Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

    It is a gated community with a country club (to which I don’t belong because I don’t golf and am not going to pay the exorbitant dues to have to eat in their subpar restaurant for additional quarterly minimums). People run in cliques. Each area (in my case street) also has a second HOA. 
   I thank all of you for your words of support. Not today, but soon I’m going to make this break. It’s time to cancel the cycle. 

Thanks for cluing me in. We're not really close friends with any of our immediate neighbors, though we are close with a few couples in the general area.

Have you ever wondered if a few of your neighbors would actually be very supportive of you letting Mr Chemo fend for himself? I guessing there's at least a handful that are hoping you do that, and maybe even a couple who have been in your place before.

[iwantcookies]

Time to ditch mr. chemo. Let other gossipy neighbors step up or let mr. chemo hire someone to put up with his smelly self. You take care of yourself first. And trust me he is already bad mouthing you to other neighbors.
 

@Mindthinkr

[rue721]

@lookeyloo thank you for posting that beautiful tribute to your sweet son. He sounds like he was a magnetic and kind person, and I’m glad that he was here in this world.

@Mindthinkr please put a stop to Mr. Chemo taking advantage of you and tearing you down, destroying your confidence and taking over your life. He and his family keep pushing the envelope in their disrespect of you because they want you to be constantly scrambling for their approval, so that you don’t have the space to get perspective on the situation and put a stop to it. They are being cruel and you don’t deserve it! It’s painful to read that you’re still not ready to put down a boundary and say goodbye. Also, Mr. Chemo’s demands are bullshit. Don’t believe him. My father is French and insisted on daily grocery shopping every single day of his life — until the pandemic. Because he’s French, not an idiot. Now he and my mother get weekly grocery delivery. Does Mr. Chemo think that Italians have been shopping every day during Covid lockdowns? Because I can assure you that they were and are not. Every person with the means to keep food in their house has been doing so, because that is the responsible thing to do. But you know what? If Mr. Chemo wants to act like an idiot, he can do it himself. He doesn’t need you enabling him. Again, you do not deserve to be manipulated and abused this way. You have been nothing but kind to Mr. Chemo, but now it is time to be kind to yourself.

[Oldernowiser]

7 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I went over last night to do his med check and cook. Of all things, he had a neighbor's wife over to join us for dinner. Her husband was away and I understand that he was trying to be kind.

(Insert screeching brake sounds here.) Hold up. Not only does he have you shopping for him, cooking for him, checking his meds for him...but he invites guests? So you’re an unpaid housekeeper, nurse, cook and personal shopper?

GIRL????!!!!  DTMF. 

[Scarlett45]

47 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

(Insert screeching brake sounds here.) Hold up. Not only does he have you shopping for him, cooking for him, checking his meds for him...but he invites guests? So you’re an unpaid housekeeper, nurse, cook and personal shopper?

GIRL????!!!!  DTMF. 

Wait wait wait. @Mindthinkr I always thought you are Mr Chemo’s PAID caregiver/assistant. This is a volunteer position?

[iwantcookies]

4 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Wait wait wait. @Mindthinkr I always thought you are Mr Chemo’s PAID caregiver/assistant. This is a volunteer position?

No she said Mr. chemo doesn’t pay her.

[Absolom]

Time to cut the cord whether slowly or instantly is the question.  You could back away slowly dropping a task here and there until they're all gone or you could lay in supplies and get "sick" and not leave the house for a couple weeks and then not feel up to picking it up again.  You could just straight up tell him why, but then he will spread that story far and wide with lies and embellishments.

We have recently had a similar event in our neighborhood.  Backing out slowly results in the least gossip.  Telling people what for results in the most.  It's completely up to you though.  

[crazycatlady58]

,@ lookeyloo, you said you would be having a memorial service for sweet son today if I remember correctly. Sending you virtual hugs and peaceful thoughts. May his memory be eternal. 

