Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[SadForTheJSlaves]

I'm just watching the 'Digging in with the Duggars' ep and I noticed a moment where Josh spoke directly to Ben and Ben could barely make eye contact with him; I may just be imagining it but there seemed to be some real tension there. I would not be surprised if Ben knew what Josh had done to his own sisters and is far more reluctant to forgive. I wonder if Ben fantasises about punching Josh in his smug face for what he did.

[Wellfleet]

Jim Holt is one of the big Republican names in AR politics today. He lives in NW Ar and is (or was, not sure) a Baptist minister. I believe he's in the State Senate, after being defeated for the U.S. senate twice, once losing to a Dem and once losing in a primary to the Repub who won and is Senator now. He is generally thought to be the person who brought Jim Bob to the attention of the Republican Party as a potential candidate. There were rumors that his daughter and Josh were dating and/or engaged at one point. Then, during JB's senate campaign, the families had a HUGE falling out. But the fallout was over Jim Bob, not Josh. Both Holt and Huckabee have always gone out of their way to be kind to Josh despite their differences with Jim Bob.

.

Dammit. Now I really want to know what Boob did to alienate Holt...

I thought Ben was a doof.

I now think he is the best thing that ever happened to Jessa.

I'm not sure I'd go that far, but I do understand what you're saying. Assuming Ben doesn't go along with the "everything is the woman's fault" crud, that is. If he's normal in that regard, I'm very glad she has his love and support right now.

[RazzleberryPie]

Jim Holt is one of the big Republican names in AR politics today. He lives in NW Ar and is (or was, not sure) a Baptist minister. I believe he's in the State Senate, after being defeated for the U.S. senate twice, once losing to a Dem and once losing in a primary to the Repub who won and is Senator now. He is generally thought to be the person who brought Jim Bob to the attention of the Republican Party as a potential candidate. There were rumors that his daughter and Josh were dating and/or engaged at one point. Then, during JB's senate campaign, the families had a HUGE falling out. But the fallout was over Jim Bob, not Josh. Both Holt and Huckabee have always gone out of their way to be kind to Josh despite their differences with Jim Bob.

I DO think Ben is the best thing to happen to Jessa so far. He's the winning turd in a big ole pile of shit.

(Ok, that was harsh on Bin. He seems like a decent, just very young, sheltered, opinionated, and immature guy. I think he's doing the best he can and truly loves Jessa).

[Bella]

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[BitterApple]

I'm neutral on Ben. I want to believe he'd be supportive of Jessa and be the type of husband who'd want to beat the crap out of Josh, but I'm not so sure. He's a pretty hard core Kool Aid drinker himself and he's made his own offensive comments on social media. I don't think any of these people would have what we'd consider typical reactions to all this mess.

Edited May 26, 2015 by BitterApple

[mythoughtis]

Ben and Jessa will be fine. He has an associate degree, he can get a job with benefits. They won't be rich, but they will get by. maybe they will rethink some things, and won't have 19 kids or worry about women wearing pants.

Edited May 26, 2015 by mythoughtis

[Absolom]

Ben's saving grace may be that his family was Vision Forum rather than Gothard.  It seems less hard core.

[bluebonnet]

ITA, mythoughtis.  

 

I suppose I'm just so fact-oriented that it's easy to move on from having concerns about this couple's financial health.  If their only major concerns are living on less but still well and receiving only $15k of baby registry 'love offerings', then they are doing really well.  I'm much more concerned about the fact that they are attached to a horrible and dangerous cult and what the means for not only their well-being but the well-being of their child(ren).  That just feels a lot more important than worrying if their barn of baby stuff will continue to fill up.  

[Beaner]

Where are they registered for baby gifts?

[bluebonnet]

From what google research tells me, they typically register with Wal-Mart.  I doubt they are registered so early.  

[Fuzzysox]

Didn't Jessa exclude both Josh and Anna from her wedding party?

Edited May 26, 2015 by Fuzzysox

[CofCinci]

Didn't Jess exclude both Josh and Anna from her wedding party?

He was emcee of the reception.

[3 is enough]

 

He was emcee of the reception.

What reception?  Thought they just had people line up for ice-cream sundaes outside in the November weather. 

[BitterApple]

I think the only reason Jill had Anna as a bridesmaid was because she didn't have any close girlfriends and she needed numbers to balance out Derick's side. She also had Hannie whom she never seemed particularly close to, so yeah, she was reaching. Jessa had a more normal mix of sisters, sisters-in-law and friends.

