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S01.E07: Episode 7


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I thought Lacy's boobs looked real.  

 

I thought Michelle's daughter sounded like my 14 year old, just the stuff she was staying in addition to her voice.  And I was mortified for her when Michelle said on camera that she was "sore and satisfied".  Even if Brielle doesn't get to watch the show, she's forever going to be around people who did and I'm sure she's already heard about the comment and knows what it means.  Gross.  Not that a 9 year old would be scarred by hearing a tidbit about her mother's 'maybe it happened but probably not' sex life but that her mother would stoop so low as to say that on camera, for any price.  

 

 

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Am I alone in finding Marcus really creepy?  He seems like the type to fall stalkerishly in love with every single girl he dates.  He is way too intense way too soon.  That's going to get old.

 

Lacey always looks like she needs about a month of rest and several cheeseburgers.

 

 

YES!  I find Marcus creepy.   He appears to be humorless and odd.  Perhaps his good looks carried him along and he didn't have to develop a personality or any resemblance to a normal man. 

 

Michelle and Cody are very happy.  I have a hunch they are going to make it for the long haul. 

 

Michelle Money

So overwhelmed at the love and support that I have been given! It is hard to put into words how I am feeling. I found the most amazing man I have ever met. And I found him in the most beautiful, unique way. It has been about 10 weeks since we wrapped filming. And I can tell you all right now, every single day has been better and better. Cody is hands down the most amazing man I have ever met. His love for me and Brielle is so genuine and so pure. Everyone deserves a "Cody" in their life! Not MY Cody, but "A" Cody! lol! Thank you for making me the happiest woman on planet earth my sweet man! I love you to the moon and back! And thank you for all the sweet messages and comments! We are so overwhelmed with gratitude! xoxo

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I think production requested Graham and Robert stay or they wouldn't have enough people to have a show.  

 

I also think that to get Michelle (huge fan favorite) they agreed to fly her daughter down for the duration of the show and provide care for her.  

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Eh, I dunno. There's a big difference between the kind of dating conversations you have to have with a child ("Mommy has a new friend, let's have an age-appropriate conversation about what that means for you") and asking your 9-year-old daughter for dating advice. Michelle struck me as ridiculously immature and inappropriate during that phone call.

 

I kinda can't believe I'm defending Michelle to this degree, but the thing with single mothers and daughters is that oftentimes they kind of raise each other. My mom stills says that about us to this day. I don't know Michelle so I don't know what kind of mom she is, but there really is a special friendship-like bond between a single mom and her girl. If things work out with Michelle and Cody, I hope he genuinely is a good guy and will treat Brielle well.

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How weird was it with all the "successful" couples standing there so close, staring intensely at Marcus and Lacy as they professed their 3-week-old love?

 

The jeans thing was the most hilarious thing I'd ever heard. But then I started feeling a little bad for Robert--remember how long it took him to kiss her? Maybe he just moves slow, maybe he's like Sean in his virginal ways. It reminded me of the Sex and the City episode "Are we Sluts?" when Carrie wanted to get it on with Aiden and he was like, pump the brakes, what's the rush? 

 

But then this made me laugh more than it should have probably:

"Let's see Sarah undo a button-fly with one hand", he must have been thinking.

 

 

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe they're happy but Michelle really seemed to be talking herself into CodyCode. My friend made me laugh hysterically when she noted Cody sounds like Chris from Family Guy! 

 

I loved how Chris (PoetryChris of Des and Chris) seemed incredulous whenever people said they had found love in Paradise. He was like "Really???!!" 

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You weren't alone, I was whining like a newborn puppy about the stupid football game, and there was no way I was staying up until 3am to watch this show. Figured I'd just watch it On Demand but they've got BP Part 2 and no BP Part 1.

So is my On Demand screwing with me or was the finale on for 2 hours?

Damn ABCDuh always finds a way to fuck me over television-wise.

 

My On Demand had both parts last night--perhaps if you look again, it will be there now. But, man, I was praying to the Father (Fliess), Son (Harrison), and Holy Spirit (whoever's most Wrong Reasons or craziest Right Reasons on any given episode), that it would be on On Demand!

