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S04.E03: Risky Business


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40 minutes ago, FurBabyMama said:

So I’m russian and the herring under a fur coat (that’s literally what it translates into) is really good. It’s a dish that we normally only have on holidays because it’s rather time consuming to make. Not hard just time consuming. And us russians love our mayo and sour cream. But if you’re not used to it, I guess you may not like it. My son was crying when they had their first meeting so I maybe missed something but why were they already talking about how things were awkward between them on the fir

I’m Polish, and my mother made similar things.  We ate herring with raw onions on rye or pumpernickle bread.  We always had sour cream in the house too.  Black bread was a staple.

 

 

 

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17 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

Do I have it right that Usman's friend is also called Usman? I know they share a place but why was he sleeping in the same bed as the other guy?

Yep. He's the dude they call "Giant".

I cannot wait till next week when reality hits a few of these people (Lisa sees the "bathroom" at Usuman's and Ed sees how Rosemarie lives.

In regards to Stephanie two things come to mind: 1. They should have waited till next week to introduce her with the other dude that's being catfished. TLC went from Ed waiting in the airport to Stephanie's segment, to Yolanda (?), then back to Geoffery, then finally to Ed.  I thought it was just a weird jump.  2. Whenever I hear someone wanting to make money off of Youtube, I always go back to this scene from One Day at a Time (the new version) where the daughter tells the mother that she will make money by doing youtube tutorials and the mom replies: "Oh miha, that's for rich white women."  

 

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23 minutes ago, Eme said:

Geoffrey wanted Varya to be Overwhelmed with him at first glance.  He immediately wanted to have The Upper Hand (Seinfeld) so he criticized her lipstick on the teeth.  Really?

He acted like she  “owed” him the right to sleep with him immediately and he was not sure if he could get over it.  Seriously?  She owes him Nothing, and I hope her interest in getting to the US doesn’t blind her to his personality.  
She was 100% right in waiting to see if he showed any emotion....or any facsimile of their internet “connection.”  Looking at this episode, it’s become crystal clear that the “ex-gf from lunch” who lamented Geof  not picking her....dodged a bullet.  Run gurl! 

I will never understand why any of these people go to their "true love's" country thinking they will be engaged on that trip, what the fuck is wrong with them...they have only skyped, they have not lived in each other's world and experienced the day to day life. 

Geof and Varya had no chemistry, forced conversation...but they are in love!  Give me a break.

Big Ed with his fancy sheets in Rose's hovel, I doubt he will spend more than a few minutes there before heading to a hotel.  I do believe he will give her the ring, (which I bet is a CZ). While he is in Rose's humble abode will he scan the room for all the gifts he sent her or will he look on the store shelves for those items?

My prediction about Avery is she will meet Ashe's friends and they will each take turns talking about all the women he knows.

Yolanda, still none of her kids did a Google image search to learn the real identity of the guy in the photos.  If I am interested in a guy that ghosts me, changes his profile on IG I doubt I would still be proclaiming my love for him and wonder aloud why he won't answer her call, she is an idiot.

Bi girl, bye girl.  Boring.

Lisa and her Hip Hop Yahoo Boy/Auto Tuned Scammer deserve each other.  I picture him hoarking after the deed like Woody Harleson in King Pin (when he had to sex it up with the landlady to pay his rent),  Lisa will think it is because he is so over come with emotion.  His roommates will be so happy to have more bed space and more bathroom time that they will encourage this relationship.

 

 

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Rosemarie reminds me of Hazel and Jenny (yes love).  I give her points for acting as happy as she did when she first saw Ed.  He's a lot shorter than he told her,  looked greasy and sweaty and his outfit was odd.  I guess the sister said it best "He's rich so I don't care" or something like that.

I don't know why Darcey and Tom are on this season other than to show more of Darcey crying and getting upset. 

If the Yolanda story wasn't scripted then she's a moron.

I forget their names but the girl with the small child that's going to Australia.  That guy had major crazy eyes.  Also his business seems shady.

So next week we get the next catfish.  An old guy with dyed hair spending money on someone he'll never meet.

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7 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Reminds me of a running joke from many years ago on the Bob Newhart show.  To modify slightly:  "Hi, my name is Giant.  This is my brother, Usman, and this is my other brother, Usman."

