S10.E06: In Seasickness and in Health

[JennyMominFL]

4 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Now this is a thing men do to?

I've never heard of guys not wanting to wear wedding rings in my life. Unless they are cheating which goes without saying.

Maybe some people just don't like wearing jewelry or worry about losing or work at jobs where they could easily lose it. These are things I've heard men and women voice as reasons against rings. 

It's also tradition. People seem to love bucking tradition these days. Moreso younger people.

My husband and I dont wear wedding rings. Im near 50 and he is over 50. We have been happy together for 26 years

Edited February 6, 2020 by JennyMominFL

[Empress1]

16 hours ago, ramble said:

Oh my gosh! Mindy he’s just not that into you. You’re older than he is and I think you look it.

Isn't she like two years older than he is? Once everybody is over about 16, a two-year age gap is nothing.

26 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

For some reason, I was once talking to a friend about the pronunciation of "aunt"--I said I noticed that people from San Francisco rhyme it with "flaunt," because I knew a guy from San Francisco who did that.  She said that's interesting because where she's from in East Texas, black people pronounce it that way, too.  I said, "Oh.  The guy from Francisco is black."

I'm Black and "aunt" rhymes with "flaunt." All the Black people I know and have known pronounce it that way.

26 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

A major problem I have with Instagram and Facebook and all the rest is that there is a lot of evidence that they are not harmless fun at all--they are agents of manipulation and they make a lot of people (especially young people) miserable. 

I deleted FB last year and I don't miss it at all. My friend, who is not on IG, went to a birthday dinner recently and she said everyone had their phones out taking pictures of their food and was posting constantly and not talking to each other, which made for a boring event. I would be annoyed if my SO was constantly posting, and I would for sure request that my presence on their account(s) was minimized. I, like Brandon, am a private person. 😉 (My IG is private.)

Edited February 6, 2020 by Empress1
Edited the age gap thing

[Ohwell]

18 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I'm Black and "aunt" rhymes with "flaunt." All the Black people I know and have known pronounce it that way.

Depending on the aunt's name, I pronounce it like "flaunt," or "aint" (like "Aint" Bea on the Andy Griffith Show) or "ant."  Weird, I know. 

22 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Isn't she like two years older than he is? Once everybody is over about 16, a two-year age gap is nothing.

To me, she does look older than the small age gap.

[psychoticstate]

So Mindy points out to Zach that he's not wearing his wedding ring.  While she's not wearing her wedding ring.  Okay.  

And Zach, don't say that you never remember to put your jewelry on when we can clearly see your big honking watch.

No matter how much Brandon dislikes the cameras (stupid move if you're going to agree to be filmed for a reality show), there is NO EXCUSE for him to tell Taylor to fuck off.  That would be the end of it right there for me.  At any point but especially only six or seven days in.  

Speaking of Taylor, she was definitely more concerned for her SM and her phone when Brandon was having a meltdown.  

Meka's list of dos and donts was ridiculous.  So she gets the majority of the bed?  I do believe that Michael probably said one thing on camera and another off but this is just bullshit.

At this point, I only think Austin and Jessica and Derrick and Katie have any chance of making it.  

[Palomar]

Why did Zach go on this show?  There must be a reason he isn't with one of those women that he had instant attraction to in the past?  He really seems like he figures he is here and he expects his wife to figure out everything.  You signed up for this.  At least be a man and treat Mindy with respect as you would a friend.  If you are not attracted to her you could at least try having a friendship.  You signed a contract to be married to her (and not be looking for your next conquest) for 8 weeks.  Show some respect and at least try not to be an ass until your "final decision".   There are plenty of other people on this show that didn't stay with their spouses and no one begrudges their choices, but we always end up remembering the ones who were asses.

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, Silver Bells said:

If I were a guy, I wouldn’t want Meka either.  She’s a sourpuss, talks too much about what she wants, how, where, etc.  She doesn’t seem to know how to have a good time and stop complaining.  Michael would not put up with this for the rest of his life.

I'd love to know what Meka would've been like had she not been thrown by whatever happened with Michael. She is rather intense though, in general.

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

Meka is way too young for this.  She's at the age where you have about 28229910101010 deal breakers.  She hasn't learned that life isn't like that and that humans are messy.

She's what, 25?  Isn't Katie 25? Lots of people are married with kids by that age & it's okay for them, but I realize not everyone is mature enough that soon. And if Katie is stuck on an ex, she's not mature enough either.

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Funny--the older I get, the more deal breakers I have. 

I married too young after a shit childhood, not at all ready & hardly knew of a deal breaker.

Way too many years later, I wish I had had many deal breakers.

[Booger666]

I can’t remember Meka’s list for moving in together, but I didn’t think it was that bad.  I remember pick up after yourself and if you get up early don’t wake the other person.  I thought her list was more about basic consideration and got the impression at some point she has lived with someone pretty rude so feels she has to spell out the basics.  Maybe I’m wrong.  Does anyone remember what else was on the list?

