S06.E13: Meri Catfished

[RedheadZombie]

It bothers me that someone as smart as Maddie was lamenting how sad she will be that her kids won't be raised by multiple mothers. She seems oblivious to the fact that she needed multiple mothers because she had a couple of dozen siblings competing for her parents' attention. If you have a couple/few kids like a normal family Maddie they aren't competing for your time, and basically have a father in more than name only. To top it off your kids will have 18 or so (I have lost track) aunts and uncles so I think they will be just fine having only two parents.

 

I get the definite impression that the majority of the nurturing Janelle's oldest children received was from Meri and Christine.  There is no doubt how much Logan/Maddie/Hunter love Meri.  That's what's always convinced me that Meri's so-called "abuse" of Janelle was very early in the marriage only.  Janelle's kids seem pretty loyal, and if Meri was abusing their mother, I think it would have damaged their relationship with her.  I think it says a lot about the relationship between Meri and Janelle's older children, that it wasn't damaged by Meri and Janelle's mutual antipathy.

 

Janelle loves her children, but I get the definite impression that Janelle had six because it was expected.  She openly acknowledges she vastly prefers working over being with her children, and other than cuddling Savannah, there's not a lot of physical affection between Janelle and her children.

[MonicaM]

What really stood out to me during Meri's talking heads was when she mentioned that at times, her online boyfriend would get angry with her, and "really go off on her."  While that raised her red flags, not only did she continue on with the relationship, she apparently spent considerable time apologizing and acting contrite in order to keep "Sam" talking to her.  Essentially, she went from one emotionally abusive relationship to another, and that's very sad.  As much as I think she made this bed herself, as a woman I find myself sympathizing with her.  I always did believe that "Mean-Girl Meri" would get some karma delivered to her, but at the same time, watching a broken and lonely woman sobbing on television is hard to watch, especially since I believe she's probably not getting a whole lot of support from her jerk of an ex-husband and her sister-wives.

When does idiot asswipe king Kody get some karma delivered to him?  If he'd been a real husband who cared for each of his wives from the beginning, there wouldn't have been so much competition amongst the first three in the beginning.  If anyone "deserves" to be isolated, depressed and desperate for attention, it's Kody.  As usual, a wife (or wives) suffers while he gets exactly what he wants.  

I'm not a big fan of Meri, but I'm sick of Kody getting his way and acting as if he can't understand why anyone else might not be happy.

[Quickbeam]

Just watched this episode. I really can't understand the culture of polygamy....but why can't Meri fill her days with childcare? There are still litters of them at home. Isn't that what they do?

[JoannKB]

I think everyone's reactions at the dinner in Alaska were subdued at least partly because the news wasn't new to them.  They all go to therapy, right?  They knew Meri was unhappy.  I wouldn't even be surprised if the therapist suggested that she take a "break" from the family. 

 

Yeah, I think that's what struck me as so odd in the way that conversation was shown. It felt like they cut out all of the reactions and showed Meri's talking head about the catfish instead, and we got no surprise or shock in the reaction. No one said, "Wtf are you talking about? You want to leave the family? Is this permanent? Do you want a divorce [or whatever polygs call it when there is no legal marriage]?" 

[andromeda331]

When does idiot asswipe king Kody get some karma delivered to him?  If he'd been a real husband who cared for each of his wives from the beginning, there wouldn't have been so much competition amongst the first three in the beginning.  If anyone "deserves" to be isolated, depressed and desperate for attention, it's Kody.  As usual, a wife (or wives) suffers while he gets exactly what he wants. 

I'm not a big fan of Meri, but I'm sick of Kody getting his way and acting as if he can't understand why anyone else might not be happy.

This! Forget Meri and the other wives when is he going to get it karma to smack him? He created the situation,

all of it and did nothing to fix it. He's had all of the perks and none of the responsibility his entire adult life. He

gets all of the trips, he gets mad at Christine for not being nice to his current favorite. He got to dump his "first"

wife, marry number four and deal with none of the fallout from it. He got a new wedding and to go on another

honeymoon. Meri's apparently getting what she deserved for "choosing" Robyn, Christine got what she 

deserved after being happy to be the "last" wife, what about Kody? When does he get what he deserves

for his part? He didn't have to treat his wives like crap in favor of Robyn, or do nothing while they fought.

He doesn't have to treat his kids like crap, but he does. So when does he get what's coming to him?

[LucyEth]

What can I add that has not already been said here, lots of good posts.  I will say "poor dogs" didn't like that at all.  Also the "bitches" remarks were stupid, why would you refer to yourselves that way.  Not funny, although they seemed to think it was hysterical.  

[3girlsforus]

Just watched this episode. I really can't understand the culture of polygamy....but why can't Meri fill her days with childcare? There are still litters of them at home. Isn't that what they do?

 

I was one who posted that if she's so lonely and bored she should get a job. But after some comments on here, I do realize that this isn't the only answer. She is emotionally lonely as well. She could spend the entire day busy with the other wives' kids or crafting or working MSWC (if that is still around) but still feel the same gaping hole in her life. That's because she's married to a man who loves someone else and spends all of his time with her. She's divorced but can't move on with her life. 

 

I still think she should get a job but definitely not help with the other wives' kids. If she had something to do outside of the house and away from the family she would feel better about herself. She would gain more confidence and might find the strength to dump Kody's selfish ass. Kody won't change. He isn't going to see that he has emotionally abandoned her or that he even has any responsibility in their relationship. 

