S13.E10: Locked Out

[For Cereals]

I don’t think Zach is good at expressing himself at all.  Like that awful tree story.  I think he’s frustrated that he sees Michaela is not going to change and doesn’t see how his actions are causing her to overreact and he’s being told to just get over it.  He’s also been very sheltered and has this idea of the ideal marriage like Ryan.  I got a little bit of a red flag in that he’s ALWAYS wanted to be married so badly for someone so young.  When it’s not perfect, he doesn’t know how to respond. That said, I’m here for the next Hurricane Michaela blow up.

I’m liking Gil and Myrla.  She has her “rules” but I see their body language together.  The way she leaned into him, them holding hands, the smiles she gives him, and how she’s able to  handle his digs about her spending (her own hard-earned) money and that when Dr Viviana was interrogating them, the way they turned to each other.  I think she is trying to show him that she does care.

[Empress1]

13 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I think he is saying that - albeit maybe not as concisely and clearly as he could. He's just not physically attracted to her and he is nice enough that he feels bad because she is into him. And I think I understood Dr. Viv to say that it doesn't matter if he isn't sexually attracted to her? I'm not sure I believe that. I don't think that every couple has wild sex every day of their marriage but if there is no attraction, I'm not sure how much time the couple should give it to see if it develops. 

There’s definitely a point past which if you haven’t developed a physical attraction to someone, you’re not going to, particularly if you’re spending a lot of time with them. I don’t think Ryan is going to get there with Brett. I felt bad for her when she was crying that she’d been here before. It does sting.

12 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Jose has shown himself, insecure, narcissistic, controlling and disrespectful, Rachel seems smart enough to know he has shown himself and should believe what she has seen.  The fact that he fell apart over her calling him the wrong name, told her to pack her bags and go (when he has a house to go to, why wouldn't he leave?), how will he handle a real crises? Geeze, short fuse much?

That was abusive and Rachel should leave. If that’s what he does when she accidentally calls him the wrong name in casual conversation (which is so completely not a big deal, especially if she called him by the other J-name of someone she’s on the same show with) I don’t want to see what he does when they have a real problem. I liked the way she stood up for herself.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I don’t think Ryan is going to get there with Brett. I felt bad for her when she was crying that she’d been here before. It does sting.

It does. I've been Brett a number of times and it sucks.

Quote

Jose has shown himself, insecure, narcissistic, controlling and disrespectful,

Also hypocritical. He's all about taking care of his family; he walks around wearing a giant cross around his neck. I don't remember Jesus locking anyone out of the house for calling him Joseph. Zack and Ryan totally called him out on Unfiltered though - where Jose was still trying to wriggle out of his bad behavior.

[kristen111]

40 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

The guys coming down on Jose was the highlight of the episode! They don't buy his bullshit at all!

Zack goes straight in to meltdown the minute Dr. Viv leaves. He is a strange one. I can't, I can't, I tried, I really wanted this, I'm heartbroken. Sob, Sob. Except we don't get to see the tears because his hands are hiding his face and he's wiping his face with his shirt. I've said it before, I think he is just as unhinged as Michaela. 

One rule of this whole "experiment" should be that you don't get to go sleep in  your real home. You stay in the apartment with your spouse until decision day or you don't get paid. Running away every time you feel like it  isn't what this is all about. Why do the experts not implement that? 

Ryan is cool when he's with the guys. I like his dry sense of humor. Then when he's with Brett he freezes and goes back in to dead in the eyes mode. I think he is used to the barbie doll look and Brett is not that. I think she is so pretty,  unfortunately just not his idea of pretty and he can't get past that. 

YEP.  They shouldn’t be allowed to go home, except in Jose’s and Rachel’s case. Ryan wants a model type .. you’re right.  Someone who knocks his socks off.  He’s such a stone face, but not with the guys.

[Yeah No]

54 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Ryan is cool when he's with the guys. I like his dry sense of humor. Then when he's with Brett he freezes and goes back in to dead in the eyes mode. I think he is used to the barbie doll look and Brett is not that. I think she is so pretty,  unfortunately just not his idea of pretty and he can't get past that. 

That could be part of it, but Brett didn't do herself any favors by tipping her hand with him so soon that she really likes him.  Ryan strikes me as one of those guys that doesn't know if he likes a woman unless he feels like he's won her over.  He says he usually falls in love first - yeah probably with women that didn't already tell him they liked him.  Maybe they even acted a little unsure about how they felt.  Otherwise if he already knows they like him it scares his feelings away.  I knew as soon as she admitted she had a crush on him in front of him, that it was the worst move she could make.  Now he's going to feel like he's obligated to like her and that's death to his feelings spontaneously forming.   Them already being married is only intensifying this effect because he's likely to feel somewhat obligated to begin with.  But she just heaped another big ol' pile of pressure on him on top of all of that.  Yikes, I cringe for her.   If she acted like Myrla is with Gil, she might be better off!

