S04.E07: Who's Crying Now

[Mrs. Landingham]

On 4/4/2020 at 12:29 PM, Frozendiva said:

I still have my old 80s Samsonite set. They tend to topple over. I then got a two wheel the kind you tilt and push. I liked it because it had a hook to attach a smaller bag. I now have a had side and soft side set of spinners. 

Random flex: I still have my Pan Am carry on bag in that gorgeously cheesy 1970s shade of Pan Am blue. I love that thing. 

Back on topic: The human poop emoji Ed is welcome to “halik” my arse.

[renatae]

That scuz Tom did exactly as Darcy suspected. Has her travel to NY just like Jesse in order to let her down. I'm glad she didn't give the famewhore the time of day. He's got a lot of nerve.

Besides which, the way he emphasized his intention to cheap out on her - "coffee, not lunch" was so maddening.

Glad to see the last of his smug rear end. Arrivederci, baby.

Edited April 6, 2020 by renatae

[mamadrama]

3 minutes ago, Ucross said:

Is pot legal is Australia? I sure know you shouldn't fly with it! (Assuming any of us will fly again...) 

I'm enjoying the little glimpses of the foreign journeys...places I'll likely never go. The Australian side trip looks gorgeous (although why would she need a getaway when she just got away from the US)?

I don't know if everyone gets the same ads, but we're off Princess Toast and onto the Geico road service ad with the cute dorky girl and her hilarious howling little dog. The lower, out-of-tune howl at the end slays me! Owooooooooooo!

All last week my ads were for a company called "BJ" and wigs. Someone be watching 90DF...

[Ucross]

The Nigerian men's clothing -- tunic and pants outfits -- is stunning. Can women wear those too, and can you buy them in the US? The contrast between Usman's polished appearance and Lisa's slovenly attire is appalling. The Nigerian fabric looks like silk, how would you keep that pressed under the circumstances? It certainly is beautiful, though.

And why is Lisa speaking in these cropped mini-sentences, as if Usman isn't bilingual? Argh.

[Ucross]

5 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

All last week my ads were for a company called "BJ" and wigs. Someone be watching 90DF...

Wait...BJ or MJ???? LOLZ

[mamadrama]

Just now, Ucross said:

Wait...BJ or MJ???? LOLZ

Nope, you read that right. BJ. I wish I could remember what the product was. 

[Lily247]

14 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

The "dope" part doesn't bother me. I think marijuana should be legalized everywhere. But the taking of my child to the other side of the world? Yeah, not gonna happen. 

"Dope", can actually mean any recreational drug. While we know Avery loves marijuana, which is not illegal where she is, her usage of dope could hypothetically mean any drug(s). Avery doesnt look like a drug addict, however, even using the word dope would make me not want my child around her. 

[mamadrama]

Ed, you fucker, Rose is poor but she has pride in her town and home. The two aren't mutually exclusive. You can still want to upgrade your life while also having appreciation of where you're from. He's an ass. "Third world country" or not, I'd have been excited to be there. It's interesting looking, the people seem to be friendly, and it's a part of HER. Keep that negative shit to yourself, or at least vent to a friend afterwards. Don't show your ass in front of her friends and family. 

[Ucross]

1 minute ago, Lily247 said:

"Dope", can actually mean any recreational drug. While we know Avery loves marijuana, which is not illegal where she is, her usage of dope could hypothetically mean any drug(s). Avery doesnt look like a drug addict, however, even using the word dope would make me not want my child around her. 

I live near a dispensary. The clientele is perfectly peaceful and friendly, but sometimes confused. 

[mamadrama]

1 minute ago, Lily247 said:

"Dope", can actually mean any recreational drug. While we know Avery loves marijuana, which is not illegal where she is, her usage of dope could hypothetically mean any drug(s). Avery doesnt look like a drug addict, however, even using the word dope would make me not want my child around her. 

I understand what the word can mean, but until Avery makes a reference to any other kind of drug, I am going to assume that she is talking about marijuana. It COULD hypothetically mean something else, but this show has shown no signs that it does. I'm choosing to stay on-show topic.

[mamadrama]

Bad Egg: That's not a window, but that's okay. 

