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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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(edited)

Anyone got one of those 2020 destroyed my relationship t-shirts hanging around?

We've been long distance for a year and some. Haven't seen each other since March because of 'rona. It's a 45 minute plane ride but normally he comes here. He can afford last minute flights, I have to plan well in advance.

Yeah. He's been busy doing other things... I had suspicions late last week and it blew up. He won't accept that I don't want to be friends. We've been together for quite a while and were friends beforehand, but no. I've muted his number until I can think clearly.

I'm gutted. I haven't told anyone yet.

It's all so small in the grand scheme of things but I thought he was the one. We were together longer than most people who have gotten married/are getting married soon.

Compared to the dumpster fire that is the world, this is so small. I just have to keep pushing through. My small apartment feels even smaller and insular tonight.  

Edited by PikaScrewChu
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(edited)
5 hours ago, zoomama said:

can you literally have a physical reaction to fear? i am literally shaking.

@zoomama, I'm sorry you're being affected by this senseless violence. I'm sending you virtual hugs and praying that you are safe.

@pikachu, it is not small, you're hurting and you are important. 

Edited by Nysha
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8 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. His loss, of course, but I know how that hurts.

Big hug.

Thank you. This is the second time it has happened to me and I'm so done. What is it with these men and cheating but wanting to still be friends? Both of them!

I feel like such an idiot right now. I get he was struggling with self isolation too but who goes on a hooking up spree during a frigging pandemic? He's in a hot spot no less.

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Pika... It doesn't matter what else is going on in the world, your pain and loss over the end of your relationship is not lesser than the world at large. The end of any relationship is hard. I wish I could give you a physical hug and shoulder right now 

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40 minutes ago, PikaScrewChu said:

Thank you. This is the second time it has happened to me and I'm so done. What is it with these men and cheating but wanting to still be friends? Both of them!

I feel like such an idiot right now. I get he was struggling with self isolation too but who goes on a hooking up spree during a frigging pandemic? He's in a hot spot no less.

Well, the good news is that he’s really, really self-centered and none too bright so at least that’s out of your life. And I’m an old cynic, but, “let’s stay friends” is usually just a way to lessen their guilt and/or keep you around as a potential backup plan. I know there are incredibly mature and grounded individuals who in fact remain friends after a breakup but they are aliens from another galaxy and also probably bullshitting themselves. I never could, that’s for sure.

Hold your head high, Queen Chu. It will get better, I promise.
 

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9 hours ago, zoomama said:

can you literally have a physical reaction to fear? i am literally shaking

I'm sorry you got so scared. These are weird times, for sure.

I found this:

"When your body is subjected to stress, it goes into fight-or-flight mode. Stress hormones flood your body and speed up your heart rate, blood pressure, and your breathing.

Your body prepares to deal with the stressor, interpreting the anxiousness as a signal that you’ll need to stand your ground or escape from danger. Your muscles become primed to act, leading to a trembling sensation, twitching, or shaking."

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@PikaScrewChu, it doesn't matter what is going in on the world, something like this is going to hurt.  

I was on match and my subscription expired in March about the time all of this started.  I didn't even want to renew it. Between the world situation and being in the south, most of the guys were 180 degree turn from me politically (a coworker said you live in the south, what do you expect?), I decided to not renew.  I have figured out during this time, I'm OK being alone.  Would I like to find someone?  Yes, but I'm not desperate. 

The same coworker's daughter moved to a state 2/3 across the country to follow a guy she had just met.  They didn't stay together. She has a new guy every month. Then she met someone around Labor Day and got engaged in a couple of weeks.  This guy lives in another state, so I'm not sure if their relationship is still going on since all of this because his employer wouldn't let him use their business account to fly back and forth to see her.  

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9 hours ago, PikaScrewChu said:

Anyone got one of those 2020 destroyed my relationship t-shirts hanging around?

We've been long distance for a year and some. Haven't seen each other since March because of 'rona. It's a 45 minute plane ride but normally he comes here. He can afford last minute flights, I have to plan well in advance.

Yeah. He's been busy doing other things... I had suspicions late last week and it blew up. He won't accept that I don't want to be friends. We've been together for quite a while and were friends beforehand, but no. I've muted his number until I can think clearly.

I'm gutted. I haven't told anyone yet.

It's all so small in the grand scheme of things but I thought he was the one. We were together longer than most people who have gotten married/are getting married soon.