If I lived near you I would bring you food. Since I can't do that I and sending you a virtual chocolate cake.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, iwantcookies said:

No she said Mr. chemo doesn’t pay her.

Thank you.
 

@Mindthinkr you have every right to put yourself first. Your well being is the most important thing. If it gets to the point that Mr Chemo can’t safely attend to his basic needs then youd let the proper people know. But you don’t have to put yourself at risk. 

[PikaScrewChu]

There is a special place in Hell for apartment dwellers who vacuum at 2 am.

That is all. 

[Scarlett45]

1 minute ago, PikaScrewChu said:

There is a special place in Hell for apartment dwellers who vacuum at 2 am.

That is all. 

Wut??????

Did you end up making the move back your parents @PikaScrewChu?

Youre well within your rights to leave them a note asking them not to do that. 

[Oldernowiser]

11 minutes ago, PikaScrewChu said:

There is a special place in Hell for apartment dwellers who vacuum at 2 am.

That is all. 

Oh, yes. We lived for nine hellish months in an apartment a few years ago and the woman upstairs did laundry all.night.long. Every night. In the 80s vintage apartment-sized washer/dryer combo that took an hour to wash and an hour to dry. Did I mention it was right over our bedroom?

You have my deep sympathy.

[PikaScrewChu]

2 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Wut??????

Did you end up making the move back your parents @PikaScrewChu?

Youre well within your rights to leave them a note asking them not to do that. 

Packing up to leave within the next couple of days. The obligations are piling up and I can't take the majority of my work with me. I was making arrangements with a neighbor to check on my place every few days yesterday and we've just been gobsmacked at how inconsiderate people have become. Management sent out a notice that they'll be off-site indefinitely and only responding to emergencies so it has become a free for all. There were at least two raging parties Friday night.

While the cat's away the mouse will play and all that. I'm absolutely furious with management and am going to be raising hell once I get back. I know the right people to be raising hell with and I just need the energy. 

Notes don't work with these people unless it's really offensive (think see you next Tuesday). They don't care.

[lookeyloo]

3 hours ago, crazycatlady58 said:

,@ lookeyloo, you said you would be having a memorial service for sweet son today if I remember correctly. Sending you virtual hugs and peaceful thoughts. May his memory be eternal. 

If I lived near you I would bring you food. Since I can't do that I and sending you a virtual chocolate cake.

Thank you for remembering. We did have a virtual memorial today. It was beautiful and moving and we seem to be cried out for the moment. One of the couples told us to look outside because there was our dinner. That and a lot of adult beverage has helped.  Honestly I don’t know how we will survive.  But we must. 

[crazycatlady58]

48 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

Thank you for remembering. We did have a virtual memorial today. It was beautiful and moving and we seem to be cried out for the moment. One of the couples told us to look outside because there was our dinner. That and a lot of adult beverage has helped.  Honestly I don’t know how we will survive.  But we must. 

You will survive it may be one day st a time or even one minute at a time but you will survive. 

[Mindthinkr]

5 hours ago, Absolom said:

Time to cut the cord whether slowly or instantly is the question.  You could back away slowly dropping a task here and there until they're all gone or you could lay in supplies and get "sick" and not leave the house for a couple weeks and then not feel up to picking it up again.  You could just straight up tell him why, but then he will spread that story far and wide with lies and embellishments.

Personally I think that is the best strategy. All of a sudden I’m not feeling up to par...gee...

I appreciate all of you for your thoughts, advise, and support. I think tomorrow night I’m not going to be available to dinner. 
The other side of that coin is I have the makings for Tandoori chicken in the fridge. He hates Indian food, but I love it. I feel a me night coming on 🙂

@lookeyloo Wow. I feel so bad dumping my nonsense on here today. You probably need the support from everyone here and I feel bad being the focus of so many posts. I’m glad you had a unexpected good meal and some adult beverages. Anything that will make today easier for you. My heartfelt condolences. 

