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S14.E09: Is Love on the Table?


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1 minute ago, mythoughtis said:

He’s talking to her like she’s his daughter, not a wife 

I wouldn’t even let my daughter get talked down to like that..,by anyone.  

Peace out all. Wishing you health, happiness and chocolate. 

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2 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

“I need to see where you are as a woman.” Oh, shit! Cue the sirens—police and ambulance on their way. Producers are all: 911? We got a justifiable homicide about to take place.

Lol, yep, there’s not a judge or jury who’d convict her after that!

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Starts out with all the couples having issues, then all the couples miraculously get along great with dinners, hearing "I love you", cooking classes etc.

Next up, the couples are back to having issues.

The producers need to stop with all the couples following the same path!!

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2 hours ago, candall said:

I think they've all done the deed.  

I don't believe Jasmina and Mike have consummated their marriage.   

Ola is determined to mold Katina into his ideal woman. The fact that he keeps talking about her “wifely duties” and pointing out her every flaw is very concerning. It’s almost as if she has to prove that she is worthy of him. On the other hand, she ignores every single red flag about him. And if someone brings up something negative about him, she glosses over it or explains it away

I wonder if Steve is really in-love with Noi or is just saying what he knows she wants to hear.

Now that Alyssa is gone, Lindsey and Katina seem to be getting along. It’s a welcome change.    

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49 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

And what is Olajuwon going to do for her?  Can he fix shit around the house?  She has a job, too, and it's not like she's gonna be sitting on the couch eating Cheetos all day. 

After that display, she might be gone before decision day or in another apartment.  

 

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2 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I'm sorry but I cannot stand Katina's voice.  Makes me want to gnaw on my left foot.

Katina's voice annoys me too. Lindsey's doesn't for some reason, I have no idea why.

 

1 hour ago, Straycat80 said:

They need to keep pets out of these shots. When Jasmina and Mike were talking, I  thought Mr. Feeney was more interesting, same with Mark and Lindsey, I was looking at the calico cat. Sorry, I like animals, sometimes more than people. 

Hi, Alyssa!  j/k 😁

 

1 hour ago, JenE4 said:

Talk about inner child coming out. We just saw a bunch of 10-year-old boys living their best lives with that archery version of paintball. Hilarious. Ok, now on to the inner child trauma part… Olajuwon is contemplating ending his marriage because she doesn’t clean before bed?! I feel like they should have him watch clips of all of the rest of these dysfunctional couples having drag-out fights. You two are the “best” ones if he would just let up on the old-fashioned housewife stuff. Katina is even trying here to cook and clean—not fighting him on it, like every other one of these women would. He doesn’t realize how lucky he has it.

 

His standards are ridiculous. Why all this gendered crap anyway? Katina is lovely to look at, she has a good job, and she is more than tolerant of his promiscuous past  and ADHD motormouth, yet he has the nerve to criticize her "housewifely" suitability. Has he ever had a long-term relationship? 

 

1 hour ago, candall said:

Yikes.  I've introduced a lot of people to sushi and you start with things like California roll and Philadelphia roll--COOKED, familiar things, not raw sashimi. 

I'm sliding some points from Lindsey's side to Mark's side.  He was a pretty good sport.  And also didn't get the appreciation I think he earned for trying to please her.

Oh, man, this show is boring.  Look, I've made a sushi rant.

 

I'm not a fan of sushi, it's one of the few foods I don't care for, although I would eat it if was served to me by a dinner host. Mark is a good sport to eat it to please Lindsey.

 

52 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

And I hope she does it with a fucking frying pan.

Yeah, she needs to go all Rapunzel on him. He deserves it.

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1 hour ago, kristen111 said:

Why take Mark for sushi when you know he hates it.   Go with your girlfriends.  What is she trying to prove?

Lindsey didn't take him.  He said he wanted to take her for sushi because he knows she loves it.

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Why was O all lathered up that Katina had her friends pick up the food for the apartment warming party?

It could have gone like this......