Edited September 23, 2021 by Yeah No

[Empress1]

2 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

It does. I've been Brett a number of times and it sucks.

Me too. The “you’re great BUT …” conversations Brett quoted are very real.

4 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I don't remember Jesus locking anyone out of the house for calling him Joseph

This cracked me up.

[bichonblitz]

2 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Ryan strikes me as one of those guys that doesn't know if he likes a woman unless he feels like he's won her over.  He says he usually falls in love first - yeah probably with women that didn't already tell him they liked him.

I agree but how sad this guy is 35, not 20. He should have matured by now. Guess not. He still has a kid like view on relationships. 

[kristen111]

10 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

That could be part of it, but Brett didn't do herself any favors by tipping her hand with him so soon that she really likes him.  Ryan strikes me as one of those guys that doesn't know if he likes a woman unless he feels like he's won her over.  He says he usually falls in love first - yeah probably with women that didn't already tell him they liked him.  Maybe they even acted a little unsure about how they felt.  Otherwise if he already knows they like him it scares his feelings away.  I knew as soon as she admitted she had a crush on him in front of him, that it was the worst move she could make.  Now he's going to feel like he's obligated to like her and that's death to his feelings spontaneously forming.   Them already being married is only intensifying this effect because he's likely to feel somewhat obligated to begin with.  But she just heaped another big ol' pile of pressure on him on top of all of that.  Yikes, I cringe for her.   If she acted like Myrla is with Gil, she might be better off!

Even tho they are already married, it wouldn’t hurt for Brett to play a little hard to get.  Look at Myrla, she’s holding out, and he’s still very interested.

[Lindz]

Zack: There have been no mess ups. There have been no mistakes. You did nothing wrong.

Also Zack: You are your bad behavior.

WHAAAAT THE EFF IS HE SAYING?!! Make it make sense!!!

[Rightside]

1 hour ago, bichonblitz said:

Ryan is cool when he's with the guys. I like his dry sense of humor. Then when he's with Brett he freezes and goes back in to dead in the eyes mode. I think he is used to the barbie doll look and Brett is not that. I think she is so pretty,  unfortunately just not his idea of pretty and he can't get past that. 

At least he is being honest. He's not attracted to her.

[Lindz]

Zack. STOP YELLING & CONTROL YOUR MOVEMENT!!! He doesn't want to hurt her, but keeps saying his issue is her inappropriate behavior, which hurts her. What a sucky cycle. 😅 He's stuck, while she's trying to move forward. She can't change if he won't let her & keeps labeling her an overreactor. He doesn't have a healthy relationship with boundaries & is confusing them with labeling a person as bad.

[Auntie Anxiety]

14 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Zack: There have been no mess ups. There have been no mistakes. You did nothing wrong.

Also Zack: You are your bad behavior.

WHAAAAT THE EFF IS HE SAYING?!! Make it make sense!!!

I find the entire situation sketchy. What exactly are “knee-jerk reactions?” No one ever articulated what those knee-jerk reactions were. It’s Iike there is a piece of the puzzle missing. Why isn’t anyone describing what those knee-jerk reactions are, instead of pussy-footing (can you still use that term?) around it. Why didn’t anyone (Umm, Viv?) say, “Michaela, when you scream and curse and call Zack a fucking liar and start throwing things around, can you understand how it might affect him?” Makes more impact than “You need to stop those knee-jerk reactions.”

[Lindz]

HOLY SH*T! José pulled a Michaela, reacting very inappropriately to something so minor. Wrong name? That's NOTHING!!! WTF?!! He cursed at her & practically kicked her out & had NOTHING to say about that horrendous behavior?!!! I mean, I know guys ignore stuff, but that sh*t's too crazy to ignore. Effin abuser. ON WHAT PLANET IS THAT OKAY?!!! He had no answer. He thinks it's perfectly fine. He totally locked her out on purpose that's why he had that disgusting smirk on his face. Rachel was wrong for not telling him she was walking the producer out & expecting him to leave the door unlocked. That's absurd. She should've left anyway. He should've asked when he didn't see her, but he was too busy being an ass. She pulled the plug too soon if she wanted to continue the convo, especially to bring up sh*t's she's held back. Um. No backtracking. He should've said issa wrap since she wrapped it. He had his opportunity to apologize BEFORE she said it was over, but didn't because it wouldn't be genuine?! It wouldn't be convincing her to stay. That's a dumb way of looking at it. It would've been a step towards resolving the incident and moving forward. But his ego wouldn't let him. If it would've been a lie, then I'm glad he didn't apologize. It showed her what she needed to see to leave, so that's to her benefit. But they love each other. So. There's that. 😉😂

[ByTor]

22 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Zack: There have been no mess ups. There have been no mistakes. You did nothing wrong.