 

Does Graham have any emotional awareness or capacity to make his own decisions? AshLee: "You're mine forever and ever!" Graham: "Um, okay." Michelle: "You need to break up with AshLee now!" Graham: "Um, okay." Something is definitely "off" with that guy. At first I was thinking that he and Michelle had some sort of a deal to "date" other people on the show and then pick up their relationship afterward, but that's apparently not the case. I thought it was karma that AshLee told Zack to dump Clare, and then the same thing happened to her. However, Michelle told Graham to dump AshLee twice and nothing happened to her, but since she appears to be working for the show (allegedly), I guess she has the blessing of the holy trinity on her side.

 

I think what Sarah said at the very end--that maybe she let one weird night get to her head--was dead on. They both seemed very upset about the relationship ending, but I guess they were only able to express this to the producers and not each other. Maybe Robert, like Nick, considers anything "under the jeans" as being "fiance-type stuff" and just wasn't ready to go there. I thought it was interesting when Harrison said that they only live 10 minutes away from each other, so I wonder if maybe after seeing the show they'd reach out to each other about the misunderstanding and give it a second shot.

 

I think Michelle's relationship advice talk with her daughter was inappropriate. I'm assuming she considers her child a "girlfriend" that it's the two of us against the world, but that's really an unfair burden to put on a child. The fact that she did sound "wise beyond her years" shows that it's not the first time she's spoken to her child about her relationships. Based on that and the way Cody glommed onto her, I think that Michelle and Cody will have a very codependent relationship in which Cody does everything to help/fix/support Michelle. I think it's funny that that was Michelle's EXACT criticism about AshLee--that she was willing to give her all to Graham and make her life about making his better, which she thought was fake--is EXACTLY what Cody is doing with HER! However, I do think that clip at the end with Cody and her daughter on the beach was adorable, so I hope that for the child's sake I'm over-analyzing, and they'll be a happy family. I wonder if Cody is pissed that Marcus got to Neil Lane first? But maybe that's why he's training Farmer Chris to work off a Bachelor debt towards a comped Neil Lane ring.

 

The updates at the end were the funniest clips in Bachelor History! Michelle K and Ryan Putz broke up...but they're still making poor life choices! Bah-ha-ha! Marcus and Lacy have an 80/40 chance of having hot babies! Show, don't ever change! This series did not disappoint. It has now replaced Paradise Hotel as my favorite reality show of all time.

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I kinda can't believe I'm defending Michelle to this degree, but the thing with single mothers and daughters is that oftentimes they kind of raise each other. My mom stills says that about us to this day.

 

 

My gripe with Michelle isn't so much the phone call with her daughter.  

 

I don't like the way she situationally uses the fact that she's a single mother to explain (or put into context) her actions (specifically by suggesting that she has to be concerned about appearances and such) and the next minute gushing about how "sore" and "satisfied" she is after a night with Cody.

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Yeah, I wonder if the producers gave Michelle and Cody a TMI bonus for trying to liven up the show there. I did not need to contemplate what Cody's packing. And Michelle's being "sore" the next morning and Cody crossing something off his bucket list? Way too TMI, people. If that wasn't at the behest of the producers, then I quote the great Rose Nylund - in my experience, the people who talk about having sex the most are the ones having the least.

I was so disappointed that we didn't get an AshLee meltdown when Graham dumped her. When she turned back to him after walking away, I said "Here it is, she's going to eat him!" And she still didn't come through. What a let down.

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Seriously. And how do they tease the handcuffs and blood numerous times and then not even show it?

RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Previews of blood!  all over the floor!   someone is in handcuffs!   Stay tuned to see what happens!  

OK -  I watched.   

All i saw was a bunch of people too old to be in junior high re-enacting junior high drama.  

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Yeah, I wonder if the producers gave Michelle and Cody a TMI bonus for trying to liven up the show there. 

I imagine the bonus is always this, on reality tv-- follow the script and you get invited back for more camera time and paid vacations.  

