S05.E10: I've Got This

[ams1001]

33 minutes ago, Katy M said:

Did you watch Secret Life of the American Teenager.  It was just oh so awful. But, it starts out with a 15 year old pregnant girl and some guy who is not the father proposes to her and his father is all "this is great.  These kids should totally get married."  I was like "what????"  

Oh, man, that show was so terrible for so many reasons. At least Deja and Malik aren't talking marriage.

[TV Diva Queen]

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

I assume he meant his job as an actor generally, not any project he's working on at this moment.

Money is such a funny thing with families. In my experience, families who take a communal approach to money tend to be either wealthy or poor - poor because everyone needs to pool resources (including things like child care) in order to function, and wealthy because of inherited wealth. I actually think it's great that Kevin has this communal approach to money, but I don't know that I would be comfortable having him fund my whole life either (although I would, and have, taken a lift over a rough spot from family).

That call between Kate and Rebecca was really nice, on both sides - Rebecca reassuring Kate that she's stronger than she knows, and Kate thanking Rebecca for what she did with them as kids.

Randall was fun this episode. His excitement over his basil plant and his "I don't think so Jennifer! Tacky" cracked me up.

I like the idea of Carol staying with the family. This show kind of plays fast and loose with COVID (like, is Tess's girlfriend in their pod? Should she be going over to the house?), but "is it wise for my widowed 70-year-old mother to be alone in a pandemic?" is the kind of conversation the family should have. Same with Uncle Nicky.

As someone else said, credit card roulette at a business dinner is tacky as hell. I see why Jack felt pressured, but he shouldn't have been put in that position in the first place.

would it have killed him to say "tacky" like Clare Huxtable does in the tacky barrette story?  That's the only way i ever say "tacky".  🙂

[chocolatine]

 

9 hours ago, TV Diva Queen said:

Do we know anything about Madison to know who she can afford that house? While its shabby for Kevin's crazy money, its pretty fancy for what I thought Madison was.  LOL.  I have nothing to go on but I didn't think she had money. PS, I'm not doubting your hubby:) 

 

8 hours ago, MissLucas said:

With regards to Madison's profession and money: fan Wiki claims she's a banker but it's not clear where they gleamed that info from. When she crashed into Kate's car during season 2 she drove a Range Rover Evoque - not a car person so I have no idea what that says about her finances.

I've always assumed that Madison is independently wealthy. Not super-rich, but she has a reliable income stream that allows her to have an upper-middle-class lifestyle. Her profession was never mentioned on the show, but she seems to be well connected. She lined up a job interview for Kate at a school a few seasons ago because she knew the principal from a charity event she'd organized (and I got the impression that the principal owed her a favor). She was also able to get Kate an appointment at a fancy custom bridal boutique that had a long waitlist. She said she doesn't have a relationship with her parents, but maybe she had successful and loving grandparents who left their estate to her and/or taught her how to invest and manage money.

8 hours ago, Leeds said:

(The interviewer was a dick for telling Toby the job was pretty much in the bag, but it didn't make any difference to him whether he said it or not.)

The interviewer didn't say Toby had the job in the bag, only that Toby was one of the top candidates. Tech recruiters and hiring managers do that sort of thing all the time, and most of the time they end up "going in another direction." It's misleading, but not unusual. 

7 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

Otherwise, as Toby was trying to say, any entry level job she might get would probably not result in  much profit after childcare for two,  work clothes, transportation was taken out.  

It's not just about the profit though. It's about Kate having a choice. We never saw Kate and Toby decide that Kate would be a long-term SAHM, and since she made the effort to finish her college degree, Toby shouldn't have assumed that she'd be happy to stay at home.

7 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Many companies (tech and non-tech) won't hire you if they think that you won't fit into the company culture. If you're the only one who showed up for the interview in a suit, they might see that as a sign that you won't fit in with the hoodie wearing employees and their mentality. And since Toby is an IT manager, he would only be dealing with the company employees, not clients.

We did see Toby entertain a client once (that time when Kate joined him for dinner and wanted to sit in a booth because she thought she might break a chair). He may be managing a solutions engineering team, which is technical but also client-facing.

