S12.E10: Third Week's a Charm

[DrewPaul2010]

3 hours ago, nell said:

Does anyone else feel like a total sucker for watching this season?

Yo!  Chris has made my skin crawl since moment one - 3-4 thousand dollars a month for takeout?  New Benz for Chicago?  Not likely:  https://screenrant.com/married-first-sight-chris-williams-ii-evicted-business/  You know what I'm saying?  Cannot stand to watch the two of them anymore - sacrilege and blasphemy, you two.

Jake has had a sour attitude from the start; that in itself is really unappealing.  I can't totally blame Haley - I could never kiss a guy I wasn't attracted to.  It didn't have to be immediate attraction, but it had to get there, and if I could kiss him, well...happy endings. 

My original excitement for the show is waning as I see mostly different names but the same situations. Although Chris is making a name for himself we've seen other bad actors on the show, male and female. In general we see couples have some minor issues but really like and love each other. Then there are the he or she isn't attracted to her or him scenarios. Those are usually painful we always feel for the one rejected because of looks. Then there are strange people like Chris and Paige. Paige show some self-respect. 

[LuvMyShows]

On 3/17/2021 at 8:16 PM, Mindthinkr said:

That sounds good. Think I’ll join you. 

Curse you, Mindthinkr.  When I read your comment, I was put in mind of the lyrics "Think I'll go for a walk outside now, the summer sun's calling my name"...and for those whose way-back machine is busted, that's from the "classic" Brady Bunch song called It's a Sunshine Day.  You're welcome. 

 

[Mindthinkr]

5 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

Curse you, Mindthinkr. 

I apologize 

[Dena0033]

4 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

Curse you, Mindthinkr.  When I read your comment, I was put in mind of the lyrics "Think I'll go for a walk outside now, the summer sun's calling my name"...and for those whose way-back machine is busted, that's from the "classic" Brady Bunch song called It's a Sunshine Day.  You're welcome. 

 

He's a callin' me. I just can't stay inside all day, I gotta get out get me some of those ray-ay-ays!" 

[Auntie Anxiety]

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

The fast kids were giving/receiving  oral in middle school...I heard them talking about they may have herpes in their mouth and throat...you learn about life listening on the PE bleachers....

Thus the rise of mouth and throat cancer.

[LuvMyShows]

Just now, Dena0033 said:

He's a callin' me. I just can't stay inside all day, I gotta get out get me some of those ray-ay-ays!" 

Groovy and outta sight!

[Devvie]

21 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Haley admitted that she has tried but just can't connect with this guy.  He gives her smirky, dismissive one word answers to things that should be conversation starters.  She feels cut off at the pass at every turn with him.  Every time things seem to be going in the right direction he throws more pressure on her about her attraction to him.  Just STOP IT already, you're only sabotaging yourself.  He is acting like a 14 year old, not a guy pushing 40.  He has no clue how to handle a woman.  

Brilliant.  He just can't stop himself.  I think it's more than women - I'm guessing people at work find him difficult or odd.  One of those guys whose desk is covered with their Pez collection or simply bare. . .  and brings fun work conversations to a screeching halt.  I want to go back and watch what his friends say pre-wedding about him. 

There is NO way Chris bought a "Benz".  He lost his Subway because he never made payments.  I imagine that huge credit ding would make him not qualify for financing.  And, I doubt he has the $33K in cash for the "starter" Mercedes.  I also looked and Georgia is not a community property state so Paige isn't on the hook if it were true.  Those two and their Bible study.  Eye Roll.  I'm thinking Chris hollowed out his bible to keep condoms in it... oh, wait., he doesn't wear condoms.  Paige?  What happened to you?  Who told you all these platitudes about "wifely duty" and "not new to it, I'm true to it"???  Who told you, you didn't deserve a good man?  Paige needs to go live somewhere else for a while and quit on everyone who got her to this sad place.   

Clara and Ryan. Maybe if she'd not given him her entire sexual history he'd have consummated things.  I'm old but before I was married I waited about 3 months before having sex with a guy.  And, I would NEVER do a "tell all"!  And I don't want to hear his either!  Clara said early on that she didn't like being forced to go to church  - she acts like she's still rebelling and I think this troubles Ryan.  Having a healthy attitude about sex doesn't mean blabbing about it.  Clara keep some secrets.

Virginia and Erik... I know lots of people who are happy together and have differing opinions.  In one case a prosecutor is married to a defense attorney - they agree to disagree.  Also, people change their opinions as life gives them life.  Having kids, buying a house, traveling, job failures or successes, family illness and deaths - all of that impacts your politics and religious beliefs.  But I do think that Erik - as the older of the two - should realize some of these things at this point in life and not simply shut his mind.  (Especially surprising because he does travel the world and usually that is a very mind opening experience.)

[Alexander Pope]

On 3/17/2021 at 6:16 PM, Silver Bells said:

OMG, Clara hasn’t had sex in three weeks !   Call the Cops.  The more she complains about it, the more he won’t do it.  

to be more precise, she hasn't had intercourse in three weeks.  If she is enjoying what they are doing, then I don't get why she is fetishizing THE ACT.

