Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[crazycatlady58]

Well, I was able to get my 2nd vaccine this morning.  Tge lines were very long and I was a little concerned that they would not have enough,. I got there at 8:35 and the line of cars was about 4 miles long. Honestly it went smoothly.  I was on my way home at 10:00 which I thought was great with the amount of people.  I feel ok my joints are achy and my arm is sore but nothing to bad.

[CalicoKitty]

I did something this morning that I had not done for over a year--I went to Costco!!  It actually felt so good to go shopping with other people again.  It was not crowded at all, and I just enjoyed walking the aisles.  And there were things to buy!  Toilet paper (limit of 5 of the huge packages--but I only had room for 2), Lysol spray, Lysol wipes--all things I had not seen for so long.  Then I went to Bed Bath and Beyond to replace my Soda Stream cylinders.  And they were in stock.  No more shortage.  All in all, a nice morning.  I live alone, so it was great to be around people.  I am looking forward to being able to do this more often.

[Scarlett45]

3 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

I did something this morning that I had not done for over a year--I went to Costco!!  It actually felt so good to go shopping with other people again.  It was not crowded at all, and I just enjoyed walking the aisles.  And there were things to buy!  Toilet paper (limit of 5 of the huge packages--but I only had room for 2), Lysol spray, Lysol wipes--all things I had not seen for so long.  Then I went to Bed Bath and Beyond to replace my Soda Stream cylinders.  And they were in stock.  No more shortage.  All in all, a nice morning.  I live alone, so it was great to be around people.  I am looking forward to being able to do this more often.

I’ve been inside Costco a few times, mostly for tire stuff, but I do NOT like shopping at Costco during this pandemic.  The lines are so long and then they don’t always have what I want. I have been relaying on instacart. Pre-pandemic I would be there when they opened, now I will gladly let instacart deliver it. 

[awaken]

12 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

So today I’m pondering my middle daughter. Her birthday is coming up soon and we haven’t spoken in over a year. Three years ago we had a falling out over one of those phony phone calls to seniors. They said it was a grandson and he was in cook county jail and to send money!  Hubby said call your parents!

 Her son lives with the ex. She said he was home and I said how do you know that???  Her ex said he’s home I was just up trying to wake him.   We believed the ex!  Things deteriorated from there. She sent me a cheap poinsettia she bought at dollar general. Put the live plant in a box and shipped it. Dirt everywhere!!!

A year ago Mother’s Day she sent me two boxes of one year expired candy!  So after sending her and grandson their birthday and Christmas checks with no thank you. I stopped. 
 

We have always had a shaky relationship that would take a book to explain.   Her history is that she cuts people off and never looks back. She’s a heart breaker!  
 

We have done everything for her but nothing for us!

We raised her well. College, wedding, lake house for her weekends birthday celebrating! 
 

So I have two things on my mind. Do I text a happy birthday in spite of her non caring and actions?

Then Theres our trust. I’m of a mind to see an attorney and have her taken out of it.   I don’t think she’d even come to our funerals. 
 

It’s very hurtful when you have a daughter that simply doesn’t care. Hard to make choices in what is right or wrong!

I feel for you, @Jeanne222  my family is the exact same way. It hurts when you care and have done so much to show it, and get little to nothing back. 

[zoomama]

first about the 'should i call for the birthday' topic:   could you have read my mind? i have a child who has a birthday this month and i just brought this up to my husband last weekend. so my child is in later 30's and hasn't been speaking to me for about 10days+/-.  i received a text telling me point blank to make no contact unless it was a medical emergency. its not like this is new behavior. i am just tired of being threatened and manipulated and finally standing up for myself. so, i am doing as i was asked and shipping a package with something that i have that belongs to 'this child' as well as a birthday card. in the end, my life is less chaotic by staying away. it hurts me to say that about my own child, but truth is truth.

and also i have news!!!!   i went to costco today and had my hearing aid evaluation.  and.....i REALLY need them. i just wasn't sure and was gonna delay it for a while but the tech had me do a test run. that convinced me that it cant wait. the truth is i CAN hear but i miss a lot more that i was not aware of. so, its time. i ordered them and should have delivery next week. thanks for all the input here -- it is what really pushed me to go get the eval.  and Temperance, (i think it was you) you were the big push, i believe, with your honest post .  that's what started me thinking seriously. 

and with that, i am going to bed, tired after two busy days, but more at peace with myself. 

[SunnyBeBe]

So glad more are able to get vaxed and are therefore more confident about running errands.  I don’t jump so fast if someone approaches me in a store and I don’t get as anxious waiting in lines.  I can feel myself relaxing just a little.  I still use all precautions though. 
 

How far would you drive to attend a baby shower?  I could send the gift and card without attending.   I’m just wondering what distance most people consider unreasonable.  

[zoomama]

8 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

So glad more are able to get vaxed and are therefore more confident about running errands.  I don’t jump so fast if someone approaches me in a store and I don’t get as anxious waiting in lines.  I can feel myself relaxing just a little.  I still use all precautions though. 
 

