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Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House


Message added by Scarlett45

The Duggars post about politics on social media frequently, but these social media posts are not an invitation to discuss politics here in this forum. This rule extends to Duggar adjacent families, friends, associates etc. Such discussions are a violation of the Politics Policy. 

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss certain social media postings of those in the Duggar realm as they relate to politics- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

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14 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

But instead of ripping off these sheets and throwing them in the washer, she spent quite a bit of time carefully photographing all this stuff and writing an essay about it and posting it for all the world to see ... in what's obviously intended to be a piece of entertaining and inspirational positive PR for the Duggar-Seewald brand. 

With the diaper mountain, the sheets and her clear opinion that the photo-essay would score PR points and provide spiritual guidance to the public, I count three absolutely baffling lapses in judgment in this little adventure. All of this screams to me that, despite what sometimes seems a deserved reputation as maybe the smartest older Duggarling, she has no common sense whatsoever. I truly wonder whether anybody else, ever, has published a set of photographs like that in the expectation that it would enhance their public reputation and educate people about how to raise children. And it seems to me that that's really what she thinks. Amazing. 

Yes. She's smart enough to know that self-deprecating humor about being imperfect plays well to audiences, but lacks the common sense to understand that are levels to this stuff, and piles of dirty diapers and sleeping on dirty sheets are repulsive, not relatably messy. 

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She has no sense, let alone common sense. And I have decided that common sense isn't so common in this country.

Urine soaked diapers start to smell even an hour after you change them. She's fairly demented if she thinks those posts were in any way positive.

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I'm single and childless so I cannot comment on two kids under two, but when I was younger I did babysit and every single time I would put the dirty diaper in the Diaper Genie or throw it away in a place the parents had. I would never think about putting dirty diapers on a dresser to be tossed later. Just the thought of the smell.  I'm not an OCD housekeeper but I try to keep things half-way clean.  A couple of weeks ago I noticed the tops of my picture frames hadn't been dusted in a LONG time. So I took a few minutes and went around dusting the tops of the picture frames.   After Jessa posted this I realized my a/c vent needed dusting as well, so thanks for the public service notification Jessa.  Dishes, I may not do every single day, but like I said I'm single, so my dishes don't stack up. When I have company I either wash the dishes or put them in the dishwasher. I'm not letting Ben off the hook either because he should be able to help out.  Either do some cleaning while Jessa is with the kids.  In the alternative, we know he does play with the kids so maybe Jessa should do some cleaning rather than recording Ben playing with the kiddos.  Spurge's artwork or the fingerprints or the toys on the floor don't bother me at all 'cause that's what happens when you have kids in the house. 

Edited by Lisa418722
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Quote

I have a 2-year-old and a job and a husband who is a bit of a hoarder, so my house is often messy. There are toys on the floor and sometimes furniture is dusty and laundry doesn't get folded right away and sometimes I don't wipe down my stovetop after I make dinner. I recognize some people might find that unacceptable, and I guess I just don't care.

My sister from another mister!  Bless you.  The attention span of a todder doesn't always include being a quicker picker upper.    

It's too bad that Jessa can't take the critical comments.  If she's even moving in the way wanting to be some sort of high regarded example of Christian Motherhood Supreme Blogger or SM figure then she needs to pull up on the lady britches and soldier onward.  I can't imagine whatever following she's looking for would really give her a pass on all the household hijinks.   This is where their upbringing fails also, they are so afraid or so disdaining of us heathen types that she is missing opportunities to actually learn even a few helpful household tips or life in general.  Word to her - you can live somewhat disorganized but still be fairly clean.  

And where the hell is Bin in all this?  Dude can fill up a garbage bag with diapers. 

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11 hours ago, sometimesy said:

OK, so I just read the blurb that came with the pics. I was thinking the house was messy, as in some things (like the sheets), just happened, and some things are weekly chores ho hum, (I was really confused by the diapers), but overall I thought it was a before/after type post...  But holy shit! She slept in the bed with dirty sheets! Some other things have been left for MONTHS! Oh no no no no. Nope! 

Props for having sheets and caring for the your own kids I guess, but Jessa, you get ALL the jurisdictions until you can: pay someone, lure the lost girls, raise a daughter work force. 

Exactly. This is (one of the reasons) why people don't have eleventy-million children. It's a lot of work taking care of a house with a bunch of tiny kids crawling around. If there isn't enough time to clean her house and sing songs and read stories and wipe noses now, what's it going to be like when there are 5 or 10?