[Haute Messe]

8 hours ago, Booger666 said:

I blame Zach.  He could’ve nicely told Mindy that 1) she is lovely and he wishes there was a spark but unfortunately he didn’t feel it, 2) he’s hoping to grow an attraction as he gets to know her better, and 3) it would help if they did fun dates / relationship exercises / sports activities / etc to try to grow a friendship first.  Instead he doesn’t say anything nice, repeatedly tells her he finds her unattractive and it’s on her to fix that, and maybe if he spends time away from her he will find her attractive.  It is utter bullshit.

I think he did express both of these things - albeit in his circuitous garbled way.

5 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Now this is a thing men do to?

I've never heard of guys not wanting to wear wedding rings in my life. Unless they are cheating which goes without saying.

Maybe some people just don't like wearing jewelry or worry about losing or work at jobs where they could easily lose it. These are things I've heard men and women voice as reasons against rings.

My husband didn't wear his after about a week and occasionally when getting dressed up. Didn't bother me at all. Neither my brother nor BIL have worn theirs since the weddings!

3 hours ago, lids said:

I think Brandon is an alcoholic or drug addict. He keeps saying he’s having panic attacks where he starts shaking. But I’m thinking, no, that’s just your body going through detox Brandon.

He doesn’t want the cameras following him to the bar when he starts drinking early in the morning. So he doesn’t go to the bar. But without the alcohol he’s mean and anxious. I hope Dr. Cal is also familiar with the 12 steps of AA because Brandon needs a sponsor more than he needs a wife.

I think this is a real possibility. That used to happen to me before I got sober, and  I remember being shocked that my panic attacks went away after I detoxed.

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

I'm Black and "aunt" rhymes with "flaunt." All the Black people I know and have known pronounce it that way.

All of my white east coast friends say 'aunt' rhyming with 'flaunt'.

Edited February 6, 2020 by lizajane
Grammar

[Racj82]

26 minutes ago, Booger666 said:

I can’t remember Meka’s list for moving in together, but I didn’t think it was that bad.  I remember pick up after yourself and if you get up early don’t wake the other person.  I thought her list was more about basic consideration and got the impression at some point she has lived with someone pretty rude so feels she has to spell out the basics.  Maybe I’m wrong.  Does anyone remember what else was on the list?

A good point was made on the afterbuzz aftershow. Part of the problem is that Meka running down that list is like getting scolded before you've done anything. Like take it easy. Y'all just got in a decent place and here we are with the laundry list. It's just a lot. You don't have to be young to have a long list but a lot of people as they get older realize the reality of dating but also that you have to give a little. There is no perfect date. Especially, on this show.

[Hangin Out]

5 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

Zach and Mindy will get divorced . There is no hope for them and Zach knows it and Mindy knows it but is in contract to pretend to want to make it work . Zach will meet a Skinny , pretty blonde with fake assets , probably get engaged .. maybe even married .. but it will never last . He’s way too self involved . 
I get that you can’t help who you’re attracted to . But then don’t sign up for a show where you don’t know who will be at the other end of the isle when you walk down . Find someone you’re attracted to and date them the old fashioned way . I think it’s more than the way Mindy looks , though I think that’s most of it . She has no swag at all . She’s dorky and doesn’t really have any sex appeal ( in my opinion of course ). But even zachs mom said from the beginning that he was non committal .. which let’s be honest , is easy to see the second you talk to him . 
Conventionally hot guys are generally not what I personally like . They tend to know they’re hot and lead with their looks rather than having much personality . The second we all saw Zach , we knew that’s how he would be . I feel for Mindy because she was so excited in the beginning , and now she’s miserable . What a let down . A lot of people come on this show for promotion of their business , but I think she genuinely wanted to meet someone 

I agree about Zack & Mindy.  I mean, just look at them together.  Looks wise, they do not belong together at all.  He belongs on a magazine, and she belongs in the library. What the hell were they thinking, those experts?  He’s in love with his hair and his mirror, and she wants to put on her ice skates.

[Liberty]

35 minutes ago, Booger666 said:

I can’t remember Meka’s list for moving in together, but I didn’t think it was that bad. 

She forgot to mention 'must wear a bathrobe to bed' until bed time.

 

[sometimesjennifer]

1 hour ago, Booger666 said:

I can’t remember Meka’s list for moving in together, but I didn’t think it was that bad.  I remember pick up after yourself and if you get up early don’t wake the other person.  I thought her list was more about basic consideration and got the impression at some point she has lived with someone pretty rude so feels she has to spell out the basics.  Maybe I’m wrong.  Does anyone remember what else was on the list?