7 hours ago, Blakeston said:

I feel like it's a huge cliche at this point when a Black adult character's elderly parent is depicted as a hyper-judgmental scold who pulls rank all the time, and expects their offspring do everything a certain way. I get that there are certainly parents like this in real life, and that respect for one's elders is big in Black culture, but not all Black parents of that generation can be placed in the same box.

Respect for elders is big in most cultures, as is the stereotype of the judgmental grandparents. I didn't see it as a Black stereotype at all.

Edited March 17, 2021 by chocolatine

[AzraeltheCat]

I did feel like Beth's mom was judgy.  The little comments about how the dinner needed more spice; or how it's not that hard to remember the correct pronouns.  I have a TERRIBLE time with this because I come from a family of teachers who were super strict about grammar. I never would've said, as Beth's mom claimed, "Someone left THEIR umbrella at work." I would have used "an umbrella" if I didn't know if who the umbreall owner was. So it has been difficult for me to reconcile the grammar so ingrained in my head with one person being referred to as "their." [I'm trying to do better!]. And it totally fits to me that Tess would throw a snit fit when Beth messes that up.  I think most teens are obnoxious at some point or another, regardless of the strictness or whatever of the parents. Plus Beth and Randall are walking a fine line- they are not pushovers, but they also want Tess to be able to come to them...esp considering she has been dealing with her identity and her anxiety.  

Toby annoyed the heck out of me, but I can understand his feeling pressure as sole breadwinner. But dang. 1) If your wife wants to work, be supportive! 2) WEAR PANTS DURING AN INTERVIEW, even a Zoom one.  Also, I'll echo the others on setting up inside and having someone watch the baby.  And don't talk about your 30 interviews. 3) I was glad that he and Kevin apologized to each other. 

I love Kevin and Madison.  and Uncle Nicky! But Kevin babbling on about gifts from Jessica Alba and Glenn Close, etc., even without knowing Toby lost his job, was sort of obnoxious. And I understand his offer to help came from a good place but was not the right time or place.   

Issac! I might have to name my basil now.  😉

  

[Leeds]

49 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

 

The interviewer didn't say Toby had the job in the bag, only that Toby was one of the top candidates.

The interviewer specifically says, "You're our top candidate."

[Jax7917]

20 minutes ago, Leeds said:

The interviewer specifically says, "You're our top candidate."

In the interviewers defense , Toby was acting like an entitled Pearson when he demanded the guy tell him where he ranks . He said it in a way that made it seem like he was doing the interviewer and company a favor by ( possibly) working there . No one acts like that during an interview . I enjoy this show , but every person on it acts so entitled all the time . 

[BusyOctober]

Not too overbearing an episode.  And I actually laughed out loud and snorted during Beth’s dinner.  When she approached Randall to put his phone in the bowl, and he hesitates, saying “I’m a City Councilor, what if there’s an emergency?”  Beth stares him down and he said, “It’s ok, the city can burn.” as he turns in his phone.

Toby must have made a huuuge salary prior to his layoff if they have untouched savings! Kate doesn’t work, and as other posters noted, they live in a pretty nice house, in a cute neighborhood in SoCal. They have 2 cars, a child who needs extra medical and educational services.  They just paid for the adoption which may have entailed helping the birth mom with HER medical and living expenses, and the cost of the delivery/ hospital stay. Aside from his high 6 figure salary, he must have also had the ultimate “Cadillac” health coverage. Plus they could afford multiple cross country trips to PA a or NY pre-COVID.  

And it’s nice that Kate has a job.  But how much could she realistically earn?  She isn’t a PhD in music therapy.  Since there are children’s service offered at the school, they may be ok with her bring Hailey and Jack to work.  Or, because she is a Pearson, I am sure the school will setup an in-house daycare. Randall can fly in and use his speechification magic to  coerce, bore into submission, convince the school to offer free daycare.

[ItCouldBeWorse]

11 hours ago, MelisendeT said:

I actually thought it was odd that Kevin's house looks so very basic. Everything about the place looks old - esp. the kitchen. The interior is gloomy and has too few windows. A lot of an actors income comes from residuals, so depending on how many years The Manny was on TV, he'd do very well from the reruns. I'm surprised that he doesn't have a better home. I also find it strange how Kate and Madison now seem like strangers when they used to be besties. 

