S05.E07: From Monogamy to Polygamy

[Toaster Strudel]

Since I missed nothing in the last episode I'll start the thread for the next one because the preview just bugs.

 

Was it my imagination or was Kodouche sneering at  the other polygamous family for sharing sleeping quarters?  Maybe they're not riding the TLC gravy train like you are, asshat!

[Alexis]

The preview bothered me also. Especially the part where it appears one of the wives is explaining why they decided to be polygamous and she says something like this.... "Tom (or whatever the husband is called) wanted me to sit on the sofa and hold his hand while he watched TV but I wanted to bake cookies instead so I thought, hmmm.... What if there were two of me?"

Seriously? This is the logic behind the polygamous decision. Stop the madness!

[Carolsgirl]

Was it my imagination or was Kodouche sneering at the other polygamous family for sharing sleeping quarters? !

Maybe TLC is trying to give Kody some ideas to increase ratings.

[Rhondinella]

From TheTVDB:

 

A Christian couple in Missouri tell the Browns about their decision to become polygamists and how it has affected their lives.

 

 

 

[Featherhat]

I actually think wanting to do your own thing or work long distance whilst still having a partner who’d prefer more together time is a reason some people choose non religious polyamory, although it doesn't always work out the way people expect. Wanting to “bake cookies” rather than watch TV is a very stupid way of phrasing it.

[LuckyBitch]

The preview bothered me also. Especially the part where it appears one of the wives is explaining why they decided to be polygamous and she says something like this.... "Tom (or whatever the husband is called) wanted me to sit on the sofa and hold his hand while he watched TV but I wanted to bake cookies instead so I thought, hmmm.... What if there were two of me?"

Seriously? This is the logic behind the polygamous decision. Stop the madness!

 

Well then, what the hell. I'm in 'cause I'd like a few extra wives - one can clean my house, one can do all the laundry, and one can do the food shopping and cooking. That will free up a lot of time and energy for me and and my husband to have wild sex.

 

Huh, it doesn't work that way? Oh, damn it!

[RealityCowgirl]

Seriously? This is the logic behind the polygamous decision. Stop the madness!

Yeesh. My initial reaction is to see this as a good thing: pull all these nitwits and the losers they worship out of circulation and send them off somewhere together so they won't bother anyone. Then I remember that we all end up paying for that when they inevitably file for bankruptcy or end up abusing welfare because they can't sustain their "lifestyle."

Edited July 13, 2014 by RealityCowgirl

[EtheltoTillie]

I actually think wanting to do your own thing or work long distance whilst still having a partner who’d prefer more together time is a reason some people choose non religious polyamory, although it doesn't always work out the way people expect. Wanting to “bake cookies” rather than watch TV is a very stupid way of phrasing it.

Nah, they're just horndogs--with a bizarre veneer of togetherness, because they have to follow the social strictures of the "poly" lifestyle, where they pretend they're never jealous of each other.

 

 Have you ever seen that Showtime series Polyamory?  The couples have sex with each other and with outside boyfriends and girlfriends who must meet all the people in the original "triad" or "quad."  Don't worry, jealousy still rears its head as it does here.  We'll have to start a thread here when the show returns.

[crgirl412]

 

Have you ever seen that Showtime series Polyamory?  The couples have sex with each other and with outside boyfriends and girlfriends who must meet all the people in the original "triad" or "quad."  Don't worry, jealousy still rears its head as it does here.  We'll have to start a thread here when the show returns.

Yes, I've seen the show.  It was interesting in a very odd way.  I think that there was a thread for that show or one just like it on TWoP (RIP) that got a bit of traffic.

 

For kicks and giggles, I googled something about looking for a sister wife and there are lots of people looking- both the sister wife and families!!  Most that I saw were not religious just wanted the lifestyle.  One couple wanted a "triad." Oh my........

 

I can't even find one husband!!!  Sheesh!! 

Edited July 14, 2014 by crgirl412

[Armchair Critic]

The polyg guy they visited thinks he's Captain Von Trapp lining up his kids and calling them out military style.

[MarkySnark]

My biggest question is how in the hell did they get Lambert's all to themselves? That place always has lines out the door!