How far would you drive to attend a baby shower?  I could send the gift and card without attending.   I’m just wondering what distance most people consider unreasonable.  

not quite in bed yet so popping in to say maybe 30 minutes away, unless its immediate family. 

[SunnyBeBe]

15 minutes ago, zoomama said:

not quite in bed yet so popping in to say maybe 30 minutes away, unless its immediate family. 

Tks.  It’s actually about 1 and half hour drive away....it is a family member(niece).  It’ll likely be inside and no mask instruction was listed on the invitation.  I expect no one there to wear a mask:(    Even though I’m vaxed, I don’t want to be a part of that scene.  I know the expectant mother is not vaxed.   I did drive over an hour to attend this young lady’s bridal shower and her wedding.  If I did go, I’d walk in, leave gift and walk out, so which is better...do that or don’t go? Hmmmmm......

Edited April 14, 2021 by SunnyBeBe

[emmawoodhouse]

13 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Tks.  It’s actually about 1 and half hour drive away....it is a family member(niece).  It’ll likely be inside and no mask instruction was listed on the invitation.  I expect no one there to wear a mask:(    Even though I’m vaxed, I don’t want to be a part of that scene.  I know the expectant mother is not vaxed.   I did drive over an hour to attend this young lady’s bridal shower and her wedding.  If I did go, I’d walk in, leave gift and walk out, so which is better...do that or don’t go? Hmmmmm......

I think you're answering your own question. 

Send a gift. 

[SunnyBeBe]

11 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

I think you're answering your own question. 

Send a gift. 

Right.  I’ve actually shown up at another baby shower recently, walked in left gift, said hello and walked out, due to no mask worn by others AND a child’s birthday party too!  One was nearby and the other I drove an hour to attend.   Very strange people, imo.  Considering they know my position on masks, covid precautions, etc., I’m surprised I received an invitation.  

Edited April 14, 2021 by SunnyBeBe

[Jeanne222]

58 minutes ago, zoomama said:

first about the 'should i call for the birthday' topic:   could you have read my mind? i have a child who has a birthday this month and i just brought this up to my husband last weekend. so my child is in later 30's and hasn't been speaking to me for about 10days+/-.  i received a text telling me point blank to make no contact unless it was a medical emergency. its not like this is new behavior. i am just tired of being threatened and manipulated and finally standing up for myself. so, i am doing as i was asked and shipping a package with something that i have that belongs to 'this child' as well as a birthday card. in the end, my life is less chaotic by staying away. it hurts me to say that about my own child, but truth is truth.

and also i have news!!!!   i went to costco today and had my hearing aid evaluation.  and.....i REALLY need them. i just wasn't sure and was gonna delay it for a while but the tech had me do a test run. that convinced me that it cant wait. the truth is i CAN hear but i miss a lot more that i was not aware of. so, its time. i ordered them and should have delivery next week. thanks for all the input here -- it is what really pushed me to go get the eval.  and Temperance, (i think it was you) you were the big push, i believe, with your honest post .  that's what started me thinking seriously. 

and with that, i am going to bed, tired after two busy days, but more at peace with myself. 

I just do not understand grown kids!  I'm sorry you too have this worry.

I'm happy Costco worked out for you!  They also have a wonderful eyeglass department with designer frames.

I've been getting my glasses there for about 6 years now.  Designer frames, bifocal, tinted glass all about $200. I used to pay $500 plus!I

Lol stop by and get a hot dog on your way out!  Best hot dogs ever!

[Love2dance]

@SunnyBeBe, it doesn’t sound like this would be a shower you would enjoy. Send a gift, if you wish, but avoid the three hour round trip drive. That’s almost longer than I would drive to a shower I WANTED to attend. 😉

[QuinnInND]

“My daddy drinks bourbon.”

- one of my tiny humans this morning. 

😂😂🤣🥃

[Scarlett45]

9 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I just do not understand grown kids!  I'm sorry you too have this worry.

I'm happy Costco worked out for you!  They also have a wonderful eyeglass department with designer frames.

I've been getting my glasses there for about 6 years now.  Designer frames, bifocal, tinted glass all about $200. I used to pay $500 plus!I

Lol stop by and get a hot dog on your way out!  Best hot dogs ever!

Do you ever buy glasses @ GlassesUSA.com? I LOVE that website. My Mom is even converted, she did NOT believe she could buy glasses online "my prescription is too complicated!" And my Mom loves her designer frames, and has several different pair to match her outfits and sunglasses- so her glasses bill each year/every other year is a LOT. I am a contacts wearer outside of at home, or an intense cold, so I dont usually spend that much because "whatever", I got her bill from approx $1200 for three pairs (neutral, fashion, sunglasses) down to $700, they have so many styles, colors and a virtual try on function. I love them.

[GeeGolly]

4 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Do you ever buy glasses @ GlassesUSA.com? I LOVE that website. My Mom is even converted, she did NOT believe she could buy glasses online "my prescription is too complicated!" And my Mom loves her designer frames, and has several different pair to match her outfits and sunglasses- so her glasses bill each year/every other year is a LOT. I am a contacts wearer outside of at home, or an intense cold, so I dont usually spend that much because "whatever", I got her bill from approx $1200 for three pairs (neutral, fashion, sunglasses) down to $700, they have so many styles, colors and a virtual try on function. I love them.