It occurred to me that this might be an argument between Jessa and Ben. Ben saying the house is too dirty, and Jessa saying that she's prioritizing mommying over housewife tasks. Then she posts the photos so that all of her humper followers can tell her what a great job she's doing, and all Hell breaks loose. If that's how she grew up, and she has essentially never been to anyone else's house, how would she even know that it's abnormal? If it was an argument, she lost, and I don't think she handles that sort of thing well.

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13 hours ago, Janarella said:

By age 18, Jessa had done two lifetime's worth of house chores and raised her buddy team since infancy. I'm not sure she's lazy so much as she's run out of fucks to give. Remember: Spurgeon and Henry aren't her first two children. She's been a stay-at-home mom since she was a child herself. 

I agree and I am no housekeeper myself. However, in her position I would use some of my $$ for a housekeeper, and I would NEVER share my filth on SM.

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1 hour ago, Mojitogirl said:

She posted a follow up sort of backtracking and explaining. It still doesn’t make any sense. 

However, I get the feeling that she is desperate and hungry to be a social media and media star like the Gaines. Lately, she’s had more exposure to mainstream culture and she has liked it. She just doesn’t have the cultural context or history to be the cultural icon she wants to be. I give her props for trying to advance her brand but I’m second hand embarrassed for her that she really doesn’t understand WHY people criticize her. 

Jessa doesn’t truly understand the mainstream culture she’s dabbling in because of her upbringing plus she’s still scared of it. 

You are so right, she can backtrack all she wants, but every parent I've ever met has had time to throw away diapers and change the sheets on a bed and still have time to spend with there kids.

She threw the diapers away before the picture? Doesn't matter, she still had a pile of dirty diapers on a dresser in the bedroom. Diaper pail broken? Doesn't matter, use a waste basket, garbage bag or put them in a trash can.

She needs to stick to reading mommy blogs and not copying them.

I'm guessing my dirty is Jessa's clean, and I am far (very far) from a clean freak. 

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I had a friend in high school who was smart and college bound. We went to different schools after 10th grade and lost touch. I ran into her again when we were about 20, and was shocked to discover that she had dropped out of college and had two children by two different men, and was living off public assistance. She then told me she planned to continue to have children and live on welfare because she had "discovered her life's work" and she was a "great mom." I remember thinking, "no, you're not."

I don't think that Jessa understands that being a parent is more than reading stories, singing songs, and wiping noses. That's being a pre-school teacher or a day care worker. I have wonderful memories of singing songs and playing games as a child, but I also have memories of taking a bath, putting on clean pajamas, and climbing between clean sheets before my daddy read me a story. I remember sitting at the kitchen table and coloring while my mommy did the dishes (I'm old).

I think that Jessa is a much better parent than her own mother -- by a factor of a million -- but that's a veeeeery low bar. I hope that this little SM experiment opens her eyes a little. . .

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3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

You are so right, she can backtrack all she wants, but every parent I've ever met has had time to throw away diapers and change the sheets on a bed and still have time to spend with there kids.

She threw the diapers away before the picture? Doesn't matter, she still had a pile of dirty diapers on a dresser in the bedroom. Diaper pail broken? Doesn't matter, use a waste basket, garbage bag or put them in a trash can.

She needs to stick to reading mommy blogs and not copying them.

I'm guessing my dirty is Jessa's clean, and I am far (very far) from a clean freak. 

I love your last line, especially.  I so agree.  There is clutter, and there is filth.  Jessa doesn't know the difference, and like other posts said, she doesn't care.

Her social construct is ultra-isolating.  This family is so restricted, it's a wonder they learn any life skills at all.

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Now let's see....I have seen Erin Paine, Alyssa Webster and Whitney Bates' homes after they each had two children close to together. Each of them has a different style home. NONE OF THOSE HOMES looked unkempt to me. They were uncluttered, organized and clean....all of those young women know how to cook or have learned how to cook a decent meal for their families. Jessa, sorry, you failed the 'housewife' homeschooling full immersion course your MOTY gave you. Ask the Bates brides for some tips.

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I could express my horror seeing her sheets and nappies and imagining the basin and shower (sorry... Last I heard the brain bleach was in the Dillard thread), but actually all I'll say is a big thank you to Jessa for making me see that a week's dust and the shower curtain being 2 days overdue for its wash are nothing to get so worried about. It's good to get some perspective. 

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Alyssa has 2 young girls and manages to keep a spotless house while still being a hands on mother. When her husband gets home from his real job he watches the girls, while she goes out and works cleaning offices. Ben is a good father but useless at caring for kids, "work" and homework is not an excuse to be a lazy bum around the house.

