Jump to content

Type keyword(s) to search

S05.E07: Never Have I Ever


  • Reply
  • Start Topic

Recommended Posts

Jasmine leaves Gino home and parties with a stripper; Kim and Usman clash over sleeping arrangements; Memphis is angry at Hamza's immaturity; Mike's habits gross out Ximena; Ben gets bad news from Mahogany; Alina reveals something she's been hiding.
 

Airs 01/23/22

  • Love 1
Link to comment

Thank you for the discussion thread!

So Jasmine goes to a party sans Gino. Her *divorce* party, complete with a male stripper. At least she has decent footwear. The party also got her drunk and trash talking Gino a bit. He will eventually see the footage and the male stripper's naked butt. Well, the show covered it for the viewer. It did go on a little too long for my liking.

Kimbaaaaly is running out of time to see if Usman is boyfriend and/or husband material. He is not too keen on moving in to her hotel room. He likes his own space. Don't blame him. They did go to a nice historical town and I enjoyed that and the market. He did mention her MJ obsession, even down to the hat she picked out for him.

Hamza is complaining that Memphis nags too much. Uh, she wants to get the paperwork done for the marriage, and she is also running out of time. Two weeks go by fast. His friend forgot his car insurance info at home and can't drive them. And Memphis does not do the bus. Yep, a marriage that may last 6 months to a year.

  • Love 16
Link to comment
12 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

So Jasmine goes to a party sans Gino. Her *divorce* party, complete with a male stripper.

Before the stripper got there, that had to be the lamest divorce party ever. Five people, all dressed up, sitting around a spartan hotel room drinking wine and  discussing Jasmine and “Yeeno’s” sex life without a bit of food in sight! 

I can’t wait until Gino sees the video without Jasmine’s crotch shots and the stripper’s butt blurred out. 

 

 

 

Edited by magemaud
Corrected typo that looked like Memphis was speaking to Hamza
  • LOL 12
  • Love 5
Link to comment

Yeah, Usman, your bill is due. Either return the gifts to Superfan Kimbaaaaly, apologize for leading her on and having zero interest in her being your girlfriend, or put out. Lesson for Kimbaaaky, unless you have millions and a $3000 or so is chump change, hold off on giving undeserved expensive gifts to international superstars who can afford their own laptops and gaming systems.

Women of my generation were brought up to know that most gifts came with price tags. Things like flowers are romantic gestures in the initial courtship. Expensive stuff comes with expectations.

Wonder if Zara will show up and Usman leaves Superfan in the dust.

  • Useful 1
  • LOL 3
  • Love 12
Link to comment
10 hours ago, magemaud said:

Before the stripper got there, that had to be the lamest divorce party ever. Five people, all dressed up, sitting around a spartan hotel room drinking wine and  discussing Jasmine and “Yeeno’s” sex life without a bit of food in sight! 

I can’t wait until Gino sees the video without Jasmine’s crotch shots and the stripper’s butt blurred out. 

 

 

 

Maybe they were waiting for room service for the food, or it was in the fridge. Or the menu was just alcohol.

  • Love 2
Link to comment

I am sick of Usman playing all coy and naïve.  He knows what she is doing and what he is doing in response.  It’s as bad as a woman using cramps for her excuse allllll month long.  Tell her the truth, dude.  And she needs to ask for her laptop and PS back.

  • Love 19
Link to comment

Kimbaaaly - What a tool.

Gino - What a tool.

Ben - What a slimy tool.

Memphis - She keeps verbalizing distrust and that she finds him immature but is hell bent on marrying him before she leaves.

Scameina - Too bad she could not have kept him in America sending money.

Mike - She can’t stand the sight of you.

Calib - Run!!  Run fast.

Ella - Move on, girl.

Edited by Kid
  • LOL 3
  • Love 20
Link to comment
18 minutes ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

Omg, could that pair of trolls Alina and Elijah be any creepier? They definitely set Caleb up to be walked in on, right?

At least Elijah is forcing her to be honest.

  • Love 12
Link to comment
7 hours ago, winsomeone said:

Doesn't Ximena still have ovaries? If so, she can still do IVF? Sounded like she wants no part of the pain of labor though.

No offense meant to Ximena but idk what level of science class, repro health knowledge or even birth control access this girl had. She was a child when she got pregnant the first time and was using words like hoo hoo and pee pee instead of vagina and penis.  I don't believe she is well educated around any of the options. 

  • Love 18
Link to comment
1 hour ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

Omg, could that pair of trolls Alina and Elijah be any creepier? They definitely set Caleb up to be walked in on, right?

Yes, but why would you want your bestie to see you partially naked?  Gay or not?

Allina is pissed because she did not get her Boink Me on Demand, same as KIMBAAAAALEEE, and so she is seeking revenge. Mission accomplished, troll girl.

