Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[BitterApple]

I find the Kellers to be the most fascinating of the Fundie families simply because their kids are all over the place.

They have one son who left the fold and married the antithesis of Gothard ideals. One daughter who is a typical Fundie frump. Two daughters who could pass as Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, a simpleton married to a gay man and Anna, who is somewhat middle of the road. Pa Keller must be wearing his knees out praying the youngest two don't jump ship.

[DangerousMinds]

This stood out to me in David's long-winded auto-biography:

 

"To my joy, he was very open and excited. After a while, he stopped me and just said, “David, I really feel like God is the One working in your life to give you these desires toward Priscilla. I have only two questions for you: Are you willing to trust God with the size of your family and second, are you willing to be accountable to Priscilla for your Internet use.”'

 

Internet use? huh?

[Fostersmom]

cough*stayoffthegaypornsites*cough

[BitterApple]

I swear I have to avoid eating when I'm on the Duggar forum. I just nearly choked on a blueberry when I read TFDW's comments about being accountable for Internet use.

[Iwadre]

This stood out to me in David's long-winded auto-biography:

 

"To my joy, he was very open and excited. After a while, he stopped me and just said, “David, I really feel like God is the One working in your life to give you these desires toward Priscilla. I have only two questions for you: Are you willing to trust God with the size of your family and second, are you willing to be accountable to Priscilla for your Internet use.”'

 

Internet use? huh?

Wowowow! That sounds like a no gay porn for you David. Wow that is really like my friends gay exhusband also. He had been into gay porn since a kid. Because most humans are interested in porn. Newsflash to the Duggars! This is sooo unhealthy. I find that a lot of conservative and fundie Christians seem to believe that everyone is addicted to porn and no one can just watch it occasionally. It's a very strange obsession. Every desire must be righteously fulfilled!

[andromeda331]

I just saw the updated Bates photo and I really liked it.The colors were really nice. I did like the old one but this picture is so much nicer. I also noticed they updated the family section. I really liked reading the descriptions of each child including updates like Erin working on having a new CD coming out or Michael working as a nanny.  Its also such a stark contrast to the Duggars. 

[Sundaymorning]

I have to admit, I thought the people who talked about "fabulous" David were just exaggerating. But then I watched his youtube channel a bit, and oh boy, this guy is really fabulous. I would be willing to bet money on it. I mean, I hope for this and his wife's sakes that he is not, cause that would be a miserable life having to pretend to be straight and standing there while everyone talks about those evil gays and how they are destroying society.

[cereality]

I just saw the updated Bates photo and I really liked it.The colors were really nice. I did like the old one but this picture is so much nicer. I also noticed they updated the family section. I really liked reading the descriptions of each child including updates like Erin working on having a new CD coming out or Michael working as a nanny.  Its also such a stark contrast to the Duggars. 

I really liked the "about the family" section. It seems like each kid from about age 18 on has/does something of their own; it's still a restrictive list of choices that fit within their beliefs but it seems like in the Bates family there are SOME choices. Good for Michael that she can go be a nanny for another family and be paid for it -- rather than raising her own siblings for free like the Duggar girls. And good for the ones who want to pursue music and record CDs or take college classes or work at a florist or whatever. It just shows how much the Duggars aren't paying attention to their kids. They could give their kids the same kinds of chances -- frankly probably more because they have TLC money and honestly 1-2 kids could easily get an "internship" with TLC where they could learn camera work, production etc. And frankly in the area in which both the Duggars and Bates live, it isn't all that "risky" to their faith to have kids out in the world. Sure they may be exposed to people who aren't Gothard, but working as a nanny or for a florist in the rural south, you are generally amongst conservative Christians; it's not like they'd be sending kids out into the world in LA or NYC where you have Muslims, Buddhists, atheists etc. I can't remember which Duggar girls got to "work" at a coffee house for a few hours -- probably Jinger with a chaperone -- but I really don't see what would be so wrong with letting a kid have that kind of small scale retail job. Heck -- JB probably knows a lot of the small business owners in that area, Jinger likely wouldn't be able to pick up more than 20 hrs a week anyway and those kinds of shops have a known clientele -- not that much risk of her being brainwashed and running away.

 

I always wonder how much of this is how the Duggar kids are themselves. Do you think they've gotten used to a schedule of sleeping until noon (at least the boys) and doing nothing all day to where they don't want for more? Because Jill was able to carve out the job she wanted for herself for a short time until marriage -- she convinced her parents it was ok and they let her. Are the rest of the siblings just lacking in initiative or thinking it's too much work to come up with a scheme to convince mom and dad? Heck for as close as they claim to be to the Bates -- I feel like they could even tell Gil/Kelly what they wanted to do and say to them "could you pls talk to my mom/dad about why it's ok to work at a florist just like Alyssa did"?