 

I too saw the teasers with blood and handcuffs and was kind of in the finale for that curiosity, too.  I was done with this franchise before this show and hadn't watched since... Jake?   I'm back to done, for good this time.  

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I think what Sarah said at the very end--that maybe she let one weird night get to her head--was dead on. They both seemed very upset about the relationship ending, but I guess they were only able to express this to the producers and not each other. Maybe Robert, like Nick, considers anything "under the jeans" as being "fiance-type stuff" and just wasn't ready to go there. I thought it was interesting when Harrison said that they only live 10 minutes away from each other, so I wonder if maybe after seeing the show they'd reach out to each other about the misunderstanding and give it a second shot.

 

I don't know. It always seemed to me as if Robert had absolutely no physical interest in Sarah. He never touched her as if he found her sexually attractive. He kissed her in little dry, close-mouthed pecks with no passion at all. When Sarah claimed he had advanced to an extended session of  French kissing her in the Fantasy Suite, my first reaction was to wonder if she knew what that meant. 

 

 

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I don't know. It always seemed to me as if Robert had absolutely no physical interest in Sarah. He never touched her as if he found her sexually attractive. He kissed her in little dry, close-mouthed pecks with no passion at all. When Sarah claimed he had advanced to an extended session of French kissing her in the Fantasy Suite, my first reaction was to wonder if she knew what that meant.

I may have done myself a disservice by reading here first and then watching. I had somewhat set myself up for a cold Robert and wound up thinking I saw a very normal Robert.

Agree about the pecks, but I saw a glimmer of passion in the hot tub.

Sarah has an innocence or naïveté about her. Whether she intends to or not, I see her that way. Which is to be commended on this show (what am I typing; I can't stand her). Sarah is more like an Ashley Hebert than Courtney who fucked Ben in the ocean. They don't convey "easy".

So I think Robert followed that line of thinking and was a gentleman. After the FS date in his camera talk he had a big smile and was like "we had a great time!" He seemed sincere. He also said things like "I thought that's what we had" when Sarah, the now wannabe whore is griping she can't brag about being sore and wanting all night pillow talk and shit.

Dear Sarah, sex does not and will never mean he loves you. It's how he treats you. You were treated with respect and kindness. A part of me is jealous Sarah doesn't appear to know this. Unless a girl marries young or abstains, most of us learn (sometimes many times) that sex too soon with a man can yield a phone not ringing as opposed to the final rose. And to be fair, it can result in a great relationship, but physical interaction, early on, is not how to tell if a guy likes you.

I think Lacy and Marcus are a match made in heaven. They are equally attractive (tho he may have a slight edge), seem simple, and best yet, seem happy and like nice people. They are a tad boring, but they don't seem to be in on that so it shouldn't be an issue.

Speaking of attractive, my god Ashlee has never looked more beautiful. She was breathtaking in every scene last night. I hope she finds happiness, single or in a relationship.

I meant to type one thought and it just kept going. Didn't even get to rightfully bash Sean, damn it.

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I agree about Robert/Sarah.  Robert looked happy to me after the FS (and genuinely upset when Sarah broke things off).  And I saw some passion in those kisses in the hot tub.  Sarah also seemed perfectly happy with how things went until she listened to the other couples talking about their nights.  I think that, had they not sat around the living room talking about it like that with everyone, she would have stuck with Robert to the end and tried to see if the relationship worked for them back home.  I'm kind of hoping that, since they do live so close together, they talk things over after seeing the episode and maybe give it a go again.  

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Yeah, I feel for Robert a bit too.  I can relate to the type that says I'm tired because I want to go to sleep.  And if you're in bed together, it doesn't mean its time to play.  So I feel like Sarah used her one arm and her insecurities to throw him under the bus wearing only his jeans. Though he probably could have communicated more clearly so she wouldn't read the situation the wrong way, though I understand how she interpreted things the way she did.

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So I think Robert followed that line of thinking and was a gentleman.

