Quotable Quotes: Lines from TV You've Made Your Own

[selkie]

From Babylon 5:

Assorted variations on "Time is infinite. You are finite. Zathrus is finite. This... this is wrong tool."

Ivanova- "No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow."

A shortened version of  Marcus saying ""You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."

Kosh's "The hour of scampering" is often used to describe my cats

 

Editing for one more:

"Vir, Intelligence has nothing to do with politics."

Edited December 3, 2018 by selkie

[AimingforYoko]

2 hours ago, selkie said:

From Babylon 5:

Assorted variations on "Time is infinite. You are finite. Zathrus is finite. This... this is wrong tool."

Ivanova- "No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow."

A shortened version of  Marcus saying ""You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."

Kosh's "The hour of scampering" is often used to describe my cats

 

Editing for one more:

"Vir, Intelligence has nothing to do with politics."

Vir's wish for Mr. Morden: "I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I want to look up into your lifeless eyes and wave like this." It was made even better that it came to be.

G'Kar had too many good speeches to count, I think that's why Andreas Katsulas tolerated the makeup, but my favorite was the simplest:

"Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. How do you apologize to them?"

[selkie]

1 hour ago, AimingforYoko said:

Vir's wish for Mr. Morden: "I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I want to look up into your lifeless eyes and wave like this." It was made even better that it came to be.

 

When I herd that Stephen Furst had passed away, I found myself digging for clips of the two scenes in that sequence because it really was a great payoff for the Vir's whole story arc. But it's probably a good thing I've never had to break out that particular speech in real life. (I think I have muttered the 'Ivanova is GOD' bit under my breath a time or two back in the day though.)

[Raja]

From the Shannon's Deal pilot episode, where knowing his phone is being tapped by the FBI he cons the US Attorney/ US government and sets  up a phone call as if he has evidence of an Iran Contra/Snowfall type government drug deal : I got it on tape "muy dramatico"

[merylinkid]

In any sporting event that looks to be less than exciting I will often quote Mrs. Lanningham from West Wing "I'm sure it's going to be a barn burner."  Used it just last night when the score was 6-0 going into the 4th quarter.  

[proserpina65]

I fully intend to work "Yippee ki-yay, melon farmer!" into my repertoire.

[Dr.OO7]

I realized I'd been watching too much "Homicide Hunter" when I found myself saying "My, my my" to someone.

[annzeepark914]

When someone says, "How can that be?" I like to say, "Oh, it be". Thank you, Seinfeld writers.

[Minneapple]

Gilmore Girls.

Anytime someone mentions an early time in the AM, I say "They have one of those in the morning?"

And during circular arguments "We've been here before and I recognize that tree!"

Of course -- "People are particularly stupid today, I can't talk to them anymore."

[JTMacc99]

On 12/2/2018 at 3:07 PM, MissAlmond said:

Long before 9/11, I was saying "Let's Roll" à la Mr. Burns after watching The Simpsons "Rosebud" episode.  

I speak fluent Simpsons. Yesterday FXX showed the Valentines Day episode where Ralph fell for Lisa (I choo choo choose you...)

At one point Ralph shows up at the door, and Lisa tells Homer to get rid of him. So Homer opens up the door and says "She's on the can. Get lost." To which Ralph replies "Okay! I'd do anything for Lisa." Homer is intrigued. Next scene is Ralph on the Simpson's roof with a broom and an open bucket of tar. He says, "Mr. Simpson, these fumes are making me dizzy."

And that's when you hear Homer dismissively deliver a line that I use all the time, and have been using for 20 years, "Yeah, they'll do that."

[TheLastKidPicked]

4 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

I speak fluent Simpsons.

One Homer line that comes up quite a bit is when somebody asks about life goals:

"I don't know.  I figured right now we'd be driving around in a van solving mysteries."

[Colleenna]

On 12/13/2018 at 1:52 PM, Camille said:

I realized I'd been watching too much "Homicide Hunter" when I found myself saying "My, my my" to someone.

