Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

Jill and Jessa should have someone help them make these simple spice racks. They save a lot of space and everything is easy to find. 

That is very creative and awesome. I would love that if I had more than a dozen spices.

I'm thinking Jill and Jessa might need something more like this.

[MargeGunderson]

@Mindthinkr, that’s the spice rack of my dreams. 

[emmawoodhouse]

Where are they going to put accent chairs? They barely have room for the birthing couches. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CMNx3qxpkts/?igshid=qs3xz6tp5vwo

[GeeGolly]

10 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Where are they going to put accent chairs? They barely have room for the birthing couches. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CMNx3qxpkts/?igshid=qs3xz6tp5vwo

OMG. Maybe they should be thinking about where they're going to put the baby rather than squeezing more furniture in their house.

Or... maybe they're moving?

[crazy8s]

13 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

OMG. Maybe they should be thinking about where they're going to put the baby rather than squeezing more furniture in their house.

Or... maybe they're moving?

moving was my first thought - checked AR property records - nothing new there yet

[CalicoKitty]

That looks like a used furniture place.  So, per one of the comments on the post, they really could be someone's grandma's chairs.

[SMama]

Poor Henry is bursting out of his clothes. Why can Jessa buy properly sized clothing for her boys? I have yet to see Ivy looking like a stuffed sausage. She is relegated to dirty, barefoot, and uncombed hair. 

[Madtown]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

OMG. Maybe they should be thinking about where they're going to put the baby rather than squeezing more furniture in their house.

Don't worry about the baby. They'll just put the two chairs together and the baby will sleep there.

[crazy8s]

so not buying from Sam's Furniture? sorry Sierra

[Zella]

6 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

so not buying from Sam's Furniture? sorry Sierra

That was my first thought. Did they not get it at Sam's?! (The annoying store slogan is "Get it at Sam's!" Now I'll have their annoying commercials ringing in my ears all evening. 😖)

[iwantcookies]

Of course the chair is the color of mustard 🙄🙄🙄

Poor Henry probably can’t even breathe in his too small clothes 

[SMama]

2 hours ago, SMama said:

Poor Henry is bursting out of his clothes. Why can’t Jessa buy properly sized clothing for her boys? I have yet to see Ivy looking like a stuffed sausage. She is relegated to dirty, barefoot, and uncombed hair. 

Edited March 10, 2021 by SMama

[BitterApple]

2 hours ago, SMama said:

Poor Henry is bursting out of his clothes. Why can Jessa buy properly sized clothing for her boys? I have yet to see Ivy looking like a stuffed sausage. She is relegated to dirty, barefoot, and uncombed hair. 

I really wonder what goes on behind closed doors at Jessa's house. I don't expect anyone's children to be perfectly groomed show ponies 24/7, but there's so many alarm bells going off with this family, it's crazy. The diaper mountain, kids scrounging for food, clothing that never fits, greasy hair, Henry's untreated speech delay, Ivy in a constant state of grogginess, Ben sullen and disengaged, etc. It's like they're the walking embodiment of dysfunction. And they're adding another kid to it....

[SMama]

23 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I really wonder what goes on behind closed doors at Jessa's house. I don't expect anyone's children to be perfectly groomed show ponies 24/7, but there's so many alarm bells going off with this family, it's crazy. The diaper mountain, kids scrounging for food, clothing that never fits, greasy hair, Henry's untreated speech delay, Ivy in a constant state of grogginess, Ben sullen and disengaged, etc. It's like they're the walking embodiment of dysfunction. And they're adding another kid to it....

They will be adding MANY kids to that shit show. How many more unemployed kidults, in-laws, and grandchildren can JB support? 

[Tdoc72]

4 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

That looks like a used furniture place.  So, per one of the comments on the post, they really could be someone's grandma's chairs.

No, it’s called At Home. I recognize the tags and shelving. Huge home furnishings and accents. My kids hate going there b/c it’s so big and they have everything you need to decorate your house. 

A small rancher on our street added an upstairs addition.  Looks really nice now. They should build up. They outgrew that house before Ivy came. 

Edited March 10, 2021 by Tdoc72

[emmawoodhouse]

5 minutes ago, Tdoc72 said:

No, it’s called At Home. I recognize the tags and shelving. Huge home furnishings and accents. My kids hate going there b/c it’s so big and they have everything you need to decorate your house. 

A small rancher on our street added an upstairs addition.  Looks really nice now. They should build up. They outgrew that house before Ivy came. 

