S09.E06: Real Life and Real Wife

[seacliffsal]

Some posters mentioned a flag which I did not notice while watching (probably because my eyes were rolling to the back of my head most of the time...).  Would someone identify what flag it is that I missed and others saw (and I promise that when reading and poster on this site I don't roll my eyes...just when watching the show).

[sarkygal]

2 days and a rewatch later, I’m still stuck on why Iris brought what appears to be her wedding dress to the new apartment. Iris and her 3rd person shenanigans go lower in my estimation each episode. And I suspect the crown royal bag had the lube to accompany the magnum condoms. 

I’d get married at first sight to Greg’s house. If Deonna had spent the last 10 years dating, she’d quickly realize most she’s one of the select few the experts did not screw over in their matching. On paper, Greg seems to have his life together. 

Oh Amber. Bless your abandoned little heart. Matt will not be sticking around.

Jamie, when the gloss of new freaky naked time wears off, you will be completely infuriated by Elizabeth. 

[gonecrackers]

5 hours ago, princelina said:

Actually, she said, "Iris is going to use liners in Iris' drawers.  That's what made me want to give her a slap. 😄 

Iris after sex:

”IriswasavirginbutIrisjusthadsexwithHUSBANDsoIriswilltellALLthepeople!”

[Jack Sampson]

13 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

He needs to date Deonna...flowers, romantic dinners, gift her with a shot glass from Antigua, fun spontaneous activities, host get togethers for the couples' friends, avoid sounding insincere with the copious compliments...

Deonna missed dating in her 20s and need to do the fun things singleton couples do...

She needs to date him.  Make him dinner, plan a fun day doing something he'd want to do, be sexual, even if you don't have sex with him, let him know you still have sexual energy.

After the show, Greg will find other women.  Deonna, unless she starts showing a fun side, will have serious problems.

Deonna missed out on dating for a reason and it's looking like it's not just her choice.  She's not a fun woman and she's not attractive enough to offset the personality.  This could be her last chance with a guy as great as Greg and she's blowing it.

Edited July 20, 2019 by Jack Sampson

[Mazzy]

Eew... I'm just catching up/just starting binging this season until I catch up. I am simultaneously reading your comments while watching the episode and I just got to creepy-dad! WOW!!! That was crazy. If I were that guy I would just be like 'dude I don't even know what to say to the words you are speaking right now'.

I'm also starting to get some red flags about Amber and her man. Amber is really intense. She honestly reminds me of a friend who is also very clingy to her men. And that works just fine if you have a partner that is into that, but I feel like it is going to be too intense for Matt and I can't blame him for not being into it. Also she reminds me of a child for some reason. I don't know if it's the way she acts or her mannerisms ~shrug~ It's just not very attractive IMO.

Edited July 20, 2019 by Mazzy

[talktoomuch]

8 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

be sexual, even if you don't have sex with him, let him know you still have sexual energy

This is the biggest challenge for both Deonna and Iris. You don't have to be having sex with someone to display your sexual energy. They have zero sexual vibe. And I get it. When you're minimal/celibate/virginal for a long time, you tend to turn off certain signals so as not to receive certain feedback. But as Dr. Cal indicated to Deonna (and not Iris too for some reason) you can behave your way into sexual energy. Those little physical steps like hand holding and kissing start to awaken certain things and next thing you know....

10 hours ago, sarkygal said:

Oh Amber. Bless your abandoned little heart. Matt will not be sticking around.

Jamie, when the gloss of new freaky naked time wears off, you will be completely infuriated by Elizabeth. 

I truly believe production purposefully picked these horrible pairings for the drama factor. There is no way a real expert matched a woman with major abandonment issues with a man who doesn't know how to settle down and is leery of marriage in general. Or an intensely ordered and controlled man who struggles to show emotions with an over the top drama queen who doesn't even try to rein in hers.

[Empress1]

10 hours ago, Mazzy said:

Also she reminds me of a child for some reason. I don't know if it's the way she acts or her mannerisms ~shrug~ It's just not very attractive IMO.

I agree, Amber seems childlike to me too. I wonder how she is as a teacher?

[humbleopinion]

 Amber looks like a Lilliputian every time she stands besides Gulliver Matt...

 The cadence of her speech is that of a middle schooler....she has taken on the vernacular of her young students...her eye blink, the movement of her hands, her slouching posture at the dinner table...

Her wardrobe looks like she shops at the same stores as her students....

Her students wear more makeup and take more time with their hair than she does.

Her immature PDA at the reception....even Matt was embarrassed at her pushiness and  annoying expressing wanting to "make out"...pawing at him...