[lookeyloo]

1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

Personally I think that is the best strategy. All of a sudden I’m not feeling up to par...gee...

I appreciate all of you for your thoughts, advise, and support. I think tomorrow night I’m not going to be available to dinner. 
The other side of that coin is I have the makings for Tandoori chicken in the fridge. He hates Indian food, but I love it. I feel a me night coming on 🙂

@lookeyloo Wow. I feel so bad dumping my nonsense on here today. You probably need the support from everyone here and I feel bad being the focus of so many posts. I’m glad you had a unexpected good meal and some adult beverages. Anything that will make today easier for you. My heartfelt condolences. 

Please do not feel bad. We all have issues. I know I am not the first or only mother to lose a child or go through a tragedy. That is small comfort to me right  now but I remind myself that others have walked this path. 

a question you might ask yourself (and no need to tell us what you come up with - just for yourself) is really why you choose to do Mr Chemo’s bidding when it seems like you don’t want to.  I hope you can get it sorted out to your own satisfaction. 

[Oldernowiser]

5 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

a question you might ask yourself (and no need to tell us what you come up with - just for yourself) is really why you choose to do Mr Chemo’s bidding when it seems like you don’t want to.

This is an excellent point, @Mindthinkr. You might want to ask yourself if there’s a reason in your past that makes you susceptible to being exploited?

My father was a tyrant but my mother always backed him up. So I grew up believing that if someone was angry, it was my fault and that I should do anything I could to make them happy. Needless to say, there are lots of people out there who are more than happy to take advantage of that.

This guy is a tyrant. Asking yourself why you accommodate that can be very helpful...for me, it took a kickass therapist (all 4’8” and 95 pounds of her) to help me understand that my needs and wants matter, too, no matter how big a tantrum a tyrant wants to throw.

YOU MATTER. Try to remember that?

[Absolom]

It helps if you can learn to view the tantrums as the latest floor show.  When you view it as an entertainment production it helps distance it from having anything to do with yourself personally.  

[Zella]

Reading up on toxic personalities really was a godsend to me. I used to give people the benefit of the doubt--maybe this, maybe that--but now that I can see it within a pattern of behavior, not only for that individual but for a group of people, it has made me extremely proactive in limiting contact with those types of people as soon as I realize they are that way. (And also quite frankly preemptively being a right royal bitch to them if need be.) And for the ones I am screwed with having to deal with, anyway, it still really helps to know that they are the problem but not me.

I see Mr. Chemo as being the same. If you view him on an individual basis, it would be so easy to feel sorry for him due to his age and health or to write off some of his behavior as just cultural. And I am sure he knows that and manipulates accordingly.

@Mindthinkr, I like your idea about backing away quietly. It removes the gossip ammunition from him. He certainly may still try to use that, but he won't really have ammo. You have earned that Indian food. Enjoy it! 🙂 

Edited December 7, 2020 by Zella

[Love2dance]

@Mindthinkr, I am so glad to hear that you are ready to take the first step to disentangle from Mr. Chemo. I think each step will be easier and easier. It really seems necessary for your mental as well as physical health. We are right there with you cheering you on! You so deserve better than he has given. Keep us informed so we can support your courage and bravery! 
 

@lookeyloo, what a difficult, impossible but beautiful day for you. I’m glad you were able to have a comforting dinner.

[GeeGolly]

I second @lookeyloo's question, we seldom continue to do things without some personal gain. When and if you do pull away, you might want to schedule some things to take up some of the space in your life that Mr Chemo has. Preemptively filling that void will make it easier. Maybe set up some Zoom visits with other friends and family, revisit an old hobby, redecorate your place, etc. Since you seem to like helping, if you're comfortable venturing out into the community, maybe volunteer at a food bank. Food banks are working overtime right now. Or if you have the talent and resources, 'adopt' a covid floor and make the health workers lovely desserts each Friday.

