at least most if not all the female Duggarlings will ease up on the baby production to some degree. Most if not all of them will not have a nut like Jim Bob insisting on it. And that's a big difference.

What Austin is is uncertain, but Der and Jer don't come from have-a-million-kids cult and Bin only kind of does.

And Meechelle was also nuts enough -- and had no experience of a life in a house with a billion kids to scare her off it initially. And while I think all the girls probably have some fairly major issues, it's probably unlikely that any of them is just flat-out nuts in the way Meeechelle is. 

[Pinke]

On 07/11/2017 at 11:02 PM, ariel said:

I think on your birthday at the place they go, you get the messy dessert for free.  I'm surprised the Duggars with all the birthdays they have, haven't put that place out of  business. I doubt they tip well. 

If they tip at all, that is.

[ChiCricket]

5 minutes ago, PinkyCupcake said:

If they tip at all, that is.

Probably with a religious tract. I stopped going out to breakfast with my sister because that's ALL she would tip. I always stayed behind and left a good tip. So embarrassing.

[zoomama]

i am on the lefty train, as  well!

[Fuzzysox]

I am just stopping by to see if Benessa is pregnant again. Seems to be in the water all these fundie girls pregnant and due next year.

[Pinke]

12 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

Probably with a religious tract. I stopped going out to breakfast with my sister because that's ALL she would tip. I always stayed behind and left a good tip. So embarrassing.

Yeah, I also had that thought as I was writing my original post lol.

Team southpaw here too! Both of my parents are right-handed, but my paternal grandfather was a lefty. Skipped a generation.

[floridamom]

Absolutely no reason that a person can't leave a religious tract AND A CASH TIP to a server. They work hard and most likely already know about The Lord. People like the Duggars are assuming incorrectly that their server is a heathen. My son is a server and he already knows the Lord. He told me he received some of those tracts instead of a cash/charge tip and it lets him down. That tract can't pay for his electric bill that he's working to pay. They're just CHEAP...hiding behind God .

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 hour ago, floridamom said:

They're just CHEAP...hiding behind God .

THIS! So much THIS!

[wilsie]

Giving out tracts is just another hypocritical thing the Duggars do.   No way would they being taking tracts from TLC or suing for a millions tracts instead of money.  

[awaken]

I'm sure they think that the value received from getting to know the lord through a tract provides so much more lasting benefit than cash! Treasures in heaven, and all that. And needing to work to pay for rent and food is a foreign concept in their world. 

[sometimesy]

@floridamom I agree they can tip $ along with the tract. The servers here tip the back of house (cooks and such) and front of house (bartenders and hostesses) a certain percentage of the servers overall sales. If the server doesn't get any tip, it will cost her money to serve that customer since she still has to tip out those other staff from that sale. It would be a real kick in the groin to serve someone like the Duggs and get a tract. 

[Spencer Hastings]

I always felt like those tracts were doing more harm than good.  If the server is a true heathen, a tract will absolutely not bring them to the Lord when they are furious about Christians stiffing them on a tip. 

[floridamom]

Thanks for the "likes" guys on my earlier post. Another observation about these tracks instead of tips....yes, I understand their 'reasoning' is that a tract can bring someone to the Lord and have lasting rewards in heaven, but didn't Jesus FEED THE PEOPLE with loaves and fishes after preaching to them?.. Was it The Sermon on the Mound?

Also, this family was concerned about eating and their finances as they begged all those companies for soup and other donations....it was THEIR OWN corporal needs they were begging others for, wasn't it?

[Jynnan tonnix]

1 hour ago, Spencer Hastings said:

I always felt like those tracts were doing more harm than good.  If the server is a true heathen, a tract will absolutely not bring them to the Lord when they are furious about Christians stiffing them on a tip. 

Especially those tracts that are disguised as $20 bills and such. My son got a few of those during his years as a server.

Speaking of him, he's due back home from his Marine Officer school for a long weekend...driving up overnight from Quantico to Connecticut, and I was expecting him to be here by now. Hope everything is OK...

Edited to add: just talked to him. He ended up taking a short nap before he left, and should be back in a couple of hours. Guess I'm just being a worrywart mom.

Edited November 10, 2017 by Jynnan tonnix

[Churchhoney]

4 hours ago, floridamom said:

Thanks for the "likes" guys on my earlier post. Another observation about these tracks instead of tips....yes, I understand their 'reasoning' is that a tract can bring someone to the Lord and have lasting rewards in heaven, but didn't Jesus FEED THE PEOPLE with loaves and fishes after preaching to them?.. Was it The Sermon on the Mound?

