Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[msblossom]

http://pagesix.com/2015/06/03/duggar-victim-jessa-seewald-defends-her-brother/

I think I'm gonna be sick. This is such denial, good luck with that, Jessa, if you ever have a daughter of your own you'll see that what Josh did to you was abuse and molestation.

[leighdear]

That blurb is why I simply cannot watch that interview.  It's perverse.

[JoanArc]

FWIW, Jessa gave virtually the same defense of catgate. "You don't even know us!"

[msblossom]

That blurb is why I simply cannot watch that interview.  It's perverse.

You and me both. I made the mistake of watching the 30 second FOX clip and my blood is boiling between that and the newly released articles online.

[mynextmistake]

I have compassion for Jessa because she is a survivor of childhood abuse. Everyone processes trauma differently and the way she views this experience will probably continue to change throughout her life. I am sure that right now she is doing the best she can to cope with a very difficult situation. We might not understand her reaction, but it is her reaction and she is entitled to it.

[leighdear]

I'm with ya, msblossom.  I've got the hockey game on (Go Tampa!) and I'm about to get in my bed with a book and a box of Teddy Grahams....*LOL*

 

I know the news is going to be filled with recaps, rehashing and commentary.  We'll hear all about it.  But I just can't see or listen to any of them.

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

Yes, it is. This was discussed quite a bit already in the Megyn Kelly run-up thread, but now that we've locked that, this is a good place to continue discussing it.

Reposting this note here since we've now closed the Speculation thread for the Megyn Kelly special:

Survivors react to abuse in many different ways. Defending their abusers is certainly one of them. It may be shocking, it may make you angry, but it happens - remember survivors feel many different things and it can be hard to process all of those feelings. Their environment probably does not help matters.

It's hard to draw a bright line rule on this, but we're going to err on the side of hiding stuff that we feel is attacking the survivors, or editing out things we feel go too far. Meanwhile, everyone take a DEEP BREATH, and remember that Jessa (and Jill, and others) suffered abuse.

Ok. Thank you. It's so hard to keep up with all the thread now, especially Josh/Anna, JB/ Michelle, and the Media threads.

I just seen that article post on FB a few hours ago.

[CofCinci]

Well, it looks like Jessa will be the poster girl for juvenile records sealing tomorrow night. Towing the family line.

[WendyCR72]

We don't necessarily have to understand Jessa's POV, but those are her feelings and should, at least, be respected, regardless of how we may feel.

[Missmissie173]

I don't know how anyone could expect different responses from Jessa or Jill regarding Josh's actions...Good Lord they have been abused all their lives, one way or another, both emotionally and physically.  Of course jessa is going to defend her asshat of a brother because that is all she knows to do.

 

Honestly, if I was Jessa, I would have latched on to the first way out of that Hell Hole of a home, namely in Ben, that  came my way. Luckily for her, they seem to have at least become friends.

 

Too me it is obvious that both Jessa and Jill (maybe all the victims) are still in the denial stage.  Your brain goes there when you can't face the pain and shame of the situation. The only "truths" they have ever known, their Parents and their Church teachings, are being blown to bits in front of their faces.

 

OMG, the pain that these two young women will have to endure when those feelings come to the surface (and they will) makes me sick to my stomach.  I pray there is accredited help available for them when the 24/7 media circus comes to a screeching halt, which it will in a matter of weeks when the next salacious story line comes along.

 

Yeah, this is reality tv and the reality is it SUCKS. 

 

I will never watch Fox News or Megan Kelly again. And. I will not watch the upcoming "interview" of two molestation victims (that probably have the maturity level of 13 year olds due to their bizarre and dysfunctional upbring) put on display like lab rats to satisfy the curiosity of inquiring minds that want to know...what a SHift Sandwich!

 

Poor, poor Jessa...I am so sorry for you and the rest. So young and tender...*sob.* 

Edited June 4, 2015 by Missmissie173

[Cherrio]

The only problem with latching onto Ben for a way out is that he is an unskilled unemployed young man living off his father in law.

 

Yes I do have sympathy for all the victims, even though they spew hate and ignorance.

 

These victims were not only molested by their brother, but also emotionally molested by their parents in countless ways.

[GEML]

See, I think using words like denial, brainwashed, stupid, naive etc. they may all be true, but given that we don't KNOW - I think we owe it to women who have been through what they have been through to take them at their word. They are adults. They are not completely sheltered people. They are Fundies, so they know what good and evil are.

