Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[ginger90]

I put in my two week notice two weeks ago at work, in person. I had a job set to start. I think the interview went well because I had a job at the time. I wasn’t stressed or nervous.

Anyway, turned in my ID and some paperwork this morning. “Is there any way I can get you to change your mind?” “ You represented the agency well. I have never received a complaint, only compliments.”

Bitch please! 7 years and an in person resignation, and you choose to say these things today? Bye! No I did not say any of that out loud.

Edited May 24, 2019 by ginger90

[Zella]

1 minute ago, ginger90 said:

I put in my two week notice two weeks ago at work, in person. I had a job set to start. I think the interview went well because I had a job at the time. I wasn’t stressed or nervous.

Anyway, turned in my ID and some paperwork this morning. “Is there any way I can get you to change your mind?” “ You represented the agency well. I have never received a complaint, only compliments.”

Bitch please! 7 years and an in person resignation, and you choose to say these things today? Bye! No I did not say any of that out loud.

When I gave my two week's notice at the toxic job last year, I did it in person with my immediate supervisor, whom I never had issues with. She then reported it up the chain of command to the president of the company, whom I had clashed with multiple times.

The Fuhrer, as I had him nicknamed, gave me the silent treatment for two weeks as "punishment" for leaving or not telling him in person. I have no idea, but he was clearly ignoring me. It was the most pleasant two weeks I had there in 2 years. I almost told him that if we could make that permanent, I'd consider sticking around. 😉

In any event, on the last day, he suddenly decided to act like we were best friends and that he was going to miss me and all the work I did. But because he was an asshole, he couldn't resist being an asshole even then and telling me in front of everyone that my business would fail and I'd probably come crawling back to him for a job in a few minutes.

I didn't say anything, but in the back of my mind, I was thinking, "If I am living in a cardboard box and you're the only motherfucker hiring on the entire planet, I still wouldn't accept a job offer from you." 

Because I'm a mature adult, I send occasional updates about my business success to former coworkers whom I know will report it back to the Fuhrer. I wish I could see the look on his face when that happens. 🙂 

[Westiepeach]

I was in a highly toxic work environment many years ago. Some "highlights" were: when my father passed away (my sister called me because our mother was in the hospital recuperating from a series of heart attacks and she could not contact our dad, and I worked about 10-15 minutes away.) I left the office and ultimately found my father's body. It was very traumatic, needless to say. I was out for 1 week dealing with the funeral, et al. I got a phone call from the owner after 1 week telling me I needed to come back to work, because surely I had grieved enough. I also got written up for leaving the office "without permission." AND I got in trouble for leaving my lunch in the refrigerator while I was "away."

There was also no talking in the office. At all. You were there to work, not talk.

There were 2 assigned lunch hours. 12-1 and 1-2. If you were on the phone with a client until 12:20, too bad, so sad. You still had to be back at work at 1:00. There was one time a group of us went on a "field trip" to a client's business. We all got back at 1:00. Well... the people that got lunch at 1:00 still got their lunch hour. Those of us that had their lunch at noon missed out. We got no lunch.

My supervisor was a first class bitch. She would obviously go through my desk and leave me notes saying. "You have 6 pens. You only need 2 pens." Stupid things like that. That was just the tip of the iceberg with her. I could do nothing to make her happy. I obviously did not stay there long.

I ended up starting my own graphic design company in the same area she lives. So now she has to drive down the main drag and see a sign with my name on the building. Karma rocks.

Sorry for the novel. I guess I just had to get it all out.

Edited May 24, 2019 by Westiepeach

[Mindthinkr]

16 hours ago, Westiepeach said:

I was in a highly toxic work environment many years ago. Some "highlights" were: when my father passed away (my sister called me because our mother was in the hospital recuperating from a series of heart attacks and she could not get contact our dad, and I worked about 10-15 minutes away.) I left the office and ultimately found my father's body. It was very traumatic, needless to say. I was out for 1 week dealing with the funeral, et al. I got a phone call from the owner after 1 week telling me I needed to come back to work, because surely I had grieved enough. I also got written up for leaving the office "without permission." AND I got in trouble for leaving my lunch in the refrigerator while I was "away."

There was also no talking in the office. At all. You were there to work, not talk.

