S01.E06: Episode 6

[OhIKnow]

The fact that Graham has no problem pointing out AshLee's crazy makes me like him. His "AshLee's gonna cut someone..." after he didn't get the date card made me almost fall off the couch in hysterics! 

 

 

The editors were killing it tonight when Lacy finally told Marcus that she loved him & the entire jungle rejoiced. Then when Christy said something about God willing or in His hands the church music started & the majestic scenery was highlighted. They're having fun. The camera or sound guy, whoever tried to help Lacy with stalagmites & stalactites was obviously close to laughing.

And this was the other part that had me giggling. I LOVE that the story producers and editors are having so much fun with the post side of production. Because I'm sure being in the field with this crew couldn't have been all that thrilling. 

[NikSac]

I'm just catching up and about halfway through the episode. Did they just make the sea turtle say "Tasos"?  I almost choked laughing.

[Zahdii]

Yes.  Yes, I did. And once I saw it, I heard zero of what anyone said until he was finally, mercifully gone.  Every time he went to hug someone I worried the spider might get on their arm, or hand.  When he was walking through the 'jungle" toward the car, I saw that it was still clinging down toward the bottom of the jacket.  When he climbed into the limo, it wasn't visible anymore, so I assumed it must have crawled under and was now inside the jacket.  Then I wondered if he sat on it.  Then as he was sitting in the limo saying words that only sounded to me like "blah blah...spiders spiders omg spiders blah...blah spiders everywhere...blah" I was curled up in the fetal position watching intensely for it to climb up onto his neck or face.  At one point a shadow near his shirt collar made me actually scream out loud, because it was just too many minutes of going into spasms of pure revulsion for me to endure silently any longer.  Jesus, what a relief when he finally, FINALLY!!! left for good.

 

Thank God I heard about the spider before I saw it, because that actually happened to my daughter right in front of me.  She was sitting on the floor and I was at my computer when I looked over at her to speak to her.  A big black spider crawled right out of her shirt, up her chest and neck and into her hair.  I was staring in horror, unable to speak but pointing and the awful interloper while my daughter stared calmly back at me.  Since she didn't feel the spider she assumed that I was trying to trick her, or having a stroke.  I finally got her to find the spider and give it a swim in the toilet.

 

So knowing that a spider was going to be crawling all over douchy guy tonight, I turned away and only listened to that scene.  Didn't want to reignite the trauma I went through before.

 

Jesse's problem was that he was acting too much like BiP was the frat house, with women imported for his pleasure. Sounds like he was giving the run down on every chic like he was shopping around a used car lot. Which production probably won't show, as it shatters their 'tru wuuuuvvvv and redemption' angle. I'm not mad at MM's intervention because it legit looked like Jackie and Christy's crotches were overriding their common sense.  Jessie's a stand up guy? If they meant stand up as in 'won't take a naked photo of you when you're passed out on his bed' then maybe. Maybe. 

 

No, Jesse would definitly take a photo.  Someone like him would revel in having visual evidence.  I wouldn't put it past him to secretly videotape sexcapades and show them to his 'friends'.  He probably wouldn't bother to keep back the one he made of him and his best friends' sister.

[NikSac]

Lacy's boobs are that big because her brain sure isn't. Her and Marcus are the equivalent of Ambien.

 

Cody is INTENSE. A sweet guy but damn he is going at 500 mhp. I think he would've been perfect with Elise.

 

Hi Brooks. Bye Brooks. I still think he's gay but he seems like a nice, sweet guy.

 

haha man.. wish that Ambien effect would kick in right now because I should've been asleep an hour ago, but I like the thought.

 

Cody scares me. I used to think maybe he just jumped into relationships a little fast, but wow.

 

I never did quite get the appeal of Brooks either although I thought he and Des were cute together.  Maybe Brooks and Marquel could be good...?

And this was the other part that had me giggling. I LOVE that the story producers and editors are having so much fun with the post side of production. Because I'm sure being in the field with this crew couldn't have been all that thrilling. 

 

Ah ha that's what it is I find fun about this show and just realized it. The music and cut-scenes with the wildlife are just hilarious to me. I feel bad for the people who do seem to take it seriously, but it seems like even the producers are mostly making it a bad soap opera/sit-com. Maybe I'm evil but I think this would be a really fun show to edit.