I still have the episode so I went back and watched. She calls the following "house etiquette" she would like him to follow:

- Clean up after yourself and just be a decent human being so that we don't feel like we have to clean up after the other. 
- Most of the bed belongs to her so he can have his little corner.
- It is frustrating to her when someone's always on their phone. Put it down during serious conversations. (He then made some kind of pointed comment about this also applying to Apple watches and she defended herself saying she's just checking the time.)
- "I don't have any pets so you don't have to worry about that." (That was the entire statement so I'm not sure what etiquette that is covering.)
- Don't wake her up if he gets up earlier than her. This includes tip-toeing and keeping the lights off. She claims it's not that hard to get dressed in the dark.

Edited February 6, 2020 by sometimesjennifer

[Ohwell]

59 minutes ago, Booger666 said:

I can’t remember Meka’s list for moving in together, but I didn’t think it was that bad.  I remember pick up after yourself and if you get up early don’t wake the other person.  I thought her list was more about basic consideration and got the impression at some point she has lived with someone pretty rude so feels she has to spell out the basics.  Maybe I’m wrong.  Does anyone remember what else was on the list?

Meka's list wasn't that bad, but it was the way she said those things, like she was a drill sergeant or something, that was off putting.  Plus, they're still on honeymoon and it seemed a bit too soon for do's and don't's.  That's a conversation to have once you move in together, IMO.  

Wow, I just saw that list that sometimesjennifer posted above.  I forgot most of what Meka said and now I have to amend my comment to say that the list was bad.  And what's up with her taking up most of the bed?  Is Michael supposed to sleep in the corner like a dog?

Edited February 6, 2020 by Ohwell

[lilabennet]

About Derek finding Katie attractive:  Most people's best angle is from above (eliminates double chins).  Derek is so much taller than her that must be working to her advantage.

[Ohwell]

26 minutes ago, lizajane said:

9 hours ago, Booger666 said:

I blame Zach.  He could’ve nicely told Mindy that 1) she is lovely and he wishes there was a spark but unfortunately he didn’t feel it, 2) he’s hoping to grow an attraction as he gets to know her better, and 3) it would help if they did fun dates / relationship exercises / sports activities / etc to try to grow a friendship first.  Instead he doesn’t say anything nice, repeatedly tells her he finds her unattractive and it’s on her to fix that, and maybe if he spends time away from her he will find her attractive.  It is utter bullshit.

I think he did express both of these things - albeit in his circuitous garbled way.

Yes, he did express those things. 

[Hangin Out]

17 minutes ago, Liberty said:

She forgot to mention 'must wear a bathrobe to bed' until bed time.

 

From the beginning, I think Michael was disappointed with Meka.  He probably would have loved to be matched with someone like Taylor, beautiful, sexy and fun loving.  So unhappy, he went and slept in another room.  He expected a hot dish to take to bed and have a fabulous honeymoon. Instead, he got a drill Sargent with a list of do’s and dont’s. Plus, he wasn’t attracted to her sexually.

Edited February 6, 2020 by Silver Bells

[Kiss my mutt]

I’m not sure Meka would have been happy with anyone at this point after I saw her right before she walked down the aisle. You could tell she was having major second thoughts, not just because of the dress, that I was audibly telling her, you don’t have to do this! She’s probably kicking herself for not listening to her inner voice. She looks extremely unhappy. 

[Ohwell]

I think Meka and Michael are disappointed with each other, in both looks and personality, so they should be nice to one another and make the best of it until decision day.  They just don't mesh.  It happens.

[Racj82]

To be clear on the men wearing it not wearing rings thing. I'm not saying some men don't wear their rings for whatever reason. It's just this being another "men do this" thing. I'm sure it's a individual thing just like most subjects. For a host of different reasons.

[Soup333]

28 minutes ago, lizajane said:

All of my white east coast friends say 'aunt' rhyming with 'flaunt'.

I think it might be the pronunciation of aunt as aint that's less common. It's always flaunt for aunt with me, even with my Aunt Bea. 

11 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

Wow, I just saw that list that sometimesjennifer posted above.  I forgot most of what Meka said and now I have to amend my comment to say that the list was bad.  And what's up with her taking up most of the bed?  Is Michael supposed to sleep in the corner like a dog?

Meka is what I feared Queen Christine would turn out to be. Luckily, she was nothing like that. I agree with @Ohwell that both of them are unhappy with each other. I don't think she's what he wants either.

[Mrs. Button]

I'm shocked, absolutely SHOCKED, that people who would participate in this reality show would also love to get attention on social media! And that "Mr. Life of the Party" has transformed into ... whatever that was that we witnessed (the murder of the party?). Way to kill a mood! Brandon makes AJ seem like a paragon of anger management and mental health in comparison. I'm actually getting nostalgic for his "I-will-not-eat-alone" rants. 