There were 2 assigned lunch hours. 12-1 and 1-2. If you were on the phone with a client until 12:20, too bad, so sad. You still had to be back at work at 1:00. There was one time a group of us went on a "field trip" to a client's business. We all got back at 1:00. Well... the people that got lunch at 1:00 still got their lunch hour. Those of us that had their lunch at noon missed out. We got no lunch.

My supervisor was a first class bitch. She would obviously go through my desk and leave me notes saying. "You have 6 pens. You only need 2 pens." Stupid things like that. That was just the tip of the iceberg with her. I could do nothing to make her happy. I obviously did not stay there long.

I ended up starting my own graphic design company in the same area she lives. So now she has to drive down the main drag and see a sign with my name on the building. Karma rocks.

Sorry for the novel. I guess I just had to get it all out.

After reading this I have discovered that we need an angry  emoji/reply. 

That is so insensitive and mean spirited. 

Edited May 25, 2019 by Mindthinkr
Angry not andry!

[bigskygirl]

I worked in retail for nine years. Right before I got a new job I was working with this one woman who quite frankly was a pain to be around. One day we had a customer come in with her little girl. It was August so we had fans up front because it would get hot near the checkout area. The little girl went over to the fans and tried to touch them. The pain in the behind yelled at the little girl to get away from the fans, and of course, the mother was not happy about it. She came over to me and told me she would not come in the store again and would tell others not to shop here anymore. She also ask me if I could talk to management about the other person.

I went to one of the assistant store managers on my break and told him what had happened. He had me tell the personnel manager the story, and the pain in the butt got called into the office.

So lets move on. I was made to be the bad guy in the whole thing. The other checkers were saying I was lazy and was not doing my job. Not too long after the whole thing happened I had my yearly evaluation with the store manager. He brought up the whole thing and once again I was made out to be the bad guy because the other person was his favorite checker. I kept my mouth shut, but I did want to tell him his favorite checker was losing him customers because of her bad attitude. The ironic thing was I had an interview for another job right after my evaluation on the same day after I left work.

Long story short was I got the other job. I did not give them a two weeks notice. In fact, when I went in to say I am quitting as soon as possible because the other place needs me to start soon the personnel manager was sad to see me go, and she wanted me to take Ms. Pain in the Butt and another person aka Ms. Pain in the Butt Number Two with me. The funny thing was the store manager had no clue I was leaving when I left after my last shift was over. I laugh when I thought they would need to depend on the other checkers because there were times if I did not show up they would have no checkers up front at all for hours.

And then there is my horror story about the place I ended up working at. It involves a work related neck and back injury, the group home manager, office management, and workers comp. Not a pretty picture. Let me say I was not the only unhappy camper in the whole story because my doctor, physical therapist and the doctor workers comp sent me to and his office staff had a few choice words for the place I was working at.

Edited May 24, 2019 by bigskygirl

[Mindthinkr]

@bigskygirl I had a hard time decision on whether to give you a heart or the sad emoji. 

My brother is headed your way. He and his wife (married happily for 51 years) summer in Ennis. 

[Scarlett45]

On 5/22/2019 at 3:45 PM, Christina87 said:

If you're the praying type, pray for me!!! I just had a job interview today! I think it went really well!!! I'm so excited. It's for elementary music, and I really liked the school. I'm very happy with how it went! I can't control who else walks in the door, but I feel great about how I did. It seems like a positive environment, unlike the one I left. Any good vibes would be appreciated! 

Crossing all of my appendages that you will get a job that suits you! Looking for work is a full time job in and of itself. 

[Scarlett45]

On 5/24/2019 at 10:50 AM, Christina87 said:

But what made me really mad was when I told my mom I felt worse after talking to her, and just needed some time to be sad. She laughed and said, "I don't think being sad is the best course of action right now." IT HAD BEEN LESS THAN TEN MINUTES SINCE I GOT THE REJECTION EMAIL!!! Incredulously, I asked, "I can't be sad for TEN MINUTES?!" Then we just agreed to stop talking. Normally she is reasonable, so idk why she got so mad. I thought she would be comforting, not angry. 

I just feel horrible. I'm really disappointed about not getting the job, but my mom's reaction made me feel a billion times worse. The day will have to get better. I'm going out with my friend tonight for her birthday, and at least that will be fun!