For my last 2 pair of glasses I bought my frames online, but had a local place install the lenses. I wear progressives and there's a lot of measurements that are taken with the frames on. I wish I could afford multiple pairs at once, stylish glasses can be so much fun.

[Scarlett45]

11 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

For my last 2 pair of glasses I bought my frames online, but had a local place install the lenses. I wear progressives and there's a lot of measurements that are taken with the frames on. I wish I could afford multiple pairs at once, stylish glasses can be so much fun.

So this is a funny story of a time I had to “check my privilege”:

Did you guys know that I was over 30yrs old before I realized that there were adults who wore glasses that didn’t have prescription sunglasses? They were just SQUINTY and suffering because of cost??

Before I got bigger and became a contacts wearer, in August before school started it was eye appointment time, and after I had my exam I was to pick out two pairs of glasses (mom suggested one fashion, one neutral) and one pair of sunglasses to have my prescription glasses made. And my Mom would choose at least two pair for herself. Even my father who wasn’t into fashion like that always had at least one pair of prescription sunglasses for driving, a cheaper pair for sailing (in case they got damaged on the boat).

 

Yeah you can make fun of me- it’s okay. I was floored. I thought those little flip things were backups for travel/if your sunglasses broke!(it does take a while to make glasses)  

 

[NotthebadVictoria]

8 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

So this is a funny story of a time I had to “check my privilege”:

Did you guys know that I was over 30yrs old before I realized that there were adults who wore glasses that didn’t have prescription sunglasses? They were just SQUINTY and suffering because of cost??

Before I got bigger and became a contacts wearer, in August before school started it was eye appointment time, and after I had my exam I was to pick out two pairs of glasses (mom suggested one fashion, one neutral) and one pair of sunglasses to have my prescription glasses made. And my Mom would choose at least two pair for herself. Even my father who wasn’t into fashion like that always had at least one pair of prescription sunglasses for driving, a cheaper pair for sailing (in case they got damaged on the boat).

 

Yeah you can make fun of me- it’s okay. I was floored. I thought those little flip things were backups for travel/if your sunglasses broke!(it does take a while to make glasses)  

 

I got my first pair of rx sunglasses this year after being in glasses for over 25yrs, I felt privileged 😂😂. I thought it was a special thing and did not realize it was normal for some people until just now! 
 

i tell everyone now I will never go without again 😂.

[frenchtoast]

I am overdue for my eye exam but it hasn't been bad enough to need to go. I got progressives with my last new pair and I had no problem until we started wearing masks. My glasses are not tight, they slip down while doing housework and nearly fall off with yard work, so they do not hold masks down and it puts the lens right where it's starts getting to the bifocal part and just warps the view. I wear my mask over my nose but it's just barely over my nose because otherwise it's hard to see. We managed to get our Rx from our previous optometrist because I'm thinking of getting a new pair from an online place. But I just got my first shot and I might just wait a few more weeks and get my prescription checked instead. 

Husband got his second shot yesterday and woke up around 1 this morning with body aches, chills, and a headache. Son got his second shot, too, and is also feeling achy and a mild headache though than less than his dad. I will most definitely be taking day 2 easy.

[Scarlett45]

14 minutes ago, NotthebadVictoria said:

I got my first pair of rx sunglasses this year after being in glasses for over 25yrs, I felt privileged 😂😂. I thought it was a special thing and did not realize it was normal for some people until just now! 
 

i tell everyone now I will never go without again 😂.

How was driving all these years? did you use the clip on things? Now that it is spring, I think "I should put my sunglasses on when I walk Cosmo", not having sunglasses to drive would be so uncomfortable for me. Maybe my eyes are sensitive? Or maybe its a midwest thing, because our land is so flat, the glare can be intense?

Or I am just a huge ass baby- this is very possible.

[rue721]

I just got my first shot scheduled for Monday morning! I'm getting it through my city.

The city opened up to general availability on Monday, and I got an email that night asking me to sign up to make an appointment for a J&J shot. I've been leery of the J&J shot because it doesn't confer as much immunity as Moderna and Pfizer (which probably doesn't matter, but that was still in my mind), so I just held onto the email but didn't schedule... and then lo and behold, J&J gets paused yesterday! So last night I got curious about whether the vaccine appointment invitation email still worked, and went to sign up for an appointment... they're offering Moderna now as the replacement! Sooooooooo excited!

Meanwhile, my coworker tried to jump the queue by claiming to be in an industry that I personally think is realllllllllly arguable. Whelp, he got J&J on Monday morning. He was livid when it got pulled, and he had a bad night of side effects the first night. Now he's going on about how he thinks he wrecked his body for life and that he feels like a guinea pig. On the one hand, I kinda get it in that that's pretty bad timing. On the other, I'm like, grow up. And if you had acted like a grown up from the start, you wouldn't have jumped the queue and none of this would even be an issue! I tried to make him feel better by saying that the risks from the shot seem to be limited to younger women with platelet issues (not his demographic) and only a very small number of them at that. He's furious at me now, won't even say hello or goodbye. And we share an office, so that's awkward.