[ECM1231]

9 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

The attraction meter is still at -1000 Bazillion.

It soared to -999 Bazillion when he tried on the blue checkered shirt but that was fleeting...

I'm dying. 🤣 Brilliant, @humbleopinion. Comedy gold!

 Now, I feel awful b/c like @Silver Bells and @gonecrackers, I'm team Jake.

[humbleopinion]

8 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

I'm dying. 🤣 Brilliant, @humbleopinion. Comedy gold!

 Now, I feel awful b/c like @Silver Bells and @gonecrackers, I'm team Jake.

I’m Team Get a Laugh....

 If I were an inanimate object ...I’d be a pair of flip flops...

Edited March 19, 2021 by humbleopinion

[JapMo]

I'm really surprised at how many people on this show have been cheated on.  Hailey, Jake, Eric...I think Clara.   I was especially shocked to hear Eric say every single person he's dated has cheated on him.  

[Hip-to-be-Square]

I hate how this show romanticizes arranged marriages; it can work sometimes, but I've dated two men whose parents were in arranged marriages and their parents had very toxic relationships with a lot of resentment and abuse.  If someone lives in a society that generally gives you the autonomy to choose a partner on your own that matches you on multiple levels of compatibility, why rid yourself of that opportunity by going on the show?!  I'm in my 30's and single and I'd much rather be a "spinster" and live my life regardless of if I find a husband or not than have "experts" choose my husband out of a limited lineup of very desperate and impatient men.  

[Alexander Pope]

10 hours ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

The clips they showed of Haley "doing all the work" was her asking him if he wanted a beer, then him saying no and her saying, "you're going to make me drink alone?"  (He did end up sitting down and drinking a beer with her).  The other clip was her giving him new clothes bc she hates his.  Cut to her crying about how much work she's put into the marriage.  🙄

I also thought Haley's repeating to Dr. V during the counseling session that she got married to find someone who "fit into her lifestyle" was a major red flag.

[Rae Spellman]

 

3 hours ago, Kira53 said:

He's not ready to have sex with someone who's never had an intimate connection in having sex and you call him a control freak?Please explain your viewpoint because I'm really confused. I've never had a man dominate me with power and control by not having sex with me.

YMMV.  But, Ryan seems fairly image conscious and controlling. The blindfold on the wedding day. Telling Clara she needs to speak less. Based on what he's told us about his background he could just be scared. Uncomfortable in his own skin. He's likely controlled himself a bunch, is aware of the cameras, and could be worried about whether or not Clara has stereotypical expectations of him that he won't be able to meet.

Ryan doesn't owe it to Clara to have intercourse with her three weeks into their relationship. Or ever. If he's having anal sex, oral sex, and/or anilingus with Clara while withholding more generic intercourse, Clara might perceive it to be a tad confusing if not controlling. Another woman, who isn't a Bible college drop out might be totally fine with some dude that's pushing thirty only being open to doing to things that he can pretend aren't sex.

If he's cautious because he's worried that she's been around the block too many times, it might be better if he stops doing the other stuff and tells her his concerns. Mr. I've never told a woman I love her likely found plenty wrong with the women he's dated before Clara. Even the ones who ate fewer donuts, were more chaste, quieter, and purpose-driven.

Edited March 19, 2021 by Rae Spellman
forgot that controlling blindfold thing

[Empress1]

9 hours ago, JapMo said:

I'm really surprised at how many people on this show have been cheated on.  Hailey, Jake, Eric...I think Clara.   I was especially shocked to hear Eric say every single person he's dated has cheated on him.  

I didn't really realize how common cheating was until I got on dating apps. There are so many married or taken men on those apps - and I know they're married or taken because they don't even try to hide it. They're not lying that they're single (though those folks are out here too), it's just "I'm married and bored, looking for some fun" or whatever. I don't date women so I don't see those profiles but I'm sure women do it too, and I know one woman personally who has cheated on her husband.

9 hours ago, Alexander Pope said:

I also thought Haley's repeating to Dr. V during the counseling session that she got married to find someone who "fit into her lifestyle" was a major red flag.

Me too. Reminded me of last season's Olivia. The spouses are their own people with their own interests and lives; it's unreasonable to get married and think your spouse is just going to do what you want them to do and that you won't have to adapt at all.

[Boo Boo]

10 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

I hate how this show romanticizes arranged marriages; it can work sometimes, but I've dated two men whose parents were in arranged marriages and their parents had very toxic relationships with a lot of resentment and abuse.  If someone lives in a society that generally gives you the autonomy to choose a partner on your own that matches you on multiple levels of compatibility, why rid yourself of that opportunity by going on the show?!  I'm in my 30's and single and I'd much rather be a "spinster" and live my life regardless of if I find a husband or not than have "experts" choose my husband out of a limited lineup of very desperate and impatient men.  

If any of them REALLY wanted to get married that badly, they can do an arranged marriage off TV.  But the didn't.  The lure of being famous.  

The couples that make it parlay their happiness into Couples Cam or whatever other spinoff there is and make $$.  

Everyone whose been on the show has their IG account followers skyrocket.