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32 minutes ago, Lunera said:

Jessa Seewald on Instagram: “Backstory on my previous post: As I was making out my housecleaning to-do list the other day, this thought struck me... we all try to put…” • Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/p/BagI2ynFJ7G/?hl=en

No- there is NO EXCUSE for 12 (?) dirty diapers to be piled on the dresser. No excuse for ONE- throw it in the trash! Bathroom trash or kitchen trash? TRASH CAN. It's an extra step to pile it on the dresser.

Does she leave her dirty pads/tampons just lying around?!! What about tissues with semen or vaginal fluids on them?!!!

Yes the stove gets dirty if you cook on it, and dishes pile up, but you don't let it stay that way for days and days and you DO NOT post it on social media.

This woman has NO perspective on how "regular" people live. 

13 minutes ago, floridamom said:

I never had to take the time to write out a 'housecleaning to do list". I just did what needed to be done....can't she look around and NOTICE what needs to be done? Silly girl.

I make a house cleaning to do list, especially for things that aren't done every day or week (like the baseboards). But any "adult" should know the basics "dishes, countertop, stove, toilet, bathroom counters, shower". 

Edited by Scarlett45
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Clearly Jessa is hopeful we’re all as stupid as she: to think that someone will not know that a good dusting, requires moving every one of her tchotchkes first in order to do so; that mopping and vacuuming requires moving everything on the floor in and out of said rooms; etc.  no way did she do all that in half an hour.

Edited by queenanne
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1 hour ago, floridamom said:

Now let's see....I have seen Erin Paine, Alyssa Webster and Whitney Bates' homes after they each had two children close to together. Each of them has a different style home. NONE OF THOSE HOMES looked unkempt to me. They were uncluttered, organized and clean....

Or, at the very least, they have the sense to tidy up before posting pics on SM!  Reminds me of Jill's pics from DA with unmade beds and piles of crap in the background. 

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Unless Jessa writes much better than she speaks, I seriously doubt she wrote that "back story".  Perhaps the ghost writer they employed to write their know it all book assisted here as well. I just can't imagine she wrote this given she (and her siblings) can barely string together any sentences that aren't straight from Gothard speak.

"I am not trying to pit a clean house against interaction with kids." I believe in, and value, both. 
I really should've split that post into two, because it is not an either/or, but both/and. ---------"   Nah, don't think so.

Jessa is so convinced of her own beauty, intelligence and superiority and it is hilarious that her filthy house photos/post bombed.

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1 hour ago, queenanne said:

Clearly Jessa is hopeful we’re all as stupid as she: to think that someone will not know that a good dusting, requires moving every one of her tchotchkes first in order to do so; that mopping and vacuuming requires moving everything on the floor in and out of said rooms; etc.  no way did she do all that in half an hour.

I wouldn't be so sure. Maybe she watched Usain Bolt run a race online once and being a Duggar she instantly learned how to move very very fast. 

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37 minutes ago, Annb67 said:

Look. I had three small kids. I get it. My house wasn't always spotless, dishes weren't always done, beds weren't always made and laundry wasn't always folded. HOWEVER...for the love of god I THREW FREAKING DIRTY DIAPERS WHERE THEY BELONGED AND DIDN'T BATHE IN OR USE A TOILET NOT FIT FOR A DAMN POSSUM!!!! And I didn't sleep on dirty sheets. Jesse Blessa you are disgusting.

Also Jessa, no this isn't "real life ya'll", it's the life of a dirty slob.

Wait, what? Somebody bathes in the toilet (fit for a possum or otherwise)? I hope I can chalk that up to a missing word in the sentence!

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Wondering if part of Jessa’s problem with how real people live is that the Duggars never had any kind of daily schedule. We have heard them say they sleep late and then there is the famous Duggar time, ie always late. Schooling was probably fit in whenever and meals seem to be haphazard too. So while the rest of us do things on a regular schedule such as work or school, they do things a little differently. 

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3 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

Wondering if part of Jessa’s problem with how real people live is that the Duggars never had any kind of daily schedule. We have heard them say they sleep late and then there is the famous Duggar time, ie always late. Schooling was probably fit in whenever and meals seem to be haphazard too. So while the rest of us do things on a regular schedule such as work or school, they do things a little differently. 

And they’re so smug about when they say that.

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3 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Wait, what? Somebody bathes in the toilet (fit for a possum or otherwise)? I hope I can chalk that up to a missing word in the sentence!

Lol. Should have said BATHE in a shower or tub or.....

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4 hours ago, whydoiwatch said:

Unless Jessa writes much better than she speaks, I seriously doubt she wrote that "back story".  Perhaps the ghost writer they employed to write their know it all book assisted here as well. I just can't imagine she wrote this given she (and her siblings) can barely string together any sentences that aren't straight from Gothard speak.

