S08.E03: The Biggest Boob

[Tara Ariano]

Dorinda confronts Ramona as mayhem from a lingerie party continues. Also, John arrives at the party and gears up for battle with Bethenny. Later, the ladies try to relax in the Hamptons to celebrate Bethenny's birthday, yet past dramas come into play.

[whydoievencare]

My god, Bethenny thinks everything that comes out of her mouth is pure gold.  She's exhausting, not entertaining.  It's gonna be a long season.

[Chicklet]

The title of this episode should be "What's the matter with Dorinda?".

She's a loon to put up with John.

[swankie]

Dorinda is really stupid.  This is clearly a case of kill the messenger.  She just totally ignored the fact that John was talking smack about her.  To be more mad at Ramona than she is of John is just ridiculous.  He's a turd and she must like turds.  That's fine.  But don't go after your friend for trying to let you know that he talks shit about your sex life to anyone who will listen.  He's just using you to try to make himself look like less of a turd.  But he's still a turd nonetheless!

 

And emaciated Jules can kick rocks calling these women elderly.  They are not old enough to be your mother you stupid See You Next Tuesday!!!  Well, maybe Ramona, Luann, Carole and Sonya are, but they don't look it.  They may be older than you, but every last one of them looks 10 years younger than you Skeletor!

Edited April 21, 2016 by swankie

[bosawks]

I always enjoy watching a Beth/HoWife skirmish. It just looks like someone trying to have a tea party in a sewer.

[jkitty]

My god, Bethenny thinks everything that comes out of her mouth is pure gold. She's exhausting, not entertaining. It's gonna be a long season.

Gah, maybe I'm the worst but I love her. And I get a weird, sick pleasure watching her go head to head with John. It's like watching her at her core.

[Chicklet]

What is too much for Dorinda? I really thought she would have broken up with him after all that. How much free dry cleaning could she possibly be getting? He's gross.

[jkitty]

Dorinda is really stupid. This is clearly a case of kill the messenger. She just totally ignored the fact that John was talking smack about her. To be more mad at Ramona than she is of John is just ridiculous. He's a turd and she must like turds. That's fine. But don't go after your friend for trying to let you know that he talks shit about your sex life to anyone who will listen. He's just using you to try to make himself look like less of a turd. But he's still a turd nonetheless!

.

If this was real life and your good friend gave you the message in a large group of people you knew at varying levels, I could see being embarrassed and pissed at her for not telling you privately. But this is housewives so .... Yeah, nothing is sacred. All her anger should be at John.

[Maire]

I cheered when Bethenny put ice in her glass from the ice bucket that Jules washed her hands and arms off in last week!! Ha ha! Hope your drink was extra fishy Bethenney!

[snowblossom2]

I could not follow the John-Bethanny argument. How did skinnygirl come up and comparing it to skinnycow? What was Bethanny referring to when she said this was the problem between the two (after the skinnycow comment)

[njbchlover]

The title of this episode should be "What's the matter with Dorinda?".

She's a loon to put up with John.

 

OTOH, he's also putting up with her.  They are both very messy drunks.

[islandgal140]

Everyone is talking about the John/Bethenny confrontation, I'm just reeling from the NYC rental prices. $22k a month?!?!?  A MONTH!  

 

Show needed more Sonja and Lu apartment shopping and less Bethenny, who is basically the show's narrator. 

 

Consistently innovating at Skinnygirl is selling and/or promoting protein shakes and bars at Union Square with some kind of bus display?!?!    'kay.

[Straycat80]

Gah, maybe I'm the worst but I love her. And I get a weird, sick pleasure watching her go head to head with John. It's like watching her at her core.

Me too. She put up with no shit from John. I'm assuming there was some legal problems between her calling her brand Skinny Girl and the person who created Skinny Cow. I don't know, I'm guessing here.

Dorinda must have low self esteem if she's going to put up with a jerk like John. She loves the guy, so I guess everyone should just drop it. I hope this season doesn't ride too much on Dorinda and John or it's going to be one lost ass season.

So far I'm not feeling this season. Jules is boring. Carole so far is boring, I zoned out during the scene she was talking about Baby's poop. I'm ok with hardly any Sonja and Countless scenes so far. Hope this picks up.