[I-Kare]

I only lurk in this forum, but had to "delurk" and comment. I think this whole handling of the Meri catfish thing was odd because it really exposed a lot of the show as a lie - or at the very least a huge manipulation. We're led to believe episode after episode that they're a big happy family and that they're a part of each other's daily lives (other than the touched on stuff between Meri/Janelle that - if you notice - never gets quite that deep). For years we've read sources say they only interact for the cameras and then live their separate lives in their separate houses on the cul de sac. I guess that's all confirmed now, not that we needed confirmation. 

 

But it really shows how little control the show had over this revelation since it doesn't fit the narrative we've been fed at all. Meri's so lonely/alone that she seeks affection and support elsewhere? The wives have been concerned "for a while" about what she wants and if she'll leave? All of them look saddened and yet not shocked when she made the revelation? All of it is understandable and not shocking to me in the least but it's so far off from what they push as their lives that it probably was shocking for a lot of the viewing audience who don't follow things on the Net. I can't imagine how confused some folks are at this point. 

 

And how does this all fit with all of them insisting their "lifestyle" is good? They all say that it's for the benefit of the family and it's because the kids benefit from so many Moms, but this really confirmed that wives don't actually interact that often. I know they interacted more at the old house before they moved to Vegas, but what's the point - now - of their lifestyle when it's not what it once was and why they said it was so good? 

 

This is all so fascinating to me. I wish we had the real story of the catfishing instead of "her side" and "his/her side." I want the real side, whatever that is.

Edited November 17, 2015 by I-Kare

[RazzleberryPie]

Just watched this episode. I really can't understand the culture of polygamy....but why can't Meri fill her days with childcare? There are still litters of them at home. Isn't that what they do?

She doesn't want to. Honestly, I have always disliked Meri, but I don't blame her for not wanting to be relegated to baby sitter, especially babysitter of the woman who dethroned you and has 100% of your husbands' affections. She really didn't care when she had 80% of Kody's attention and the scraps were thrown to Janelle and Christine, but now that he's actually, blatantly, unashamedly with someone he's in love/lust with, she can't take it and sought out an affair.

 

Meri will only be happen when she thinks she's lording over or one upping the other wives, and that's never going to happen again. She has no legal status, she has no children at home to sympathize with, she isn't in the best shape, Kody doesn't care how much she spends on spray tans fake nails ,food, etc. Doesn't matter. She's not the darling anymore, so she's going to be unhappy as a brown.

 

What can I add that has not already been said here, lots of good posts.  I will say "poor dogs" didn't like that at all.  Also the "bitches" remarks were stupid, why would you refer to yourselves that way.  Not funny, although they seemed to think it was hysterical.  

I think this was another one of Christine's lame attempts to be 'cool', but she's a big nerd. 

Also, Meri can't/won't get a job to occupy her time, or school, because SHE IS VERY LAZY. Work and school take effort. She'd at least have to get up and show up somewhere. 

[CofCinci]

I don't want to be a Meri apologist but she is going to school and it seems that the LIV (multi-level marketing scheme) is a productive job that takes up some of her time. Hell, she was able to get $800 of the Catfish's (stolen) money.

[zenme]

What's Meri's relationship like with Christine's mother?  Is she not someone she thinks she could talk to about the trials and tribulations of polygamy?  What about her own mother?  What about her therapist? It seems like Meri knew she was wrong from the get go and didn't want to be dissuaded from her relationship with Sam, and I do think she is wrong.  Is she legally married?  No. She's technically divorced, but in their eyes they claim to be married spiritually and they've said that commitment is more important than the law.  So, that's why I consider it cheating.  Kody really needs to worry about his individual relationships with the women in his family AS WELL as the group dynamic.  Without the individual relationships doing well, the family will suffer.  Damn, I'm glad I'm in a committed monogamous relationship with someone who is committed to me as well. 

[Alapaki]

I was completely unaware of the catfishing stuff before last night (I have too many other Reality Shows to keep up with).

And I can attest to the fact that the editing and the way it was presented was completely WTF out-of-left-field.

I mean, it was pretty obvious from the look on her face both during filming and in a lot of the THs that Meri seemed absolutely miserable, if not clinically depressed. But I agree that this was one of those situations where real life got in the way of TPTB's "reality" and so watching they restaurant scene was like watching one end of a telephone conservation.

I don't know if it's a function of polygamy, because I can't think of any group that would want to be judged by Kody's behavior. But this episode made clear that, at least in this plural marriage, most of the wives don't really have a husband in their lives.

[Granny58]

from my experience, if your brother marries someone, she becomes your sister-in-law, obviously. But her siblings also become your brothers-/sisters-law as well.

Certainly it's not blood, and there's nothing technically illegal about it. But this is someone whom she should rightly be calling "uncle" (even if it's "in-law"). Instead she's marrying him.

And, of course, throwing vibes at a guy during his brother's funeral, which is what I think Janelle's other kids strongly suggested happened, is also strange.

I've never heard of your in law's siblings becoming your own in laws.  

re Caleb being Catholic (amazing...), if they wish to get married in the Catholic church they will need to have permission from the bishop AND Maddie will have had to vow to raise their children as Catholics too.  I find this very intriguing.  She won't be FORCED to raise them Catholic (how could you force that?) but will be pay lip service to the requirement?

[Kohola3]

We're led to believe episode after episode that they're a big happy family and that they're a part of each other's daily lives

 

Oh, I don't think more than a handful of half wits believe that they are a big happy family. It didn't take more than a season to see the very obvious cracks in the Happy Poly Dollhouse facade.  Anyone with half a brain knows that they lead a totally toxic lifestyle with the controlling Pseudo High Priest and his Merry Band of Repressed Sheep Wives.