Kim....please stop badgering him.  You know that is a giant boner killer, right?  And stop with the passive aggressive No, I'm fine....I'm FINE when you are clearly not fine.

Memphis.......Ella......just no.  Johnny's parents want a Chinese DIL.  Not morbidly obese American. 

And fyi:  Boink Me on Demand is purple and Laura can get you hooked up!

Pastor Pred.  When will you learn?  Never?  Got it.  As the Silva twins say:  SNATCH!

Edited by Mrs. Hanson
  • LOL 11
  • Love 2
Link to comment
2 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Yes, but why would you want your bestie to see you partially naked?  Gay or not?

Allina is pissed because she did not get her Boink Me on Demand, same as KIMBAAAAALEEE, and so she is seeking revenge. Mission accomplished, troll girl.

Kim....please stop badgering him.  You know that is a giant boner killer, right?  And stop with the passive aggressive No, I'm fine....I'm FINE when you are clearly not fine.

Memphis.......Ella......just no.  Johnny's parents want a Chinese DIL.  Not morbidly obese American. 

And fyi:  Boink Me on Demand is purple and Laura can get you hooked up!

Pastor Pred.  When will you learn?  Never?  Got it.  As the Silva twins say:  SNATCH!

He has to have his x there to rub it in her face? If I was his kids or ex, I'd say 'Sue looks like true love to me -go for it!'😏😈

  • LOL 3
  • Love 2
Link to comment

I'm not Team Alina, but what's the BFD if she lived with a boyfriend for a few months? Caleb doesn't seem to be that much into her anyway, so he should just tell her they have no long term future and leave. It would be more honest for them both to just go home.

  • Love 21
Link to comment
On 1/23/2022 at 4:25 PM, nutella fitzgerald said:

Omg, could that pair of trolls Alina and Elijah be any creepier? They definitely set Caleb up to be walked in on, right?

That wouldn't surprise me.  Last week, Alina said that now they’d had sex, she needs to hear something from Caleb about their future.  I believe her plan was to manipulate him into having sex and then using it as her leverage to get a commitment. I am convinced that she pressured Elijah and Maria to grill him about his intentions. I have a feeling she misled them into believing things were more serious with Caleb than they really were.

Edited by Adeejay
  • Love 16
Link to comment
5 minutes ago, FrancescaFiore said:

He knows about the posts & says he doesn't believe "in her heart" that she's racist. 

But he's kind of invested in keeping his place on the show  and I would think he wouldn't to be like, yes she is and he's with her. We'll have to stay tuned, see if more comes out. 

  • Love 2
Link to comment

All of the Kimbaaaalee scenes felt so predatory to me- well, equal parts cringe and predatory. He should never have gone over, but she needs to stop being such a freaking fiend. 
 

And the way she clenched her mouth and violently slapped his hand away when walking back to the cab… I think she’s hiding some real Grangela-type potential for Nasty American under the “I don’t beg” façade. 

  • Love 17
Link to comment

Alina: "You wouldn't even know if Elijah hadn't told you!" is not the defense you think it is.

Jasmean: You flip out if Gino even looks at another woman, but it's OK for a stripper to rub his crotch all over you???

Pastor dude: You're being played and are too willfully stupid to realize it. The excuses will keep coming as long as your bank account holds out.

  • Love 19
Link to comment
11 hours ago, JeanJean said:

Someone please tell Alina that it will be over when Caleb finds out what a racist she is.

Caleb knows. He just doesnt give a rats ass bc as soon as the cameras were off he was gone.

All these ppl have fetishes:

Ella: Asian fetish

Caleb & Alina: famewhore fetish

Mike: Needy fetish

Ximena: Money fetish

Gino and Jasmine: S&M fetish with her being the dominate and him being the sub

Ben: Young girl fetish

Mahogany: see Ximena's fetish

Kimberly: MJ fetish

Usman: See Mahogany's fetish coupled with Caleb and Alina's fetish

Did i forget anyone?

  • LOL 4
  • Love 15
Link to comment

I totally see that Ximena is using Mike BUT...   I feel sorry for her.  Rough life; past, present, and future.  I can't imagine how to cope in those circumstances.  Also, Mike's nasty habits would gag a maggot.  From the skid-mark gonchies to the incessant farting to the belching, no one could stomach that.  You know that's nasty shit when even hit man ex-girlfriend is grossed out enough to kick him to the curb.  Seriously, Mike, take some probiotics and Metamucil and have a really good crap and quit farting on everyone.

  • LOL 5
  • Love 12
Link to comment
11 hours ago, liammaam said:

I wouldn’t wish this in anyone- so, no Ella, The Delta “virus” is not just an excuse. This shit is nasty, even if people don’t want to acknowledge how painful and uncomfortable it is. 

And Idaho got hit bad.