[andromeda331]

I always wonder how much of this is how the Duggar kids are themselves. Do you think they've gotten used to a schedule of sleeping until noon (at least the boys) and doing nothing all day to where they don't want for more?

 

 

I've wondered this too especially since the Bates have managed to branch out a little into interests and do things. Don't they want to do stuff? Don't they get bored doing nothing all day long every single day? They must see the Bates and the things they get to do and want to do things too right? Or wondering how the Bates get their parents to let them do things. Maybe their making the wrong approach to their parents. Maybe the better one would be their ratings would probably go up more if they actually were allowed to do stuff. To have jobs and/or follow their interests. Because honestly watching all those boys in the last season doing nothing and trashing a car? Not interesting or even funny. Seeing them following their interests, getting jobs, starting businesses, doing something would be more interesting. Like didn't John David go to the Philippines with a couple of the Bates to help out? Is he interested in helping out after disasters? What are the other boys interested in doing?  

[Marigny]

I would definitely watch if they let Jinger live her dreams and go off to New York. 

[Skittl1321]

 

I have only two questions for you: Are you willing to trust God with the size of your family and second, are you willing to be accountable to Priscilla for your Internet use.”'

 

Wow. No "Are you willing to treat my daughter well" or "are you willing to make her a partner in your marriage", or even "do you promise not to beat her, at least not too often" just making sure he doesn't use the internet inappropriately?

Edited August 11, 2014 by Skittl1321

[mbutterfly]

Wow. No "Are you willing to treat my daughter well" or "are you willing to make her a partner in my marriage", or even "do you promise not to beat her, at least not too often" just making sure he doesn't use the internet inappropriately?

There is definitely something hinky about that internet pledge. 

[alt0233]

I do remember them saying on an episode of 19 Kids that the only two people in the Duggar house with the password to get past the internet filters were Michelle and Jana. So apparently internet accountability is a Thing.

[Gweilo]

Erin posted a hair styling video on her and Chad's blog.  I think I've developed a soft spot for this couple, and I think that without knowing it, they've developed a much less fundie dynamic than other couples. Erin seems to want to be a piano teacher throughout her life, which (hopefully!) means she won't quit everything and sit at home for 18 years once babies arrive.  Chad's encouraging her to make another CD, and obviously is her biggest champion, she's got a degree (I don't think he does?), she has her own jobs and hobbies, he has his work, and they obviously go out on the weekends and do stuff together as well.  Even if she's pregnant right now, they're going to be married over a year before any babies arrive, and I think that they've grown immeasurably in that time together.  They seem very sweet, happy, and have a remarkably mature relationship for fundies.

[DangerousMinds]

A hair styling video, from a woman with THAT hair?

[Iwadre]

Erin is so cute, it almost takes away from the crazy pink room. 

[trimthatfat]

Erin sounds so different than I remember. On the wedding special, she sounded like a squeaky mouse who sucked in way too much helium. She sounds more mature now and is quite adorable.

 

The hair is eh though. Not a fan.

[Lillybee]

Anna's sister and her stupid husband and their 8 and 3/4 kids are now in Zambia trying to convert Zambia's Christian population into their crazy brand of Christianity. John thinks that collidial silver and essential oils will keep his family safe from malaria and Ebola. They seem not to believe in the existing malaria preventions. The Schraeders come close to making the Duggars, Bates and even the Maxwells seem almost normal. I really worry about Esther and their children.

[Ivy26]

Erin is so cute, it almost takes away from the crazy pink room. 

See, I'm not worried about the room choice lasting too long.  As Fundie as these kids are, it was probably Erin's way of 'rebelling'.  When you live with that many siblings, chances are you don't get a lone voice and choice.  Erin is getting the dream bedroom of her childhood.  I give it til right around their first anniversary when she realizes "You know, a dude sleeps here too.  Break out the tasteful neutrals!"

[BradandJanet]

Scroll down to about the fifth photo in this article:

 

http://davidlovespriscilla.com/about-us/david-story/

 

I think that one epitomizes David's flare. 

 

Love the floral print apron. And he simply must publish a collection of his stunning poetry. 

[Fuzzysox]

Both the Bates and the Wallers are going to have babies in October I believe so am betting on a November Benessa wedding. No one wants to miss out on being on TLC for  famewhoring.

[Ivy26]

Plus, isn't November sweeps month?

[mbutterfly]

Could there have been anything crasser than Jim Bob's announcement of their fall season? I'm thinking NO.

[Libby96]

Ah, yes sweeps month! Between sweeps and the fact that November will mark three months after the engagement (Anna and Josh were only engaged for 3 months, as well as Jill and Derrick) that has got to be when the wedding will be.