 

Edited March 19, 2021 by Boo Boo

[Hangin Out]

19 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

He just knows that she isn't attracted to him, will never be attracted to him.  I'm sure it's pretty devastating especially when they've had sex and it was apparent that it made it worse, not better.

I feel for both.  It must suck to have been paired with someone who you don't mesh with especially when the "experts" really aren't interested in putting together compatible people.

They belonged on a “match” site.  Meet in the mall for coffee ( er, a drink) and talk with the person for an hour.  Get a feel of what they are like.  Then decide.  But, this is a show so ...

[cinsays]

11 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

I hate how this show romanticizes arranged marriages; it can work sometimes, but I've dated two men whose parents were in arranged marriages and their parents had very toxic relationships with a lot of resentment and abuse.  If someone lives in a society that generally gives you the autonomy to choose a partner on your own that matches you on multiple levels of compatibility, why rid yourself of that opportunity by going on the show?!  I'm in my 30's and single and I'd much rather be a "spinster" and live my life regardless of if I find a husband or not than have "experts" choose my husband out of a limited lineup of very desperate and impatient men.  

But don't most arranged marriages occur because the families know each other and are trying for a good match? And not just looking for tv ratings by purposely mismatching people.

[Hangin Out]

I watched the Australia show last night on Lifetime.  It was great.  The experts are there along the whole way and talk with them, how it going, what’s bothering them, etc.  They help them out, not like this show who show up and tell them to do stupid things.

[Hangin Out]

14 minutes ago, cinsays said:

But don't most arranged marriages occur because the families know each other and are trying for a good match? And not just looking for tv ratings by purposely mismatching people.

My parents had an arranged marriage from the neighbors in Europe.  It lasted over 50 years, but my Mother was always unhappy even tho my Father as a great man.  She told me she had a boyfriend in Europe before the marriage and always thought about him through out the marriage. I felt very bad for them.  It’s hard to learn to stay together.  I made sure I married for love.

[Hip-to-be-Square]

1 hour ago, cinsays said:

But don't most arranged marriages occur because the families know each other and are trying for a good match? And not just looking for tv ratings by purposely mismatching people.

In my different exes cases, their parents lived in small villages in Asia before they emigrated to America through sponsorship and their mothers were sold to their dad's families without any thought of compatibility in mind.  I think a lot of the posters are right about how people go on this show for internet fame and money.  i don't have any social media accounts except for this forum, so I always forget about how there are influencers and money opportunities that come from this show.  

[Hangin Out]

On 3/17/2021 at 9:36 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

Ryan doesn't know if he wants a wife who views sex as simply an animal physical activity. 

Maybe if she had just shut her mouth for five seconds about sex, he would have done the deed already.  When it came to intimacy, I always let him make the first move .. not me.  I would be devastated if I was refused.  Now, if they have sex, the whole world will want to know and Ryan will feel like a jerk.  I would be very surprised if they stay together.  He’s embarrassed already.  Shut up Clara and calm down.   It’s only been three weeks.  Have some donuts.

[Hangin Out]

7 minutes ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

In my different exes cases, their parents lived in small villages in Asia before they emigrated to America through sponsorship and their mothers were sold to their dad's families without any thought of compatibility in mind.  I think a lot of the posters are right about how people go on this show for internet fame and money.  i don't have any social media accounts except for this forum, so I always forget about how there are influencers and money opportunities that come from this show.  

[humbleopinion]

3 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Me too. Reminded me of last season's Olivia. The spouses are their own people with their own interests and lives; it's unreasonable to get married and think your spouse is just going to do what you want them to do and that you won't have to adapt at all.

At least Brett didn’t make Olivia’s skin crawl.

Bolivia had different philosophies about money. They couldn’t see each other’s side.
Mr. Spend thrift with every penny accounted for versus Ms. Money flowing through her fingers like water...

The spy cameras showed them cuddling on the couch watching Teevee.

The physical attraction was there but cooler heads prevailed and they divorced because money was a BIG issue with them both.

Haley always looks like her leg is chained to the table when the film crew has them eating together.

Jake sabotages any conversations or discussions with smart alec off the wall comments that exasperate Haley and the film crew trying to capture content for their scripted segments. Just read the damn cue cards Jake!

[Ilovepie]

18 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Battery Operated Boyfriend...

Buy online for privacy or your local Naughty Shop.

Pocket Rockets has a good reputation for their small but mighty motors.....so I've heard......

Tip: take out the batteries out of your PR when you pack it in a suitcase so it doesn't accidentally turn on while in flight 

Walmart sells vibrators under Sexual Wellness, try cordless models.

Or go follow Elizabeth or Jamie Otis on Instagram - they are hawking them with coupon codes!

[glitterpussy]

16 hours ago, JapMo said:

 I was especially shocked to hear Eric say every single person he's dated has cheated on him.  

This doesn't surprise me because he's a controlling, smothering asshole. He's the type who would falsely accuse you of cheating so much, that you actually decide to go ahead and do it!

I can't understand these grown-ass adults that still believe that because something happened in their previous relationships, that justifies expecting a new partner to cater to their irrational issues.  How about you work on yourself, Eric, instead of forbidding your wife to have friendships?  That just wouldn't occur to him.  VA is a hot mess for sure, but she doesn't deserve that.  He will definietly go through you phone if he gets that pwd, girl. She can't even *like* someone's social media posts if they've previously dated? Absurd.