So Yolanda goes into a juice bar and orders something that they mix up in front of her.  And when she goes to her table, she has a bottle with a price tag and one of those plastic lids that you have to break the seal to twist off.

The fakery is strong with this story.

I noticed that too, I do not go to juice bars (I am too cheap) so I thought that what she ordered was put in a bottle like that is what they do.  Yo is coming off less and less sincere and more and more scammy.

Giant and his brothers Usman, (tee hee),  made nostalgic for Mr. Newhart.

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10 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I noticed that too, I do not go to juice bars (I am too cheap) so I thought that what she ordered was put in a bottle like that is what they do.  Yo is coming off less and less sincere and more and more scammy.

Giant and his brothers Usman, (tee hee),  made nostalgic for Mr. Newhart.

I feel like some places may bottle fresh juice.  I vaguely remember a juice place in so. Cal. doing this, but  I cannot remember why.  Maybe something about reducing waste? Or maybe putting it in a small bottle made it look like a lot of juice versus putting it in a cup?  I think it's like 10-12 oz of juice and you don't really put ice with it, so in a cup that might look a little puny. 

But my hats off to Yolanda, I found green juice unpalatable so good on her for drinking some of it.  

7 minutes ago, RealReality said:

I feel like some places may bottle fresh juice.  I vaguely remember a juice place in so. Cal. doing this, but  I cannot remember why.  Maybe something about reducing waste?

But do they bottle it in one of those plastic caps where you have to twist it to break the seal?  It looked like it was a factory seal.

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11 hours ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Fucken Geoffrey, that dish looked delicious. Already aggressive and defensive when Varya asks about his kids. I hope she has a big brother that will meet him in his hotel room one night, because intimidation and violence  is all he seems to understand.

100% - I hope she gets out of this situation.  Now.  

1 hour ago, Eme said:

He acted like she  “owed” him the right to sleep with him immediately and he was not sure if he could get over it.  Seriously?

He seemed to yammer on and on about this topic.  I wanted to her to ditch the dialogue of ?my girlfriends want me to stay by myself" and just say:  "No, I want to be alone.  Not ready to sleep with you on the first night,  Take a cold shower, dude."

Big Ed - what Rose did or did not do prior to the last three months is none of your concern.  So shut it.

1 hour ago, RealReality said:

Go to the hotel, shower, nap and meet up for dinner when you can look your best.....this is DOUBLY true if you've been fudging your appearance with filers and light rings.....you're gonna need all the help you can get when you finally meet in person. 

Exactly this.  I don't want to see anyone after a three hour flight from Orlando, let alone a twenty hour trip involving three planes.

I can't imagine the control freak Lida will be over Usman if they get married.  She will put a GPS in his car!  

Avery and Ash both annoy me so it is hard to care.  I am not chapping on her for leaving her kids, as I would chap on dads who leave young ones for two to three weeks as well.  But......you are asking Ash to leave his 10 year old son across the country?  Good luck with that.  

Bi Girls - okay, I am gonna take some heat here:  In five years they will both be married to men and have a baby.  I do believe you are born one way and that is how God made you.  But these two young ladies seem to be Attention Seeking times 10.  I mean, your career is singing into a camera about loving pizza?  No one dresses like Rainbow Bright on the daily who is not out for all the attention she can get.  No one sings (poorly) into the camera, thinking it is a career, she loves all the looks and attention she can get.  Plus I am not interested in the ominous music playing on will she or won't she come out at dinner?

Then again, they could be married to each other so what do I know???

I am just surprised her parents don't ask her about the nature of the relationship.  If either of my sons announces they were going to Australia to hang out with a male friend that would ping me HARD.

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Much of this is fake, which is ok if it’s entertaining.  But I was pretty bored. The Usman goofballs were the only highlight. Hope to see lots more of them. Sorry Lisa 🤣

If the Ed/Rose story is real... well, her impoverished lifestyle is real... I hope Ed will truly help her improve her life and not just lust after her. 

The rest of the stories are not very interesting or even particularly believable. Yolanda, for instance. She’s raised a bunch of children while her husband was in and out of prison, you’d think she’d be super savvy. There’s been plenty of catfish episodes of Dr.Phil. And the mother of the girl visiting Rainbow Bright or whatever is obviously way more worried about her daughter’s health than a lesbian relationship.  