Friends: "Can we bring anything?" 

K: "No, we're planning on getting carry out chicken from XYZ." 

Friends: "XYZ is right on the way over, we'll stop and pick it up"

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2 hours ago, candall said:

Oh, FFS, Mark-the-Shark.  Just force yourself to squeeze out a compliment every few hours.

I go back and forth on Mark and Lindsey, but right now I feel that Lindsey is being very open about what she needs.  Please just say something nice to me every now and then.

And so he tried.  But she never apologized for announcing to the world that he stinks up the bathroom, farts in bed, doesn't satisfy her sexually and is a loser with a dumb job who doesn't make any money.  Maybe it's hard for him to be nice after that.

2 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

I don’t like watching Michael having to talk about his brother’s death.  I did like  Jasmine scooting  over to him to let him know he was heard and she had sympathy for him. I haven’t watched every minute of every episode but I was very surprised by her action there. 

Yeah that was rough.  I have news for her - at the park picnic he was trying to talk TO her, like she wants, and she was the one who got attitude and tone towards him first.  Then when he talks back he gets in trouble for not talking nicely enough to her.  After her revelation in next week's previews, I'm betting that they're the ones who get sent to tantric sex class next week 😄. There's one couple every season!

1 hour ago, Crashcourse said:

And what is Olajuwon going to do for her?  Can he fix shit around the house?  She has a job, too, and it's not like she's gonna be sitting on the couch eating Cheetos all day. 

Well apparently he has bought a house and has paid off his student loans and she has not.  He has said he cooks breakfast every day, and then helps with dinner and cleaning up after the party.  Not that I'm sticking up for him - I think he's really looking at this, aside from the whole "housewife" thing, as a scorecard where he is up on her and she needs to raise her score or take a hike.  No credit given for being agreeable and trying, which I think she gets an A+ at. He is the one who doesn't seem ready to be married, since he only wants the perfect wife who exists in his head and can't get on board with a real human being.  I felt bad for her.

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2 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

O has a whole lot of requirements.  What does he offer her?  Does he meet her requirements 

Exactly! I was screaming at the TV " And what exactly do you bring to the table, Olajawan?"

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19 minutes ago, princelina said:

And so he tried.  But she never apologized for announcing to the world that he stinks up the bathroom, farts in bed, doesn't satisfy her sexually and is a loser with a dumb job who doesn't make any money.  Maybe it's hard for him to be nice after that.

Yeah that was rough.  I have news for her - at the park picnic he was trying to talk TO her, like she wants, and she was the one who got attitude and tone towards him first.  Then when he talks back he gets in trouble for not talking nicely enough to her.  After her revelation in next week's previews, I'm betting that they're the ones who get sent to tantric sex class next week 😄. There's one couple every season!

Well apparently he has bought a house and has paid off his student loans and she has not.  He has said he cooks breakfast every day, and then helps with dinner and cleaning up after the party.  Not that I'm sticking up for him - I think he's really looking at this, aside from the whole "housewife" thing, as a scorecard where he is up on her and she needs to raise her score or take a hike.  No credit given for being agreeable and trying, which I think she gets an A+ at. He is the one who doesn't seem ready to be married, since he only wants the perfect wife who exists in his head and can't get on board with a real human being.  I felt bad for her.

I don't know if this was said by Olaj on the show, or I read it here, but Olaj  had never dated a black woman. I don't know if that means he's dated white, Asian, or Latina, or just one other race solely. Could Olaj be this disagreeable just to push Katina away? 

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3 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

I don't know if this was said by Olaj on the show, or I read it here, but Olaj  had never dated a black woman. I don't know if that means he's dated white, Asian, or Latina, or just one other race solely. Could Olaj be this disagreeable just to push Katina away? 

I don't know - he seems to me to really like her but is acting like a baby because she doesn't perform up to some standard he has set in his head.  I'm white and don't even pretend to clean my house - Mr. P enjoys all that 😄. I think he just needs to get over his own ideas about "what a wife is" and work out a routine with the wife he has. 