I don't think it was that he was just being a gentleman for her sake. She tried to make a move by unbuttoning his jeans and he stopped her. I suspect that she felt rebuffed at that moment, then came to feel better about the evening, and then when she got back to the room the next morning and heard the other women talking about all the soreness-inducing physical intimacy, it made her question things between her and Robert again.

 

I got the feeling that he was enjoying hanging around with her and might have wanted to try seeing her back in California. But he certainly didn't try to change her mind when she wanted to break it off. He could have said ANY-thing and she would have given him another chance. I think she was looking for reassurance from him but approached it in an antagonist way because she was feeling insecure. 

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It always seemed to me as if Robert had absolutely no physical interest in Sarah. He never touched her as if he found her sexually attractive. He kissed her in little dry, close-mouthed pecks with no passion at all. When Sarah claimed he had advanced to an extended session of  French kissing her in the Fantasy Suite, my first reaction was to wonder if she knew what that meant. 

Maybe Robert was still bummed that he had started Paradise passionately making out with Lacy (in the ocean...!) before Marcus lured her away with that "sexy chest hair" and all. 

 

I doubt I'd want to give Sarah another go after her saying weird things like I don't know if Robert even has a penis. They seemed like an odd match to me, yet he did proclaim to his buddy Brooks to keep his hands off her. Sometimes the BiP script veered away from continuity and made little sense to me. 

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I feel like Michelle's daughter was repeating what she's heard from her mom, so good for them. It means Michelle has talked to her about what's important in a relationship, and that her daughter listened. I'm not a single mom, but I do have a ten year old daughter, and she listens and later repeats what I've talked to her about when it comes to friendships and how to treat people and what traits a good friend should have.

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They seemed like an odd match to me, yet he did proclaim to his buddy Brooks to keep his hands off her.

 

Yeah, but that might have been because he wanted to be sure he kept his "sure rose". It's hard to say if Robert was just wanting to go slowly with Sarah or if he really hooked up with her to be sure he stayed every week.  He never got that far on the Bachelorette so maybe he just didn't want to leave until the end this time.  It seems like it would be easy enough to contact her if he did still want to date her though.

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And I saw some passion in those kisses in the hot tub.

 

So did I.  Sarah's the one that keeps kissing and pulling away, weirdly.  Robert actually brought his hand up to keep her head there for a longer kiss.  Plus, I saw him slip her some tongue in the ocean.  I think it was right before Brooks appeared.

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I did not recognize Molly at all.  I thought the blond hair looked awful on her, as well as the shade of lipstick.  And what a frumpy outfit!  I know she was criticized when on Jason's season for her hair, among other things.  And I didn't object to her then.

 

Now it's like she's just plain given up caring what she looks like!

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Re: Michelle talking about dick size and "we fucked all night in every corner of the room".....

 

And women say men are shallow. Another thing, reverse this and have one of the guys talking about how tight a girl was or good of a blowjob one of the girls gave, etc. and that he "fucked her in every position all night long" and imagine IF that would air and/or what the fallout would be.....but her being a female I guess the double standard is ok and not to be overly judged???

 

Listen, I'm no prude but she says this with little or no concern on how it makes her look (although I'm sure she'd say anything for more camera time) but the WORST thing is she has no regard as to whether her 9 yr old daughter (not to mention family, friends, etc) MIGHT hear it or have it retold to her (and possibly teased about her mother being a slut) by a classmate, etc. who watched the show.

 

So then she goes from the days/weeks before unsure & questioning whether she and Cody could ever possibly have any future together and then is transformed overnight apparently by Cody's Magic Staff of Enlightenment into saying he is the one, they are now boyfriend/girlfiend and in LURVE!!! .....How sweet.....I'm not buying it though....I think someone upthread nailed it, these two entered into some sort of silent agreement to make to the end and maximize their camera time and publicity (btw....do they get more $$$ by making it to the end/FR ?? )

 

I also got a bi/gay vibe from this Cody dude.....in any case, him & Michelle in no way seem to be a match.

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And women say men are shallow. Another thing, reverse this and have one of the guys talking about how tight a girl was or good of a blowjob one of the girls gave, etc. and that he "fucked her in every position all night long" and imagine IF that would air and/or what the fallout would be.....but her being a female I guess the double standard is ok and not to be overly judged???