Quote

If I were writing a sociology article, it'd be interesting to explore why some online commenters put much of the onus on the women when men aren't attracted to them: they should put on some makeup, wash and style their hair, shower after travel, wear cute lingerie, not nag, don't speak stridently or look unhappy, etc.

Funny how it never goes both ways.

Quote

I find her at times to be inauthentic but I'm wondering if it's the stress of having to play nice and pretend there's a chance in hell things could work with him.

Ya think??? He's a Grade A jerk, but for some it's all about how her response to his nasty petri dish of neuroses is wanting. As if ANY sort of response would appease his verbally abusive tantrums — I think he actually feeds off everyone placating him (and don't even get me started on how obnoxious he was to people just trying to do their job and earn a living). I do feel Taylor misstepped by packing his stuff — she showed him that she will accept all his nonsense and even literally clean up his messes. But that's a rookie mistake and completely understandable. Dealing with someone like that as your spouse, especially if you don't have experience with that kind of abuse, is like getting hit by a truck. It's shocking to have someone speak to you like that and allude to all sorts of faults in your character, and understandably she wants to show him he was wrong (she is assuming he is not playing a game, which he is).

Notice how he took what he wanted from what she said, ignored everything else, and built it up to make him more of a victim. That is a classic abusive ploy. I am sure she thought that if she packed all his crap, maybe he would trust her and see that she was on his side (as she has explained at least once), but it will NEVER work. That type is all about dividing people into winners and losers, and beating them, and he thinks he's won since she played his game according to his rules. 

[athousandclowns]

Hope it’s ok to comment about couples couch I think another poster did. 
You could cut the tension with Japheth and Shawniece when Mindy made that call to the expert. Uncomfortable. 

[ramble]

17 hours ago, ramble said:

You’re (Mindy) older than he is and I think you look it. 

I’m quoting myself (how vain!) but since a couple of folks quoted this I thought I’d add my additional two cents, which I guess makes this my four cents.

I know that Mindy is only two years older than Zach. I’m not pointing out the age difference as a big deal to me, I’ve dated guys multiple years younger than me. However, personally I think she looks more than two years older than he is, and I think that type of thing matters to Zach. He has a skin care regimen, a hair care regimen, he is a personal trainer and obviously has a personal workout regimen, he is hyper aware of looks and a person’s physical attributes. Mindy is not unattractive but I think they play in different leagues. If he wasn’t so focused on the physical maybe things would be different. Although I agree with the posters who have mentioned her personality doesn’t seem to appeal to him either. I wish she’d grow some confidence because I think that would make her more attractive regardless of what the hair king thinks.

I will add this caveat: since we’re past episode two and the glow of romantic hope is gone - I’m firmly established at the shallow table. Snarking on Mindy’s older than her age face, Michael’s nasty pube beard, or Katie’s granny panty diaper swimsuit are what I’m here for. 

Y’all that have mentioned Brandon seeming to act like he was tricked into being on this show have hit on a great point. Reality TV is not the place to be if you’re intensely private because avoiding the camera makes for boring TV. Of course being an insufferable jack ass makes for entertaining TV so he’s got that going for him. Or at least we do. 

[sometimesjennifer]

6 minutes ago, ramble said:

Of course being an insufferable jack ass makes for entertaining TV so he’s got that going for him. Or at least we do. 

I was discussing the show with my mom (curse her for getting me into it) and she said it seemed like Brandon was making a scene just to get more air time, which seems counterintuitive to his complaints but maybe he decided he'd get more attention and stand out among the big crowd of five couples as the villain? He's going about it in an awful way, but we're all talking about him the most, so...

[Hangin Out]

9 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

To be clear on the men wearing it not wearing rings thing. I'm not saying some men don't wear their rings for whatever reason. It's just this being another "men do this" thing. I'm sure it's a individual thing just like most subjects. For a host of different reasons.

I don’t understand what you mean.  Some men wear their rings because their wives want them to.  Some wear them because they are religious and it means something to them.  I worked in a big office with Engineers and Lawyers.  I saw a lot of the men wearing wedding rings and have girlfriends on the side.  A wedding ring means different things to different people.  It’s meant to be a symbol of commitment.  Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn’t.  I wear my wedding ring everyday as it’s all diamonds, and who doesn’t love diamonds?  Lol.  My husband of many years doesn’t wear his because he doesn’t like jewelry, and I don’t mind.  If he’s going to fool around, a ring won’t stop him or anyone else for that matter.  Plus, a wedding ring does not stop another woman from making a play for a married man.  

[Hangin Out]

29 minutes ago, athousandclowns said:

Hope it’s ok to comment about couples couch I think another poster did. 
You could cut the tension with Japheth and Shawniece when Mindy made that call to the expert. Uncomfortable. 

What’s with that couple anyway?  I hear they are together, but he goes out with other women?   She’s o.k. with that?