[RealityCowgirl]

Sometimes, God's answer is "no." And sometimes, it's (through the tired little body He gave you) "STOP!" Funny how those messages never are as crystal clear as whatshisname's "testimony of the pants."

I seriously want to punch them. Every. Single (adult). One.

Oh, goody. Montages next week. Pull the plug, TLC.

Edited July 14, 2014 by RealityCowgirl

[Leigh3]

I am thinking this family they are visiting share a bed. They just want to be "free to be".

[Armchair Critic]

No wonder Janelle can't lose weight, almost every scene is them eating.

[MarkySnark]

Janelle was so checked out at dinner when the Richards were talking about how they decided to become plural that at one point I thought she had actually fallen asleep.

[BradandJanet]

I thought Robyn was checking her phone during the restaurant meal. She had her head down and look preoccupied. Maybe she was as bored with the conversation as I was.

[RealityCowgirl]

Maybe she was as bored with the conversation as I was.

Yes. Good heavens, YES. I mourn the hour of my life that I sacrificed to this slop.

Edited July 14, 2014 by RealityCowgirl

[Katjoy26]

The polyg guy they visited thinks he's Captain Von Trapp lining up his kids and calling them out military style.

Yeah, I think he's seen The Sound Of Music one too many times!

 

It seemed pretty obvious that the Richards' share a bedroom without actually wanting to come out and say it! Is that everyone else's impression as well?

[purpleflowers]

I noticed that Wife #1 of that Richards family was wearing MSWC jewelry! A charm bracelet and earrings. So...they are promoting through this family instead of improving the website? Curious.

 

Christine went from roosters to plural families...was that a real conversation? lol! Although the rest of it was touching. 

 

I think this family is pretty interesting, different from other ones seen on tv. Interesting traditions/quirks these people have. 

Edited July 14, 2014 by purpleflowers

[MarkySnark]

Also thought it was real classy of the Brown Klowns to take the first family tradition the Richards shared with them - the taking the first bite at the same time - and mock it in the couch session. And they wonder why they have no friends.

[Galloway Cave]

 

It seemed pretty obvious that the Richards' share a bedroom without actually wanting to come out and say it! Is that everyone else's impression as well?

I thought that maybe the wives share a bedroom and Captain Von Trapp has his own room. The wives then take turns visiting The Captain on their night. I've heard of Biblical pligs having that arrangement.

 

I just don't understand how these guys can convince a woman that their marriage, that has started out as monogamous and already has several children in it, needs to become polygamous. Capt VT Richards has the charisma of a wet noodle; I have no idea how he got his wife to follow his wet dream into a plig marriage.

 

LOVED the sea of red hair in that family.

 

 

I noticed that Wife #1 of that Richards family was wearing MSWC jewelry!

Robyn tweeted they gave the Richard wives MSWC joory and they wore it during the couch interviews. 

Edited July 14, 2014 by Galloway Cave

[DanaMB]

 

Also thought it was real classy of the Brown Klowns to take the first family tradition the Richards shared with them - the taking the first bite at the same time - and mock it in the couch session. And they wonder why they have no friends.

 

I thought the same thing.  They were so condescending that I actually didn't like any of them at that point in the ep, and I usually don't mind one or two of the adults. 

 

And if I hear one more time that monogamous people don't have as much fun as plygs...

[BradandJanet]

Robyn tweeted they gave the Richard wives MSWC joory and they wore it during the couch interviews. 

 

Well, the SW jewelry finally found its target demographic.

 

It looks like wife #2 has ended up being the live-in help for the kids wife #1 keeps producing. I'm sure that's not what she had planned when she got into this relationship. Also, Kody kept saying that the family reminded him of his family when the kids were younger. Yes--poor.

[VioletNevermind]

Wow.  I'm watching this episode for the second time right now just to be sure that my first impressions were correct.  They were.  The Richards are . . . odd.  The kids who had to participate in Dad's little parlor trick where he summons them all at the snap of a finger looked pretty uncomfortable.  I'd love to see him try that shit in another five or six years when the oldest ones are in their teens.  Good luck, Dad.  The first wife sounded like she was on Quaaludes as she was explaining the moronic reasons they became polygamous.  Her husband can't entertain himself on the couch for a half hour while she makes cookies (probably for him)?  Once again, a major life/marriage choice that solely benefits the man. 