[Irritable]

I found it very telling and a bit sad when Cody basically told Michelle he has no idea what he's doing when it comes to maintaining a proper pace in a relationship, because he's totally new at it.  I appreciated his honesty, because many men wouldn't admit to that so outright, especially not on television.  That he said he is fine with her going at her own pace, and understanding that they don't necessarily have to be on the same page at the same time was very sweet.  I think she was prepared to dump him during that conversation, but his being so genuine and open convinced her to stick it out for a while.  She wants a loyal man who thinks the world of her and is ready to embrace everything about her, including her child.  Cody would very likely fill that role nicely.  The problem is, the heart wants what it wants, and even if a man possesses every single quality you want to find in a life partner, if you don't feel that chemistry, that intangible thing that makes someone irresistible, you can't manufacture it just to make them perfect for you.  For whatever reason, Cody may as well have "Friend Zone" tattooed across his forehead, and no amount of body building is going to change that.  I do hope that he finds happiness, whether it's with Michelle or someone else, because he definitely seems like a good soul. 

[NikSac]

I found it very telling and a bit sad when Cody basically told Michelle he has no idea what he's doing when it comes to maintaining a proper pace in a relationship, because he's totally new at it.  I appreciated his honesty, because many men wouldn't admit to that so outright, especially not on television.  That he said he is fine with her going at her own pace, and understanding that they don't necessarily have to be on the same page at the same time was very sweet.  I think she was prepared to dump him during that conversation, but his being so genuine and open convinced her to stick it out for a while.  She wants a loyal man who thinks the world of her and is ready to embrace everything about her, including her child.  Cody would very likely fill that role nicely.  The problem is, the heart wants what it wants, and even if a man possesses every single quality you want to find in a life partner, if you don't feel that chemistry, that intangible thing that makes someone irresistible, you can't manufacture it just to make them perfect for you.  For whatever reason, Cody may as well have "Friend Zone" tattooed across his forehead, and no amount of body building is going to change that.  I do hope that he finds happiness, whether it's with Michelle or someone else, because he definitely seems like a good soul. 

 

That's true. I did think it was sweet that he said that and pretty much admitted to jumping in too far too fast. I also don't really find Cody physically attractive - he kind of grosses me out - so it's definitely such an individual thing. I agree, I do hope he finds happiness. I wish he and Clare could've gone out - I think there might have been something there.

[alexa]

I just have a hard time believing that Cody is in love with anyone he says he is because he did the same thing with Andi.  He sees a woman that could "potentially" like him, and he just goes on and on about how much he likes them without even knowing anything about them.  I just don't buy that he "really" fell for both Andi and Michelle--he just thinks he did because he wants to have someone.  I think almost any girl could walk in, and he would say the same things.

 

I do find all of the coupling boring, and I don't get why they send in new bach/ettes if there is hardly anyone for them to date.  They need to somehow liven things up a bit if they do this show again.  Brooks should have ended up with someone, I feel, but there was noone left but Jackie who has dated the most of anyone. 

 

Graham and Ashlee are no way that into each other...he does not seem remotely "in like" with her.  He is just trying to not piss her off.  

[betha]

AshLee....height of nastiness and narcissism when she told another of the girls there that Graham should get the date card "because he's really the best catch here." Forget who she told that to, but obviously someone dating someone other than graham.

Did they mess with the timing with the whole Lucy/Jesse/christy story? Why were they talking at times like Lucy was still there? Are the kicked off kids sneaking back over from the time-out resort?

Whenever anyone says Lucy and Jesse I can't help but think of the Sondheim song from Follies. " Lucy wants to be dressy. Jessie wants to be juicy. Lucy wants to be Jessie, and Jessie, Lucy."

I want to go to the showtunes and nailpolish sleepover with Brooks!

Edited September 2, 2014 by betha

[LakeGal]

Graham is so not into AshLee.  But she has claimed him and he has given up and accepted it as his fate while he is there.  AshLee  wants the date card so Graham is forced to spend time alone with her.  It seems like he surrounds himself with others to avoid being alone with her.  I also believe the reason she (& others) want the date card is so they get camera time.  Lacey & Marcus seem to spend a lot of time alone/dating even without date cards.  But if the media whores on this show want camera time they have to go on a date.   

[MsPH]

This episode had so many great sound bites, I can't even remember half of them. Tryanosaurus Rex? "I would single-handedly kill him with my own two hands". I love this show sometimes.

 

I really liked Brooks during Des's season, but I'd already forgotten why. Thanks for reminding me, BiP! He's just so entertaining simply being himself. I giggled when he was talking about Jackie's face being distractingly cute, because she does look like a Disney princess. And I love that he does and says the gayest things without caring about what others will think. I so would've picked him over Zack! Silly Jackie.

 

What the hell was up with Sarah? Was she seriously considering dumping Robert without having any idea if Brooks even liked her? No wonder she's still single. Though Robert came across a bit douchey with his territorial nonsense.