Also Zack: You are your bad behavior.

WHAAAAT THE EFF IS HE SAYING?!! Make it make sense!!!

He's saying her behavior isn't a mistake, it's who she is. If it were a mistake or having done something wrong, it can be fixed; he's saying it's ingrained in her and cannot be fixed.

[Lindz]

Oh lawd! A tantric TEAM?!! The most awkward yet!! That start with the sounds. 😬😱😅😂 The previous couples they had do that aren't together anymore so there's that. Not looking good.

[Retired at last]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

Zack and Ryan totally called him out on Unfiltered though - where Jose was still trying to wriggle out of his bad behavior.

That makes me wish I had ignored my "NO JAMIE OTIS in my house. Ever." rule and watched it.

Also, I am glad that Bao and Johnny are getting along. But, it was very uncomfortable to me to watch their sex assignments. Too much!

I am glad Rachel stood up for herself and she should never trust him again. That said, the experiment is not even half over yet, so we know she goes back there. Hopefully, to sleep in the other bedroom. I am glad the guys are not buying his version of the story at all. Especially when they will compare notes from their wives.

That wives' activity was horrible! I actually am with Myrla that it was a stupid, and potentially dangerous, waste of time and energy. Anyone who has that much anger needs to be in therapy (and NOT Dr. Viv!). My first thought was that Michaela was kept away on purpose, out of fear of what she may do given her energy and a deadly weapon. I don't think she wasn't feeling well.

I felt so sad, again, for Brett. I also wonder if there was more to that tantric crap and if Brett got any attention from Ryan or if it was all directed at his experience. We know she loves to try to make him happy, but it was time to let HIM give her some pleasure.

Myrla was totally serious at the high rating she gave her marriage because SHE was happy. I did enjoy Gil's response and am glad he got his little peck on the lips. But, she wouldn't even let him finish reading the cards that they were supposed to do - just dismissed them and wouldn't even listen. Sorry, Myrla, you don't get to dictate that there will be no divorce. This man deserves to be wanted and appreciated for more than just his patience for not tossing you out the window.

I understand where Michaela is coming from with Zack, but she truly doesn't understand that he sees who she is and I get what he said about her behavior not being a mistake - it IS who she is and she will not get that. That said, he should NOT have gone to his house, again, and stayed there. 

Again, not a pleasant episode to watch. 

If anyone watched Unfiltered and wants to add details, please do! Thanks.

Edited September 23, 2021 by Retired at last

[Lindz]

5 minutes ago, ByTor said:

He's saying her behavior isn't a mistake, it's who she is. If it were a mistake or having done something wrong, it can be fixed; he's saying it's ingrained in her and cannot be fixed.

Why is he continuing & seeing if it changes if he feels that way? He can't have both.

[Auntie Anxiety]

12 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Why is he continuing & seeing if it changes if he feels that way? He can't have both.

💵💵💵💰💰💰He signed a contract, I assume.

[Lindz]

 Bahaha. Myrla thinks a kiss will keep Gil from requesting a divorce. Watch him say, "I meant more than a peck." 😂😂

[ByTor]

1 hour ago, Lindz said:

He had his opportunity to apologize BEFORE she said it was over, but didn't because it wouldn't be genuine?! It wouldn't be convincing her to stay. That's a dumb way of looking at it.

Ridiculously dumb, I had no idea what the hell he was talking about there.

[StatisticalOutlier]

18 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

Myrla is just not attracted to Gil.  It's just that simple.

I'm not so sure.   I'm with @Blissfool, who thinks they're becoming a cute couple.  Maybe it's just editing, but they have very nice moments together.  Like when she was looking at pictures of her shoes on her phone and she asked his opinion on a pair and he said they were okay or whatever, and she said something like, "Come on.  They're fire." 

In another episode thread, @Rae Spellman posted a link to Gil's previous TV experience, and his bodybuilding. 

https://ourteentrends.com/2021/08/married-at-first-sight-spoilers-gil-cuero-is-no-stranger-to-tv/

I'm wondering if he might should look at Myrla's lashes and whatnot as not so different from his bodybuilding.  They're both artificial. 

I'm liking Myrla more and more every episode.  And I'm believing her about the physical thing.  I noticed how she reacted when one of the girls at the rage place hugged her.  She's definitely not a hugger, but she doesn't seem unaffectionate. 