 

 

You mean kind of like the reaction to Nick's simply stating that he and Andi made love in the fantasy suite and how that was deemed the most heinous, unclassy, ungentlemanly thing in the world?

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I'm still trying to figure out the concept behind this show.  Is what we saw really what this show was meant to be?  Or did something go terribly wrong?

 

It's as though someone looked at the way these "members of The Bachelor family" hook up at their various get-togethers, and decided "That's something people want to see!"

 

Was this supposed to be some sort of re-affirmation of "the journey" resulting in "true love"?

 

In retrospect, it just seems like it was nothing more than a human petri dish filled with viagra, valtrex and Axe body spray.

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I'm still trying to figure out the concept behind this show.  Is what we saw really what this show was meant to be?  Or did something go terribly wrong?

It's as though someone looked at the way these "members of The Bachelor family" hook up at their various get-togethers, and decided "That's something people want to see!"

Was this supposed to be some sort of re-affirmation of "the journey" resulting in "true love"?

In retrospect, it just seems like it was nothing more than a human petri dish filled with viagra, valtrex and Axe body spray.

 

The producers got exactly what they wanted with the last Bachelor Pad i.e. an explosive (TM Chris Harrison) ending with a twist that the producers didn't have to engineer and plenty of intrigue on all sides.  Ratings notwithstanding, it's still a mystery as to why they killed it off.

 

Love them or loathe them, Bachelor Pad showed the contestants for what they really were i.e. conceited, drunk, horny and devious. The humor surrounding 'the right reasons' on the Bachelor endures because nobody with an IQ north of 70 believes the Pollyanna nonsense, especially when fame, fortune and flesh are there for the taking.

 

But someone decided the audience wanted more syrupy romance so we got Fleiss, Harrison et al taking every ingredient in the fridge and throwing it in a mixing bowl...Big Brother, Temptation Island, The Bachelor, etc.  The rules were unclear because there didn't seem to be any rules.  No enforced separation of anyone, really, hence a lack of tension.  As many have said, once the core group formed the interlopers stood little chance.

 

No doubt the next series will still focus on the pair-them-up angle but some form of competition or other tension-builder is an absolute must to a) stave off the obvious ennui many suffered and b) add some spice, uncertainty, anger, etc. to the proceedings, especially where the males are concerned.

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You mean kind of like the reaction to Nick's simply stating that he and Andi made love in the fantasy suite and how that was deemed the most heinous, unclassy, ungentlemanly thing in the world?

RIGHT!   What Nick did came from a place of genuine confusion - he wanted to ask her in private, was not given the chance, so he asked on the show - did making love mean something or not?   did you mean the things you said or were you fooling me?  He wasn't bragging "I got laid and it was good!" 

 

Michelle's declaration was all kinds of gross and inappropriate.  There's nothing wrong with just saying "we had a nice night together and now we're even closer."  

Bragging about it just makes both of them seem  cheap and trashy. 

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Yeah, Michelle really seems to be all about the sex, or at least that's how she presented herself. One minute she can barely stomach Cody yet goes into the fantasy suite all "Time for some real life! Let's see if his pecker is as small as I suspect". Then they have sex and she's head over heels in love. Um... he's still the same guy, Michelle. You just bumped uglies. Didn't she have an affair with some athlete too? What a role model.

 

I bet Andi wishes she'd taken Cody to the F3 now though.

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My impression of Sarah is that she has some deep-rooted self esteem issues, and would have fallen for any of the guys who made her feel good about herself. She seemed totally fine with her overnight date, until seeing her friends with their post-coital glow! 

 

I agree that Michelle Money's daughter sounded awfully mature for a nine-year old. But, based on the maturity level we've seen of her mother, it would not surprise me if she was often the adult in their relationship. I can see Michelle waking up her daughter for comfort after a bad date, and little Brielle having to remind her mommy to pay the electric bill on time! 

 

Lacy's make-up and attire are awful. She seriously looks like she is dressed up for an eighties themed party and went overboard! 

