S05.E11: Cabin Fever

[OnceSane]

Quote

The crew enjoys a day off at an exclusive beach club in Mallorca, but concerns arise when Hannah stays behind to nurse an illness. Romance is in the air when Malia’s boyfriend Tom arrives for a visit, while Alex takes stock of his relationship with Bugsy, and Jess offers Rob a bold invitation. With Kiko off the boat, Captain Sandy struggles to find a suitable replacement.

Airs August 10, 2020.

[Kayz Opinion]

Poor, sweet Kiko.  Will we ever see him again?

[The Ringo Kidd]

Kiko is on Instagram being the kind gentleman that he has always been. He asks that we don’t blame anyone else and that we just be kind. 
 

He is a good man.

That ain’t me.

Sandy is trash.

[Kiki777]

Kiko is too good for Bravo.  I’d love to see him on a cooking show or something.

[65mickey]

"With Kiko off the boat, Captain Sandy struggles to find a suitable replacement."  Yeah sure she does. 

[pieinmyeye]

There’s Bugs. Once again looking like a Claire’s store threw up on her.

Edited August 11, 2020 by pieinmyeye

[TexasGal]

20 minutes ago, pieinmyeye said:

There’s Bugs. Once again looking like a Claire’s store threw up on her.

I wonder if she has matching huge hair clips and earrings in a variety of colors?

I’ve had periods of extreme stress that have caused me to get either an actual ulcer or close to it and I feel like my stomach is going to kill me.  I wonder if that’s what was going on with Hannah, rather than her “faking it” to not hang out with the crew as they all suspected.  Of course, when that happens with me I generally don’t drink alcohol or eat curry...so maybe not.

[FlyingEgret]

Surprise, surprise... this is not playing out as the previews showed.  Does the Maritime Rulebook also have laws about couples getting everything they want?

 

I mean, unlike what Andy said the cabin request did not lead to Hannah's derangement...

Edited August 11, 2020 by FlyingEgret

[TeeMo]

I am a long-standing member of the “Hannah is Awful” club but I am 100% Team Hannah in this cabin debate. Malia is being completely unreasonable. And what kind of dumbass rule is this that couples must room together? With the way these people hook up and break up that is just asking for chaos. 

[tvfanatic13]

Fuck your Sandy. Fuck you Malia. Fuck you Bugsy. Fuck the hell off. Gah!!

[biakbiak]

13 minutes ago, TexasGal said:

wonder if she has matching huge hair clips and earrings in a variety of colors?

Based on IG, yes yes she does. She is the type of person who thinks wacky fashion choices equals a personality.

[Guest]

Well that went down just about the way I expected it to go down from the previews.

Malia throws a tantrum over not being able to share bunks with their boyfriends.

Bugsy immediately uses the new rooming situation to take pictures of Hannah's medication and text Sandy.

All that really surprised me was

the level of tantrum Malia threw

Sandy humoring Malia's tantrum over the radio instead of talking to Hannah.

Malia and Bugsy were both in on turning Hannah in (from WWHL).  I thought it would be one or the other.

I am completely convinced that Malia, Bugsy, and Sandy conspired on this one.

I think I'm out after this week.

 

Edited August 11, 2020 by ParadoxLost

[blixie]

Quote

Bugsy immediately uses the new rooming situation to take pictures of Hannah's medication and text Sandy

It was Malia before she left the cabin, not Bugsy after. 

Fuuuuuuuuck Malia. Disingenuous snake. Entitled bitch about not bunking with her boyfriend. 

I mean Hannah is very much only mediocre at her job, but they are making me Team Hannah all day.

[Rhetorica]

Malia is just so fucking smug. I hope she has her comeuppance...

[njbchlover]

11 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

Well that went down just about the way I expected it to go down from the previews.

Malia throws a tantrum over not being able to share bunks with their boyfriends.

Bugsy immediately uses the new rooming situation to take pictures of Hannah's medication and text Sandy.

All that really surprised me was

the level of tantrum Malia threw

Sandy humoring Malia's tantrum over the radio instead of talking to Hannah.

Malia and Bugsy were both in on turning Hannah in (from WWHL).  I thought it would be one or the other.

I am completely convinced that Malia, Bugsy, and Sandy conspired on this one.

I think I'm out after this week.

 

Wasn't that Malia?  I thought it was her voice that said "oh shit" and then, the sound (or sound effect) of a photo snap from a cell phone.