In summary, people are weird.

[rue721]

8 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

How was driving all these years? did you use the clip on things? Now that it is spring, I think "I should put my sunglasses on when I walk Cosmo", not having sunglasses to drive would be so uncomfortable for me. Maybe my eyes are sensitive? Or maybe its a midwest thing, because our land is so flat, the glare can be intense?

Or I am just a huge ass baby- this is very possible.

I just never had sunglasses growing up, my mom thinks they look pretentious on kids. When my vision started going bad, I had to beg and plead to finally go to the eye doctor, too. I was sure I had a brain tumor because my head was hurting and my eyesight was fuzzy -- nope, just not-very-severe shortsightedness! My parents don't have the most proactive views on health 🙄

When I moved to California, I became obsessed with sunglasses, and I love them. But I still am constantly forgetting them and don't even have a functional pair right now. I never had a Rx pair -- I would just wear sunglasses with contacts or squint (I got Lasik eight years ago though!).

[Ohiopirate02]

10 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

How was driving all these years? did you use the clip on things? Now that it is spring, I think "I should put my sunglasses on when I walk Cosmo", not having sunglasses to drive would be so uncomfortable for me. Maybe my eyes are sensitive? Or maybe its a midwest thing, because our land is so flat, the glare can be intense?

Or I am just a huge ass baby- this is very possible.

I have insanely sensitive eyes, and wear sunglasses even when it's overcast.  I also prefer contacts over glasses.  I could afford prescription sunglasses, but would really only wear them 3-4 days a year, and why bother.  I am going to the beach next month, and will just muddle through without my contacts for a bit.  Fortunately, I am not that blind and can walk from my hotel room to the beach without incident.  

[NotthebadVictoria]

15 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

How was driving all these years? did you use the clip on things? Now that it is spring, I think "I should put my sunglasses on when I walk Cosmo", not having sunglasses to drive would be so uncomfortable for me. Maybe my eyes are sensitive? Or maybe its a midwest thing, because our land is so flat, the glare can be intense?

Or I am just a huge ass baby- this is very possible.

Ball caps! I have a weird thing about the weight of the clip ons, cannot stand it so I would wear a ball cap or if it was an all day outdoors thing contacts with regular sunglasses. I prefer glasses to contacts because I have to use rgp contacts, I don’t think I’ve worn them once since I got the rx sunglasses 😂. 

[Zella]

Um, I have never been able to afford a separate pair of prescription sunglasses and really don't know anyone who has that kind of money. I have transitions lenses, and if I still need sunglasses, I just buy oversized sunglasses off the rack and wear them over my regular glasses. 

[CouchTater]

Switching topics to share some good news from my home front:

I have been putting off meeting with financial planners for year because I was pretty sure what a planner's recommendations would be, and that I wouldn't want to follow those recommendations:  save more, spend less.

Welp, I finally broke down and signed up with a financial planning service.  We had our first deep-dive meeting yesterday with their proposals for me, and shockingly I am in great shape for retirement!  I am on track for all of my goals!!!  This new was a huge weight lifted off of me that I didn't even consciously know I had (until it lifted). I have started to have anxiety about my "golden years," as I am single and child-free.  I think I'm going to be on my own little retirement island, alone, when I'm "golden."  And eek!  It's the life I've chosen, but I'm freaking out a little as retirement gets closer.

I still have at least 11 years to go until I can retire, according to the professionals, but I'll probably work until 65 (14 more years), if I'm fortunate enough to do so. 

The only crack in my armor might be a lack of long-term care planning that Medicare won't cover.  I received some recommendations around insurance and it's expensive!  So I'm still debating what to do about that.  Have any of you purchased and/or used any kind of long-term care insurance, and would be willing to share about it?

 

[DangerousMinds]

6 minutes ago, Zella said:

Um, I have never been able to afford a separate pair of prescription sunglasses and really don't know anyone who has that kind of money. I have transitions lenses, and if I still need sunglasses, I just buy oversized sunglasses off the rack and wear them over my regular glasses. 

Same. Just getting one pair of regular glasses (I have an incredibly strong prescription- or I did before I had surgeries this past summer) cost a bundle, even with insurance.

23 minutes ago, rue721 said:

I just got my first shot scheduled for Monday morning! I'm getting it through my city.

The city opened up to general availability on Monday, and I got an email that night asking me to sign up to make an appointment for a J&J shot. I've been leery of the J&J shot because it doesn't confer as much immunity as Moderna and Pfizer (which probably doesn't matter, but that was still in my mind), so I just held onto the email but didn't schedule... and then lo and behold, J&J gets paused yesterday! So last night I got curious about whether the vaccine appointment invitation email still worked, and went to sign up for an appointment... they're offering Moderna now as the replacement! Sooooooooo excited!

