S04.E06: Can't Buy Me Love

[RealReality]

9 hours ago, mamadrama said:

It looks like a wig/toupee but if you look at pictures of him as a young man he's always had that weird, fake looking hair. So either he's worn a wig since he was a teen or he misses his hair and is trying to recreate it with a bad toupee. 

That's the thing that is so baffling!

9 hours ago, Splithair said:

I had a teacher in high school that had toupees of different lengths, so that he could wear a different one each week and make it appear as if his hair was growing.  Then after 4 or so weeks, back to the shortest one.  The longest one would look downright shaggy, to the point you would think "Damn, he needs a haircut."

That's committment. 

[magemaud]

9 hours ago, Splithair said:

I had a teacher in high school that had toupees of different lengths, so that he could wear a different one each week and make it appear as if his hair was growing.  Then after 4 or so weeks, back to the shortest one.  The longest one would look downright shaggy, to the point you would think "Damn, he needs a haircut."

Wow, how much trouble to keep up all that pretense when nobody was fooled. 

[mamadrama]

1 hour ago, RealReality said:

That's the thing that is so baffling!

I know, right? I was dead set on it being fake until I saw older pictures of him. That crazy mop on his head goes waaaayyyyy back. Then again, I attended a rich, private* high school with a dude who was star quarterback and wouldn't step foot out of his house without full coverage foundation so who knows...maybe homeboy's been sporting his favorite rug since his teens.

 

*I was NOT rich. I was 'po. My tuition was free since my mom worked for the university the school was an extension of. 

[BallisticNikki]

17 hours ago, Rt66vintage said:

Ok, what do we think, toupee yea or nay? Is this a possible poll idea? He did brush it backwards this episode, though not at all roughly.

I think it's his own hair. Didn't we see him spraying something directly onto the roots? Touch up color? Holding spray? I don't think you would do that to a toupee? And wouldn't toupees blend a more natural assortment of colors to look realistic?

IDK. Toupees have come a long way! Some are really imperceptible.

14 hours ago, nytonc said:

It is possible to have Botox & fillers that look natural, although the lips are very tricky.  It’s not easy to avoid the duck look but a careful Dr or Technician can do a respectable job. 

They lose volume over time. So I'd say about halfway btwn appointments would be the best look. But yeah, she could just ask for half a syringe.

***

Anyone notice how many times the name "Bar Code" was mentioned and shown? LOL

***

I'm getting kinda fed up w/ the foreign partners parading someone of a different race/religion by their family and everyone groveling for acceptance and "the family's blessing." This is so degrading and ridiculous. Obviously, it's not much different than the American parading their foreign partner around their xenophobic families....except the wedding is not contingent on the xenophobic American families' approval.

[hisbunkie]

On 3/29/2020 at 10:31 PM, Adeejay said:

Someone should probably tell Usman that not all American women are bossy and controlling.  

And that fifty -some -year -olds can’t have babies. 

[mmecorday]

Someone also tell Usman that sleeveless turtleneck shirts are generally not considered red carpet attire in America.

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, BallisticNikki said:

Anyone notice how many times the name "Bar Code" was mentioned and shown? LOL

I looked at their FB page and saw that SJB was headlining there mid March. On Trip Advisor, the club is listed as #2 out of 8 things to do in Kaduna. #1 is visiting some castle which looks pretty posh. Of course they wouldn't film there, they have to play up the poverty angle as much as possible. 

1 minute ago, mmecorday said:

Someone also tell Usman that sleeveless turtleneck shirts are generally not considered red carpet attire in America.

Did anyone ask Lisa "Who are you wearing?" 

[mmecorday]

Quote

Did anyone ask Lisa "Who are you wearing?"

The answer would be "The Misses section of JC Penney, 1997."