  • Useful 1
  • Love 8
Link to comment
19 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Just watched it on D plus.  I. Have No. Words.

I was wanting it to end so I could watch the Rams and Bucs.  Then the Chiefs and Bill's.

I am going to leave this right here:

Screenshot_20220123-120939_Firefox.jpg

Apologies for being O/T - this should have gone into over time - it should be based on skill - not luck.

Back on topic - I have ZERO confidence that ANY of these couples will last. Z-E-R-O!!! What a total shit show!!

  • Love 8
Link to comment
10 hours ago, FrancescaFiore said:

He knows about the posts & says he doesn't believe "in her heart" that she's racist. 

I just looked up the racist comments Alina made and it's quite unsettling. It changes my perception of her. Caleb - why are you supporting this? You have eyes and ears.

Also, her constant pressuring for commitment from Caleb: Slow down there, girl. Caleb is working at his own pace and you shouldn't stomp all over that, insisting for some kind of premature commitment to ease your anxieties. He's not ready for that. He has a lot to process and to think about. Your judgement isn't the best. Inviting Elijah along to blab whatever is at the top of his head, like the little game you all played and his bringing up the "big secret". In my opinion, this nothing big reveal never really had to be shared. Was it really a big deal to begin with? You made it more than it was.

Poor, poor Usman. I could just see the producers of the show in his hotel room after the two had parted for the night: "GO, go to her room now!" So he dragged himself, very sheepishly and unwillingly and I could just see everything he had inside of him, screaming, "I can't do this!" G'ma Kim, unable to read the room couldn't see that. HE IS NOT INTO YOU. AT ALL. Not even in the smallest of ways. He hasn't reciprocated to your "I love you" comment in the cab, he hasn't embraced you, he hasn't touched you except for your hand. He can't connect with you. He refuses to have sex with you. He works with beautiful and talented young women, why do you think he would want you for his wife? Accept it, cry a little and go home. You each have a life to live and it doesn't include each other.

  • Love 23
Link to comment
On 1/23/2022 at 12:22 PM, Kid said:

Perfect!!!!!!

Meal ticket come with a price.  Someone should have taught her that!!

I think they are both nuts.  He’s gross, and I don’t get what the hell she is.  Thank goodness she had her parts taken out.  She would have had a kid every year.
 

 

 

Edited by kristen111
  • Love 5
Link to comment
20 minutes ago, Breedom said:

I could just see everything he had inside of him, screaming, "I can't do this!" G'ma Kim, unable to read the room couldn't see that. HE IS NOT INTO YOU. AT ALL.

Usman just put a brown paper bag over her head, then put one over your head. She's a two bagger!

  • LOL 9
  • Love 2
Link to comment

Re Alina the racist Rumpelstiltskin: Sometimes it's also the little things (pun probably intended). How hard is it to pronounce someone's name correctly? She's "known" him for 13 years, and she still says Cah-leb instead of Cay-leb. From ah to ay is just a tiny tweak of Russian vowel sounds, but still she persists in getting it wrong on purpose. It's amazing (amahzing?) to me that she feels so entitled in so many ways. Including toward people of color, especially since she's basically ripping off black American music--or trying to.

  • Love 14
Link to comment

Noxzema is the pot calling the kettle black. Has she taken a good look at herself lately? Her hair is dirty, she's covered in ugly tats and she looks years older than she actually is. Mikey boy, you can do a lot better than this trollop.

It's hard to pick which couple is the most tiresome, but Hanza and Memphis are racing to the top of the list. Memphis thinks shouting at him in broken English is going to make him understand her better. What a loon. I don't think the local cuisine is to blame for Memphis's digestion issues -- I think he's just realizing that her match made in heaven is more like a deal with the devil.

  • LOL 2
  • Love 15
Link to comment
2 hours ago, Chloe Dog said:

Also, Mike's nasty habits would gag a maggot. 

Mike, have some common sense. You are in a new relationship, why would you knowingly exhibit your poor behavior to X? No one wants to be kissing someone when a big fart permeates the very space/air you are in. What a turn off. Then, "we can work on it together." What are you talking about? YOU need to work on it.

X's remark how she can fall out of love with him because of all this is telling. She's already tired of him. I like Mike, he has good intentions and is even willing to step in to co-parent X's two boys. But X likes bad-boys. That's really who she is and who she gravitates towards, despite her trying to make a life with Mike. IMO, Mike is vanilla, a flat soda, unbuttered toast. That reminds me of a guy I went out with many years ago. So nice, a hardware engineer, but just - bland. X isn't really in the market for bland.

I almost forgot when Kim referred to Usman as "bro". Grow up. Fifty plus year old women don't go around calling their potential partner, "bro".  He is not your bro, you are looking for a romantic, intimate relationship.

  • LOL 1
  • Love 17
Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...