Meanwhile, my coworker tried to jump the queue by claiming to be in an industry that I personally think is realllllllllly arguable. Whelp, he got J&J on Monday morning. He was livid when it got pulled, and he had a bad night of side effects the first night. Now he's going on about how he thinks he wrecked his body for life and that he feels like a guinea pig. On the one hand, I kinda get it in that that's pretty bad timing. On the other, I'm like, grow up. And if you had acted like a grown up from the start, you wouldn't have jumped the queue and none of this would even be an issue! I tried to make him feel better by saying that the risks from the shot seem to be limited to younger women with platelet issues (not his demographic) and only a very small number of them at that. He's furious at me now, won't even say hello or goodbye. And we share an office, so that's awkward.

In summary, people are weird.

Only 6 out of almost 7 million people got the blood clots with J & J, and all were women. I’m sure your coworker will be fine. 

[doodlebug]

1 hour ago, NotthebadVictoria said:

I got my first pair of rx sunglasses this year after being in glasses for over 25yrs, I felt privileged 😂😂. I thought it was a special thing and did not realize it was normal for some people until just now! 
 

i tell everyone now I will never go without again 😂.

If you're looking for inexpensive eyeglasses, including sunglasses, check out Zenni Optical online.  They have nice frames starting at around 10 bucks.  You can easily get prescription sunglasses for under $100, usually less.  You need to get a prescription from an optometrist or ophthalmologist, but you can upload it and they will fill it.  I've got half a dozen family members who've used them for years and are very pleased.

My brother is on Medicare/Medicaid, so he can only get a new pair of glasses every so often.  Unfortunately,  he tends to sit on them, step on them or otherwise destroy them on a regular basis; far more often than  he can get a new pair.  He's got a standing account at Zenni.  He tells me he smashed another pair and I get online and order them for him.  Costs about $35 and he wears bifocals.

I wore glasses for almost 30 years until Lasik.  I guess its my blue collar upbringing, but I cannot even imagine having multiple pairs of eyeglasses to match my outfits.  I got prescription sunglasses in my mid 30's and it felt decadent.

Edited April 14, 2021 by doodlebug

[Scarlett45]

32 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I have insanely sensitive eyes, and wear sunglasses even when it's overcast.  I also prefer contacts over glasses.  I could afford prescription sunglasses, but would really only wear them 3-4 days a year, and why bother.  I am going to the beach next month, and will just muddle through without my contacts for a bit.  Fortunately, I am not that blind and can walk from my hotel room to the beach without incident.  

Yeah I dont have prescription sunglasses now, because I wear contacts about 95% of the time, but I did up until I was 12/13 and switched to contacts. 

22 minutes ago, Zella said:

Um, I have never been able to afford a separate pair of prescription sunglasses and really don't know anyone who has that kind of money. I have transitions lenses, and if I still need sunglasses, I just buy oversized sunglasses off the rack and wear them over my regular glasses. 

When I put my Mom's order in this last time for her glasses I did not put transitions in- she was not pleased! I felt like a bad daughter (we were going through a lot with my god mother, and then the glare off of the damn snow with those storms we had end of Feb). She wasnt mad at me, but she had to return and wait 2 more weeks for them to come back. Why does it take so long to make glasses? People need them to see! cant they make them a little faster??

3 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

I wore glasses for almost 30 years until Lasik.  I guess its my blue collar upbringing, but I cannot even imagine having multiple pairs of eyeglasses to match my outfits.  I got prescription sunglasses in my mid 30's and it felt decadent.

In my Mom's fantasies she is like Gayle King (Oprah's bff) and has a huge wall of glasses in her closet to match EVERY outfit, she is a hoot, I may feel that way about phone cases. Pandemic boredom......I never cared this much about phone cases before.

[BetyBee]

52 minutes ago, rue721 said:

I just never had sunglasses growing up, my mom thinks they look pretentious on kids. When my vision started going bad, I had to beg and plead to finally go to the eye doctor, too. I was sure I had a brain tumor because my head was hurting and my eyesight was fuzzy -- nope, just not-very-severe shortsightedness! My parents don't have the most proactive views on health 🙄

 

Growing up is when it's important to wear sunglasses.....I learned as an adult with cataracts forming. Turns out most of the damage happens in childhood. I had very laissez faire parents when it came to most health issues, but they did get me to an eye doctor (subsequent surgery) early and I've been wearing glasses since I was 18 months old! I paid way too much for my last pair of glasses and next time I'm either going to buy online or go back to Costco. 

ETA a question - do these online sites include blended bifocals as an option? I've always wondered about their ability to do bifocals so inexpensively.

Edited April 14, 2021 by BetyBee

[Zella]

30 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

(I have an incredibly strong prescription- or I did before I had surgeries this past summer)

Same! My lenses are so thick that I have actually had to be told that the frames I picked would not accommodate them. The glasses people are always nice about it, but it always makes me die of shame. Now I just tell them to help me pick something because I can't see what the frames look like when I'm trying them on, anyway. 

[iwantcookies]

8 minutes ago, Zella said:

Same! My lenses are so thick that I have actually had to be told that the frames I picked would not accommodate them. The glasses people are always nice about it, but it always makes me die of shame. Now I just tell them to help me pick something because I can't see what the frames look like when I'm trying them on, anyway. 

I can’t even get prescription sunglasses my eyes are that bad 🤣🤣🤣. Blind as a bat! 