[SunnyBeBe]

That's right Zenme, Where is Christine's mother?  Didn't she move in with Christine a season or two ago?  What happened to her?

 

While I do have sympathy for Meri's unfortunate catfish experience, I do wonder why she and some of the other wives can't get on board with the lifestyle they profess to love.  The lifestyle makes them better, right?  It's like it should have always been that way, right?   And they want a family, not just a man, correct?  My understanding of this lifestyle is that you all pull together for the benefit of the ENTIRE family.  This goal requires lots of unselfish behavior and hard work.  There isn't much room for selfishness and pettiness.  That's why I have difficulty tolerating much of the whining, including Meri.  But, the others do it as well.   I think they need to really review what this lifestyle means to them before giving it so much praise.  I just don't buy it.    

 

Maybe, Meri thinks she did her share by divorcing Kody.  

Edited November 17, 2015 by SunnyBeBe

[I-Kare]

Oh, I don't think more than a handful of half wits believe that they are a big happy family. It didn't take more than a season to see the very obvious cracks in the Happy Poly Dollhouse facade.  Anyone with half a brain knows that they lead a totally toxic lifestyle with the controlling Pseudo High Priest and his Merry Band of Repressed Sheep Wives.

 

I don't think you have to be a half wit to believe the narrative they're put forth. A lot of people probably thought Meri's unhappiness was just due to not being able to have a baby (at first) and then being an empty nester. If you don't follow anything other than the show, you may not have any other reason to believe otherwise. That doesn't mean folks are a half wit or brainless. 

[UsernameFatigue]

r

e Caleb being Catholic (amazing...), if they wish to get married in the Catholic church they will need to have permission from the bishop AND Maddie will have had to vow to raise their children as Catholics too.  I find this very intriguing.  She won't be FORCED to raise them Catholic (how could you force that?) but will be pay lip service to the requirement?

 

I would be surprised if Maddie doesn't convert to Catholicism, if she hasn't already. In an interview after she got engaged she said that she was not allowed to join the Mormon church (remember the big deal that was made by her leaving the Church of Kody?) because of her parents' poly lifestyle. Since obviously some form of religion is important to her I don't see why she would not adopt the religion of her finace/inlaws. But yes, all you have to do is say you will raise your kids Catholic and then can do whatever you actually want to do. But my guess is that is how their kids will be raised regardless of the required vow.

[OldWiseOne]

I believe Robyn's intentions are far from altruistic. The Browns have known Caleb and his family for a very long time, and most likely have an insight to his character.  However as far as Robyn is concerned, Caleb is a virtual stranger, because in her world the family's history before her doesn't exist or should be erased.  I have a feeling they are forbidden to talk about their life in Montana, because it doesn't include her family unit.

How weird was that when they were talking about Maddie and Caleb, and Kody looks straight at Robin and asked her if she "was ok" with that (or something to that effect). Janelle's kid! And somehow Robin's opinion is the most important one?

 

 

That's right Zenme, Where is Christine's mother?  Didn't she move in with Christine a season or two ago?  What happened to her?

She was in Alaska with them, so she must still be living with Christine. I think she makes purses that they sell on MSWC.

[toodles]

Just watched this episode. I really can't understand the culture of polygamy....but why can't Meri fill her days with childcare? There are still litters of them at home. Isn't that what they do?

maybe it's expected, but I sure as hell would not want to be the for free babysitter. I take it she was lonely for adult company. She went about it ass backward. #polygamy sucks

[RazzleberryPie]

Robyn's 'concern' over Caleb and Maddie - totally fake and self serving. I think she just couldn't stand someone else having the focus of attention for a minute, AND she would push all the kids headfirst into polygamy, even though it's been a super rough road for her. If she has to suffer with sister wives, then everyone else should, too. I also think it was a partial dig at Janelle, trying to insinuate that Robyn was the more concerned parent, and the one who really has Maddie's best interests at the forefront. 

[lightbeam]

Holy wall-of-text, Batman. "He's" doing a point-by-point rebuttal to last night's episode on his blog. All the same stuff as before: they had sex more than 60 times, he met her in person, a really really long/strident defense of Robyn, etc. But I found this nugget shared very sad and likely true. Blegh.

Wait...what!? They had sex? I thought "he" is a "she" and I assume Meri wouldn't be into that. Can you say more? Where do you read this? I haven't followed closely. I get all my info right here.

[butterly17]

All Kody needed to say at dinner was... 'Meri, you and I really need to have a talk about this.'   I mean, he's the one she is 'married' too, not all the other wives.  It was odd that he had nothing to say, not even a... 'what?'

 

I also wonder when was the last time we saw Kody spend any 1 on 1 time with Meri or Jenelle?  Seasons ago?!?!?  I can barely remember him having conversations with those two.  He has fights with Christine and had the sad 'therapist' anniversary trip... and he's with Robyn all the time.... but Jenelle and Meri?  Haven't seen it in a long, long time.

 

Caleb seemed nice and normal... he had a bit of deer in headlights, but any normal person would. 

 

Logan's girlfriend seemed phony and rehearsed, not a keeper.

 

I had a few things that were confusing about the end of the season... so they dropped Meri's health scare with the 30lb weight loss?  I mean, they only spent the last 10 min on the catfish, so when were they originally going to show it?   Another thing is that Christine mentioned Meri could start taking a college class, but wait didn't she quit MSWC and have a teary-eyed convo with Robyn about going back to school like last season?!?!