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(edited)

I'm wondering what type of relationship Olaj's parents had. Are they still together? His idea of what a wife is seems outdated. They both work f/t.

Now that being said, I'm married close to 40 years. I was a teacher when I married but only worked a short time afterward because I became a sahm after the birth of my 1st child. When my 2nd child was a bit older, I did return f/t to work, but by then my husband was so used to me cooking a home cooked meal every night, that I continued as he expected it. We're both kind of old school in that regard. When I became a sahm, I felt that cooking & cleaning was doing my fair share, as well as most of the child care. My husband did all of the yard work, house maintenance, and car care. I paid the bills because I was better at it.

However, when both work f/t it's unreasonable for one spouse to do all the cooking unless they want to.  Like perhaps one spouse likes cooking but would rather not do all the laundry. There's got to be compromise. Mr. ECM is semi-retired now and I am still cooking every night. And not by choice. Katina, stand your ground, honey!

 

ETA: Mr. ECM does make a mean bacon and eggs breakfast, as well as pancakes. He's on his own for lunch 

Edited by ECM1231
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I would like Lyndsey to realize that constantly saying Mark's life is in chaos will not make him feel any better than how she feels when he judges her.

The constant judgment both ways is just too much.

 

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4 hours ago, candall said:

Oh, man.  "What is the definition of a 'wife' to you?"

Way to pick a fight, Olajuwon.

 

She just said, "Thanks for helping me with a kitchen task" and he was suddenly 0 to 60 about how she wasn't putting forth sufficient effort.  Sigh.  Eyeroll.  Reel it back in, O.

He sounds like he’s interviewing her for the job of wife.  Anyone else want to be employed by your husband?  I’d have walked away by now.  

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1 minute ago, gingerandcloves said:

I don't know how Katina stayed so calm throughout all that ranting of Olajuwon's. I probably would've clawed his eyes out. Honestly, the nerve of him.

He appears to be looking for a cook, maid, etc rather than a partner.    He doesn’t seem to understand that everyone has different strengths.  If he enjoys cooking, then he should be the one to cook.   If he doesn’t enjoy cooking, then he should be glad someone put food on the table whether it’s home cooked or not. 
it wasn’t just  HIS housewarming party.  It was hers too.  He complained because she didn’t do everything to get ready for it on her own while he sat back and put his feet up on the coffee table.  What effort did he do besides what they did together?  Why was she the only one expected to put forth individual effort?  And why was he criticizing how she went about it.  It was three or four friends at a contrived party for filming purposes.  

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8 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

He appears to be looking for a cook, maid, etc rather than a partner.    He doesn’t seem to understand that everyone has different strengths.  If he enjoys cooking, then he should be the one to cook.   If he doesn’t enjoy cooking, then he should be glad someone put food on the table whether it’s home cooked or not. 
it wasn’t just  HIS housewarming party.  It was hers too.  He complained because she didn’t do everything to get ready for it on her own while he sat back and put his feet up on the coffee table.  What effort did he do besides what they did together?  Why was she the only one expected to put forth individual effort?  And why was he criticizing how she went about it.  It was three or four friends at a contrived party for filming purposes.  

Where does O get this antiquated vision of a wife from??? Most wives nowadays work. Is he really expecting her to work, come home from work and cook and clean while he just gets waited on???? Marriage is 50/50. This isn’t 1950 anymore. Now, if she was a stay at home wife with no job I would say she would have more household duties on her shoulders but that’s not the case here so O needs to chill. This is married at first sight not Housekeepers At First Sight. He needs to get a grip and realize it’s 2022 and women are no longer relegated to housework. 

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I knew I didn't like Olajuwon just from the way he said "wife" on the wedding day. Like, his wife is his possession, his prize, but she must be the way he wants her to be. On that day, when he saw Katina, his "wife" was so, so beautiful, the experts found the perfect woman.

Weeks later, he's now saying she has no life skills, she doesn't want to cook, or clean.  She  just doesn't live up to his expectations as a wife. His marriage is so difficult because she doesn't just do wifely things without him telling her to...