 

The whole ganging up on Jesse was so embarrassing. Christy wasn't making any sense and then Michelle was telling Jesse how Christy is deeply hurt and beside herself. I felt so bad for her! And not because of Jesse, but because Michelle was making her seem like a total fool. The last thing I would want after getting played is to show the guy I've been affected by him. Players like him don't have empathy, so they'll only take it as a compliment. Ugh. Let the girl keep some dignity! He's delusional though.

 

Cody is one-dimensional for sure. I don't think he even knows what love is, he just wants a girlfriend really bad. I can barely look at him, the puffy muscles are just too gross.

[gaPeach]

All I could think during Marcus and Lindy's date was that there must have been bat guano everywhere. Hurrrgh.

 

That is all I could think about too.  Especially when then did the shot from the water up to the water line and there was all kinds of junk floating on the top.  Bat Shit is very toxic and I just can't imagine swimming through it.  I would have stopped right there and gone back.

 

And you meant Lacy right?

[seacliffsal]

I actually really liked Brooks this episode and could see why women are attracted to him.  He actually has a personality, has interests and has a sense of humor.  I was hoping Jackie would pick him over Zack.

 

As for Sarah?  I am so over her.  This whole season she has been a sad Sally with all of her 'I just want someone...' then she gets Robert and is ready to drop him in a hot minute once Brooks arrived.  If she thought she could create a relationship with Brooks, she really is more full of herself than she lets on.  It also shows that she doesn't have a relationship with Robert as she was intent on dumping him.  Interesting that once he made romantic moves, she decided to stay-or maybe she found out Brooks wasn't interested in her.  So, she really is the same as many others who would drop someone they are 'pretending' to like in order to be with someone else.

 

I was surprised that we didn't see more of Ashlee this episode.  Maybe she'll have an epic meltdown on the next episode?  Also, Graham spends his time with everyone except her.  I don't see why they all want to stay unless they get more money the longer they stay on the show.  And, an adult should not feel like they have to stay in a relationship with someone due to that person's crazy.  Get out of there-NOW.  He could just leave the show like Jesse and someone else did.  But, for some reason Graham wants to stay around.  Hopefully next episode Graham will tell Ashlee that he doesn't want a relationship after the show ends and then it will be...EPIC!

 

I so switched channels during the Marcus and Lacy date.  I'm surprised that the producers would show so much of it as it was so boring.  The best part of the date was the animal montage once Lacy said she was falling in love.

 

And, I kind of like Cody and Michelle together.

[Rainsong]

Trying very hard to keep an interest in this show but it is like several films I've read about i.e. the producers and director have no script and no idea how it will end despite showing up on set each day and shooting anyway.

 

Eight of the twelve remaining are original castees with only Cody, Christy and Tasos surviving as latecomers. It states the obvious to say that this is a typical group dynamic (school, work, social) whether the groups are coed or single-sex but it does suggest a flaw in the producers' setup.  A more compelling scenario may have been to establish two separate camps with neither aware of the other for a week or two (without eliminations) and then bring them together with attractions and resentments on a grand scale rather than one or two couples at most forming or breaking up each week.

 

The editors have done their level best to mislead and hype in the teasers (how does Harrison do his voiceovers with tongue planted firmly in cheek?) but even they appear to have run out of red herrings for the finale teaser. Yes, we have tears, gloomy expressions and locked-door tantrums (always the girls, never the guys, mind you) and the implication of some relationship-shattering twist in the form of a challenge or an individual (possibly both).  Yes we are jaded by now but the implied drama doesn't seem all that dramatic.

 

One question hung over this enterprise from the beginning: what will they do when the numbers dwindle, the couples have formed and the 'surprise' guests eventually turned away?  If all the couples are solid, how do any of them 'win' beyond a possible paid-for wedding?  Will they be forced into a put-up-or-shut-up marriage proposal? Would such a proposal last very long even for the love-declared couples once they returned from Paradise (ahem)?

 

Why did the girls feel a need to give the guys a speech, pep talk, etc. when offering a rose?  The guys are competitive as all get out and not a single one needed any convincing to stay.  I can't dislike Lacy but she emptied a full bushel of cliches about journeys etc. and, sadly, probably thought she was being eloquent.

 

The Michelle-Cody pairing won't last past the luggage carousel at LAX.  Only he will be surprised at this outcome, as she views the whole thing as a game, which of course it is.

 

Sarah nearly self-destructed with her Brooks infatuation. There seemed to be a very strong dose of scripted drama, however.

 

Brooks and Jackie's date was interesting as the keen-eyed viewer could spot they weren't quite taking the whole thing as seriously as the producers might like but after cycling through the Bachelor Machine a few times who wouldn't be cynical?

 

AshLee is the designated villainess, apparently, but even her sympathizers (like me) must admit that she and Graham have cooled off considerably - unless, of course, you take into account that she and Graham barely got a look-in during yet another episode so who knows where they are, really?

