S05.E06: Ultimatums And Ugly Truths

[HorrrGoodnight]

Oh the irony of Amercans being concerned about whether or not they're traveling to a "corrupt" country 

[Mom2twoNonna2-3]

7 hours ago, athousandclowns said:

The dress looked like a nightgown and the furry slippers where on I guess so she could slip her feet into the water. ( didn’t pack flip flops I guess)  
My late husband was Russian and when his dad died we flew immediately to PA and already missed one ceremony. I had little experience with funerals and only packed  one funeral dress not knowing it would go on for days. hard core rituals.  
Surly the brother sister-in-law know she was going through the motion / baptism so they could get married in the church and have the baby baptized.  What would indicate that she wanted to take their religion on were they church going couple before? I don’t think it’s an act he’s a jerk. 
I have it hard to believe Angela doesn’t loose her shit while caregiving.  I also don’t believe she’s a certified nurses aide. She takes care of her mother and the state pays her to do that.  
 

They were wearing winter coats so I'd imagine the Ugg slippers were better than flip flops.

 

For the person who asked about where the mother of Angela's grandkids are, you need to go to the couples thread as I'm not sure it was ever disclosed on the show, but, suffice to say, currently she is not in a position to care for her children.

[Grifter Lives]

3 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

I believe Andrei said he used to be a policeman in Moldova, and that's scary to me.    I can see him not being the best person to run into when he gets a taste of power over other people.   With the venue tour this week, Libby and Andrei looked like they were very close to a physical argument. 

 

 

Moldovan Police Officer, according to his friend at the ugly bar.  And Bouncer at a bar in Ireland where single women got into trouble for dancing or dressing provocatively.  (I forget his exact objection to the Coven's classy bacheloretter party with white stretch limo.)

Maybe he and Syngin can open their own Irish bar in yet another 90 Day Fiance spinoff.

[Grifter Lives]

4 hours ago, magemaud said:

A couple of weeks ago there was a big discussion of this, maybe on their couples thread. I had said you only get baptized once, as a Christian, no matter the denomination but others said the Orthodox church doesn't necessarily recognize all church baptisms as valid. This could be the case with the Baptists because, unlike many Christian denominations who baptize babies, they wait until later in life when they have reached the "age of reason" to immerse the person. Babies can have a "dedication" ceremony where the parents vow to raise the child as a Christian. Maybe Libby was never "dunked" and is Baptist in name only and hasn't actually been raised in the religion. 

If she could prove that she was baptized in the Trinity, the Orthodox Church would accept it and allow her to marry.  If she wanted to convert from Baptist to Orthodox, she'd need to receive the sacrament of Chrismation.  However, Libby seemed unprepared and unqualified for either Chrismation or Baptism - since the first mention seemed to be the sister-in-law's declaration on Moldovan Night 1.  

The ceremony itself was a baptism - possibly because she had no proof that she had been baptized before.  But, the frauds are that (1) it would have occurred in any Orthodox Church at all, since she was completely unprepared (besides the white dress and head covering), unknown to the priest, uneducated in the faith, never attended a service, and never expressed an interest, much less a desire, and (2) it was an absolute requirement for their wedding.  

Andrrei and Libby have to be married in the Orthodox Church for the Church to recognize the marriage so that Eleanor can be baptized in the Church  They could have been married in the Church if Libby could prove her own baptism.  Andrrei had to have proved that he was baptized Orthodox and in good standing with the Church.

The next frauds will be all about Eleanor's baptism.  It looks like Andrrei's brother and sister-in-law served as Libby's godparents.  Yet, they will also be the koumbari at Andrrei and Libby's wedding.  So, traditionally, they would be asked to be Eleanor's godparents, too.  And, they are running out of time in Moldova to plan and execute both the wedding and baptism, since their trip is 3 weeks total.  

Edited July 21, 2020 by Grifter Lives

[Texasmom1970]

Just a few things. I love Andrei’s parents they are both so welcoming and kind.

I am with Debbie on the TMI bus. Nobody, and I mean nobody wants to know Jess is loud. Aaack!

What the hell was Larissa wearing to her lunch with Ericee. Was that shit supposed to be a dress. Because usually a dress is long enough to cover your cooch!

[DanaMB]

I really can’t stand Larissa. She needs to be deported. She has three arrests and has nothing to offer. Why is she still here? She’s not even pleasant. She had one good line during her original season. Go away. 

[renatae]

15 hours ago, Dobian said:

That whole scene was so staged, they were sitting there in a row like they were waiting for their cue from the director.

I agree with others that Angela's reaction was probably not staged, but I do believe the three girl appearance was a setup.

[Takitaki]

20 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

While learning another language is difficult, I still don't understand why a person marries someone who has a different language and who's family speaks a different language doesn't learn it.  Libby has had time.  If Libby spoke Andrei's language, she may be better able to communicate, but, that's a guess.  I don't think either of them care to do that, really.  She seems very annoyed with all things and he is impossible to be around. Andrei is verbally abusive.  Toxic relationship.  I wonder if Libby would be that way if with a normal person.  I suspect Andrei would be toxic like he is, regardless.  His family is likely, secretly happy he is living elsewhere. The really sad thing is that that kind of dynamic can lead to someone getting seriously hurt or worse. As well as the young child being at risk is unacceptable.   He seems very close to getting physical and then last night Libby says she cold assault him. Something about hitting him or slapping him.  That's just NOT acceptable at all.  It came from Libby, although, Andrei seems the one more prone to violence. It's not okay and to go on with a marriage, with that kind of discord and toxicity is really disgusting.  They are worried about food at a reception, when they should be concerned with their physical safety, mental health, and welfare of their child.  They have it all mixed up.  