[JocelynCavanaugh]

Chris and Paige should not be on this show. It's insulting that the producers keep making us sit through this crap. The only thing I got out of their segments was being reminded that there is a funny cultural quirk where white Americans tend to call a Mercedes-Benz a Mercedes, and black Americans are more likely to call it a Benz. One of my best friends growing up came from a "Benz" family, which is how I first noticed. I thought she sounded so cool and cazh' just being like, "my mom is picking me up in the green Benz." Like, NBD, just the green luxury sedan.

On 3/17/2021 at 11:52 PM, Yeah No said:

I find it interesting that we have not seen this more on other seasons.  It's almost like this season they decided to deliberately match people with opposite opinions on major issues just to see what would happen.  

If they're doing this on purpose, especially in 2020 (and I can certainly believe they are), they're just sick. Tensions are as high as they've ever been. It's not cute to put anyone in that position in an intimate relationship. 

Fortunately, the show hasn't typically showed any political discussion, and I hope it stops and doesn't do more. That said, I remember a few couples where it was implied that their politics did align well: Bobby/Danielle, Jamie/Beth, Woody/Amani, and Bennett/Amelia all come to mind. And they're all still together! Imagine that...

On 3/18/2021 at 7:37 AM, Cancun said:

I’m going to rewatch, but I think we saw an entire episode without Ginny drinking?? Is that possible?!  Really, not much drinking from any of the cast this episode. I wonder if they were instructed “no alcohol during Viv’s serious working session with them.

I'd have to review, but I think I spotted an opaque thermal tumbler on the table next to her laptop while she was announcing her bank password to the universe. Those can keep coffee warm, but they can also keep white wine or a cocktail cool. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume it was just some Country Time Lemonade. 

On 3/17/2021 at 11:21 PM, Yeah No said:

Haley admitted that she has tried but just can't connect with this guy.  He gives her smirky, dismissive one word answers to things that should be conversation starters.  She feels cut off at the pass at every turn with him.  Every time things seem to be going in the right direction he throws more pressure on her about her attraction to him.  Just STOP IT already, you're only sabotaging yourself.  He is acting like a 14 year old, not a guy pushing 40.  He has no clue how to handle a woman.  My husband just can't take his behavior anymore.  Haley admitted that if they were dating she would not be there.  I am sorry but it is just nasty to blame her at this point just because she tends to be "too picky".  A lot of women would have thrown in the towel by now if faced with the likes of Jake, including me, so it's not fair to blame what is happening on her pickiness or to force her to continue to deal with him as if there's any chance in hell it's going to change.  We all know what it looks like when people are clicking and they are just not clicking.  Period, the end.  Stop blaming her for it.  It just isn't there on both ends.

On 3/18/2021 at 8:19 AM, Baltimore Betty said:

Jake has his mind made up, his internal dialogue will keep him from anything but his fatalistic, self fulfilling prophesy of all relationships end badly because the girl did not fall in love at first sight or on his time line.  I get it, everyone wants to be loved but he has not had success so he sabotages relationships before they can get off the ground, [Haley] senses his neediness and runs the other way.  Confidence is a very attractive quality but [Haley] can smell the desperation and the onions all over Jake.

These comments nail it! Unfortunately for Haley, her "thing" on the show is that she's too picky. So now, no matter who she's matched with, if she's not into him it's because her personality is defective. But in this case, there are some serious personality... differences... on both sides. 

I think she keeps saying she's still trying because in her mind, she is. We can all see her wanting to crawl out of her own skin when she's near Jake, but I can also see her trying -- and apparently failing, based on many comments here -- to avoid the "bitch edit." She and Jake will be having a decent conversation, she'll even smile or laugh a little at something he says, and then IMMEDIATELY his face darkens, his voice takes on an underworldly timbre, and he makes some ominous comment about I MADE YOU LAUGH DO YOU FINALLY WANT TO FUCK ME NOW. And you can see her totally deflate and crawl back inside herself. He can't just enjoy a moment; he demands feedback and it must be positive, and he can't or won't see how counterproductive this approach is.

Maybe Haley is too uptight, too detached, whatever -- I don't personally think so, but I'm also more independent and not very touchy-feely, so I've been accused of those things, too. But I don't think she's a liar or a monster. Jake gaslights her, and some viewers, by revising history. She tries to tell her side of what happened, like when he waited up for her as a MarTyR oF LoVe even though he didn't tell her he was doing it, but he talks over her and starts to turn into Hulk Jake, so she gives up. No matter what she does, she's going to be criticized, because Jake has a Master's degree in Nice Guy Bullshit. Unfortunately for him, I have a PhD in Seeing Through Your Bullshit. Summa cum STFU.

Edited March 19, 2021 by JocelynCavanaugh

[Hangin Out]

Oh nuts.  Tinsley and Scott just broke up.  He broke off with her.  (N.Y. Housewives)

44 minutes ago, glitterpussy said:

This doesn't surprise me because he's a controlling, smothering asshole. He's the type who would falsely accuse you of cheating so much, that you actually decide to go ahead and do it!