 

Obviously, the ladies and the producers made a meal of the Jesse trainwreck but it was an excellent example of a glaring double standard. If three guys stood outside a departing limo and read the riot act to a female there would be hell to pay with the usual accusations of bullying, intimidation etc.  As usual, Michelle couldn't resist sticking her ski-jump nose in and taking a lead role in something that didn't directly involve her.  The so-called injured party couldn't muster the courage nor the words to describe the so-called slight she suffered.  She was, as they say in the chat show world, 'talked up' by Michelle into believing that Jesse had committed an unforgivable sin.  The less said about the painfully inarticulate Lacy's role the better, except to say that the terms 'disrespectful' and 'offensive' have been worn meaningless through overuse and misapplication.

 

Jesse may have sounded desperate and a bit pathetic as he predicted dozens of contacts from admirers but it was merely a defense mechanism. The insane part is he might just be right.

[KnoxForPres]

So I need to make sure because no one ever clarified....was that guys name Tasos?

On Bropks date I think he said something like "I'm going to keep my hands here so you're comfortable" or some equally awkward sentence. The "here" in that was stuffed in his front pockets. What a weird thing to say. Between that and his lame ass comedian routine on the couch with Sarah, he got on my nerves. And how laughable that Sarah considered breaking up with that guy, haha!

And yes, I do think they had the turtle whisper Tasos before his arrival. Which was amazing.

Last thought. I hate being asked in real life and think the question "Why are you single" should be banned. Yes, Tasos who tosses the Sose, don't ask a girl again.

[KerleyQ]

I thought it was absurd for Robert to tell Brooks he couldn't ask Sarah out. Better he just wait and let Sarah decide for herself.

But - if Brooks and Sarah had met before and liked each other, why do they need to g o on this show to date?

 

Because then she wouldn't be on TV.  That's the main goal here for at least 90 percent of them. 

 

 

Graham is so not into AshLee.  But she has claimed him and he has given up and accepted it as his fate while he is there.  AshLee  wants the date card so Graham is forced to spend time alone with her.  It seems like he surrounds himself with others to avoid being alone with her.  I also believe the reason she (& others) want the date card is so they get camera time.  Lacey & Marcus seem to spend a lot of time alone/dating even without date cards.  But if the media whores on this show want camera time they have to go on a date.   

 

I think Graham's taken a look around and realized he's not interested in anyone else there, so he's riding this out to hang out with some friends.  He doesn't want to be the epicenter of drama, so he's not going to reject AshLee in any way (either by giving someone else a rose or turning a rose down from her).  I do appreciate, at least, that he seems intent on not sleeping with her.  

 

Sarah pissed me off last night.  For whatever reason, I've thought she and Robert were kind of cute.  But that whole "I'm going to dump him" thing really soured me on her.  

[backformore]

Sarah needs some therapy. Not long ago she was feeling sorry for herself because nobody wanted her. A short time later she's ready to dump a guy who she said she had feelings for because a new guy walks in .

[Dirtybubble]

I actually really liked Brooks this episode and could see why women are attracted to him.  He actually has a personality, has interests and has a sense of humor.  I was hoping Jackie would pick him over Zack.

I had forgotten how attractive Brooks is as well.  Yeah fun guy and I wish he had come into this show earlier.  It really isn't fair to him or anyone who came into this show so late.  Everyone is already paired up so your choices are even smaller for a potential date.  You really only have what one maybe two choices and that's it.

 

As far as Sarah & Robert go, yeah it was wrong of Sarah to want to dump Robert so quickly after all that boo-hoo'ing about not finding anybody here BUT Robert was kinda douche-y with that if you choose Sarah I'll kill you comment to Brooks.  Jesus dude why don't you just piss all over her and claim her yours that way. 

[KerleyQ]

I had forgotten how attractive Brooks is as well.  Yeah fun guy and I wish he had come into this show earlier.  It really isn't fair to him or anyone who came into this show so late.  Everyone is already paired up so your choices are even smaller for a potential date.  You really only have what one maybe two choices and that's it.

 

 

I think it might have helped mix things up a bit more if, in addition to the roses handed out during the night, the members of the opposite sex collectively voted on one person to stay around (so only one person goes home). That way there would always be someone who wasn't already surgically attached to someone else. 

[thejuicer]

Michelle/Cody - I find Cody hard to look at, but there is potential. Tone down the weights, darken the hair a bit, lay off the tanning and he will look so much better.  But I don't see any chemistry between them.

 

Lacy/Marcus - Lacy is an interesting shade of fluorescent brown. That's all I have to say about them.