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 hour ago, Liberty said:

She forgot to mention 'must wear a bathrobe to bed' until bed time.

That was crazy.  If I had to wear that bathrobe to bed, I'd be afraid it would strangle me to death while I slept.  At least it would be a peaceful end.

 

1 hour ago, sometimesjennifer said:

- Don't wake her up if he gets up earlier than her. This includes tip-toeing and keeping the lights off. She claims it's not that hard to get dressed in the dark.

That claim about getting dressed in the dark got to me.  He can't have even a little light to do that?  But I'm different from her because if someone had to get up earlier than I do, when a little light came on that would allow him to avoid someone asking him, "Did you get dressed in the dark?" I would come to just enough to think, "I'm really going to enjoy this next bit of sleep" before putting the pillow over my eyes and nestling in to a diagonal position--I love sleeping diagonally and almost never get to do it.

 

34 minutes ago, Mrs. Button said:

Funny how it never goes both ways.

Yep.  Men might be told to clean up, or not wear tattered clothes, but they're never expected to substantially alter what they look like with makeup or hair dye.  Drives me insane.

 

24 minutes ago, ramble said:

However, personally I think she looks more than two years older than he is, and I think that type of thing matters to Zach. He has a skin care regimen, a hair care regimen, he is a personal trainer and obviously has a personal workout regimen, he is hyper aware of looks and a person’s physical attributes. Mindy is not unattractive but I think they play in different leagues.

I do agree that that type of thing probably matters to Zach.  Shoot--she was probably behind the eight ball just by not being blonde.  I think she's pretty.  But I'm no Zach.  Thank god.

Edited February 6, 2020 by StatisticalOutlier

[configdotsys]

I just don't get it. I seriously want to endlessly pound my head against the nearest wall. Zack is a dick to Mindy. He's not attracted to her and has made that perfectly clear. Yet here she is going on about, "I'm not sure if he wants to to try to make this work," and smiling as if all is okay when he throws her crumbs of a semi-compliment. That says that she believes he calls all the shots and she will allow herself to be continually walked on in order to try to find that one thing that will-- to quote Jasmine from last season-- "flip his switch." It is not going to happen and if she doesn't realize that then she is zero intelligence. It is pathetic and embarrassing to watch her try to get his attention when he clearly has zero interest in her.

Good grief at Meka's list of demands. I don't understand people like this, male or female. It's such a turn off. You've just met someone that you want to try to make a life with and you spew a list of stuff that demands that you get all the accommodation and that you will decide what crumbs the other one gets. 

Brandon is such a big baby. Taylor should have left all of his shit in the room. It sounds like we are only seeing a little bit of his true behavior. He has taken off his ring and thrown it and said to Taylor, "You don't want to be married to me"? How weird is that? I think Taylor is all about her social media status and may not be on the up and up but Brandon's reactions to things just reek of being a spoiled man baby who is not used to not having the upper hand with everything and he just can't handle it.

I don't understand why Austin has to "try to like" foods that he doesn't like because his wife likes those foods. And she appreciates that he's trying to like them. What? I get trying something that you maybe have not had in a long time to see if anything's changed, but to constantly eat stuff because you're forcing yourself to try to like it? That's lunacy.

 

[DrewPaul2010]

1 hour ago, Palomar said:

Why did Zach go on this show?  There must be a reason he isn't with one of those women that he had instant attraction to in the past?  He really seems like he figures he is here and he expects his wife to figure out everything.  You signed up for this.  At least be a man and treat Mindy with respect as you would a friend.  If you are not attracted to her you could at least try having a friendship.  You signed a contract to be married to her (and not be looking for your next conquest) for 8 weeks.  Show some respect and at least try not to be an ass until your "final decision".   There are plenty of other people on this show that didn't stay with their spouses and no one begrudges their choices, but we always end up remembering the ones who were asses.

To get to the bottom we may have to use truth serum but then his mumblings may resemble quatrains and 300 years from now predict the future. No matter, they'll be of no help today. 

Its hard to believe any story he has not that we would understand it either way. I love these low information puzzles. Its seems some participants story jives with their actions that they really are seeking a spouse and are hopeful it will be a lasting union. If he was in that boat he would at least be a gentleman as much as possible. I'm trying to think how I would react in that situation, since I agreed to the terms of the show. The problem is...she's not my type by a long stretch. I personally find all the other woman more attractive. On a scale I don't think Jessica is the prettiest but I find her the most attractive because of her personality. That would be awful if (in that identical situation) I found myself more attracted to one of the other guys new wife. Then secretly hoped it failed and offer an all to sympathetic ear. Would be high drama though.

Knowing me I would try to be a gentleman about it for the duration of the honey moon. At least put a pretty face on it and give this sweet person as enchanted a holiday as possible. Then back home off camera or with one of the 'experts' come clean with the issue. That probably would be the classiest way. Would it make sense to go through the process for another 7 weeks? She knows she can't demand something be there that isn't.