Am sure she has a loose leaf notebook paper page  of her practicing writing

Mrs. Matt Gywnne IV, Mrs. Amber Gywnne, Amber and Matt Gywnne

Being an English teacher in middle school means she's fits in size wise with at least some of her pre pubescent students before they have their growth spurts....

High schoolers would tower over her....

[Retired at last]

LOL - thanks @Ohwell. I meant Keith and I changed my original post!!!!

[Retired at last]

@talktoomuch, I think Pastor Cal didn't talk to Iris and Keith the same way he spoke with Deonna is that Iris is more comfortable being physical with Keith. They kiss, hold hands, she sits very close to him, etc. so I am guessing they do "stuff" that I don't see between Deonna and Greg. I don't know if they have even held hands.

[Elizzikra]

There's already a waiting list.

[talktoomuch]

2 hours ago, Retired at last said:

@talktoomuch, I think Pastor Cal didn't talk to Iris and Keith the same way he spoke with Deonna is that Iris is more comfortable being physical with Keith. They kiss, hold hands, she sits very close to him, etc. so I am guessing they do "stuff" that I don't see between Deonna and Greg. I don't know if they have even held hands.

Good point @Retired at last. Iris is more physically interactive with Keith. It's her awkward goofiness and discomfort with discussing sex that is so anti-sexual. Since she's admittedly had sexual contact before, it comes across as disingenuous. 

[Rae Spellman]

On 7/19/2019 at 5:44 AM, RealityDiva said:

Greg is by far my favorite!  He's definitely seems like he's ready to settle down. I do wonder how many women would want to live and have a family in a house that's already furnitured, every room has probably been " christened. " Could Greg possibly still have control issues if he thinks his wife wouldn't want to buy a house together?

Greg is my favorite, too. But, I'm guessing he's not as good as he appears and Deonna isn't as bad. After all, he's on this show. His church seems pretty big. Do they have a single's ministry? Why hasn't he found a woman there?  Also over the last 6 years he spent 4 years in a toxic relationship and 2 years single. Is that really that much better than 10 years single? Maybe if he had therapy during those two years and Deonna hasn't talked about whatever was holding her back in therapy. Then again, maybe they will work out. Or, maybe Deonna with watch the show, go to therapy and get ready for the next guy after Greg. She actually does have moments of self-reflection.

[talktoomuch]

I think Greg and Deonna have a good shot at making it. She's a little bossy, but he has the right sort of attitude and sense of humor to both deal with it and balance it. And Deonna appears to be open to self-improvement.

They have a lot in common professionally and religiously. They both have stated they are happy and comfortable with the way things are progressing. Deonna was SOLD when she saw his house. And if they even get to some light petting and dry humping in the next 6 1/2 weeks, Greg will be SOLD too.

[configdotsys]

Part of me thinks that Greg may have come on the show to blast to the world that he's available, is well off, educated, owns a business, has a gorgeous house, etc. I would bet Greg's math center is likely getting a lot of mail from women all over. 

[gonecrackers]

40 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

Part of me thinks that Greg may have come on the show to blast to the world that he's available, is well off, educated, owns a business, has a gorgeous house, etc. I would bet Greg's math center is likely getting a lot of mail from women all over. 

Naaaah... no one who applies for this show ever has ulterior motives. 🤣

[watchingtvaddict]

Amber being offended about Matt wanting to have his own bathroom is mind boggling to me. Tall people and short people sharing a bathroom is a pain you are always adjusting things because the shower needs to be at a different angle for both people and I'm sure other things will be placed in inconvenient spots for one of the partners. Matt might be pulling away and an asshole but his desire for separate bathrooms is 100% logical. 

[DrewPaul2010]

Matt does appear to be a go with the flow kind of guy and I'm sure he is blinded by the sex but at some point even that isn't going to be enough. Watch for the blank stare in his face in the near future. 

Boring season so far...