 

The way Kody teased that poor little red-haired boy until he ran out of the room turned my stomach.  What an asshole!  Kody does something incredibly cringe-worthy every. single. episode.  How on earth does not only one, but FOUR women find him in any way acceptable physically or socially?  Honestly, I really need to know because I'm more baffled with every week of this crapfest.  (And yet I KEEP WATCHING!) 

Edited July 14, 2014 by SuzyLee

[zenme]

The daggers that Christine shot Robyn when she was mocking her about staring into her eyes while she ate...ouch! That was actually quite funny, I had to rewind a couple of times to make sure I read that look right.  It's actually funny.  It's the closest thing we've gotten of one of the wives telling Robyn off. 

 

Who the fuck does Robyn think she is?  She was rude the entire visit to the Richards.  I feel that she doesn't agree with the reasons why the Richards have chosen to live their lifestyle, but many many do not agree with hers either.   Robyn really does think her shit don't stink.  Also, I agree that the Richards family must edit their story, but I appreciated that Christine, Meri, and Kody made a great attempt to listen...Janelle struggled, but failed, and I think Robyn showed zero manners.  Not even an attempt. 

 

Also, I think that Kody and the Browns really feel a religious calling to be polygamists.  I think the Richards trio are just weird and the husband has some self-esteem issues, and uses the wives and family to make him feel better about himself.

[crgirl412]

I found this Christian Polygamy defense page and it's quite eye opening.  I've been a Bible-believing Christian- who actually reads the Bible- for almost 20 years and this has me thinking.  Granted, I didn't look up every Scripture that he mentioned and think that some are a big stretch to support polygamy but some are very convincing. 

 

http://www.ecclesia.org/truth/polygamy.html

Edited July 14, 2014 by crgirl412

[VioletNevermind]

Who the fuck does Robyn think she is?  She was rude the entire visit to the Richards.  I feel that she doesn't agree with the reasons why the Richards have chosen to live their lifestyle, but many many do not agree with hers either.   Robyn really does think her shit don't stink.  

 

Wait until Miss Skinny Wife gets knocked off her pedestal by the next wife *ahem* victim *ahem* Kody drags onto this sinking ship.  She won't feel quite so entitled then.

[suomi]

I found this Christian Polygamy defense page and it's quite eye opening.  I've been a Bible-believing Christian- who actually reads the Bible- for almost 20 years and this has me thinking.  Granted, I didn't look up every Scripture that he mentioned and think that some are a big stretch to support polygamy but some are very convincing. 

 

http://www.ecclesia.org/truth/polygamy.html

 

I wonder what they would think about this letter, which cracks me up every time I read it: 

 

http://www.whitehorseinn.org/blog/2011/09/27/%E2%80%9Cwhy-can%E2%80%99t-i-own-canadians%E2%80%9D-rightly-dividing-the-word-of-truth/

 

this comment is my favorite

 

As a dual national of the US and Canada, I easily understand why an American would desire to own a Canadian. The quality of our intellect, work ethic, and civility to name just a few. Dollar for dollar, I can see why Canadians are such a great value. However, as a Canadian I can not help but think the author of the open letter got it backwards. Due to the relative values of the two currencies, and the fact that the average Canadian is now richer than the average American, the real question is where can Canadians buy American slaves? I believe this is an effective strategy for growing the US economy and increasing net US exports, which the US badly needs right now.

[goldensglitter]

Husband strikes me as a bible thumping horn dog, plain and simple.  Actually I thought he made Kody look good, and that is saying something.  This families kids are adorable.  Wife #1 is very attractive, imo.  Now that they are public, I just know the good ole state of Missouri is going to roll out the red carpet.  Ugh, just need another wife while wife #1 is making cookies.  Babymaker v. Housekeeper, ridiculous.

 

[LilWharveyGal]

 

I can't even find one husband!!!  Sheesh!!

 

I'm right there with ya, though watching this circus makes me way more appreciative of the single life.