I think Libby can speak a fair bit of Romanian and has definitely spoken more of her spouse's language than most people on the show. Learning a language is a long process, especially when you're not immersed in it. She has mentioned she is learning more than once and often says stuff in Romanian.

Edited July 21, 2020 by Takitaki

[TwirlyGirly]

Libby & Andrei

Andrei was 100% right, IMO, in regards to not providing "American food" for their Moldovian wedding.

If Andrei's family had been able to attend their Florida wedding, a request to provide special Moldovian food for his family would have resulted in The Coven insisting "When they're in America, they'll eat American food or go hungry!"

Furthermore, I doubt Andrei's family would have expected, or asked for, Moldovian food at an American wedding. They're polite people. They would have tried everything, and kept their mouths shut even if nothing was to their liking.

The only thing Libby and I agree upon is the need to sample the food. (You can sample the dishes at many wedding venues that have in-house catering, and many independent caterers likewise offer tastings).

Andrei should have translated what the event coordinator said - that the chefs weren't there and that's why they couldn't prepare a tasting. Then Libby could have asked whether there would be a time available in the next couple of days when they could taste the food.(Provided she liked the venue aside from that - which she didn't).

Colt & Jess & Debbie - Oh my!

Colt, you can either have a close relationship with your mother, or a romantic relationship with a woman of your choosing.

Pick one or the other.

While it's true most men can have both relationships simultaneously, most men don't have a mother like yours.

Debbie can - and will - sabotage every romantic relationship you have. She can't bear the thought of another woman having more influence over you than she does.

It makes no difference how beautiful, intelligent, kind, etc., a woman you love may be. Your mother sees every woman as a threat. 

So you either distance yourself from Debbie and find yourself a woman now, or continue to allow Debbie to control your life until she dies.

Colt, you're currently still riding the crest of your 15 minutes of fame. It's the only thing attracting women to you. But the clock's ticking, and you're gonna start sliding down from that mountain crest any minute (and sliding down takes far less time than the climb up - KWIM?). 

So, if you don't do something now, you're going to have to accept your mother as your girlfriend-by-proxy until she dies, then you'll spend the rest of your life alone.

Got it?

Angela and Michael:

Angela, you are controlling, emotionally and physically abusive, and one of the most insecure women I've ever seen.

You say you don't trust Michael, but something I heard a psychologist say many years ago made so much sense I never forgot it.

They said when someone claims they doesn't trust the person with whom they're in a relationship, it's really they don't trust themselves to be able to handle it if their partner does something that hurts them.

Angela, you think you can avoid being hurt by Michael by controlling every aspect of his life. But you can't, because logically you cannot be with Michael every moment of every day. So you'll always be questioning everything he's doing every second you're not with him. 

Because you don't trust yourself, you'll never be able to trust Michael (or any other man), no matter what he does or doesn't do. 

When we keep people we don't trust in our lives, trying to control their every waking moment, they often end up doing exactly what we most feared them doing. 

By blaming them for doing something they haven't done, eventually they realize they might as well do it - because they're already paying the price for doing it anyway.

That's not sustainable long term. 

Get help, Angela. For your anger, your issues with emotional and physical abuse, and for your insecurities. 

Leave Michael to find a woman who will love him, trust him, and is able to bear him the child he wants, and his culture expects.

Asuelu and Kalani:

Is Low aware threatening someone with bodily harm is a crime - even if you never actually attack them - in both Utah and California?

If Low wants to set an example for Asuelu as to how to handle conflict, he needs to quit with both the veiled and overt threats of physical violence towards Asuelu.

FTR, I don't think Asuelu has any developmental delays at all.

When I was 21, I was very good friends with Puerto Rican guy, José, I met in one of the discos I used to go to.

José spoke Spanish and what little English he knew he spoke very slowly; his grammar was poor and his vocabulary, basic.

One day the two of us were visiting my best friend. Her little sister had one of her friends, Mario, over for a visit. Mario was also Puerto Rican but fully fluent in both Spanish and English.

When José met Mario, the two of them started blabbing non-stop in Spanish; José was so excited to be around another Spanish speaker the two of them went into another room and talked to each other for over an hour.

Later, after José left, Mario said "Damn that guy is smart!" and told us José didn't speak the Puerto Rican dialect of Spanish; he spoke Castilian Spanish (the formal, or "proper" Spanish spoken in Spain).

He also mentioned my friend having an "incredible" vocabulary and that he was  quite knowledgeable on a variety of subjects.

But his command (or lack thereof) of English made many people think he was "slow". That may be the case with Asuelu, too. 

When Asuelu was talking to Low last night, he said when he's speaking with Kalani, he's thinking in Samoan and then trying to translate his thoughts to English. 