Dude, her family really isn't looking for your approval or consent, but thanks for offering it anyway. 

I like Erika. I'm not into chicks, and her hair looks like a box of Nerds, but I'd date her over Stephanie. Or Geoffrey. 

[Spike]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

hate this word, HATE it, but Tom "triggered" me. He reminds me of every asshole I've ever dated. He clearly wants to extend his 15 minutes and it's obvious that he thought he could on his own but now realizes he needs Darcey for it. When he asked her if she'd lost weight, I was hoping she'd ask him if he'd grown a dick yet. That fucker gets under MY skin and I don't even know him. 

His sister is 300 pounds and he thinks Darcey is fat.  

[Frozendiva]

Well, this was a week.

Ed and Rosemarie: All levels of creepiness. Insisting she take a bath and put on the hotel robe. And then moving in to massage her feet. Without asking if she liked to have her feet massaged. The happy dance at possibly the prospect of spending the night with her. Maybe he needed to shower first. No, I would not like him halicking me or my feet. She seemed uncomfortable with him and he wasn't on the same page, the same book, or the same library.  I was uncomfortable. She was an object for him. Not a person. Show some respect, give her some distance. He bought and paid for her company. The family home visit was tragic for him. No empathy, no compassion for her desperate circumstances in having to turn to someone like him for a possible escape. You know she does not really love you. Rude behavior at dinner, feeding the chicken that might end up as dinner next week. Sweating worse than a pig. Wonder how he will react to her sister, who asked for money. Rose's father is younger than you and it is a bit pervy for you to want his daughter. The whole thing stinks of rotting mayo.

Avery and Ash: What are they doing together? Does he take all the clients to Cairns. He's got buggy eyes that are making me uncomfortable. Will both their hustles make the relationship work? Not hugely invested in them. It's a nice fling for her.

Stephanie and Erika: Another odd pairing and maybe another way to showcase both women's hustles. For Stephanie to be so cool and so evolved and so bi, and flaunting herself and her assets on the Internet for any kind of financial support, her attraction to the bubbly Erika is odd. Stephanie also likes to talk about her illness and how it prevents her from doing things. Sure it does but there are workarounds. The booby art class was probably not the best idea, and Erika should have ran it past her first. Do it privately, maybe, or maybe 6 months in to your so-called soulmate relationship. Not a second 'date'. The dinner was a disaster. Maybe someone doesn't want a tiara - again a good idea gone bad. Who cares if someone has a dating app on the phone. None of your business. Just drama for the sake of drama.

Yolanda and Williams: Catfish down to the frying pan. Not answering the phone, not replying to texts. Hello, you have been used. How stupid can you be to not find out the airport name in Manchester or London. I Google unknown numbers - like weird 800 ones - to see who is calling me. A Nigeria number would have a specific country code. And you sent him some private photos? With your face on it? Expect blackmail lady. You are not rich or famous and except for your family or your employer, no one would have an interest. Hang up and get a new number.

Geoffrey and Varya: More nothing. Geoffrey, you do need to come clean to Varya about your past. Picking the wildflowers/weeds didn't have to happen. You could have easily gone to some shop and picked up some nice things for mom. A gift basket of food luxuries for her and maybe a bottle of whiskey or whatever she likes. Mom was making traditional Russian food, which he won't like. The mile-high comment was kinda gross. Siberia looked nice in the spring or summer and reminded me of here and especially Jasper or Banff.

Usman and Lisa: Usman grew a pair. At least he has a side gig as an accountant. No, Lisa should not be running him or his life. Her behaviour was gross and entitled. The sweatshirt and fried dirty hair and no makeup was awful. So he left you alone for a half hour. Big deal.  He needs to look at you seriously and if he can put up with your nastiness for however long it takes to get the Green Card and live in the US. Surely there are better women out there for him instead of Nasty Grandma. You do not belong in his world. You are no baby girl. You are vicious, smug, entitled piece of work. Usman was even wearing a supercool outfit. He is right in that all you do is complain and complain some more. No respect for him or his life choices. It's what you want and only what you want.