I think they're still in Madison's home, which only had 2 bedrooms. I suppose the Asian-themed guest room is now the nursery. That's probably why Kevin is looking for a place to build a family home.

15 hours ago, bros402 said:

Randall will find the farm Isaac was grown on and go into the middle of the field and start screaming, where he will see Isaac the Basil Plant, after we have had a three episode arc to learn about him and the farmers who made him

I couldn't understand why Randall was calling him "Isaac" when his name was obviously "Basil". Very confusing for the poor plant.

[ItCouldBeWorse]

1 hour ago, AzraeltheCat said:

The little comments about how the dinner needed more spice;

Carol was the one who told Beth to put fewer Scotch bonnets in the curry! She set her up so she could later criticize her!

 

[ItCouldBeWorse]

On 3/17/2021 at 6:10 AM, Blakeston said:

Kevin's social obliviousness was really dialed up in this episode. Any idiot could see that Toby's pride was hurting, and that he was extremely sensitive to being seen as a charity case, and yet Kevin would not let up.

I think that Kevin was just deliriously happy at his new situation and wanted to share his joy. He's not used to feeling this way, and was not reading the room.

Edited March 18, 2021 by ItCouldBeWorse

[txhorns79]

54 minutes ago, Leeds said:

The interviewer specifically says, "You're our top candidate."

That can be true in the moment, and then one of the other partners interviews someone better than Toby.  I thought the whole thing was strange.  I didn't understand why Toby set up a fake backdrop in the garage.  There are plenty of places in the house that would have been completely acceptable as a background.  I also didn't understand what would possess Toby to tell the guy how many times he had been considered and rejected at this point.   

[ams1001]

 

57 minutes ago, Leeds said:

The interviewer specifically says, "You're our top candidate."

I thought he said he was 'one of' their top candidates (I may have heard wrong or be misremembering, though).

17 minutes ago, BusyOctober said:

Toby must have made a huuuge salary prior to his layoff if they have untouched savings! 

Someone mentioned above that since he was laid off, he would likely be able to get unemployment, and may have gotten severance from his company. How long is it supposed to be since the babies were born? A few weeks? A couple months? (I have no clue but I'd think they'd at least wait a month or two before taking them out to socialize, though may do it earlier since it's with family.) Plus if it's only been a few weeks most of their bills may not have come due quite yet.

10 minutes ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

I couldn't understand why Randall was calling him "Isaac" when his name was obviously "Basil". Very confusing for the poor plant.

4 minutes ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

Carol was the one who told Beth to put fewer Scotch bonnets in the curry! She set her up so she could later criticize her!

Yes! That was so annoying. I was surprised Beth didn't remind her she told her not to put more in.

[MissLucas]

36 minutes ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

I couldn't understand why Randall was calling him "Isaac" when his name was obviously "Basil". Very confusing for the poor plant.

It's Basil, Isaac Basil *greensteeling*

[tennisgurl]

I bet the interviewer could smell Toby's desperation from across the internet, his interviewing skills seem to leave much to be desired. Even without his baby crying and a garage in the background. I couldn't tell, Toby really was wearing pants right? That was a joke, right? I know we have all made cracks about everyone wearing pajama bottoms or no pants during Zoom calls, but I do NOT need the mental imagine of my boss not wearing pants while we have Zoom meeting...

Annie needs to find something to angst about if she wants to get even a sliver of attention from her parents. She's too young to date, she'll have to find something else? Maybe make a really tame YouTube video where you dance around and call someone lame, we know how upset Randall and Beth get about that. 

[ams1001]

5 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

I bet the interviewer could smell Toby's desperation from across the internet, his interviewing skills seem to leave much to be desired. Even without his baby crying and a garage in the background. I couldn't tell, Toby really was wearing pants right? That was a joke, right? I know we have all made cracks about everyone wearing pajama bottoms or no pants during Zoom calls, but I do NOT need the mental imagine of my boss not wearing pants while we have Zoom meeting...

No, after he gets off the call he stands up and he's wearing boxers. I hope their garage is attached to the house and he didn't actually walk outside like that... 