Anyway, good luck in figuring out what works for you. And if you're struggling with pulling away, hop on here. There's a caring crew here ready to talk you down and lift you up.

 

[GeeGolly]

Has anyone heard from @Jynnan tonnix? I feel like she hasn't been around in a while.

[doodlebug]

15 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Thank you for remembering. We did have a virtual memorial today. It was beautiful and moving and we seem to be cried out for the moment. One of the couples told us to look outside because there was our dinner. That and a lot of adult beverage has helped.  Honestly I don’t know how we will survive.  But we must. 

Looeky, you're doing the best you can, one day at a time.  I remember talking with my sister about a month after my nephew died. She said, "At first, I thought that this would kill me, that there was no way to survive it.  But, then, the sun keeps coming up every morning after all.  God knows, I'm awake all night to see it, but it keeps coming up."  And it did.  He was always in her thoughts and her heart; but she did get to the point where she could live with the loss.

[beckie]

Anybody here an expert (or at least know) on the inner workings of cell phones? I got this one brand new in September.  Last night I put it down for literally five minutes and when I picked it up, it had shut itself completely off. I tried turning it back on, but it kept shutting off. Assuming my battery was dead --it was-- I put it on the charger and let it charge. However now, it barely loads anything.  It takes forever to load here or on fb and it won't load YouTube or most of my apps at all.

I tried setting it back to factory settings,  hoping that would help,  but it hasn't.  In fact it still won't load most of my apps. Like I said,  I got this phone brand new in September and it shouldn't be acting up should it? 

@lookeyloo hugs. 

Edited December 7, 2020 by beckie
Proofreading is a good thing

[lookeyloo]

28 minutes ago, beckie said:

Anybody here an expert (or at least know) on the inner workings of cell phones? I got this one brand new in September.  Last night I put it down for literally five minutes and when I picked it up, it had shut itself completely off. I tried turning it back on, but it kept shutting off. Assuming my battery was dead --it was-- I put it on the charger and let it charge. However now, it barely loads anything.  It takes forever to load here or on fb and it won't load YouTube or most of my apps at all.

I tried setting it back to factory settings,  hoping that would help,  but it hasn't.  In fact it still won't load most of my apps. Like I said,  I got this phone brand new in September and it shouldn't be acting up should it? 

@lookeyloo hugs. 

Is there a warranty? You could try googling your phone model and the issue and see if there are suggestions. 

[Ohiopirate02]

29 minutes ago, beckie said:

Anybody here an expert (or at least know) on the inner workings of cell phones? I got this one brand new in September.  Last night I put it down for literally five minutes and when I picked it up, it had shut itself completely off. I tried turning it back on, but it kept shutting off. Assuming my battery was dead --it was-- I put it on the charger and let it charge. However now, it barely loads anything.  It takes forever to load here or on fb and it won't load YouTube or most of my apps at all.

I tried setting it back to factory settings,  hoping that would help,  but it hasn't.  In fact it still won't load most of my apps. Like I said,  I got this phone brand new in September and it shouldn't be acting up should it? 

@lookeyloo hugs. 

It depends on which phone you got.  If it is an older model Iphone and you did a software update recently, then it might be toast.  Apple is notorious for this.  You also may have gotten a dud if it is another manufacturer.  If it is an Apple product, then take it to your nearest Apple approved repair shop, and see what they can do.  If it's another manufacturer, check with your provider to see what steps can be taken.  They can point you to a reputable local repair shop or help you file an insurance claim to get a new phone.

[GeeGolly]

38 minutes ago, beckie said:

Anybody here an expert (or at least know) on the inner workings of cell phones? I got this one brand new in September.  Last night I put it down for literally five minutes and when I picked it up, it had shut itself completely off. I tried turning it back on, but it kept shutting off. Assuming my battery was dead --it was-- I put it on the charger and let it charge. However now, it barely loads anything.  It takes forever to load here or on fb and it won't load YouTube or most of my apps at all.