[DrewPaul2010]

25 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

 

Quote

I just don't get it. I seriously want to endlessly pound my head against the nearest wall. Zack is a dick to Mindy. He's not attracted to her and has made that perfectly clear. Yet here she is going on about, "I'm not sure if he wants to to try to make this work," and smiling as if all is okay when he throws her crumbs of a semi-compliment. That says that she believes he calls all the shots and she will allow herself to be continually walked on in order to try to find that one thing that will-- to quote Jasmine from last season-- "flip his switch." It is not going to happen and if she doesn't realize that then she is zero intelligence. It is pathetic and embarrassing to watch her try to get his attention when he clearly has zero interest in her.

He's only being a dick in the sense he could wait for a better time and way to handle the situation. He's being a dick because he's being painfully truthful. He may believe its best to lance the boil (figuratively). I would say he is intentionally not giving her hope because he doesn't have any for their relationship. I can only think of one woman who immediately (day 2) loathed her husband but it wasn't just on the account of looks (though that may have factored in). 

 

[princelina]

17 hours ago, Racj82 said:

I would honestly put Meka, Katie and Mindy at a three way tie for least attractive. I honestly hate to judge looks and it's what the spouses feel that matters but we get so many close ups of these people. I don't find any of those women attractive in the slightest.

I think Taylor is objectively pretty; the other 4 all are the type that their personalities would make them more/less attractive.

16 hours ago, Isle Of Why said:

If I were writing a sociology article, it'd be interesting to explore why some online commenters put much of the onus on the women when men aren't attracted to them: they should put on some makeup, wash and style their hair, shower after travel, wear cute lingerie, not nag, don't speak stridently or look unhappy, etc.

 

1 hour ago, Mrs. Button said:

Funny how it never goes both ways.

People commented on Doug's moles and Basement's gigantic veneers when their wives weren't attracted to them. And Neal's beard before we all hated his wife. And the one guy's sweaty pits.

 

1 hour ago, Racj82 said:

To be clear on the men wearing it not wearing rings thing. I'm not saying some men don't wear their rings for whatever reason. It's just this being another "men do this" thing. I'm sure it's a individual thing just like most subjects. For a host of different reasons.

In our house Mr. P likes to wear his ring almost all of the time, while I mostly wear mine when dressed up.  Because I like to put on hand lotion all day in the winter and sunscreen in the summer 😄 

Edited February 7, 2020 by princelina
forgot about the sweaty pits :D

[absolutelyido]

2 hours ago, ramble said:

I know that Mindy is only two years older than Zach. I’m not pointing out the age difference as a big deal to me, I’ve dated guys multiple years younger than me. However, personally I think she looks more than two years older than he is, and I think that type of thing matters to Zach. He has a skin care regimen, a hair care regimen, he is a personal trainer and obviously has a personal workout regimen, he is hyper aware of looks and a person’s physical attributes. Mindy is not unattractive but I think they play in different leagues. If he wasn’t so focused on the physical maybe things would be different. Although I agree with the posters who have mentioned her personality doesn’t seem to appeal to him either. I wish she’d grow some confidence because I think that would make her more attractive regardless of what the hair king thinks.

I totally agree with this which, to me, makes it completely ridiculous that the 'expert' that Mindy called (Dr. Cole?) said that they don't match people based upon attractiveness because attraction can grow. Just looking at Zach and talking to him about his interests for just a few minutes would make it obvious that looks are very important to him. He is not a person who is going to be interested in a relationship with a woman who he doesn't think is on par with him looks-wise. Not only because he won't be attracted to her, but because of what other people would think. He thinks he's a 10 and there's no way he wants to be married to someone that he perceives to be less than that because, in his mind, people would wonder why he couldn't do better. How did the 'experts' not pick up on that?

 

Edited February 7, 2020 by absolutelyido

[Koalagirl]

20 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...Derek finds her pretty enough so that is all that matters...

Derek is a foot taller so most of the time he only sees the top of her head.

[rebel2u]

21 hours ago, Cammi said:

Ima just say it. Katie ain’t cute. Derrick is much more attractive. Katie looks like a chinless baby seal. I’m VERY surprised Derrick is attracted to her. If I was just looking at the cast with no frame of reference, I’d peg him to be in Zack’s shoes. Mindy is more attractive than Katie imo. Surprised Zack has attraction issues, I would’ve assumed it’d be Katie and Derrick. Katie needs to thank her stars Derrick isn’t pulling a Zack. She’s punching above her weight with him. 

THANK YOU!   I thought it was just me.

Everytime I look at her she reminds me of the children with the disease that causes them to age prematurely .