I can't understand these grown-ass adults that still believe that because something happened in their previous relationships, that justifies expecting a new partner to cater to their irrational issues.  How about you work on yourself, Eric, instead of forbidding your wife to have friendships?  That just wouldn't occur to him.  VA is a hot mess for sure, but she doesn't deserve that.  He will definietly go through you phone if he gets that pwd, girl. She can't even *like* someone's social media posts if they've previously dated? Absurd.

He’s a yenta.  Too much in women’s business.

[Empress1]

46 minutes ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

I'd have to review, but I think I spotted an opaque thermal tumbler on the table next to her laptop while she was announcing her bank password to the universe.

I was like “Did she really just announce her password on TV?” And you shouldn’t use the same password for everything. I hope she changed it.

[JocelynCavanaugh]

3 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I was like “Did she really just announce her password on TV?” And you shouldn’t use the same password for everything. I hope she changed it.

If she didn't know to do that after she said it, she probably figured it out on Thursday morning when she had 50 emails about unknown devices accessing her accounts!

[Hangin Out]

19 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Now, I feel awful b/c like @Silver Bells and @gonecrackers, I'm team Jake.

[Hangin Out]

22 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

19 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Now, I feel awful b/c like @Silver Bells and @gonecrackers, I'm team Jake.

Don’t feel awful.  I’ve just about had it with all of them.  This season has been the worst. Plus, the so called experts were useless.  Maybe the show is concentrating on their new show of the rejects.  How they picked this bunch, I have no idea.  Chris and Paige talking so slowly and always looking down was the worst.  All of them had issues that should have been noticed.  How did they let them go through the vetting?  To show something different?  It didn’t work. Viewers have left.

Edited March 19, 2021 by Silver Bells

[Kira53]

On 3/13/2021 at 1:23 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:

There has to be an answer, and I think it's purposely not being shown.

What we've seen on the show doesn't correspond at all with someone who would run with the bulls in Pamplona.  So I'm thinking she's getting the dour edit.  But I haven't seen much fun from Jake, either.  He probably thinks his quirky hobby fulfills that requirement, but I'm afraid he's wrong, and I'm positive he's wrong when it comes to Haley.

As @LuvMyShows pointed out, her trips to Australia and Pamplona were fertile ground for fun, lively conversation that just didn't happen, and I don't get the impression it was because she didn't want to elaborate.

I think that she really doesn't have much of a personality, she seems dry and uninvolved in creating conversation. To me she's like an Olivia, who travels to say they've been here and there and to have something to talk about but they're not really very interesting in and of themselves.  Sometimes boring people do a lot of travel thinking they're going to become interesting and I believe they're interested in seeing other parts of the world but that doesn't mean you're interesting because you go to interesting places.

[humbleopinion]

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

I was like “Did she really just announce her password on TV?” And you shouldn’t use the same password for everything. I hope she changed it.

It's okay... she changed it with a 1 in front of her old password...clever girl......

 

2 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

She and Jake will be having a decent conversation, she'll even smile or laugh a little at something he says, and then IMMEDIATELY his face darkens, his voice takes on an underworldly timbre, and he makes some ominous comment about I MADE YOU LAUGH DO YOU FINALLY WANT TO FUCK ME NOW. And you can see her totally deflate and crawl back inside herself. He can't just enjoy a moment; he demands feedback and it must be positive, and he can't or won't see how counterproductive this approach is.

You totally nailed the molecules of the air changing between Jake and Hales at that split second...(imagine the voice in Jake's head sounding dark, ominous and mocking)

 Haley unaware of the synapses crackling and firing between his brain and his penis with a surge of testosterone...and his face hardens just this side of imperceptible....Girlie, call up Paige to tell her you are coming up to visit and a nightcap.....now!

Edited March 19, 2021 by humbleopinion

[Hangin Out]

1 hour ago, Kira53 said:

I think that she really doesn't have much of a personality, she seems dry and uninvolved in creating conversation. To me she's like an Olivia, who travels to say they've been here and there and to have something to talk about but they're not really very interesting in and of themselves.  Sometimes boring people do a lot of travel thinking they're going to become interesting and I believe they're interested in seeing other parts of the world but that doesn't mean you're interesting because you go to interesting places.

I’m really tired of her saying it’s the 80’s and his neon and hobbies that bother her.  That is not a reason.  She just didn’t like his looks from the beginning.  He repulsed her.  There is nothing exciting about her either.  So she travels and goes out with the girls to drink.  What else makes her so special?  She left him in the room about four times to go with the girls, which isn’t nice.  Then when confronted, she cries.  Just be honest and say he’s not for you and call it a day.  Throwing her in the he bed with him is not the answer, Miss Sex Therapist.  She probably left when the lights went out.  You don’t have to have anything in common to make a marriage work either.  You compromise.  I just think you have to be in love to get married, or you miss out on something wonderful.  I don’t see sleeping with someone when there’s no connection works either.  I don’t know how Clara does it.  How can you kiss a guy when you have no feelings for him?  Yuk.  When I met the husband, it was love at first sight.  Went together for two years, then married .. hardly anything in common.  There were days when we hated each other, but love prevails.  Married 56 yrs this October.  FYI, our wedding pic on my profile.