3 hours ago, Retired at last said:

That wives' activity was horrible! I actually am with Myrla that it was a stupid, and potentially dangerous, waste of time and energy. Anyone who has that much anger needs to be in therapy (and NOT Dr. Viv!). My first thought was that Michaela was kept away on purpose, out of fear of what she may do given her energy and a deadly weapon. I don't think she wasn't feeling well.

Oh, I can see the benefit of taking a sledgehammer to a bunch of shit (I feel like I need a cigarette after watching the scene with the copier in Office Space).  And when they said Michaela wasn't there, I thought, "Michaela's the one who needs to be there."

17 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

as a mom …. I’ve called my  children by another child’s name.    It’s not the end of the world.  

My parents constantly called us kids by the wrong name, and when they'd get it wrong, they'd try another, and another (there were five of us), until they hit the right one.  I'm actually recalling some incidents that ended with, "Whoever you are."

I often call Mr. Outlier by the wrong name, usually the name of a friend I've had for 40 years, whose name rhymes with Mr. O's.  As others have pointed out, it was just in casual conversation. 

And, I got really pissed off when Jose was telling the guys his version of what happened, and then reminded them that she'd cheated before.  One of the heroes actually said, "You think she's sleeping with someone else right now?"  And Jose had to admit he didn't.  Yet he brought it up.   Dick.

17 hours ago, Blissfool said:

The other men tried to make him feel better by making excuses such as "J-names" or "Johnny-Jose kinda sound alike." Probably Rachel told Brett during their little talk and then Brett went home and told Ryan like a good wife does.

Actually, probably on Unfiltered, Ryan said he found out in a group conversation with him, Brett, Rachel, and one or two other women.  I liked that he was the only man in this little hen party. 

8 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Did we ever find out where Rachel spent the night when she was locked out?

Why would production let her stay there, the producer that was talking to them in the kitchen should have told Rachel to pack a bag and come with her, why wasn't Rachel cared for by production, you see a man flying off the handle and yelling at his wife not even caring that it is being filmed, you step in. 

Rachel said she walked the producer out, I assume to her car.  They stayed out there talking for a while, and when Rachel came back, that's when she found out she was locked out.  Jose locked the door during the time Rachel was out talking to the producer.  (Which in his recounting to the guys, he was talking about 3:00 a.m., but according to what we saw on the show, she came back a little after 1:00.  And I wanted to punch him in the nose when he said, "I secure my property.")

Anyway, I'm sure the producer asked Rachel what she wanted to do.

5 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I liked the way she stood up for herself.

Me, too.  I was impressed, and I'm sure that person wouldn't have appreciated the producer, the night before, forcing her to pack a bag and come with her.  I also liked that she credited her parents with giving her guidance on how she can expect to be treated.  She deserves better than Jose, or certainly the Jose we saw in this episode.

6 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

I think he is used to the barbie doll look and Brett is not that. I think she is so pretty,  unfortunately just not his idea of pretty and he can't get past that. 

I remember Pastor Cal saying that Ryan likes Instagram models, but that Cal thinks that's not what he really wants.  Which is kind of a good point--the choice could be (1) Instagram model, or (2) marriage.  But I think the usual way to get to a resolution is to date a few non-Instagram models and find out they're not all that bad, and eventually find one you're attracted to and want to marry.  I don't think being assigned a non-Instagram model to marry is a sound path, at least until you've tried a few out.

18 hours ago, ByTor said:

True, but in the honeymoon phase I don't find it all that unrealistic.

I know that arranged marriages can work, but I think I'd be resentful if I were in a relationship that didn't experience the "can't keep my hands off you" phase.  It's fun!  And in low times, it can be a reminder.

 

Edited September 23, 2021 by StatisticalOutlier
insert the link, dummy

[Spectator]

2 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

My parents constantly called us kids by the wrong name, and when they'd get it wrong, they'd try another, and another (there were five of us), until they hit the right one.  I'm actually recalling some incidents that ended with, "Whoever you are."

 

Haaa! This!!! My parents did the same thing. And my mom would occasionally even throw the dogs name into the list! 

This was a totally forgivable offense in my book…most certainly not lockout worthy! Good lord

[Rebky]

16 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

He’s suffering from Short Man Syndrome. The above are some of the symptoms.

Oh the stories I could tell about the rage of the Short Man Syndrome. The sawed-off troll I was with makes Jose look like a Boy Scout. It took an EPO (which he violated) and jail time to rid me of that psycho.  I did not date for years after that. Never again!!!

[Spectator]

6 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I got really pissed off when Jose was telling the guys his version of what happened, and then reminded them that she'd cheated before. 