I tried setting it back to factory settings,  hoping that would help,  but it hasn't.  In fact it still won't load most of my apps. Like I said,  I got this phone brand new in September and it shouldn't be acting up should it? 

@lookeyloo hugs. 

That used to happen with some older model Samsungs. You had to hold two buttons and push a third to fix it. Unfortunately I don't recall which buttons.

[QuinnInND]

I've been trying to catch up here. @lookeyloo I'm so sorry. If it were possible, I'd give you a big hug. I feel your pain. All I can say is that it won't always hurt as sharply and deeply as it does now. That sharp pain will fade to a more manageable level.

As for me, I am so over virtual teaching and learning. I'm exhausted at the end of the day.  Teaching my class, and making sure all 3 of my kids are staying on task and doing their schoolwork and behaving in class. If we don't go back to regular school soon, I'm going to lose it. Which, the way things are going, won't be til next fall. Ugh. 

[beckie]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

That used to happen with some older model Samsungs. You had to hold two buttons and push a third to fix it. Unfortunately I don't recall which buttons.

It's a Samsung but I thought it was a newer model.  As for the warranty,  I bought one, but have misplaced  the paperwork.  

[GeeGolly]

14 minutes ago, beckie said:

It's a Samsung but I thought it was a newer model.  As for the warranty,  I bought one, but have misplaced  the paperwork.  

Try this ... "If you cannot remove the battery, press and hold Power and Volume Down for 30 seconds to reset the phone."

[Ohiopirate02]

15 minutes ago, beckie said:

It's a Samsung but I thought it was a newer model.  As for the warranty,  I bought one, but have misplaced  the paperwork.  

I would take it to wherever you bought it and have them look up your warranty info.  It should be on file with them, and they should have the information handy on how to file a claim.

[SunnyBeBe]

Yay, we are getting snow in NC!  Not much, just flurries. Still....it’s nice. 
 

I have cell phone question too.  Why would I suddenly get very little service, even though I’m on WIFi.  I thought that boosted the reception.  This has happened in places where I used to get good service.  My neighbors have good service with different carriers.  I’m resorting to going outside to make calls.  It’s crazy. 

[Happyfatchick]

Who said something earlier today about not wanting Pandora to pick their music?  Because sometimes she wants to listen to the same song for 10 hours...

I thought that was funny at the time - but now I’ve been listening to the Piano Guys Christmas for probably 10 hours and I can’t make myself  change it.

@SunnyBeBe before we moved into our cracker box, we lived in a fully established (well over 20 years) neighborhood so close to a tower, I could see it blinking at night.  But I kid you not, if my phone rang, I had to walk outside, down my driveway and into a specific spot in the culdesac to get reception.  All my family and friends knew this, and would just call and hang up, wait for me to get out to the road to call them back.  Funny, but also not one bit funny.  We got a booster and all kinds of boxes with lights and eventually I could talk inside.  Fairly pleasant!!

Edited December 8, 2020 by Happyfatchick

[Zella]

7 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

Who said something earlier today about not wanting Pandora to pick their music?  Because sometimes she wants to listen to the same song for 10 hours...

I thought that was funny at the time - but now I’ve been listening to the Piano Guys Christmas for probably 10 hours and I can’t make myself  change it.

That was me! 🤣

[iwantcookies]

@beckie I think your phone is broken. Try to get a replacement. 

[louannems]

17 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Has anyone heard from @Jynnan tonnix? I feel like she hasn't been around in a while.

Also, where has Christina, the school teacher from South Carolina been?

[iwantcookies]

6 minutes ago, louannems said:

Also, where has Christina, the school teacher from South Carolina been?