Darcey and Tom: Nice way to show control Tom, by stretching yourself out at the café. No man is entitled to make any comments about a woman's weight. Probably lording your own weight loss to make you more attractive and to extend your 10.5 minutes of fame.  Your being on the show has brought you some opportunities. Enjoy them as long as they last. Behave like a jerk and they won't come any more. Darcey probably hoped that you would apologize and make some amends, but she is right to walk away. Lose your number, lose contact.

[SunnyBeBe]

I don’t see Stephanie as using her illness as an excuse. She’s done everything she wanted to do like fly to Australia, visit zoo, etc. The stuff she hasn’t done is stuff she doesn’t feel comfortable with.  How old is Erika? She’s young, but sort of seems like a cartoon character. Her getup seems geared to distract people from her, the person. 

[Lily247]

I think Varya's mother's reaction was fairly unusual to Geoffrey, as he presented as reasonably atttactive and well mannered (aside from the flowers). Russian people are typically very hospitable to guests. I spent some time in Novosibirsk when I was a child and despite the cold temperatures, the people are warm to guests.  But the pelmeni they made are absolutely delicious. 

This episode was a boring disappointment. I have to get up in a few hours to work on the ICU floor in the morning and was hoping for some mindless laughs. 

Is Tom supposed to be 40 ? Really ?

 

Edited April 6, 2020 by Lily247

[mamadrama]

9 minutes ago, Spike said:

His sister is 300 pounds and he thinks Darcey is fat.  

Last season he looked like Hugh Grant and the chipmunks got together and had a baby with coke bloat and yet he thinks Darcey is fat. Dude... 

[Spike]

1 minute ago, mamadrama said:

Last season he looked like Hugh Grant and the chipmunks got together and had a baby with coke bloat and yet he thinks Darcey is fat. Dude... 

Yeah he was so out of shape that his 3O seconds of thrusting hobbled him.

[Lily247]

14 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I don’t see Stephanie as using her illness as an excuse. She’s done everything she wanted to do like fly to Australia, visit zoo, etc. The stuff she hasn’t done is stuff she doesn’t feel comfortable with.  How old is Erika? She’s young, but sort of seems like a cartoon character. Her getup seems geared to distract people from her, the person. 

Im not a fan of Erika's style. It looks like a lot of work and possibly makeup by Crayola. Stephanie, to me, looks gorgeous with her natural looking makeup. 

Edited April 6, 2020 by Lily247

[Spike]

1 minute ago, Lily247 said:

Im not a fan of Erika's style. It looks like a lot of work and possibly makeup by Crayola

It seems she is trying to distract from the roundness of her face.

[SunnyBeBe]

8 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

I think Varya's mother's reaction was fairly unusual to Geoffrey, as he presented as reasonably atttactive and well mannered (aside from the flowers). Russian people are typically very hospitable to guests. I spent some time in Novosibirsk when I was a child and despite the cold temperatures, the people are warm to guests.  

This episode was a boring disappointment. I have to get up in a few hours to work on the ICU floor in the morning and was hoping for some mindless laughs

Bless you. I hope you get your rest. I like these shows as a means of distraction too. 

[Major Bigtime]

I finally caught the rerun today. Where to begin ....

Ed needs to cut his hair, loose some weight before people start calling him Oompa-Loompa, and grow a pair! No wonder he’s been single so long, he’s a hot mess.

Darcey needs to hire a professional match-maker because so far her choices of men are all wrong. And stop doing that thing with your lips! Maybe Dumbo David and she should get together because he’s chasing a ghost.

Poor Yolanda is in for a rude awakening. All she’d have to do is take her laptop to police or a tech expert and they can tell her where all of her Nigerian Prince’s emails originated from. Because I don’t think she’s smart enough to figure out how to do that herself.

Usman needs to send Grandma packing back to the US. Go get your sexy women and redo the video. I couldn’t believe how bossy and bitchy she was being in HIS hometown!

Ash’s eyes scare the shit out of me!

Geoffrey ain’t a true Southern boy if he didn’t bring a nice gift, something from the US.

The lesbian girl from the US needs to go home. God, she was getting on my last good nerve.