[ladyscorpio]

I watched this episode late so that's why I'm commenting now. I think the experts should've picked somebody way better for Matt. I couldn't believe that Amber would do a video for Matt at the gym when she's all sweaty, no makeup, no hair done and she has the nerve to say he's getting "all this" an moves her hand up and down her body like she's some beauty queen and gorgeous. She is soooo annoying and clingy. She seriously acts desperate, like she's never been around a man before. I know Matt is going to get sick of her always begging him to make out or kiss her. She does act like she's in middle school. She is so plain looking and mousy. There is absolutely nothing that is attractive about her. I think he got the short end of the stick.  They should've picked someone that was pretty and doesn't look like a 12 year old boy. She is totally scaring him off when she keeps saying their going to have Matt the 4th or whatever number it was. I was surprised she was acting so desperate at the wedding and reception being that she is a middle school teacher and knows her students can be watching. She acts like she has no class at all. She is going to stalk Matt to where he will have to get a restraining order against her once he bails. You can totally see it in his eyes an face.  He is not into her like she is to him. He should get a do over with someone in his league at least. Deonna bugs me too. It's annoying when she keeps changing her voice to sound all gruff like Tone- Loc an she pushes her chin all the way in. That wedding dress did not flatter her at all. The back looked horrible.  Her makeup looked horrible too. I don't think she is attractive at all either. It bugs me how she treats Greg like she's too good for him an like she's doing him a favor by allowing him to be in her presence.  She has no reason to be conceited or arrogant.  I can totally see why her sister said she's never seen her with a guy or having a boyfriend or kissing a guy. I don't like her attitude. And she's not even pretty to be acting like that. I like Keith, I think he's a cutie. He was brought up good and he has alot of respect for Iris. He seems like he would make a good husband. Iris has a pretty face. She doesn't annoy me like the other two do. Elizabeth's father is sooo creepy. When he said he couldn't look at them dancing and it made him furious. That was weird. I had to rewind the part where he said what if he has a small penis right before he walks her down the aisle. I cannot believe he said that to his daughter!! Why the hell would he be thinking about that in the first place??? I thought it was kinda tacky that he holds up a bill of hers that's past due and shows everyone when he's doing his speech.  Her mom doesn't seem that close to her like he is. It's weird how her dad was acting like he was jealous of Jamie dancing with her or even touching her. That's not how a father should act about his daughter. Greg does have a nice house. I don't understand why it would bug Deonna when he compliments her. Why the hell would she not want compliments?? I don't see them staying married.  She acts like she's not into him at all. I don't know if any of them will stay married. It's too soon to tell.

[Yeah No]

On 7/17/2019 at 9:37 PM, Empress1 said:

YES. Out of the glass? Out of the glass that humans drink out of? No ma'am. I think Jamie said "we'll throw that away" as the dog was drinking out of the glass, and I am with him 100%.

I find it interesting that some people get grossed out about this but think it's OK to have pets get in bed with them.  Or lick their face.  All to me are gross and I love dogs!

On 7/17/2019 at 9:46 PM, gonecrackers said:

I'm also good with separate bathrooms for a better life.

Yeah, I don't know what the obsession is with young people and the supposed necessity of sharing a bath with their spouse.  Is it based on some rom-com fantasy they got fixated on as a sign of whether they're truly in a romantic relationship with someone?  Because as any older, already married person can tell them, the "romance" and novelty wear off real fast.

What was even worse was Amber's accusatory attitude about it.  She's only going to push Matt further away by accusing him of acting like her "roommate" instead of her spouse.  This woman really has a self-defeat/destruct button!

On 7/17/2019 at 9:42 PM, ECM1231 said:

Oy Iris is a fuss budget!

In her own way she's almost as quirky as Elizabeth.  Almost.

As the episodes progress she looks more and more 80s to me.  Almost like a caricature of the 80s.  Frumpy church lady 80s.  Some of what she wears says "stay away, I'm not a sexual being".

And if she is so hung up on Keith's sexual past maybe she should have told the experts she wanted a virgin or someone with very little past.  Otherwise, what was she expecting?

[Yeah No]

On 7/18/2019 at 12:09 AM, topanga said:

This was another bad week for Matt and Amber. And their talk with Pastor Cal did nothing to help them. Maybe it was the editing, but Pastor Cal kept cutting off Amber when she tried to talk. She said they’d been intimate physically, and she kept trying to add a ‘but the emotional intimacy isn’t there yet,’ but he wouldn’t let her speak. He kept steering the conversation where he wanted it to go. That’s a bad therapist.  

I agree but he's not a therapist.  It's questionable as to whether he's really a pastor too.

On 7/18/2019 at 12:09 AM, topanga said:

And Matt was dishonest with Amber and Pastor Cal about his feelings. No, he’s never going to fall in love with Amber. No, he doesn’t feel the same about her as she does about him. No, he isn’t comfortable with her financially supporting him. I don’t know if it’s his shyness or his introversion, but he kept giving these pat answers and saying everything he thought people wanted him to say. And no one seemed to pick up on that: not Jamie O or Pastor Cal, and certainly not Amber. 