[humbleopinion]

3 minutes ago, rebel2u said:

 

Everytime I look at her she reminds me of the children with the disease that causes them to age prematurely .

Never have I ever thought that a MAFS cast member would be described as progeria-esque.

I was thinking she looked more like slim younger, Jabba the Hut when she and Derek did a thing...

[Brooklynista]

5 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Meka is way too young for this.  She's at the age where you have about 28229910101010 deal breakers.  She hasn't learned that life isn't like that and that humans are messy.

Ha! I still have the "list" of what my perfect mate needed when I was in my 20's. Every so often I look at the list and then look at what I actually have on the other side of the couch and laugh and laugh.

Ah youth.

[Ohwell]

Katie has this habit of tucking her chin into her neck and I think she'd look better if she stuck her chin out more.  

[Stinamaia]

I grew up in Kansas. My grandmother did not allow me to say ant for aunt.  It was a pet peeve of hers. I always sort of felt I was being fancy saying aunt when others said ant, but such was my grandmother’s strong influence on me.  I’ve said aunt all my life except for that time I said ant to my grandmother. 

[configdotsys]

 

1 hour ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

He's only being a dick in the sense he could wait for a better time and way to handle the situation. He's being a dick because he's being painfully truthful. He may believe its best to lance the boil (figuratively). I would say he is intentionally not giving her hope because he doesn't have any for their relationship. I can only think of one woman who immediately (day 2) loathed her husband but it wasn't just on the account of looks (though that may have factored in). 

 

I don't see him as being painfully truthful at all. He goes on and on and says nothing, never getting to the point, never owning up to what he really means when he talks about growing attraction. If he was any sort of decent person, he would lance the boil and tell her that there's no spark for him and it would be best if they stayed in the friend zone. Instead, he goes on about nonsense and then will throw in something like "I'm happy because I'm here with you" in order to get her hopes up that things are getting better. It is cruel and dickish to do that. He is totally giving her hope when he does things like that. Mindy is no better being a grown woman who is obviously too stupid to realize that he's not interested.

[Elizzikra]

9 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Now this is a thing men do to?

I've never heard of guys not wanting to wear wedding rings in my life. Unless they are cheating which goes without saying.

Maybe some people just don't like wearing jewelry or worry about losing or work at jobs where they could easily lose it. These are things I've heard men and women voice as reasons against rings. 

It's also tradition. People seem to love bucking tradition these days. Moreso younger people.

My father never wore his wedding ring and he never cheated on my mother. He adored her. If he was alive, he'd be 90. He was a dentist and the ring got in the way; he also worked with a bunch of chemicals that would have damaged it. I think after he retired it no longer fit (he had gained weight) and he never bothered having it resized.

My husband hasn't taken his ring off since our wedding. I take off my engagement ring sometimes but I always wear my wedding ring. 

My point? Rings mean whatever a couple wants them to mean. I'm into the symbolism and the sentimental value; for my parents, they really didn't matter. To each his/her own.

Quote

I don't have the dog gene either. A dog in bed makes me cringe.

My house would kill you 🙂

 

Quote

The more I see Austin, the cuter he looks; the more I see Jessica, the older she looks.  Even though I don't see any sparks between them, I do think they make a good couple.  Maybe they don't want to be too romantic on tv and I can't blame them for that. 

I think the tan really looks good on Austin. I think that Jessica is a standard cute girl. To me, they look good together. I actually really like their general reluctance to talk about sex. I think they are not PDA people and I kind of like that about something.

Quote

Wonder why Greg and Deonna haven't been one?

I think that Greg and Deonna actually went on the show to find a  spouse and, having done that, they're done. I don't think they have any further use for the show and I respect them if they are just out there living their lives and moving on. I hope they are happy - I really liked them together.

[bichonblitz]

9 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Wedding rings, schmedding rings for guys mean nothing.  My husband’s been in the drawer since day 2 as he doesn’t like jewelry and I don’t care.  They do not deter a woman, and lots of married men who wear them fool around or have mistresses.  I myself love my ring and wear it everyday.

My husband never wears his, either. He works with his hands alot and felt like it got in the way. Better that than getting it caught in some piece of machinery and getting his finger cut off! I don't even wear mine all the time. Sometimes I take it off to drop it in the jewelry cleaner and forget about it for days at a time. I also don't like to sleep with it on, it bugs me.  Not a big deal to either one of us. 

[bichonblitz]

23 hours ago, Cammi said:

Katie needs to thank her stars Derrick isn’t pulling a Zack. She’s punching above her weight with him. 

Yup, and judging from the previews she blows it by telling the expert in front of Derek she still has feelings for her ex. 

I see Derek and Austin really trying to make a connection with their wives and they are bending over backwards to make them happy. I see Katie and Austins wife doing  nothing in return. Katie tells Derek she needs her space and Austins wife (sorry keep forgetting her name) has a bossy edge to her personality. Close the door. No, close it all the way! That curl in your hair is bugging me, it doesn't belong there. But.....then she comes out with this gem: "I'm not trying to change you" Red flag.  