However, I don't see what he's bringing to her as a husband except a lot of criticism, opinions, and just always seems shallow. Not sure if these two will make it past Decision Day (or if I want  them to), but they have no chance if he doesn't make some personal improvements of his own. 

 

 

 

 

 

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39 minutes ago, Bees52 said:

Weeks later, he's now saying she has no life skills, she doesn't want to cook, or clean.

 

I was waiting for her to say, "Hey, dumbass, I got by BEFORE you, and I can get by WITHOUT you... so screw your 'life skills' idea. I"m NOT your child, and guess what? I'm 'bout to be NOT YOUR WIFE either!"

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I noticed Mark's 1% comment, too. But I saw it as a plus on his side. I think he looks up to Chris as someone who is articulate and able to exhibit courteous, respectful behavior in spite of great provocation. I believe Mark knows he himself is not as articulate as he would like to be with Lindsay, which could well help prevent misunderstanding and conflict. Hence the 1% remark. I was pleased to see her actually seem to be listening to him work his way through expressing his feeling without jumping down his throat. And since actions speak volumes, his taking her to dinner at the sushi restaurant was one of those 'what have you done for me' things she's been wanting. Mark's sashimi soliloquy was well placed comic relief - which may well be his strong point. In my experience, people who have the capacity to laugh at themselves have rather good ego strength.

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This is my first time watching MAFS.  I saw it an ad saying it was in Boston.  Since I live here, I wanted to check it out.  I'm not sure what the concept of the show is.  Do they always put couples together, like these folks, that seem destined to divorce? I watch 90 Day Fiance and other reality shows.  At least on 90 days, some of the couples make it, although there is a lot of manufactured drama.  MAFS, to me, seems like their "experts" are just putting couples together who are totally opposite in their views and producers are directing the couples like a fictional t.v. show.  

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12 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

So is this Olajuwon treating Katina like a queen? Or even better, yet another of his tests? Hey Olajuwon, the 50’s called and it wants your ideas of marriage back.

That is such a perfect way to put it!   I wonder why she hasn't called him on it more directly?  

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Olajuwan, he's kidding, right?  Surely he MUST be kidding!  Someone tell me he's kidding!  And Katina is in on it, otherwise how could she keep a straight face? 

I agree with the poster who thought that Steve said the "L"  word just because he thought that's what Noi wanted to hear.

I missed most of this ep but will catch up . . . maybe.

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13 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

I don’t like watching Michael having to talk about his brother’s death.  I did like  Jasmine scooting  over to him to let him know he was heard and she had sympathy for him. I haven’t watched every minute of every episode but I was very surprised by her action there. 

well, yeah, she asked the questions and let him talk, but no hug to comfort him, nothing.

i think production just wanted her to ask so we could see why he was so sensitive and near tears a lot and she is just cold.

13 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Why take Mark for sushi when you know he hates it.   Go with your girlfriends.  What is she trying to prove?

yeah, and then she decides what he's going to have instead of letting him pick something easy to start with.

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8 minutes ago, cinsays said:

h, and then she decides what he's going to have instead of letting him pick something easy to start with.

Well, to tell the truth, MARK (or the producers) picked the sushi place for Lindsey to show that he was listening to her and wanted something nice for her. I am guessing he thought he could have something like tempura or something not so wiggly. Since he doesn't eat sushi, she picked out food for him to start with - although I do think she picked the grossest things to start, which was mean.

About 5 minutes into this show, I wanted to slap that Jasmina. Does she spend all day looking for ways that she has been offended? Poor Micheal, although he is boring, he is trying and she cuts him off every time. She is so cold and stern and is just waiting to be mad. At the end, I was glad that she moved closer to him and touched him, because I was afraid she wouldn't. But, to me, SHE is the one who is condescending and she speaks to him like a mean teacher. Then, at the pedicure place, she says they have fun and laugh all the time - what??? I would like to see her just smile, just once.