 

I also continue to find it odd that Robyn has women living with her to help her with her kids, when Meri is all alone next door.  I don't expect Meri to be a nanny for Robyn, but would 2 hours of helping out a day, really kill her? It could drastically improve her outlook... and probably gain her more points with King Kody than the divorce did.  Since he told Christine the #1 thing she could do to improve their relationship was 

'put the family first'.

 

Meri is a perpetual victim. Zzzzzz

Wait...what!? They had sex? I thought "he" is a "she" and I assume Meri wouldn't be into that. Can you say more? Where do you read this? I haven't followed closely. I get all my info right here.

 

The 'supposedly' had sex.  This information is from the crazy catfish.   I wouldn't doubt they had some sort of phone sex, or something, but real sex? no.

Edited November 17, 2015 by butterly17

[CofCinci]

What's Meri's relationship like with Christine's mother? 

This is a really great question.  I'm curious how all the wives regard Christine's mother as she is the Ghost of Christmas Future for these women.  Like Christine's mother, each of these women will be chewed up and spit out by polygamy.  They'll end up broke and homeless until a daughter takes them in.  I'm sure they ignore her because acknowledging her presence would be to admit that polygamy only works for one person --- the male.

[RazzleberryPie]

About the 'cancer scare' - Meri lost a lot of weight, probably due to stress and then the excitement of a potential new boyfriend. Honestly, 30 lbs in 6 weeks is a lot, but Meri was quite heavy, so a nearly 200 lb person losing that amount isn't the same as a 120 lb person losing a quarter of their weight in 6 weeks. I question the 30 pounds, too, because she honestly looked the same to me.

 

So back to 'cancer scare' - I seriously, honestly, feel like TLC was pushing this as a story arc to contrast Meri's sadness and deteriorating health, visiting the doctor alone and looking sad, with Robyn and Kody skipping to the midwife's office TOGETHER to get happy news of a new baby. 

 

The doctor described nothing of shock value or really out of the norm. They did a CT of her abodomen and noticed a thickening of her cervix, which is totally normal for a woman going through perimenopause (the 10ish years leading to menopause - perfectly reasonable for a 45 year old woman). A pap smear is a routine exam to detect cervical cancer, which can come on fast and furious but a pap is routine. Normal annual exam stuff. 

 

Of course a desperate and dramatic Meri, seeking attention from her family, is going to jump on woe is me wagon and hint at cancer. Just like she hints she might leave, and hints some stuff is going on, etc. She's begging for someone to ask her what's wrong. As vile as she is, it's pitiful.

 

Now that there is real excitement, TLC will drop the fake cancer storyline. Doubt if we'll hear anything else, except maybe a Tamryn Hall asking "you had a scare. you don't have cancer, thank God, right?" and that will be the end of it.

[3girlsforus]

What's Meri's relationship like with Christine's mother?  Is she not someone she thinks she could talk to about the trials and tribulations of polygamy?  What about her own mother?  What about her therapist? It seems like Meri knew she was wrong from the get go and didn't want to be dissuaded from her relationship with Sam, and I do think she is wrong.  Is she legally married?  No. She's technically divorced, but in their eyes they claim to be married spiritually and they've said that commitment is more important than the law.  So, that's why I consider it cheating.  Kody really needs to worry about his individual relationships with the women in his family AS WELL as the group dynamic.  Without the individual relationships doing well, the family will suffer.  Damn, I'm glad I'm in a committed monogamous relationship with someone who is committed to me as well.

She could talk to Christine's mom except she isn't admitting the problem is polygamy or the divorce. She is blaming it on empty nest and now being catfished. If she won't lay the problem where is belongs, all of the therapists and commiserators won't help.

[Mariareads]