I’m sorry your Mommy was less than comforting. From what you said she’s an awesome Mom, but mothers are people too- maybe she had something else on her mind or a really bad day. It’s not a reflection on you! But don’t let her make you feel bad. You have every right to be sad. 

[Scarlett45]

Guys- someone in one of my private Facebook groups was talking about going to the Noah’s Ark Museum with her family! Other people besides the Duggars go there. Color me shocked.  

[galaxychaser]

Guy feeds rat on a subway 

http://gothamist.com/2019/05/23/feed_rat_subway_video.php?fbclid=IwAR1d36wyk9yRb15GzHe5s46S1Vx6s4GkzsknUJg9226kmuSzPWALOd2GQXw

[Ohiopirate02]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

Guys- someone in one of my private Facebook groups was talking about going to the Noah’s Ark Museum with her family! Other people besides the Duggars go there. Color me shocked.  

One if my sisters friends from childhood who used to be our neighbor found religion and used to post on Facebook about wanting to go there.  I don't know if she ever did, but I chuckle to myself about her new found faith after being a bridesmaid with her at my sisters wedding. 

[galaxychaser]

Guess who got a painful sunburn? Please let me know what do I use for relief. I’m in pain 

[Ohiopirate02]

Just now, galaxychaser said:

Guess who got a painful sunburn? Please let me know what do I use for relief. I’m in pain 

Take some ibuprofen,  moisturize like hell, and try some aloe with lidocaine.

[EVS]

18 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Guess who got a painful sunburn? Please let me know what do I use for relief. I’m in pain 

This is going to sound crazy, but I swear it works. It’s a home remedy my mom used to use on me: yogurt. Cover the sunburn with a layer of yogurt. It kind of draws the heat away from the skin, or at least that’s how it feels. Keep applying whenever the yogurt gets dry. Wash it off with cool water before bed. For me it works even better than aloe. 

Eta: also take ibuprofen like @Ohiopirate02 suggested. 

Edited May 26, 2019 by EVS

[Zella]

And put your aloe in the fridge for a few minutes before you put it on!

I don't usually burn, but one of the few times I did, I had to go to work the next day and was clueless what to do about it. One of our customers came in. He was a natural redhead with really fair skin who obviously had his fair share of sunburns over the years, He advised me to do the aloe fridge thing, and it helps with the sting.

[EVS]

1 minute ago, Zella said:

And put your aloe in the fridge for a few minutes before you put it on!

I don't usually burn, but one of the few times I did, I had to go to work the next day and was clueless what to do about it. One of our customers came in. He was a natural redhead with really fair skin who obviously had his fair share of sunburns over the years, He advised me to do the aloe fridge thing, and it helps with the sting.

I never knew that. (I’m very fair-skinned also.) No wonder aloe didn’t work well for me!

[Zella]

14 minutes ago, EVS said:

I never knew that. (I’m very fair-skinned also.) No wonder aloe didn’t work well for me!

I have no idea if it really works better or not, but it sure feels so nice! 🙂

I'm a brunette with olive skin that usually tans, so I usually only burn when I'm around water and the sun is reflecting off that. But I don't find myself in that position often, so about every couple years I end up with a sunburn because I just don't think about it until after I have the burn. And then I'm like, "Why didn't I learn from last time?!?!" 

I'm trying to be more proactive with sun protection this summer. 🙂 

Edited May 26, 2019 by Zella

[galaxychaser]

I don’t have aloe or yogurt. I need to buy some tomorrow 

[Zella]

I didn't have any either when the guy suggested it to me. I still have the bottle I bought a few years ago when he made the suggestion. 😄

[EVS]

7 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

I don’t have aloe or yogurt. I need to buy some tomorrow 

For tonight, maybe a cool shower and ibuprofen?  

[galaxychaser]

Just now, EVS said:

For tonight, maybe a cool shower and ibuprofen?  

Don’t have Tylenol either 

[EVS]

Just now, galaxychaser said:

Don’t have Tylenol either 

Ibuprofen is Advil. 

[Absolom]

19 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

I don’t have aloe or yogurt. I need to buy some tomorrow 

Apple cider vinegar also works.  It works better cold also.  We use vinegar immediately with the ibuprofen and put on aloe an hour or two later.

Edited May 26, 2019 by Absolom

[galaxychaser]

1 minute ago, Absolom said:

Apple cider vinegar also works.  It works better cold also.  