She regularly posts on the teen mom 2 @Christina87

[Hangin Out]

On 12/6/2020 at 7:09 AM, Mindthinkr said:

This is what scares me. I fail to understand why intelligent educated people fail to realize the importance of social distancing and mask wearing. I’m considering dropping Mr Chemo. I went over last night to do his med check and cook. Of all things, he had a neighbor's wife over to join us for dinner. Her husband was away and I understand that he was trying to be kind. I tried to keep away, but watching him get almost face to face with her looking at pictures on his phone scared the heck out of me. She and her husband still socialize unmasked with other friends and shop sans mask. He may be almost 80 (feeling like Superman) and thinks if he goes that he has had a full and rich life, but I’m younger and still have many things left that I’d like to see and do. I’m scared. He got really annoyed with me, but I have a right to use all precautions and avoid. I can usually go 2 weeks without shopping. He likes to shop every day (he’s Italian and that’s how he grew up). There is no changing him so to I’m going to seriously consider what I need to do to take care of myself. It’s been all about him for so long that this is entering uncharted territory for me. It will cause chasms in the neighborhood because everyone associates us as being together. I’m sure (or paranoid) that I’m going to made out to be the bad person for dropping him mid-chemo. I’ve heard him talk behind other’s backs and am scared to be victim of the same. He is also planning to take a trip mid-January to see his daughter and SIL. It’s when his daughter has 2 days off. I said “But you have an infusion then”. He stated he’ll postpone it. What part of protocol doesn’t he understand or am I wrong to think that when you are getting chemo you can’t pick and choose when it’s convenient for you? This is all weighing heavily on me. I also see that it’s nothing compared to the losses and troubles that a lot of y’all are dealing with so I’m sorry to put my petty concerns here. 
  Please everyone, do what you need to do to stay well. 

Dear @Mindthinkr .. Please do not take this the wrong way.  I think you are answering your own questions from everything you said.  Your “ friend” seems to be taking advantage of your good nature.  Everything you said points to everything is about him.  Name somethings that he has done or said that meant something positive and loving towards you.  Can you?  You seem to be knocking yourself out.  Does he or his family appreciate what you do and have done?  I think a counselor would give you good advice in one session.  And, screw the neighbors.  Why do you care what they think?  Believe in yourself and do what is best for you.  It’s your life, and why do you need this stress?  He has family, therefor is not alone .  You are still young and can have a good life with someone who shows that he cares for you.  I wish you the best.  P.S.  lying in my bed just now, I realized you are too young to be a cook, maid and taxicab for someone who is not your husband.  You should be with someone and taking rides to beautiful places, having dinner and enjoying life. Life is short, why are you procrastinating ?   I am married 55 years and spoiled my husband throughout.  Now that I have severe back issues, he shops, cooks,washes clothes and drives me everywhere.  It’s his turn because he loves me and appreciates everything I have done.  It’s his turn now and he’s not complaining.  I do cook too .. lots of Italian, lol.

 

 

 

 

Edited December 8, 2020 by Silver Bells

[Happyfatchick]

@Mindthinkr, I think I get it.  I really do think I understand.  Somewhere embedded in all the backnforth was a little comment that “everybody thinks we’re together”.  And you call him Mr Chemo.  In my book, that’s a rock and a hard spot.  If he weren’t Mr Chemo, and he happened to be fleet footed, healthy and snapping at life, you’d be over it and could nudge him off the cliff (so to speak).  Maybe not a cliff, but out the door.  But he IS Mr Chemo and it just wouldn’t look so great to nudge him at this point.  I think I see the whole picture.  Heartless.  You’re not, but you don’t want that to be the general consensus.  I get that.  
Don’t butt bump him right this minute.  Ugh, what a situation.  Let’s think.  How much more chemo has he left?  What’s his prognosis?  Is he getting better?  (Can you tell?  I know chemo is horrific - it may be hard to tell if it’s helping if it makes him ill).  