[tennisgurl]

1 minute ago, ams1001 said:

No, after he gets off the call he stands up and he's wearing boxers. I hope their garage is attached to the house and he didn't actually walk outside like that... 

Well damn, in that case I cant blame the company for not hiring him at all. If you cant even be bothered to wear pants to talk to me for half an hour, why would I think that your a hard worker who will be an asset to my company? 

[Cosmocrush]

19 hours ago, KaveDweller said:

Also, does anyone actually put on a tie but not bother with pants for Zoom calls? At least a pair of sweats? I know it looks funny, but I can't really believe that.

Oh yes, yes they do.  After a year of Zoom meetings I have seen the tops of too many men's thighs - especially in the summer.   🤪

[ams1001]

  

25 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

Well damn, in that case I cant blame the company for not hiring him at all. If you cant even be bothered to wear pants to talk to me for half an hour, why would I think that your a hard worker who will be an asset to my company? 

The interviewer didn't see it (well, as far as we know), but why would you risk it? What would he have done if the baby started screaming or something and he had to get up to pick her up?

[Cosmocrush]

12 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

What would he have done if the baby started screaming or something and he had to get up to pick her up?

I heard about this widget yesterday and now I'm suspicious of anyone that steps out to "fix it." Hehe

 The Zoom Escaper

Had enough Zoom meetings? Can’t bear another soul-numbing day of sitting on video calls, the only distraction your rapidly aging face, pinned in one corner of the screen like a dying bug? Well, if so, then boy do we have the app for you. Meet Zoom Escaper: a free web widget that lets you add an array of fake audio effects to your next Zoom Call, gifting you with numerous reasons to end the meeting and escape, while you still can.

You can choose from barking dogs, construction noises, crying babies, or even subtler effects like choppy audio and unwanted echoes.

Edited March 17, 2021 by Cosmocrush
grammar

[chocolatine]

1 hour ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

I couldn't understand why Randall was calling him "Isaac" when his name was obviously "Basil". Very confusing for the poor plant.

The plant shouldn't have been named at all. I learned at a very young age never to name anything that can be eaten. That included the chickens in our backyard coop.

[circumvent]

5 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Many companies (tech and non-tech) won't hire you if they think that you won't fit into the company culture. If you're the only one who showed up for the interview in a suit, they might see that as a sign that you won't fit in with the hoodie wearing employees and their mentality. And since Toby is an IT manager, he would only be dealing with the company employees, not clients.

Key word is "might". It is still considered safe do dress up for interviews, measure your words, how and where t look at the interviewee, words to emphasize, some people even go through training just for an interview. While I have no knowledge of companies denying qualified workers based on how they dressed, if it happens, that's likely due to 

1. They can pick and choose from a large pool of very equally qualified workers for a position, so they pick the one that looks like the current ones

2. They don't care about who is doing what, because the job doesn't require advanced knowledge or anything "extra" from the candidates - so they are more concerned about an image to project. Basically, it is part of PR.

When you don't know, dress conservatively. Especially if you believe you are really qualified. Any serious company will look at that first. Wardrobe can even be part of a possible future contract.

 

 

[chocolatine]

As a hiring manager in the tech industry, I've never made a decision based on how a candidate was dressed. It's hard enough to find qualified candidates, especially for senior-level roles, and interviewing is very time consuming for a company - there's a recruiter phone screen, a hiring manager phone screen, sometimes a technical phone screen depending on the job, then a second-round onsite (now Zoom) interview loop with 4-6 people. I might chuckle to myself if I feel someone is overdressed, but it doesn't affect my decision at all. FWIW, most of the people I've interviewed were wearing business casual; only a few were wearing suits.

ETA: I've also never told anyone they were a top candidate. Only that I was impressed with their background and was excited to talk to them. Final hiring decisions aren't made until all of the interviewers submit their feedback. Someone who did well in my portion of the interview could have done badly in a different portion - that happens quite often.

Edited March 17, 2021 by chocolatine

[ams1001]

3 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

As a hiring manager in the tech industry, I've never made a decision based on how a candidate was dressed. It's hard enough to find qualified candidates, especially for senior-level roles, and interviewing is very time consuming for a company - there's a recruiter phone screen, a hiring manager phone screen, sometimes a technical phone screen depending on the job, then a second-round onsite (now Zoom) interview loop with 4-6 people. I might chuckle to myself if I feel someone is overdressed, but it doesn't affect my decision at all. FWIW, most of the people I've interviewed were wearing business casual; only a few were wearing suits.