Also, this family was concerned about eating and their finances as they begged all those companies for soup and other donations....it was THEIR OWN corporal needs they were begging others for, wasn't it?

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar live 10,000 percent in the service of their own narcissistic egos. Other people, including their own children, don't even exist to them as anything real. I swear. Anything they say about God they say only because they see it as completely redounding to their own credit. 

I only hope that the kids -- who certainly have imbibed this -- haven't been completely poisoned by it and gradually pick up another way of being.

[SMama]

@Jynnan tonnix, we never stop worrying about our children. He has quite a drive, it’s understandable to become concerned. I wish my bio mother gave a shit as to whether I’m alive. 

[doodlebug]

5 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Especially those tracts that are disguised as $20 bills and such. My son got a few of those during his years as a server.

Speaking of him, he's due back home from his Marine Officer school for a long weekend...driving up overnight from Quantico to Connecticut, and I was expecting him to be here by now. Hope everything is OK...

Edited to add: just talked to him. He ended up taking a short nap before he left, and should be back in a couple of hours. Guess I'm just being a worrywart mom.

Nope, you're just being a mom.

[floridamom]

SMama: You broke my heart with your post. I'm so sorry for you. I hope you receive a lot of love from other good relationships in your life.

[SMama]

My husband and daughter are my life, my rock. Thanks for your concern. Thankfully I had my Papi for 10 years, and Mami for 16. I will forever cherish the unconditional love they provided. 

[Love2dance]

18 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Speaking of him, he's due back home from his Marine Officer school for a long weekend...driving up overnight from Quantico to Connecticut, and I was expecting him to be here by now. Hope everything is OK...

Edited to add: just talked to him. He ended up taking a short nap before he left, and should be back in a couple of hours. Guess I'm just being a worrywart mom.

I think it is normal for some of us, and it only multiplies. I not only worry when my kids are driving, but now I worry about the grandkids, too. And if Mr. Dance recently drove away, or is expected home soon, and I hear sirens nearby, I am anxious until I know it wasn’t for him. I wish I was less of a worrier.

Glad you were able to talk to your son for reassurance.

[queenanne]

My grandmother insists upon knowing when we are due to fly anywhere, down to the precise minute, and once got mad at her son, my father, for not telling her when our plane had changed by something minuscule, like less than two hours' duration (and it's not like anyone would tell her the exact instant we landed, or anything).  She eventually revealed to my father that it is because she - hold onto your hats - "flies with us", when we take airplanes. 

Trying hard to imagine what this might look like, I asked, "Does she flap her arms the whole time our planes are aloft, or something?  Hoping to keep us up there by sheer willpower?  Because whatever it is, it sounds more exhausting than endearing, and if you can figure out a tactful way to release her from this obligation in respect of me, feel free to go ahead and do it."  I mean, maybe I am a bad family member, but it never occurred to me in a million years to worry about what happens when any family member flies anywhere.  I always assume I'll hear from them by about 12 hours after the process, and that any aviation disaster would be well and truly preceded in the notification by a tear-and-drama-filled news segment...  I have worried about loved ones driving on New Year's Eve, and similar, I grant.

Edited November 11, 2017 by queenanne

[SMama]

I actually think it's very cute, her wanting to "go along" with you, not the nagging. Depending on how old she is you can get her a cell phone, and download the flight tracking app. I'm sure they have them for tablets as well. SDaughter and I have flown only once without SBaba, who did not sleep until we landed safely. It was a red eye fight from LAX to Puerto Rico with a lay over in Atlanta. I'm sure he was tired AF at work the next day. 

Edited November 11, 2017 by SMama

[jennblevins]

Flight Aware's website should work on a desktop, phone, or tablet (both for tracking flights, and for what I use it for, figuring out what's flying over my office). 

On an actual Duggar-related note, I was watching Fixer Upper while I ate lunch, and Chip launches into a very Duggar-esque speech: "Most people [do something], but we do [something else] that's just so much better ."  Yet another reason Jessa likes them, no doubt. 

Edited November 11, 2017 by jennblevins
For crying out loud, his name's not "Chop."

[Love2dance]

2 hours ago, queenanne said:

My grandmother insists upon knowing when we are due to fly anywhere, down to the precise minute, and once got mad at her son, my father, for not telling her when our plane had changed by something minuscule, like less than two hours' duration (and it's not like anyone would tell her the exact instant we landed, or anything).  She eventually revealed to my father that it is because she - hold onto your hats - "flies with us", when we take airplanes. 