Don’t have vinegar or Advil 

[sixlets]

Evening all.  I am still, once again, finding myself in a flare 😞  This has to end by Tuesday night because the thought of having this iron infusion done Wednesday morning AND dealing with this level of pain, it's all going to set me in the frazzled zone really quickly.  I've already convinced Mr. Six to grab dinner home that night, and Thursday meal will be an easy one for me to handle.  Between the lovely (read: barfy) metallic taste in my mouth and toss in some bone/muscle/joint pain from the infusion itself, I'm not looking forward to it.  I also have 2 other huge errands to run the same day.  I'm seriously wondering if I can have my meds delivered Wednesday afternoon/evening by the pharmacy?  Hmmm?  I must call tomorrow to verify.

Hope everyone had a nice, quiet, loud, party-hardy Saturday!  Tootles until tomorrow!

[Christina87]

@Scarlett45 thanks so much for your encouragement!!! I think she was probably having a bad day too. It's definitely out of the norm for her to be like that. And that's so funny about your friend wanting to go to the Noah's ark museum!

@Zella, @Westiepeach, and everyone else, it's crazy how common toxic work environments are! You guys all know about the one I had with that crazy principal, and your stories ring so true to me. I saw a guy today when I was doing my part time job that looked JUST like the dude! My immediate gut feeling was: run! But thankfully it wasn't him. They say everyone has a twin, and he has one in the same city! I've seen that dude at walmart twice, too. It makes me nervous every time I see him, and today, I swear I actually questioned if it could be him, but he was with a different family. Oh well. As long as I keep running into him and not the real principal!

And btw...the principal was so mean the other day on Facebook! I still followed the school, because I care about the kids, and enjoyed seeing what they were doing. Anyway, the band director taught one section of chorus this year, because so many parents had complained. He couldn't hack it at all, so his wife taught the class (she has been in choirs, but isn't a director). By all accounts, the concert was a disaster, plus he allowed them to wear ripped jeans and skimpy tops to the concert! But that freaking idiot principal wrote on there that it was the best choral concert he had ever been to! He hates me so much that I'm a zillion percent sure he said that just to hurt my feelings. I unfollowed the school immediately. It's like...1. Obviously it's not true, according to other people who were there; 2. How would he know? He never came to mine, and 3. If they were sooooo great at chorus, why are they not teaching it next year?

he is just ridiculously mean, and I'm not at all surprised that he used this opportunity to let me know how joyous he is that I'm gone. 

Buuuuut...I'm not upset, because I don't believe him, AND it confirms that I made the right choice even more!

[McManda]

8 hours ago, EVS said:

Ibuprofen is Advil. 

Or Motrin. 

[lookeyloo]

New pill to help prevent/mitigate sunburn from the inside (for future use) and helps skin - called Heliocare.  Dermatologist recommended.  My son's dermatologist recommended it and then my friend took a picture of it to her dermatologist and that doctor also recommended it. If you can tolerate an antioxidant supplement. I've been taking it, got it on Amazon, and where I had some seborrheic keratoses frozen off my torso, where it left brown marks, by golly, the marks are fading!!  Supposed to improve the skin.  Look it up - pretty good stuff.  No good suggestions about painful sunburn except tylenol/ibuprofen and cool compresses.  Then one of the sunburn remedies with aloe/lidocaine.

Edited May 26, 2019 by lookeyloo
Get the name of the product right.

[DragonFaerie]

Ok, um, I'm losing what day of the week it is lately.  Averaging a good 10-11 hours a day at the hospital.  So.  No dialysis over the weekend. Scheduled for Monday.  WBC is bouncing between 23,00-25,000 but no one is panicking.  Blue dye test yesterday had NO DYE coming out in about 36 hours through the drains!!!!  Ice Chips have been taken off his menu - trying to make absolutely sure nothing will interfere with the leak healing.  He now scowls at Dr. Baggs who ordered that.  Today, the bandage where the left drain comes out starting leaking.  Dr. Baggs came in and checked it.  He thinks there may be a clog in the drain.  So we're just going to keep the bandage changed well.  He tried to pull out any gunk in the drain and did get some.  But for now, it's slow healing and go as we have.  No surgery.  No one wants surgery, so that's good.  He was alert and interactive today.  BP doing well, no fever, just exhausted.  He and I have planned a lot of leg and arm work for next week.  But I think it was good to have 2 days off from any scans and dialysis. Meanwhile I'm not sure which way is up anymore.  Yawn.  