Is there a stunt double?  I mean, do you have a friend who’s team Thinkr?  Is there someone you can confide in who will maybe help with his demands so you can ease your foot off the gas?  
if not, I think you need to take into yiur “confidence” the neighborhood gossip and tell them that y’all broke up, and his demands are just more than you feel obligated to complete.  Also, make it clear he broke up with YOU.  You may have to fudge a little on that part - do whatcha gotta do.   (Or that there never was a “thing”, whatever the case may be).  I think you probably only need to “confide” in one person.  They’ll take it from there.  (Also, whine a little to that gossipy person about you doing all his shopping [Italian Schmalian] AND cooking.  You might mention to the Gossip that he needs to be on the prayer chain as well as the meal chain.   How hard would it be for the other neighbors to run over and leave a plate of food on the table?  
And then you need to tell Mr Chemo Advantage gently that you’re going to have to have some more time for yourself.  Tell him you’ve loved being his slave trusted friend, but he’s going to have to find someone else to help with _____”.  

My (sort of) assumption is that you’re truly afraid he will pass on, and you will have passed out of his life.  Awkward in a tight neighborhood.  I just kinda don’t think he has the right to depend on you like he does because he has health issues.  It’s not fair.  He’s blackmailing you, and you’re letting him.  I could say that to him (some others on here obviously could as wel), but it’s not your nature.  If you don’t ease up though, one day you’re gonna blow and then you’ll sure enough be in the newsletter.  Also, you don’t want to hate him as he is declining (if that’s the case).  But where you’re headed is a certain hate situation.  Because you’re trapped.  Tell him.  That’s all I got.  Tell him, and give him the opportunity to fix things himself.  Tell him he’s taking advantage of you, and he ought to be ashamed.  Just up and TELL him.  Put that tiny little ear piece in and I’ll tell you what to say.  Move your mouth and I’ll fill in the blanks for you.  

but.  I do get it.  I think I do.  It’s a tricky situation.  Sticky wicket (is that right??).  Practice that butt bump.  You may need it.  Talk to that gossipy person and watch the ball roll.  

isn’t it funny how we all know exactly what we’d do - but none of us are actually there except her???   It’s a mess for sure.

[Jynnan tonnix]

On 12/6/2020 at 5:22 AM, GeeGolly said:

The New England states and NY were the last to relax the initial lockdown, kept things fairly tight and have slowly introduced new mandates, but this hasn't stopped an increase in cases because so many folks are going to do what they want to do. 1 in every 700 CT residents has died from covid.

I really wish all states could be locked down at least through the first of the year. We've come so far from cheering on the medical community, hanging bears and rainbows in windows for the kids and the general sense of all being in this together. Now its like every man for himself.

I will not be swayed. As much as it pains me (and occasionally drives me crazy), I'm in this for the long haul.

Christmas this year will be an hour-ish in-person masked visit (with a couple of windows open). We'll open presents, finishing making dinner, box some of it up, wait until all members return to their homes and then eat our Christmas meal together by Zoom. Not ideal at all. But its all about keeping ourselves and the community safe.

Next year at Christmas I'll be hugging and kissing my kids so much they'll be wishing we were all quarantined.

Since CT has some 3.5 million population, and the Covid deaths at this point are 5224 as of this morning's tracker, I make it closer to one in 7,000. Which is still pretty horrible, but not quite as frightening. My math is horrible, though, and I'm forever putting the wrong number of zeroes in long numbers, so someone else can double check for me.

[Jynnan tonnix]

On 12/7/2020 at 3:25 AM, GeeGolly said:

Has anyone heard from @Jynnan tonnix? I feel like she hasn't been around in a while.

Aww....I'm fine. Just been mostly tied to the news channels lately, watching the trainwreck the country has become as events unfold. I come here to skim through a couple of pages now and again, but I guess I must not have posted much. Thanks for missing me, though  - it really made me feel special! ((( @GeeGolly )))

[GeeGolly]

14 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Since CT has some 3.5 million population, and the Covid deaths at this point are 5224 as of this morning's tracker, I make it closer to one in 7,000. Which is still pretty horrible, but not quite as frightening. My math is horrible, though, and I'm forever putting the wrong number of zeroes in long numbers, so someone else can double check for me.