[WalrusGirl]

I think the only reason Jill had Anna as a bridesmaid was because she didn't have any close girlfriends and she needed numbers to balance out Derick's side. She also had Hannie whom she never seemed particularly close to, so yeah, she was reaching. Jessa had a more normal mix of sisters, sisters-in-law and friends.

Jill (and Jana) also helped with Anna's births, so I figured that, while Anna seemed sort of surprised and flattered, I didn't think it was really a reach. Jessa did seem to have an impressive mix, though Jill didn't have the new sisters-in-law to work with! I liked that she included Ben's sisters, despite having enough sisters and a SIL to have avoided it had she wanted to. (And it's always nice to see friends they aren't related to! Even if there is a higher risk of eventually not having spoken to people in your formal wedding pictures in 5/10/20 years. :-P )

[GEML]

Jill's wedding was family inclusive, Jessa's was more specific to Jessa. I think each one expressed their own personality. Plus, it kept each one from doing a duplicate wedding back to back, which showed some sensitivity on both girls' part.

What is interesting, in light of the new revelation, is I was always surprised by how casually everyone treated Josh flying in last minute for the wedding and the risk he wouldn't be there at all. Perhaps Jessa told him she didn't care if he were there or not, but Anna and the kids were welcome.

[Marigold]

I guess Jessa won't get her own Very Special Episode on the birth of the baby. Bad timing for Jessa.

Jill got the better house and the VSE.

I actually wanted to see the VSE of Jessa. :(

[Twopper]

Didn't I hear them say, in answering a question about adoption, that they were already working with an agency? Is any agency going to give a child to a very, young unemployed couple with their own biological baby on the way?  especially when so many couples trying to adopt are infertile.  If they decide to limit their own biological children to a few and adopt a few then good for them, but I just don't see it happening.  I am actually more optimistic (but not much) that Jessa and Ben have a better chance of striking out on their own in the next 10 years than Jill and Derick.  

 

Also one of my distant relatives met Jessa and had her picture made with her at a home schooling conference where the whole Duggar clan were on the schedule. This was about a month ago.  I myself would not pay to hear the Duggars sing and recite Bible verses which seemed to be on the program.  And I would think similar groups might re-evaluate their invitations, but I can see this going on forever with such conferences inviting individual adult Duggars or a group of the girls (sorta like the book tour).

Edited May 27, 2015 by Twopper

[GEML]

I'm extremely skeptical that there was ever going to be an adoption.

[Darknight]

Unless it's a fundie adoption

[Mariva]

I think the only reason Jill had Anna as a bridesmaid was because she didn't have any close girlfriends and she needed numbers to balance out Derick's side. She also had Hannie whom she never seemed particularly close to, so yeah, she was reaching. Jessa had a more normal mix of sisters, sisters-in-law and friends.

I don't think this is true. The non-family members Jessa had as bridesmaids are considered family friends and they hang out with all of the older girls, including Jill. I think it's like GEML said, Jill wanted a family-exclusive wedding while Jessa did not. The DailyMail picked up on it in their latest report, but in hindsight, it was odd that Jill incorporated virtually everyone in her family into her wedding party EXCEPT for Josh. She even had Cousin Amy sing during the ceremony! Yet Josh got severely neglected to usher/emcee status for both her and Jessa's weddings.

[GEML]

It's especially odd, since it would have been natural to have Anna and Josh as a couple. At the time, I thought it was simply logistics. But maybe Jill and Derick had to draw a line somewhere.

[OhioMom]

https://instagram.com/p/21QOhrjfhT/

in case we all forget she's with child. She looks pretty here, at least.

That looks about right for 16 weeks.

That's his hair? I thought it was a wig at first! Her outfit's not so cute, but I was glad to see her standing up straight.

I know, right?  I'm like, "What the heck is that on his head?"  It looks like a very bad wig...or molded plastic or some sort.

[RazzleberryPie]

Didn't I hear them say, in answering a question about adoption, that they were already working with an agency? Is any agency going to give a child to a very, young unemployed couple with their own biological baby on the way?  especially when so many couples trying to adopt are infertile.  If they decide to limit their own biological children to a few and adopt a few then good for them, but I just don't see it happening.  I am actually more optimistic (but not much) that Jessa and Ben have a better chance of striking out on their own in the next 10 years than Jill and Derick.  

 

Also one of my distant relatives met Jessa and had her picture made with her at a home schooling conference where the whole Duggar clan were on the schedule. This was about a month ago.  I myself would not pay to hear the Duggars sing and recite Bible verses which seemed to be on the program.  And I would think similar groups might re-evaluate their invitations, but I can see this going on forever with such conferences inviting individual adult Duggars or a group of the girls (sorta like the book tour).