I've also worked with people who tended to dress a little nicer than was necessary under the dress code, just because that's how they liked to dress. They still fit in just fine.

[Empress1]

2 hours ago, BusyOctober said:

And it’s nice that Kate has a job.  But how much could she realistically earn?

Yeah, Toby was a dick at that dinner but he wasn’t wrong about having more earning potential than Kate. Kate’s teaching assistant salary isn’t going to support a family of 4 in LA. The only thing is that, if there are costs associated with baby Jack’s school, she might get them free or discounted if she works there, which helps. 

Really, this “who works in this family?” conversation should have happened after Kate finished school because she finished school because she wanted that assistant choir director job - the degree was in service of her working, she didn’t get it just to get it (which I would also support; learning just to learn is awesome). It should have happened again after they decided to adopt.

41 minutes ago, Cosmocrush said:

Oh yes, yes they do.  After a year of Zoom meetings I have seen the tops of too many men's thighs - especially in the summer.   🤪

My friend works for a Fortune 100 company and she said everybody gave up on any kind of business anything dress code the second remote work started. Hoodies, t-shirts, unshaved faces, a lot of hats (men couldn’t get haircuts and women who covered the gray were self-conscious about their roots), probably some pants-less-ness. My friend wore her usual work clothes on the first day and for her first Zoom she was like “oh word? This is what we’re doing?” 

[Runningwild]

I still can’t with Randall. He was more supportive of Malik, or really his baby, than Deja. She called him on it and he didn’t apologize. Has he ever apologized to anyone?

And not knowing his birth mom left a huge hole in his life? Really? I’m sure that’s not a slight to his family at all. And that should tell Deja that blood is everything to Randall and she’s not blood. 

[chocolatine]

14 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

I've also worked with people who tended to dress a little nicer than was necessary under the dress code, just because that's how they liked to dress. They still fit in just fine.

I used to be one of those people. Nowadays, even putting on non-stretchy pants feels like a chore.

 

[ams1001]

9 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

I used to be one of those people. Nowadays, even putting on non-stretchy pants feels like a chore.

Someone in another thread called them "hard pants."

I've been living in leggings when I'm home. I've been wearing my bathrobe since lunchtime because I was cold and it was the easiest thing to grab.

But we don't do zoom meetings.

[madmax]

21 hours ago, Jeddah said:

I have been thinking what Deja said to Randall all season! He cares more about Malik than his three daughters.

 

This bothered me to no end.  Randall's first words should have been. "Have you thought about how this will affect Deja?"  Not whining about his adoption.

20 hours ago, ProudMary said:

Hey Malik, how about talking to your girlfriend, whose Mom more or less walked away from her. She might just have some good input.

I didn't even consider this angle.  I just thought Malik should have told Deja before he said a word to Randall.

19 hours ago, RedDelicious said:

In Toby’s defense, they did just bring home a new baby and as the sole income earner, he lost his job, during the pandemic, as Kate was coming out of the hospital. He’s hustling doing interviews and didn’t get the job he thought he had in the bag (we’ve all been there) and didn’t even have a chance to process it before Kevin started Pearsoning all over the place. Toby isn’t a lot; the situation is a lot. I think he is entitled to some leeway. I very much need to process and figure out solutions to my own problems before I can allow someone else to try to fix it for me. That’s just being a responsible adult.

ETA: I was really frustrated with Kevin not listening when Toby said no to the Snoo. And I can understand all the things that came flying out of Toby’s mouth because they were all legitimate things he was worrying about and still trying to get sorted. He wasn’t wrong about how much childcare costs and I think his concern was more about making the right financial decision than keeping Kate from doing what she says she wants to do. And Kate doesn’t have a great track record of sticking with things I don’t think..

Yeah, I didn't have an issue with Toby at all.  Totally stressed, didn't get the job, he's going to be upset and even a bit defensive.  So Kevin offering (repeatedly) really touched a nerve.  I don't think Kevin did it on purpose, but he's a bit clueless sometimes.