Compared to the dumpster fire that is the world, this is so small. I just have to keep pushing through. My small apartment feels even smaller and insular tonight.  

I am so sorry! You have every right to be hurt, upset, and angry at his betrayal. FUCK HIM. Fuck him. If he can’t stand by you (emotionally) during a pandemic he’s not the one. Of course it still hurts and you have every right to be pissed and depressed about it, but this situation just showed his true colors. No don’t be his friend he doesn’t deserve it. 

9 hours ago, PikaScrewChu said:

Thank you. This is the second time it has happened to me and I'm so done. What is it with these men and cheating but wanting to still be friends? Both of them!

Because they want the ability to be sexually free but use you for your emotional labor. NOPE. 

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9 hours ago, PikaScrewChu said:

Anyone got one of those 2020 destroyed my relationship t-shirts hanging around?

We've been long distance for a year and some. Haven't seen each other since March because of 'rona. It's a 45 minute plane ride but normally he comes here. He can afford last minute flights, I have to plan well in advance.

Yeah. He's been busy doing other things... I had suspicions late last week and it blew up. He won't accept that I don't want to be friends. We've been together for quite a while and were friends beforehand, but no. I've muted his number until I can think clearly.

I'm gutted. I haven't told anyone yet.

It's all so small in the grand scheme of things but I thought he was the one. We were together longer than most people who have gotten married/are getting married soon.

Compared to the dumpster fire that is the world, this is so small. I just have to keep pushing through. My small apartment feels even smaller and insular tonight.  

I am so sorry. It is not small to you. It is worth talking about and grieving. Sending a hug or two. 

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Break-ups suck big time @PikaScrewChu. And this damn virus amplifies everything. 

Hugs to you and everyone else going through shit during this already trying time.

If it makes you feel any better, the big tragedies happening all around us doesn't stop me from being sad and mad about not having a carefree option of dining out or getting take out, at least two or three times a week.

Again, big warm virtual hugs.

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4 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

If it makes you feel any better, the big tragedies happening all around us doesn't stop me from being sad and mad about not having a carefree option of dining out or getting take out, at least two or three times a week.

Are the restaurants around you not delivering right now @GeeGolly?

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(edited)
12 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

The looters got to my local CVS. This really sucks because I have RXs just about up for refills. I have no idea when they'll be open again. 😒

We had terrible riots in Baltimore in 2015.  So many small businesses got either looted or destroyed that the owners decided it was best not to reopen.  One CVS was looted & destroyed by fire.  It was in a smaller neighborhood where it was their main store because it was in walking distance.  Those poor residents were so upset (understandibly so) because they didn't know where they would get their medicine & other things. 

ETA:  very sorry @PikaScrewChu

Edited by Barb23
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3 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Are the restaurants around you not delivering right now @GeeGolly?

Many still do and we have gotten deliveries. But to be honest we rather go get it ourselves. One less person touching our order.

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4 hours ago, CouchTater said:

Trevor Noah's take on Black Lives Matter, looting, protesting, etc is so powerful.  I have watched it twice.  It's 18 minutes long.  Please watch.

 

I watched. It gave me a lot to think about. Thank you for posting it. 

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PikaScrewChu, I'm so sorry. I can't believe that asshole thought you would be fine with being friends after he cheated on you. I don't get what goes through some people's heads--who on earth wants to be friends with someone who didn't value your relationship enough to keep it in their pants? And during a pandemic, no less. 

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10 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

I'm sorry you got so scared. These are weird times, for sure.

I found this:

"When your body is subjected to stress, it goes into fight-or-flight mode. Stress hormones flood your body and speed up your heart rate, blood pressure, and your breathing.

Your body prepares to deal with the stressor, interpreting the anxiousness as a signal that you’ll need to stand your ground or escape from danger. Your muscles become primed to act, leading to a trembling sensation, twitching, or shaking."

 

13 hours ago, Nysha said:

@zoomama, I'm sorry you're being affected by this senseless violence. I'm sending you virtual hugs and praying that you are safe.

@pikachu, it is not small, you're hurting and you are important. 

well i am fine today. it was not violent as far as i have read. they did close the freeway and i saw many photos of marchers etc.  my friend whose back fence was at the center of the protest said it was peaceful.  i hope its quieter today. i am feeling a ton of stress in a normal day in my life lately -- this stuff is over the top. 