Geoffrey and the Australian relationship coach are creepy. And the twins are depressing.

Are there others? I can’t even remember.

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13 hours ago, Eme said:

So Lisa didn’t bother to dye her hair before seeing her boyfriend who is 20 years younger?  What is wrong with her?  

I time my hair coloring, cut and style before having my picture taken for my school ID badge, let alone meeting my twenty year younger boyfriend (who does not exist as I am married.)  Cover the roots, girl!  Love his buddies.  How is she gonna react when they all share one room?  When she said "I didn't fly all these miles to sleep" I was like, I would have been been konked out so fast......  Poor guy is not into her.  At all.

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Quote

If the Ed/Rose story is real... well, her impoverished lifestyle is real... I hope Ed will truly help her improve her life and not just lust after her. 

Ed worries about thread counts in his sheets and how much mayonnaise he has on hand to keep his hair looking Clark Gable shiny. Rose and her family have a dirty floor and a tank full of (probably) contaminated water that they use for cooking and cleaning. He is in for one mama jama of a rude awakening.

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1 hour ago, AZChristian said:

Reminds me of a running joke from many years ago on the Bob Newhart show.  To modify slightly:  "Hi, my name is Giant.  This is my brother, Usman, and this is my other brother, Usman."

So Yolanda goes into a juice bar and orders something that they mix up in front of her.  And when she goes to her table, she has a bottle with a price tag and one of those plastic lids that you have to break the seal to twist off.

The fakery is strong with this story.

She asked for Sweet Greens, then they were blending something red, then she had a bottle of green liquid. 

 

 

 

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The more "awkward" Geoffrey became, the more of a creep he became. He literally turned into an ugly troll in the car. Lipstick on your teeth? Wow, he's a real smooth ladies man. 

During Rose's TH, did anyone else notice the weird fake smile she made after each statement? I don't care if she's looking for a way out, just treat the guy with respect and kindness. 

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3 hours ago, ava111 said:

What??? I saw them have conversation but there was no compassion whatsoever. Only Stacey pushing buttons.

Lol, I know! After I said I was pleased with Darcey and Stacey being supportive and kind to each other, everybody said it was the opposite and I had to rewatch their segment.  I guess my mom tortured me like Stacey does Darcey so it felt familiar to me!  Haha.  I just learned something about myself!!    I was surprised that Stacey was driving a low end Nissan or something similar and not a Euro sport vehicle... or Tesla.  They are so into image.

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6 hours ago, InternetToughGuy said:

re. Usman

Do these guys know how to speak English or have they only rehearsed enough to have this exact conversation?

English is the official language of Nigeria. So yes! They all speak excellent English but have strong accents and may use different colloquialisms than Americans, etc.

3 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Vegetarians and other non meat eaters aside...if you are a meat eater and have ever had the rare opportunity to partake in a meal of open pit roasted lechon and not be in hog heaven, pun intended, then we will never be friends.

Lechon is a cultural treasure as elevated by Uncle Tony Bourdain.

Even when I ate and loved meat, I am sure I would not have been able to mentally get past the carcass.

2 hours ago, ava111 said:

I'm surprised Usman is not happy with Lisa's figure. Isn't being fat sign of wealth in Africa? The fatter the more money in the bank. 

But the fat needs to be in the right places. Lisa's is not.

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1 minute ago, Spike said:

Ash claimed in an earlier episode that the mother is just fine with the kid moving to America because she wants what’s best for him.  Yeah right.  Melbourne looks pretty nice.

I don't believe that comes out of that operator's mouth.  No mom is cool with her ten year old son moving that far.  It is an easy out for him when they don't vibe:  "Son's mother changed her mind and I won't leave him.  Bye!!!"

Another thing about Bi Girl in America.  Girl, you are 29 years old, have no child to consider....why are you so determined to get your parent's (especially Mom's) approval for this trip?  Just go!  Text/call when you are there.  You health issues?  I believe they are valid but you could have corona virus and you will still go.  Make Rainbow Bright come here!  If she cares for you so much she would not want you travelling with compromised health.  