I can’t believe all the insecure people on this show.

[Mrs. Landingham]

Avery and Ash, meh. This is a prime example of people who should be friends with benefits and nothing more. 

[Lily247]

11 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Bless you. I hope you get your rest. I like these shows as a means of distraction too. 

thank you 💙

[SunnyBeBe]

I can’t stand it when someone wakes me up in the morning being all chipper, talking, making silly comments.....ticks me off. It’s one of my pet peeves. And if they woke me up to tell me to shave my legs......someone might get hurt. Lol

Edited April 6, 2020 by SunnyBeBe

[Lily247]

While on the topic, Im bored of seeing every season fiances from Russia /Ukraine, the Phillipines, Thailand, Tuninsia, its the same storyline every season and getting tired. Would love to see the real 90 day fiance show with brides/grooms from Europe, China, maybe some traditional family arranged ones from Pakistan or Middle Eastern countries. No mail order bs, love rats, or dirt-poor folks looking for a way out. producers reading this? this is The Learning Channel ?! i want to learn !

[Spike]

2 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I can’t stand it when someone wakes me up in the morning being all chipper, talking, making silly comments.....ticks me off. It’s one of my pet peeves.

Yes don’t speak to me until I have my coffee.

[Texasmom1970]

Poor Rose; I would a “Silkwood” shower after having sex with him.

Darcey maybe you need to be alone for a while and focus on yourself and being happy without a man.

Tom, cannot believe you asked her if she gained weight. Oh hell no! I have seen many men in our society criticizing a woman for not looking like a Victorias Secret model. While they are slobs.

Ed please cut your hair it is not flattering at all! 

 

[jackjill89]

3 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I can’t stand it when someone wakes me up in the morning being all chipper, talking, making silly comments.....ticks me off. It’s one of my pet peeves.

He's done this to her twice. I would punch him. 

[alotmorestupider]

There’s nothing like discussing your entire relationship’s future over pink glitter paint and tit molds and two perfect strangers. I don’t believe Steph and Erica’s relationship for a single second and they are boring as fuckkkk. 
 

Yolanda’s story is equally boring and is dragging out forever. I did like her make up at the coffeehouse and I love an older lady with a bold eye. “How could he be Nigerian with a British accent?” Yes, that is impossible Yolanda. Does it drive anyone else insane hearing her call him Wi-yims? 
 

I had to physically suppress the bile rising in my throat watching Ed massage Rose and asking to “halik” her. I could never be a prostitute. Just looking at his face was so revolting, I cannot for the life of me imagine him naked. What in God’s name happened to his neck? He turns his whole body every time he wants to look at something. The nauseated look on Rose’s face the morning after was how we all collectively felt watching their scenes. It gives me fresh perspective on how cushy my quarantined life is compared to someone who has to sleep with Ed or live in abject poverty with a young child forever. 

I wonder how lackluster the casting choices were for this season for the producers to put Darcy and Tom on again. He rambled some crap about coming with an open heart and she spouted some gibberish about deserving better but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before and it’s BORING. He does look great after the weight loss and his glasses really suit him. “Did you put on weight?” I wish he’d had the guts to repeat it louder cuz you know she would’ve stewed on that for weeks. 

[Frozendiva]

Ed reminded me of an aging Meatloaf type with long hair. Wouldn't want to see that first thing in the AM.

[Callaphera]

3 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

producers reading this? this is The Learning Channel ?! i want to learn !

I think they ditched the idea of educational programming a loooong time ago and officially changed the name of the channel to just TLC back in the early 2000s. It was all downhill after the Toddlers and Tiaras/Extreme Couponing/Jon and Kate Plus Eight era. 

I blame Kate Gosselin. Because why not, it's fun. 

[Spike]

2 minutes ago, alotmorestupider said:

He turns his whole body every time he wants to look at something

They had these toys in the 70s called Weebles.  He also looks like those Russian stacking dolls.  He’s probably bummed that if he were an inch shorter he could be on one of the many dwarf shows.

[Auntie Anxiety]

1 hour ago, renatae said:

 

That scuz Tom did exactly as Darcy suspected. 