[Temperance]

On 5/26/2019 at 12:07 AM, Christina87 said:

@Scarlett45 thanks so much for your encouragement!!! I think she was probably having a bad day too. It's definitely out of the norm for her to be like that. And that's so funny about your friend wanting to go to the Noah's ark museum!

@Zella, @Westiepeach, and everyone else, it's crazy how common toxic work environments are! You guys all know about the one I had with that crazy principal, and your stories ring so true to me. I saw a guy today when I was doing my part time job that looked JUST like the dude! My immediate gut feeling was: run! But thankfully it wasn't him. They say everyone has a twin, and he has one in the same city! I've seen that dude at walmart twice, too. It makes me nervous every time I see him, and today, I swear I actually questioned if it could be him, but he was with a different family. Oh well. As long as I keep running into him and not the real principal!

And btw...the principal was so mean the other day on Facebook! I still followed the school, because I care about the kids, and enjoyed seeing what they were doing. Anyway, the band director taught one section of chorus this year, because so many parents had complained. He couldn't hack it at all, so his wife taught the class (she has been in choirs, but isn't a director). By all accounts, the concert was a disaster, plus he allowed them to wear ripped jeans and skimpy tops to the concert! But that freaking idiot principal wrote on there that it was the best choral concert he had ever been to! He hates me so much that I'm a zillion percent sure he said that just to hurt my feelings. I unfollowed the school immediately. It's like...1. Obviously it's not true, according to other people who were there; 2. How would he know? He never came to mine, and 3. If they were sooooo great at chorus, why are they not teaching it next year?

he is just ridiculously mean, and I'm not at all surprised that he used this opportunity to let me know how joyous he is that I'm gone. 

Buuuuut...I'm not upset, because I don't believe him, AND it confirms that I made the right choice even more!

It's possible that he saw the kids got a lot of negative feedback and he wanted to try to be positive for the kids. The kids worked for that concert and he wanted them to feel good about themselves.Or they sang one of his favorite songs and he's super-jazzed about it.  It's likely not about you.  

I tend to dislike calling anything or anyone the "best ever" on social media. I love my parents, but I would never call my mom "best mom ever" in a mother's day social media post. It seems insensitive to other people and their relationships with their mothers. 

Stay postive, Christina! You got this. 

[Scarlett45]

5 hours ago, Temperance said:

I tend to dislike calling anything or anyone the "best ever" on social media. I love my parents, but I would never call my mom "best mom ever" in a mother's day social media post. It seems insensitive to other people and their relationships with their mothers. 

I always call my mom the best mom ever on mother’s day (and I’m always the best daughter), because we are TO EACH OTHER. It’s not a reflection on others. Having a parent (or child) you love that much and have such good a relationship with is a privilege. We aren’t saying it to put others down. 

I don’t think other people are bothered- the Happy Father’s Day posts make me happy people have such a loving father in their lives and get to celebrate that with joy; it’s not about ME and my estrangement from my father. 

I’m just saying if you think your mother is the best mother and you want to put that on social media I wouldn’t worry about what others think. 

[Zella]

I've been estranged from my mother for 20 years (since I was 9), and it doesn't bother me when people post glowing tributes about what a great mom their mom is. I'm happy for them that they have that kind of a relationship with their mom.

What does bother me is when people post these really general claims about how awesome all mothers in general just because they're moms. I know they mean well and a lot of moms are awesome, but it's just simply not true that every mom is wonderful. My mother is a terrible person and a terrible parent to me and all 3 of my older brothers.

 And I'm probably oversensitive to it since it seems like that underlying assumption about all moms being awesome is the reason people feel the need to try to guilt trip me into feeling bad about not having anything to do with her.

I feel the same way about people posting about how awesome their dad is versus how awesome all dads are, though I do have a great relationship with my dad, so it feels less personal to me.

[Scarlett45]

7 minutes ago, Zella said:

I've been estranged from my mother for 20 years (since I was 9), and it doesn't bother me when people post glowing tributes about what a great mom their mom is. I'm happy for them that they have that kind of a relationship with their mom.