But, I completely agree with you.  I'm not a huge fan of Hannah, either, and actually didn't like her for a long time, but this is just another Bravo "pile on".  

Sandy, Malia and Bugsy can seriously fuck off.....

Malia sounded like a petulant, spoiled child with Sandy and Sandy was the overindulgent "mom" giving in to her spoiled child.  And, Malia manipulated that whole conversation.  She knew that Sandy is enamored with Bugsy, so instead of blaming BOTH Hannah and Bugsy for not wanting to share a room together, she made it sound like it was only Hannah that didn't want to share.  

Edited August 11, 2020 by njbchlover

[snarts]

I'll just leave this here.

Yeah, I'm out. It's like Sandy & her sycophants fancy themselves the stars of the show. Are they paying Alex to feign interest in Bugs?  'Cause that would explain a lot!

Malia's throws a ittle tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants. It's pathetic & embarrassing. I can't imagine this little charade will help their careers. I know i wouldn't hire them. Snakes.

[Guest]

1 minute ago, blixie said:

It was Malia before she left the cabin, not Bugsy after. 

Fuuuuuuuuck Malia. Disingenuous snake. Entitled bitch about not bunking with her boyfriend. 

I mean Hannah is very much only mediocre at her job, but they are making me Team Hannah all day.

Thanks for the clarification.

So entirely retaliatory then.  If she had reported it immediately, I would have been fine with it.  But she waited until after she pitched her entitled little fit.   Nope.  I don't now if I'm Team Hannah.  But I  loathe Mailia.

[Grundoon59]

I have watched all seasons of all versions of Below Deck - loved some, liked some and gritted my teeth through some.  Tonight may well be the end for me and Med.  As others have said, Hannah has not always been a favorite but this was flat out enough to make me Team Hannah.  

Malia wants her way and woe be to anyone who doesn't get out of the way.  Bugsy had reservations about the living arrangements too but it was all played as Hannah being the Wicked Witch of the West. 

The drugs are going to be used as a reason to boot Hannah and boost Bugsy.  Sandy played this all kinds of wrong.  I am glad Hannah is happy in her off boat life.  I have little desire to watch the mean girls at play.

Edited August 11, 2020 by Grundoon59
Grammatical error

[Jel]

Malia needs to move shows, to rhobh. Her and her vindictive set ups would fit right in. 

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, Rhetorica said:

Malia is just so fucking smug. I hope she has her comeuppance...

Someone needs to PM me (because I won't be watching) if there is an episode where Malia's smug cloud collides with the smug from George Clooney's Academy Awards Acceptance speech, and the smug emitted from hybrids and causes the boat to sink.

[spunky]

Malia is nothing more than a conniving, sniveling, little hefa. She, Sandy and Bugsy can all get the hell off of my screen. I hope all the charter guests hate every single meal that Tom cooks. Who ever created the rule that couples should room together must love drama, with the way these people hookup and break up every five minutes.

[pieinmyeye]

I think they need to amend the Maritime law regarding prescription drugs. I can maybe understand showing/telling the captain, what you’re taking, but why should they have to give them to the captain and then track the captain down to get THEIR prescribed drugs? Also, a weed pen? That’s a new one on me.
 

Ugh, Malia and Bugsy. Do not like these heifers at all!!! 
Fuck those two heifers and the boats they floated in on.

Edited August 11, 2020 by pieinmyeye

[blixie]

Go Hannah, take that smug entitled self righteous Malia to the woodshed.

I don't wanna get to hype about this since I still think it was all pretty planned and choreographed (Tom for Kiko, Bugs for Hannah), but still did Bravo et all think people were going to clutch pearls and go along with this SECRET DRUG ADDICT edit?

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, spunky said:

Malia is nothing more than a conniving, sniveling, little hefa. She, Sandy and Bugsy can all get the hell off of my screen. I hope all the charter guests hate every single meal that Tom cooks. Who ever created the rule that couples should room together must love drama, with the way these people hookup and break up every five minutes.

Malia conceded on WWHL that it isn't a rule.  Its a capitulation Captains make if someone they want to hire is in a relationship with someone that works on boats too.

Edited August 11, 2020 by ParadoxLost

[Marley]

Ugh I just keep liking Malia less and less with every episode that goes by. She’s just a dumb bitch. Bugsy sucks too her and Malia seem to think so high of themselves.

