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Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House


Message added by Scarlett45

The Duggars post about politics on social media frequently, but these social media posts are not an invitation to discuss politics here in this forum. This rule extends to Duggar adjacent families, friends, associates etc. Such discussions are a violation of the Politics Policy. 

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss certain social media postings of those in the Duggar realm as they relate to politics- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

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5 hours ago, lascuba said:

Oh, I agree that Ben has been bowed down by the Duggars in many respects, but I think Jessa has been too, and sure, she might be the tool JB uses to keep Ben in the fold, but that's because JB has tools to control her, and he's been using those tools since she was born. With regards to their relationship outside of the Duggar drama (if it's even possible to separate the two), Ben is the one with the power. He might be easily cowed and sullen that his life didn't turn out as he wished, but if he had the temperament, he could just  throw down the headship card and be done with it. There's evidence that he's done it before or, at the very least, Jessa chose to give in to avoid that card being thrown. Spurgeon's name is the most obvious example of this--Jessa clearly loathed it and I'd bet cash that the reason they delayed so long in announcing the  name was because they were arguing about it before Jessa gave in. Even back in their courtship days, Jessa stopped being honest about her lack of excitement over his romantic gestures after Michelle reprimanded her for it. I don't think those are isolated incidences; I think it's become a pattern where Jessa stifles herself or gives in, but she's still Jessa so it's not enough for him, and he's become increasingly bitter that he doesn't have the sweet, docile wife he'd assume a Duggar girl would be.

Those two are fundamentally incompatible, because it's not that Ben's "laid back," it's that he's passive and can't handle any type of push back with grace or honesty. And Jessa might be obnoxious, but I know people as strong willed as she is, and they're at their best when they get reasonable push back from people who can handle disagreement. Instead what they have is Ben saying something, Jessa disagreeing, and Ben going along with it because he's thrown by the fact that his ideas aren't met with simpering. So Jessa gets her way, but she gets a husband who's increasingly sullen and distant, so she gives in in ways she think will help, and now they're both miserable.

If Ben weren't fundie, he'd be the guy complaining that he gets "friendzoned" for being a "Nice Guy." He just has that vibe, which is why, in this contest between two unlikable people, I like him less.

Yet on social media, Jessa is the one who can’t handle any kind of pushback or even just slightly different opinions. She immediately gets defensive. Instead of interacting with others, her only response is to just block. Bin, on the other hand, was able to and seemed interested in having conversations on social media, even when the other posters didn’t agree with him. (That’s WHEN Bin was still allowed to post and interact on social media.)

Edited by DangerousMinds
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3 hours ago, lascuba said:

You're absolutely right.

There's something so incredibly sad to me--that stands out in a sea of sad--about someone with Jessa's personality being so afraid of the world.

She enjoys being a big fish in a very small pond. Even though she been losing that big fish status for years.

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Ivy is going to be a very pretty girl, I think. As with many beauties, it's taken her a longer time to grow into her face, and she is likely to still  have a couple of rough periods. Some are just born pretty and manage to stay that course, but others need time to bloom. She actually has a bit of Josie about her in these photos, and I may be in the minority, but I also think that Josie will someday be an exceptionally pretty girl/woman. Of course, the ultimate effect on someone's beauty is so often based in their personality, so whatever facial structure one inherits can either be enhanced or practically cancelled by who the person inside really is.

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1 hour ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

 I also think that Josie will someday be an exceptionally pretty girl/woman. 

I agree. I remember seeing childhood pics of Michelle, and Josie could be her identical twin. I think the odds are in her favor, as all the Duggar daughters are varying degrees of attractive. Some had really long awkward phases (Jinger, Jill) but they all came out well post-puberty. The Duggar sons on the other hand....

 

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15 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

Yet on social media, Jessa is the one who can’t handle any kind of pushback or even just slightly different opinions. She immediately gets defensive. Instead of interacting with others, her only response is to just block. Bin, on the other hand, was able to and seemed interested in having conversations on social media, even when the other posters didn’t agree with him. (That’s WHEN Bin was still allowed to post and interact on social media.)

Interestingly enough, somewhat similar to Jill's response to differing opinions with Derick about how old the Earth is.