 

AshLee/Graham - Cannot wait until the inevitable meltdown.

 

Christy/Tasos/Jesse - Tasos is much cuter here than on his season. On Andi's season he was pinging major gaydar too but not so much now. Christy looks so much fresher with her hair tied up.  I understand the outrage with Jesse's crass behaviour, but why did they follow him when he decided to leave?  Why not speak up as soon as he said something inappropriate? If I were Jesse I would have been confused with Christy's confrontation - she didn't seem that pissed, she didn't seem sad, it really seemed like she was just going along with Queen Michelle's prodding. But I'm glad Jesse's gone. He reminds me of many a losers that I've dated and couldn't get away from fast enough.

 

Jackie/Brooks/Zak - I can't believe Brooks was so into Jackie but while on Des's season (who I think is far more beautiful and classy than Jackie) showed zero interest in Des and couldn't get out of there fast enough. I guess it's true men love a chase. I thought Brooks was so cute and real, it seemed like a real first date. Zak is a walking snoozefest, so of course he gets the rose.

 

Sarah/Robert - I cannot stand Sarah for all her whininess, faux insecurities, then all of a sudden it's "I'm gonna break up with Robert" - um why? Because Brooks exists and walked in?  These people make seventh graders look mature.  It's very clear to me that it's not her physical disability that gets in the way of finding or maintaining relationships.

[Primetimer]

This week on Bachelor In Paradise, bats swarm people's heads but no one gets rabies. Should you watch anyway?

Read the story

[Stella MD]

 

So I need to make sure because no one ever clarified....was that guys name Tasos?

Well, that or "Taco", depending on which What's-His-Nuts was talking...

[Jodio]

AshLee, if you're wondering why Graham didn't get a date card, it's because the production staff obviously hates you and doesn't want to give you any airtime, other than footage of you acting like a fucking bitch. It's no wonder that all the other women hate you after your nasty passive aggressive behavior on tonight's episode. When you said "Graham is obviously the best catch here," you should have been thankful that I wasn't there to shred you to pieces. What kind of bitch thing is that to say to the women dating the other men there? I cannot wait until Graham dumps you; it's inevitable. /rant

 

I'm a woman, so I'm immune to her charms, but can somebody please explain to me why Jackie keeps getting asked out on dates? She is painfully boring. Are all these men all just seeking the answer to the age-old question: does the carpet match the drapes?

 

As soon as I saw Brooks sashay down the beach, I immediately thought about Des and pictured her furtively watching the episode on her iPad in a closet, alternating between frantic masturbation and desperate weeping. While Chris writes rhyming poetry in the next room.

 

I don't know about Marcus and Lacy's date in the cenote. I wouldn't call wading through batshit infested waters romantic at all. I was hoping that all their vaccinations were up to date. And then I kind of hoped they weren't. Hehehehe.

[JudyObscure]

I agree Christy let Michelle talk her into making a fool of herself. The best thing to do if you find out a loser you dated is trash talking you is to hold one of those memory-eraser fountain pens in front of your face and blank him out. Then if someone says, "Jessie is talking about you," say "Jeffie? JessIe? Who?" and change the subject.

Jesse's invitations are probably all to the sort of event where you come home with steak knives and a time-share by a lake in Chicago. I guess Marcus is there to prove the other extreme. A few months ago Andi was his ideal woman, a brunette, non-traditional woman who loved shooting and sports and had a law degree. Now his perfect woman seems like she probably had to have boyfriend help to get her GED and is terrified of ladders and bats.

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. Still in high-school determined to take the captain of the football team away from the head cheerleader just to prove she can. Run away Robert, she only dumped Dylan for you because all the women wanted you that day.

Lacy is an interesting shade of fluorescent brown.

Odd isn't it? I think maybe Lacy is what happens when a sallow, olive skinned, dark brunette decides to become a blonde.

[alexa]

I'm a woman, so I'm immune to her charms, but can somebody please explain to me why Jackie keeps getting asked out on dates? She is painfully boring. Are all these men all just seeking the answer to the age-old question: does the carpet match the drapes?

 

This is easy...because this show isn't designed smartly thus everyone is coupled up and she has been the only one that isn't in a solid couple (other than Christy).  Who else is there for new people coming on to pick?  I think she has actually had the best experience of everyone because she has actually had the chance to date rather then pretend she is in a couple.

 

I have to agree with everyone about the swimming in the cave.  I was a bit grossed out, because even lovely places like Hawaii posts warnings of the possible bacteria exposures in some waters.

[woodscommaelle]

With her hair tied back, I thought Christy looked a little like Julie Bowen (Claire on Modern Family).