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(edited)
On 3/7/2020 at 7:22 PM, Spike said:

Hey I listened to Rick Springfield’s greatest hits the other day.  He had more than I remembered.

Rick’s music and lyrics are actually quite clever, especially on “Working Class Dog”. My Spotify and iTunes/Apple Music libraries are full of his music.... and I am unashamed.

Edited by Liamsmom617
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How is it possible that Yolanda is that stupid? I've read stories about men and women who fall prey to  romance scammers and wonder how they could be so naive. These folks are prime examples of how gullibility and desperation make one an easy target. 

Lil Ed is a BIG fool to think Rose loves him for him. She wants a way out of poverty and he's the ticket. It's just reality.  Its extra disturbing that Rose resembles a 13 year old girl. 

I don't mind Varyna. She's direct and realistic. Her yellow 80's power suit was fug tho. Talking online doesn't equate in instant chemistry in person. Yet, Geoff seemed utterly shocked that she wasn't going to sleep with him the first night. 

Ash gives me the creeps...big time. I've also met a guy who said he was a relationship coach. It's code for "unemployed player"

I have a fairly strong stomach, but I almost vomited when Usman and Babygirl Lisa started making out in the car. 

 

 

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2 hours ago, greekmom said:

Whenever I hear someone wanting to make money off of Youtube,....

Stephanie's most recent video has part of the title saying "demonitized" and from what I can tell does not in the video explain why or what.  Anyway, her small hope in raking in the big bucks may have been crushed by her overlord's censorship.

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1 hour ago, Rt66vintage said:

The more "awkward" Geoffrey became, the more of a creep he became. He literally turned into an ugly troll in the car. Lipstick on your teeth? Wow, he's a real smooth ladies man. 

During Rose's TH, did anyone else notice the weird fake smile she made after each statement? I don't care if she's looking for a way out, just treat the guy with respect and kindness. 

She is totally unlikable. You could just see her mind working. How am I going to fuck this EVEN for money.  She is going to take him on quite the ride.

And speaking of unlikable .....Lisa.

Edited by Kid
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2 hours ago, Christina said:

Even though they discuss Stephanie's YouTube channel, her money making is on a Patreon where she removes clothing.

So, she tells parents she is going to make money on youtube,  But those vids are just advertising to get Patreon subscribers, now at 587.  Make roughly 50k per year.  Go on 90DF and get much more!

2 hours ago, Christina said:

Her story seems to be for attention as opposed to actually meeting her girlfriend.

Seems like!

And perhaps her not telling them about her being bi, is because they don't even know of her on camera stripping.  

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39 minutes ago, Barbara Please said:

I have a fairly strong stomach, but I almost vomited when Usman and Babygirl Lisa started making out in the car. 

 

I held my hands up like I was watching a horror movie.  Which I kinda was!

 

40 minutes ago, Barbara Please said:

Yet, Geoff seemed utterly shocked that she wasn't going to sleep with him the first night. 

Yep - he had an agenda and was shocked that woman disagreed.  Let's see how THAT goes.

41 minutes ago, Barbara Please said:

Lil Ed is a BIG fool to think Rose loves him for him. She wants a way out of poverty and he's the ticket. It's just reality.  Its extra disturbing that Rose resembles a 13 year old girl. 

Not only is the thirty age difference a biggie, I do I agree that she looks 15.  Ed, please....stay in your lane.

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14 hours ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Fucken Geoffrey, that dish looked delicious. Already aggressive and defensive when Varya asks about his kids. I hope she has a big brother that will meet him in his hotel room one night, because intimidation and violence  is all he seems to understand.

i spend nights in my late teens early 20s with guys añd gals in hotel rooms. I even shared a bed ...fully clothed...,with male friends.  They were lovely and we were all respectful and had a great time. I don't think there is anything wrong with sharing a hotel room with male friends but maybe I'm a slag 😂 

It's the nature of being poor and living in a developing country that staying in a hotel room is such a once in a decade treat (and so unaffordable) that one idea for a "party" is that 6 friends/family chip in $5 each to rent a $30 a night hotel room just so they can enjoy that experience. It doesn't mean "orgy."

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13 hours ago, Ucross said:

Since Varya seems reasonably successful and self-sufficient, I'm surprised it got this far with Geoffrey. She doesn't seem particularly interested in migrating to the US, and certainly not not desperate in the usual (understandably) economically-deprived way.