It would be easy enough to stay in one of JB's unsold flips during construction. But this is Jessa, stubborn as a mule. She'd likely insist that they could continue to live there.

[iwantcookies]

In all seriousness Jessa and Ben need therapy. Maybe a divorce. They seem so unhappy. But of course that’s not allowed so the misery will continue. I feel sorry for the kids. 

[emmawoodhouse]

9 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

In all seriousness Jessa and Ben need therapy. Maybe a divorce. They seem so unhappy. But of course that’s not allowed so the misery will continue. I feel sorry for the kids. 

Jessa's such a cold fish. I imagine Ben has buyer's remorse. 

[Minivanessa]

7 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

In all seriousness Jessa and Ben need therapy. Maybe a divorce. They seem so unhappy. But of course that’s not allowed so the misery will continue. I feel sorry for the kids. 

All they need is Jesus. Just ask them; I'm sure that's what they will tell you. 

Remember when they were first married and Jessa was all big pregnant and invited as a speaker at some Christian women's event(s)? Ben was dancing attendance on her, they were featured all over the TV show. In the meantime, Jill and Derick were off to a shaky start, Jill failed at homebirthing, their Danger America mission trips didn't go well, they and their tiny kid looked stressed as hell so often.

Now? Derick left Fundieworld, Jill's apparently getting therapy, they have a nice starter home while Derick is about to graduate from law school. The Dillard family looks comfortable and kinda "normal" in their social media posts. Izzy's in school, and smiling a lot. 

And, IMO the Seewalds are kind of circling the drain. Kids look awful, unkempt, badly dressed, almost feral, Bin's not dancing worshipful attendance on Jessa, and the Queen Bee's maintaining her iron grip on her little family which is jammed into a nasty little house. 

And, in the next season of the soap opera, As the Fundies Turn . . . ? 🤣

[Tikichick]

48 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

All they need is Jesus. Just ask them; I'm sure that's what they will tell you. 

Remember when they were first married and Jessa was all big pregnant and invited as a speaker at some Christian women's event(s)? Ben was dancing attendance on her, they were featured all over the TV show. In the meantime, Jill and Derick were off to a shaky start, Jill failed at homebirthing, their Danger America mission trips didn't go well, they and their tiny kid looked stressed as hell so often.

Now? Derick left Fundieworld, Jill's apparently getting therapy, they have a nice starter home while Derick is about to graduate from law school. The Dillard family looks comfortable and kinda "normal" in their social media posts. Izzy's in school, and smiling a lot. 

And, IMO the Seewalds are kind of circling the drain. Kids look awful, unkempt, badly dressed, almost feral, Bin's not dancing worshipful attendance on Jessa, and the Queen Bee's maintaining her iron grip on her little family which is jammed into a nasty little house. 

And, in the next season of the soap opera, As the Fundies Turn . . . ? 🤣

IMO Jill and Derick at the beginning were unable to communicate or reach a meeting of the minds and they had absolutely no idea why.   Their supervised and stilted courtship didn't get anywhere near to revealing the chasms that were all around them, just waiting for them to fall in.  Derick didn't really understand just how far Jill's life experiences growing up were from his own, or that he was married to someone who had no there there when it came to formulating independent opinions on things.   Jill understood that Derick shared her deep faith and would be taking over JB's position as her headship.   She assumed Derick shared JB's opinions on everything.  Neither one of them was getting what they expected, wanted or needed in a mate, and Derick certainly did not have the partner he expected. 

Ben was all set to marry the hot girl from the fundie family building an ever bigger reputation as towering figures of faith and family life.   Ben has a deep appreciation for those types of towering figures, something that will come to bite Jessa and their first offspring in the ass.  Ben was a very young guy with a very young, very shallow, very immature person's idea of what he wanted in life.   Jessa wanted to be able to more fully exercise her will and needed a partner who wouldn't pushback.  She liked the look of Ben, so that was a plus.   Ben's now maturing, probably getting uppity with more opinions of his own, yet now he's well and truly cut off most of his ability to control his own destiny and go after what he wants.  The hot daughter has turned into a controlling wife who seems quite comfortable going about life in a disheveled, crowded house looking pretty disheveled herself.  The only thing she doesn't seem to have let go is her desire to be in control.  And the family of towering faith?  From the inside the tower leans, reeks, and doesn't inspire much beyond demands for toilets to be scrubbed.  