Their feelings and reactions and interpretations and memories belong to them. This makes them "valid" and "honest" which may or may not be the same as "true" but since none of us are ever likely to know "the truth" I can't, in good conscience, tell another adult woman I don't believe is being abused that she isn't entitled to her own feelings.

[Jellybeans]

Their feelings and reactions and interpretations and memories belong to them. This makes them "valid" and "honest" which may or may not be the same as "true" but since none of us are ever likely to know "the truth" I can't, in good conscience, tell another adult woman I don't believe is being abused that she isn't entitled to her own feelings.

This!

Otherwise you are taking these women's power away.

[Jordan Baker]

I believe that Jessa and Jill have a right to say anything they want, especially if it helps them heal. I feel terrible for what they've been through, and if it helps them to say this was an evil plot by the media to get a good Christian family, well, OK . . . But I don't think it's wrong for us to comment on how sad it is that this is their viewpoint.

[mangosplums]

This!

Otherwise you are taking these women's power away.

Thank you both of you for articulating something I've been feeling about the situation, but didn't know how to put into words, or was afraid to say. It's the victim's right to define how they feel about the situation, it happened to them, not you, you weren't there. It bothers me when people tell women/men who have been abused how they should feel about what happened to them, simply because it's the way society has taught us victims are supposed to feel.

 

Controvesial statement to follow, but sometimes I wonder if tellling victims they are supposed to be traumitized by something that they didn't originally view as traumitizing does more harm then good. No doubt abuse of any kind  has long term affects on anyone who experiences it, but sometimes I get the feeling that people try to force victims to feel a certain way about what they've experienced, simply because that experience falls into a certain category. Or people try to force someone to feel like a victim, and everything that comes with that label, even if they themselves don't actually feel like a victim. The person who the thing actually happened to gets to define how they feel about it, even if the way they feel doesn't fit into the general scripts we've been taught in society. Just as it's wrong to tell someone that something that happened to them is no big deal, if they feel it is a big deal, it's wrong to tell someone that something is a huge deal and they should feel worse about it, if they don't feel that way. Bottom line, the victim gets to define the situation, and however they feel about it is the truth of the situation.

Edited June 5, 2015 by mangosplums

[Happyfatchick]

Remember a couple weeks ago when Jessa, Ben and Jana were pictured in the grocery with a fan (Ben had the really awful hair going on, remember?). We all snarked about jessa's awful skirt/top combo. The brown one with ruffles that hugged her pregnant belly? She's wearing THAT in her interview with MK to air on Friday. She's got it on in the previews, I doubt she changed it. I kind of admire that. We all say they don't have TV, we don't think they follow boards about them, etc. I think they do. I think they either do directly, or they have someone snoop around for them. I'd like to think, anyway, that Jessa said, "oh you hate this top???? I'm wearing it for my entire remaining pregnancy, so take THAT!" (I admire it, if that's where she's coming from, but it's still not very flattering...).

Incidentally, I wonder if Jess is going through some serious Instagram withdrawal?

Also, I'm admitting I miss our updates of Iz, and I don't think we'll see much of him anymore. The Duggs (the entire clan) are about to clamp down on outside exposure, I betcha. (Especially if they get cancelled). We'll be watching for sightings of them going thru airports and in cars like Brangelina. I'm not being sarcastic; I really miss Izzy.

Edited because my computer HATES the word "snark" or any variation, and I've never intentionally SNARLED at anyone in my life!

Edited June 5, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[Julia]

I absolutely think the victims shouldn't have their reaction dictated to them by people who are telling them what to feel. That's a big part of why I object so strenuously to the way the parents handled this. Those girls have had their lives shaped by being forced to tiptoe around the elephant in the living room so that their parents didn't have to make the hard, necessary choice to protect their daughters from their son. 

 

I don't hold the girls responsible for where they lay the blame any more than I held Patty Hearst responsible for her form of Stockholm syndrome. If they need to believe what they've been told to believe all their lives, especially when it's been wrapped up in the love of God for them, bless their hearts. I just hope at some point they discover that the world hates them a little less than they've apparently been taught that it does.

Edited June 5, 2015 by Julia

[CofCinci]

With Ben wanting to be a religious leader, I'm curious about how he will present to the public his support for Jessa and/or the Duggars.