 

I flat out cackled when that kid got clotheslined playing Red Rover.  I'm horrible.

[DakotaJustice]

I thought that maybe the wives share a bedroom and Captain Von Trapp has his own room. The wives then take turns visiting The Captain on their night. I've heard of Biblical pligs having that arrangement.

 

I just don't understand how these guys can convince a woman that their marriage, that has started out as monogamous and already has several children in it, needs to become polygamous. Capt VT Richards has the charisma of a wet noodle; I have no idea how he got his wife to follow his wet dream into a plig marriage.

THIS SERIOUSLY CRACKED MY SHIT UP!  I could barely watch this ep (I'm on the West Coast) because the commentary here and at other blogs was so much more interesting and entertaining.

[SometimesBites]

Christine can straight up BITE ME. Enough with the snotty monogamous-bashing, bitch.

 

I don't even want to contemplate the pain that the original Mrs. Richard/Von Trapp went through while that mealy-mouthed little weasel she's married to wore her down on bringing a new vagina into the house. It's worked out pretty well, considering: she is more attractive than the second wife, and is the only one able to have children, so there's a certain status she gets to hold onto. Until he gets the hots---I mean, gets a revelation--concerning wife #3. Then all bets are off.

 

Robyn has tweeted that the Richard/Von Trapp synchronized eating is "deep." Um, I think she means, silly, superfluous, and overly-thought-out.

 

You have to get up PRETTY early in the morning to put one over on Kody. From Twitter:

"@realkodybrown Oh WOW! Rebecca is wearing earnings from How fun...."  No shit, Sherlock. All the wives in both families were dripping with MSWC craptasm. If I'd never been to their website I would have been thinking, "Wow, these women all have the worst taste in jewelry I've ever seen in my life."

THIS SERIOUSLY CRACKED MY SHIT UP!  I could barely watch this ep (I'm on the West Coast) because the commentary here and at other blogs was so much more interesting and entertaining.

I literally picked up my remote TWICE to hit fast forward...and I don't have TIVO! I was just so excruciatingly bored, my hand was trying to save my brain.

[Jodio]

Christine can straight up BITE ME. Enough with the snotty monogamous-bashing, bitch.

 

I laughed my ass of when she (or possibly Robyn) was saying that monogamists don't have as much fun as polygamists in a voice-over while they were playing Red Rover. Apparently Red  Rover is the key to an exciting life and only available to polygamists. Red Fucking Rover.

[suomi]

I am so indebted to the poster who recently described one of Kody's frequent facial expressions as "someone trying to do long division in their head." Lots of that tonight, LOL. I loved how he was dumbfounded re a communal bedroom; he just couldn't fathom that, and he came across as more than a little bit judgmental as well. My, my, my. Welcome to our world, Kody. We've been dumbfounded by you and your tribe for years.

[EtheltoTillie]

Well, the SW jewelry finally found its target demographic.

 

 

Didn't hubby give some kind of will you marry me item to wife 2?  MSWC could design special sister-wife proposal jewelry.

[RealityCowgirl]

Christine can straight up BITE ME. Enough with the snotty monogamous-bashing, bitch.

Hey, Christine -

 

While you were rubbing your little hands together (tripping over kids you apparently can't handle on your own), gleefully awaiting yet another lame chance to show how "awesome" your life is:

 

• My husband and I rolled out of our bed (where we both sleep, every night - unless we're traveling  to somewhere far more exciting than Springfield, MO), in our nearly paid-for home
• Filled the tank of our sporty, new (and nearly paid-for) car and headed out of town for
• A lovely, leisurely brunch at a regional hot spot, after which
• We enjoyed a bit of shopping, where we PAID CASH for nothing lavish, just a few things to make life a little nicer, including
• A couple of treats for our one furry child (because he's a good and, yes, pampered boy) and
• A couple of new workout items I'll be wearing during physical therapy following
• The surgery that my employer-paid insurance generously funds.
• We returned to our spacious (more bathrooms than people!) home, kicked up our feet, and enjoyed the evening, not worried for the future because
• We had already automatically contributed to our savings, investments and retirement accounts this month.

 

You can have Red Rover. I'll keep monogamy. Bitch.