That confirmed for me Asuelu's issue is one of language, not intelligence.

Asuelu would be well served by a male role model to teach him about American cultural norms relating to spousal relationships specifically and gender roles generally - but Asuelu can't look to Low to fulfill that role.

What man would accept as a role model a father-in-law he knows disapproves of him and has threatened him with physical violence?

My heart kind of broke for Asuelu during the scene in an earlier episode. Kalani, Asuelu, Low, Lisa, and Kolini were in the kitchen, discussing the trip to Samoa during the measles outbreak. Someone asked Asuelu what he thought, and he replied (paraphrasing) it didn't really matter, because everyone would support Kalani and he had no family or friends to support him - and that's how it always was.

Not that I think Asuelu, Kalani, and the kids should have made the trip to Samoa. But the way Kalani talks to Asuelu about issues in which they disagree makes the situation worse, and really hurts Asuelu.

Kalani frequently responds to Asuelu with an attitude of "Of course it's this way - why don't you know this?"

She rarely seems to take into account Asuelu spent the first 21+ years of his life inculcated with Samoan culture and beliefs - with little exposure to American beliefs and ways of doing things.  

And then when Asuelu responds to Kalani according to his 21+ years of previously lived experience, she gets upset, tells her family about it, and they all take her side.

We've seen this same dynamic play out with other 90 Day Fiance couples, and IMO, it's sad.

I just wish Kalani would consider how quickly and easily she would adapt to Samoan culture and beliefs if that was expected of her, if they moved to Samoa.

TL/DR: It's okay. This episode really got me riled up, hence the thesis length post! 

[bravofan27]

I'm not a huge Andrei fan, but I don't think Libby or her family are that likable either. Libby "brags" about being raised to be independent, but she can't do anything by herself or for herself and her family speaks over her and is constantly criticizing her-- surprise, just like Andrie. Her worrying about her family liking the food-- I get being concerned about having food people will eat (like vegetarian, gluten free, etc) but she's just trying to have American food there so her family won't complain and make a huge issue over it. It seems like they are pretty controlling to me. Point-- Libby is anything BUT independent. She also complains about a lot and so does her family. They don't seem very warm and loving to me, and the fact that Libby is comfortable with being talked down to by Andrei constantly (despite her little angry faces) she doesn't put up much opposition, seems to suggest she was raised with a lot of control. Her talking about her "voice" was laughable, since she doesn't follow through or make Andrei nor her family accountable for anything that she "voices" to them.

I'm LOVING the showdown between Jess, Debbie, and Colt. I cant tell who is on whose side. It's great. Colt's mom is just the worse. I can't wait to see Jess let her have it. She's like Colt's alter ego-- he's too cowardly to address issues and his insecurities, so he lays his mom on the problem. He's a dolt.

I felt bad for Michael. Things are getting a little too real for Angela. He's beyond delusional or has not been paying attention at all-- he not only thinks Angela will make dinner, but will live in Nigeria. Angela, who only eats processed food and food from cans, smokes cigarettes, and has a house full of little kids to take care of.

 

 

Edited July 21, 2020 by bravofan27

[CrazyInAlabama]

We should start a petition that Colt will never be shown in a swimsuit, or any other form fitting apparel that shows his short comings.  

[IvySpice]

1 hour ago, TwirlyGirly said:

If Andrei's family had been able to attend their Florida wedding, a request to provide special Moldovan food for his family would have resulted in The Coven insisting "When they're in America, they'll eat American food or go hungry!"

100% this. Even at a Moldovan wedding IN AMERICA, I would expect Moldovan food. In Moldova, shut up and smile and push the food around your plate. We are not talking about a cuisine of fried grasshoppers, warthog anus, and fermented shark. The national dish of Moldova is basically cheese grits, plus lots of pork. White-bread Americans can't make that work? That said, Andrei is an ass for expecting somebody else to pay for an event and have no say in how it is planned. The purchaser of a meal gets to take into account their own tastes, however ignorant or ethnocentric those tastes may be.

In sum, I don't like anyone in this storyline except Eleanor and Parents Andrei. They can all go to hell -- or, in the alternative, to Tampa.

[Rt66vintage]

22 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Well fellow posters something bad happened in my house last night, my husband breezed thru the room when Larissa was on the screen, she was trying to get Eric to pay for her augmentation and then "IT" happened, he said, (I am taking a deep breath now), "she is one of the more attractive women on this show," so now I have to divorce him, you all understand why, right?

I feel for you; my husband thinks Paola has a "beautiful face." There's just no accounting for taste.

[John M]

3 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

That confirmed for me Asuelu's issue is one of language, not intelligence.

Counterpoint, he ate an orange that was still green. He actually continued to attempt to eat it after realizing it was disgusting, spitting out each attempt but trudging onward with the gross orange.

[the-grey-lady]

I've watched Angela storm out of the expat meeting in a huff four times now.

I still don't know what she was so damn upset about.

And I don't understand why she can't go half an hour without shrieking like a banshee caught in a bear trap.

[1011101010001]

19 hours ago, Grifter Lives said:

And, of course, conversion requires more than a white dress, a head scarf and fuzzy slippers.