[TheFinalRose]

Brooks is so gay.  Over on TwoP that seemed to be a constant topic during Des' season but I never really saw it. BUT, last night...woo....he giggles nonstop, doesn't even try and kiss Jackie on the date, giggles some more on the couch with Sarah, and then brings some nail polish so he and Jackie can have some girly time.  Even if he is a struggling post-Mormon from a broken home who might have some issues to work out but is really as straight and hetero as they come he sure acted gay last night.

 

I also don't really find Cody physically attractive - he kind of grosses me out

 

 

Me too, but he seems like a really nice guy.  That montage where all the guys were joking that Cody was going to eat Tasos if he asked out Michelle was funny.

 

There is not enough ABC screentime in the world that would make me swim in a cave with bats. I would have turned around and headed back up that little ladder so fast. Don't you have to get a rabies shot pretty darn quick if you get bit?  No way.

 

Jesse's invitations are probably all to the sort of event where you come home with steak knives and a time-share by a lake in Chicago.

 

 

There is no such thing as a time-share by a lake in Chicago because the lakefront property in Chicago is pretty much all owned by the park district. You can buy or rent an apartment in a high rise with a lake view, but I'm guessing Jesse will never have the amount of cash that costs.  However, a quick internet search shows that if Jesse were to come to Chicago there are plenty of upcoming street fests to be invited to, such as the Ukranian Village Fest, Sept 6-9, or the Sam Adams Lakeview Taco Fest, Sept 20-21, which he can ask Tasos to join him for.

 

[Zahdii]

What I wouldn't give to have someone standing there with quivering lips saying "I'm sorry, I really liked our time together, but the damned producers insisted I give my rose to ******!"

 

Then just throw the rose at the producers pick and walk off.  They'd propably be punished by being driven off by a guy driving a goat cart, but it would be epic TV.

[NoWhammies]

I'm really enjoying the editing on this show. A few favorite moments from last night's episode:

 

Sarah(playing corn hole with Robert): "I have the worst arm in the world."

 

Christy: "I'm leaving it in God's hands." followed by birds soaring, the sun breaking through the clouds, and a turtle whispering, "Taaaaassssssoooooossssss!"

 

That's why I've been watching this show. To hell with the romance. I guess that makes me a wrong reasons watcher.

 

Also, did Marcus and Lacy go to the same cave that Zack and Jackie went to, only it was day in one and night at the other?

 

Do you suppose Christy's sunburn has healed yet? That is a seriously painful looking burn.

Edited September 2, 2014 by NoWhammies

[ramble]

I am a bat lover & am going to defend them for a moment. Your chance of getting rabies from a bat is almost nonexistent unless you handle a sick bat & statistically speaking bats rarely have rabies, less than 1/2 of 1% of the species that can carry it are infected. Bats, however are amazing natural pest control & pollinators. Sadly, they are at risk, especially from a disease that is spreading rapidly called white nose syndrome. I'll step off my soap box now. Sorry to go off topic but I'm a proud, card carrying member of Bat Conservational International. Here are some facts on bats & rabies: Link One Link Two and info on the benefits of bats also info on white nose syndrome. Yes I'm a bit of a dork about the little buggers.

On topic, this:

As soon as I saw Brooks sashay down the beach, I immediately thought about Des and pictured her furtively watching the episode on her iPad in a closet, alternating between frantic masturbation and desperate weeping. While Chris writes rhyming poetry in the next room.

made me laugh out loud. I also wondered if Des was watching. You know just because it's the Bachelor Nation family & everything, oh & look there's Brooks. And suddenly she finds herself drawing Des & Brooks in a heart in lip gloss on her leg. I still don't find Brooks attractive & think that his nail painting attempt to woo Jacque was awkward to watch.

I finally thought Christy was attractive this episode. I haven't seen it before on BIP & don't really remember her from her Bach appearance. I think it's because she was mostly sober this episode. I think drunk Christy somehow looks not nearly as pretty as sober Christy. I did think it was funny when someone (Michelle maybe?) said she'd didn't know what the relationship was with Jesse & Christy other than drinking.

I missed Dr. Raccoon this episode but noticed the lizard life coaches were on call & they've brought in Wise Turtle, the patriarch of paradise, to advise as well.

[KR Vermont]

The whole ganging up on Jesse was so embarrassing. Christy wasn't making any sense and then Michelle was telling Jesse how Christy is deeply hurt and beside herself. I felt so bad for her! And not because of Jesse, but because Michelle was making her seem like a total fool. The last thing I would want after getting played is to show the guy I've been affected by him. Players like him don't have empathy, so they'll only take it as a compliment. Ugh. Let the girl keep some dignity! He's delusional though.