[GEML]

Mango plums - if that's a controversial statement, we are all the poorer for it. No person should be slotted into a category because of any experience. That includes victimization. Yes, there is a commonality that many people express, but not all. Some experience it much worse, for instance - would we tell them to buck up? That's wrong too. But telling a woman who has moved on that she should be falling apart isn't right either.

I don't know where the girl Josh assaulted are, but neither does anyone else.

[yogi2014L]

I feel like Jessa reacts similarly to how I would.

She is a tough cookie, she is OVER IT and compartmentalized her abuse and while it likely helped shape her in to who she is today, and in her she closed the door on that chapter and doesn't want to talk about it, re hash it, dwell on it and probably only says the word "victim" in interviews. I doubt she actually considers herself a victim.

 

Like it or not some people just deal with things that way. 

I feel like some people tend to really attach themselves to their trauma (ie speaking out for RAINN, blog about it, spearheading campaigns for awareness or even just going to support groups ect) * Which is amazing, much needed and I am thankful people are brave enough to speak out*, while other people carry on as it never happened.

 

Neither is right or wrong I just see it as how the girls reactions ( from the 3 second preview) are kind of fitting to their personalities from the 3 second preview we got. I feel like Jill ( in a different world) would become an advocate for sexual assault survivors whereas Jessa would carry on as if it never happened ect. ( aside from probably never spending time with Josh, lol)

Edited June 5, 2015 by yogi2014L

[Janet Snakehole]

I agree with the idea that Jessa and any victim has the right to react this situation however they want.

But I get the idea that by the way her parent's acted in the interview, the situation was treated by the adults that it was no big deal. At least for the girls. It seems as though they were not given any support. So I am just hesitant to say that Jessa has compartmentalized it and that is that. Both the idea that she is hiding behind her more stoic character and that she actually is that stoic make me uncomfortable. I am not going to watch the second part of the interview.

[Jellybeans]

Everyone compartmentalizes things, if we didn't we would be upset about something every minute.

It's a great coping mechanism.

[amitville]

Everyone compartmentalizes things, if we didn't we would be upset about something every minute.

It's a great coping mechanism.

Jellybeans  Beautifully stated , i could not agree more.

[truthtalk2014]

With Ben wanting to be a religious leader, I'm curious about how he will present to the public his support for Jessa and/or the Duggars.

He will present it in the way any teenager would - except with a really stuffy nose. 

[GEML]

They may also have selected Jessa and Jill to speak for obvious reasons - Jessa is tough and Jill is the most forgiving. We are speculating that it's about spin offs or because they are married, but it might be because they can tell their truths (not the same as "the truth" because who knows what that is) without the same devastating impact as one of the other sisters.

[Soup333]

The problem with this new interview and with any possible spinoff is that I don't know what to believe anymore. I don't know if Jill and Jessa are going to be sincere in the interview and express their real feelings or if they were put up to it by their parents. Yes, I could trust them on face value, but weren't the Duggars trusted on face value by their viewers for the duration of their popularity? Sorry, but that trust has been irreparably broken.

 

While my heart goes out to the family (most of them), I will never see any of them the same way again and I will never watch any show that features them. It's over. I don't even know how they can go back on social media without facing a huge amount of backlash at this point. I wouldn't want to wade through all the hate that is sure to be directed at them. Time to go away, get real jobs and live your lives privately. 

[frenchtoast]

Please folks, no live chatting here while the interview is airing. Thanks!

[Marigny]

It was really evident just how uninformed and undereducated Jessa is during tonight's interview. 

[CofCinci]

It was really evident just how uninformed and undereducated Jessa is during tonight's interview.

Jessa is like the best homeschool teacher in like the whole county. Like, she is really a good speaker like someone who is paid to do it professional. Like like like like.

[Fuzzysox]

Jessa is like the best homeschool teacher in like the whole county. Like, she is really a good speaker like someone who is paid to do it professional. Like like like like.

totally

[RazzleberryPie]

Predicting now that the next book/tour will be about forgiving abuse.

[Ripley68]

Watching all this reminds me of a friend I had in college.  Her Dad was her personal doctor and OB?GYN, and she saw nothing wrong with it!  It squicked me out in all kinds of ways, but she was all like, 'no big deal."  She never seemed traumatized or anything, but I would look at that as incest.