Well she did have a black puffy jacket.  She is told she has to wear all white and covers it in black.  I get that the church may not have been heated but come on.

[1011101010001]

17 hours ago, magemaud said:

This could be the case with the Baptists because, unlike many Christian denominations who baptize babies, they wait until later in life when they have reached the "age of reason" to immerse the person.

I was raised Roman Catholic and although you are baptized at birth when you are 13 (supposedly the age of reason) you undergo a confirmation sacrament where you sort of ratify the baptism by choosing the faith yourself.

[1011101010001]

16 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

On 7/20/2020 at 9:29 AM, KateHearts said:

 I agree about the conversion.  Don't you have to study for a bit?  It seems like they popped in and were like, "Thanks Padre!!"

Libby needs to get the constant need for her family's approval out of her head.  Now.

Holy hell Colt and Jess:  STOP WITH THE SEX TALK.  No one talks about it that much, no one thinks about it that much....do they?  Maybe at the Mustang Ranch, lol!!!!

My hubby and I are prepping ourselves now for the inevitable rabbit at the reception adn all the sour faces and rude comments:  "Ewww!!  They eat RABBIT?  What is this?  PORRIDGE?"  Just shut your piehole, eat and say thank you.

I think producers suggest rabbit because Lana ordered it with pasta and now it is being suggested for the wedding.  They know many viewers will have a visceral reaction.  There is a gastropub in my city that serves it and my dad has ordered it.

[1011101010001]

If Chuck doesn’t like the food it looks like he could stand to miss a meal.

[magemaud]

27 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

If Chuck doesn’t like the food it looks like he could stand to miss a meal.

or two or twenty. Just give him enough beer to get buzzed and hopefully shut him up. 

[TipseyGirl]

On 7/19/2020 at 8:41 PM, spunky said:

I'm not surprised by Libby's behavior surrounding the food.  We went to Spain for two weeks as part of our grad school program.  This one particular woman whined the entire time that she couldn't have American food. 

Geez. How horrible for everyone having to listen to her nonsense. 

[Stinamaia]

On 7/18/2020 at 5:27 AM, artisto said:

And...there's this:

https://nomadparadise.com/moldovan-food/

They had me with the polenta with cheese and sour cream. 

[Pondlass1]

Re eating rabbit and very off topic.

During WW2 Londoners were encouraged to keep rabbits for food because meat was going to be scarce during bombing. So my grandma and family kept a rabbit coop in the garden. Only issue ... the cute fluffy bunnies became cuddly pets. Grandma said once they named them there was no way they could eat them.

[TwirlyGirly]

4 hours ago, John M said:

Counterpoint, he ate an orange that was still green. He actually continued to attempt to eat it after realizing it was disgusting, spitting out each attempt but trudging onward with the gross orange.

I'm not entirely convinced that was an orange tree; it looked more like a lemon tree to me. Lemon trees are much more common in CA backyards, and lemons are also green before they ripen.

I'd have to watch the scene again, but IIRC, the fruit looked like it was turning yellow moreso than orange.

If I'm right, then Kalani didn't know they were lemons, not oranges, either...

Also...did you know color doesn't indicate ripeness in oranges, and that most supermarket oranges are dyed?

The FDA allows for oranges to be dyed using two methods; either with Citrus Red No. 2 or by subjecting them to ethylene gas.

Many oranges grown in CA are green when ripe (the FDA began to allow oranges to be dyed back in the 1950's, so CA orange growers could compete with FL orange growers, whose orange crops were more naturally orange).

The fact that CA oranges are often green when ripe, combined with both Asuelu and Kalani saying the fruit was sour, and that the tree looked more like a lemon tree to me (but I am not an expert in citrus trees!) leads me to believe they were eating unripe lemons, not oranges. 

[CrazyInAlabama]

In the baptism picture, Libby had on all white at the baptism, then she stepped in the baptism basin barefoot.   The Ugg slippers were just to walk in and out of the church.   

I'm betting the wedding lunch or meal will only be a few entrees, and there must be something that's up to Libby's family's classy standards.      Maybe the banquet hall can have Happy Meals catered by McDonald's which is right across the street.   

Edited July 24, 2020 by CrazyInAlabama

[Stinamaia]

9 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

Libby & Andrei

Andrei was 100% right, IMO, in regards to not providing "American food" for their Moldovian wedding.

If Andrei's family had been able to attend their Florida wedding, a request to provide special Moldovian food for his family would have resulted in The Coven insisting "When they're in America, they'll eat American food or go hungry!"

Furthermore, I doubt Andrei's family would have expected, or asked for, Moldovian food at an American wedding. They're polite people. They would have tried everything, and kept their mouths shut even if nothing was to their liking.

The only thing Libby and I agree upon is the need to sample the food. (You can sample the dishes at many wedding venues that have in-house catering, and many independent caterers likewise offer tastings).

Andrei should have translated what the event coordinator said - that the chefs weren't there and that's why they couldn't prepare a tasting. Then Libby could have asked whether there would be a time available in the next couple of days when they could taste the food.(Provided she liked the venue aside from that - which she didn't).

Colt & Jess & Debbie - Oh my!