What does bother me is when people post these really general claims about how awesome all mothers in general just because they're moms. I know they mean well and a lot of moms are awesome, but it's just simply not true that every mom is wonderful. My mother is a terrible person and a terrible parent to me and all 3 of my older brothers.

 And I'm probably oversensitive to it since it seems like that underlying assumption about all moms being awesome is the reason people feel the need to try to guilt trip me into feeling bad about not having anything to do with her.

I feel the same way about people posting about how awesome their dad is versus how awesome all dads are, though I do have a great relationship with my dad, so it feels less personal to me.

Yeah an egg donor/surrogate is not a MOTHER. A sperm donor is not a FATHER. I believe in honoring your father and mother, but they had an affirmative duty towards their children to earn the title of mother and father- you don’t get the respect and honor just because you had a working reproductive system. You must earn it through your actions and behavior. 

I think its absolutely  horrible that people would guilt trip you about not having a relationship with a parent. Common sense tells us that parents (especially mothers) are very important people socially, physically, financially etc so if someone doesn’t have a relationship with their parent at all it’s likely because they SUCK and are an awful person, because who wouldn’t want a mother or a father (to love, support and guide them in adulthood)??!! I’m sorry people are stupid. But yes it’s must more socially acceptable to not have a relationship with one’s father, “momma’s baby, papa’s maybe.”

[Zella]

2 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Yeah an egg donor/surrogate is not a MOTHER. A sperm donor is not a FATHER. I believe in honoring your father and mother, but they had an affirmative duty towards their children to earn the title of mother and father- you don’t get the respect and honor just because you had a working reproductive system. You must earn it through your actions and behavior. 

Exactly! Some bitch on an online forum tried to tell me I was a bad person for not wanting anything to do with her because honor thy mother, and I was like, it's a 2 way street. She was never a mother to me. 

[Christina87]

3 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I always call my mom the best mom ever on mother’s day (and I’m always the best daughter), because we are TO EACH OTHER. It’s not a reflection on others. Having a parent (or child) you love that much and have such good a relationship with is a privilege. We aren’t saying it to put others down. 

I don’t think other people are bothered- the Happy Father’s Day posts make me happy people have such a loving father in their lives and get to celebrate that with joy; it’s not about ME and my estrangement from my father. 

I’m just saying if you think your mother is the best mother and you want to put that on social media I wouldn’t worry about what others think. 

I don't mind people saying "my mom is the best ever," because like you said, it's more of a personal thing. I do agree with @Temperance, though, that you should be careful with saying "best ever" in some situations. I wouldn't say a concert was the "best ever" if I was in his position of authority, and knew people would be reading it who gave concerts for me and did a good job. He only came to two concerts of mine ever, and one of them was to determine if I should be fired (he decided the concert was great, so then had to start going after me on idiotic things). I think it depends a lot on the situation. For example, if you were at a middle school honors all state chorus, and you said it was the best ever, I can't imagine anyone would be offended, because it's clearly on another level than their concerts. However, I would personally be wary of saying it when it wasn't even true, and when I knew the former chorus teacher, whom I openly hated, was going to read it. There are plenty of ways he could have encouraged the dude without bringing me down! Plus, he was barely at my concerts, so it pisses me off that he was so supportive of him anyway (he should have supported both of us!). He's very intelligent, manipulative, and good with words, so he would have thought of that. It wasn't some careless thing on his part, because every breath he takes is calculated. It's weird, because he didn't even really have an issue with me as a music teacher. He just overly harped on every perceived or real small misstep I made, while ignoring or laughing about it when other people did the same thing or worse. For instance, the band director comes in 30 minutes late every day, and supposedly you get written up after two tardies. 