 

The girls are reacting the same way, it was no big deal.  He did it, he got some sort of rehab, it's over.  I understand their anger at eveyrones interpretation of events when only they know what really happened.  I"m totally torn on this.  I think what he did at the time was icky, but we don't know the whole circumstance, and never will.  From what we've seen the last few years, he wouldn't do it now.  I do call hypocrisy on making your living by having your life televised, than crying when something you don't like is made public, but I understand it.

I want to know how Ben is reacting to all this.

[Sew Sumi]

I can't wait to read Ben's fire and brimstone manifesto. Because y'all know it's coming... 

[Cherrio]

totally

So, yeah

[CofCinci]

I can't wait to read Ben's fire and brimstone manifesto. Because y'all know it's coming...

This is the manifesto that will make or break his ministry career.

Edited June 7, 2015 by CofCinci

[Aethera]

Guys please, please, please stop arguing over the legal/illegal releasing of the police reports, and stop portraying your opinions as facts.  If you see someone talking about it, don't reply to them, just report it and the mods will handle it.

[Marigny]

Predicting now that the next book/tour will be about forgiving abuse.

 

The Amazon reviews will be absolutely insane and I can't wait to read them. 

[jb0495]

Jessa posted the first ultrasound of Baby Seewald on FB & Twitter this morning. 

 

https://www.facebook.com/JessaSeewald?fref=ts

 

https://twitter.com/jessaseewald

 

Me thinks the girls just might get a spinoff after all, with episodes filled with smiling Izzy & endless ultrasounds of #BabySeewald....

[Bella]

Or they may be still trying for the spinoff, not realizing how unlikely it is.

[Sew Sumi]

Since there's no gender reveal in either Jessa's or Ben's Instagram pics, I'm voting that they're pretty sure TLC is at least giving them a #BabySeewald VSE. For all we know, TLC was quietly there with them today. 

[CofCinci]

Since there's no gender reveal in either Jessa's or Ben's Instagram pics, I'm voting that they're pretty sure TLC is at least giving them a #BabySeewald VSE. For all we know, TLC was quietly there with them today.

Yep. Nearly 2 weeks post-molestion reveal and TLC hasn't cancelled? To me that says TLC will continue their relationship with the Duggars, especially Ben and Jessa.

The gender reveal episode could be their first one back on television.

Edited June 10, 2015 by CofCinci

[Abstract]

Or they may be still trying for the spinoff, not realizing how unlikely it is.

I'm thinking of the end of "The Boleyn Inheritance" when the Archbishop or whoever is laughing at Jane, George Boleyn's widow: "A DUKE? You thought I would find a duke to marry you? There's not a man in Europe who would have you."

(Sorry if that's a spoiler, but the book is about 6 years old.)

Edited June 10, 2015 by Abstract

[MrsMommy]

Maybe they are just trying to live life like normal people and that means social media

[GEML]

I figure they will try for some type of show. I won't be watching, but I don't blame them for trying to save their livelihood.

[Marigny]

I don't think this necessarily means a spin off. What it does indicate is that Jessa is definitely craving the attention of her adoring "fans" and feels the need to post her business on social media. She's really not unlike most people her age that use social media. The need to overshare, get retweets and "Likes" is real in these internet streets! 

[BitterApple]

I'm not surprised Jessa is back on social media. If she doesn't remind people she's pregnant how else will she grift 20k worth of baby crap from adoring fans?

[DangerousMinds]

Maybe they are just trying to live life like normal people and that means social media

Not everyone participates in social media, and many don't feel comfortable sharing pics of their kids with millions of strangers. I think they should sit down and stay off their computers for a good long time.

[MrsMommy]

I understand dangerous minds, I'm speaking for someone in my age group, most people (I don't know anyone besides older ppl) use social media now a days

[Sew Sumi]

Maybe they are just trying to live life like normal people and that means social media

I'd buy this if they were allowed to be on social media like "normal people" ie. their legions of teenage leghumpers. They aren't allowed to "communicate" with the fans until they're engaged, and even then, the relationship is a one-way street. They aren't going to follow any of us. This goes for ALL Duggars on social media, not just Jessa and Ben. However, Jessa and Ben DEFINITELY like the attention more than Jill and Derick, or even the entity that posts as "duggarfam." 

Edited June 10, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[Gweilo]

I am in awe (and not in a god way) that People can manage to crap out a 297-word article that basically says "Jessa posted a photo on instagram".