Hi All! I found this place a while ago and have read some of the comments on shows I watch. Now I am making my 1st post after reading all the posts regarding the cat fishing (vile) scenario that is playing out. I have watched this show from the beginning. I have some TV shows of real substance that I watch but I am a bit of an insomniac and record stuff like this to watch until 2 AM while hubs is sleeping. What can I say-it helps me pass the time and finally nod off with my headset on! I have an interest in anything that has to do with psychology/sociology -why people do what they do and how they live. Always have. So this show intrigued me because what the hell did I know about polygamy except for a book I read for a sociology course and had to give a 'lecture' on for a grade. This show was very different from the book I read about being the daughter of a polygamist because it was showing the adults as the main characters. Those are the people I wanted to hear from. So, for the start I found myself staring at the women and wondering what in the hell they were all doing with this Kody person and why they would be so attracted to his ways-which annoy the  heck out of me. I stuck with it, noticing the coolness between Janelle and Meri from the start and being completely shocked at how many babies Christine was popping out while kind of gliding through the days with a flip attitude. Didn't get that at all. But Meri always seemed to stand out as kind of bossy, kind of entitled and really pretty snarky.  But I didn't dislike her. I just felt there was something going on with her. I don't think she was really on board for this plural marriage bit in a personal way. Maybe she was signed up for it in theory, but I don't think her personality could handle it once it was a reality. She probably didn't know that about herself. Once the other wife was in the picture it was a totally different reality for Meri. One she realized she had major problems with. So I kept watching and noticing things as time went on. But..this insanity that has cropped up? Never expected this shit storm. I thought someone might leave, and really thought it would be Janelle because she always seems very distant and so far away but seriously she has so many kids that it would be difficult to do on her own. Meri was a loose cannon. Once her daughter left for college that was it for her. I look at the way her house is decorated. Ever notice that? Kind of artsy. Kind of staged. More so than the others. She likes things to look a certain way. So many of us do. But it made her different from some of the others. Once she got through decorating that place, really, what was there left for her to do? If she truly had gone off Kody and didn't feel much of anything for him anymore it's easy for me to see how this happened. I will go out on a limb and say that I saw major depression in Meri. I have had 2 years of social services work and education in the psych side of things and that was just enough for me to have studied the major mental health issues people have and I saw depression in Meri right away. This made her ripe for what she stepped into. If she was this  unhappy, like many of you have said, she had a choice. She was legally divorced and could also get a spiritual divorce and prob. have to leave the faith she was used to. Not so easy as some would think. Money, personal connections to the kids and even to the other sister wives would be a consideration. And where to go? And for what? I think, for me, the real interest in this latest revelation of cat fishing is how vile and disgusting the person(s) who participated are. There are so many mental illnesses and disorders that fill up the DSM IV that it used to make my head spin during exam time but I have to tell you the person who did this to Meri is one sick , sick individual. Some have used sociopath and I am beginning to agree.  There are a few other labels that might fit as well but I'm not a psychiatrist and am an amateur at best. But to set out to lure a person into a sea of deception and to take joy in it and joy in documenting it; saving the information, carrying out elaborate schemes on line, stealing names and company logos etc. actually made me feel kind of sick. I went to that blog and it is very revealing-of the person who lured Meri. Who the hell does this person believe themselves to be? He/she has terrible grammar and a dreadful writing style. They repeat the same word in the course of one or two sentences and use the wrong tense often. Dead give away that this is no 'mogul' who goes to freaking Dubai to do real estate deals or construction deals. Painfully obvious this is a complete imposter. Sure, this degenerate was smart enough to pick up on how to lure someone in (sociopathic part of the personality which is very cunning and terrifying) and learned enough about how to navigate social media to create a blog, operate on twitter, transfer information from one place to another and so on. But this is not a super educated person. This is a predator who like any animal who hunts, found prey and enjoyed the deception. I read a little of that repulsive blog and it made me kind of sick. I have no connection to Meri. She's just someone on a show I happen to watch, but that someone would set up an elaborate scenario like this to lure and trap a woman is so wicked and evil that it crosses over every boundary I can think of. Was Meri wrong? Absolutely. She was wrong. But I have to ask myself why she got sucked into this insane underworld and the only answer I keep getting is that she was depressed, unhappy with her marriage and her life, for that matter. It's freaking crazy that she met up with this ...thing...at Disney. What an absolutely insane thing to do! This person could have done anything to her. Killed her and dumped her somewhere. Just about anything you can imagine. There are that many crazies roaming around-especially on the net. I don't know. There is a part of me that feels very sad for Meri. This is the most humiliating thing I could imagine happening especially if she does have major problems with Robyn and Kody. I can't help but focus on the embarrassment and fear that this has caused her and  for that reason I do have empathy for her situation. It is degrading if nothing else.

 

As for the person who did this just think back to some of the biggest monsters we have witnessed, most of which are escaping me now. Jeffrey Dahmer is 1 that comes to mind as well as that Warnous woman in Florida who murdered all those men and had created this nut job scenario about how and why. Too many to recall. They are out there and they have the greatest weapon they have ever had now. The internet. What a tool to use to prey on people. 

 

Anyway, I want to hear what is said next week. I can't stomach going back to that blog and/or hearing messages she left on a cell phone. I cringe. Meri made a huge mistake and a mistake that could have cost her her life. I do believe she does fear for that family because the person who carried this out is incredibly evil. I would believe they are capable of a great deal. Kidnapping for ransom? Who knows? I hope she finds what she wants to do with the rest of her life because clearly what she's doing now isn't at all even contentment. To fall into this "relationship" with a complete stranger who hides on line is proof that Meri is in a bad and fragile place that makes her ripe for something very bad happening to her.  These nut jobs find the most vulnerable and stalk them before they make their move. That is a terrifying thought to me. Imagine that right now someone is gathering info on you to set up a net to catch you! Scarier than any thriller I have watched or read. 

 

Hope to read your thoughts about next week! 

[LakeGal]

Caleb wants to talk to Kody alone.  I found it amusing that it was Aurora and Briana that had to be asked to leave Kody's side so they could be alone.  Are Robyn's daughters always around Kody?  Plus King Sol is the child that Kody made the big fuss over at the last supper too.  Kody doesn't just prefer Robyn to the other wives.  Her children get the preferred treatment too.  

[Mittengirl]

From what I recall from a genealogy class, in-laws stop at one "level".

John and Betty are married.

Betty has a brother, Bob

Bob is John's brother-in-law.

Bob's wife Suzy is Betty's sister-in-law and John's brother-in-law's wife.

Suzy's brothers Steve and Scott are in-laws only to Bob.

[jennylauren123]

These women were all catfished when they signed up for Kody's line of bull at the beginning of their relationships with him.

 

When they are all sitting and laughing on the couch, joking about Kody, I just think there sits Kody, laughing at all of them, because they all signed up for him and his hogwash, and they all share his bed. These women are completely marginalized, and then they spend their lives and energy trying to justify why they have all been stupid enough to believe that marrying a man is the way to spiritual fulfillment.

 

This religion is an absolute spirit crusher for women. (Sol, however, might be the next Prophet. Ha!)

[jennylauren123]

Here's another thing: when they go on about how great it is to have so many moms, so many siblings and what have you...how it's so great to have all of these people around you to talk to and to help you and to rely on...

 

Well, you know, the rest of us have that, too. It's called being a person in this world, people. I didn't have four moms, but I did have the moms of my close friends. I didn't have one pompous-ass narcissist dad, but I did have one wonderful dad, who actually (because he didn't have a few dozen children, just 6) had time for me. I didn't have 30 siblings, but I did have all of the neighborhood kids, all of my friends in school, etc.