Colt, you can either have a close relationship with your mother, or a romantic relationship with a woman of your choosing.

Pick one or the other.

While it's true most men can have both relationships simultaneously, most men don't have a mother like yours.

Debbie can - and will - sabotage every romantic relationship you have. She can't bear the thought of another woman having more influence over you than she does.

It makes no difference how beautiful, intelligent, kind, etc., a woman you love may be. Your mother sees every woman as a threat. 

So you either distance yourself from Debbie and find yourself a woman now, or continue to allow Debbie to control your life until she dies.

Colt, you're currently still riding the crest of your 15 minutes of fame. It's the only thing attracting women to you. But the clock's ticking, and you're gonna start sliding down from that mountain crest any minute (and sliding down takes far less time than the climb up - KWIM?). 

So, if you don't do something now, you're going to have to accept your mother as your girlfriend-by-proxy until she dies, then you'll spend the rest of your life alone.

Got it?

Angela and Michael:

Angela, you are controlling, emotionally and physically abusive, and one of the most insecure women I've ever seen.

You say you don't trust Michael, but something I heard a psychologist say many years ago made so much sense I never forgot it.

They said when someone claims they doesn't trust the person with whom they're in a relationship, it's really they don't trust themselves to be able to handle it if their partner does something that hurts them.

Angela, you think you can avoid being hurt by Michael by controlling every aspect of his life. But you can't, because logically you cannot be with Michael every moment of every day. So you'll always be questioning everything he's doing every second you're not with him. 

Because you don't trust yourself, you'll never be able to trust Michael (or any other man), no matter what he does or doesn't do. 

When we keep people we don't trust in our lives, trying to control their every waking moment, they often end up doing exactly what we most feared them doing. 

By blaming them for doing something they haven't done, eventually they realize they might as well do it - because they're already paying the price for doing it anyway.

That's not sustainable long term. 

Get help, Angela. For your anger, your issues with emotional and physical abuse, and for your insecurities. 

Leave Michael to find a woman who will love him, trust him, and is able to bear him the child he wants, and his culture expects.

Asuelu and Kalani:

Is Low aware threatening someone with bodily harm is a crime - even if you never actually attack them - in both Utah and California?

If Low wants to set an example for Asuelu as to how to handle conflict, he needs to quit with both the veiled and overt threats of physical violence towards Asuelu.

FTR, I don't think Asuelu has any developmental delays at all.

When I was 21, I was very good friends with Puerto Rican guy, José, I met in one of the discos I used to go to.

José spoke Spanish and what little English he knew he spoke very slowly; his grammar was poor and his vocabulary, basic.

One day the two of us were visiting my best friend. Her little sister had one of her friends, Mario, over for a visit. Mario was also Puerto Rican but fully fluent in both Spanish and English.

When José met Mario, the two of them started blabbing non-stop in Spanish; José was so excited to be around another Spanish speaker the two of them went into another room and talked to each other for over an hour.

Later, after José left, Mario said "Damn that guy is smart!" and told us José didn't speak the Puerto Rican dialect of Spanish; he spoke Castilian Spanish (the formal, or "proper" Spanish spoken in Spain).

He also mentioned my friend having an "incredible" vocabulary and that he was  quite knowledgeable on a variety of subjects.

But his command (or lack thereof) of English made many people think he was "slow". That may be the case with Asuelu, too. 

When Asuelu was talking to Low last night, he said when he's speaking with Kalani, he's thinking in Samoan and then trying to translate his thoughts to English. 

That confirmed for me Asuelu's issue is one of language, not intelligence.

Asuelu would be well served by a male role model to teach him about American cultural norms relating to spousal relationships specifically and gender roles generally - but Asuelu can't look to Low to fulfill that role.

What man would accept as a role model a father-in-law he knows disapproves of him and has threatened him with physical violence?

My heart kind of broke for Asuelu during the scene in an earlier episode. Kalani, Asuelu, Low, Lisa, and Kolini were in the kitchen, discussing the trip to Samoa during the measles outbreak. Someone asked Asuelu what he thought, and he replied (paraphrasing) it didn't really matter, because everyone would support Kalani and he had no family or friends to support him - and that's how it always was.

Not that I think Asuelu, Kalani, and the kids should have made the trip to Samoa. But the way Kalani talks to Asuelu about issues in which they disagree makes the situation worse, and really hurts Asuelu.

Kalani frequently responds to Asuelu with an attitude of "Of course it's this way - why don't you know this?"

She rarely seems to take into account Asuelu spent the first 21+ years of his life inculcated with Samoan culture and beliefs - with little exposure to American beliefs and ways of doing things.  

And then when Asuelu responds to Kalani according to his 21+ years of previously lived experience, she gets upset, tells her family about it, and they all take her side.

We've seen this same dynamic play out with other 90 Day Fiance couples, and IMO, it's sad.

I just wish Kalani would consider how quickly and easily she would adapt to Samoan culture and beliefs if that was expected of her, if they moved to Samoa.

TL/DR: It's okay. This episode really got me riled up, hence the thesis length post! 