Edited March 20, 2021 by Silver Bells

[Hip-to-be-Square]

4 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

I’m really tired of her saying it’s the 80’s and his neon and hobbies that bother her.  That is not a reason.  She just didn’t like his looks from the beginning.  He repulsed her.  There is nothing exciting about her either.  So she travels and goes out with the girls to drink.  What else makes her so special?  She left him in the room about four times to go with the girls, which isn’t nice.  Then when confronted, she cries.  Just be honest and say he’s not for you and call it a day.  Throwing her in the he bed with him is not the answer, Miss Sex Therapist.  She probably left when the lights went out.  You don’t have to have anything in common to make a marriage work either.  You compromise.  I just think you have to be in love to get married, or you miss out on something wonderful.  I don’t see sleeping with someone when there’s no connection works either.  I don’t know how Clara does it.  How can you kiss a guy when you have no feelings for him?  Yuk.  When I met the husband, it was love at first sight.  Went together for two years, then married .. hardly anything in common.  There were days when we hated each other, but love prevails.  Married 56 yrs this October.  FYI, our wedding pic on my profile.

Your wedding photo on your profile is gorgeous! You both make a very attractive couple and congratulations on your 56 years of love and marriage this October!

[Hangin Out]

On 3/17/2021 at 8:58 PM, Mindthinkr said:

I wonder if Jake has bad body odor. That would keep her far away from him. 

But then she could tell him.  No?  That could be fixed.  I think it’s his face she doesn’t like.  That can’t be fixed.

[Hangin Out]

On 3/18/2021 at 12:21 PM, Racj82 said:

Preach. I'm courier. I don't like animals but a lot of people have them so you must be prepared. But, I'm constantly annoyed by how many open their doors without having their pet restrained. It's why I barely get signatures at houses anymore. I ring, walk away and wait to see if a customer comes for the package. I've had to deal with too many dogs I shouldn't have to worry about. Don't get me started on people who leave their dogs unleashed in a open yard. I had four dogs from different houses run to my truck the other day with no human around. It's wild.

UPS ?   My son almost had his leg chewed off.  The dog got in the truck and son had to jump up onto shelf.  Very grueling job.

Edited March 20, 2021 by Silver Bells

[Hangin Out]

8 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

Your wedding photo on your profile is gorgeous! You both make a very attractive couple and congratulations on your 56 years of love and marriage this October!

Thanks.  Thought it was appropriate being this was a “ marriage” show.  My circle of eight couples are still together the same amount of years.  Guess it was the times when people really tried to stay together.  It isn’t easy. 😍

[Starlight925]

13 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Married 56 yrs this October.  FYI, our wedding pic on my profile.

Oh my, what a gorgeous picture!!  And such a fitting User Name!  Now I get you more, @Silver Bells.  Always loved your posts, now I feel I understand you more!

It makes me sad that the "experts" wouldn't be able to see through a narcissistic, lying piece of garbage Chris, or that someone like Paige needs someone super stable, like a Greg (of Greg & Deonna).  Paige is writing her own story here, staying after lie after lie, so that's on her.  But what she walked down the aisle to, well that's on the experts.  

You can't tell me there wasn't one other nice guy in the entire Atlanta area that was marriage-minded, very religious, stable, sweet, and cute?  Oh wait, there was, but they matched him with someone else:  Ryan (haircut notwithstanding, lol).  

[Hangin Out]

On 3/18/2021 at 12:49 PM, JapMo said:

SB, like you, I've been in Jacob's corner since the beginning, and thought Haley wasn't even trying.  But something she said last episode really made me think.  She said there's no fun in the relationship....that they never laugh or joke around.  It's just serious all the time.  Now maybe it's the editing, but I agree with her in that respect and I blame Jake for a lot of it.  Again, maybe editing, but he's always either got a glum look on his face or a sarcastic smirk.  By his own admission, he says he's never been in to giving women flowers or gifts.  This season and throughout the years, we've seen the guys do nice things for their wives and plan surprises.  Jake is like a big stick in the mud.  Haley went to the effort of getting him some updated clothes.  Yes, some of that was for her benefit, but she did at least try and I'm not seeing him do much of anything. 

Jake is pissed because they had sex and she immediately pulled away from him and hasn't moved one iota back towards him since.  His ego is hurt...there's no other way to read it than that she didn't like the sex.   Anybody would be hurt by that, especially when he can see with his own eyes that she's not attracted to him.  He tries to hide it, but I see a lot of pent up anger behind those sarcastic smirks.  Does he really want to be with her?  Does he see her as a person he could have a family with and grow old with, or does he keep pushing for more intimacy and physical contact because he needs affirmation that he is good in the sack?  

I think at this point all the balls are in Haley's court and she needs to be honest with him.  She needs to voice aloud what Jake already knows...she does not nor never will be attracted to him physically (but say it in a nicer way, LOL).  Then play out the next few weeks and have some fun.  They both like hiking and sailing....go do something like that together.  Then on D-Day part friendly and don't air any dirty laundry.  Be classy.