Besides which, the way he emphasized his intention to cheap out on her - "coffee, not lunch" was so maddening

 

Tom must have figured that if they met for lunch, she’d end up flouncing out of the restaurant without eating a bite and he’d get stuck with the bill.

[OldButHappy]

1 hour ago, kendi said:

Stephanie will use her illness to stop her from doing anything that makes her uncomfortable. And Erika told her, EVERYTHING MAKES HER UNCOMFORTABLE! Such a connection, yeah?

Exactly.

Reminds me of the "Cacao" sketch on Portlandia..

[Frozendiva]

Before I got laid off, I occasionally saw an African man and his wife on the train on my ride in to work. Sometimes he wore non-Western clothing and beautiful fabric outfits. I always stared admiringly. The outfits were gorgeous. Maybe he noticed, maybe he didn't.

[mamadrama]

Tom's frantically lashing out at her because it just hit him that, without Darcey, his 15 minutes are up. 

Stephanie keeps saying things about what she's like online and how Erika may have the wrong perception of her. You two DID have actual conversations before meeting, right? Because if Erika's perception is ONLY based on Stephanie's YouTube channel then that's a problem-and it's not Erika's.

[CSunshine76]

15 minutes ago, Spike said:

They had these toys in the 70s called Weebles.  He also looks like those Russian stacking dolls.  He’s probably bummed that if he were an inch shorter he could be on one of the many dwarf shows.

Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down! Ed, to a tee! It’s all I will ever see.

[kendi]

22 minutes ago, OldButHappy said:

Exactly.

Reminds me of the "Cacao" sketch on Portlandia..

HA! I love that skit! Stephanie would be saying it non stop too.

[Dobian]

3 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I feel sorry for Erica. I don’t believe Stephanie is a lesbian. I have a feeling she is doing the show for publicity and is going to try and find anything to get out of their “relationship”. 

I was calling this out from the first episode.  Stephanie is a social media narcissist and a fraud.  Then when she gets called out on her crap she starts whining and blubbering about how no one understands her.  I think Erika is starting to understand her perfectly.

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

Late to the party but I dig Usmans 2 piece suit and the cool hats. What are these uniforms called and why doesnt Mykull and company wear them ?

Big Ed needs that beard to give him the appearance of a neck! 

Ash's eyeballs bug ! Hard to watch. 

[gavinmac]

I thought it was quite bad form for Ed, immediately upon meeting Rose's father, to make a "joke" that he's a year older than the dad. 

No father has a baby girl and dreams that when she's 23 she'll be a single mom forced to date a trollish 54 year old from a wealthier country just to get out of poverty. For Ed to sort of remind the guy in front of the family  "I'm older than you but I get to date your daughter because you're a poor Filipino and I'm a white American" was really quite offensive.  Of course, the father and everyone else in rose's family still very much want Ed to marry her.

I notice that Rose follows the typical and bizarre 90DF single mom script of "fall in love with guy I've never met and immediately train my kid to call him Dad."  Why? And equally weird are these dudes who meet single moms online and then instantly want to hug their kids and be called Dad.   Why not just shake the kid's hand and say "I'm Ed, nice to meet you." Is that so hard? 

 

[Ucross]

2 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

Siberia looked nice in the spring or summer and reminded me of here and especially Jasper or Banff.

I thought so too! I am loving these glimpses of off-the-beaten-track non-destination places!

[InternetToughGuy]

Seeing how little attention my post from last week got is pathetic. Since I can’t get attention from women my own age, my self esteem lay in the hands of women old enough to be my Mother. My counselor also implores you to prop up my self worth, as my mental state may plunge into the danger zone, though I think he’s expecting my expensive sessions to help with the down payment of his Ferrari rather than him giving a damn about me. Oh well.

***

JE-SUS. Lisa first thing in the morning makes me pick up a wreath of garlic and a wooden cross to try and ward off the evil. Usman probably stepped out to get some fresh air - certainly the streets and water canals lined with the open sewers are preferable to being in Lisa’s grasp under the blankets. Why is Lisa saying she was alone when the cameraman was clearly standing there?