It just shocks me how far this man is willing to go to be an asshole. I had already told him I was going to quit when he cut chorus, and there was a rumor going around that he was going to cut it. He made no secret of the fact that it wasn't his favorite program, so I wasn't surprised. Everyone was whispering that he was cutting it to spite me, which didn't make sense to me. Then, when he announced on the last day of school that it was cut, my coworkers were indignant (as was I, because it was a thriving program that the kids loved!). His motto is that he "always does what's best for children, regardless of how adults feel about it." So how is this best for children?! Anyway, so many people said he was doing it to spite me that I asked a friend why, and she said, "everyone thinks he's sending you the message, 'well, we don't need you either!'" She also predicted he would cut chorus for a year to send me that message, and then bring it back. He gets to spite me, but not damage the school in the long run. She was right about that, as he has advertised for a second semester only chorus and drama job next year! I can't imagine it will be easy to find the elite caliber teacher he demands for part time work. I think maybe it's a mix of reasons. He wanted to spite me and make me feel like all the work I had done was insignificant, and he realized (but wouldn't admit) that we'd never have the "elite" (once he said Broadway level) program he demanded because I wasn't allowed to choose my cast for the musical (I had to take whoever signed up, and couldn't even put the better actors in second semester for the musical), and I couldn't have an all year, preferably audition only chorus to do competitions. You can't take a ragtag bunch, half of who don't want to be there, who have been with you for a month, to a competition. My guess is he'll find some December college grad with stars in their eyes and demand that they do competitions and a Broadway quality musical, luring them in with the promise of a full time job the next year if they can work hard enough to pull off a miracle. And because he likes them personally, he will make concessions for them that he wouldn't make for me, and then brag about how they finally have the right teacher, until a few years down the road when he decides he doesn't like them either, and chases them off. 

All I have to say is thank GOD this asshole is in the rear view mirror, and I can't wait until karma comes his way. 

Edited May 27, 2019 by Christina87

[lookeyloo]

Re: Best Mother ever, I didn't have one.  But that doesn't mean other folks didn't either.  I like to think I am the Best Mother Ever to my sons - they only have their evil stepmother to compare me to, haha.  What annoys me more is when people I know post on Facebook pictures of their grandchildren.  And say "aren't these the Most Beautiful Children Ever?".  Well, to them, but to me, Mine are the Most Beautiful Ever, but, I don't say that the rare times I post a picture!!  Sometimes someone else will respond "Mine are Most Beautiful" and original poster will argue, no they are not.  I have had the temptation to respond to someone I know saying "Don't worry, she/he will probably grow into their looks and one day will be nice looking".  But, of course I don't!

[Nysha]

@galaxychaser, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time finding friends. I'm lucky to have 2 good friends, but we're friends because they decided they wanted to be friends with me.

I wish I had some surefire advice, but I have no idea how to make friends. I'm very shy, I hate small talk, and I'm not good with people I don't know. I joined a women's group in my town that has helped me get out of the house and socialize with other people, but I haven't actually made friends with any of them outside of the group.

[awaken]

11 hours ago, Zella said:

I've been estranged from my mother for 20 years (since I was 9), and it doesn't bother me when people post glowing tributes about what a great mom their mom is. I'm happy for them that they have that kind of a relationship with their mom.

What does bother me is when people post these really general claims about how awesome all mothers in general just because they're moms. I know they mean well and a lot of moms are awesome, but it's just simply not true that every mom is wonderful. My mother is a terrible person and a terrible parent to me and all 3 of my older brothers.

 And I'm probably oversensitive to it since it seems like that underlying assumption about all moms being awesome is the reason people feel the need to try to guilt trip me into feeling bad about not having anything to do with her.

I feel the same way about people posting about how awesome their dad is versus how awesome all dads are, though I do have a great relationship with my dad, so it feels less personal to me.

Your post makes me feel more normal, thanks!  My mom sucks and we barely have a relationship. The very little we do have is because my kids want to be in touch. I can’t even relate to what people are talking about with having close and loving relationships with their moms!

[Zella]

4 minutes ago, awaken said:

Your post makes me feel more normal, thanks!  My mom sucks and we barely have a relationship. The very little we do have is because my kids want to be in touch. I can’t even relate to what people are talking about with having close and loving relationships with their moms!

Thanks, it makes me feel more normal too to know it's not just me and my mother.

I remember in college once blurting out "why would you do that?" when someone told me she called and talked to her mom every day and told her everything. Didn't even occur to me that I did that every day with my dad and his mom separately, so it shouldn't be such a foreign concept to me. 

[Marshmallow Mollie]

I’m in the club too @Zella and @awaken Agreed that people don’t understand how complex it is to have an estranged relationship with your mother. 

[galaxychaser]

So update grifter is moving with parents from NJ to TX this summer. All her talk about moving to DC or NYC was nothing but talk. Soulmate of the month is still going on. Poor guy don’t know what hit him. When she leaves he will have $0. TX men here she comes... 

and she is upset with me because I didn’t buy her a present or take her out to Olive Garden for her birthday this month. Never mind that all I ever got was happy birthday on Facebook. 