They both should just agree to be friends.Then go out drinking and dinner until showdown comes.  

[Soup333]

1 hour ago, Silver Bells said:

Thanks.  Thought it was appropriate being this was a “ marriage” show.  My circle of eight couples are still together the same amount of years.  Guess it was the times when people really tried to stay together.  It isn’t easy. 😍

Congratulations on your anniversary! My aunt and uncle just celebrated 58 years. We had a zoom party. My aunt said when they got married they didn’t have a big wedding or a reception. My grandfather took my uncle to the bar and she had a few Krispy Kreme doughnuts with my grandmother. 

[Hangin Out]

6 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

Oh my, what a gorgeous picture!!  And such a fitting User Name!  Now I get you more, @Silver Bells.  Always loved your posts, now I feel I understand you more!

By this time, I think we are all friends and can share some things.  Why not?  I know I probably sound like an annoying know it all, but after all these years of marriage, I feel like I’ve learned a lot.  Good and bad.  Thanks. 😀

 

 

 

[Yeah No]

On 3/18/2021 at 1:29 PM, gonecrackers said:

On the honeymoon they were going to a dinner together & Haley said "You are so much fun", so either she was lying, or Jake wasn't such a dud at one time. Then she didn't invite him to their little gathering & didn't apologize for hurting his feelings, even though he apologized for being hurt, & even changes her seat on the plane not to sit with Jake.  I can understand that being a downer for him.

She bought shirts with the intention of trying to find him attractive. That's not nice or generous - it's self-serving shitty behavior, & would be had a man done that to a woman on this show as well.

I don't think Haley was lying at the time when she told Jake he was "so much fun".  During the first day or two of the honeymoon it did look like they were having fun.  Jake did a 180 and suddenly became sour on Haley after the sex.  Now this is just a theory, but he may be projecting his own feelings of sexual inadequacy on her and (like he always does) anticipates that she is rejecting him because of that "inadequacy" and so he reacts in a sullen way as a result.  Meanwhile what's coming from her end is not necessarily a rejection to that degree.  The sex may not have been great and it may not have made her fall for him or grow in attraction for him, but it might not have been a a complete rejection and if he didn't just about wreck any chances of her growing in attraction for him in the future by berating her about it every chance he gets things might have turned out different.

And buying the shirts - look, I buy my husband shirts all the time, so do a lot of wives.  My husband buys me clothes too - I think sometimes he knows better than I do what looks good on me.  We all want our spouses to look attractive and it's not necessarily "self-serving and shitty behavior" to buy clothes for them.  I look at it as an affectionate thing.  My ego is not so fragile that I take it as an insult to my fashion taste.  It's a good sign if he wants me to look more attractive for him.  It shows he cares.  If he didn't care he wouldn't go to that length.  So I see this from a completely different perspective.  Besides, I think the shirts thing was totally instigated by production.  It has them written all over it.

[Hangin Out]

13 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

Congratulations on your anniversary! My aunt and uncle just celebrated 58 years. We had a zoom party. My aunt said when they got married they didn’t have a big wedding or a reception. My grandfather took my uncle to the bar and she had a few Krispy Kreme doughnuts with my grandmother. 

That’s cute.  We had the whole shebang.  Mass at church, 130 people reception, blah, blah.  Hardy remember anything except not eating.  Drove to the Poconos, and look for a place to eat ravioli as we were starving.  Next morning, Aunt Flo arrived; wouldn’t you know, haha.  Still had fun and glad it was all over.  Tell them “Happy Anniversary”.  🥰

[Yeah No]

On 3/18/2021 at 12:49 PM, JapMo said:

SB, like you, I've been in Jacob's corner since the beginning, and thought Haley wasn't even trying.  But something she said last episode really made me think.  She said there's no fun in the relationship....that they never laugh or joke around.  It's just serious all the time.  Now maybe it's the editing, but I agree with her in that respect and I blame Jake for a lot of it.  Again, maybe editing, but he's always either got a glum look on his face or a sarcastic smirk.  By his own admission, he says he's never been in to giving women flowers or gifts.  This season and throughout the years, we've seen the guys do nice things for their wives and plan surprises.  Jake is like a big stick in the mud.  Haley went to the effort of getting him some updated clothes.  Yes, some of that was for her benefit, but she did at least try and I'm not seeing him do much of anything. 

Jake is pissed because they had sex and she immediately pulled away from him and hasn't moved one iota back towards him since.  His ego is hurt...there's no other way to read it than that she didn't like the sex.   Anybody would be hurt by that, especially when he can see with his own eyes that she's not attracted to him.  He tries to hide it, but I see a lot of pent up anger behind those sarcastic smirks.  Does he really want to be with her?  Does he see her as a person he could have a family with and grow old with, or does he keep pushing for more intimacy and physical contact because he needs affirmation that he is good in the sack?  

I think at this point all the balls are in Haley's court and she needs to be honest with him.  She needs to voice aloud what Jake already knows...she does not nor never will be attracted to him physically (but say it in a nicer way, LOL).  Then play out the next few weeks and have some fun.  They both like hiking and sailing....go do something like that together.  Then on D-Day part friendly and don't air any dirty laundry.  Be classy.