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Wise words from MLK that resonate today more than ever:

It’s sad that these powerful words from Martin Luther King Jr. are still needed today.

"Urban riots must now be recognized as durable social phenomena. They may be deplored, but they are there and should be understood. Urban riots are a special form of violence. They are not insurrections. The rioters are not seeking to seize territory or to attain control of institutions. They are mainly intended to shock the white community. They are a distorted form of social protest.

The looting which is their principal feature serves many functions. It enables the most enraged and deprived Negro to take hold of consumer goods with the ease the white man does by using his purse. Often the Negro does not even want what he takes; he wants the experience of taking. But most of all, alienated from society and knowing that this society cherishes property above people, he is shocking it by abusing property rights.

There are thus elements of emotional catharsis in the violent act. This may explain why most cities in which riots have occurred have not had a repetition, even though the causative conditions remain. It is also noteworthy that the amount of physical harm done to white people other than police is infinitesimal and in Detroit whites and Negroes looted in unity.

A profound judgment of today's riots was expressed by Victor Hugo a century ago. He said, 'If a soul is left in the darkness, sins will be committed. The guilty one is not he who commits the sin, but he who causes the darkness.'

The policymakers of the white society have caused the darkness; they create discrimination; they structured slums; and they perpetuate unemployment, ignorance and poverty. It is incontestable and deplorable that Negroes have committed crimes; but they are derivative crimes. They are born of the greater crimes of the white society. When we ask Negroes to abide by the law, let us also demand that the white man abide by law in the ghettos.

Day-in and day-out he violates welfare laws to deprive the poor of their meager allotments; he flagrantly violates building codes and regulations; his police make a mockery of law; and he violates laws on equal employment and education and the provisions for civic services. The slums are the handiwork of a vicious system of the white society; Negroes live in them but do not make them any more than a prisoner makes a prison.

Let us say boldly that if the violations of law by the white man in the slums over the years were calculated and compared with the law-breaking of a few days of riots, the hardened criminal would be the white man. These are often difficult things to say but I have come to see more and more that it is necessary to utter the truth in order to deal with the great problems that we face in our society."

-Martin Luther King Jr.

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13 hours ago, Oldernowiser said:

Well, the good news is that he’s really, really self-centered and none too bright so at least that’s out of your life. And I’m an old cynic, but, “let’s stay friends” is usually just a way to lessen their guilt and/or keep you around as a potential backup plan. I know there are incredibly mature and grounded individuals who in fact remain friends after a breakup but they are aliens from another galaxy and also probably bullshitting themselves. I never could, that’s for sure.

Hold your head high, Queen Chu. It will get better, I promise.
 

Thank you. He's in a field where they are supposed to be taking this seriously because if he gets sick at this stage, he's basically done. So that adds onto the wtf factor. He wasn't coping with self isolation at all, to the point I was about to make the drive a month and a half ago to see him despite everything going on. Guess he found a way to cope with it. 

5 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I am so sorry! You have every right to be hurt, upset, and angry at his betrayal. FUCK HIM. Fuck him. If he can’t stand by you (emotionally) during a pandemic he’s not the one. Of course it still hurts and you have every right to be pissed and depressed about it, but this situation just showed his true colors. No don’t be his friend he doesn’t deserve it. 

Because they want the ability to be sexually free but use you for your emotional labor. NOPE. 

It's been a clusterfuck. I've felt betrayed before but he was the first man I loved completely and truly with all of my heart. I have opened up to a couple people who won't personally go and kill him or send John Mulaney to do it for them. I will wait a bit to open up to others. I'm going to have to tell my parents soon. I'm not prepared for that.

Not to make it personal but the events over the past week were making me think about our future. He's a PoC and I'm so white I'm translucent. Any children we had would have been visibly mixed. I didn't know what to say with everything going on because that was in the back of my mind. How would I be able to guide a small child through the systemic barriers they would face due to being mixed? I've had friends make meanspirited jokes about his race, but have been posting stuff about how racism has gone on too long. I haven't said anything to them but the irony has not been lost on me.

Thank you for letting me vent. I'm so exhausted. My friends are baffled because he was very devoted despite everything. Now I'm left to wonder what happened.

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Please don’t exhaust yourself wondering “what happened.” Chances are nothing did...he just decided that his...appendage...was in charge of his brain. It’s rather common. I’m just glad you aren’t married to him with two kids and a shattered life...better to know now, yes?