I know, I was thinking the same thing.  Matt was lying, plain and simple.  One reason I don't like him.  It's one thing to be shy and not to want to reveal yourself and quite another thing to lead someone on and misrepresent your real feelings in a romantic relationship.

On 7/18/2019 at 12:18 AM, topanga said:

But to be fair, Amber thought she was going to be matched with someone who as into the process as she is. And Matt isn’t. He is not that someone. 

She's so desperate and needy, she'd make any guy run the other way and not look like he's into the process.  That said, I agree that Matt was not a good candidate for this show OR for a match for Amber.  You don't match a guy with no real roots with a woman that wants a dependable rock of Gibraltar.  He already has his foot half out the door at best.

On 7/18/2019 at 5:51 AM, humbleopinion said:

All of Amber’s clothes are so ugly and inappropriate for a 30 year old (the Capt. American tank top was the final straw) that she needs to throw them away and go shopping with Deonna and Iris, both who have a better grip on how to dress attractively.....

I know, Amber is like a perfect candidate for the old "What not to Wear" show.  But I think all of the women this season except for Deonna would qualify.  Anyone who watched that show for several seasons would remember the women with clothing issues just like theirs.  One dresses like an old church lady from the 80s, while another one dresses like a high school sophomore/lady jock.  And Elizabeth just needs to know how to dress for her very straight figure and how to show skin without grossing everyone out.  Like that awful bathing suit from the back, ugh.  I can just see all their clothes being tossed into the trash can, LOL.  Now Iris has worn some pretty outfits, but lately the old lady stuff seems to be predominant.

Elizabeth is a pig, but one with surprisingly fastidious if inconsistent obsessions.  Like once she said she thought wearing shoes indoors was gross.  Then you see her sleeping with her dogs, LOL.  She also seems to have a shower obsession, which is what started that first misunderstanding on the honeymoon.  She just HAD to go back to the room to shower her sandy vaj and lost all sense of time and place until she did it, LOL.

[Yeah No]

On 7/18/2019 at 10:12 AM, LuvMyShows said:

OK so maybe I'm the only one, but I can def relate to Deonna with this.  Too many compliments would come off to me as insincere and too needy.  I think Pastor Cal was very wrong in his reaction, especially to compare to what "a lot of other women would want".  There's a reason that the Bell Curve exists, and I bet he would be quite salty if there was something that he didn't want, and some know-it-all came and told him about what "a lot of other men would want", so he should be fine with it.

After a while the compliments would wear on me too and I also would wonder about their sincerity.  It might also make me feel like the guy is a little too polite and awkward around women and unable to express himself other than to constantly spew out compliments.  I'd also feel like he was putting too many expectations on me in terms of a response to all that.  Like if I felt obligated to say, "Why, thank you" every time it might send him a message I wasn't ready to send.

That said, it would depend on how many times he did it and how long he did it.  Given that they only knew each other a few days I think she should have let that slide a bit at least until the honeymoon was over and then if it still continued to address it.  As it was, I think she ruined the moment by making a big issue of it so soon.  Greg is a great guy and she should think about the big picture with him.  Let those things slide if the guy is great, you can put up with it, it's obviously well-intended.

On 7/18/2019 at 10:40 AM, suzeecat said:

There's something about Jamie's looks that reminds me of Jerry Seinfeld.  He's been incredibly easy going - so far. 

Yep, I was the first person to say that in the second episode threat and lots of people agreed.  Glad to know it wasn't just me who saw that, LOL.

On 7/18/2019 at 10:47 AM, Gurkel said:

The problem is, I don't think that's what this show does. The producers match up couples that have a few of the characteristics that the other likes. But their matches are total opposites in other areas, which they'll hope will make for great TV.  

Yup, you pretty much hit that nail squarely on its head!  I loved your whole post, great introverted minds think alike! 😎

On 7/18/2019 at 11:51 AM, gonecrackers said:

 If I were Greg or Deonna I'd be pissed about being stuffed in that apartment for 7 weeks with that lovely home not far away. Maybe they will stay in it when not filming - I know I would.

I know, I don't get why the show insisted they live in "neutral" territory even if they didn't want to or need to.  Even though Danielle didn't love Bobby's house it was obvious that their living there helped to move them closer together.  I fear that Deonna not seeing Greg in his natural habitat won't help her see him as a real husband or her in a relationship with that real husband.  In their case I think not being in that beautiful house was a BIG mistake on the part of the show.

On 7/18/2019 at 1:56 PM, Gem 10 said:

Someone once told me a dogs mouth is cleaner than a humans.  Could that be?  People I know kiss their pets on the mouth and let them lick their faces, and both are healthy.