Yep. Same. Jose told Rachel to “get out” or “go” multiple times during their kitchen conversation when the producer was present, but when retelling the story he simply said Rachel called him by another man’s name and then “took off” or “disappeared”, so he locked the door (because he “always secures his property at the end of the day” as he so self-righteously told her…..ughhhhhhhhh) and ‘accidentally’ dead bolted it (?!?!). He completely failed to mention that he had actually told Rachel to leave, or that the producer had been there just before she “disappeared” (and that she might not have actually disappeared, but might have just been walking the producer out). Ughhh ughhhh ughhhhhhhh.

Also, on unfiltered Jose cavalierly recounted that this all happened at “1, 2 or 3 am”.  (The cameras showed her knocking on the other couple’s doors a bit after 1am, so at least the producers and the viewers knew what time it was!). The fact that he didn’t even know what time this all went down speaks volumes about his lack of concern for his wife. I would like to think that most men, no matter how angry they might be in the moment, would be extremely worried and hyper focused on the time if their spouses weren’t home safe and sound at a late hour. Yet Jose wasn’t even aware. 

The jig is up Jose…you have revealed your true self. Run Rachel, run. 

[Boo Boo]

19 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Maybe! They're all in the same building.

Cannot stand Ryan. Can he just admit that he is not physically attracted to Brett, and that that's okay? No "feeling" is going to come at some vague future time. 

Cannot stand Zack. He is "one and done" with Michaela. She needs to start rejecting him majorly. As in, total polite indifference. [See: Myrla] As in, find a "legit" reason to spend a night elsewhere. [See: Zack]

Is there a *Live Chat*?

Zack is emotionally stunted, impossible to deal with. "We're two completely different people! You don't understand! I really wanted this!"

Like Michaela didn't want a successful  match? 

Ryan is trying to be as kind as he can.  I think it's less about the physical attraction though and more about how she annoys him. She's not on the screen that much and I find her annoying -- I think she's the type that always wants to talk about feelings to the point she gets the "You're a great girl, but..."  It's easier to say "not my type" than "her personality grates."  You can become physically attracted to someone after you get to know them, but if the personality is irritating to you, you're not likely to grow with that person.

On Zack, if I had COVID-19 and my new bride was pissed b/c I quarantined, then lost her fucking mind when I texted about where I went, I'd be one and done too.  He may be emotionally stunted, but her nickname is Hurricane and she's shown that if she is earned her nickname, is still living up to it and therefore, she is not learning.  He should be out.  

 

Edited September 23, 2021 by Boo Boo

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Even tho they are already married, it wouldn’t hurt for Brett to play a little hard to get.  Look at Myrla, she’s holding out, and he’s still very interested.

Myrla knows what she's doing.  She correctly sensed that she was pushing it by continuing to resist his desire for a kiss.  OK it was a peck but it was a step in the right direction and signal to him that she is not BSing about being genuinely interested in him.

[Crashcourse]

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I'm not so sure.   I'm with @Blissfool, who thinks they're becoming a cute couple.  Maybe it's just editing, but they have very nice moments together.  Like when she was looking at pictures of her shoes on her phone and she asked his opinion on a pair and he said they were okay or whatever, and she said something like, "Come on.  They're fire." 

I think Myrla is just playing along until Decision Day--just like Gil.  JMHO

[Allison1]

16 hours ago, spunky said:

His behavior was very manipulative.

Apparently she did.

DH has done that several times over the years (an employee at work).  I never thought twice about it.

I find Jose increasingly scary.

 

[Yeah No]

15 hours ago, Adeejay said:

So Rachel called Jose "Johnny".  Big freaking deal!  It's one thing to call out a former lover's name in the heat of passion, but quite another when you are in a group setting and the name of the person you accidentally calls them is someone sitting right there.  When the couples were on the catamaran and Rachel confessed to cheating on a former boyfriend, based on the look on Jose's face, I knew he was going to hold it against her.  

I am convinced now that José was looking for a reason to sabotage their relationship.  If those two things didn't happen he would latch onto some other perceived fault.  This "other man" stuff sets him off because it feeds into his insecurity.  Nothing she could say or do afterward would help.  He is making mountains out of molehills, something Johnny was doing but seems to have stopped.  He is scared to death that this might work out and he has to find some reason to bail.  He woke up after the honeymoon and thought to himself that things were too perfect, that she must be some kind of monster deep down.  So he was just waiting for something to "prove" it.  Then he could reject her before he thinks she is going to reject him.  I mean, he's that insecure that he's convinced that she is going to reject him.  So he MAKES it happen!

Meanwhile it doesn't even matter to him that the cheating thing was a long time ago.  If it meant anything she never would have admitted it so casually.  Her honesty should have shown him that it was not who she is today.  But I am sure that nothing she could say to convince him of that would work because he's holding a hammer and looking for a nail.