Katina is a mess. For whatever reason, she keeps listening to that crap her prize of a husband is spewing. It was bad enough that he was talking about how he didn't want to have to teach her any life skills (um, she has been successful in her adult life so far, you idiot), but it sounds like he wanted to open a package and out walks a Stepford Barbie, ready to please her master. He is absolutely disgusting. I am glad that Jasmina mentioned on the Afterparty that Katina doesn't always just sit there and take it - she pushes back, but has to do that often. But, it also infuriated me that O keeps talking, not about expectations, but STANDARDS that she must meet in order to earn the right to be his wife. OMG. I am glad I didn't have anything to throw at the TV. Once they decide to have sex, I sure hope she does it the way he wants it or she will hear about that, too. Never mind him wanting to please her.  And because she doesn't work out like he does, he calls her lazy? I wish I could be so lazy and have a body like hers. 

Speaking of sex, did you hear how Jasmina referred to her lack of attraction to Michael next week? Yikes! So, it's sex time next week. Since Noi and Steve have said I love you, I am guessing that they have had sex. And Mark and Lindsey, but I don't think anyone else has.

Noi continues to aNOI me with her pouty, mumbly, baby voice and her lack of ability to have an adult conversation. Especially one that doesn't include the word 'cute.' She is so immature and Steve seems to me to be a normal, rational, mature adult. And he is stuck with a child bride.

I spent a lot of time jumping to other shows - shopping channels, the news, Everybody Loves Raymond, etc. because this was so unenjoyable. I still say that this is the most unlikeable group of people - and yet they are boring. O isn't boring, I guess, he is unlikeable and infuriating. 

Another vote for more Mr. Feeney. He's adorable.

 

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15 hours ago, candall said:

Two weeks?  I feel I've been following these goofy people in real time.

 

Am I the only one who thinks Noi had nothing to do with putting that treasure hunt together?

Yes.

Just like I never believe when the spouses just happen to drape rose peddles all over the bed.  And that Jasmina didn't on her own do the personal training lesson.

It's possible that Lindsay came up with the batting cages as a fun thing since that didn't seem so over the top.

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(edited)
15 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

So is this Olajuwon treating Katina like a queen? Or even better, yet another of his tests? Hey Olajuwon, the 50’s called and it wants your ideas of marriage back.

I really hated to see him break her down. You could see it when she was basically trying to make what happened seem reasonable when she was out with the girls.

It's disconcerting to see her so ready to take Lindsay down but then really only disengage with O instead of telling him to fuck off.

 

14 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Am I the only one that would much rather do archery than get a pedicure? 

My feet are so ugly that I wouldn't subject anyone to a day tending to my feet or have my girlfriends gather around having to look at them.

Edited by Boo Boo
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(edited)

I blame the "experts" for the failing of Olajuwon & Katina.

Olajuwon clearly wants a more traditional wife who cooks, cleans, and lives up to his standards of what he believes a "wife" is.  

Katina likes nightlife, eating out, friends.

Clearly these two are not well matched.  

And I blame these so-called "experts".

IMHO, there is nothing wrong with Olajuwon wanting a wife to cook all his meals, sweep the floor, plan a party for "his" housewarming (yes, he did say "his).  But Katina is not that girl.  

Also IMHO, there is nothing wrong with Katina wanting to go out a few times a week, explore new restaurants, and try new places.  But Olajuwon is not that guy.

This isn't about women in the year 2020's, or anything like that.  It's about what individual people want.  Olajuwon wants something that Katina isn't.  

Edited by Starlight925
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17 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Lindsay at least is expressing how she feels without being overly emotional…so far. Mark does seem to be trying. Bet they are regretting that first night sex. 

I think Mark is showing he’s trying, but checked out a few weeks ago.  He’s playing the trying, but she will never change to be the wife he’s looking for, therefore pretending until decision day.  She’s a sweet caring person, but her overdone personality would drive a man nuts in the long run.  She’s just too much of everything.  She’s also a serious drinker.

 

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