This is what I think about Asuelu too.  I’ve been of the position of being the “slow” one because I could t speak the language. Also Kalani speaks over Asuela and treats him with contempt.   Yes, he was being pouty about not going to Samoa, but I had sympathy for him because no doubt he is homesick and wanting very much to see those who love and accept him.   To me thy both have anger issues.  Kalani is quick to be angry and instead of asking, “What do you mean?” she snaps back at him in rapid fluent English.  He can’t compete on a language level, so he lashes out crudely and inappropriately.  
 

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, TwirlyGirly said:

I'm not entirely convinced that was an orange tree; it looked more like a lemon tree to me. Lemon trees are much more common in CA backyards, and lemons are also green before they ripen.

I'd have to watch the scene again, but IIRC, the fruit looked like it was turning yellow moreso than orange.

If I'm right, then Kalani didn't know they were lemons, not oranges, either...

Also...did you know color doesn't indicate ripeness in oranges, and that most supermarket oranges are dyed?

The FDA allows for oranges to be dyed using two methods; either with Citrus Red No. 2 or by subjecting them to ethylene gas.

Many oranges grown in CA are green when ripe (the FDA began to allow oranges to be dyed back in the 1950's, so CA orange growers could compete with FL orange growers, whose orange crops were more naturally orange).

The fact that CA oranges are often green when ripe, combined with both Asuelu and Kalani saying the fruit was sour, and that the tree looked more like a lemon tree to me (but I am not an expert in citrus trees!) leads me to believe they were eating unripe lemons, not oranges. 

I thought they were shaped like lemons too.  It would be great to have a lemon tree.  

[Meowwww]

Larissa’s smug smile when Ericeeee paid for lunch said it all.  She wants to be bought and paid for.  That’s such an unattractive quality.  Plus she looks like she’s 49 years old and trying to reclaim her youth with fillers.  I hate being mean, but her attitude is so ugly. 
My parents came from Latvia.  Moldovan food looks like the food of my youth.  Meat jelly, yummmm.  We used to spread it on toast.  All the meats and dark rye bread and pickled fish and potatoes.  My mouth is watering. 
Libby is fretting about her family’s dietary stuff to create drama.  Her family will get there and create more drama.  Is that terrible sister in law coming?  Ugh. They are hoping to be the next Family Chantal.  It’s so transparent.  

[spunky]

5 hours ago, TipseyGirl said:

Geez. How horrible for everyone having to listen to her nonsense. 

We were over it by the end of the first week. 

[TwirlyGirly]

1 hour ago, MrBuhBye said:

I thought they were shaped like lemons too.  It would be great to have a lemon tree.  

IKR? I've read so many posts, both here and elsewhere, from Californians lamenting they have SO MANY lemons on their backyard tree they don't know what to do with them!

And here I am living in Rhode Island - in a climate in which I could never grow lemons - paying $5.00 for a small bag of lemons at the grocery store. I want to respond to those posts with "Just shut up about your lemon bounty now, please. K?"

And then I remember, eventually California is gonna break away from the continent and float away to God knows where - and say to myself:

"I may not be able to grow lemons in my backyard, but at least my state is firmly attached and prolly won't be going anywhere!" 😉

[1011101010001]

You can’t really make jelly or jam out of lemons but lemonade, lemon meringue pie, cakes, cookies.

[TwirlyGirly]

14 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

You can’t really make jelly or jam out of lemons but lemonade, lemon meringue pie, cakes, cookies.

And...lemon cheesecake, lemon curd, lemon bars, lemon posset, lemon ice cream, lemon sorbet...

I love me some lemons!

[magemaud]

5 hours ago, Meowwww said:

Is that terrible sister in law coming?  Ugh. They are hoping to be the next Family Chantal.  It’s so transparent.  

Depends on which terrible sister in law you mean. Only Libby's sister Jenn is coming, none of the milkmaids. 

3 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

You can’t really make jelly or jam out of lemons but lemonade, lemon meringue pie, cakes, cookies.

I had lemon marmalade in Italy that was to die for. 

[John M]

7 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

I'm not entirely convinced that was an orange tree; it looked more like a lemon tree to me. Lemon trees are much more common in CA backyards, and lemons are also green before they ripen.

I'd have to watch the scene again, but IIRC, the fruit looked like it was turning yellow moreso than orange.

If I'm right, then Kalani didn't know they were lemons, not oranges, either...

Also...did you know color doesn't indicate ripeness in oranges, and that most supermarket oranges are dyed?

The FDA allows for oranges to be dyed using two methods; either with Citrus Red No. 2 or by subjecting them to ethylene gas.

Many oranges grown in CA are green when ripe (the FDA began to allow oranges to be dyed back in the 1950's, so CA orange growers could compete with FL orange growers, whose orange crops were more naturally orange).

The fact that CA oranges are often green when ripe, combined with both Asuelu and Kalani saying the fruit was sour, and that the tree looked more like a lemon tree to me (but I am not an expert in citrus trees!) leads me to believe they were eating unripe lemons, not oranges. 

OK,  he was petulantly repeatedly attempting to eat a lemon he obviously found incredibly disgusting, my point still stands regardless of the type of citrus.