I get that your friends are angry for you, but racist shit is racist shit. Feckless horndogs exist in all colors and sizes.

As someone who has been around for a long time, it warms my heart when I see multi-racial couples and families, especially on television. That’s new in my lifetime and it gives me a tiny shred of hope. Because having the “other” become “us” is a path that might help us start to fix this.

Have another hug...

 

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9 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

Please don’t exhaust yourself wondering “what happened.” Chances are nothing did...he just decided that his...appendage...was in charge of his brain. It’s rather common. I’m just glad you aren’t married to him with two kids and a shattered life...better to know now, yes?

I get that your friends are angry for you, but racist shit is racist shit. Feckless horndogs exist in all colors and sizes.

 

I agree with @Oldernowiser. “Staying friends” can happen when no one did anything bad to the other person, but people weren’t sexually or romantically compatible. Cheating after affirmations of love during a PANDEMIC isn’t one of those situations. And all people of races, colors, genders and sexual orientations cheat- it’s a character thing. 

He wasn’t worth it @PikaScrewChu!! You have have loved him but he didn’t love you, and he did it because he cared more about his drive for partnered sex than he did your relationship. That’s all that happened. Best to know what his priorities are now before you did breed or combine finances with him you know!

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(edited)
16 hours ago, PikaScrewChu said:

Anyone got one of those 2020 destroyed my relationship t-shirts hanging around?

We've been long distance for a year and some. Haven't seen each other since March because of 'rona. It's a 45 minute plane ride but normally he comes here. He can afford last minute flights, I have to plan well in advance.

Yeah. He's been busy doing other things... I had suspicions late last week and it blew up. He won't accept that I don't want to be friends. We've been together for quite a while and were friends beforehand, but no. I've muted his number until I can think clearly.

I'm gutted. I haven't told anyone yet.

It's all so small in the grand scheme of things but I thought he was the one. We were together longer than most people who have gotten married/are getting married soon.

Compared to the dumpster fire that is the world, this is so small. I just have to keep pushing through. My small apartment feels even smaller and insular tonight.  

I’m sorry. Sending you virtual hugs and snacks.

Edited by galaxychaser
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48 minutes ago, PikaScrewChu said:

Thank you. He's in a field where they are supposed to be taking this seriously because if he gets sick at this stage, he's basically done. So that adds onto the wtf factor. He wasn't coping with self isolation at all, to the point I was about to make the drive a month and a half ago to see him despite everything going on. Guess he found a way to cope with it. 

It's been a clusterfuck. I've felt betrayed before but he was the first man I loved completely and truly with all of my heart. I have opened up to a couple people who won't personally go and kill him or send John Mulaney to do it for them. I will wait a bit to open up to others. I'm going to have to tell my parents soon. I'm not prepared for that.

Not to make it personal but the events over the past week were making me think about our future. He's a PoC and I'm so white I'm translucent. Any children we had would have been visibly mixed. I didn't know what to say with everything going on because that was in the back of my mind. How would I be able to guide a small child through the systemic barriers they would face due to being mixed? I've had friends make meanspirited jokes about his race, but have been posting stuff about how racism has gone on too long. I haven't said anything to them but the irony has not been lost on me.

Thank you for letting me vent. I'm so exhausted. My friends are baffled because he was very devoted despite everything. Now I'm left to wonder what happened.

You know who John Mulaney is. I Stan him so much. He can’t fight 🤣.  I would not be friends with your ex. I agree he wants to keep using you for his purpose. Best to cut him out of your life.

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9 hours ago, CouchTater said:

Trevor Noah's take on Black Lives Matter, looting, protesting, etc is so powerful.  I have watched it twice.  It's 18 minutes long.  Please watch.

 

This video explains so much. Should be available on all over-air channels and streaming sites. Powerful.

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on another topic TOTALLY, i just got back from the pharmacy. my doctor ordered a new med to treat my asthma. i take several daily rx's already and still struggle to breath (not wheezing so much - just cant breath). so this one is a monthly shot. i went to check my share of cost.........$4700 monthly after insurance! yeah - thats not happening!!!! 

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9 minutes ago, zoomama said:

on another topic TOTALLY, i just got back from the pharmacy. my doctor ordered a new med to treat my asthma. i take several daily rx's already and still struggle to breath (not wheezing so much - just cant breath). so this one is a monthly shot. i went to check my share of cost.........$4700 monthly after insurance! yeah - thats not happening!!!! 