[magemaud]

4 hours ago, mmecorday said:

"The Misses section of JC Penney, 1997."

or as my friend pronounces it, "Jacques Pehn-NAY"  

Edited April 1, 2020 by magemaud

[calpurnia99]

I've never contacted a network before but I need to let them know they need to keep Robert and Annie off of pillow talk. I finally figured how how to mute his scenes but only after suffering through his offensive, sexist, dopey, idiot, moron comments. She just sat there and bitches at him. I love everyone else they show, but this guy is brain dead, not interesting, stupid, not entertaining and a jack ass. They really ruined my guilty pleasure. Who decided we wanted to see more of this ignoramus? Bring me their head!

[ALittleShelfish]

3 hours ago, magemaud said:

Did anyone ask Lisa "Who are you wearing?" 

She would have said "I'm wearing this old rag because Angela and Tiffany bought up all of the cold shoulder tops in 'Murica and this is all that was left..."

[Spike]

Well they seemed to listen to the audience re Coltie and Danielle.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Usman in his women’s sunglasses and towel on his head made me long for Little Edie of Grey Gardens fame.

Did Tom tell Darcey that it looks like she put on weight? It was at the very end and I had to rewind a few time to hear it. If so, Tom for the Win!

 

[deirdra]

24 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Usman in his women’s sunglasses and towel on his head made me long for Little Edie of Grey Gardens fame.

Yes, Little Edie had very interesting fabrics to work with.

[magemaud]

2 hours ago, calpurnia99 said:

I've never contacted a network before but I need to let them know they need to keep Robert and Annie off of pillow talk. I finally figured how how to mute his scenes but only after suffering through his offensive, sexist, dopey, idiot, moron comments. She just sat there and bitches at him.

I agree they were horrible. Robert was so ghetto, "ass" this and "ass" that while Anny sat there with a sneer on her face complaining about everything. But like someone else pointed out, pairs that don't bring anything to the table don't seem to be invited back, like Danielle and Beth, and Colt and Debbie. It's almost like each one is given one chance to basically audition for PT. 

[calpurnia99]

20 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I agree they were horrible. Robert was so ghetto, "ass" this and "ass" that while Anny sat there with a sneer on her face complaining about everything. But like someone else pointed out, pairs that don't bring anything to the table don't seem to be invited back, like Danielle and Beth, and Colt and Debbie. It's almost like each one is given one chance to basically audition for PT. 

It's like he thought he was so hip and cool: dats a man befo he tap dat azz.

Then I muted him but  I had my subtitles on, so I turned those off. Then I saw the show was subtitling her, lol. Then even on mute, he talks with his hands, punching the air etc. There was no escape. I hope you are right and he never returns. Molly is a riot. I like loren and Alexei too. Really they have all been fine except these two...

 

[mamadrama]

2 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Usman in his women’s sunglasses and towel on his head made me long for Little Edie of Grey Gardens fame.

Did Tom tell Darcey that it looks like she put on weight? It was at the very end and I had to rewind a few time to hear it. If so, Tom for the Win!

 

 Tom with his 45 degree angle and duck lips and Usman with his fronting towel could only ever hope to be half as cool as Little Edie marching with an American flag.

[hookedontv]

I can't believe I didn't participate in Sunday's live chat and it's taken me a few days to read over some (not all) comments. This quarantine is messing with me. I hope all my fellow snarkers are hanging in there with all that's going on in the world.  Stay healthy and snarky my friends. Stay home if you can. And for all you essential workers - thank you. 

[the-grey-lady]

Please tell me I'm not the only one who burst out laughing at SojaBoy's "performance."

What woman hasn't melted into a puddle of goo when her silver-tongued intended uttered these words of seduction: "You know, any time I talked to you on the phone, I always told you that I love you. So I decided to do this for you and for the sake of our love."

I started laughing typing that. Comedy gold.

[mamadrama]

1 hour ago, the-grey-lady said:

Please tell me I'm not the only one who burst out laughing at SojaBoy's "performance."

What woman hasn't melted into a puddle of goo when her silver-tongued intended uttered these words of seduction: "You know, any time I talked to you on the phone, I always told you that I love you. So I decided to do this for you and for the sake of our love."