 

[DrewPaul2010]

18 minutes ago, absolutelyido said:

I totally agree with this which, to me, makes it completely ridiculous that the 'expert' that Mindy called (Dr. Cole?) said that they don't match people based upon attractiveness because attraction can grow. Just looking at Zach and talking to him about his interests for just a few minutes would make it obvious that looks are very important to him. He is not a person who is going to be interested in a relationship with a woman who he doesn't think is on par with him looks-wise. Not only because he won't be attracted to her, but because of what other people would think. He thinks he's a 10 and there's no way he wants to be married to someone that he perceives to be less than that because, in his mind, people would wonder why he couldn't do better. How did the 'experts' not pick up on that?

 

It would be impossible to guarantee attraction but it has to be a goal knowing that first visual pop is crucial to success. They don't have to be overwhelmed but its disastrous if underwhelmed. I absolutely believe they do their best to measure people on a scale and attempt to match them on that basis also being guided by their stated preferences. Brandon and Zach are the most suspect about ulterior motives because they would have no problem dating and finding a woman that meets their specifications. 

Mindy doesn't need implants, she needs a hair do and put on 25 pounds she would fill out nicely.

 

 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Sometimes I take it off to drop it in the jewelry cleaner and forget about it for days at a time.

I don't know why I think this but I think you're not supposed to do this. I always have this vision of leaving my rings in the cleaner, coming back a few days later only to find they have completely dissolved!

[Koalagirl]

Kudos to camerawork/editing when Zach was saying he forgets to put jewelry on all the while the camera was focusing on the gigantic watch and bracelet on his wrist.

Meka is the one of the most joyless people I’ve ever seen on tv.

[DrewPaul2010]

41 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

 

I don't see him as being painfully truthful at all. He goes on and on and says nothing, never getting to the point, never owning up to what he really means when he talks about growing attraction. If he was any sort of decent person, he would lance the boil and tell her that there's no spark for him and it would be best if they stayed in the friend zone. Instead, he goes on about nonsense and then will throw in something like "I'm happy because I'm here with you" in order to get her hopes up that things are getting better. It is cruel and dickish to do that. He is totally giving her hope when he does things like that. Mindy is no better being a grown woman who is obviously too stupid to realize that he's not interested.

In the ideal world how should he handle the simple fact he doesn't find her attractive? Is there any good way to say that, that won't hurt feelings? I agree he could do it much better, I'm smarter now than when I was at his age. I'm sure a mirror is his favorite friend and his mumblings are senseless...

If I did something like this at 30 years old I don't believe I'd consider the possibility I might not please someone...I'd be more worried about the opposite.

[humbleopinion]

Ridiculous that Breakfast Michael wore a too tight thick robe to bed but he told Meka and the audience he prefers to sleep commando.

 Perhaps he could have worn shorts and a tank top instead of a robe?

Nope, Meka was taking no chances and they must have agreed that she would sleep in the same bed only if they both had robes on.

 

[configdotsys]

4 minutes ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

In the ideal world how should he handle the simple fact he doesn't find her attractive? Is there any good way to say that, that won't hurt feelings? I agree he could do it much better, I'm smarter now than when I was at his age. I'm sure a mirror is his favorite friend and his mumblings are senseless...

If I did something like this at 30 years old I don't believe I'd consider the possibility I might not please someone...I'd be more worried about the opposite.

I just think in my own mind that it would be better for him to lay his cards on the table and tell her that he is not feeling it rather than spewing off things that make zero sense and almost cruelly teasing her with periodic one liners that make her believe she has a chance with him. I know it is early in the season but to see that smile that she does when he says something nice is just cringeworthy. I'm sure the experts will talk to him when they return. We'll have to see if he gives them the 20 minute empty speech about how he feels or does not feel about her.

[bichonblitz]

27 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I don't know why I think this but I think you're not supposed to do this. I always have this vision of leaving my rings in the cleaner, coming back a few days later only to find they have completely dissolved!

 The cleaning solution is very mild. It's not made of battery acid or anything like that, lol. 

 

Edited February 7, 2020 by bichonblitz

[Ginger]

Apologies if someone posted something similar before (trying to read through all of the comments!), but the thing this show does wrong, or should I say the MAIN thing, is that they discount chemistry. Two really attractive people can look great on paper but have no chemistry in real life. I'm sure we all know a couple of people that we think "don't go together" but still find each other attractive and have a great relationship.  And thank God for that! There is just no way an "expert" can determine this before two people meet. Zach is just not attracted to Mindy - through no fault of her own - and you can't force that. I understand the concept of "growing to love someone" but in our current culture I think a relationship like that working is extremely rare.