I agree. And yammering on isn't likely going to enlighten a guy--he doesn't want to sit through an interrogation of how bad a jerk he is, he just wants to nip this drama in the bud and get away. Better to be less emotional and more concise in such a "confrontation". Same with Clare waking up Zack to give him an earful (though he typically has that vacant, dazed or angsty look no matter the time of day).

 

Would Brooks have challenged Sarah to that game of foosball had she been on the date instead of Jackie? Hollow victory if you beat a one-handed woman at foosball. This after Sarah said something like "I have one bad arm" earlier in the episode when a bunch of them were playing something else at the huts.

[Irritable]

I love bats, too. They are amazing creatures, and I enjoy watching them fly around at night over our yard taking care of the mosquitoes for us.  But there is no way I would swim through waters full of their droppings and then go eat a meal on the other side.  It seemed that the requirement to wear the life vests was to keep their heads and mouths out of the water, because on other dates in caves, the people were allowed to swim without life vests.  This must have been particularly nasty water.  **shudder** Between this, the fucking spider, and then whatever the hell that bug was that crawled into Brooks' shirt at the end, this episode freaked me out super hard.

[Dirtybubble]

I missed Dr. Raccoon this episode but noticed the lizard life coaches were on call & they've brought in Wise Turtle, the patriarch of paradise, to advise as well.

This show seems to have become a parody of The Bachelor.  I thought I was losing my mind at first when a sea turtle whispers Tasos' name, its kinda goofy but a nice way to kill 2 hours.  I wonder if this show will come back next summer.

[Palomar]

I think it might have helped mix things up a bit more if, in addition to the roses handed out during the night, the members of the opposite sex collectively voted on one person to stay around (so only one person goes home). That way there would always be someone who wasn't already surgically attached to someone else.

 

 

That's exactly what this show was missing....breaking up the "power couples" forcing them to choose other partners in order to get a rose once their professed love has left.  I'm only believing a few of these couples as being anything other than being together to form an iron-clad alliance with guaranteed roses every week.  The exception is Marcus and Cody...both of whom professed undying love to Andi just weeks before falling in love again with their respective partners.

 

The drama of next week?  I am completely unspoiled....hopefully it is OK to speculate but maybe it is a combination of having to date someone else and either new contestents or some of the rejected returning?  Have they ever mentioned what the end game was here?  Does anyone actually win anything?

[ramble]

I wonder if this show will come back next summer.

Oh how I hope! I'm loving this garbage heap of a show. It's like a junk food pig out after a week of no sugar or carbs. Sure I feel a little bloated, nauseated & ashamed, but I know I'll do it all again next week.

[Kbilly]

We haven't seen the handcuffs and blood on the floor thing that was previewed in the beginning right??

 

I'm pretty sure Lacy said "It's all so natural in nature." She is not the brightest "stalact-light" in the cave.

 

I feel really embarrassed for Jackie's boob (hack)job. I don't understand why you would ever wear a low cut top again!

 

I imagined Clare's head exploding when Zach gave Jackie that bracelet.

 

 

[Arkay]

I am constantly amazed at the way some of these people speak. Did Zack say "romantical," or did I make that up in my head? I definitely heard AshLee say "ungratitude," to go along with her previous use of "conversate."

Also, while I understand not everyone will always be able to distinguish between stalagmites and stalactites, I would assume an adult would have some prior knowledge that these formations exist, instead of being all befuddled as was Lacy. When I was a kid we learned that stalagmites have a "g" for ground and stalactites have a "c" for ceiling.

This issue makes me like Brooks and Tasos more, because they are articulate.

Edited September 2, 2014 by Arkay

[KR Vermont]

Arkay, Zack did indeed say "romantical"...he's a man of few words, so why not combine romantic and magical to describe a first date with a woman who keeps professing she doesn't kiss on a first date and yet there they both are--hotly making out in a shallow pool in a cave adorned with many large, festive star-shaped white lights. Romantical!

 

Poor Lacy couldn't mimic repeated stalactite and stalagmite pronunciations from the behind-the-camera guy, but no worries for she has Marcus who is reveling his role of protector, so she'll likely be just fine. Now if she would tone down the odd makeup and garment choices that make her skin color look funky. 

[violetr]

The women berating Jesse went on way too long but he deserved it. I mean, he referred to Tasos as "Taco".....because he's brown? What a complete ass. 

I love Brooks. He's utterly adorable. I was surprised he drank the Jackie Koolaid, though. She seems very bland to me, but maybe she has a magic vagina or something. 

 

I would TOTALLY swim in a bat cave. Sign me up!

[woodscommaelle]

Never watched the season she was on, and don't know if I would know the answer regardless.  But is Money her real last name?

[TheFinalRose]

We haven't seen the handcuffs and blood on the floor thing that was previewed in the beginning right??