I recently read that that's a myth and that you can actually get pretty sick from letting a dog lick you on the mouth!

On 7/18/2019 at 2:44 PM, Empress1 said:

Girl he has two ovens. The meals I could make in that kitchen ...

I know, I'm a cook too and I would love that kitchen!

[Yeah No]

On 7/18/2019 at 3:06 PM, topanga said:

Then clean up your grammar, brother. "We was..." and "You was..." Greg does seem like a smart guy, but grammar lapses like those make me scream. It's like nails on a chalk board. 

I know, I feel the same way.  It amazes me how many educated people today can exhibit bad grammar and usage.  And BTW, thank you for knowing that it's "fazed" and not "phased" - that's a big pet peeve of mine!

I don't know whether Greg uses better grammar when at work but in my experience most of the educated people I've known to exhibit bad grammar did it at work, so there is that.

On 7/19/2019 at 9:18 PM, seacliffsal said:

Some posters mentioned a flag which I did not notice while watching (probably because my eyes were rolling to the back of my head most of the time...).  Would someone identify what flag it is that I missed and others saw (and I promise that when reading and poster on this site I don't roll my eyes...just when watching the show).

I didn't notice a flag either and would like to know what that was about too.

[Liberty]

4 hours ago, ladyscorpio said:

I don't understand why it would bug Deonna when he compliments her.,,,  She acts like she's not into him at all.

Is it a way of maintaining a distance from the relationship?  Not just distance from Greg, but also distance from the relationship.

Also thinking the "neutral" site apartment concept is more about advertising and product placement for the apartment company than for the experiment's integrity.

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, Liberty said:

Is it a way of maintaining a distance from the relationship?  Not just distance from Greg, but also distance from the relationship.

Yes, she thinks he's moving in too fast for her.  Then again she's not comfortable with any movement at all.  It's almost like he's presuming that compliments will get him everywhere and she's reacting by saying, "Not so fast, bud, I'm not sure about you yet!"  Like Amber with Matt, he's actually only pushing her further away with that.  I don't agree with Cal's approach.  WTF does he know anyway?  Any good, real relationship counselor would get to the root of why Greg needs to shower her all the time with compliments and make him understand why it makes her so uncomfortable.  But noooo, of course he makes it HER fault.  😏

4 hours ago, Liberty said:

Also thinking the "neutral" site apartment concept is more about advertising and product placement for the apartment company than for the experiment's integrity.

Also because they must have negotiated them on the cheap with a volume discount.  Those apartments look almost like extended-stay hotel suites to me, or what I used to call "corporate apartments".  Obviously they were rented on a short-term basis.

[humbleopinion]

Cliched reasons Matt will give on Decision Day to divorce Amber...

We don't see eye to eye...

I am head and shoulders above her...

We were on two different planes...

The marriage was a bad fit...

We should divorce... that's the long and short of it...

[Jeanne222]

On the wedding day I liked the matches.  Moving forward it's falling apart!

I'm still so curious about Matt's family.  I wonder if we'll hear more or see any of them.  

[Empress1]

9 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I find it interesting that some people get grossed out about this but think it's OK to have pets get in bed with them.  Or lick their face.  All to me are gross and I love dogs!

I don't have pets; if I did I would not share beds with them or have them lick my face.

1 minute ago, Jeanne222 said:

I'm still so curious about Matt's family.  I wonder if we'll hear more or see any of them. 

Me too. Probably won't see them together since there are apparently restraining orders in place.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

She also seems to have a shower obsession, which is what started that first misunderstanding on the honeymoon.  She just HAD to go back to the room to shower her sandy vaj and lost all sense of time and place until she did it, LOL.

I'm not particularly fastidious (I don't think) but I understood where Elizabeth was coming from on that. I'm fair skinned and burn easily, like Elizabeth. When I go out in the sun, I'm sticky and greasy with sunscreen (no matter what "non-greasy" brand I try). Add a layer of sweat, a little salt water if you go in the ocean and then some sand and... ick. I can't wait to wash that mess off.

Quote

I don't have pets; if I did I would not share beds with them or have them lick my face.

Famous last words... I always said that. I adopted a yellow lab and she got sick - like emergency vet, I thought she was going to die sick. She recovered and came home. I was in bed and she was sitting next to the bed and looked so pathetic that I said, "o.k. - just this once." That was the end of that. She only begrudgingly gave up her spot in the bed when I got married and if we'd had a bigger bed, she probably would have continued sleeping stretched diagonally across it for the rest of her days. I loved that dog, may she rest in peace.