[Scarlett45]

14 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

ETA a question - do these online sites include blended bifocals as an option? I've always wondered about their ability to do bifocals so inexpensively.

Yes they do!!!!! My Mom was like you and did not believe they could give her bifocal transitions (with no line because she is vain) etc etc inexpensively but they can. They don’t have physical retail costs and additional employees to sell the glasses so it’s so much cheaper. 

14 minutes ago, Zella said:

Same! My lenses are so thick that I have actually had to be told that the frames I picked would not accommodate them. The glasses people are always nice about it, but it always makes me die of shame. Now I just tell them to help me pick something because I can't see what the frames look like when I'm trying them on, anyway. 

I’m pretty blind too- a (-6.5). I know not every frame works with every prescription. 

[Ohiopirate02]

32 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

In my Mom's fantasies she is like Gayle King (Oprah's bff) and has a huge wall of glasses in her closet to match EVERY outfit, she is a hoot, I may feel that way about phone cases. Pandemic boredom......I never cared this much about phone cases before.

I also want to do that.  In my fantasy world, I can rock glasses like Iris Apfel.  I'm not there yet.

 

[Scarlett45]

2 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I also want to do that.  In my fantasy world, I can rock glasses like Iris Apfel.  I'm not there yet.

 

Amazing! I love it.

[doodlebug]

39 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

Growing up is when it's important to wear sunglasses.....I learned as an adult with cataracts forming. Turns out most of the damage happens in childhood. I had very laissez faire parents when it came to most health issues, but they did get me to an eye doctor (subsequent surgery) early and I've been wearing glasses since I was 18 months old! I paid way too much for my last pair of glasses and next time I'm either going to buy online or go back to Costco. 

ETA a question - do these online sites include blended bifocals as an option? I've always wondered about their ability to do bifocals so inexpensively.

Zenni has progressive lenses, which is what you're talking about.  They do cost a little more, but still better than most opticians, IMO.

[doodlebug]

36 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

I can’t even get prescription sunglasses my eyes are that bad 🤣🤣🤣. Blind as a bat! 

How can that be?  Prescription sunglasses are regular lenses with a tint added.  I've never heard of a prescription for glasses that couldn't be made into sunglasses.

[emma675]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

Why does it take so long to make glasses? People need them to see! cant they make them a little faster??

I used to work for a global lens manufacturer (we produced all kinds--transitions, bifocal, progressives, etc.) and we had production labs on most of our major campuses around the world, including the US office where I worked. It takes a significant amount of time and effort to produce lenses, so no, it can't go as fast as most people think. Your individual lens involves specific material for your needs, a specific prescription that is unique to each individual pair of glasses, coatings, tintings, grinding and polishing each lens, and fitting those lenses to the specific frames you choose. Our lab could produce thousands of pairs of lenses every day, but when you think about the millions of people who wear glasses and are ordering lenses every day, it takes a while to produce things. And for something as precious as eyesight, you don't want it rushed. An improper lens could make things even worse. 

 

Quote

I can’t even get prescription sunglasses my eyes are that bad 🤣🤣🤣. Blind as a bat! 

Any pair of prescription lenses can be tinted to be made into sunglasses. It might cost a little more depending on the type of lens you have, but pretty much any optical store can do it. 

Edited April 14, 2021 by emma675d

[Scarlett45]

8 minutes ago, emma675 said:

I used to work for a global lens manufacturer (we produced all kinds--transitions, bifocal, progressives, etc.) and we had production labs on most of our major campuses around the world, including the US office where I worked. It takes a significant amount of time and effort to produce lenses, so no, it can't go as fast as most people think. Your individual lens involves specific material for your needs, a specific prescription that is unique to each individual pair of glasses, coatings, tintings, grinding and polishing each lens, and fitting those lenses to the specific frames you choose. Our lab could produce thousands of pairs of lenses every day, but when you think about the millions of people who wear glasses and are ordering lenses every day, it takes a while to produce things. And for something as precious as eyesight, you don't want it rushed. An improper lens could make things even worse. 

 

Thank you for the info- that’s cool to learn. 
 

I am sure you’re right and the factories are doing the best they can, but it would be nice if it could be a 2-3day process! Like 3D printing with shipping. 

[Suzn]

I'd had prescription sunglasses for quite a few years until I had cataract surgery last year and don't need glasses to drive anymore!  So I can just pick sunglasses off the rack now.  I'm sensitive to the light and wear sunglasses even when it is overcast.  I need glasses to read and use the computer and have a special "work space" prescription for the computer.  I spend all day at the computer so it's important that the focus area is large enough that I don't have to contort my head to see the computer screen well.

[ginger90]

1 hour ago, Zella said:

Now I just tell them to help me pick something because I can't see what the frames look like when I'm trying them on, anyway. 

I took someone for glasses recently. She narrowed it down to 3. I took a picture of her in each pair, and she chose them that way.

[Zella]

4 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

I took someone for glasses recently. She narrowed it down to 3. I took a picture of her in each pair, and she chose them that way.