[EtheltoTillie]

That was a pretty cheesy apartment. Did you notice the builder's grade stove and those fake parquet floors? What happened to the nice Upper West Side apartment Lu had last year? I once looked at a coop with that real estate agent. She was actually nice.

[njbchlover]

The only thing I have so far about tonight's episode is that I am totally in love and obsessed with the jacket that Dorinda was wearing at the apology dinner with Ramona and Bethenny.  I would love to know more about it (I wonder if it's a true Chanel jacket?)  It was stunning and she looked great wearing it! 

[SCS]

Everyone is talking about the John/Bethenny confrontation, I'm just reeling from the NYC rental prices. $22k a month?!?!?  A MONTH!  

 

Show needed more Sonja and Lu apartment shopping and less Bethenny, who is basically the show's narrator. 

 

 

 

Yep, watching that scene all (alls?) I could think was, "Really? You're trying to convince us that Lu could float those rents?" I didn't mind the RE agent friend. Maybe tonite was her audition and she'll be holding an apple next season.

[TexasGal]

Is the new girl really that dim, or is she one of those women who thinks its cute to act dumb? Either way, I'm over her. Also over the skinny comparison among her, Carole and Bethenny.

So I've had plenty of friends who went out with guys I didn't like. Thankfully there was never any actual danger involved, so I've always just zipped it. They generally out themselves as asses and they disappear. But I guess that's the difference between actual friends and housewives friends. Oh, and Ramona. It's ridiculous that both Ramona and Lisa V on BH have to be taught how to apologize, and then rehearse said apology.

[RedheadZombie]

I'm with Carole - the very fact that Jules leads with "but I get my period every 30 days" is disturbing.

More disturbing is the comment that skinny can never be anything but positive.

[HunterHunted]

My god, Bethenny thinks everything that comes out of her mouth is pure gold. She's exhausting, not entertaining. It's gonna be a long season.

What really got to me was that Bethenny acted like her criticism of John came from a place of love and caring for Dorinda. Bethenny is a shady asshole who always has to reinforce that she's the bottom bitch. Even with Jules, who was probably only a couple of weeks into filming and rightly conflicted about betraying Dorinda, Bethenny has to call Jules special needs because Jules didn't immediately jump into the phone convo. Admittedly, Jules does not come across as bright, but just think about how much funnier Porsha's underground railroad gaffe played because no one was calling her a dumbass in real-time.

This is going to be a long season. Also did a rabbinical scholar rule that Sonja and LuAnn are treif, non kosher, and that's why they aren't filming with the rest of the women?

Edited April 21, 2016 by HunterHunted

[rustyspigot]

So Carole's contribution this week was walking her dog and talking about poop. Zzzzz.

[islandgal140]

Lawd, did B really think that Dorinda was going to break up with John because of their confrontation at the hotel?!!? Really high opinion of herself and her influence.

 

I think John is skeevy too and he was wrong for the way he confronted B with that weak ass ammo while drunk/high. However, I believe John does have the right to have words with anyone who talks shit about him - just not like that. 

 

I legit had trouble following that fight. 

 

Not a great fan of Dorinda and I think she is wasting her time and spirit on John, but I am a fan of how she gets both Bethenny and Ramona all the way together. I can't be mad at a grown ass woman saying firmly that this is her choice, if this is a mistake let me make it and you don't like, go shit in the ocean. Bethenny and Ramona said their peace, their views are known and now they need to step the hell off and let Dorinda live her life. 

 

Bethenny was an asshole to Jules on the phone. Don't begrudge her for rolling her eyes and being a bit impatient because Jules does seem slow on the uptake but the special needs stuff is beyond the pale. 

 

Jules Hampton home is beautiful. 

 

B's hair looks so much healthier and fuller with her new cut. Girls got great gams too! 

 

Jules' son makes me glad I don't have kids. 

 

I know more about Carole's dog bowel movements and their consistency than necessary. 

[anonymiss]

Bethenny has lost me. She really is an insecure, miserable, racist. She's civil to Jules' face but can't contain her contempt for her. First she says, "I doubt she can even count to 10." And then, "It's like English is her second language." There's no ambiguity there.