I can't imagine any adoption agency give a couple who is 1) under 25, 2) pregnant, 3) doesn't have stable employment, 4) has been married for a whopping 6 months, 5) now has a documented (police report) child molestation scandal, any consideration for adoption or fostering.

 

Ten years down the road and with stable employment and counseling, I think they'd make great adoptive parents. Right now, no, for a variety of reasons.

[Churchhoney]

Unless it's a fundie adoption

I hate to even think this, but maybe it's an adoption agency sort of the way Jana is a concert pianist and Sierra is a wedding planner. Just ad hoc and self-declared. I keep thinking of that Ark legislator rehoming scandal. A troubling number of things happen to children in the "informal" system. And even in the informal system, some people are well meaning, I'm sure. Nevertheless...

[RazzleberryPie]

I hate to even think this, but maybe it's an adoption agency sort of the way Jana is a concert pianist and Sierra is a wedding planner. Just ad hoc and self-declared. I keep thinking of that Ark legislator rehoming scandal. A troubling number of things happen to children in the "informal" system. And even in the informal system, some people are well meaning, I'm sure. Nevertheless...

OK - i would so watch a fake baby adoption agency, where they just kept dressing up Cabbage Patch Dolls (take that, Gothard), sack of potatoes with Josie's fake pigtails, chimps (they'd blend in perfectly with the Howlers and be cleaner), etc., and pass them off to a Batshit Crazy Michelle as her new babies, with that crazy voice going "I adopted EVERY SINGLE ONE. Can we say FAMILY LAW COURT? How sweet, neat, surreal, totally! 

[ChocolateAddict]

I think that the "adoption" talk is an added storyline for the show and not much more.  I cannot believe that Benessa seriously think that they will adopt in the next few years.  Even before the gravy train left the station, they are unemployed, under-educated (Ben's graduation thingy notwithstanding) and are living in a house owned by Grandma Duggar.  There were question marks as to how they would raise their biological kid let alone an adopted/fostered one.  

Some adopted/fostered children come with unique challenges, fractured homes, developmental delays, anger management, etc.  While obviously not all children in the system are like this, Benessa wouldn't be able to ask for a brown haired, blue eyed baby and have it delivered to their door (at least, I'm assuming so).  

Besides, I don't think that they would be equipped to deal with raising one biological and one adopted child of similar ages.  I know of some fantastic families who have made the foster/biological child blend work but it takes hard work, patience and maturity.   A couple who are barely in their early twenties trying to navigate the complexities of child psychology with raising biological/adopted children?  For these two it would be a hell no. 

Basically, it's a nice added storyline without much substance.  

[Churchhoney]

I think that the "adoption" talk is an added storyline for the show and not much more.  I cannot believe that Benessa seriously think that they will adopt in the next few years.  Even before the gravy train left the station, they are unemployed, under-educated (Ben's graduation thingy notwithstanding) and are living in a house owned by Grandma Duggar.  There were question marks as to how they would raise their biological kid let alone an adopted/fostered one.  

Some adopted/fostered children come with unique challenges, fractured homes, developmental delays, anger management, etc.  While obviously not all children in the system are like this, Benessa wouldn't be able to ask for a brown haired, blue eyed baby and have it delivered to their door (at least, I'm assuming so).  

Besides, I don't think that they would be equipped to deal with raising one biological and one adopted child of similar ages.  I know of some fantastic families who have made the foster/biological child blend work but it takes hard work, patience and maturity.   A couple who are barely in their early twenties trying to navigate the complexities of child psychology with raising biological/adopted children?  For these two it would be a hell no. 

Basically, it's a nice added storyline without much substance.  

 

I think this is all true, except that I sometimes wonder whether Ben and Jessa actually know that they're unemployed and under-educated. 

[Fuzzysox]

I'd watch a spin off if they sent Jessa to school. She could either go to culninary or beauty school. Yep, it sure would be totally awesome viewing so we could snark later.

OK - i would so watch a fake baby adoption agency, where they just kept dressing up Cabbage Patch Dolls (take that, Gothard), sack of potatoes with Josie's fake pigtails, chimps (they'd blend in perfectly with the Howlers and be cleaner), etc., and pass them off to a Batshit Crazy Michelle as her new babies, with that crazy voice going "I adopted EVERY SINGLE ONE. Can we say FAMILY LAW COURT? How sweet, neat, surreal, totally!

LOL thanks for the laugh! I really needed one after days of reading and feeling sad about the whole situation.

[mbutterfly]

That looks about right for 16 weeks.

I know, right?  I'm like, "What the heck is that on his head?"  It looks like a very bad wig...or molded plastic or some sort.