[gonecrackers]

Maybe Iris' old lady look is her professional clothing?  She seemed to mix it up on the honeymoon; the earrings give off an old vibe though.

Deonna just wanted him to dial it back a bit on the compliments, which the show probably made a 'thing' when it probably was not ever a real problem for them. Regardless, they'll do best engaging in more real, getting to know each other conversations. I really want to see how these two progress.

The couples who move slower make sense to me; even though married they're just getting to know each other. If they can relax & not get uptight about it, as in 'this person isn't jumping me so must not like me' thoughts, they can move forward together.

Elizabeth acts like she's up for anything but maybe she's more of an indoor girl. I suppose her "free spirited sense of adventure in life" ends when she feels grubby. Then she just gets bitchy.

[gonecrackers]

9 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I know, I don't get why the show insisted they live in "neutral" territory even if they didn't want to or need to.  Even though Danielle didn't love Bobby's house it was obvious that their living there helped to move them closer together.  I fear that Deonna not seeing Greg in his natural habitat won't help her see him as a real husband or her in a relationship with that real husband.  In their case I think not being in that beautiful house was a BIG mistake on the part of the show.

It doesn't help with them forming real relationships in real life, but then the show has never been concerned about that.  I will say, though, it's probably safer not to show their homes so much.

Anyone else cringe when these people pack shoes right on top of clothing without putting them in bags... 😣

Edited July 23, 2019 by gonecrackers

[Ilovepie]

3 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I'm not particularly fastidious (I don't think) but I understood where Elizabeth was coming from on that. I'm fair skinned and burn easily, like Elizabeth. When I go out in the sun, I'm sticky and greasy with sunscreen (no matter what "non-greasy" brand I try). Add a layer of sweat, a little salt water if you go in the ocean and then some sand and... ick. I can't wait to wash that mess off.

Famous last words... I always said that. I adopted a yellow lab and she got sick - like emergency vet, I thought she was going to die sick. She recovered and came home. I was in bed and she was sitting next to the bed and looked so pathetic that I said, "o.k. - just this once." That was the end of that. She only begrudgingly gave up her spot in the bed when I got married and if we'd had a bigger bed, she probably would have continued sleeping stretched diagonally across it for the rest of her days. I loved that dog, may she rest in peace.

Famous last words indeed. I always grew up with larger dogs that only laid on the floor, never the furniture. Cut to a few years ago when we got a small shelter dog. He's part Chihuahua. We brought him in the house and he immediately jumped on the couch and curled up. That was that. It just makes sense with little dogs - they are literally lap dogs! He is short haired and mostly stays in the house; frankly, he's probably cleaner than my 10 yo son most of the time! I love him so much as does my husband and kids - he is the love of our lives. We totally spoil him, but he brings us so much joy and love I don't even care. And I am probably waxing poetic over this dog in a way I never have over my kids, but I guess it's just to say that people love their dogs. I'm glad you had one you loved like that. I think the world would be a happier place if everyone could experience a pet they loved that way........

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I'm glad you had one you loved like that. I think the world would be a happier place if everyone could experience a pet they loved that way........

Thank you! My first has passed but I have three now that I adore. In some ways they probably are cleaner than children.

[configdotsys]

12 hours ago, Yeah No said:

  On 7/19/2019 at 9:18 PM, seacliffsal said:

Some posters mentioned a flag which I did not notice while watching (probably because my eyes were rolling to the back of my head most of the time...).  Would someone identify what flag it is that I missed and others saw (and I promise that when reading and poster on this site I don't roll my eyes...just when watching the show).

12 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I didn't notice a flag either and would like to know what that was about too.

It looked to me like a folded up confederate flag on top of his refrigerator.

I don't like Amber and her giggly, 15 year old ways but I have to say that her clothing choices don't bother me at all. Is there a menu of items that a 30 year old woman is not allowed to wear? I think her clothing is looked down on because of personality. I mean, I'm just north of 50 and I live in tee shirts. Regular, short sleeve, pastel color cotton tees are my favorite. I work in IT so I have some IT related comical shirts that I wear on occasion. I'm a casual gal, not sloppy by any means, but I wear what I like and what is comfortable for me. I don't dress to please other people. Of course, events and such require dressier clothing but on the regular, it's comfort. I don't fault Amber for her wardrobe. Maybe growing up she never "learned to be a girl" and is uncomfortable in very feminine clothing. I can definitely relate to that. I guess because I can relate to that aspect of Amber's being, it saddens me to see it put down. I don't know if I can articulate the stress, strain, and torture it would be for me if I was invited to an event that required a gown of some sort. I would find a way to not go. 