Same thing for Rachel saying "Johnny".  First of all, she could have been thinking of Johnny from the show.  Does José even know if she ever had any relationship with a guy with that name?  I could see being a little curious and quizzical about it but to fly off in such an ugly, abusive manner shows that he's hiding a lot of anger and insecurity that is not about Rachel at all.  And to get upset with her for not bringing up how she finds him controlling (which he is) is another tactic to try to make this all about her and not him.  He is not willing to take any responsibility for any of this.  What a total asshole he has turned out to be!  And I'm sorry but if he suddenly wakes up I would be very skeptical about accepting any sort of apology if I were Rachel.  Again, leopards don't change their spots that easily.

[Cancun]

I loved what Ryan shared on Unfiltered regarding the male tantric expert’s…um…wardrobe malfunction!! I was dying laughing when he shared the detail of what was exposed throughout their session - the images clearly landed on the cutting room floor.  It made putting up with JO for 30 minutes worthwhile.

Edited September 23, 2021 by Cancun

[Boo Boo]

4 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Even tho they are already married, it wouldn’t hurt for Brett to play a little hard to get.  Look at Myrla, she’s holding out, and he’s still very interested.

I agree.

I feel like Brett as the kind of girl that pretends she won't put up with anything and then begs the man she just said she wouldn't put up with to stay.

I think her desperation and insecurity are written on her face and insecurity isn't sexy.  

And who knows what she did on that flight to the honeymoon that threw him for a loop. I am picturing massive tears over nothing.

She may not be his type, but a lot of men would find her boobs their type.  I think it's the personality that's made her not his type.  

EDIT:  Not to mention, If I were her, I would've held off from saying that "you're a great girl, but..." happens to her all too often.  She's sending the message that there's something wrong with her and he is just one of many.

Edited September 23, 2021 by Boo Boo

[Crashcourse]

I think Jose hasn't gotten over Rachel telling him on their wedding day that it wasn't about looks, but personality.  He was stung, and now her calling him by another man's name has just added fuel to the fire.  Rachel needs to realize that this is just the beginning of his seething, butt hurt behavior and this won't be the last time she gets locked out of their house.  She needs to bounce.  

[Boo Boo]

22 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I am convinced now that José was looking for a reason to sabotage their relationship.  If those two things didn't happen he would latch onto some other perceived fault.  This "other man" stuff sets him off because it feeds into his insecurity.  Nothing she could say or do afterward would help.  He is making mountains out of molehills, something Johnny was doing but seems to have stopped.  He is scared to death that this might work out and he has to find some reason to bail.  He woke up after the honeymoon and thought to himself that things were too perfect, that she must be some kind of monster deep down.  So he was just waiting for something to "prove" it.  Then he could reject her before he thinks she is going to reject him.  I mean, he's that insecure that he's convinced that she is going to reject him.  So he MAKES it happen!

Meanwhile it doesn't even matter to him that the cheating thing was a long time ago.  If it meant anything she never would have admitted it so casually.  Her honesty should have shown him that it was not who she is today.  But I am sure that nothing she could say to convince him of that would work because he's holding a hammer and looking for a nail.

Same thing for Rachel saying "Johnny".  First of all, she could have been thinking of Johnny from the show.  Does José even know if she ever had any relationship with a guy with that name?  I could see being a little curious and quizzical about it but to fly off in such an ugly, abusive manner shows that he's hiding a lot of anger and insecurity that is not about Rachel at all.  And to get upset with her for not bringing up how she finds him controlling (which he is) is another tactic to try to make this all about her and not him.  He is not willing to take any responsibility for any of this.  What a total asshole he has turned out to be!  And I'm sorry but if he suddenly wakes up I would be very skeptical about accepting any sort of apology if I were Rachel.  Again, leopards don't change their spots that easily.

Maybe now he can tell his family:  "I tried to be married, it doesn't work so now I'm going to be a confirmed bachelor all my life..."  

Also, I have called my boyfriend my dog's name, I've called my daughter her cousin's name.  Sometimes we just aren't thinking.  I can't imagine blowing my stack that hard on someone calling me someone else's name.  I can understand that if she's cheated before why he would be wary, but to completely lose his mind?

And really, no surprise.  I never thought these two were as into each other as they portrayed themselves to be.  If they really were that into each other, that argument would've been over in an hour. 

[suzeecat]

1 hour ago, Spectator said:

The jig is up Jose…you have revealed your true self. Run Rachel, run. 

You really get to know someone when you have a fight with them.  The fact that he so easily flipped and told her to get out was chilling.  This behavior is SO MUCH more unacceptable than her calling him by a different name.  That's some cold-hearted shit right there.  I feel bad for Rachel if she goes back to him. 