I keep looking but I don't see Ben's head. 

http://seewalds.com/grace-greater-than-our-sin/#more-341

Mr. Seewald weighs in.

eta, posted in Smuggar thread simultaneously.

Again, it may be their different way of thinking but while I am more than happy for Josh to be penitent and receive God's grace in abundance, I would not be happy to see this family saga continue on television. Two very different things in my book (and, in this case, by my book I mean the Bible. 

[brandyelf]

That looks about right for 16 weeks.

I know, right? I'm like, "What the heck is that on his head?" It looks like a very bad wig...or molded plastic or some sort.

Why, oh why, did I read the comments on that photo in the instagram feed...

[Marigny]

from p&h.  jessa doesn't look like she's arching her back here so she's not showing much of a bump but she looks like she's gotten wider.  are striped skirts the norm for pregnant duggar girls?  i'm just gonna say it.  that brown top and and green stripe skirt combo is fugly..  aaaaand bin's helmet....i mean hair.  it looks like a bowl cut.

 

 

edited for spelling.

 

Bin is channeling the Beibs circa 2009.

 

Of course baby registries are created so people can buy the stuff.  The problem is, the Duggars tend to use these opportunities to gift grab.  I don't know if you've been witness to any of their bridal registries, but they publicize these things so perfect strangers (most with significantly less money than the Duggars), can buy them gifts.  They ask for everything - the most expensive of items, multiple bed spreads, Gatorade, boxes of cereal, etc.  The type of thing most of us would have a little too much integrity to ask for. 

 

Since you're not a viewer of the show, there may be some things you don't understand about Ben and Jessa's situation.  They live in a home owned by Grandma Duggar, and controlled by Jim Bob.  Ben does odd jobs for Jim Bob, therefore, his income and housing are totally dependent upon Jim Bob.

 

Regarding the pay they receive from the show:  I'm not sure if you've read these boards for a while, or are new.  It's long been speculated by people far more informed on this family than me, that Jim Bob has incorporated the family (like other TLC families).  Meaning, TLC pays Jim Bob a lump sum, and he decides whether or not (most likely not) he shares with his children.  It's also pretty commonly believed that Josh receives a second check, which covers the five members of his family.  So if true, again - any of that income is dependent of Jim Bob.

 

I believe Jim Bob also does the negotiating for the People cover, thus likely gets that income, which would include her interviews.  Her book would have received very little money.  She probably does directly receive money for her speaking engagement, but the fundie world is small, and the Duggar name may now make her persona non grata.

 

Regarding Ben's desire to be a minister:  There have been several posters here with personal experience in the type of career Ben is talking about.  It includes many more years of schooling, and is often difficult to be accepted into a program and position.  Since marrying into the Duggar family, he seemed to have his eye on a type of televangelist, but he's now tainted by the Duggar name.

 

Let's not forget the Macbook Pro that was on a registry. That one still blows my mind. 

[Ljohnson1987]

There's talk about a Jessa/Bin Dill spin-off.  TLC must think we want to see a 20 year old father to be, spewing ridiculous hate. We don't.

[ginger90]

There's talk about a Jessa/Bin Dill spin-off.  TLC must think we want to see a 20 year old father to be, spewing ridiculous hate. We don't.

Perhaps MTV will pick them up.

[BitterApple]

I don't think any spin-off show would be interesting. What would we watch? Jessa painting her nails as Jana cleans her house? Another stupid gender reveal? Been there done that. None of the Duggars are interesting as individuals nor do they have the personalities to carry a show on their own. At least with a large group the producers can rotate storylines and fill an hour time slot.

Edited May 28, 2015 by BitterApple

[lookeyloo]

I agree with you BitterApple, totally, so yeah.  The last bunch of shows were painful to watch.  Repeat clips, silly talking heads, younger girls looking like they were awakened from a nap to talk, etc.  I watched because it was there, but, there is nothing interesting about them and now that we know what was going on, I don't know if I want to watch more of same.

[barbedwire]

What is up with Bin's hair?  Jessa doesn't look very big in that picture.  Run Jana run!

 

I too would never ever watch a spin-off.  What are they going to do to make them entertaining?  Send them on trips/outings?  Enough of that already.

[DangerousMinds]

Agreed, the married girls are just as boring as the rest. I have no interest in seeing their lives. And I find Bin and Jessa extremely immature and hateful.

[mynextmistake]

Jana (that is Jana, right, in the green top?) looks lovely in that photo. I'll give Jessa a pass because as a currently pregnant lady, I know there are days when you would wear a hefty bag to the grocery store if it fit you and was easy to put on. Ben, on the other hand, looks like he skinned a possum and is wearing it as a wig.