 

Oh, she's very interested in moving to the USA. She's ambitious. That's why she moved from Siberia to Western Russia. Still, an average worker in Ryazan may only earn $600 - $800 a month.

She's not content to live in Ryazan the rest of her life and have kids and raise them in depressing Russia. Statistically speaking, there's a good chance any Russian she married would be an alcoholic, and the life expectancy of Russian men is only 64 years. She's past her prime to land a rich, successful guy from Moscow.

She does come across as happy and well dressed and intelligent and cosmopolitan but she may be living in a cramped, run down Soviet-style apartment with her mom. My guess is if we saw her living conditions, her intentions would make more sense.

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49 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

Right. I was so confused by that suit. Was it a gag, like she would try to find something crazy and bright yellow at a thrift store so he could spot her in the crowd?

All she needed was an oversized pair of clown shoes.  

31 minutes ago, gavinmac said:

When Geoffrey said  "Varya's not staying the night. . .  and I don't know how I feel about that" he said it exactly like Paul Staehle.

They're both psychopathic.  I'm not surprised there are so many similarities.

3 hours ago, SevenCostanza said:

I forget their names but the girl with the small child that's going to Australia.  That guy had major crazy eyes.  Also his business seems shady.

He really does have crazy eyes, and that scene where his crazy eyes were being crazy, he made a comment about something, and then licked his TEETH afterwards?  

Good luck, Avery.  

"It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."  

6 minutes ago, Spike said:

Plus there are pills that even young men can take if necessary.

I told Mini Persnickety that I certainly hope he was carrying a pocket full of Viagra because if his performance isn't up to her expectations...wave good bye to that green card, Usman!

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(edited)
4 minutes ago, gavinmac said:

Oh, she's very interested in moving to the USA. She's ambitious. That's why she moved from Siberia to Western Russia. Still, an average worker in Ryazan may only earn $600 - $800 a month.

She's not content to live in Ryazan the rest of her life and have kids and raise them in depressing Russia. Statistically speaking, there's a good chance any Russian she married would be an alcoholic, and the life expectancy of Russian men is only 64 years. She's past her prime to land a rich, successful guy from Moscow.

She does come across as happy and well dressed and intelligent and cosmopolitan but she may be living in a cramped, run down Soviet-style apartment with her mom. My guess is if we saw her living conditions, her intentions would make more sense.

I think in the promo for next week they showed her living space and she was claiming it’s a fixer upper that she hasn’t fixed up yet because it looked pretty uncomfortable.

4 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

All she needed was an oversized pair of clown shoes.  

They're both psychopathic.  I'm not surprised there are so many similarities.

He really does have crazy eyes, and that scene where his crazy eyes were being crazy, he made a comment about something, and then licked his TEETH afterwards?  

Good luck, Avery.  

"It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."  

I told Mini Persnickety that I certainly hope he was carrying a pocket full of Viagra because if his performance isn't up to her expectations...wave good bye to that green card, Usman!

Yeah young guys use them also if they have too much to drink and don’t want whiskey dick.

Edited by Spike
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3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

I’m Polish, and my mother made similar things.  We ate herring with raw onions on rye or pumpernickle bread.  We always had sour cream in the house too.  Black bread was a staple.

 

 

 

We do something similar but not with herring... we use a different fish, I think it’s mackerel? Not sure what it’s called in English. If it’s not a party but a herring sort of dinner night, then we have it in oil with raw onions on top and a side of potatoes. I actually prefer it that way to under the fur coat.

now I’m hungry. 

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24 minutes ago, Kid said:

Totally agree!

 

2 minutes ago, Gobi said:

She reminded me of Valerie Bertinelli.

 

26 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

So far we have Varya described as looking like:

Angelina Jolie

Kirsten Dunst

Danielle Busby (Mom from Outdaughtered)

 

I'm going to second Danielle Busby and suggest a dark haired Cameron Diaz.

CamD.jpg

Come on, if we're going to say short, fat, no neck Ed is batting out of his league with a young Filipina, why are people comparing Varya to Hollywood actresses? She has attractive features, but that very lazy eye is significant drawback that is going to be a deal breaker for many men.

 

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