"I am not trying to pit a clean house against interaction with kids." I believe in, and value, both. 
I really should've split that post into two, because it is not an either/or, but both/and. ---------"   Nah, don't think so.

Jessa is so convinced of her own beauty, intelligence and superiority and it is hilarious that her filthy house photos/post bombed.

I agree that someone helped her write those posts. It’s not her style at all. 

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1 hour ago, DangerousMinds said:

It's just even more pathetic that she can't even write her own SM posts. Desperate.

This is probably what she told Ben, or whoever, what she wanted to say:

I was making a chore list the other day and I remembered a post I saw about posting only good stuff on the internet. The reason I posted pictures of my mess is so y’all would feel better about yourselves because I, Jessa the Fundy Queen, have messes too. I ain't feeling bad for having a messy house, and you shouldn't either. So I posted the mess before Jenny and Jordyn helped me clean.

Sometimes I'm actually home alone with my kids and when Ben comes home I ain't gonna start cleaning and he's in COLLEGE. So I wait until my sisters come over and clean up our messes.

I said it before, and I'll say it again: "I am not trying to say a clean house is bad, I’m trying to prove I pay attention to my kids."

And this is what they wrote:

As I was making out my housecleaning to-do list the other day, this thought struck me... we all try to put our best foot forward and are most comfortable posting our "highlight reel" for people on social media to see. I could've waited 24 hrs and posted pics of everything freshly cleaned and looking beautiful (the stovetop is sparkling, dust bunnies have been removed, laundry is folded, bed sheets are washed, etc). Certainly people would find no fault with that... but many may find fault with themselves. I didn't do that for a reason. Reality. 
Sometimes you find yourself with an 8-month-old who isn't sleeping through the night, and you don't care that your bed has spit up on it--you're tired. Throw a towel down on it and sleep! Sometimes you don't want to wash the dishes right after supper because your husband is finally home from work, and there's only one golden hour of family time before babies are tucked into bed and hubby has to start in on his college homework... and so you put off dishes until then. 
Sometimes the dust collects on the side table in the spare room, and you don't even notice it until you're preparing for guests to stay over. 
Oh, and the diapers. ? Our diaper pail is currently outta commission, and I'm awaiting a replacement. Yeah, they were stinky, but I had them bagged up and out of the house before the pic of them was even posted. 
I said it before, and I'll say it again: "I am not trying to pit a clean house against interaction with kids." I believe in, and value, both. 

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The Seewald family consists of 4 people in a two bedroom house....what spare bedroom is she talking about? Please don't tell me that all four of them sleep in one bedroom? I know she's used to sleeping like a sardine in a can all of her life. Please tell me Ben knows better than this.

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Ben might know better but he cannot do better just cleaning out Boob's bathrooms and "going to college". They keep popping out blessings, they are going to need a miracle house.

Edited by Chicklet
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41 minutes ago, lucy711 said:

I used to work full-time.  I am now a stay at home mom who does some side work tutoring, but I'm home the vast majority of the time.  My house is not spotless, but I try to treat being a mother and a housekeeper as a job because it is for me at the present.  I make all of our meals. I clean.  I take care of my kids.  I do all of the household shopping, make the appointments, and buy the gifts.  If I didn't do these things- then what the hell else am I doing?  You cannot spend literally every second of the day staring at your kids.  There is nothing wrong with staying home- but take some pride in what you do!  I actually really appreciate having the time to have a neat house and do my cooking from scratch because I wasn't able to do that when I worked.  But I suppose when you've never worked or seen anyone else work that really doesn't matter...

There is also no reason why you cannot fold clothes while singing to your kids or watching them play.  Or change the sheets or dust with them in the room with you.  Spurgeon is plenty old enough to 'help' dust or change sheets.  That's what my mom did.  I used to love standing on a chair and dropping dirty socks into the washer and such.

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At Spurgie's age he should be playing independently at times when Jessa is nearby doing something else. That is why most 2 years all call their moms, Mom-mom-mommy-mommy-MOMMY, to get their attention. 

Jessa really can't think that any mom is attending to their kids every second of every day. Never mind Spurgie takes a nap and Henry probably takes 2 naps. Tossing diapers and changing the sheets would take 15 minutes - tops.

Edited by GeeGolly
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23 hours ago, floridamom said:

...dust her LIGHT BULBS...

 

Y'all dust your LIGHT BULBS?!? Holy spit, that's dedicated! I'm probably at the Duggar's level of household cleanliness, but I don't post pictures of my messy house, the bathroom gets scrubbed every weekend, and I change my sheets regularly. In my defense, I'm the only one who cleans because both my 24 yo son and my 6 yo grandson have mental issues and it's an effing battle to get them to do anything. 

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