[CofCinci]

I enjoyed watching their time in Europe. It changed my opinion of Ben. He seems to have a genuine curiosity about life outside of Arkansas. I'd watch a show about them --- if they moved away and out from under Jim Bob's control. I had hoped that Derick would take Jill far away from the Duggars and show her a different live but he and his family seem very enmeshed. Ben is still growing. While I do not agree with his political views or position on abortion, I wouldn't mind watching their journey. Jessa and Ben are attractive enough to build a career outside of Jim Bob.

[RandomX]

I enjoyed watching their time in Europe. It changed my opinion of Ben. He seems to have a genuine curiosity about life outside of Arkansas. I'd watch a show about them --- if they moved away and out from under Jim Bob's control. I had hoped that Derick would take Jill far away from the Duggars and show her a different live but he and his family seem very enmeshed. Ben is still growing. While I do not agree with his political views or position on abortion, I wouldn't mind watching their journey. Jessa and Ben are attractive enough to build a career outside of Jim Bob.

I don't know -- doofus marries pretty girl, immediately knocks her up and announces intention to devote rest of his life to preaching at non-believers. It's too much "Jim Bob & Michelle: The Early Years," minus the titillating bikini lawn mowing.

[Cherrio]

What is up with Bin's hair?  Jessa doesn't look very big in that picture.  Run Jana run!

 

I too would never ever watch a spin-off.  What are they going to do to make them entertaining?  Send them on trips/outings?  Enough of that already.

There would be lots of trips to Starbucks, then driving to the TTH and handing the coffee thru a crack in the front door.

          Speaking of cleaning, Jill's house looks very dirty to me.

[CofCinci]

Speaking of cleaning, Jill's house looks very dirty to me.

Cleaning wasn't her jurisdiction. With all the food prep and cooking needed for their mini-Army consuming her time, there is a chance that she never actually cleaned anything. They don't even wash dishes. So, Jill does not know how to clean. Plus, she has a house that is far larger than what her small family needs. 5 bathrooms to clean. And Derick didn't marry a pious, sheltered woman-child in a virtually arranged married so that he could end up scrubbing toilets. Jill has to do it all on her own and now with a baby on her hip.

Edited May 29, 2015 by CofCinci

[GEML]

For all my of the talk about how much work the older girls did, I really think they didn't do much. For five girls, that house and the meals should have run like clock work. I don't think they know how to CLEAN (not talking about waving a duster around) or how to cook behind heating something up. It's just like teaching isn't about checking answers in a workbook or a computer screen.

I think there was a lot of nail painting in the TTH for everyone.

[JoanArc]

 

For all my of the talk about how much work the older girls did, I really think they didn't do much

The girls growth was all arrested in their early teens, so it's no surprise that they approved cooking and cleaning like teen, then went and did their nails/hair. There was certainly no mother figure there too teach them age appropriate cooking/cleaning either.

Edited May 29, 2015 by JoanArc

[zenme]

For all my of the talk about how much work the older girls did, I really think they didn't do much. For five girls, that house and the meals should have run like clock work. I don't think they know how to CLEAN (not talking about waving a duster around) or how to cook behind heating something up. It's just like teaching isn't about checking answers in a workbook or a computer screen.

I think there was a lot of nail painting in the TTH for everyone

 

I never thought about it really, but that's true! I remember being disgusted when they'd move the sofas back for their little performances and thinking, "Whose jurisdiction is that??" There really wasn't a whole lot of washing dishes, other than the pans--they used disposable.  Grandma did the laundry.  Littles gathered the dirty clothes.  Somehow, their house didn't look like it smelled very fresh.  Maybe it was all the kids, or knowing that feet and tongues have touched the countertops. Yeah.  I'd agree housework and jurisdictions weren't an everyday thing for the teens as much as they'd like us to think. 

[floridamom]

They already tried that new TV show concept with the "Brady Brides"....it didn't work. Anyone remember that disaster?

[GEML]

(Raises hand) I have a tremendous capacity for terrible television. THE BRADY BRIDES was so horrible. I don't think THE DUGGAR BRIDES would be much better, actually.

[CofCinci]

I think there was a lot of nail painting in the TTH for everyone.

Very true. Their hair (full of secrets http://mtv.mtvnimages.com/uri/mgid:file:http:shared:mtv.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/tumblr_mk32c7x56r1s9n4cro1_250-1415235252.gif) takes a lot of time to style and maintain.

[JoanArc]

They already tried that new TV show concept with the "Brady Brides"....it didn't work. Anyone remember that disaster?

Remember "The Brady's"? It's what they're trying to do to the Duggars.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bradys