Yuck I don’t wanna see Malia and Ton being all schmoopy. This all just seems so set up it’s gross.

If this is what the rest of the show is gonna be like I might quit watching.

Who cares Hannah didn’t go with them.

Ugh again Malia is such a bitch. She runs to her idol Sandy about the cabin situation. Malia totally blames Hannah for the bunk thing but her little buddy Bugsy didn’t wanna bunk with Hannah either. How pathetic Sandy goes on the radio. Yea that was so professional. Ugh blech. 

Way to go Sandy and Malia you ruined this season and maybe the show.

Not even a Hannah fan but what a disgusting way to treat her with the so called drug stuff lol.

Edited August 11, 2020 by Marley

[65mickey]

Andy and Malia I think keep referring to Valium as a narcotic. It is not. It is a controled substance but not a narcotic.  

[spunky]

1 minute ago, ParadoxLost said:

Malia conceded on WWHL that it isn't a rule.  Its a capitulation Captain's make if someone they want to hire is in a relationship with someone that works on boats too.

I’m usually against violence, but someone needs to slap the smugness out of Malia.

[njbchlover]

7 minutes ago, pieinmyeye said:

I think they need to amend the Maritime law regarding prescription drugs. I can maybe understand showing/telling the captain, what you’re taking, but why should they have to give them to the captain and then track the captain down to get THEIR prescribed drugs? Also, a weed pen? That’s a new one on me.
 

Ugh, Malia and Bugsy. Do not like these heifers at all!!!

I still don't understand Malia's "understanding" of Maritime law.  Captain Lee found out during the season that Cat (second stew) on Season 1 and Season 2 of BD was taking a prescription for anxiety and it wasn't a big deal.  Joao also posted something very different from what Malia posted.  I think Malia just wanted to get Hannah off the boat so she could further become Sandy's "best pet" so she did whatever she could.

Malia is a little bitch, and I would never want to work with her.  Untrustworthy.  The "real" Malia (the one that was screwing around with Adam and the other bosun) - two faced, sneaky and selfish has finally shown herself again.  Chef Tom better be careful and not piss her off!!  

Edited August 11, 2020 by njbchlover

[Lady of nod]

So if watching poor Kiko get canned and publicly humiliated by the cunt of the sea wasn't enough to make me hate this show last week, now we have Sandy's cunt in training bringing on bf as new chef (surprise, no surprise) and demanding everyone accommodate their need to bang, and throwing Hannah under the bus for prescription drugs. 

This used to be a fun show. Now it's just a rhobh style pile on at sea. 

[esco1822]

I love that Malia wants to present herself as such a professional and say it was her duty to report the drugs. Um, so why didn’t you report them to Sandy when you told her all about Hannah’s “freak-out?” I might have some respect for her position had she done that, but she didn’t. Instead, she used it as a bargaining chip, which is just gross. There’s nothing noble, honorable or professional about that.

[PaperTree]

Malia is a rat!  Seems so proud of herself on WWHL.  Bugs is such a nasty suck-up.  She forgot to wear her table decor tonight.

"I love the table decor on her head and neck"  LOL!

Run, Tom, Run!  Sandy is toxic, Malia is a nasty bitch.  He is making a huge mistake.  We all saw this coming.

The knives are out for Hannah.  Sandy's "motherly" BS is really grating.

To the whole crew's credit, they don't get blackout drunk on their nights out.

Did we really have to see that back waxing?

Princess Malia has to run and whine to Sandy so she can sleep with her squeeze.  So now everybody has to move all their stuff around.  Then she goes full rat.  I hope some karma finds her.

Valium is not a narcotic!

Twitter should be fun tonight 🙂 

[65mickey]

6 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

Malia conceded on WWHL that it isn't a rule.  Its a capitulation Captains make if someone they want to hire is in a relationship with someone that works on boats too.

What I heard her say is when people are hired to work on a boat and they are a couple they usually share a cabin. This makes sense. But neither of these couples were hired as a couple. Rob and Jess hooked up after they were hired. This didn't become an issue until Sandy's little pet got her boyfriend a job on the boat ans she pitched a fit and demanded they be given their own cabin.  And since no one has brought his up I must say that the scene with Jess and Rob crawling all over each other and her bare ass sticking up in the air was not what I wanted to see. After the sailing yacht show and now this Bravo seems to be going in the direction of less about the charters and more about the gross PDA. 