[madpsych78]

Jessa may not have as many kids as Kendra, but I feel like her parenting style could possibly be the most like Michelle's for the reasons previously mentioned. Whereas Kendra may have more kids but I could see her going the Anna route of parenting.

[GeeGolly]

Jill and Jessa are both bossy wives. Jill is just nicer. When they were courting Derick was barley able to talk and Jill even shut him down once when he wasn't being serious enough. Jessa barely said a word, but when she did, it was her opinion. The biggest difference between Jill and Jessa is, Jill's marriage goals include kumbaya for all, where Jessa just wants what Jessa wants.

I think Jessa and Jill are as surprised at what their marriages are, and aren't, as Derick and Ben. And both husbands are getting what they want outside of their marriages. Ben's getting a pulpit where he can 'impress' all with his 'deep knowledge' of the Christian faith, with a captive audience. Derick will likely find a job where he can infringe on others' rights.

I'm not sure either couple has an edge on happiness, but out of the four of them, Jessa is most likely living the life closest to what she imagined.

[Tikichick]

8 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Jill and Jessa are both bossy wives. Jill is just nicer. When they were courting Derick was barley able to talk and Jill even shut him down once when he wasn't being serious enough. Jessa barely said a word, but when she did, it was her opinion. The biggest difference between Jill and Jessa is, Jill's marriage goals include kumbaya for all, where Jessa just wants what Jessa wants.

I think Jessa and Jill are as surprised at what their marriages are, and aren't, as Derick and Ben. And both husbands are getting what they want outside of their marriages. Ben's getting a pulpit where he can 'impress' all with his 'deep knowledge' of the Christian faith, with a captive audience. Derick will likely find a job where he can infringe on others' rights.

I'm not sure either couple has an edge on happiness, but out of the four of them, Jessa is most likely living the life closest to what she imagined.

I think Derick is actually fine with give and take with Jill.  There seems to now be a bit of a flow between them, a reliance on the other stepping up to guide where they have more knowledge or experience.   I genuinely think Derick went in with the expectation that they were going to be a partnership and was confused why Jill wasn't rising to that -- and I think frustrated when she was so clingy and expected to be joined at the hip with him every minute and lost and upset if she was left on her own.   I don't think they truly knew those types of details about each other going in, and I don't think Derick understood to look for them.   Circumstances seem to have brought them both to a place where they became aware there were a great many cliffs and drop offs between them they'd never seen, and then a recognition that they needed to find a way to bridge the gaps.   Seems to be a work in progress, but at least some signs of actual progress. 

Jessa is determined to keep her grip on the aspects of her marriage that are just as she wants them.   What she fails to realize is, that while she got the mostly compliant cute puppy she wanted, the puppy is now larger, needs a bigger yard and surroundings to keep him out of trouble caused by boredom at being pent up and on a too short leash.   Despite her desire to completely dominate and not have to compromise, the flip side is that means she's married to someone she can't respect, who doesn't represent manliness in her eyes.   And now the damn puppy acts up more and more, attempts to dig his way out of the yard, and takes a dump in the house now and then as a show of rebellion.   I expect Jessa may just  solve the problem by gripping tighter and tighter, while Ben gnaws away at the leash.    Will he eventually attempt to slip out of the collar itself?   If he ever manages to see there is in fact somewhere to run to it wouldn't be terribly surprising to me if he doesn't make a break for it.   He was very half baked as a human when he jumped in way over his head to all the commitment and responsibility   His maturing might bring realizations that his real adult self needs to be elsewhere and all the things he thought were important were just a kid exploring and not the end destination he once thought.   Jessa has no insight into herself and doesn't have any thought to consider pursuing anything deeper and broader than her day to day existence as it is, possibly just with more children and a bit larger living quarters.

[Minivanessa]

@Tikichick - I wish I could "like" your post more than once. Great insights.

I'll probably think of Ben as a dog from now on - I won't be able to help myself! 🤣   🐶

[SMama]

10 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Jessa's such a cold fish. I imagine Ben has buyer's remorse. 

I recall watching part of an episode where two of Ben’s sisters taught Jessa how to make his favorite meal. I think it was pasta with Alfredo sauce and some kind of pie.

During the TH Ben complimented Jessa. Said something along the lines of how good it was to see Jessa cooking with “her hair all done up.” Weird because she had that awful mop loose. 
 

Jessa said Ben’s sisters told her about when Ben was a child, then quipped “it was last year.” It went right over Ben’s head.