 

 

No, and if we don't get that next week I think we all need to band together and sue for false advertising. Hear that Fleiss?  We are waiting.

 

I imagined Clare's head exploding when Zach gave Jackie that bracelet.

 

 

I know. I wish she hadn't left, she and Brooks could have hit it off!

[OnceSane]

That date was so romantical!  I hate that non-word.

 

I'm surprised that the sound of Clare's head exploding wasn't heard 'round the world.

[CindyBee]

Never watched the season she was on, and don't know if I would know the answer regardless.  But is Money her real last name?

 

Its her ex-husband's last name that Michelle has.  Can't remember his first name but Mr. Money does exist.  

[KerleyQ]

The drama of next week?  I am completely unspoiled....hopefully it is OK to speculate but maybe it is a combination of having to date someone else and either new contestents or some of the rejected returning?  Have they ever mentioned what the end game was here?  Does anyone actually win anything?

 

I think the "prize" is getting to famewhore in "paradise" through to the bitter end of the season (and whatever "relationship" you end up with). 

[chocolatine]

Its her ex-husband's last name that Michelle has.  Can't remember his first name but Mr. Money does exist.

 

 

Is it Eddie by any chance? They must still be on friendly terms because he gave her one of his two tickets to paradise. 

[JenE4]

I'm thinking the ending is that they are given the opportunity to propose if they want to continue their journey outside of paradise and that's why everyone is freaking out and crying. And my guess on the blood and handcuffs were Graham's foreshadowing. If he was worried that AshLee would cut someone over not getting a date card, imagine what will happen when he says he's not proposing! Granted, there's no way the ending is going to be THAT good, but one can dream!

[NikSac]

This episode had so many great sound bites, I can't even remember half of them. Tryanosaurus Rex? "I would single-handedly kill him with my own two hands". I love this show sometimes.

 

How did I not catch this the first time around?  Hilarious! I think I want to be an editor on this show.  There's so much opportunity, plus they get to incorporate talking wildlife like raccoons and sea-turtles. I would never have thought this would be a show you have to watch twice just to catch all the jokes because you're laughing too hard the first time around, but I may be wrong.

[coconutcookie]

Two things:

 

I wonder what Desiree thinks of Brooks on this show.  He doesn't show me much, and I wonder if he tried, as Andi succeeeded, to become the next Bachelor/Bachelorette by blowing off the star of the show. 

 

And Jackie's boobs.  What the heck?!!  It looks like she has skinny flaps that start folding right at the top.  Weird.

[Rainsong]

Many viewers here may have noticed  that Chris Harrison is credited as a producer.

 

Although we may think network TV is a sophisticated undertaking this show reveals it is the equivalent of a Vegas grind joint.  Small amounts bet, rely on the house edge, try to keep the lights on.  The ultra-cheap Mexico locale and the mundane date activities reveal that Messrs Harrison & Fleiss are attempting to prove to ABC they can turn a profit on this summer replacement candyfloss.  I suppose the show's return is all down to ratings, as per usual, with a possible additional PR buzz in the form of a planned wedding.

 

I'm too lazy to look up Bachelor Pad ratings but that show's content was vastly superior to this format which is neither fish nor fowl in terms of creating a love match.

 

If it does return it will need a major overhaul of format, rules, etc. and hopefully the budget can be increased to allow for something beyond lounging on chairs and playing ball games out of sheer boredom.

Edited September 3, 2014 by Rainsong

[Shugardrawers]

Two things:

 

I wonder what Desiree thinks of Brooks on this show.  He doesn't show me much, and I wonder if he tried, as Andi succeeeded, to become the next Bachelor/Bachelorette by blowing off the star of the show.

 

And Jackie's boobs.  What the heck?!!  It looks like she has skinny flaps that start folding right at the top.  Weird.

Literally or figuratively?  Because I'm fairly sure her whole beef with Juan Pablo was that he didn't reciprocate the favor LOL

[Irritable]

I think the poor installation of Jackie's breast implants looks like it was done by the same quack who installed Tori Spelling's.  I'm guessing they were bolted on too far apart, and when the owner of the boobs tries to push them closer together to make some cleavage, they end up with that weird gaping gap thing.  If I were Jackie, I would definitely be wearing a different style of top with those, something that was less about exposing cleavage and more about trying to somehow flatter the shape they are in.   I can't help but wonder if the women who buy these think they are fooling anyone.  In their minds, do they believe we all see them on television and think their breasts are real, and are somehow impressed?  For me, I am distracted by them.  The faker the boob's appearance, the more I end up looking at them and having questions.  Does it still give them higher self confidence even if the boobs are ridiculous?  I don't really understand the whole implant phenomenon that has swept the nation.