[Rightside]

20 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I think Myrla is just playing along until Decision Day--just like Gil.  JMHO

Yep, they are Craiglist roommates at best!

Edited September 24, 2021 by Rightside

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 hour ago, Spectator said:

Also, on unfiltered Jose cavalierly recounted that this all happened at “1, 2 or 3 am”.  (The cameras showed her knocking on the other couple’s doors a bit after 1am, so at least the producers and the viewers knew what time it was!). The fact that he didn’t even know what time this all went down speaks volumes about his lack of concern for his wife. I would like to think that most men, no matter how angry they might be in the moment, would be extremely worried and hyper focused on the time if their spouses weren’t home safe and sound at a late hour. Yet Jose wasn’t even aware.

I think he was aware, but having her not come home until 3:00 a.m. made him sound better than having her come home not long after she went out with the producer (presumably at about 1:00 a.m.)   

Of course, that's assuming that the show was telling the truth when it put the times on the scenes of Rachel knocking on the doors.  Come to think of it--they showed Jose locking the door.  Did they put the time on that?

[cinsays]

22 minutes ago, suzeecat said:

You really get to know someone when you have a fight with them.  The fact that he so easily flipped and told her to get out was chilling.  This behavior is SO MUCH more unacceptable than her calling him by a different name.  That's some cold-hearted shit right there.  I feel bad for Rachel if she goes back to him. 

and, since he loves his wonderful house so much, why didn't he leave instead of telling her to go???

 

[Auntie Anxiety]

There is no way in hell that Michaela changes her behavior in the long term. She can exhibit this calm demeanor for a short time, but she can’t sustain it. Her sisters call her Hurricane K for a reason. Zack wants to have a marriage like his parents have, which appeared to be respectful, understanding and loving. I’m still thinking she has borderline personality disorder. The drama never stops with BPD.

[greeneyedscorpio]

6 hours ago, kristen111 said:

I agree with everything you said.  She is acting this way now, when she should be putting her best foot forward.  Wait, down the road she will get worse.  A leopard doesn’t change its spots.  Her family warned him.

I have to wonder that if her family hadn't told him about "Hurricane Kay", would he be second-guessing his own instincts here?  I think he might.  Them telling him that was a huge favor, even if it was done "jokingly".  

[bichonblitz]

I think Gil and Rachel would have made a great match.

Myrla and Ryan maybe. 

Bao and Johnny remains to be seen. 

Jose, Zack and Michaela no match with anybody ever. They have too much work yet to do on themselves. 

Brett deserves better than any of them. She's a sweetie. Wears her heart on her sleeve. Doesn't know how to be anybody but herself. She can't pretend. That's a beautiful quality to have. I hope she finds a great guy but Ryan isn't it. 

 

[psychoticstate]

Lord, this week was messy.

I was married to a Jose and Rachel needs to get her things and peace out.  If Jose is doing this a month in while being filmed and surrounded by production, he's got major anger issues.  What's going to happen should you forget to pay a bill or make dinner or the kids wake him up in the middle of the night?  I don't want to see Rachel on an episode of 20/20, Dateline or 48 Hours.  

I did love that Jose was totally read by the guys during the golf outing.  They clearly knew he wasn't telling the whole story.  I'm also glad to see they all seemed to believe that Rachel calling him a different name (and another "J" name) was not that big of a deal (it's not, especially given the circumstances.)  

I think Zach was halfway out during the non-honeymoon honeymoon.   Michaela ran back to Houston, which would have made me feel a certain way (and not a good one).  I get that Zach had Covid but she could have stayed and at least let him know she was there if he needed her.  It seemed very selfish to go back to Houston (and still seems so to me.)  And the morning meltdown where she called him a mother-effing liar and/or whatever else she said?  Kind of like Jose, no?  I'd be out.  Again, to have this level of reaction and during the so-called honeymoon period is a major red flag.  

I agree with the poster upthread who mentioned that a tantric sex class for someone who isn't feeling attraction to his partner may not be the best move.  Personally, I think Ryan could change his feelings about Brett if she went outside her comfort zone and went two-stepping with him or something like that.  She's not his type but I think he also put a wall up when he saw that she wasn't into country pursuits like he is and seems freaked out/afraid by lots of things.  (Of course I also initially liked Harry and Meghan as a couple so it shows you that my feelings are clearly skewered and suspect.)  So while I will laugh and laugh when Harry and Meghan do eventually divorce, I want for Brett and Ryan to work out.

I think Bao and Johnny are cute and have a good chance if they deadbolt the door on the experts.  See Jose for assistance with deadbolts.  