 

Jules is kind of a bimbo but she's a sane, pleasant one. I shared her bafflement over why Bethenny needed to rehash her dressing down of John. It's true: Bethenny thrives on nastiness.

 

I don't see the cardinal sin over what John allegedly said in earshot of Ramona. He was being disrespectful--bragging about Dorinda like she's some random conquest. But it wasn't like he was talking negatively about her, just inappropriately. Also, did not see how John "verbally attacked" that B. I did see that she was smugly picking a fight with him, dressing him down with her eyes and nasty words. And she and the group have been doing it since his start. I don't buy B's concern for a second. She just wanted to feel even more smug and self-important than she already does. Also she seems like a misandrist now after what happened w/ Jason. But now I might not blame Jason for wanting to spite her as much as he can.

Edited April 21, 2016 by Lisin

[Bronzedog]

If Carole keeps talking about dog poop, they're going to have to transfer her to the Real Housewives of Dallas, the poop 24/7 franchise.

[Pepperminty]

Dorinda is just an aging drunk. With money.

She must want John because he's as much of an addict as she is and she is crushingly lonely. How sad. Otherwise, why would she just be mad at Ramona instead of John, who caused the entire situation anyway by running his fat mouth? (she can't REALLY like sleeping with him, he's fat and therefore would sweat a lot in bed (gross) and he's got an ugly face and he is probably majorly hairy (also gross))

 

Bethenny going toe to toe with John was fabulous TV.

The reason why B was upset was that John was implying through "SkinnyCow" that she had stolen the idea. He's an idiot. I loved her quip, "See, you're a cow and I'm a girl, that's the difference" (or something like that)

 

I'm not into skinny shaming (I wish I had more skinniness in my life) but Jules is beyond the pale. I think she is either lying about getting her period OR it's solely due to birth control (hormone pills).

[biakbiak]

And then, "It's like English is her second language." There's no ambiguity there.

Especially after last week saying she didn't say anything to her about the ice bucket because she doesn't speak Japanese.

Edited April 21, 2016 by biakbiak

[swankie]

Especially after last week saying she didn't say anything to her about the ice bucket because she doesn't speak Japanese.

 

Bethenny definitely went into Vicki Gunvalson's, "No scratchie the woodie" territory when she made those statements about Jules and the ice bucket.  Not good.  Not good at all.  She went too far with that shit.  Bethenny's diarrhea of the mouth is starting to stink.  She'd better watch it.

Edited April 21, 2016 by swankie

[chick binewski]

My usual stance on Ramona is that she's a loon, but I felt really sorry for her this episode. Dorinda is so determined to either side with, explain or have a scene with Bethenny that she will just dismiss Ramona for recounting a situation regarding John. Maybe I'm seeing something that's not there but I truly believe Ramona is afraid for her friend. Dorinda is over 50 with half a brain at least, but I believe she is still a grieving widow. With money. And a boyfriend who is cause for a divide with her daughter. That is a really crappy situation that can end up costing Dorinda for the rest of her life. I think Ramona sees it not only as an issue of respect but as one of financial security as well.

 

Favorite line of the episode? "He's Skinny COW - two words. I'm SkinnyGIRL - one word." I hope Sonja's lawyers are taking copious notes for her "Tipsy Girl" case, as Tipsy Girl is two words and neither one of them is Skinny.

 

And finally, yet another Jason insinuation/comparison. We saw what - three seasons? - of Jason and I think if he ever exhibited anything close to John's behavior Bethenny would have made sure it was on Page Six years ago. Hell, she probably would have demanded Andy do a special hour-long WWHL regarding his abusive offenses.  

 

ETA: Is it wrong that I really want to be there when Jules has her first series of hot flashes, sleepless nights, inexplicable fatigue and total disbelief that her body has seemingly become her enemy? If the woman can't figure out how to make coffee she's gonna be at wit's end when she realizes perimenopause can last 10 years. 

Edited April 21, 2016 by chick binewski

[Luciano]

I cracked up at the look Bethenny was giving Dorinda when the latter was ranting and cursing about not wanting to stay in Ramona's Hampton house.

 

"What are we, in Goodfellas?"

 

John's so gross.