I have two favorite Kenda-isms: 

"Well, my, my, my"  and

"It's not against the law to be an a$$hole. If it was, we'd have to build a fence around the entire state and tell everyone they are under arrest." 

[KWalkerInc]

There was an episode of Daria where the Fashion Club had stopped at a diner (I think) and some were making rude remarks about a woman wearing stretch pants.  Stacy suddenly realized that (gasp) SHE was wearing stretch pants too and began hyperventilating and having a meltdown.  Sandi calmed her by grabbing her and proclaiming, "They're leggings!"  I find myself repeating this line (in Sandi's voice) whenever there is mention of leggings in an ad (especially one for Fabletics that comes on a lot during Living Single reruns on MTV2).

A few years ago, Zooey Deschanel did an ad where she was interacting with Siri and suddenly asks her, "Is that rain?" when it sounds like it's a monsoon coming down.  I will ask this with Zooey's intonation, sometimes just to be sarcastic because it's pouring like in the commercial, but other times when I really can't tell if it's raining or not.

[Minneapple]

I only just realized that sometimes when bad things happen, I break out with "THIS is the Bad Place!"

[cpcathy]

I am saying "fork" and "forking" waaaaay too much.

[Mabinogia]

8 hours ago, Minneapple said:

I only just realized that sometimes when bad things happen, I break out with "THIS is the Bad Place!"

I say it every morning when I get to work. 

I also tend to say "holy mother forking shirtballs"... a LOT

[festivus]

I use a lot of stuff from Futurama. Like, "Uh whaaa?" and "Good news, everyone!" I also will just randomly bust out with "Pazuzu. Pazuuuuzu!" Mostly the last one when I'm alone in the house like a weirdo. Also quite fond of using "Bite my shiny metal ass".

[festivus]

I also make that noise that headless body of Agnew makes a lot. Sorry, I'll stop now. I love Futurama.

[catlover79]

On 7/14/2014 at 11:25 AM, zxy556575 said:

Another one from Seinfeld that my sister and I use with each other when there's an event we don't want to go to: "Ya gotta see the baaaaaby."

My mom and I have said that for every one of my sister's kids. LOL!!!

[catlover79]

On 2/19/2019 at 11:42 PM, Colleenna said:

"Well, my, my, my" 

That, and "these guys are so stupid, they couldn't organize a trip to the bathroom". His sarcasm is hilarious.

I love to quote Statler and Waldorf from The Muppets. Who doesn't love those two geriatric jokers?

Balki from Perfect Strangers was always good for fun quotes. "Well, paint me green and call me Gumby!!"

Any quote from the late, great Det. Lennie Briscoe. "You ever hear of the seven rings of Saturn? These are the two rings of Rikers!!"

[Colleenna]

OK, I'm showing my age here, but from "Married With Children," a la Al Bundy: "Let's rock." 

[KWalkerInc]

Whenever I read or hear something about a celebrity whose name I don't recognize, I find myself quoting Amy Poehler's imitation of Kelly Ripa on SNL skits:  "I don't who that is, Reege!"  Of course, the point in the sketch was that she was younger and didn't know stars of the past era; but in my case it's almost always people who are younger (including about 3/4 of the people mentioned when E! sends me its daily newsletter).

[TheLastKidPicked]

On 5/28/2019 at 1:28 PM, catlover79 said:

I love to quote Statler and Waldorf from The Muppets. Who doesn't love those two geriatric jokers?

Funny you should mention that.  It's the very first joke I ever learned and you can just imagine a little seven year old kid using the joke at every possible opportunity:

After a musical number, Animal throws an octopus into Statler and Waldorf's box.  Statler starts to throw him out, but Waldorf protests:

"Be careful!  This octopus is a family man.  He has a wife and squids."

 

[Hooper]

Coach from Friday Night Lights:

" I need a scotch flavored drink."