[riverblue22]

So what do we have for May sweeps?  Either John David better get crackin' and find a girl to court, or Jill will need to have a baby

[Absolom]

If they get married in November, we won't see it until spring so it won't count for November sweeps.  What we probably will get is Jill's June wedding in November if the Duggars run in sweeps month. 

[farmgal4]

There is definitely something hinky about that internet pledge.

These people are beyond f'ed up. I would even go so far as to call them psychotic.

[Fuzzysox]

Oh my I think TFDW  needs to name his blog David loves Josh. He sure spent a lot of time with him after Jill's wedding:

 

http://davidlovespriscilla.com/2014/07/11/arkansas-wedding/

[trimthatfat]

I do remember them saying on an episode of 19 Kids that the only two people in the Duggar house with the password to get past the internet filters were Michelle and Jana. So apparently internet accountability is a Thing.

I actually don't have an issue with internet accountability when you have a house full of children under 16 as a safety measure. I hear too many stories about young people meeting adults offline after meeting on social media and it's quite sad. However, wtf would a grown man need his wife to monitor his internet usage?

Edited August 18, 2014 by trimthatfat

[Micks Picks]

I have come to loathe the words "fellowship" and "blessing".  Other words too but fellowship especially making my skin tingle today.

[JessDVD]

I actually don't have an issue with internet accountability when you have a house full of children under 16 as a safety measure. I hear too many stories about young people meeting adults offline after meeting on social media and it's quite sad. However, wtf would a grown man need his wife to monitor his internet usage?

 

Well - I know a lot of people consider porn to be no big deal for consenting adults but there's a good sect of normal people who believe that it's harmful to marriages. Without sharing too much, I know a couple in which the husband was addicted and it affected their marriage. I believe they ended up installing some fancy filter on their computer and have some level of accountability (don't know or want to know what) and as far as I know, are doing fine now. Also, with the variety of social media, there's also the cases of people getting into emotional affairs that lead to actual affairs by getting in touch with old boyfriends/girlfriends. Again, some might not consider this to be a big deal but others do, and being accountable to each other is a way to safeguard against that happening, if you're a marriage is forever, divorce is not an option sort.

 

THAT SAID - you are batshit insane if THAT's the only question you have for your potential SIL, and your other one is about family size. Maybe let's get into things like "What's your relationship with God like" and "How do you plan to support my daughter" and "What do you think a healthy marriage looks like". Also, even if you are that insane, if you put that on the Internet, you have reached a level of insanity that I'm not sure is possible to return from.

[mythoughtis]

I think that the Kellars felt like they already knew David, and those were the only two remaining questions.... if I remember the discussion correctly.,

[BitterApple]

I just saw Erin's hair tutorials. I agree she sounds way more mature than she did before she got married. I like the way she does her hair, but Good Lord, I hope she deep conditions regularly with the amount of mousse and hairspray she uses. I wonder why she doesn't use setting lotion instead, it would probably be less damaging. 

[Sew Sumi]

Chad Paine posted some newer pics of them. Erin's hair is longer than in the tutorials (pretty much waist length), with no curls to be found! You can see the damage done to the bottom of her hair from those rollers. She needs to whack off a good 4-6" from the bottom. And leave it straight! It looks a thousand times better; she can keep those stupid pearls if she wants to continue rocking the Princess Erin look into her 30's and beyond. Ugh...

[Carolyn15]

I find the Kellers to be the most fascinating of the Fundie families simply because their kids are all over the place.

They have one son who left the fold and married the antithesis of Gothard ideals. One daughter who is a typical Fundie frump. Two daughters who could pass as Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, a simpleton married to a gay man and Anna, who is somewhat middle of the road. Pa Keller must be wearing his knees out praying the youngest two don't jump ship.

I have never seen Anna sisters who look like Cheerleaders or maybe I did and just did not know they were her sisters. I find her Father very odd. I hate the way he always has to refer to Anna's Mom as "my wife" when he is talking Josh or his family. 

[Iwadre]

On David Wallers blog: Family Time Together in the Woods; he is having his VERY pregnant wife do a challenge to swim across a lake. Swimming seems like a great exercise, but a swimming challenge.... He's mean. She does look really healthy though. 12th pic is them swimming, 3rd last photo is a shot of her belly. Wow!

[lottiedottie]

On David Wallers blog: Family Time Together in the Woods; he is having his VERY pregnant wife do a challenge to swim across a lake. Swimming seems like a great exercise, but a swimming challenge.... He's mean. She does look really healthy though. 12th pic is them swimming, 3rd last photo is a shot of her belly. Wow!

He seems like a real assclown. I bet he is a miserable SOB behind closed doors. That poor girl should be sitting with her feet up instead of being made to swim. WTF!

