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S05.E11: Cabin Fever

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The crew enjoys a day off at an exclusive beach club in Mallorca, but concerns arise when Hannah stays behind to nurse an illness. Romance is in the air when Malia’s boyfriend Tom arrives for a visit, while Alex takes stock of his relationship with Bugsy, and Jess offers Rob a bold invitation. With Kiko off the boat, Captain Sandy struggles to find a suitable replacement.

Airs August 10, 2020.

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20 minutes ago, pieinmyeye said:

There’s Bugs. Once again looking like a Claire’s store threw up on her.

I wonder if she has matching huge hair clips and earrings in a variety of colors?

I’ve had periods of extreme stress that have caused me to get either an actual ulcer or close to it and I feel like my stomach is going to kill me.  I wonder if that’s what was going on with Hannah, rather than her “faking it” to not hang out with the crew as they all suspected.  Of course, when that happens with me I generally don’t drink alcohol or eat curry...so maybe not.

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Surprise, surprise... this is not playing out as the previews showed.  Does the Maritime Rulebook also have laws about couples getting everything they want?


I mean, unlike what Andy said the cabin request did not lead to Hannah's derangement...

Edited by FlyingEgret
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4 minutes ago, Rhetorica said:

Malia is just so fucking smug. I hope she has her comeuppance...

Someone needs to PM me (because I won't be watching) if there is an episode where Malia's smug cloud collides with the smug from George Clooney's Academy Awards Acceptance speech, and the smug emitted from hybrids and causes the boat to sink.

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I think they need to amend the Maritime law regarding prescription drugs. I can maybe understand showing/telling the captain, what you’re taking, but why should they have to give them to the captain and then track the captain down to get THEIR prescribed drugs? Also, a weed pen? That’s a new one on me.

Ugh, Malia and Bugsy. Do not like these heifers at all!!! 
Fuck those two heifers and the boats they floated in on.

Edited by pieinmyeye
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4 minutes ago, spunky said:

Malia is nothing more than a conniving, sniveling, little hefa. She, Sandy and Bugsy can all get the hell off of my screen. I hope all the charter guests hate every single meal that Tom cooks. Who ever created the rule that couples should room together must love drama, with the way these people hookup and break up every five minutes.

Malia conceded on WWHL that it isn't a rule.  Its a capitulation Captains make if someone they want to hire is in a relationship with someone that works on boats too.

Edited by ParadoxLost
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6 minutes ago, esco1822 said:

I love that Malia wants to present herself as such a professional and say it was her duty to report the drugs. Um, so why didn’t you report them to Sandy when you told her all about Hannah’s “freak-out?” I might have some respect for her position had she done that, but she didn’t. Instead, she used it as a bargaining chip, which is just gross. There’s nothing noble, honorable or professional about that.

I still suspect that Malia probably did report as soon as she found out and production needed to separate the drama.  Three things drive me that way:

  • Sandy announcing the bunk arrangements for everyone over the radio instead of talking to Hannah shows that Sandy had a level of confidence that she wouldn't have to pay the repercussions of that later. I high;y doubt Sandy would have ever considered that this could be edited in a way that viewers would come down mostly on Hannah's side.  That was Sandy giving into her impulse to kick at Hanhah while she was down.
  • Hannah skipping their day off because she ate bad curry.  That is awfully convenient, both the day off and Hannah being able to skip it.  Either stuff with production was going on or Hannah was already fired and they were just waiting to film it.
  • I suspect Malia sent a picture because Sandy and Malia couldn't pull off that Malia was reporting this for the first time, a second time.

And bravo to Bravo for throwing Malia under the boat by nudging her in whatever way they did to have a diva tantrum between finding the medication and turning Hannah in so it looks retaliatory.

And even if all of the above is true.  I'm still not on Malia's side on this.

There have been one too many episode where Malia is talking shit to Hannah's stews about Hannah.  Not professional.

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39 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

Malia conceded on WWHL that it isn't a rule.  Its a capitulation Captains make if someone they want to hire is in a relationship with someone that works on boats too.

Yeah she did say it was up to the Captain whether or not to fire the person.  So of course Sandy who’s always had a grudge against Hannah chooses to fire her though it was a prescription and she was fully aware of Hannah’s panic disorder.

I found the back waxing scene hilarious.  I love how Alex is so game to sacrifice himself for the amusement of others.  Though I was really hoping that he would yell ‘whoa Kelly Clarkson!’

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10 minutes ago, esco1822 said:

Where was all this “man up and share a cabin!” nonsense when Bugs straight up said no?? I am 100% team Hannah on this topic.

Exactly!!!  Malia was much more accepting of the fact that, when asked, Bugs immediately said "Oh NO!!!"  

I do wonder about some producer manipulation here, but these three women (Sandy, Malia and Bugsy) really gaslighted Hannah and screwed her over royally.  

I wonder if the shadow (Pete) will try to hook up with the next stew who comes in.  

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1 minute ago, jkitty said:

This is what I am hoping. I hope she just says “fuck you, I don’t need this shit.” And walks off. It’s what they deserve. 

I hate that any woman in a position of power on this show (outside of chief stew) is shown as grossly incompetent, a total conniving bitch, or both. I am dropping bravo shows like flies the last year. This one might be biting the dust for me. And probably Below Deck OG after the bruh crew and losing Kate. I don’t have room for this misogyny in my life anymore. Blah. 

Also, Sandy’s little flex on the radio to show off for Malia was one of the most unprofessional things I have seen on these shows. That’s something f. 

The thing that makes this kind of stuff unbearable to watch is that you always know with these Bravo shows that there will be no accountability for any of it.  Even cast members that aren't coming back don't get taken to task for their behavior.  

I do find two things are a bit of instant karma.

Hannah should be close to giving birth if there is a zoom reunion, and whether she attends or not, they are going to catch a world of shit if they go after her during it.

They've reached the Pete has revealed himself to be so awful that he's fully edited out of the show portion of the season.  Now they've got two lovey dovey couples, the boring Bugsy/Alex, Sandy, and some replacement stew I suppose.  Sounds like a recipe for dull with moment of rage inducing self congratulation on their level of awesomeness.

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52 minutes ago, 65mickey said:

Andy and Malia I think keep referring to Valium as a narcotic. It is not. It is a controled substance but not a narcotic.  

Right! It’s an anxiolytic. Dumbass Andy and Malia!

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12 minutes ago, Rhetorica said:

Oh, me! me! me! I'm also 5'2". But I have a few years on her. Older and wiser!

Me too.....plus, my Dad taught me some moves that I'm betting Malia has never seen (and, I've never forgotten!!) 

As I said earlier, Malia has shown her true colors.  I'm all for women advancing in fields that are predominantly "male", but do it the right way.  Nasty bitch-moves like she displayed tonight do her absolutely NO favors.  In her future, no woman on board will trust her and neither will any guys.  

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