I wonder how often Jessa cooks Ben’s favorite meal, looking pretty, with her hair all done up. Buyer’s remorse indeed. 

[rue721]

I don't feel bad for Ben at all. He has spent his time taking classes and working out and farting around the Duggar homestead, while leaving all the work -- including bringing in the money and taking care of the kids and the house -- to Jessa. It's clearly too much for her to handle, and yet he doesn't pick up the slack, he just gives her a sour look and goes for a run.

Sorry but I have no sympathy. If he hates how he lives, he can change it. He's got an education and his family is supportive of their kids finding jobs and living fairly mainstream lives. He's ostensibly the head of his household and can decide on a whim to change whatever he wants to change and Jessa frankly won't be able to do a damn thing about it, because her family would no doubt tell her "leave and cleave" and she has no resources or education of her own to rely on.

I would make different choices than Jessa, but from what I see, she is pulling all the weight in their little family while Ben drifts along acting entitled and bitter. Between the two of them, it's Jessa who I feel bad for, what with her dead weight of a husband that she is frantically trying to keep afloat.

[Tikichick]

36 minutes ago, rue721 said:

I don't feel bad for Ben at all. He has spent his time taking classes and working out and farting around the Duggar homestead, while leaving all the work -- including bringing in the money and taking care of the kids and the house -- to Jessa. It's clearly too much for her to handle, and yet he doesn't pick up the slack, he just gives her a sour look and goes for a run.

Sorry but I have no sympathy. If he hates how he lives, he can change it. He's got an education and his family is supportive of their kids finding jobs and living fairly mainstream lives. He's ostensibly the head of his household and can decide on a whim to change whatever he wants to change and Jessa frankly won't be able to do a damn thing about it, because her family would no doubt tell her "leave and cleave" and she has no resources or education of her own to rely on.

I would make different choices than Jessa, but from what I see, she is pulling all the weight in their little family while Ben drifts along acting entitled and bitter. Between the two of them, it's Jessa who I feel bad for, what with her dead weight of a husband that she is frantically trying to keep afloat.

It wasn't really about feeling sorry for Ben, more a perspective on what their dynamic looks like.   What we don't know is, what was the understanding they had about how they were going to manage financially going in.   Another area of particular interest would have to be, what was the understanding of their financial picture post scandal, and then subsequently when the show was retooled as Counting On, specifically featuring Jessa and Ben in "lead roles"?    We know Derick is disgruntled to say the least.   Does some of Ben's change in demeanor emanate from the same dissatisfaction or disillusion?  Ben is a full participant in the show, not just Jessa.

As far as Ben having options due to his supportive family and his education, I'm not so sure.   Don't his folks have some strong beliefs?   Now that Ben is in fact a married father of soon to be four, how does that impact what choices Ben has that they would be supportive of?    How worthwhile is Ben's education?   Can it buy him a cup of coffee?   I don't know what the answers are, but they have to be looked at to realistically evaluate and speculate on his situation, even without a sympathetic lens.  

[GeeGolly]

It doesn't seem to me the Seewald's are struggling financially at all. I don't think Jessa goes a week without making a purchase.  And she seems to use SM as a way to stay relevant, but doesn't post all that much. Maybe she averages a post a week or less. 

I think Jessa's and the kids' appearance reflects more of Jessa's childhood than it does her state of mind. 

IMO, Jessa is content hanging at home and hanging at the TTH. And actually I'm guessing Ben is with them more often than not. They don't want anyone to know it though. They seem hell-bent on making it look like Ben has a 9 - 5. Every video Jessa makes, Ben is "just getting home", or has to "leave". He will either have keys or a briefcase with him. I hardly think that's a coincidence. Its Jessa manipulating haters.

[Absolom]

Isn't Ben a youth pastor or some kind of associate pastor at a church in their area?  I know I read that somewhere.  Possibly the one where Jessa was redoing the nursery?

[GeeGolly]

54 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Isn't Ben a youth pastor or some kind of associate pastor at a church in their area?  I know I read that somewhere.  Possibly the one where Jessa was redoing the nursery?

Yes, or maybe. I'm not sure the post was clear that he was hired or just achieved pastorhood (word?). 

[ginger90]

From the Seewald family post (Jessa, Ben , and the Duggar family have not acknowledged this on social media, to my knowledge) :

[Spazamanaz]

I am really starting to HATE the word 'precious '. 