Trying hard to imagine what this might look like, I asked, "Does she flap her arms the whole time our planes are aloft, or something?  Hoping to keep us up there by sheer willpower?  Because whatever it is, it sounds more exhausting than endearing, and if you can figure out a tactful way to release her from this obligation in respect of me, feel free to go ahead and do it."  I mean, maybe I am a bad family member, but it never occurred to me in a million years to worry about what happens when any family member flies anywhere.  I always assume I'll hear from them by about 12 hours after the process, and that any aviation disaster would be well and truly preceded in the notification by a tear-and-drama-filled news segment...  I have worried about loved ones driving on New Year's Eve, and similar, I grant.

I’m twice as guilty as your grandma. I stalk FlightAware.com and I know when any close family member is delayed or on the plane and when the plane has landed. But no one needs to inform me, ‘cause I already know. ?

[SMama]

18 minutes ago, jennblevins said:

 (... and for what I use it for, figuring out what's flying over my office). 

 

I can't resist, there's a story there @jennblevins. Care to share?

Oh yeah Jessa is determined by hook or by crook to "run" into the Gaines couple. They will become instant BFFs and they will mentor her into her own business. She has been to Waco how many times already?

[DangerousMinds]

I doubt they have ANY interest in her.

[jennblevins]

41 minutes ago, SMama said:

I can't resist, there's a story there @jennblevins. Care to share?

It's fairly dull, I'm afraid. The tiny little sliver of a window view that I have at my desk includes the roof of a hotel and a patch of sky that's on the flight path for planes taking off and landing at the nearby airport, which is next to a Boeing facility.  So we occasionally get planes for airlines I don't recognize, giant cargo planes, etc. along with the all the little private planes. Thankfully we're nowhere near the Duggars, so I doubt I have to worry about seeing their plane. Air Force One has landed there, but it was before I started at that office -- though I did see a Super Guppy from the previous office, which was near a different airport. 

I suspect any avgeeks out there may have narrowed down my office location to a few options now ...

Edited November 11, 2017 by jennblevins
Clarification

[Maharincess]

23 hours ago, Love2dance said:

I think it is normal for some of us, and it only multiplies. I not only worry when my kids are driving, but now I worry about the grandkids, too. And if Mr. Dance recently drove away, or is expected home soon, and I hear sirens nearby, I am anxious until I know it wasn’t for him. I wish I was less of a worrier.

Glad you were able to talk to your son for reassurance.

This is so me. I love the rain but I can't relax when it rains until I text my kids and know they're safe in their homes and not out driving. They're 33 and 31 and every time they leave my house I tell them to call me when they get home. I'm the same way you are with the sirens too, if my husband is due home from work (or just left the house) and I hear sirens, I panic until I hear from him.  Now my granddaughter is in school and I'm worried about her being picked on etc.  The worry never stops. 

Edited November 12, 2017 by Maharincess

[Catfin]

1 hour ago, Maharincess said:

This is so me. I love the rain but I can't relax when it rains until I text my kids and know they're safe in their homes and not out driving. They're 33 and 31 and every time they leave my house I tell them to call me when they get home. I'm the same way you are with the sirens too, if my husband is due home from work (or just left the house) and I hear sirens, I panic until I hear from him.  Now my granddaughter is in school and I'm worried about her being picked on etc.  The worry never stops. 

This is where I confess to "creeping" my daughter on the Find My Friends app last night. It was snowing and she drove her pals to a hockey game.  All was fine. ❤️

When DH was a patrol officer, I would watch the local Police Clips for updates of his area. I had to stop that as it was nerve wracking. 

[lookeyloo]

Funny enough - I was the worrier in the family when the grown sons were out and about.  Now, we live closer to one of them and he always says "text when you get home" and if I forget he calls to check.  We are not feeble, but I think he takes it upon himself to worry about us.  Cute.

[Abstract]

Well, if Jessa is pregnant as some suspect, this would be the perfect time to announce to distract from the Derick news.

[Catfin]

On 11/8/2017 at 10:39 PM, Sew Sumi said:

LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY LEFTY 

Come on Spurgie, join the dark side. :D

I broke my left wrist at Kindergarten orientation, thus ending my left handed ness due to weeks in a cast in the early 70's.  I was young so my brain mostly re-wired. 

[Marigold]

Ben has been very quiet on social media lately and Jessa is SUPER posting the kids and her Mom Slob Life.  Now we know why. Jessa and Ben are petrified of losing their TLC income and are playing nicely. Ben was not as social media savvy initially as the genetic Duggars and originally thought he could post little video rants and pretend to be a preacher star! 

Ben has realized he is 21 with 2 kids, sketchy education and married to Jessa who has a poor education & no job skills.  Ben has cracked the code of the TLC money train. Filming is much easier than cleaning toilets.