Oh that's a really good idea! I'll have to ask them if they would do that for me next time. On my agenda once I'm 2 weeks past the last shot is to schedule an eye exam, so may have to get new glasses, depending on prescription changes. 

[emma675]

4 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

I took someone for glasses recently. She narrowed it down to 3. I took a picture of her in each pair, and she chose them that way.

A lot of the stores like Warby Parker and Zenni have online apps now where you can "see" the frames on your face. It's pretty cool. And many have deals where you can have sets of frames sent to you to try on and you can mail back the ones you don't like. 

[Jeanne222]

2 hours ago, CouchTater said:

Switching topics to share some good news from my home front:

I have been putting off meeting with financial planners for year because I was pretty sure what a planner's recommendations would be, and that I wouldn't want to follow those recommendations:  save more, spend less.

Welp, I finally broke down and signed up with a financial planning service.  We had our first deep-dive meeting yesterday with their proposals for me, and shockingly I am in great shape for retirement!  I am on track for all of my goals!!!  This new was a huge weight lifted off of me that I didn't even consciously know I had (until it lifted). I have started to have anxiety about my "golden years," as I am single and child-free.  I think I'm going to be on my own little retirement island, alone, when I'm "golden."  And eek!  It's the life I've chosen, but I'm freaking out a little as retirement gets closer.

I still have at least 11 years to go until I can retire, according to the professionals, but I'll probably work until 65 (14 more years), if I'm fortunate enough to do so. 

The only crack in my armor might be a lack of long-term care planning that Medicare won't cover.  I received some recommendations around insurance and it's expensive!  So I'm still debating what to do about that.  Have any of you purchased and/or used any kind of long-term care insurance, and would be willing to share about it?

 

Yes we have long term care insurance.  It will cover a nursing home for five years or in home care for three years.   We bought it because our FP wanted us to have it!  She put on a Rider that increases the coverage every year.

Every Year I pay the premium and every year I ask Why!

We have been paying on it for about 30 years now .   The premium went up $300 last year .

The older you are when you purchase it the more expensive.  At our age now we could not afford the premiums.

With that said LTC insurance does protect assets.   Nursing homes are expensive and brutal  They will take everything they can get their hands on.

Being single with no children might change the picture a bit.  Maybe your money for your care makes more sense.  I’m not sure what Medicare wouldn’t pay if you were in a nursing home???  They would use up all your assets then they would pay.  
 

I hope this helps some.

 

[GeeGolly]

I have such a hard time finding glasses - because I have a narrow face, I like quirky glasses and only wear semi rimless. I actually scout out glasses throughout the year whether I need new ones or not because it takes forever to find a new pair. I tried going back to a full rim, but I can't seem to adjust to it. Half my job is on the computer and having a bottom rim bugs me.

[Jeanne222]

Lol I’ve been wearing glasses for about 40 years now. I have astigmatism.  I can see quite well without my glasses when I drive. My problem in up close reading gets blurry. 
 

I have never had a pair of prescription sunglasses!

I have sunglasses from Dollar Tree I’ve been wearing for at least three summers!

Maybe I’ll step it up and invest in prescription sunglasses because I too have sensitive to light eyes and I have to take them off to see my GPS in the car!

[Westiepeach]

2 hours ago, CouchTater said:

 

The only crack in my armor might be a lack of long-term care planning that Medicare won't cover.  I received some recommendations around insurance and it's expensive!  So I'm still debating what to do about that.  Have any of you purchased and/or used any kind of long-term care insurance, and would be willing to share about it?

 

We have the long-term care insurance thing. Yes, it is expensive. Our financial planner set us up with the best coverage possible.

In order to get the coverage we got, both my husband and had to have a separate 45 minute telephone interview with the long term insurance lady, and both of us had to "pass" the test in order to get the coverage. Our financial planner said just answer the questions, don't joke around, and just tell them what they need to know; no more and no less. It was brutal. I was not yet 60 so my "test" was a bit easier than my husband's. He was not allowed to have a pen or paper. In the beginning of the conversation the lady gave him a list of 8 words. Throughout the 45 minute conversation, she would randomly ask him to repeat back the words. Then she would give him lists of 4 things and he had to tell her which thing did not belong and why. Then she would ask a laundry list of health-related questions, and a lot of them were the same question, but asked differently. So throughout the 45 minutes, she would ask the questions, have him repeat back as many of the 8 words  that he could remember, ask what did not belong in the list of 4 things... over and over. When he was done, he literally staggered into the kitchen and looked like he went through hell. I was terrified for my turn! 15 minutes later she called for my "test." Mine was much easier ~ she just asked the laundry list of questions different ways. I did not need the "memory" test. I was still absolutely terrified going in.

We did "pass" and were accepted into the level of coverage our financial planner wanted for us. But ~ had the lady decided to "fail" either one of us, we would have to go for the lesser coverage. It was both of us or none of us. Our financial planner told us afterwards that very few people pass and we were definitely lucky. I'm glad he didn't tell us that going in! I still have a bit of PTSD reliving that experience...

[CouchTater]

9 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

Yes we have long term care insurance.  It will cover a nursing home for five years or in home care for three years.   We bought it because our FP wanted us to have it!  She put on a Rider that increases the coverage every year.