8 hours ago, ams1001 said:

I'm assuming they were Honest diapers..?

 

Yes, you could actually read "Honest" on the side.  Nice gift.  Shoulda passed some of them over to Toby & Kate.

8 hours ago, txhorns79 said:

The mean part of me was thinking that maybe Phylicia Rashad was a better parent than Beth?  I get that it's grandma v. mom, but she certainly seemed to have a better handle on the kids than Beth did, and they responded to her much more respectfully than they did their mother.  I also feel like Phylicia Rashad could just give those kids a look, and they would immediately fall into line.  

I don't think that Phylicia Rashad was a better parent, just that kids tend to listen to others instead of their parents in situations like that.  My thought was always that the kids didn't want the other person (who they may see often) to think bad of them.  I know I experienced that quite a lot with my boys, when they would listen when my MIL or mom or even SIL asked for them to do something that I had asked 2 minutes earlier.

7 hours ago, Blakeston said:

I feel like it's a huge cliche at this point when a Black adult character's elderly parent is depicted as a hyper-judgmental scold who pulls rank all the time, and expects their offspring do everything a certain way. I get that there are certainly parents like this in real life, and that respect for one's elders is big in Black culture, but not all Black parents of that generation can be placed in the same box.

It's not just a Black character cliche, it happens all the time with white characters.  Mostly with mothers and daughters.  It would be less cliche if it was father and son.

6 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I like the idea of Carol staying with the family. This show kind of plays fast and loose with COVID (like, is Tess's girlfriend in their pod? Should she be going over to the house?), but "is it wise for my widowed 70-year-old mother to be alone in a pandemic?" is the kind of conversation the family should have. Same with Uncle Nicky.

THIS!!!  So much this.  I would have much rather they didn't even address COVID since they can't be consistent.  Did Beth and Randall quarantine after returning from New Orleans?  Is Nicky going to quarantine before walking in the house?  Sloppy, sloppy.

43 minutes ago, Runningwild said:

I still can’t with Randall. He was more supportive of Malik, or really his baby, than Deja. She called him on it and he didn’t apologize. Has he ever apologized to anyone?

And not knowing his birth mom left a huge hole in his life? Really? I’m sure that’s not a slight to his family at all. And that should tell Deja that blood is everything to Randall and she’s not blood. 

I don't think the word "sorry" is in Randall's vocab.  He should have apologized IMMEDIATELY to Deja.  

Edited March 18, 2021 by madmax

[chocolatine]

I think the person who needs to be considered first and foremost in Malik's situation is his daughter and what would be best for her in the long term. Yes, Randall is Deja's father, but I don't think Malik was asking for Deja's father's opinion, he just wanted the opinion of a trusted, impartial adult. Deja's feelings are understandable - and Randall did a good job acknowledging them, I thought - but they're not relevant in this situation.

[Runningwild]

3 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

I think the person who needs to be considered first and foremost in Malik's situation is his daughter and what would be best for her in the long term. Yes, Randall is Deja's father, but I don't think Malik was asking for Deja's father's opinion, he just wanted the opinion of a trusted, impartial adult. Deja's feelings are understandable - and Randall did a good job acknowledging them, I thought - but they're not relevant in this situation.

Randall was really thinking of Randall. Not every adoptee is so traumatized by their mom giving them up. He did say everyone is different but then insinuated that Malik’s little girl would be in therapy if he didn’t let the mother back into his life. 

[meep.meep]

35 minutes ago, madmax said:

It's not just a Black character cliche, it happens all the time with white characters.  Mostly with mothers and daughters.  It would be less cliche if it was father and son.

 

It happened with Rebecca and her mother on this show.

It's March in Philadelphia - how long does Randall think his little bud the basil plant is going to last?  And if you have to go back in the house, take the laptop with you.

[Quickbeam]

I think Randall sees Malik as the son he never had. Which is annoying.

I loved Kevin’s even keel handling of Toby’s outrage. Calm, throw it at me, not the babies’ mother. 
 

Deja is growing up really pretty. 

[3 is enough]

26 minutes ago, meep.meep said:

And if you have to go back in the house, take the laptop with you.