Unless the reality of how deep a surveillance state we live in is finally dawning on me, perhaps the camera was embedded in the wall so a government agent could spy on her (this thinking explains why I’ve kicked a 6 foot wide crater in my drywall).

Usman’s statement of Lisa not being a God is the hottest mic drop moment of the season so far - if she were to be referred to as a deity in any way, it wouldn’t be Venus for the dual reasoning of her never shaving and if anything she is the goddess of infertility. The constant usage of the word Czar-ry must be a reference to Geoffrey’s power trip attitude in Russia.

Usman laying down the law is quite admirable, since western men raising their voice about any conflict is usually as loud as a dog whistle (and even this is reprimanded by a mandatory sleep on the couch).

***

I’ve been trying to craft something out of “Ed” (erectile dysfunction) and Philippines/Fill-A-Penis but it’s not coming. Sorry for being a stupid idiot. This Buffalo Bill scene of Ed rubbing lotion on her feet having goofy music is ill fitting, much like Ed trying to wear a shirt smaller than 3XL. Having Ed prostrate himself begging for affection has gotta be the most pathetic thing I’ve seen today other than my reflection in the mirror.

***

90 Day Fiance Self Quarantined - so no touching or speaking to each other less than 10 feet away? Sounds like how most long term relationships are anyways.

***

Trying to think of anything to say about Geoffrey and Varya has me drawing a blank, which is what Geoffrey’s tattoo artist should have done. Varya looked pretty cute on the plane - cute enough that I’d sit across from her pretending to be fully paralyzed and or mentally deficient in hopes of a pity kiss.

Has that strategy ever worked for anybody? Of course I’d just get up and walk off the plane like normal if it didn’t work. I wonder if that quaint Russian town is so far removed from civilization that they don’t have wifi - I can’t imagine not being able to shout my political stance at strangers online whenever I need a spike in blood pressure.

I thought Geoffrey’s remark about bringing his hugs and love was funny; do girlfriend’s Mothers really need or expect a gift? If Varya’s Mom is like the typical old Russian woman, those flowers will probably instantly wilt when she touches them.

***

I really shouldn’t watch this show in the local cafe, since anytime Darcey is on the screen, I start viciously punching my genital area in a southpaw style. I know she consists of enough green material that she should be folded up into your recycling bin, but I think she’s pretty hot - the current exchange rate is 1 Darcey = 100,000 Lisas (which is equaled to the Earth’s weight).

Darcey’s passive aggressiveness is lowering her attraction rapidly - someone give her another lip injection so she can’t speak. I guess his shunning of Darcey in his blackbook gives enough of a connection to call him Uncle Tom. About Tom’s other woman, I do wonder about his or other men’s ideas of one woman being enough. I can’t ask here, since this forum is 99% female and any men who post here aren’t attracted to women or can’t get them.

***

To try and understand Erika and Stephanie better, I’ve decided to hold my breath until I pass out and smash my head on the tile floor - the sharp drop in IQ will allow me to converse with them easier. “Maybe we could spend the rest of our lives together” - I’m guessing their lifetime together will last 5 years, since they’ll likely die from trying to take an epic selfie on the edge of a cliff.

I’d be the first to eagerly scream at the TV “take it all off!”, though I would beg on my knees for them to keep the makeup on. It’s best to air out their grievances in public as well as on camera…with their shirts off. How much attention do these girls need to survive?

***

Yolanda’s still image of her in the desert with that dumbstruck look on her face makes her look like she was dropped off from a spaceship in Area 51. Yolanda is almost old enough to fall under the category of tech-illiterate Grandma; I had to set up a new computer for my Grandma a few months ago and it was one of the most annoying things I've ever done.

I don’t recall Yolanda ordering hot chocolate at the cafe….oh, that’s Karra. Williams’ username is a slur? I guess he’s not the classy gentleman we thought he was, although I’m sure we agree it’s more likely he is a pimply faced teenager trying to make money off of the idiotic. What a coincidence Yolanda and Karra agreed “it sounded like a woman” when I was trying out (what I naively thought was) my masculine voice in case I’m ever confronted by anyone taller than 5’1.