[CrazyInAlabama]

My guess is the first venue visit was to show that Libby has to pick a newer, nicer place to make her family happy (which won't happen anyway).   The first place said the cooks were off, so that was producer shenanigans again.     There is no way a wedding venue will be available for a wedding reception in two or three weeks.   You probably couldn't get an opening for a reception in less than a few months, and then you'll get whatever's left over, or a cancellation slot.        I know people who had to book a wedding venue at a hall where I live a year in advance, and they still didn't have a lot of choice, and had to go with the available times, and days.  

[Gobi]

9 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

And...lemon cheesecake, lemon curd, lemon bars, lemon posset, lemon ice cream, lemon sorbet...

I love me some lemons!

It would be nice to sit in one's yard and squeeze fresh lemon juice into a cup of tea.

[Baltimore Betty]

2 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

My guess is the first venue visit was to show that Libby has to pick a newer, nicer place to make her family happy (which won't happen anyway).   The first place said the cooks were off, so that was producer shenanigans again.     There is no way a wedding venue will be available for a wedding reception in two or three weeks.   You probably couldn't get an opening for a reception in less than a few months, and then you'll get whatever's left over, or a cancellation slot.        I know people who had to book a wedding venue at a hall where I live a year in advance, and they still didn't have a lot of choice, and had to go with the available times, and days.  

It is true about booking a venue way in advance but if you are willing to have a midweek or Friday night or Sunday wedding you can find an in demand venue much easier, do we know that Libby and the Caveman's wedding is a Saturday night or a less popular day and time of the week?  

Father Libby will pay for the wedding but what about a photographer, music, flowers, invitations...are those things included in the wedding venue as a one stop sort of thing that they offer?  If it is then the $5400 is an amazing price for a wedding.

My husband's daughters are Orthodox (Jewish), one of them just got married on a Wednesday, July 1, the wedding was planned in about 3 weeks.  The food had to be kosher and it is still a pandemic time so there was not a lot to chose from, luckily she found a place about that was available, being flexible really helps.

 

 

[nutella fitzgerald]

On 7/20/2020 at 6:34 PM, Silver Bells said:

Is Debbie ever going to wash her hair?  One minute in the shower.  Geeze!

Politely disagree. The hair on Deb (and Karine, and Jenny from TOW) makes me think of those oil spill ducks on the Dawn dish soap bottle. Scrubbing that grease out could take the better part of an afternoon.

[1011101010001]

8 hours ago, John M said:

OK,  he was petulantly repeatedly attempting to eat a lemon he obviously found incredibly disgusting, my point still stands regardless of the type of citrus.

It’s actually more stupid to eat a lemon than an unripe orange.

5 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

My guess is the first venue visit was to show that Libby has to pick a newer, nicer place to make her family happy (which won't happen anyway).   The first place said the cooks were off, so that was producer shenanigans again.     There is no way a wedding venue will be available for a wedding reception in two or three weeks.   You probably couldn't get an opening for a reception in less than a few months, and then you'll get whatever's left over, or a cancellation slot.        I know people who had to book a wedding venue at a hall where I live a year in advance, and they still didn't have a lot of choice, and had to go with the available times, and days.  

Andrei said it was winter in Moldova and venues would be available because not many weddings are scheduled then there.

[CrazyInAlabama]

My guess is that everything was set up for the wedding and reception long ago, and the hurry up wedding venue shopping was a sham for the show.   

[TipseyGirl]

10 hours ago, magemaud said:

I had lemon marmalade in Italy that was to die for. 

Oh my word. Yes!! The Italians know how to use their lemons.

[Caoimhe]

18 minutes ago, TipseyGirl said:

Oh my word. Yes!! The Italians know how to use their lemons.

Limoncello.

[magemaud]

2 minutes ago, ThereButFor said:

21 minutes ago, TipseyGirl said:

Oh my word. Yes!! The Italians know how to use their lemons.

Limoncello.

that, too! 

[charmed1]

On 7/20/2020 at 12:57 PM, Tango64 said:

Libby's comments about wanting American food at her wedding were outrageous. It's ONE MEAL. Can her family not take on a sense of adventure and explore her husband's culture for just the duration of a reception?

Years ago on a road trip to GA, I had to eat at the Waffle House with my group. I understand people go crazy for that place, but I agree with Jim Gaffigan. Waffle House tastes like if a truck stop opened up a restaurant in its bathroom. I asked the waitress if they offered turkey bacon. You would’ve thought I asked for caviar by her reaction. I sucked it up and ate eggs and toast until I got to my hotel. Libby’s dirty looking family can surely find something on their plates to eat at this contrived wedding. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

3 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

It’s actually more stupid to eat a lemon than an unripe orange.

I was riding my bike once and stopped to rest under an orange tree, and ate one, thinking it would be super refreshing.  I don't know anything about citrus, and it turned out to be unripe and it was awful.  I'd eat a lemon over that any day.

 

17 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

IKR? I've read so many posts, both here and elsewhere, from Californians lamenting they have SO MANY lemons on their backyard tree they don't know what to do with them!

In the San Jose area, I ran across a decent number of houses with boxes of lemons on the curb, for people to take.  And I did, as many as I could carry, to make lemonade.  I actually make a concentrate with lemons and simple syrup, and add water, or preferably carbonated water, when I want a glass of lemonade.  But a swig of the lemon-simple-syrup concentrate is divine.  And sticky.  I keep it in a jar and everything within six inches of it is a sticky mess. 