 

Why are they so invested in thinking they are so interesting and unique? Because it's their bread and butter?

 

And I really hope Kody gets some kind of whiplash condition from shaking his hair back all damn day. It is a preposterous gesture for anyone who is not a teenager in the 1970s.

Edited November 17, 2015 by jennylauren123

[CofCinci]

The rest of us don't have 2 other moms. We have aunties and cousins.

[Snarklepuss]

Here's another thing: when they go on about how great it is to have so many moms, so many siblings and what have you...how it's so great to have all of these people around you to talk to and to help you and to rely on...

 

Well, you know, the rest of us have that, too. It's called being a person in this world, people. I didn't have four moms, but I did have the moms of my close friends. I didn't have one pompous-ass narcissist dad, but I did have one wonderful dad, who actually (because he didn't have a few dozen children, just 6) had time for me. I didn't have 30 siblings, but I did have all of the neighborhood kids, all of my friends in school, etc.

 

Why are they so invested in thinking they are so interesting and unique? Because it's their bread and butter?

 

Their religion makes them think that family is everything and not just family but family the way THEY define it, otherwise to them it doesn't exist and is insignificant (and therefore doesn't get you into heaven).  Anyone who doesn't have "family" within their narrow definition is disadvantaged in their view.  Truthfully, they all only have ONE mom and the others are just like the extended almost-parental relationships you refer to that we had as kids (I had them too).  I remember how kids would call their parents' friends and their friends' parents "aunt" and "uncle" because they were around so much and functioned almost like parents to us.  It just shows how ignorant they are of the way monogamous people live.  They think we live in isolated bubbles with no contact with anyone but our nuclear families.

Edited November 17, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[ghoulina]

Janelle loves her children, but I get the definite impression that Janelle had six because it was expected.  She openly acknowledges she vastly prefers working over being with her children, and other than cuddling Savannah, there's not a lot of physical affection between Janelle and her children.

 

I just don't see Jenelle as a physically affectionate person, period. Plus, we came into her life when most of her kids were tween boys and older. Kids in those stages aren't usually super affectionate themselves. I can see Savannah being the only one who would even WANT to be cuddly. But it's quite clear to me that she's very close to her kids. She gets teary when Hunter calls home, she's over the moon to see Maddie so happy. I do think that her kids are close to Christine and Meri because they all lived together for so long, and I think Christine, in particular, did a lot of mothering to them when they were little. Yes, Jenelle worked. But I don't see it as any different than my kids being close to both me and my husband, even though he works every day and I am home with them. 

 

I think this episode really highlighted how moving into separate houses really did these women a disservice. Maybe not Queen Robyn, since she has never lived plural and was probably happy not to. But the others, they were all so used to the big, bustling family life. In Vegas, they have their own homes, Mariah moves out, and Meri is very very lonely. I know there are other things that compounded it, but would all this catfish stuff have happened if they were all still living together?

 

 

She could talk to Christine's mom except she isn't admitting the problem is polygamy or the divorce. She is blaming it on empty nest and now being catfished. If she won't lay the problem where is belongs, all of the therapists and commiserators won't help.

 

I thought she did kind of address polygamy, though. She mentioned how being an empty nester is a lot different when you're in a plural marriage - because Kody isn't an empty nester. He still has tons of kids running around his various homes, and she's all alone in hers. Even more so, because he's not always there. She didn't come right out and 100% blame polygamy, but I thought there was quite a bit implied. 

 

Plus King Sol is the child that Kody made the big fuss over at the last supper too.

 

What was UP with that??? "Hey, everyone look at Sol. In the middle of dinner. Because he's so awesome". Kody's favoritism couldn't be any more obvious. 

[CofCinci]

But does King Sol get ditched for the new baby? I'm sure this is a game Kody has played for years with his children (and wives).

[bumblebee]

What was UP with that??? "Hey, everyone look at Sol. In the middle of dinner. Because he's so awesome". Kody's favoritism couldn't be any more obvious. 

 

This! It was so awkward to watch that dinner; I missed whether the big gender reveal was in the earlier episode and I thought they were going to have Sol do a gender reveal at the dinner. It was very strange... my heart goes out to the other kids, particularly the younger kids.

 

I really hope Meri can see that she has a chance to be happy if she leaves, so the catfish didn't work out, but there are men out there who would be happy to dote on her. 

The family couldn't appear to care less at the restaurant, especially Robyn. In fact, maybe this was just me, but I found that Janelle seemed to be the only one who was like wow, this is serious. 

 

Meri and Christine should pick up and leave; he becomes less concerned with appearing like a good husband every season. I actually can't stand his face because he is such a manipulative jerk to these women (except Robyn obvi) but more than that he is blatantly crappy towards his other kids. I can see a future of therapy for Christine and Janelle's younger children and it bothers me to no end.

[ghoulina]

But does King Sol get ditched for the new baby? I'm sure this is a game Kody has played for years with his children (and wives).

 

It's a girl, though, right? So probably not. 

[MrsMommy]

Wait robyn has a lady come babysit? Aren't her kids ya know old enough to watch themselves and even babysit sol?