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23 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

Yet on social media, Jessa is the one who can’t handle any kind of pushback or even just slightly different opinions. She immediately gets defensive. Instead of interacting with others, her only response is to just block. Bin, on the other hand, was able to and seemed interested in having conversations on social media, even when the other posters didn’t agree with him. (That’s WHEN Bin was still allowed to post and interact on social media.)

There is a huge difference between how one takes comments from strangers on the internet and from those they're in some kind of relationship with, and when that relationship is a marriage with patriarchal rule set in stone? It makes zero sense to me to conflate social media behavior with real life.

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4 minutes ago, Madtown said:

Spurgeon's hair is awful and Henry's isn't any better. Jessa will probably cut their hair for their entire life, so it will always look like it does now.

I get that she likes the tousled curls on the boys and is 100% on board with girls' hair being long but, if she wants her kids to have high maintenance "looks," she's going to have to do the maintenance. She won't, of course, and they'll grow up looking as unkept and uncared-for as their aunts and uncles.

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16 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

So, I'm minding my business, switching between March Madness and a baseball game. I have the baseball game on and am forced to pay special attention when the pitcher, dude named Sewald (pronounced the same as double e) faces the batter, a guy named Duggar. 

I had to turn the channel. 😂

I think of this forum every time he is in the game.  (I hope they do better opening day!)

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6 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

Steven Duggar is an outfielder for the Giants!!  They're my team!!

 Oh, that shows how much attention I paid to the game. The M's won. Oops! 

Go A's! 😀

Edited by emmawoodhouse
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1 minute ago, emmawoodhouse said:

See my edited post. I aa the teams ass backwards! 

HaHa.  Easy to do when it is a game that doesn't count.  I still think of this forum whenever Duggar is playing, though.  It sort of makes me sad that "our" Duggars won't ever have a chance to excel at anything. (except at being sloths)

Giants play the A's tomorrow at 1:05, I think in SF.  That's always a good game.

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They're playing the Bay Bridge series in Arizona. Kruk and Kuip are the only TV broadcast. 

So happy there are no Duggars or Seewalds on the A's. Or Spurgeons on the Sharks. At least that's a last name, as originally intended. 

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8 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

They're playing the Bay Bridge series in Arizona. Kruk and Kuip are the only TV broadcast. 

So happy there are no Duggars or Seewalds on the A's. Or Spurgeons on the Sharks. At least that's a last name, as originally intended. 

Of course, you're right.  I guess I'm too anxious for next week!  I guess since it's a "home game", the Giant's announcers are on.  I'm always surprised when I hear Kuip's brother on the A's broadcasts.  They sound a lot alike to me.

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4 minutes ago, Pingaponga said:

That's a standing desk? It looks like a regular-height desk.

I believe it's adjustable. I have something similar. Mine is usually cranked up to standing height but I can lower it if I want to sit. I love it.

ETA Ben tagged the furniture makers in his post, an Arkansas company. My adjustable standing desk - with a similar looking base -is the "Original Mod Table" hand crank model from https://www.multitable.com/. You can order just the base and use your own top or order one of their tops. 

Edited by Jeeves
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20 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

I totes missed the cinder block wall! 

What a dreary space.

I'm pretty sure that Ben thinks it's excellent, since he gets to get away from the Mold House and have some privacy. 

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59 minutes ago, Nysha said:

I'm pretty sure that Ben thinks it's excellent, since he gets to get away from the Mold House and have some privacy. 

just not sharing an office with the bunk bed with queen lower bunk guest bed and a toddler bed would be a great improvement

 

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3 minutes ago, awaken said:

Why is the standing desk pictured at regular height, with a chair? And what great work did  James do, other than set a desk, chair, and plant in a cinderblock room?

James Duggar didn't do anything. He's thanking the furniture company. 😀

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4 hours ago, awaken said:

Why is the standing desk pictured at regular height, with a chair? 

Yes, that's a very strange choice. When I got my sit-stand desk. I immediately took video of it "in action" to show off! 

That's  a nice-looking desk, but I think the chair is uuuuugleee. And boo to the sad, windowless  cinderblock walls. 

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