One thing I found out recently is that lemon trees are full of thorns or pointy things of some sort, and you can't just stick your arm in there.  So I prefer the box-on-the-curb to someone saying I can pick lemons off their tree.

[1011101010001]

2 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

3 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

 

I was riding my bike once and stopped to rest under an orange tree, and ate one, thinking it would be super refreshing.  I don't know anything about citrus, and it turned out to be unripe and it was awful.  I'd eat a lemon over that any day.

I wonder if some oranges are not meant for eating directly but are used to make products.  Like some apples can be used only for baking.

[nutella fitzgerald]

I would genuinely enjoy it if Asuelu turned out to be some kind of citrus expert and his chewing and spitting out of that fruit was a reasoned and thoughtful assessment as to whether it could be used in a jam, liqueur, or dessert of some kind, rather than a cranky man child acting out before packing up his toys and running away from home. 

[nytonc]

I’m so sick of vapid, brainless Elizabeth and her horrible pretentious family. Her remarks about the food that her family won’t like and the “I have no idea what’s going on” rituals in the Orthodox Church show just how ignorant she is.  Having Andrrrrei translate that her family won’t like Moldova because everything is old and they’re used to everything new, was beyond insensitive and insulting to Andrrrrei’s gracious family. Who says that?!?!  His father had to point out that the people in Moldova are good people.  That won’t mean shit to Elizabeth’s awful family.  She keeps complaining about Andrrrrei’s chauvinism.  Does she know who she married?  I’m convinced she only ever confronts Andrrrrei when cameras are rolling.  I don’t know if it’s because she’s afraid of him or she thinks the conflict makes her story line more interesting but it just makes her look like a spineless moron. Fuck her and her family! 

Uh oh someone woke the sleeping jealous bitch inside Debbie. Jess should have turned around and walked away when she saw that Colt and mommy were sharing a room.  I don’t know how she could miss that giant red flag flapping in the breeze.  I guess a woman who will put up with revolting flabby Colt in a Speedo will put up with anything.

This week’s award for most authentic person goes to Larissa, who told Eric he was cheap and should buy her boobs to prove his love for her.  She already looks like someone smacked her in the face with a frying pan and she wants to add big fake tits to the experiment?  I see another DV charge or three in her future so she better make good use of her limited time here and milk Eric for all he’s worth before she gets deported. I don’t get why Larissa rates her own segment in this franchise but at least she’s good for a mocking laugh or two.  

if Angela was so worried about her mother, why did she jet off to Nigeria?  Why the big rush to get married?  Did she manage to get pregnant with that one moldy aig? Her reaction to his friends, “them bitches”, was completely embarrassing for poor Mahkul. You’d think he would have learned by now that it’s not a good idea to take her out in public. I’ll never understand why he’s settling for a shit life of babysitting and nonstop bitching in the backwoods of Georgia. I know he desperately wants to come to the US but he needs to find a nice normal woman with more than one good aig and a healthy child-bearing capable uterus .

[1011101010001]

3 hours ago, nytonc said:

milk Eric for all he’s worth

Mind bleach!

[Mothra]

On 7/14/2020 at 7:53 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

Maybe McDonald's has a store in Moldova? Or KFC?, and then her picky family can have something for their sophisticated pallets.  

Libby's family is saved!   There's a McDonald's not far from Andrei's home town.   I wouldn't be surprised if Libby's relatives actually swing by Mickey D's on the way to the wedding, and every meal.     The spread that Andrei's mother put out for lunch was wonderful, and I bet banquet style Moldovan food is just as nice.     

Andrei said there's a McDonald's across the street from the venue, so the coven can get their food delivered.     That way they won't have to eat anything that might open their tastes to something besides McDonalds, or pizza. 

If Libby's family doesn't like the food served at the wedding reception, will their health suffer?  Is there no other food they could eat after the reception if the reception food doesn't taste good?  Why do they have to count on a full meal at this ceremony?  And like every one of these stupid Americans, they want their culture respected (and apparently represented) at the festive board.

And I've had rabbit, at a fancy French restaurant, en croute, and it did indeed taste a little like chicken.  I've never had a rabbit for a pet, so maybe that hardened my heart, but I found it delicious, mild and sweet.  Not everyone will enjoy it, of course, but it's not a disgusting unheard-of-in-the-civilized world food.  In St. Petersburg Russia we were warned that the cat-meat sandwiches sold at the train station were causing diarrhea, so don't eat them, because the resulting diarrhea might be mistaken for cholera and get you put off the train.

And one more thing.  Libby brags about how she and her sisters were raised to be "independent."  That's why she works for her father.  That's why the one thing Chuck stressed to Andale was that Libby's sisters married rich guys and expected to be driving around in Mercedeses.

And an extra thing:  The people in Moldova all are calling Andala "Andre" just like the French name.  They do not put their tongues through contortions that would challenge Monique Biles.  What a pretentious shit Libby is.  If we drink every time she says "my family" we'll all be in the ER with alcohol poisoning.