Edited July 14, 2014 by RealityCowgirl

[poeticlicensed]

I am always astounded by the amount of food it takes to feed that brood. Put two broods together and holy crap. I saw tow boxes of bags of chips that one buys at a warehouse club. They usually contain 30-40 bags per box. That lasts us over a month, closer to 2 months with one kid. They had two boxes just for lunch!

 

That Richards family was straight up weird. Loved the one mom's story about dad sitting on the couch wishing he had a wife to cuddle with. If he moved his ass off the couch to help she could finish faster and go snuggle. If what bizarro world do you say, hey, let's bring in another wife! And message to Captain Von Trapp, people have been using the bible for thousands of years to justify everything and anything, including war and genocide. So STFU. I also have no doubt the three of them share a bed. So gross. 

 

In the couch sits, Kody looked like he had a big gut. Also, I want to go tell Janelle that the a lot weight is gone so she no longer has to sit with her legs so far apart. Please practice keeping your legs together. It just looks bad.

[Granny58]

Her husband can't entertain himself on the couch for a half hour while she makes cookies (probably for him)?  Once again, a major life/marriage choice that solely benefits the man.

 

THIS!  What a lame ass reason for polygamy!!!  And the poster who stated he wore her down, I can just imagine that....every damn day..."honey, did you read the passage yet?"  OF COURSE she finds support of it on polygamy websites!  Now try monogamy websites and see what it says.  I agree that Kody really came off better in this ep than the other dork.  Who would marry him in the first place is beyond me....zilch charisma.  Christine's evil stare-down of Robyn was golden!!!  But her comments about people are like animals (specifically chickens in this instance) was EMBARASSING!.  From a religious perspective, people are created above animals and are to act as such.  I used to really like her, but Meri is coming of better this season.  Oh and thank you Meri for admitting that jealousy is part of the lifesty

[ghoulina]

Kody was on fire with his lack of self awareness and general douchetasticness last night. First he made that poor little boy cry by singling him out and talking about girls. Then he gets all bragadocious about the blessings he can say in Hebrew. And to top it off, he only learned them because he thought it sounded "fun" - not to expand his mind or because it had a personal meaning to him or anything. 

 

I thought this other family was a bit weird, like they were trying too hard. They want to be the modern day VonTrapps, with an extra wife. And that thing where everyone takes their first bite together? Just weird. But hey, whatever works for you. I did feel sad for the second wife who has yet to conceive for the family. That would be hard enough in a regular relationship, but downright miserable in a polygamous one. 

 

It's nice to see that Hunter is basically the new Logan. He is so involved with the younger ones and very kind to them. I would not have expected that a few years ago. 

 

Jenelle, please take Meri jeans shopping. That is all. 

And if I hear one more time that monogamous people don't have as much fun as plygs...

 

Christine said something about how they're more fun because there's more of them. As if plygs have a monopoly on big families. Have they seen the Duggars? I know a family that has 9 kids - and just two parents. They have plenty of fun without sharing a dick. 

 

 

 

I actually have no problems with polygamy as long as all participants are consenting adults. Not for me, but if that's how you want to live - go for it. But when you keep slamming how OTHERS have chosen to live, it makes me want to slam you back. 

[tabloidlover]

This is one of the most frustrating parts for me as well.  They are adamant that we accept them as polygamists, yet they feel free to bag on the rest of us for our choices?  Monogamy seems to be their biggest target, yet the majority of Americans ARE monogamist.  If we are to accept you and your lifestyle choices, then common sense would dictate that you would demonstrate the same, yes?  Way to alienate your audience, dumbasses.  Christine is the absolute worst about it, I swear she slams monogamy every single episode.  Sounds like she needs to convince herself.

[Madding crowd]

Kody sounded like a little kid the way he kept yelling "fantastic caverns" over and over. I'm a Christian yet hate people who use the bible to justify a guys need to fool around on his wife.

These polyg guys are always unattractive, have a God complex, and use extra wives to cover up big insecurities in my opinion.

Having to eat at the same time, line up military style and probably sharing the same bed makes these people creepy.