Edited April 21, 2016 by Luciano

[rustyspigot]

 

Favorite line of the episode? "He's Skinny COW - two words. I'm SkinnyGIRL - one word." I hope Sonja's lawyers are taking copious notes for her "Tipsy Girl" case, as Tipsy Girl is two words and neither one of them is Skinny.

 

OH! Good point. Random intern better make a note of that on Computer 3.

[Trooper York]

I can understand how John could be confused. Bethenny is a skinny cow.

A skinny cow who can't maintain a relationship and has no right to lecture anyone about stable healthy relationships.

[HunterHunted]

I don't know why Carole is so irritated by LuAnn's condemnation of Carole's relationship with Adam. LuAnn clearly has an issue with people in their 50s being in romantic relationships with people in their late 20s and 30s, like how she was so disgusted by Kelly's marriage to Gilles, Sonja's marriage to old man Morgan, and LuAnn's own marriage to Alexandre. Oh wait...LuAnn has never expressed that she had an issue with older men dating younger women. LuAnn only has issues with older women dating younger men. LuAnn isn't a girl's girl. She's a sexist.

[BlackMamba]

LOL.. Jules really called Bethenny and Dorinda "The Elderly". That was funny but how old is Jules? She's not that far off from Bethenny's age..

I fuckin couldn't stand or take Bethenny and Ramona. It's like these two lame ass single bitches trying devise a plan to broke up Dorinda and John. The point is they don't have to like John and John doesn't have to like them but in the end respect Dorinda's choice to be with him and she's happy then who are you, Bethenny, to try and force her to dump him. It just amazes me how this woman was the dating expert last year and now she wants to be the breakup artist!

Oh lovely Bethenny will be the real estate expert next week. I swear this woman has an opinion for every fucking thing. I look forward to see Jules shutting Bethenny's trap if that's next week.

Edited April 21, 2016 by BlackMamba

[breezy424]

OH God.  Here we go again. 

 

What resonated with me most was Beth, once again, getting a bill regarding her divorce.  The divorce has cost her millions.  Maybe you should have just settled instead of being obsessed with 'winning'.  That's what an astute business person (and you've certainly have declared yourself one) would have done.  And the preview for next week showed us once again Beth preaching to someone she doesn't really know (Jules) that her purchase of her Hamptons house was a bad investment. 

 

Beth's comments about the other housewives are so over the line.  Honey, you're more f'd up than all of them.  We've watched you for how many years?

 

I couldn't stand Dorinda last season and I can't stand her this season.  She's a sloppy drunk and a hypocrite.  I do understand her being angry with Ro because they do have a friendship and it was a betrayal bringing up John's behavior in a situation that was not filmed. 

[BlackMamba]

Why do these women want to fuck Carole? But I'm sorry if I sound shallow but what is so hot about Carole?? I don't get it.

I can understand how John could be confused. Bethenny is a skinny cow.

A skinny cow who can't maintain a relationship and has no right to lecture anyone about stable healthy relationships.

He hit the nail on the head. If Bethenny had a man she wouldn't be in Dorinda's relationship with John and break it up. She should take notes from Jules a woman who's married and moved on after the party.

Not to mention, she was antagonizing John into a fight. She was all like take your scarf off to talk to her. Really bitch?? Who made you in charge! Again Bethenny has no respect.

Edited April 21, 2016 by BlackMamba

[Trooper York]

Let's review this episode shall we?

Ramona decides to hit Dorinda with some second hand gossip about how John talks about her. She uses crude sex talk to try to shame into breaking up with the man she says she is in love with.

Bethany accuses John of doing cocaine. On National television. Accusing someone with a business that requires some degree of trust with abusing illegal drugs. Not once but several times.

Bethenny expects Dorinda to break up John because she thinks she should. And she demands an apology.

Bethenny states that Jules is mentally challenged and racially challenged because she doesn't immediately take her side in the argument. The same women whose husband she mocked last episode for his height.

The problem of course is that the two women who stood up to her last year were fired.

This is going to be one crappy season.

Edited April 21, 2016 by Trooper York

[izabella]

Has everyone refused to film with Luann and Sonja?  Is that what is happening?  And why is Luann homeless this season?

 

Why is John the main storyline so far?   The best they've got is B and Ramona trying to break up Dorinda and John's relationship?  Feeling burned now, Dorinda?