[Elizzikra]

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

It looked to me like a folded up confederate flag on top of his refrigerator.

I don't like Amber and her giggly, 15 year old ways but I have to say that her clothing choices don't bother me at all. Is there a menu of items that a 30 year old woman is not allowed to wear? I think her clothing is looked down on because of personality. I mean, I'm just north of 50 and I live in tee shirts. Regular, short sleeve, pastel color cotton tees are my favorite. I work in IT so I have some IT related comical shirts that I wear on occasion. I'm a casual gal, not sloppy by any means, but I wear what I like and what is comfortable for me. I don't dress to please other people. Of course, events and such require dressier clothing but on the regular, it's comfort. I don't fault Amber for her wardrobe. Maybe growing up she never "learned to be a girl" and is uncomfortable in very feminine clothing. I can definitely relate to that. I guess because I can relate to that aspect of Amber's being, it saddens me to see it put down. I don't know if I can articulate the stress, strain, and torture it would be for me if I was invited to an event that required a gown of some sort. I would find a way to not go. 

I thought her clothes were fine for what we have seen so far - the bachelorette party, wedding dress shopping, hanging on the beach in Antigua and moving. It's not like she's gone to work in a tank top and shorts.

As for the no makeup - meh. I used to be a girl who never left the house without a full face on. Now I seldom wear any. I don't think that it means someone doesn't care about her appearance. Matt could be the type of guy who doesn't like much or any makeup on a woman so maybe it doesn't bother him.  Amber's hair seems fine to me too - it's a cute cut and it looks clean and brushed. 

[lu1535]

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

14 hours ago, Yeah No said:

  On 7/19/2019 at 9:18 PM, seacliffsal said:

Some posters mentioned a flag which I did not notice while watching (probably because my eyes were rolling to the back of my head most of the time...).  Would someone identify what flag it is that I missed and others saw (and I promise that when reading and poster on this site I don't roll my eyes...just when watching the show).

14 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I didn't notice a flag either and would like to know what that was about too.

It looked to me like a folded up confederate flag on top of his refrigerator.

To me it looked like some carefully folded reusable grocery bags with a logo. My grocery bags are wadded up in my car but I could see neat freak Jamie folding and storing them perfectly on top of the fridge.

.........but if it is a confederate flag, I don't understand where that would come from with him. Someone upthread said they had seen him on TV before, was it some "the south will rise again" based show?

[Kimboweena]

25 minutes ago, lu1535 said:

.........but if it is a confederate flag,

Thank you for posting that picture.  I'm posting a picture of the confederate flag, if people wish to compare.  To me, what's on top of the fridge does not look like it would be a confederate flag.  It seems to have some kind of circular design on it, which the con flag does not.

[configdotsys]

41 minutes ago, lu1535 said:

To me it looked like some carefully folded reusable grocery bags with a logo. My grocery bags are wadded up in my car but I could see neat freak Jamie folding and storing them perfectly on top of the fridge.

.........but if it is a confederate flag, I don't understand where that would come from with him. Someone upthread said they had seen him on TV before, was it some "the south will rise again" based show?

Your picture makes it look like a folded up shopping bag. I must have had trouble pausing during that scene because I only saw a piece of it. The "I thought I recognized him from TV" comment had me wondering too. Not sure what show that comment referred to.

13 minutes ago, Kimboweena said:

Thank you for posting that picture.  I'm posting a picture of the confederate flag, if people wish to compare.  To me, what's on top of the fridge does not look like it would be a confederate flag.  It seems to have some kind of circular design on it, which the con flag does not.

I said it looked like one from the glimpse that I got of it. The pic above is much clearer than the image I saw. 

[DocTerv]

Am I the only one who starts humming "Every Step You Take" every time they show Amber gazing at Matt?

[Yeah No]

14 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Cliched reasons Matt will give on Decision Day to divorce Amber...

We don't see eye to eye...

I am head and shoulders above her...

We were on two different planes...

The marriage was a bad fit...

We should divorce... that's the long and short of it...

Or.....

I tried to connect with her, but she was just not on my level...

As far as looks go, she came up a little short...

And tended to only like small talk...

And got bogged down in the little things...

Although she did always look up to me...

[humbleopinion]

She said I always talked down to her....

I was accused of being high and mighty.

She dealt out some low blows.

I never got a high five just low fives....which aren't as good...

I was just a sexy ladder to her...she was always asking me to "reach this and wipe the top shelves "...