I think Jake is the one that pulled away after sex and he's projecting that onto Haley.  Haley hasn't really changed.  In fact she seems mystified at why he is acting this way.  I think he expected her to be all over him after the sex and she was just not any more attracted to him but probably not any less attracted either.  She was fully honest with him about not feeling that attraction and he took it as a rejection because he expected that to change after sex.  So it's feeding into his feelings of inadequacy in the sex department from before he met Haley and he is reacting like it's a big rejection when it might just be that it didn't change anything one way or the other for her.  I don't even think Haley knows at this point whether or not her lack of attraction for him is a final thing and nothing will change it.  I think she had sex too soon with him for it to have been the thing to change her feelings about him.  But for sure, the way he is reacting about this is only going to make any potential feelings of attraction in her impossible.  She keeps saying she needs more time but he's not willing to wait so he's sabotaging it like he's rejected so screw her he'll just sit in the corner, sulk and berate her about it.  He doesn't have the self confidence to think that if he's patient she'll see the light about how great he is.  That's HIS problem.  She is willing to give it time - that's not leading him on, I think she is in earnest about that.  But his ego is too fragile to look at it that way.

[Racj82]

2 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

UPS ?   My son almost had his leg chewed off.  The dog got in the truck and son had to jump up onto shelf.  Very grueling job.

Fed ex. But, all couriers have the same issues. 

[gonecrackers]

40 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I don't think Haley was lying at the time when she told Jake he was "so much fun".

I did not say she was lying then. I noted that because he WAS fun for her at one time. SHE killed the fun by pulling back, something in the previews she admits.

41 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Now this is just a theory, but he may be projecting his own feelings of sexual inadequacy on her and (like he always does) anticipates that she is rejecting him because of that "inadequacy" and so he reacts in a sullen way as a result. 

Personally I'm not gonna jump to that. JMO, but someone feeling that sexually inadequate probably wouldn't exactly get with a stranger on teevee. The guy was a bodybuilder & generally seems pretty comfortable with himself.

42 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

And buying the shirts - look, I buy my husband shirts all the time, so do a lot of wives.  My husband buys me clothes too - I think sometimes he knows better than I do what looks good on me.  We all want our spouses to look attractive and it's not necessarily "self-serving and shitty behavior" to buy clothes for them.  I look at it as an affectionate thing. 

Yeah when you're married & LOVE & CARE for the other person, maybe. But Haley's admitted she doesn't like the way he dresses & she also admitted (I believe it was on Unfiltered) that she was dressing him up to try to be attracted to him. They don't even know each other a month at this point, & the purpose for the buying was not pure. Other way around it would've sucked too.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

I did not say she was lying then. I noted that because he WAS fun for her at one time. SHE killed the fun by pulling back, something in the previews she admits.

Personally I'm not gonna jump to that. JMO, but someone feeling that sexually inadequate probably wouldn't exactly get with a stranger on teevee. The guy was a bodybuilder & generally seems pretty comfortable with himself.

Yeah when you're married & LOVE & CARE for the other person, maybe. But Haley's admitted she doesn't like the way he dresses & she also admitted (I believe it was on Unfiltered) that she was dressing him up to try to be attracted to him. They don't even know each other a month at this point, & the purpose for the buying was not pure. Other way around it would've sucked too.

I think she pulled back after he acted negative with her.  She was too confused to parse that out at the time.  But that's my opinion

A lot of people feel inadequate sexually, even bodybuilders.  I think Clara's Ryan does too, especially next to her.  I think it's arguable that some bodybuilders feel inadequate with the opposite sex and that's what leads them to becoming bodybuilders in the first place.  But the root problem isn't solved by the bodybuilding, unfortunately.

I didn't like the way my husband dressed when I first met him either, and he knew it.  And I told him I wasn't attracted to him either.  Thankfully he was a nice person and didn't make me pay for it every day until it drove me away.  He was patient with me and lo and behold, he made me laugh and suddenly I found him attractive.  Jake isn't letting that happen.  He is sabotaging himself and her before any of that had a chance in hell of happening.  These people only knew each other a few days when all of this happened.  I can understand that it might take someone like Haley longer to find her feelings for a guy.  She knows she has a tendency to be too quick to judge and I can tell she's trying her best not to let that happen again with him but he is making that pretty much impossible at this point. 

In addition to his acting rejected he is putting too much pressure on her.  He is acting like because she had sex with him she should be acting like she's into him, meanwhile the sex only left her more confused about her feelings about him.  Add his pressure and it's no wonder she's never going to suddenly find anything to find attractive about him.  I am wondering at this point whether it was his pressure that contributed to her have sex with him before she was really ready.  I kind of doubt that even if she didn't have sex with him yet that he wouldn't still be acting this way, only instead of it being about her "pulling away" it would have been him sulking and putting pressure on her because she wouldn't have 1st time sex with him.

Edited March 20, 2021 by Yeah No

[Hangin Out]

1 hour ago, Racj82 said:

Fed ex. But, all couriers have the same issues. 

I’ve heard.  Now, after many years, my kid has a broken back.  I don’t know how you all do it.  Harder than it looks.