[Teddybear]

I love when Bethenny told John "I can't with the Snoopy scarf."  That stuff's not scripted; sometimes she's funny despite her mean streak.  Why all the nastiness on the phone call with Jules?  

 

Was Jules's swimming pool right off the living room?  Wouldn't it smell like chlorine?  

[OhGromit]

Has everyone refused to film with Luann and Sonja?  Is that what is happening?  

No--Luann and Sonja were contract holdouts.  So the season started filming before Luann and Sonja had actually signed on for the season.  Looks like production filmed scenes with Luann and Sonja (post-contract) which are being spliced into the season.  Thus, the scenes with Luann and Sonja actually took place quite a bit later than the other scenes into which they're spliced, but that's the magic of TV, folks!  

[WireWrap]

No--Luann and Sonja were contract holdouts.  So the season started filming before Luann and Sonja had actually signed on for the season.  Looks like production filmed scenes with Luann and Sonja (post-contract) which are being spliced into the season.  Thus, the scenes with Luann and Sonja actually took place quite a bit later than the other scenes into which they're spliced, but that's the magic of TV, folks!  

I read/heard that Ramona was a hold out as well but signed right before filming was to begin, just like she did a few years ago! LOL

[UsernameFatigue]

Thank goodness for Bethenny or I don't know if I could last the season. Her comments during the coversation with Jules had me laughing out loud - maybe because I was thinking the same things Bethenny was saying. Jules barely seems able to complete a coherent sentence.

 

But the most bizzare scene of the whole epi for me was Jules and her hubby in the vehicle. The kids are way in the back in car seats, and there is some weird high partition between the parents in the front and the nanny and kids in the back. The nanny was behind the hubby's seat, facing the children. I don't know why Jules was going on and on about all she had to pack for the children. Doubtful that she does any of it with the nanny there. She really is insufferable.

Edited April 21, 2016 by UsernameFatigue

[breezy424]

Oh...  And what's with Jules and the 'elderly' comment?  What is it with this label and some of these housewives?  Yeah, let's dismiss someone because of their age.  Question to Jules:  At what age does someone become 'elderly'?  I only ask because I want to send you a birthday card when 'you' turn this age and then maybe you will see what a ridiculous, immature statement you made.  You are far from being all that.  And you're parenting skills are pretty....  So before throwing out labels, you really need to take a look at yourself.  But then again, you think skinny is....   You need a lot of growing and maturing. 

[BlackMamba]

Bethenny states that Jules is mentally challenged and racially challenged because she doesn't immediately take her side in the argument. The same women whose husband she mocked last episode for his height.

Of course Jules had to be mentally challenged because she didn't join in the pile on about John. Then Bethenny goes into her bag of fuckery "As a woman should you be offended" umm why because he talked to you that way. You were adding gasoline to the fire the minute John came up to the apartment. Jules has no loyalties to Bethenny why the hell should she defend her??

[ichbin]

What kind of vehicle were Jules and her husband riding in on the way to the Hamptons?  At first it looked like the kids row of seats was unusually far back.  Then I saw who I'm guessing was a nanny seating behind the husband facing the kids.    Considering the empty indoor pool I'm glad there was another set of eyes to keep an eye on the children.  

 

Why do these women want to fuck Carole? But I'm sorry if I sound shallow but what is so hot about Carole?? I don't get it.
 

You're not alone having that question.

[UsernameFatigue]

Was Jules's swimming pool right off the living room?  Wouldn't it smell like chlorine?

 

Not to mention there didn't seem to be any partition (unlike the one in the car - lol) separating the room with the big hole for the swimming pool. Seems rather dangerous with two little kids there. Good thing they brought the nanny.....

 

Edited to add - ha ichbin, we had the same feelings regarding the vehicle and the pool.

Edited April 21, 2016 by UsernameFatigue

[swankie]

ETA: Is it wrong that I really want to be there when Jules has her first series of hot flashes, sleepless nights, inexplicable fatigue and total disbelief that her body has seemingly become her enemy? If the woman can't figure out how to make coffee she's gonna be at wit's end when she realizes perimenopause can last 10 years.