I started laughing typing that. Comedy gold.

Although I wanted to laugh my head off, every time the camera over panned to Lisa I thought, eh, he's gotta do and see horrible things when he returns to the hotel room, so I took some pity on him.

[blubld43]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

Although I wanted to laugh my head off, every time the camera over panned to Lisa I thought, eh, he's gotta do and see horrible things when he returns to the hotel room, so I took some pity on him.

I'm still flabbergasted that Lisa seems to believe people should take them seriously as a couple.  Usman looks like he's holding his grandma, full stop.  Just utterly ridiculous.

I know sometimes people of widely disparate ages fall in love, as long as they're both adults, whatever.  But this is so clearly not any kind of love match, it's impossible for me to take it seriously, I'm just here hoping Usman dumps her as she deserves.

To me, Lisa's condescending, bossy treatment of Usman, his friends and business associates just smacks of racism.

Edited April 3, 2020 by blubld43

[Kyanight]

1 hour ago, blubld43 said:

To me, Lisa's condescending, bossy treatment of Usman, his friends and business associates just smacks of racism.

In this case, I don't believe it's racism at all.  I would bet you money that she treats people of all races equally bad.  This is entitlement.   There are white people who treat minorities terribly who are just as awful to other white people.  I literally can't stand those people.  I don't know what that makes me, lol.  I don't think a racist, though.

[blubld43]

48 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

In this case, I don't believe it's racism at all.  I would bet you money that she treats people of all races equally bad.  This is entitlement.   There are white people who treat minorities terribly who are just as awful to other white people.  I literally can't stand those people.  I don't know what that makes me, lol.  I don't think a racist, though.

You might well be right.  It just hit me that the extremely rude behavior might be rooted in racism, I cannot imagine going to a brand new country and behaving this way.  So rude, to everyone including the man she says she's in love with.  Wretched woman, I think Usman sees it too.

[Kyanight]

1 minute ago, blubld43 said:

You might well be right.  It just hit me that the extremely rude behavior might be rooted in racism, I cannot imagine going to a brand new country and behaving this way.  So rude, to everyone including the man she says she's in love with.  Wretched woman, I think Usman sees it too.

She is so entitled.  She sees herself as above everyone else and expects to be treated that way.  Is she a narcissist?? 

[blubld43]

2 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

She is so entitled.  She sees herself as above everyone else and expects to be treated that way.  Is she a narcissist?? 

I am now wondering if poor Usman is quarantined with her........Lord have mercy.  I can't tell you how grateful I am to be single right now.

She might be; tbh, I kind of tune her out because she's just so obnoxious, I did the same for Grangela.  It takes a special kind of entitlement to act that way, on camera, no less.

[DEL901]

6 hours ago, blubld43 said:

I'm still flabbergasted that Lisa seems to believe people should take them seriously as a couple.  Usman looks like he's holding his grandma, full stop.  Just utterly ridiculous.

I know sometimes people of widely disparate ages fall in love, as long as they're both adults, whatever.  But this is so clearly not any kind of love match, it's impossible for me to take it seriously, I'm just here hoping Usman dumps her as she deserves.

To me, Lisa's condescending, bossy treatment of Usman, his friends and business associates just smacks of racism.

I’d like to add that stupid accent she affects when she’s talking to Usman.   Maybe it is condescension rather than racism, but I don’t like it.  

Edited April 3, 2020 by DEL901

[RealReality]

On 4/1/2020 at 11:19 AM, magemaud said:

 

Did anyone ask Lisa "Who are you wearing?" 

 

On 4/1/2020 at 11:23 AM, mmecorday said:

The answer would be "The Misses section of JC Penney, 1997."

"Vintage Kathy Ireland for Walmart from the 1992 Boise fashion week collection"

2 hours ago, DEL901 said:

I’d like to add that stupid accent she affects when she’s talking to Usman.   Maybe it is condescension rather than racism, but I don’t like it.  