Is there a coupon or some sort of discount you can get from the pharmaceutical company?  I have had some eye problems since 2012 and the first doctor I saw told me insurance companies will not pay much of anything on various eye drops and that is the one prescription there is enough difference in generic and name brand and my doctors recommend name brand (I have had a corneal transplant).  I think some of the workers at my pharmacy remember my breakdown before one of the surgeries.  I had to get one prescription for three drops and it was $150. I did apologize because I knew it wasn't their fault, they were just in the line of fire.  Yeah, a few months later I had to get another prescription and the woman told me the cost and then she said, "is that okay?" I guess she was the one that was on the receiving end of my breakdown. Yeah, it was okay and I was more prepared for the cost.  After reading this, I'm just thankful it wasn't $4700.  

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(edited)
17 minutes ago, zoomama said:

on another topic TOTALLY, i just got back from the pharmacy. my doctor ordered a new med to treat my asthma. i take several daily rx's already and still struggle to breath (not wheezing so much - just cant breath). so this one is a monthly shot. i went to check my share of cost.........$4700 monthly after insurance! yeah - thats not happening!!!! 

There are Patient Assistance programs for people and probably this drug if it's that expensive. I'd look at https://www.rxassist.org/patients and enter the name of the drug, you might just qualify.

Also look on goodrx.com enter the name of the drug then scroll down and it should give you the info on drug assistance programs. 

Yea my derm was thinking she was being helpful by giving me a new drug for my eczema, at $500 a month. Fun. And the pharmacy actually called me to ask if I REALLY wanted to spend that much. Nope, not happening.

Edited by Chicklet
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the cost of all asthma meds has gone up dramatically and no generics.

my last inhaler script cost $390 for 1 month. that was with insurance. I could not use a coupon/promo from the company website because i had used a coupon from them once before

I play the insurance/med/pharmacy game all the time and I could not win this one.

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33 minutes ago, zoomama said:

on another topic TOTALLY, i just got back from the pharmacy. my doctor ordered a new med to treat my asthma. i take several daily rx's already and still struggle to breath (not wheezing so much - just cant breath). so this one is a monthly shot. i went to check my share of cost.........$4700 monthly after insurance! yeah - thats not happening!!!! 

If it's a name-brand drug, check the manufacturer's website for savings options.  One thing to keep in mind, and depending on what state you're in, the pharmacy staff may not be able to bring up cost-savings programs.  If the patient asks, then the info can be given.  It's crazy, and it drove me batty when I was a tech.  Maryland just changed that law within the last few years so staff can mention the programs.  Pharmaceuticals is a dog-eat-dog world where money rules, and the health & safety of patients is at the bottom of the list.

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2 minutes ago, sixlets said:

If it's a name-brand drug, check the manufacturer's website for savings options.  One thing to keep in mind, and depending on what state you're in, the pharmacy staff may not be able to bring up cost-savings programs.  If the patient asks, then the info can be given.  It's crazy, and it drove me batty when I was a tech.  Maryland just changed that law within the last few years so staff can mention the programs.  Pharmaceuticals is a dog-eat-dog world where money rules, and the health & safety of patients is at the bottom of the list.

didnt know that and i will follow up with it when i return to the rx. still waiting to hear back from the doctor.

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7 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Yikes @zoomama. Have you checked Walmart for their cost? They have a large list of meds they sell at far cheaper costs than many pharmacies. 

i have kaiser so i am limited to their pharmacy.

 

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50 minutes ago, zoomama said:

on another topic TOTALLY, i just got back from the pharmacy. my doctor ordered a new med to treat my asthma. i take several daily rx's already and still struggle to breath (not wheezing so much - just cant breath). so this one is a monthly shot. i went to check my share of cost.........$4700 monthly after insurance! yeah - thats not happening!!!! 

is the injection to be administered in your PCP's office? if so, ask if a rep gave samples they can give you for free.

I have had luck with that on asthma med's, but pandemic messed that up.

but depending on your area and the various things allowed in various states. if they have the meds in office as a sample you my be able to get it. worth an ask anyway

 

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11 hours ago, CouchTater said:

Trevor Noah's take on Black Lives Matter, looting, protesting, etc is so powerful.  I have watched it twice.  It's 18 minutes long.  Please watch.