[Iwadre]

She looks to be like 8 or 9 months pregnant right? Seems insane, maybe she had a floaty vest on and could just coast along with him pulling her. I hope so! Very weird dynamic they have going on there. 

[CarolMK]

Since I'm not sure of the dates, can someone fill me in as to when Erin and her sister Alyssa (?) got married? I remember Zachary and his wife Whitney got married right before Christmas, but wasn't Erin married before him? And as far as we know, neither of the Bates girls are expecting either, are they? Lastly, how old are Erin and Alyssa now? I seem to remember that people thought Alyssa was young to be married, she was either 18 or 19.

[VillaVillekulla]

It looks like Alyssa got married in May of this year. She is 19, and she'll be 20 in November. Erin got married in November of last year and is 23.

[Zahdii]

I have always felt a sense of hostility emanating from TFDW towards Pris.  I think it stems from Davey being forced into marriage, there's a part of him that is punishing Pris for agreeing to marry him.  Personally, he should blame himself or his heinous parents, but that would require him to face some unpleasant truths about himself, his family, and his cult.

[starfire]

I get very creeped out whenever I see/hear David and Priscilla. She seems like an innocent and naïve 8-year-old trapped in a woman's body, and he seems like a flamboyantly hyper, bizarre, and manipulative 14-year-old trapped in a  man's body.

[lottiedottie]

I have always felt a sense of hostility emanating from TFDW towards Pris.  I think it stems from Davey being forced into marriage, there's a part of him that is punishing Pris for agreeing to marry him.  Personally, he should blame himself or his heinous parents, but that would require him to face some unpleasant truths about himself, his family, and his cult.

He seems like the type who would make her do things just to see what he can get away with as the man of the house, you know? Ugh. He just completely creeps me out.

[Dr.Scully]

I remember being struck by something while reading through their blog. David had commented under one of the pictures about how big Paul's appetite was, and that it was bigger sometimes than even Pris's. It seemed really off to me that a toddler would be eating more than a grown pregnant woman. Then I thought, maybe she's sick. But then she shouldn't be doing swim challenges at 8 months pregnant!

Poor Priscilla. I hope TFDW let her eat enough calories after her swim.

[Fostersmom]

Since I'm not sure of the dates, can someone fill me in as to when Erin and her sister Alyssa (?) got married? I remember Zachary and his wife Whitney got married right before Christmas, but wasn't Erin married before him? And as far as we know, neither of the Bates girls are expecting either, are they? Lastly, how old are Erin and Alyssa now? I seem to remember that people thought Alyssa was young to be married, she was either 18 or 19.

 

Erin was married Nov 2013, Zach Dec 2013, and Alyssa May 2014. Erin was quickly pregnant, but by the sac was empty and there was no baby. She had a D&C in March. Whitney (Zach's wife) is expecting a boy in October. So far, no baby announcement for Alyssa, but Whitney waited until 16 weeks to announce hers, possibly out of respect for Erin's loss. I haven't heard anything about Erin being pregnant again either. 

[Iwadre]

OMG I'm punishing myself watching a video of Pris on their youtube entitled "Ways I am learning to Encourage my husband as he seeks God"

Please help this woman, she reminds me of the Warren Jeffs wives. 

[Iwadre]

"Satan does not like life, if he can't get it before conception, he'll try to get it before it leaves the womb, he'll try and get it all the time because Satan hates our body, because it was made in the image of God"

 

From the great David Waller in his youtube video- Just finished 20 week ultrasound.

I'm not religious now, but was raised Christian and went to church until my early twenties and don't  remember hearing about this in Sunday school. These people are certifiably insane!

[mimionthebeach]

Wow. That's fucked up.

 

"Satan does not like life, if he can't get it before conception, he'll try to get it before it leaves the womb, he'll try and get it all the time because Satan hates our body, because it was made in the image of God"

 

[Micks Picks]

TFDW is a real shit to his wife, but I saw an old show recently where they were visited by the Smuggers, and he had more "challenges" for Josh and himself.  They some ATV riding, with TFDW looking utterly insane, and then he had to get his hands on Josh and wrestle him into the mud.  That must have been so squishy feeling for Waller.  BTW, "challenge" is another term I've grown to hate due to the association with the fundie world on TV.

[andromeda331]

TLC has been airing United Bates of America really early in the morning, thanks to insomnia I've been watching it. It really wasn't too bad of a show aside from their horrible theme song. Kelly made a point of mentioning that she raises her children and not having her children raising them. They each seem to have their own personality and it shows. Like Alyssa who loves to go hunting and actually goes hunting with her dad. The way the celebrate Valentine's Day sounds like so much fun. Erin even mentions college which makes it so cool that she actually graduated from one. There was even an episode where the parents were teaching their younger child how to behave in a restaurant.