I'm being blocked by a pay wall, but I believe I read this in Forbes Magazine, so its not my math.

Glad to hear you're doing okay!

[Suzn]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I'm being blocked by a pay wall, but I believe I read this in Forbes Magazine, so its not my math.

Glad to hear you're doing okay!

3,500,000/5224=669.98

[DangerousMinds]

The Duggars and all the rest should take this to heart.

 

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/08/us/coronavirus-pregnancy-erika-becerra.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&fbclid=IwAR0Yn5jTwXOHwmJAVhF8gbTnXFM8KXoMeURmpoIa2ECD_Iu-ikERrdH7Ov0

The study found that pregnant women faced a 70 percent increased risk of death compared with nonpregnant women who were symptomatic.

 

 

[Jynnan tonnix]

3 hours ago, Suzn said:

3,500,000/5224=669.98

Wow. I guess that does work out.  I just did it over again, and got the same. As I said, I'm pretty bad with math, but it initially seemed off to me, eyeballing it, so I worked it out with a pencil and paper, then even double checked it by multiplying back when I was done. And still managed to get an extra zero in the result. Then I tried rounding the fatalities down to 5,000 and just taking off zeroes in both figures, and STILL managed to come up with a figure in the vicinity of 7.000...I guess I shouldn't try to do math.

[iwantcookies]

Home Alone is my favorite movie. Cute article 

 

https://people.com/movies/woman-who-grew-up-in-the-home-alone-house-reveals-what-it-was-like-inside/

[lookeyloo]

23 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

Home Alone is my favorite movie. Cute article 

 

https://people.com/movies/woman-who-grew-up-in-the-home-alone-house-reveals-what-it-was-like-inside/

That's interesting. A few years ago the last season of Halt and Catch Fire used Sweet son and son in law's house as the main character, Donna's house.  The show took place in california but the house is very modern so it all worked out.  I got a piece of "art" from the "set" and it is hanging in the dining room. Sweet son got that done.

[SunnyBeBe]

I recall Halt and Catch Fire. It was really well done.

[Happyfatchick]

Halt and Catch Fire.  I never saw it, but as an interesting bit of trivia, I know (on a deeply personal level) who did the chairs for that set when it was in production.  I didn’t know until right now that ANYBODY saw it.  
 

another bit of useless trivia:  I have a nephew whom I absolutely adore who is as fundy as a  Duggar any day of the week.  Seriously fundy from the ground up.  His dad (my bro) went to Bob Jones and loves to preach - alas, no one else wanted to hear him.  His wife is lovely and graceful and loving and she gave birth only five children but would have done 13 just as happily.  
Anyway, their church kept having services until the state shut churches down.  At Easter they all went in their cars and parked together and had a loud speaker blaring at them in the parking lot.  As soon as restrictions were lifted, they were back in church and most of the pictures don’t show much masking happening. 
i loooove these people, I honestly do.  
But.  At Thanksgiving. My neaphews wife (who is a fb enthusiast) posted 20 pics of them all together with my bro and wife, all the in laws packed into a smallish space.   My bro is 70 but has soooo many health problems he looks and acts 90.  
today she posted pics from last night, their annual gingerbread decorating night.  Same people as Thanksgiving, crowded around the same table.  
But I mean.  I’m sure they started off the gathering with prayer - OF COURSE THEY DID!!!  And nobody has gotten sick (or refused to show up) yet.  So far, they’ve pulled it off and posted about it.  I’m so jealous.  I think I might just show up for Christmas dinner. 😳

by the way, screw the math - I seriously had no idea over 3M people lived in CT.  That’s a smallish piece of real estate for that many people.