[blixie]

Quote

Andy and Malia I think keep referring to Valium as a narcotic

Malia is for sure mischaracterizing Valium but Andy is saying Hanna had a weed pen to justify all this bs. Hannah says it's cbd. I believe Hannah.

 

[njbchlover]

22 minutes ago, snarts said:

I'll just leave this here.

Yeah, I'm out. It's like Sandy & her sycophants fancy themselves the stars of the show. Are they paying Alex to feign interest in Bugs?  'Cause that would explain a lot!

Malia's throws a ittle tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants. It's pathetic & embarrassing. I can't imagine this little charade will help their careers. I know i wouldn't hire them. Snakes.

So, did Malia go inside Hannah's handbag or other personal item (toiletry bag, etc.) to pull out these items to "pose" them for a photo??  Can't imagine they were just lying around so neatly like that.  

I am getting angrier and angrier over this!!  

I really hope all these cute little couples make the charters horrible because they'll all be too busy with each other.  I also didn't expect to watch an updated version of "The Love Boat" for the remainder of the season.  

[AttackTurtle]

28 minutes ago, Rhetorica said:

Malia is just so fucking smug. I hope she has her comeuppance...

But she’s just so little and cute.  She showed this same entitled behavior her first season.

[Jack Sampson]

Were I Hannah, I'd throw Malia a beating and go out in a blaze of glory!

[PaperTree]

I would like to see Hannah pack her bags and walk.

It would serve Sandy and Bugs right.  I would feel sorry for Jess.  She seems like a good person, just a little "eccentric".

[Guest]

6 minutes ago, esco1822 said:

I love that Malia wants to present herself as such a professional and say it was her duty to report the drugs. Um, so why didn’t you report them to Sandy when you told her all about Hannah’s “freak-out?” I might have some respect for her position had she done that, but she didn’t. Instead, she used it as a bargaining chip, which is just gross. There’s nothing noble, honorable or professional about that.

I still suspect that Malia probably did report as soon as she found out and production needed to separate the drama.  Three things drive me that way:

• Sandy announcing the bunk arrangements for everyone over the radio instead of talking to Hannah shows that Sandy had a level of confidence that she wouldn't have to pay the repercussions of that later. I high;y doubt Sandy would have ever considered that this could be edited in a way that viewers would come down mostly on Hannah's side.  That was Sandy giving into her impulse to kick at Hanhah while she was down.
• Hannah skipping their day off because she ate bad curry.  That is awfully convenient, both the day off and Hannah being able to skip it.  Either stuff with production was going on or Hannah was already fired and they were just waiting to film it.
• I suspect Malia sent a picture because Sandy and Malia couldn't pull off that Malia was reporting this for the first time, a second time.

And bravo to Bravo for throwing Malia under the boat by nudging her in whatever way they did to have a diva tantrum between finding the medication and turning Hannah in so it looks retaliatory.

And even if all of the above is true.  I'm still not on Malia's side on this.

There have been one too many episode where Malia is talking shit to Hannah's stews about Hannah.  Not professional.

[jkitty]

1 minute ago, PaperTree said:

I would like to see Hannah pack her bags and walk.

It would serve Sandy and Bugs right.  I would feel sorry for Jess.  She seems like a good person, just a little "eccentric".

This is what I am hoping. I hope she just says “fuck you, I don’t need this shit.” And walks off. It’s what they deserve. 
 

I hate that any woman in a position of power on this show (outside of chief stew) is shown as grossly incompetent, a total conniving bitch, or both. I am dropping bravo shows like flies the last year. This one might be biting the dust for me. And probably Below Deck OG after the bruh crew and losing Kate. I don’t have room for this misogyny in my life anymore. Blah. 

Also, Sandy’s little flex on the radio to show off for Malia was one of the most unprofessional things I have seen on these shows. That’s something f. 

[esco1822]

Where was all this “man up and share a cabin!” nonsense when Bugs straight up said no?? I am 100% team Hannah on this topic.

[Rhetorica]

38 minutes ago, spunky said:

I’m usually against violence, but someone needs to slap the smugness out of Malia.

Oh, me! me! me! I'm also 5'2". But I have a few years on her. Older and wiser!

[Kiki777]

39 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

Malia conceded on WWHL that it isn't a rule.  Its a capitulation Captains make if someone they want to hire is in a relationship with someone that works on boats too.