[Westiepeach]

14 minutes ago, Spazamanaz said:

I am really starting to HATE the word 'precious '. 

Agreed.

[DangerousMinds]

46 minutes ago, Spazamanaz said:

I am really starting to HATE the word 'precious '. 

I’ve hated it for many years. Also the words “blessed” and “journey.”

[ozziemom]

9 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

I’ve hated it for many years. Also the words “blessed” and “journey.”

And season of life

[skatelady]

2 hours ago, Spazamanaz said:

I am really starting to HATE the word 'precious '. 

[QuinnInND]

Precious church? Really? 🙄

[louannems]

3 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

I’ve hated it for many years. Also the words “blessed” and “journey.”

Don't forget sweet.  As in our sweet baby (used when describing a 7 weeks fetus), our sweet friends (people they see once a year), and, of course, sweet fellowship (used to describe singing hymns with said sweet friends, or baby-making activities).

[riverblue22]

My guess is that Ben is the kind of pastor that doesn't make a living doing that, like the Caldwell dad.  You have to have your own income of some sort in addition to the low-or no-paying pastoral duties.  I guess that's where the teaching and toilet cleaning at "The Big House" comes in handy.

ETA : Based on Ben's efforts to educate his sons with Bible stories when they wanted to watch tv while on vacation, I have a feeling he is a very boring teacher.

Edited March 11, 2021 by riverblue22

[ozziemom]

1 hour ago, riverblue22 said:

My guess is that Ben is the kind of pastor that doesn't make a living doing that, like the Caldwell dad.  You have to have your own income of some sort in addition to the low-or no-paying pastoral duties.  I guess that's where the teaching and toilet cleaning at "The Big House" comes in handy.

ETA : Based on Ben's efforts to educate his sons with Bible stories when they wanted to watch tv while on vacation, I have a feeling he is a very boring teacher.

Ben has an annoying voice to me. Especially when he’s talking to the kids. I don’t know if it’s the pitch or his inflection or what, but I can’t imagine listening to him teach or preach.

[emmawoodhouse]

Ben is preaching at Immanuel Baptist in Springdale. His latest sermon (3/7) is posted on the website. 

Edited March 11, 2021 by emmawoodhouse
Added date

[DangerousMinds]

50 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Ben is preaching at Immanuel Baptist in Springdale. His latest sermon is posted on the website. 

The church’s statement on marriage and sexuality is disturbing.

[emmawoodhouse]

25 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

The church’s statement on marriage and sexuality is disturbing.

It is, indeed. Not that we expected anything different from these people.

[Temperance]

13 hours ago, Absolom said:

Isn't Ben a youth pastor or some kind of associate pastor at a church in their area?  I know I read that somewhere.  Possibly the one where Jessa was redoing the nursery?

Ben is a pastor. Here is a link to what I think are his sermons. I haven't listened to them. 

If you scroll down, you can see he's been doing this for some time. 

[GeeGolly]

40 minutes ago, Temperance said:

Ben is a pastor. Here is a link to what I think are his sermons. I haven't listened to them. 

If you scroll down, you can see he's been doing this for some time. 

If we go by the sermons posted, it appears he started preaching weekly last June.

As someone mentioned upthread and has been discussed previously, it seems likely this wouldn't be their primary source of income. How much time does the average preacher take to come up with a sermon? And does Ben need to make himself available to counsel parishioners?

I wonder if Jeremy feels extra pressure to get a good gig since his less educated BIL is already employed in the field. Will Jeremy's Master's Degree give him an edge on employment and pay?

Or is it more like being a therapist or teacher where starting pay almost never matches the time, effort and cost of education requirements?

[GeeGolly]

The church has one service only: 10:30AM on Sundays.

So it appears Ben is their only preacher.

@Zella, is the church close to the Seewald's house?

[ginger90]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

The church has one service only: 10:30AM on Sundays.

So it appears Ben is their only preacher.

@Zella, is the church close to the Seewald's house?

Looks like it’s about a 15 minute drive.

[Tikichick]

If Ben is engaged in teaching and preaching the word of the Lord without compensation, surely JB should be willing to put his money where his mouth is and support this very important work. 

[Minivanessa]

5 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

If Ben is engaged in teaching and preaching the word of the Lord without compensation, surely JB should be willing to put his money where his mouth is and support this very important work. 

Do we know that JB doesn't support it?

[Tikichick]

16 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Do we know that JB doesn't support it?

Nope.   Just pointing out how Ben should be able to earn a living doing this.