From the first episode or so, I thought Myrla and Gil were going to be the obvious train wreck (see disclaimer above about my feelings being suspect and skewered) but I actually think they are cute and see a possibility.  Gil is very patient and clearly devoted to making it work.  Myrla is lucky that she was paired with him.  At least she finally admitted that she has an issue with intimacy - he seems like the perfect (MAFS) partner for her in that regard. 

Right now, I feel like the only couples that truly have a fighting chance are Johnny and Bao and Gil and Myrla.   Ryan isn't feeling it, Zach is fearful that Michaela is going to kill him in his sleep, and Jose is probably on an FBI wanted poster somewhere.  

Edited September 23, 2021 by psychoticstate

[bichonblitz]

Soooo did nobody open the door for Rachel? Do any of them stay in those apartments or do they all live separately and go there for filming only? Hmmmmm are we being duped? I think there is so much more going on off camera than we know. Or maybe I should say so much less. 

[athousandclowns]

I’ve searched the best I can,  is there a forum for Halfway Through  Houston with Kevin Frazier?  Would like to know what everyone thinks because he shows clips  of the  season   I’m amazed anyone  of these couples make it to decision day. I saw a mention of life chat which I also can’t find. 
thanks if someone could lead me in right direction. The scariest creepiest thing I’ve seen is Jose and that sardonic grin while she’s saying she’s going to pack and leave.
 I was screened 30 years ago for a floral job in an upscale grocery store in a resort area more throughly than these bozos have  . 

[Emma Snyder]

25 minutes ago, athousandclowns said:

 is there a forum for Halfway Through  Houston with Kevin Frazier?

Made one! It's right here!!

[spunky]

2 hours ago, Allison1 said:

DH has done that several times over the years (an employee at work).  I never thought twice about it.

I find Jose increasingly scary.

 

What makes it more ridiculous is that she called him "Johnny". He's an insecure jerk.

[Adeejay]

1 hour ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

There is no way in hell that Michaela changes her behavior in the long term. She can exhibit this calm demeanor for a short time, but she can’t sustain it.

Exactly.  Zack most likely took a Psychology class or two at Duke.  I believe what he was trying to articulate is the difference between Personality trait and Character trait.  Personality traits are consistently demonstrated despite changing circumstances or environment. They define habitual patterns of behavior, thought and emotion, they provide a foundation for predicting behavior.  Characteristic traits, on the other hand, are about the way we conduct ourselves; what we say and do, and how we say and do it. Personality traits don’t change over time, but we can alter characteristic traits to a degree.  I believe the problem Zack has with Michaela is her personality.  This is who she is and he is afraid.

[pdlinda]

21 minutes ago, athousandclowns said:

The scariest creepiest thing I’ve seen is Jose and that sardonic grin while she’s saying she’s going to pack and leave

And do you know what I find the SCARIEST thing about Jose????  That, apparently, he has a very responsible position at NASA?????  Talk about SCREENING!!

I spent many years (too many😄)  working with criminal defendants pretrial and I literally CRINGED when he started with his flagrant ABUSE of Rachel!  As you mention,  the sardonic grin, the fierce glaring stare and the actual kicking her out of he apt are all signs of domestic violence that most people understand is cyclical and works in a pattern!! 

I saw too many serious criminal cases with terrified victims cross my case load to do anything other than be appalled at Jose being anywhere NEAR a prospective mate, least of all on TV.

I simply cannot fathom how he can return (or continue) to his professional career at NASA after the incident he precipitated on MAFS.  He needs immediate professional help (as does Michaela).  However, in Michaela's case her profession doesn't match the scrutiny we assume our highly secure Federal agencies have in choosing employees!

[ByTor]

8 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

the sardonic grin, the fierce glaring stare and the actual kicking her out of he apt are all signs of domestic violence that most people understand is cyclical and works in a pattern!!

Not to mention that he started calmly eating as he was berating her. THAT was probably what I found creepiest.

[pdlinda]

9 minutes ago, ByTor said:

Not to mention that he started calmly eating as he was berating her. THAT was probably what I found creepiest.

Correct!  I'd love to see his personnel file at NASA!!

[bichonblitz]

58 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

I did love that Jose was totally read by the guys during the golf outing.  They clearly knew he wasn't telling the whole story.  I'm also glad to see they all seemed to believe that Rachel calling him a different name (and another "J" name) was not that big of a deal (it's not, especially given the circumstances.)  

I also loved how each of them in their confessional said that separately. They all said there must be more to the story because it doesn't make sense to hear Jose tell it. I just love it when someone is lying, yet the truth is all on tape! Jose must have forgotten he was being filmed. Busted!!