[kiddo82]

14 hours ago, KWalkerInc said:

Whenever I read or hear something about a celebrity whose name I don't recognize, I find myself quoting Amy Poehler's imitation of Kelly Ripa on SNL skits:  "I don't who that is, Reege!"  Of course, the point in the sketch was that she was younger and didn't know stars of the past era; but in my case it's almost always people who are younger (including about 3/4 of the people mentioned when E! sends me its daily newsletter).

Are we related?  My family and I say that all the time to each other whenever one of us brings up the name of a person (famous or otherwise) the other one doesn't recognize.  In fact, after Regis Philbin's death I found a clip and sent it on our group text which also lead me down a very entertaining Amy Poehler YouTube rabbit hole.  The sketches where she plays a veeery energetic preteen and Horatio Sanz is her apathetic step dad (Right Rick?Right Rick?Rick!Rick!Rick!Rick!Rick!) are another family favorite.

Edited August 7, 2020 by kiddo82

[KWalkerInc]

This week when the episode of All American was actually a backdoor pilot for an upcoming spinoff, I quoted an episode of The Simpsons that featured three fake spinoffs they pretended to have developed, as it begins with Troy McClure (Phil Hartman) saying, "Spinoff!  Is there any word more thrilling to the human soul?"

[jewel21]

"Whatever moves your furniture." - Alec, "Dark Angel"

[MargeGunderson]

“Good God, Lemon!” - 30 Rock. Comes in handy in a surprising number of situations. Also from 30 Rock “the pig spoor has hit the wind spinner!”

[Lugal]

"My days of not taking you seriously sure are coming to a middle." - Mal, Firefly

Still trying to figure out ways to work "No, Firelord Ozai, you're not wearing pants!" into casual conversation.

[WinnieWinkle]

"Don't let a suitcase full of cheese be your big fork and spoon."  From Everybody Loves Raymond, and surprisingly applicable in many situations.

"Hands off girls, he's mine."  Also from Everybody Loves Raymond - and used whenever my husband does something particularly eye roll worthy (like today when he wore steel toed boots with his shorts to do some gardening).

"You see how he dotes on me." From Frasier, originally said by Frasier's agent Bebe after her fiancee has suggested Frasier use electric shock therapy to cure her smoking habit.

[Bort]

I recently binged The Nanny, it’s on HBO Max. 
 

CC: Do you know what cheers me up?

Fran: A fifth of scotch and a fresh pack of batteries?

[KWalkerInc]

When I learn the answer to something (usually trivial) that has been bugging me, I like to use a quote from Bart to Homer on the episode of The Simpsons where Homer discovers that his face is apparently on boxes of "Mr. Sparkle" detergent.  After the truth is revealed, Bart says to him, "There's your answer, fishbulb."

The '80s channel likes to play "Somebody's Watching Me" by Rockwell a lot, and I can't help but to quote Loni Love from an episode of one of the I Love the '80s series:  "Ain't nobody watching you, Rockwell!  You ain't that fine!"

[DrSpaceman73]

On 7/8/2021 at 3:22 PM, MargeGunderson said:

“Good God, Lemon!” - 30 Rock. Comes in handy in a surprising number of situations. Also from 30 Rock “the pig spoor has hit the wind spinner!”

30 rock is full of them. 

My Facebook 30 rock group uses several. 

That's not that much cheese 

Pubeshirt..

I don't see why they're mutually exclusive!

Also archer is a good source. 

Phrasing!  

Danger zone. 

[proserpina65]

"Smells like stink"

Said by Geoffrey Zakarian on a Chopped episode years ago.

[ctlady]

Season 7 Negan on TWD:  "Easy peasy lemon squeezy"  I say that a lot after I finish fixing something

Kelly from BH90210 when having to choose between Dylan and Brandon:   "I choose me"

SNL - "More cowbell!"