***

I am so damn pathetic, I think the closest thing to Avery that I’ll ever have is pretending to be a security dog at the airport and sniffing Ash’s crotch for any remnants - Lord end me now. Ash’s eyes seemed to get bigger as his gaze went downwards to Avery’s rack. All these relationships seem to be “how much can he do and give me while I sit and absorb it like a sponge”, though it seems like they will implode at the end of a week, so it doesn’t really matter anyways.

***

The dreaded hour mark where I start wishing I was content with just saying “Ed is stinky” with a poo emoji and leaving it at that, but I only do walls of text. Damn, Ed looks like a teenager with that long hair, aside from the wrinkles. I really do applaud him having the long hair, though, since most men just have half an inch of hair and look like everyone else; it’s so boring.

Aside from getting the youngest girl he could (which is how most men think - cue arguments) what does he see in Rose? She’s boring as hell and seems genuinely dumb with the voice of what sounds like a broken pull string doll. Calling Marie a “cyst-er” is indicative of how much of a blemish she is on this relationship.

I find leg hair gross as well, I actually started lasering mine off (I have to clarify that this is actually a true statement, since everything I say is stupid). Women will never know the pain of turning around after a shower and looking in the mirror to see how hairy and revolting the male ass is. A real question - why do so many people who are poor still end up decently tall and somewhat heavy? I always theorized I didn’t reach my full height because I didn’t eat a lot in childhood, but that never seems to affect other people.

***

Do all relationships have this much conflict or is this one just the natural outcome of someone like Lisa existing? Like we all thought, he’s using Lisa to go to the U.S. for his career. Certainly he could’ve nabbed a girl who wouldn’t give him oral cancer from kissing. Usman trying to cling onto this relationship is like that psychotic guy who runs after the garbage truck for no reason - just let her (and the flies) go.

***

I am probably alone in thinking that Geoffrey is “cute”, as in his wide-eyed demeanor and smile is endearing or whatever. It’s nice how Varya’s Mom wore a dress with what appears to be the Russian alphabet on it, despite it not helping with comprehension at all, especially since Russian is a language meant only to depressingly mumble or shout in. It’s no return ticket home, but at least her Mother gave Geoffrey a free guilt trip.

***

If Williams is lying about his nationality, then I will go ahead and assume his physique is Photoshopped - anything to convince me that I don’t have to lift a finger as to fixing my health and can instead angrily shout at everyone around me and blame my past. Don’t I sound like a pleasure to date?

Are Yolanda’s earrings a hint at her being hooped? Damn, I gotta get some tips about game from Williams, since when you have the woman sending repeated needy texts, you know you’re slick. The lack of actual emotion in Yolanda’s voice “he seems to know where I live….so that’s frightening” makes this seem faker than Darcey’s face. Dang this woman is stupid.

***

That boob casting was awkward because Stephanie has only been with 200 partners - what a chaste woman. I hope that Windsor necklace “wins her” hoho; not really. I’m surprised they didn’t mansplain that male waiter for talking over them, even though they weren’t saying anything; maybe something rude will be written on the bill.

Erika’s face is so damn annoying to look at - the paradox of being at a fancy restaurant while having magenta hair and Etsy-procured earrings is funny. Since both of them are crying, I wonder if Stephanie will give men another chance, since in this situation only she would be crying and he would be swearing - would that be preferable? Erika seems to be refusing to show her true colors since every part of her body that can be altered has been ROY G BIV’d.

***

If anyone is familiar with Pokemon, Ed in that shirt looks like a Diglett trying to bury itself underground. It’s a good thing Prince doesn’t have any of Ed’s DNA, lest the Filipeno average height get dragged down any further - I hope to become a global ambassador for height and stress the importance of proper nutrition and layering gel insoles for those whose fate is already sealed.

Ed needs to suppress his culture shock for 5 seconds if he hopes to dive in Rose’ garden (a conquest that will also last 5 seconds). Shouldn’t Ed have gone to a country with low birth rates so he’d only have to embarrass himself in front of 2 family members? I don’t know if the fact that they met on the internet should be as big of a deal breaker as some of them lead on, since with how seriously people shout at each other on Facebook about politics, you’d think there’s no difference between that and real life.