It's so bizarre, it's like she thinks if she speaks with the faux accent that Usman will understand her English better.  "Box spring, bad, you stay with me, yes?"

[Auntie Anxiety]

7 hours ago, Kyanight said:

She is so entitled.  She sees herself as above everyone else and expects to be treated that way.  Is she a narcissist?? 

I’d say she isn’t. I was married to one and when I come across a narcissist on tv or in real life, I have a visceral reaction. Baby Huey Lisa doesn't trigger that. I just see a very bitter woman who has absolutely no self-awareness and takes her anger out on everyone around her. 

[Christina]

Here is a bonus scene of Ed whining to his friend about insulting Rose but not telling him that he refused to take the STI test, too.

I don't think Big Beluga Visa is racist, she's shitty to every single person in her life. She has no redeemable qualities and needs deep and serious therapy.

[configdotsys]

Good grief. I binge watched the entire group so shows so far between last night and today and my skin is crawling despite taking a shower both last night and today!

Ed is a skeevy, dirty looking slob.

Geoff is a psycho that belongs on a Lifetime movie (and is definitely wearing a toupe. The dead giveaway is that little tiny piece that you occasionally see hanging down. That's an attempt to make it lifelike.)

I FF past the lesbian couple because the American bored me to tears for the first couple of shows and I completely lost interest in her story.

David is another one on my FF train. As soon as he typed "mmmmmm" I was gone. He's creepy and weird.

I don't find Ash good looking at all. He's strange looking and seems to think he's God's gift. I have no doubt that this "relationship coach" does a lot more than coach his clients.

The woman who is being catfished by Williams of London is another snoozefest. "His Instagram account just disappeared. I have no idea what happened and he doesn't either." Okaythxbye, you're on FF now too.

What Darcy has done to herself by way of botox and whatever else is just a shame.

Finally, I think that Lisa is one of the most disgusting, vulgar people I've seen on television. 

Sorry for the general post on an ep forum but I can't keep up with all the threads!

[gingerella]

23 hours ago, Christina said:

Here is a bonus scene of Ed whining to his friend about insulting Rose but not telling him that he refused to take the STI test, too.

I don't think Big Beluga Visa is racist, she's shitty to every single person in her life. She has no redeemable qualities and needs deep and serious therapy.

I cracked up at "Rich's advice" - You're adults man. Make it happen man. Just do something man. Make it right man. That's some sound-ass advice right there, man.

[Meowwww]

My husband is 50 with a full thick curly mop of hair.  He doesn’t color it though. 

[RealReality]

10 hours ago, gingerella said:

I cracked up at "Rich's advice" - You're adults man. Make it happen man. Just do something man. Make it right man. That's some sound-ass advice right there, man.

Sounds like someone saying anything to end the conversation.  

[GladysCravits]

Ed ‘romancing’ Rose is making me physically ill🤮

Edited April 6, 2020 by GladysCravits

[Ucross]

On 4/3/2020 at 12:25 PM, RealReality said:

It's so bizarre, it's like she thinks if she speaks with the faux accent that Usman will understand her English better.  "Box spring, bad, you stay with me, yes?"

Really, what IS that? She speaks normally when talking to Americans. But with Usman, who speaks perfect English, she truncates her sentences into this choppy, bossy, nearly indecipherable chunks of sound. Why do so many Americans make themselves indecipherable so the poor uneducated natives (who speak better English than the Americans) can perhaps grasp a syllable or two? I've been abroad with so many people who should know better, and my mind always reels. It is SO INSULTING!

[TipseyGirl]

On 3/25/2020 at 10:58 PM, Spike said:

She looks like the fetal pig we dissected in biology class.

Thanks, @Spike for bringing back that lovely Anatomy and Physiology memory. But you ain't wrong.

[ethalfrida]

On 4/4/2020 at 1:47 PM, configdotsys said:

Good grief. I binge watched the entire group so shows so far between last night and today and my skin is crawling despite taking a shower both last night and today!