Yes! that was my first thought.  Especially after they got robbed and Randall freaked out about home security.  Has he forgotten already?

[Blakeston]

5 hours ago, chocolatine said:

 

Respect for elders is big in most cultures, as is the stereotype of the judgmental grandparents. I didn't see it as a Black stereotype at all.

It may just be the shows that I've watched, but the dynamic I'm seeing with Beth's mother is one I very rarely see in white families on TV and in movies.

Like when Randall offered her some advice on getting through to Beth, and she said something like, "You're not telling me how to talk to my own daughter, are you?" And he immediately said, "No ma'am!"

I mean, Rebecca's mother was a pill, but IIRC the Pearsons never interacted with her in that kind of a way.

I haven't personally seen many white families depicted with that kind of rigid formality unless it's a military family, or there's an abusive father in the picture.

[LexieLily]

7 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I LOVE THIS SPEECH. I can quote it. "Cliff, tell me: have you ever been to Wilmington for donuts?"

"SHUT UP!!! Don't you dare open your mouth when I'm asking you a question!"

[PRgal]

4 hours ago, MissLucas said:

It's Basil, Isaac Basil *greensteeling*

No.  It’s Isaac de Basil.  Because that’s what he is.  Until he becomes Isaac de Pesto. 

[Empress1]

Just now, LexieLily said:

"SHUT UP!!! Don't you dare open your mouth when I'm asking you a question!"

“RUDY! GO TO BED.”

[LexieLily]

21 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

“RUDY! GO TO BED.”

Maybe Annie can be listening at the top of the stairs when one of the sisters gets yelled at, lol.

[TivoFan]

IIRC, Madison had a career as an event planner

[debraran]

7 hours ago, LexieLily said:

Maybe Annie can be listening at the top of the stairs when one of the sisters gets yelled at, lol.

Classic mom  

 

[Boo Boo]

I enjoyed this episode but guffawed when Kate said she finished school.  How was that not a major storyline?  No wonder Toby considers her unflappable -- she apparently got a college degree without ever cracking open a book to study all the while being a mom to a toddler!

I totally got where Toby was coming from this episode.  Kevin should've only offered support in the way of, "You'll get something really soon" and then pulled Kate aside to say "I'm here if you need any $ to help out while he's looking for a job."   The nanny comment was out of bounds, but overall I understood and thought it was one of the more realistic reactions -- I'm a woman with pride and would not want someone already trying to pay my way.  

Randall and the duck lips comment was perfection.

 

Edited March 18, 2021 by Boo Boo

[Katy M]

57 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

I enjoyed this episode but guffawed when Kate said she finished school.  How was that not a major storyline?  No wonder Toby considers her unflappable -- she apparently got a college degree without ever cracking open a book to study all the while being a mom to a toddler!

Wasn't she still pregnant when they had the graduation party?  Wasn't that the same day she was in the car with Kevin and he wad drunk so he had to call an ambulance for her?

[Boo Boo]

2 minutes ago, Katy M said:

Wasn't she still pregnant when they had the graduation party?  Wasn't that the same day she was in the car with Kevin and he wad drunk so he had to call an ambulance for her?

Oh shit, I guess I missed that episode or just forgot about it!  

But still, we still never saw her struggling through college did we? Like she got upset b/c she couldn't Pearson speech her way into being a non-degreed music teacher, so she just finished college but never seemed to ever have to study for a test on the show? 

Edited March 18, 2021 by Boo Boo

[tennisgurl]

17 hours ago, Quickbeam said:

I loved Kevin’s even keel handling of Toby’s outrage. Calm, throw it at me, not the babies’ mother. 

I really appreciate that Kevin was quick to jump in when Toby started going in on Madison. He was very apologetic when Toby started yelling at him, probably he realized that he had been acting rather clueless, but he stopped him right away when he started trying to throw shade at Madison for having a nanny. The poor woman just birthed twins in the middle of a pandemic under very stressful circumstances, let the women have her help in peace. I also wish that Kate had said something when Toby started yelling at Madison, isn't she Kate's best friend? Shouldn't she try to stand up for her?