And Christine nothing you do makes me envious of your lifestyle. My boring monogamous life includes a paid for house, two spouses who want to work, no bankruptcies, one great child and zero jealously over my husband spending time with another woman. Of course we don't play red rover, so you got that over me.

[camom]

 

Jenelle, please take Meri jeans shopping. That is all.

Or just give her a pair that are too big for you now.

 

I would love to know if Kody's Hebrew blessing was said correctly.  Somehow, I think he was likely to screw it up in some way.

[WerWerWer]

I would love to know if Kody's Hebrew blessing was said correctly.  Somehow, I think he was likely to screw it up in some way.

It was not, and yes, he did.

 

I don't remember exactly  which blessing he was trying to say, but I think it was the second one on this page (hamotzi lechem min ha'aretz).  

 

http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/278538/jewish/Basic-Blessings-on-Food-Guide.htm

 

He had already screwed up by the time he got to "adonay," however, so I was too busy snorting to pay close attention to the rest.

Edited July 14, 2014 by WerWerWer

[wrestlesflamingos]

There was such much mugging this episode that I turned it off.

[Leigh3]

Anyone else notice how tuned out Robyn appears this season or is it just me? Unless she is talking about the jewelry crap she zones out, especially while they are on the couch. I think she definitely gives off a "I don't give a crap" attitude. She all but yawns. During this episode she was playing with her necklace and I think she was checking her phone. Maybe she was looking for received orders for MSWC. After all the bashing she got for dominating the reunion last season she may never speak again. 

[ShaNaeNae]

Anyone else notice how tuned out Robyn appears this season or is it just me?

 

I've totally noticed this! The only time she does talk is one of her loud or obnoxious one-liners or to stand up for Meri.  Wonder what her issue is?

[crgirl412]

Yeah, Robyn doesn't look shiny or happy anymore.  I think Meri is on too high of a dose of whatever med she's on to deal with her empty nest.  She just sits there and barely says anything.  I think that Christine and Janelle are doing are the best emotionally and mentally at this point and time. 

[Diane]

I didn't think it was possible for but the Richard's actually made the Browns look good. 

[Ladystardust]

Christine also seems to think that lots of people = fun. I'm an introvert and just thinking of living with that many people makes me want to crawl up into a ball and hide in the corner. I would be absolutely miserable in a large family. She should also maybe consider that a few of their kids are probably introverts as well and may not always enjoy being herded around in a family as large as an elementary school class and may not consider these huge outings so much "fun". 

[kassa]

I don't really think they're biblical polygamists.  I think they're non-monogamous types but are from a background where it would never be accepted openly by their ultra=religious families.  So they went one step further and out-religoused their religious families by claiming biblical justification. (Note: I'm not saying there aren't genuine biblical polygamists out there, but I definitely got a swinging vibe from the wife and husband, so...)

 

Oddly, the Browns have been infuriated in the past by any implication that polygamy = threesomes (or foursomes) and what a disgusting assumption that is.  Yet here were these people basically saying "lots of biblical plural marriage folks share a bedroom..." over and over again, which to me implied "all together now!" and the Browns didn't blink an eye.  Maybe in addition to embracing homosexuality because of the legal issues surrounding marriage equality they're moving on to embracing everything else.  I do not believe they were simply talking about the wives sharing a bedroom and swapping out with the guy.  They discussed the whole "marriage bed" thing.  The Richards seemed to be implying that a single "marriage bed" was just fiiine, if that was what the parties involved wanted.  

 

The Richards were totally gunning for a spinoff.-- Polygamy on the Farm!  I think the kids were first introduced to that lining up thing the day before, because Dad thought it would make a good visual, not that it's something they do.  The kids certainly didn't seem to understand what they were supposed to do.  

 

To me, the eating while staring into each other's eyes sounds like newlywed foreplay between the first husband/wife and they had to work the new gal in there eventually.  And I give the Browns credit for seeing through their trying to bullshit a religious justification for it.  

 

The dark haired girl was lovely and sweet, and I'm sorry that kids give her a hard time.  I expect it will get worse, though.

 

I haven't played Red Rover in 40 years but that brought back actual muscle memory of both hitting the line and trying to hold the line.  Ow and Ow.  

Edited July 14, 2014 by kassa