 

 

Also she'll be at wit's end if she goes into menopause early.  I have friends who started in their early 40's.  If it happens to Jules it would be so much lovely karma.

 

The nanny was behind the hubby's seat, facing the children. I don't know why Jules was going on and on about all she had to pack for the children. Doubtful that she does any of it with the nanny there. She really is insufferable.

 

 

Did I hear her say she had to pack diapers?  If that kid is still in diapers, Jules is an even worse mother than she seems to be on screen.  No good mother let's her kids rule her.  They'll grow up to be spoiled tyrants.

[BlackMamba]

Did I hear her say she had to pack diapers? If that kid is still in diapers, Jules is an even worse mother than she seems to be on screen. No good mother let's her kids rule her. They'll grow up to be spoiled tyrants.

I already envision Jagger cussing her out and putting her in her place like those children from the Dr Phil show.

[ScoobieDoobs]

My god, Bethenny thinks everything that comes out of her mouth is pure gold.  She's exhausting, not entertaining.  It's gonna be a long season.

 

Yup, this is EXACTLY how I felt watching this ep.  Exhausted, just exhausted.  The show should now be called "Bethenny & her Nasty-Ass Shit".  Seriously, the woman never lets up.  If she had a gun, she'd be shooting everyone around her.  But no, instead she does it with words.  We're only 3 eps in & I'm so fuckin' tired of her nastiness.  It's just non-stop.  It never fucking ends!  GAH!!!  Anyone surprised she has no friends & probably can't keep employees?

 

Btw, enough, Satan Andy!!  Stop rigging your stupid fucking polls on WWHL in Bethenny's favor.  Luved that Sonja (of all people) pointed out the poll was probably rigged.  Gotta say, as much as I'm totally over Sonja, watching her on WWHL was a breath of fresh air -- in comparison to the non-stop nastiness of Bethenny.  Not sure I can take Bethenny's nasty shit for much longer.  It's not fun or funny & it's really killing the show for me.

 

Anyone catch (on WWHL) Fredrik quickly say he thought Sonja's townhouse was worth 7 mil?  Hee!  Thought her head was gonna explode.  WWHL wasn't all that great -- mostly cuz I just wanted to kick Satan Andy in his non-stop Joker-smiling smug mug.  And the Grey Gardens routine (once again) fell flat & wasn't in the least bit funny.  But it was better than watching Bethenny, that's for damn sure.

[sheetmoss]

I love when Bethenny told John "I can't with the Snoopy scarf."  That stuff's not scripted; sometimes she's funny despite her mean streak.  Why all the nastiness on the phone call with Jules?  

 

Was Jules's swimming pool right off the living room?  Wouldn't it smell like chlorine?  

Not if you make it saltwater.

[biakbiak]

Not to mention there didn't seem to be any partition (unlike the one in the car - lol) separating the room with the big hole for the swimming pool. Seems rather dangerous with two little kids there. Good thing they brought the nanny.....

Edited to add - ha ichbin, we had the same feelings regarding the vehicle and the pool.

They were doing construction and when they arrived they seemed surprised that the wall was gone and said "oh he really meant he was going to blow out the wall." I am sure we will hear more about it when Bethenny comes over next week and explains to them how they are doing their remodel wrong. Edited April 21, 2016 by biakbiak

[JakeyJokes]

What was with WWHL? I thought it was gonna be Ramona and Amy Schumer.

Carole's beef with LuAnn has less to do with what she said on the show and more with how Lu acted on Twitter. She was RELENTLESS going after Carole all season long last year, and Carole said that during filming LuAnn was fine with the Adam thing but was now acting out for attention/storyline. For what ever reason, the show isn't acknowledging that, so we're getting this watered-down "Carole is mad that LuAnn made a joke about her at dinner!" story, which isn't really what happened.

I inferred that John's friend sold Skinnycow to Nestle who THEN made a deal with Bethenny? Either way, John made an ass of himself at the bra party. The Dorinda/John thing is mirroring my own life in a way, albeit in a lower tax bracket.

I am no saint when it comes to drugs and alcohol. In general, I feel if you're gonna do it without harming anybody else or yourself, fine. But if you drink/snort/whatever and you act like an asshole when you're using, it's going to affect your relationships.