[Harperlee1]

I feel sorry for Meri that she got catfished and that she's being humiliated so publicly. No one deserves that. But I can't get on board with blaming Kody for her actions. If she was lonely and feeling emotionally abandoned, she should have told Kody. If he responded in a way that she didn't like, she had two choices - stay and be unhappy or leave. Cheating on your husband - emotional or otherwise - is not the answer. Sorry if I'm coming across as sanctimonious, but even if you dislike Kody and think he's not a good husband, he doesn't deserve to be cheated on. It's not fair to blame him for her bad choice. He's not a perfect husband or person, but she chose him and chose to stay with him. She chose the lifestyle that divided his time and affection. If it no longer worked for her, she should have left (BEFORE starting another relationship). Being a "bad" husband isn't reason in my eyes to be cheated on. Reason to leave, yes; reason to cheat, no. I know most of you will disagree, but I feel sorry for Kody. For being cheated on and for some people blaming him.

edit to add: I know they didn't have actual sex, but I consider an emotional affair and phone sex (ew) cheating.

Edited November 17, 2015 by Harperlee1

[Harperlee1]

Also, thanks to the posters that brought up the fact that the dinner was likely mid-affair and not after. That makes so much sense. The whole, "I might need to leave for a week," was her explaining her future absence for a trip to meet up with Sam. You guys are so smart. I thought they were taking it exceptionally well and being pretty supportive at the news of their sister wife taking up with another man lol

[greekmom]

Finally saw the episode last night. Your comments are all awesome by the way.

First thought. I am hoping that we the viewers are not being "catfished" by the Browns themselves. Who knows if they did all this to gain another season of TLC gravy, more publicity and sympathy?  TLC has made me very jaded.

 

Can someone please explain to me what are the LIV and MLM scams? Thanks.

 

One thing is certain.  The wives (and kids) were alot happier when it was just the 3 of them in Lehi home. Sure they may have had their issues but they had a well oiled machine going.  Koduche and Janelle were working full time.  Meri part time (I think) and Christine was taking care of the kids.  Kody was able to spend more time with all the kids since they were in one home.  When Sobyn came in the mix that all went downhill.

 

By the way CofCinci I don't think King Sol will get ditched for the new baby since it's a girl.  Koduche does like the boys better than the girls.

[kimaken]

I feel sorry for Meri that she got catfished and that she's being humiliated so publicly. No one deserves that. But I can't get on board with blaming Kody for her actions. If she was lonely and feeling emotionally abandoned, she should have told Kody. If he responded in a way that she didn't like, she had two choices - stay and be unhappy or leave. Cheating on your husband - emotional or otherwise - is not the answer. Sorry if I'm coming across as sanctimonious, but even if you dislike Kody and think he's not a good husband, he doesn't deserve to be cheated on. It's not fair to blame him for her bad choice. He's not a perfect husband or person, but she chose him and chose to stay with him. She chose the lifestyle that divided his time and affection. If it no longer worked for her, she should have left (BEFORE starting another relationship). Being a "bad" husband isn't reason in my eyes to be cheated on. Reason to leave, yes; reason to cheat, no. I know most of you will disagree, but I feel sorry for Kody. For being cheated on and for some people blaming him.

 

I DO blame Kody. I've only watched the marathon prior to, as well as, this set of episodes. He blames hurt feelings on PMS or womanly emotions. Any problem one of the wives has is ALWAYS her problem, not his--he walks away. Truth is, he's not emotionally connected to any of the wives, except possibly Robyn--and I wonder once she's past child-bearing age, how long will she be is favorite?

 

As for Meri choosing this lifestyle, from what I've read elsewhere on these threads, she came from a plural family but didn't want this lifestyle--it was Kody who wanted more wives and he convinced her (after they were married) to go along with it. When they were young newlyweds, her sister-in-law, Janelle, divorced Meri's brother and chased after Kody (not sure if Janelle initiated the divorce or if Meri's brother did) to become the second wife.

 

Another thing that angers me about Kody is that I read that when Meri's brother (not sure if it was Janelle's ex-hubby or another brother) committed suicide, Kody couldn't be bothered to leave Robyn's house to come over to provide comfort and support. Others have commented that when the family left Utah, he told Christine if she didn't want to come, she could stay behind--what kind of true husband treats his wife like that? He also couldn't leave Robyn's house when Truley was so sick and had to be hospitalized.

 

Someone else had posted that when Janelle inherited some money, Kody was all over her, and it was this inheritance that bought the big house they all lived in in Utah. She also left Kody and took her kids for about 2 years, but when TLC offered the show, Kody talked her into coming back to be on the show. Personally, I think when the show ends, Janelle and her kids will leave--she's independent enough to stand on her own two feet; she's done it before for those couple of years, she knows she can do it again.

 

But Meri (or Christine, for that matter) doesn't have the confidence to strike out on her own--she hasn't held a full time job in many years--she's been married for 25 years--she probably doesn't feel she has any qualifications for a job--too hold to flip burgers (but not old enough for fast food places to get any tax incentives for hiring senior citizens) and little other relevant work experience. She's probably too afraid to leave (and then there's that "not getting into heaven without a husband" issue hanging over her head), plus she has contractual obligations to TLC for her part in the show--so she's miserable, lonely (for male companionship--not the kind of loneliness void that kids, school, or a job can fill), and now humiliated and beaten down.

 

What this all tells me is that Kody is in this just for himself--he gets to have all the sex he wants whenever he wants it; he can play dad whenever he feels like but otherwise can ignore the kids, and he doesn't have to be there for the tough stuff, like illness, emotions, problems between wives, etc -- and he gets to call all this a religion and convince these women that without him, they have no chance to ever reach heaven (as they know it). I think he's a selfish, arrogant, narcissistic jerk.

[BasqueGirl]

The catfisher notbatman yet person has added more to its "2nd to the end" post nattering on about having Twitter accounts suspended, including screen caps.