And, IMHO, THE quote of quotes:  Blood Money episode of Breaking Bad:  "Tread lightly"

[Cloud9Shopper]

Whenever there is a grainy security camera footage of a crime suspect and the local news says to call the police if you have information on the suspect, I always think of this exchange on the Cybil Shepherd episode of SVU:

Rollins: “The suspect is about six feet tall, a black male and he was wearing a baseball cap.”

Munch: “Well that narrows it down.”

The Golden Girls:

Dorothy: ”You know, a little of that goes a very long way.”

Also, pretty much the entire scene at the funeral home when they’re trying to plan a funeral for Frieda Claxton, and Blanche singing in the Rusty Anchor. “I wanna be loved by YOU, just YOU and nobody else but YOU!” The second she falls on the piano I can’t keep it together anymore. 

[Raja]

On 5/28/2019 at 1:38 PM, Colleenna said:

OK, I'm showing my age here, but from "Married With Children," a la Al Bundy: "Let's rock." 

I was hearing about an attack on a flight attendant and wonder if the younger generation boards planes ready to act if LETS ROLL call is heard in the cabin.

[isalicat]

Somewhat late to the party, but "Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey..." is now my favorite exclamation of surprise or distress...

(from "Line of Duty")

[Mabinogia]

Just now, isalicat said:

Somewhat late to the party, but "Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey..." is now my favorite exclamation of surprise or distress...

I have used "Jesus, Mary and Joseph" in the past but I am totally adding the wee donkey next time. 

[Bethany]

Said in a high pitched voice: "Ooh, Duchess, look at me! My quantum gravity is positively loopy!"  One of my favourite lines from BBT.  Remarkably hard to work into a conversation though.

[Luckylyn]

“Never half-ass two things.  Whole-ass one thing.” Ron Sawnson, Parks and Recreation 

[SVNBob]

Relatedly, in bold:

Bart : No offense, Homer, but your half-assed underparenting was a lot more fun than your half-assed overparenting.

Homer : But I'm using my whole ass.

[KWalkerInc]

On the spring training baseball games, when the announcers for whichever team is doing the broadcast invariably start talking about baseball's new rules and how they're going to make everything wonderful, I have to use a quote from Homer Simpson:  "Yes.  Everyone loves rules" (said in a monotone).

When my cat starts bugging me to find out if it's time for his dinner (which is often) and it turns out he is right, I say, "You are correct, sir!" in the style of Phil Hartman's imitation of Ed McMahon on SNL.

[MissAlmond]

Eva: "Life is hard! That's what Numa says."

The Alfred Hitchcock Hour - "Where the Woodbine Twineth"

 

 

[kiddo82]

We were having a conversation today at work and I was able to organically work in the sentence "Well, condoms are only 97% effective"* and no one interrupted me to say "THEY SHOULD PUT THAT ON THE BOX!" and I swear these people don't deserve me.  

*Friends 08:03

[annzeepark914]

From ol' Ferret Face, Frank on MASH: "Glorioski" 

From Suzanne on Designing Women: "Oh big woo!"

[DearEvette]

There are two Simpsons quotes that I use all the time and for so long I sometimes forget where they came from.

When I am really confused about something someone just told me and I need clarification I'll often say. 'Wait.... Who shot who in the what now?"

Also, (I actually had to look to this up to make sure it was a Simpsons quote) but there is an episode where Monty Burns is getting married and the pastor is taking forever and Burns says "We've heard enough about Blizz-Blazz and Him-Ham already, get to the point."

My husband and I use "blizz-blzz and him-ham"  in place of yadda-yadda-yadda when we're telling a story and want to skip over parts. 

[Raja]

From Cobra Kai Johnny Lawrence not letting Miguel dodge his question or give the politically correct answer "is she hot?" repeated until Miguel finally awnsers his question.

[tearknee]

On 3/19/2023 at 5:20 AM, MissAlmond said:

Eva: "Life is hard! That's what Numa says."

The Alfred Hitchcock Hour - "Where the Woodbine Twineth"

 

 

I love that episode. And that white young girl actor that ends up permanently a doll? The Bailee Madison of 1960s no-budget creepy.