Ed is a skeevy, dirty looking slob.

Geoff is a psycho that belongs on a Lifetime movie (and is definitely wearing a toupe. The dead giveaway is that little tiny piece that you occasionally see hanging down. That's an attempt to make it lifelike.)

I FF past the lesbian couple because the American bored me to tears for the first couple of shows and I completely lost interest in her story.

David is another one on my FF train. As soon as he typed "mmmmmm" I was gone. He's creepy and weird.

I don't find Ash good looking at all. He's strange looking and seems to think he's God's gift. I have no doubt that this "relationship coach" does a lot more than coach his clients.

The woman who is being catfished by Williams of London is another snoozefest. "His Instagram account just disappeared. I have no idea what happened and he doesn't either." Okaythxbye, you're on FF now too.

What Darcy has done to herself by way of botox and whatever else is just a shame.

Finally, I think that Lisa is one of the most disgusting, vulgar people I've seen on television. 

Sorry for the general post on an ep forum but I can't keep up with all the threads!

Williams of London is a great name! Gives the story sort of a Robin of Loxly feel. Love it...

[ethalfrida]

On 3/31/2020 at 6:52 PM, Scarlett45 said:

Botox and fillers only tend to look natural on very thin post menopausal women (who have something to fill) because if you gain two ounces of fat or retain too much water your face starts to look SWOLLEN rather than plumper. 
 

I think Darcy started working out and losing some weight when she first got into the reality tv scene and she didn’t like the loss of fat in her face and bust (which often happens when you lose weight), she tried to correct that, and then the drinking and gaining weight back.....

She was a naturally pretty woman to start with. 

I always wondered why the faces looked so puffy. Thanks.

[Kyanight]

29 minutes ago, ethalfrida said:

Williams of London is a great name! Gives the story sort of a Robin of Loxly feel. Love it...

It makes me think of Lloyds of London, lol.

[Scout Finch]

On 3/25/2020 at 9:44 AM, humbleopinion said:

Brilliant cajoling, enticing, convincing him to visit her and the Ukraine for a record breaking 4th time..her picture must be up as employee of the month at the phone bank sweat shop she works out of...

Actually, it would be a picture of the sweaty, corpulent 50-year-old man pretending to be "Lana."

[Squishy Tomato]

On 4/4/2020 at 12:06 AM, Auntie Anxiety said:

I’d say she isn’t. I was married to one and when I come across a narcissist on tv or in real life, I have a visceral reaction. Baby Huey Lisa doesn't trigger that. I just see a very bitter woman who has absolutely no self-awareness and takes her anger out on everyone around her. 

What about Ash? He sets off my narcissist-radar. But I wasn't married to one. Had a yoga teacher (who saw herself as a reincarnated guru) who was. 

[Squishy Tomato]

Did Little Miss "If I Catch A Cold I Could DIE" just go and put her filthy suitcase on the hotel bed? 

Does TCL request that all the idiots  participants do this?

I'm fast forwarding through lisa, too cringe to watch. 

I'm no fan of varya but 1. I agree if you don't know how long you're going to live in a place and you don't have a lot of spare cash, sometimes it's not worth doing renovations 2. Geoffrey has the ugliest eyes I have ever seen, I  can't put my finger on why, I want to smash the tv screen when he's on. 3. Someone who tattoos eyelashes on their nipples has no right to criticize others.

 

 

[zenme]

On 3/31/2020 at 5:44 PM, Honey said:

You would think the real Souljaboy, who is an American rapper, would sue this clown for using his name.  I had to laugh when I was watching Pillow Talk and a couple of them said that they've heard of Souljaboy.  Yeah you have, but the one you've heard of has no connection to the one we see butchering music on this show.

I bet BGL doesn’t know that, and when she tells people, some probably say, “Oh yeah! I’ve heard of him,” validating BGL’s notion that he’s a celebrity.