Edited November 17, 2015 by BasqueGirl

[ghoulina]

Also, thanks to the posters that brought up the fact that the dinner was likely mid-affair and not after. That makes so much sense. The whole, "I might need to leave for a week," was her explaining her future absence for a trip to meet up with Sam. You guys are so smart. I thought they were taking it exceptionally well and being pretty supportive at the news of their sister wife taking up with another man lol

 

Yea, I was confused at first, because her THs did not jive with the restaurant scene. The latter seemed so much more casual - Meri's going through a rough patch, we know this, she needs an outlet or a vacation. I don't think any of the wives of Kody knew about the cat-fair at that point. And that's what I REALLY want to see. Their reactions to THAT. 

[BasqueGirl]

While I wrote the above post 'it' has made another post titled "counting down to being nobody" and it occured to me there is more than one person writing this crap. It's obvious (to me) in that entry.

[Madding crowd]

I will never feel sorry for Kody as long as he continues to 'cheat' by having sex with multiple women. If he was just married to Meri, yes it would be emotional cheating. He divorced Meri so I think she can do what she wants.

[Twopper]

 

Can someone please explain to me what are the LIV and MLM scams? Thanks.

I will make a stab at it, others can chime in to correct or clarity.

 

When the show first aired there were references to what appeared to be an MLM scam.  The company was called LIV and distributed, I think, health and beauty, stuff.  You can look at the site---www.livuniversity.com  --if you are interested.  The idea is you market this stuff to your friends and family and anyone else.  The person at the very top recruits people under him  who recruit people under them.  The person at the very top makes a profit not only from what he sells, but also takes a percentage of the sales made by everyone under him.  I read somewhere that LDS have a lot of MLMs. Not sure why, or if it is true.

 

Maybe they are still doing it, and that was what they referred to as "work."  They would be "working" by marketing the product through meetings (probably in homes) and showing videos. While trying to sell product, they are also, perhaps mostly, trying to sell the "customer" into becoming another salesperson so that they can make money from what he/she sells.  Think Herbalife, Amway, MaryKay etc

[CofCinci]

It's a girl, though, right? So probably not.

But this is most likely his last daughter, who comes at a time when he realizes he doesn't have any relationships with his other biodaughters. He might put everything into the relationship with this baby. Finally a "Daddy's Little Girl." Edited November 17, 2015 by CofCinci

[Kohola3]

I really hope Meri can see that she has a chance to be happy if she leaves, so the catfish didn't work out, but there are men out there who would be happy to dote on her.

 

I'm not so sure that there are a lot of men out there willing to take on the emotional baggage that Meri carries.  Plus the thought of having sex with someone who carries all of the various diseases the other wives might have and are passed around by the Lord High Pseudo Priest of the Make Up the Rules as You Go religion.  And Meri's been publicly humiliated with pictures, text, and voicemail by Sam/Lindsey/Jackie.

 

Not exactly a prime candidate for a solid, normal, monogamous relationship.

[kassa]

I think this whole handling of the Meri catfish thing was odd because it really exposed a lot of the show as a lie - or at the very least a huge manipulation. We're led to believe episode after episode that they're a big happy family and that they're a part of each other's daily lives

 

 

I think Kody et al think that's what we're led to believe.  I think the show long ago took the turn to highlight the distinction between what they're selling and what we can see with our own eyes.   Even the stupid "sociology" students saying "no, there's obviously no favorite wife!" -- it all contrasted nicely with what we saw unfold. They know we see a disintegrating family unit no matter how insistent they are that it's better than ever. 

 

I’m still trying to decide what was filmed when in terms of the couch scenes.  Seems like Meri silent and miserable on the sofa must have been after the family knew what was going on and she was being punished in some fashion, required to sit there regardless of how little she wanted to be there or how little they wanted to do with her.

 

But then this past episode there were talking heads where she was obviously back and engaged.  Were they filmed first, then the hammer came down and the remainder were shot (but aired out of sequence?)  I haven’t rewatched it to look for clothing clues (but I suppose they’d just wear the same clothes if they were brought back to do more interviews).

 

To me the climactic dinner was staged.  I have to think that Meri had already laid out her escape plans to the family off camera (not the running away with a man part, but the “this isn’t working for me anymore, guys – I need space and heck, it can be a storyline!” talk.  Then they filmed it for the show’s cliffhanger moment to nail down another season. 

 

Everybody played their role – Janelle was supportive if a bit suspicious, Christine was super perky helpfully suggestive of ways Meri could feel better (see?! I LOVE MY SISTER WIVES!), Robyn debuted her matriarchal “just stay in touch, dear, and don’t think the fact that we cut you out of the family photos means we don’t still love you”), and Kody did his level best to look concerned, so in his talking head he could take the loving-but-confused-spouse-who-will–ultimately-be-wronged-by-Meri-dumping-his-ass pose.   And all of that was theatre to cover Meri checking out of the show.  Only SHE knew that she was checking out on her spiritual marriage (and I’m not going to lie – I think she was probably totally planning a Meri Loves Sam spinoff in her head).

Edited November 17, 2015 by kassa

[ghoulina]

I will never feel sorry for Kody as long as he continues to 'cheat' by having sex with multiple women. If he was just married to Meri, yes it would be emotional cheating. He divorced Meri so I think she can do what she wants.

 

That's the way your or I might see it, but this is their religion and I don't think any of the wives view what Kody does as "cheating". They ALL signed up for it. I don't necessarily feel badly for Kody in this situation, but I still see what Meri did as wrong. I have some sympathy for her, because I do think she's in a really low place and doesn't have a lot of support. But they see their marriage as eternal, paperwork or not. So she knows she did the wrong thing, even if she's not the legal wife anymore.