 

I watched. Very powerful and lots of food for thought. I read his book “Born a Crime”. It’s very much worth reading. We also watch the show. And we are way out of the demographic but appreciate his perspective. 

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7 minutes ago, zoomama said:

i have kaiser so i am limited to their pharmacy.

 

Costco often has cheaper meds too. I wonder if your doctor can give you a written prescription that you can take to the other pharmacies, like Walmart or Costco, and not use Kaiser for filling this prescription. 

 

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2 hours ago, zoomama said:

on another topic TOTALLY, i just got back from the pharmacy. my doctor ordered a new med to treat my asthma. i take several daily rx's already and still struggle to breath (not wheezing so much - just cant breath). so this one is a monthly shot. i went to check my share of cost.........$4700 monthly after insurance! yeah - thats not happening!!!! 

Oy vey. Also try Good RX

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1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

I watched. Very powerful and lots of food for thought. I read his book “Born a Crime”. It’s very much worth reading. We also watch the show. And we are way out of the demographic but appreciate his perspective. 

Will have to put that on my list. Even though I like to consider myself totally non-racist, it seems that we need to be a lot more than that in this day and age to counteract the poison. 

I grew up in an immigrant home (Polish), and even though my parents were far from racist in the general scheme of things, my dad in particular was not at all averse to making quips and jokes at the expense of other races/religions. Then, again, he rather enjoyed Polish jokes, as long as they were clever, so he never understood why it should be an issue for anyone else.

As I said, I don't consider myself racist at all, but I do have to admit that many of the stories and essays I've been reading really make me think twice (and more) about white privilege and the ramifications thereof. We still have so much to learn and to absorb.

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1 hour ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

I grew up in an immigrant home (Polish), and even though my parents were far from racist in the general scheme of things, my dad in particular was not at all averse to making quips and jokes at the expense of other races/religions. Then, again, he rather enjoyed Polish jokes, as long as they were clever, so he never understood why it should be an issue for anyone else

Did you know Chicago has the second highest population of Polish persons in a city? Warsaw is the highest😁. Whenever anyone in Europe hears I’m from Chicago they say “there are a lot of Polish people there!” (This is true!!)

 

The Polish and Black communities have an “interesting” history together in my city to put it mildly. 
 

Have you ever been to Poland? I do hear it’s beautiful there. A very nice topography. 

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3 hours ago, zoomama said:

on another topic TOTALLY, i just got back from the pharmacy. my doctor ordered a new med to treat my asthma. i take several daily rx's already and still struggle to breath (not wheezing so much - just cant breath). so this one is a monthly shot. i went to check my share of cost.........$4700 monthly after insurance! yeah - thats not happening!!!! 

Sweet Jesus. That’s insane. NOBODY can afford that.

A thought...I have Kaiser in Washington state and I have never met a single person there who wasn’t kind, helpful and doing their best. Try calling the billing office of the Kaiser facility where you were seen and asking if they can help? 

Big hug.

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@zoomama  please have your doctor check with the manufacturer for programs to help.  I haven’t talked about this here, but shortly after I got home from burying my sister my roommate was diagnosed with brain cancer. (The last year has been such a shit show.) It’s not curable but she is using a device that interrupts the cancer cells when they try to divide. It costs $26,000 A MONTH. we sent verification of household income (I’m on social security and she has disability from Walmart) and she pays nothing. I’m guessing any treatment that costs that much is going to have some kind of program to cover patient cost or greatly reduce it. She got similar assistance for her chemotherapy. I hope you find something. Breathing is fundamental. 

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3 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Yikes, we just had an earthquake in Vegas. Did anyone in SoCal feel anything?

How strong was it? Hope it’s not too severe. 
 

Ref. The pricy medication. That cost is incredible.  I might try to get a sample from somewhere, like company, to see if you can use it and it helps, if it does, then you’ll know for sure. Is there a teaching hospital nearby that you might be able to get into a trial...sometimes they’ll pay you and provide your medications. Also, apply for Medicaid or see if you qualify, try a Go Fund Me account to at least get one dose, to see if it helps you. Needing meds that you can’t get....it’s frightening. I still stress over my diabetic supplies and insulin.....if something goes wrong, if I lose insurance.....omg. I’d not make it. That stuff is crazy expensive. Out of pocket retail....at least a couple thousand per month for my insulin and pump supplies.

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