***

If Tom only came here to tell Darcey she’s not wanted anymore, this gives me a chance to swoop in and be the hero. Of course the sight of me trying to push Tom out while saying “alright buddy, let’s go” all the while only coming up to his nipple would be quite hilarious, though several physicians agree that I am just short enough that I have the same off limits forcefield as a handicapped person. By bigger and better, Darcey certainly cannot be referring to me; here’s hoping my relentless desire to sniff her outweighs my many, many flaws. Tom’s barrage of insults seemed to come out of nowhere, poor Darcey.

***

Rose’s Dad wants to sleep with Ed? Just how low quality are Filipeno women to make him want to do that? I believe it’s a very overused word that rarely applies in the context people use it for, but David is one of the few people I find genuinely creepy. Ash can’t ever directly answer a question, I assume because he wants to postpone the inevitable breakup and get as many plows in as possible.

How will Usman’s Mom react to that stupid idea? I imagine we’ll see the first captured instance of a black woman turning completely white from horror. If I thought I’d ever say this, I’d eat my shirt (well, another one because I’m a grown man and can’t cook for myself) but I feel like I’m on Stephanie’s side. Erika is so damn annoying. If Geoffrey is such a smooth talker, couldn’t he somehow swing him formerly being in handcuffs as a BDSM thing? Darcey feels backstabbed, despite not being at a liposuction consultation - this is serious business.

Edited April 6, 2020 by InternetToughGuy

[magemaud]

2 hours ago, Lily247 said:

Stephanie, to me, looks gorgeous with her natural looking makeup. 

I agree that she’s beautiful but that vocal fry made my ears bleed. 

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, alotmorestupider said:

Does it drive anyone else insane hearing her call him Wi-yims? 

Like Danielle, Yolanda never pronounces “ing” endings. It’s scammin’, textin’, callin’, etc. 

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

You two DID have actual conversations before meeting, right?

I remember one particularly deep conversation when Erika asked Stephanie what she was going to do that day and her answer was “watch a movie and eat some cheese.” (Spoken with the aforementioned vocal fry.) 

[Callaphera]

2 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I remember one particularly deep conversation when Erika asked Stephanie what she was going to do that day and her answer was “watch a movie and eat some cheese.” (Spoken with the aforementioned vocal fry.) 

Oh hi there, Quarantine Edition Me, how you doin'?

ETA: Let's be real, that was also pre-Quarantine Edition Me. 

Edited April 6, 2020 by Callaphera

[emily842752]

On 4/1/2020 at 3:42 PM, humbleopinion said:

In these Covid times...did a little reading about the infamous Fabio.

He is 61 years young, no longer models but shills a protein drink.

He bought 500 acres of woodlands in Washington State with his modeling and I can't Believe It's Butter money

He made 150K (1980's money) per romance novel cover.

A swing and a miss with marriage in the 80's.

No children.

He owns 225 dirtbikes.

Still has his flowing locks...

He sure does! I saw him at a Whole Foods here in Los Angeles a few years ago. His flowing locks were quite impressive.  

[antfitz]

Ed has no self awareness.   He is so gross, and yet he calls her not shaving her legs gross.  He needs to cut his hair and quit putting mayonnaise all over it because it looks greasy & dirty. That ponytail looks stupid. He is afraid she's using him for money.... I'm sorry, but what does he expect.   I can't stand the gross Americans.

And Geoffrey playing the victim is almost laughable, but it's creepy. I can only imagine what is four ex wives or steady girlfriends think when they watch this. The crying, the claims of victimhood --  He is really gross and disgusting.

Then there's that pig Angela/Lisa. She sits like She's a princess and she acts like she is so much better. He should  run in the opposite direction.  I think he wants success in America common but I don't think it'll happen. We have enough  rappers already.

Edited April 6, 2020 by antfitz

[Kangatush]

9 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

If the show just started here on the east coast, why is this thread on page 3 already?  Did I miss something?Its Sunday nite at 8:15 pm. here.

The first half of the show is available as a preview on like Tuesday.  Some of us watch it, and have thoughts before seeing the whole thing on Sunday.