1 “friend” down!!!

[Rabbittron]

Help I can't sleep so I am watching LPBW the Duggar version where they have a gender reveal party and they say this is a new season of life.

Edited May 28, 2019 by Rabbittron

[ginger90]

Good thoughts going out to people experiencing the effects of the storms.

[NotFundie]

10 hours ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

I’m in the club too @Zella and @awaken Agreed that people don’t understand how complex it is to have an estranged relationship with your mother. 

I'm part of that club too.  My mom died recently (extreme old age) and I couldn't muster up any grief.  For years, my siblings and I referred to her as "Aunt Joan" (not her real name name) because the word "Mom" is so weighted with meaning.  You can emotionally distance yourself from a crazy aunt.  It's not as easy with a malignant mom.

[Sew Sumi]

My SIL and I refer to my MIL as Emma after the super self-absorbed Jane Austen character. I spent 45 minutes on hold with the DMV doing her business this morning. Called her to update, was rewarded with irrational yelling and name calling. She has already called me a liar because I delivered news that she didn't like. It just gets worse the older she becomes. There is no reasoning with her. She just said very hurtful things to my husband yesterday as he helped her with some tasks. Then she wonders why no one will take her phone calls. She is impossible and forces us to self-medicate (I take a Xanax) before dealing with her. 

Sigh....

[sixlets]

Evening all!  I hope everyone is safe, sound, and undamaged from all the storms.  A confirmed tornado touched down about 1.5 miles from my mom's house in PA, but thankfully, there were no injuries.  Another one hit Columbia, Maryland at the same time Mr. Six was trying to get home from DC last Thursday.  Tomorrow is my iron infusion, and I am sooo not feeling it.  I'm not worried about the procedure itself, it's the knowing of what's to come afterward.  After being sick for nearly 10 years, blood draws/injections do not phase me.  I'm to the point that if the person is good at their job, I don't even feel the needle anymore.  But, I know the bone & joint pain that is to come tomorrow afternoon/evening.  Taco Hell is making our dinner, and my reward will be cinnamon churros.  I need to make a Target run before my appointment to grab a birthday card and gift for Mr. Six.  I also want to find a Father's Day card from the cats for him as well.  I always joke that he's my kitty daddy.  Hope you all have a lovely (and safe) rest of the week!  

[fonfereksglen]

On 5/27/2019 at 10:36 AM, Zella said:

I've been estranged from my mother for 20 years (since I was 9), and it doesn't bother me when people post glowing tributes about what a great mom their mom is. I'm happy for them that they have that kind of a relationship with their mom.

What does bother me is when people post these really general claims about how awesome all mothers in general just because they're moms. I know they mean well and a lot of moms are awesome, but it's just simply not true that every mom is wonderful. My mother is a terrible person and a terrible parent to me and all 3 of my older brothers.

 And I'm probably oversensitive to it since it seems like that underlying assumption about all moms being awesome is the reason people feel the need to try to guilt trip me into feeling bad about not having anything to do with her.

I feel the same way about people posting about how awesome their dad is versus how awesome all dads are, though I do have a great relationship with my dad, so it feels less personal to me.

Stay strong!

[Zella]

1 minute ago, fonfereksglen said:

Stay strong!

Thank you! 🙂

[Temperance]

I'm watching a thing youtube called "Why Women Are Quitting Their Side Hustle: LulaRoe".   (Youtube recommended it and they know me well.) One thing that just hit me is that owners of LulaRose promote it as a family business and it's owned by a wife and husband. The ladies say they called the woman who owns the company "Mama D".  It goes to show the weight the words "mom, Mama," etc. have.  And of course this video is telling the story of women who feel betrayed by the company. 

[crazycatlady58]

3 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

My SIL and I refer to my MIL as Emma after the super self-absorbed Jane Austen character. I spent 45 minutes on hold with the DMV doing her business this morning. Called her to update, was rewarded with irrational yelling and name calling. She has already called me a liar because I delivered news that she didn't like. It just gets worse the older she becomes. There is no reasoning with her. She just said very hurtful things to my husband yesterday as he helped her with some tasks. Then she wonders why no one will take her phone calls. She is impossible and forces us to self-medicate (I take a Xanax) before dealing with her. 

Sigh....

To bad you can't slip her one.