Yeah she did say it was up to the Captain whether or not to fire the person.  So of course Sandy who’s always had a grudge against Hannah chooses to fire her though it was a prescription and she was fully aware of Hannah’s panic disorder.

I found the back waxing scene hilarious.  I love how Alex is so game to sacrifice himself for the amusement of others.  Though I was really hoping that he would yell ‘whoa Kelly Clarkson!’

[65mickey]

Hannah said on Twitter that Malia went into their cabin after the fight about changing cabins. Malia went through her bag and took pictures of the prescription bittle and the CBD.  If this is true this seems to be a big invasion of privacy. She knew Hannah had Valium and she wanted proof to rat her out to Sandy. 

[njbchlover]

10 minutes ago, esco1822 said:

Where was all this “man up and share a cabin!” nonsense when Bugs straight up said no?? I am 100% team Hannah on this topic.

Exactly!!!  Malia was much more accepting of the fact that, when asked, Bugs immediately said "Oh NO!!!"  

I do wonder about some producer manipulation here, but these three women (Sandy, Malia and Bugsy) really gaslighted Hannah and screwed her over royally.  

I wonder if the shadow (Pete) will try to hook up with the next stew who comes in.  

[Guest]

1 minute ago, jkitty said:

This is what I am hoping. I hope she just says “fuck you, I don’t need this shit.” And walks off. It’s what they deserve. 
 

I hate that any woman in a position of power on this show (outside of chief stew) is shown as grossly incompetent, a total conniving bitch, or both. I am dropping bravo shows like flies the last year. This one might be biting the dust for me. And probably Below Deck OG after the bruh crew and losing Kate. I don’t have room for this misogyny in my life anymore. Blah. 

Also, Sandy’s little flex on the radio to show off for Malia was one of the most unprofessional things I have seen on these shows. That’s something f. 

The thing that makes this kind of stuff unbearable to watch is that you always know with these Bravo shows that there will be no accountability for any of it.  Even cast members that aren't coming back don't get taken to task for their behavior.  

I do find two things are a bit of instant karma.

Hannah should be close to giving birth if there is a zoom reunion, and whether she attends or not, they are going to catch a world of shit if they go after her during it.

They've reached the Pete has revealed himself to be so awful that he's fully edited out of the show portion of the season.  Now they've got two lovey dovey couples, the boring Bugsy/Alex, Sandy, and some replacement stew I suppose.  Sounds like a recipe for dull with moment of rage inducing self congratulation on their level of awesomeness.

[Jel]

52 minutes ago, 65mickey said:

Andy and Malia I think keep referring to Valium as a narcotic. It is not. It is a controled substance but not a narcotic.  

Right! It’s an anxiolytic. Dumbass Andy and Malia!

[njbchlover]

12 minutes ago, Rhetorica said:

Oh, me! me! me! I'm also 5'2". But I have a few years on her. Older and wiser!

Me too.....plus, my Dad taught me some moves that I'm betting Malia has never seen (and, I've never forgotten!!) 

As I said earlier, Malia has shown her true colors.  I'm all for women advancing in fields that are predominantly "male", but do it the right way.  Nasty bitch-moves like she displayed tonight do her absolutely NO favors.  In her future, no woman on board will trust her and neither will any guys.  

[njbchlover]

6 minutes ago, 65mickey said:

Hannah said on Twitter that Malia went into their cabin after the fight about changing cabins. Malia went through her bag and took pictures of the prescription bittle and the CBD.  If this is true this seems to be a big invasion of privacy. She knew Hannah had Valium and she wanted proof to rat her out to Sandy. 

Hannah also said that CBD is legal in Spain.  CBD oils contain no THC, and they work wonders for people with anxiety~~even children and pets!!!  Why Andy and Malia kept referring to it as a "weed pen" and also referring to the Valium as a narcotic (when it's not) was just disgusting!  

[Kiki777]

Yeah Tom needs to run far and run fast.  He seems like a decent guy so far - well except for the whole ‘taking an unscheduled detour en route to see your dying uncle so you can film a reality show with your girlfriend’ thing.

[65mickey]

Hannah also said that as chief stew she was given the responsibility of assigning cabins and Sandy took this away from her without a discussion. I assume she was referring to Sandy getting on the radio and announcing that Malia got her way. That was the most outrageous display of unprofessional bahavior by someone in Sandy's position. I hope she gets blasted at the renunion for this.