 

And, I will watch and Bachelor franchise show that features Kalon!!

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Re: Michelle talking about dick size and "we fucked all night in every corner of the room".....

 

And women say men are shallow. Another thing, reverse this and have one of the guys talking about how tight a girl was or good of a blowjob one of the girls gave, etc. and that he "fucked her in every position all night long" and imagine IF that would air and/or what the fallout would be.....but her being a female I guess the double standard is ok and not to be overly judged???

 

Difference is, wars aren't started over how tight a girl was whereas men are always slapping their dicks on the table to see whose is biggest.

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Re Brielle being "coached" on her advice: I'd say no, based on this part of their conversation.

 

B: You don't have to decide today.

M: Actually, I do.

B: [sounding genuinely surprised] You do?

 

The producers would have explained the situation to her.  It highlights the absurdity of it all when someone in the real world is taken aback by the compressed timeframe.

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It highlights the absurdity of it all when someone in the real world is taken aback by the compressed timeframe.

 

And not only is the timeframe ridiculous, but the attitude from this show that these people have to decide to be together forever IMMEDIATELY! And on a schedule! Like, why wouldn't it have been fine if Michelle and Cody decided to give it a try and see how it went, without making serious proclamations about whether they could see themselves married or whatever. But I guess relationships going at a somewhat normal pace just don't fit into the filming schedule. As much of a douche as I thought Juan Pablo was (although, let's be honest, I actually loved Juan Pablo because he was such a douche...), I appreciated at his reunion where he wouldn't be Chris Harrison's "love" puppet, and instead was just like "we're getting to know each other more." 

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And not only is the timeframe ridiculous, but the attitude from this show that these people have to decide to be together forever IMMEDIATELY! And on a schedule!  

 

That really was the oddest part of the finale: Either break up today (before the FS) or break up tomorrow (after the FS) or proclaim your intentions for the long haul! Also, I thought that the couples would, you know, TALK TO EACH OTHER about their intentions beyond the show. But, instead, it was the guys powwow together and the girls dissect every detail for the others to help them make their decisions--and just hope that you don't get summoned to the beach. But if you DID get summoned to the beach, it still wasn't a conversation. It was a declaration that I'm breaking up with you--with no reasons given--and we cannot discuss why because, as per Chris Harrison, once the decision is made, you must leave Paradise IMMEDIATELY! Without that stipulation, maybe some of these couples would have kept in touch after the show and see if anything developed, but if you cannot see yourself marrying this person NOW, you may NEVER speak to him/her again! [gavel bang]

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Kind of puts the whole Clare situation into perspective, doesn't it? Everyone, including Chris Harrison, made fun of her for being too serious about the relationship and expecting Zach to "commit" (Or as I saw it: expecting him to promise not to jump the next woman who walked through the door, which was just too hard for him to do).

 

Yet two weeks later (or rather five days later in this ridiculous alternate universe?), here comes Harrisson and proclaimes that "Now you have to have a serious talk about your relationship, now you are expeced to make an immediate decision about whether or not to stay together. Cause, you know, so much changes in two weeks.

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I had to watch this on Demand too.  God help me, I watched part 1 twice.  OK, there were 6 couples and then all of a sudden there were 3.  We saw the Ashlee/Graham break up but not anything about the other 2.  Did they just up and leave and no one seemed to notice?  I found it quite odd.

 

mortified for her when Michelle said on camera that she was "sore and satisfied".

I said to myself, "She had to go there and make herself a skank".  Her family must be soooo proud.

 

Sarah, oh poor Sarah, was really stupid I think.  She should have let him talk.

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We saw the Ashlee/Graham break up but not anything about the other 2.  Did they just up and leave and no one seemed to notice?

The Jackie/Zack and Christy/Tasos breakups got about 20s of screen time each.

 

It really was kind of like:

 

  want to stay or go? 

I don't know, what do you want? 

I don't know, Whatever.

Let's go then. 

OK. 

seeya. 

 

And the TV audience says "Who were those people, anyway?" 

  • Love 4
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