Every Year I pay the premium and every year I ask Why!

We have been paying on it for about 30 years now .   The premium went up $300 last year .

The older you are when you purchase it the more expensive.  At our age now we could not afford the premiums.

With that said LTC insurance does protect assets.   Nursing homes are expensive and brutal  They will take everything they can get their hands on.

Being single with no children might change the picture a bit.  Maybe your money for your care makes more sense.  I’m not sure what Medicare wouldn’t pay if you were in a nursing home???  They would use up all your assets then they would pay.  
 

I hope this helps some.

 

Thank you Jeanne!  The FP's concern for me is that if I have a some need to long-term care that wipes me financially, including my home, and I recover...now what?  I sometimes wish we knew if we were going to live to be 50, 75, 100, etc.  The FP asked about my parents' and my grandparents' longevity.  My parents died pretty young and my grandparents were pretty old, so who knows?

Man, I would hate to outlive my resources.....ugh.

5 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

We have the long-term care insurance thing. Yes, it is expensive. Our financial planner set us up with the best coverage possible.

In order to get the coverage we got, both my husband and had to have a separate 45 minute telephone interview with the long term insurance lady, and both of us had to "pass" the test in order to get the coverage. Our financial planner said just answer the questions, don't joke around, and just tell them what they need to know; no more and no less. It was brutal. I was not yet 60 so my "test" was a bit easier than my husband's. He was not allowed to have a pen or paper. In the beginning of the conversation the lady gave him a list of 8 words. Throughout the 45 minute conversation, she would randomly ask him to repeat back the words. Then she would give him lists of 4 things and he had to tell her which thing did not belong and why. Then she would ask a laundry list of health-related questions, and a lot of them were the same question, but asked differently. So throughout the 45 minutes, she would ask the questions, have him repeat back as many of the 8 words  that he could remember, ask what did not belong in the list of 4 things... over and over. When he was done, he literally staggered into the kitchen and looked like he went through hell. I was terrified for my turn! 15 minutes later she called for my "test." Mine was much easier ~ she just asked the laundry list of questions different ways. I did not need the "memory" test. I was still absolutely terrified going in.

We did "pass" and were accepted into the level of coverage our financial planner wanted for us. But ~ had the lady decided to "fail" either one of us, we would have to go for the lesser coverage. It was both of us or none of us. Our financial planner told us afterwards that very few people pass and we were definitely lucky. I'm glad he didn't tell us that going in! I still have a bit of PTSD reliving that experience...

Wow!  That sounds like an ordeal.  I hope I don't have to do that.  I do think I'm going to have to move forward with it.    I can fit it into my budget, but I just don't wanna do it!!!  😭

Thanks Westie.

[Jeanne222]

6 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

We have the long-term care insurance thing. Yes, it is expensive. Our financial planner set us up with the best coverage possible.

In order to get the coverage we got, both my husband and had to have a separate 45 minute telephone interview with the long term insurance lady, and both of us had to "pass" the test in order to get the coverage. Our financial planner said just answer the questions, don't joke around, and just tell them what they need to know; no more and no less. It was brutal. I was not yet 60 so my "test" was a bit easier than my husband's. He was not allowed to have a pen or paper. In the beginning of the conversation the lady gave him a list of 8 words. Throughout the 45 minute conversation, she would randomly ask him to repeat back the words. Then she would give him lists of 4 things and he had to tell her which thing did not belong and why. Then she would ask a laundry list of health-related questions, and a lot of them were the same question, but asked differently. So throughout the 45 minutes, she would ask the questions, have him repeat back as many of the 8 words  that he could remember, ask what did not belong in the list of 4 things... over and over. When he was done, he literally staggered into the kitchen and looked like he went through hell. I was terrified for my turn! 15 minutes later she called for my "test." Mine was much easier ~ she just asked the laundry list of questions different ways. I did not need the "memory" test. I was still absolutely terrified going in.

We did "pass" and were accepted into the level of coverage our financial planner wanted for us. But ~ had the lady decided to "fail" either one of us, we would have to go for the lesser coverage. It was both of us or none of us. Our financial planner told us afterwards that very few people pass and we were definitely lucky. I'm glad he didn't tell us that going in! I still have a bit of PTSD reliving that experience...

I’m thinking a lot of people prefer to stay in their own home and have care under supervision of a family member. 
 

Most of those I know in nursing homes are Alzheimer’s patients so that’s what they’re screening for. 

[iwantcookies]

20 minutes ago, Zella said:

Oh that's a really good idea! I'll have to ask them if they would do that for me next time. On my agenda once I'm 2 weeks past the last shot is to schedule an eye exam, so may have to get new glasses, depending on prescription changes. 

I took selfies with the frames. Then put on my glasses to see the photos.

[Westiepeach]

Just now, Jeanne222 said:

I’m thinking a lot of people prefer to stay in their own home and have care under supervision of a family member. 
 

Most of those I know in nursing homes are Alzheimer’s patients so that’s what they’re screening for. 

Our LTC policy covers either nursing home OR in-our-home care, so whatever we need when the time comes.