[Lone Wolf]

 

On 3/16/2021 at 7:18 PM, ItCouldBeWorse said:

Another issue that bugs:  Toby taking care of Hailey during a very important job interview.  

I locked up our cats when I Zoom interviewed, just to make sure that no one started yowling in the background.  However, I'll cop to wearing sweatpants with a jacket and tie during.  I guess the contrast with boxers was supposed to be funny...operative phrase being "supposed to be".

The notion and result of Toby trying to covertly rock a cradle with a golf club while maintaining some degree of professionalism was about as realistic and predictable as the rest of Toby's story line.  Who didn't see his dinner blowup coming (other than apparently oblivious Kevin)?   

And speaking of dinner - how good did that sushi and sashimi spread look.  Tobes should have done some compartmentalizing for no other reason than just so everyone else could enjoy it.     

Also, I've gotten my share of rejection notices after an interview, but never via text. Is that the tech version of breaking up on a Post-it (©Berger)?   

 

 

Edited March 18, 2021 by Lone Wolf

[ShelleySue]

Mr. ShelleySue was just starting a business and I was unemployed when first born baby was born.  We could not have made it through without the help of Mr. ShelleySue's father.  Now Mr. ShelleySue has a thriving business that employees 20 people (including me), we have three children and our house is paid in for.  I'm not sure what would have happened if we were too proud to have accepted help.  Family is family and it wasn't as if my father-in-law had to make any sacrifices to help us, which is what Kevin's point was.  I know that Toby took it as boasting which made it worse for Toby,  but I saw it as Kevin trying to explain why Toby shouldn't feel guilty accepting it.

Last week I rewatched Strangers: Part 2.  I don't know how I missed the irony/juxtaposition the first time.  Toby talked about how he decided to adopt a baby because he wanted Baby Jack to siblings like Kate has siblings.  Then at the end of the episode Kevin tells Randall that the worst thing that happened to him was when his parents brought home (ie adopted) Randall.  It really hit me when I rewatched the episode.  But I thought about it when I was watching I've Got This. Toby had realized how important siblings were but completely rebuffed Kevin's ideas of raising the kids together, having a family compound, financial assistance, etc. Kevin summed it up in the very end by basically discussing the difference between extended and nuclear families just as Randall's nuclear family was turning into an extended family.  I just love this show.

[circumvent]

I don't have all the words to convey it but the plot of Toby wearing a suit with shorts, while caring for a baby during a job interview was more nuanced than just a (not) funny moment/interview blunder. We also had Jack in a suit during something that was by all accounts a job interview, and the caring for the family - as in money troubles. The compromises needed - Rebecca takes charge of the family budget, Kate suggests going back to work. It was subtle and maybe it didn't work so well - it did for me, I had no problem with the interview/baby/background/dress code stress - but it was interesting imo.

[Blakeston]

I don't think Toby was attacking Madison when he commented on the nanny. He was pointing out that Madison and Kevin have luxuries that he and Kate don't.

I can see why Madison and Kevin might be bothered by that, in a "we may have luxuries but we still work hard" kind of way, but I don't think Toby was in any way coming for her.

[Alexander Pope]

On 3/17/2021 at 8:59 AM, txhorns79 said:

The mean part of me was thinking that maybe Phylicia Rashad was a better parent than Beth?  I get that it's grandma v. mom, but she certainly seemed to have a better handle on the kids than Beth did, and they responded to her much more respectfully than they did their mother.  I also feel like Phylicia Rashad could just give those kids a look, and they would immediately fall into line.  

I think that is Phylicia's super power! she learned it after all those years on the Cosby Show! also if you want to see kids who are really out of line and awful to their mom, watch BETTER THINGS.  I love the show but often hate the kids.

[BC4ME]

On 3/17/2021 at 9:32 AM, RedbirdNelly said:

I saw a lot of imperfect but understandable behavior.

This ^^

I totally felt Kevin wanting to build a compound and have everyone living there, the cousins playing, etc. Whatever attachment he had for his family before, he's fresh on having two new kids. I thought it was a sweet but naive response to his new life. Becoming a parent is a heady thing. I'm not always a Keven fan but pretty much everything he did at supper seemed like brand new parent love and generosity. He is happy. He wants to share and spread it around.