Edited July 24, 2019 by humbleopinion

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 7/17/2019 at 7:04 PM, Empress1 said:

I went on a date with a guy a couple of months ago and he made a reference to getting up early (very early, like 5) and I said darkly "Oh no, are you a morning person?" I played it off like I was kidding but I was low-key not, because I am not a morning person. If I have to get up before, say, 6:15, I am going to be upset about it. (I get up at 6:30 now.)

I guess everything is relative.  If you told me you get up at 6:30, I'd say, "Oh, so you're a morning person."

.

On 7/17/2019 at 10:33 AM, Elizzikra said:

I guess maybe the producers feel those make for boring conversations but figuring out how to prioritize where you are spending your money is one of the foundational challenges of marriage. Find a way to make it palatable tv, producers!

It would already be palatable TV for me.  Maybe I'm just nosy, but I'm always interested in how people choose to spend their money, and how they resolve conflicts about it.

.

On 7/17/2019 at 8:48 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

According to Google Search, it is not illegal in Australia to marry a stranger. Australians have the freedom to marry whom they want. What is illegal is forced marriage.

Australia's Marriage Act requires that a couple must wait at least one month to marry after giving an authorised celebrant a completed Notice of Intended Marriage form.   It doesn't prohibit marrying a stranger, but it makes it exceedingly impractical if not impossible.

https://www.ag.gov.au/marriageequality

.

On 7/18/2019 at 1:19 AM, Kareem said:

She doesn’t do high-fives. 

I hate high-fives.  And feel bullied and shamed when I decline to do them.  😁

.

On 7/18/2019 at 8:40 AM, suzeecat said:

I don't have a pet, but I understood that Beth saw her dog was thirsty and since there wasn't a pet bowl around, she improvised.  If you rinsed the glass and then put it through a dishwasher cycle, wouldn't that take care of anything left behind? 

Of course it would. 

.

Quote

If someone were to be creeped out about dog germs after the dishwasher, how do they feel about using glasses after someone with contagious germs?  When you eat in restaurants, how do you know where those glasses and plates have been and who (or what) used them last?

Not the plates so much, but glasses and forks and spoons.  When I wrap my lips around one of those in a restaurant, I have to will myself not to think about who else has done the same thing.

.

On 7/19/2019 at 12:54 PM, Ilovepie said:

Thank you. I never understand the people that are so upset at improper grammar when people are casually speaking. I know I say things that are not grammatically correct all the time; it's called slang, or sometimes it's for emphasis. These people aren't reading off a script, and they aren't meeting the queen. I just don't think it's a big deal at all.

It depends.  Coming from a grammar stickler...

Something like "They was" can have a cultural element to it, and I try to take that into account.  Something like "ain't" can be chosen for emphasis.

But something like "John and I's relationship" is nothing but wrong by any measure.

[Gem 10]

On 7/19/2019 at 9:34 PM, sarkygal said:

Jamie, when the gloss of new freaky naked time wears off, you will be completely infuriated by Elizabeth. 

Yep.  Sex is nice, but when you realize your wife is a nut job, sex goes out the window, lol.

[Lily247]

22 hours ago, lu1535 said:

To me it looked like some carefully folded reusable grocery bags with a logo. My grocery bags are wadded up in my car but I could see neat freak Jamie folding and storing them perfectly on top of the fridge.

.........but if it is a confederate flag, I don't understand where that would come from with him. Someone upthread said they had seen him on TV before, was it some "the south will rise again" based show?

It doesnt look like a Confederate flag to me. It could be a sports team flag or something. Jamie doesnt strike me as the type to own a Confederate flag... at all ... and if he did (or anyone on reality tv) he would have either hid it better or made a statement with it. From what I know, having a confederate flag in your home is not exactly some casual decor

[Ilovepie]

50 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

But something like "John and I's relationship" is nothing but wrong by any measure.

Sure it's wrong, but I guess my feeling is who cares? This is the one that drives all of the grammar people nuts, and it's so common, I guess it just doesn't bother me. I don't understand why people complain about it constantly.

[LennieBriscoe]

You're a better man than I, Gunga Din! 😄

[Yeah No]

On 7/23/2019 at 5:32 PM, lu1535 said:

I can't see how this could be a confederate flag.  If you look closely, on either side of the red there is a blue or black background going out to the edges.  If that was a confederate flag there'd be much more red.

14 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Sure it's wrong, but I guess my feeling is who cares? This is the one that drives all of the grammar people nuts, and it's so common, I guess it just doesn't bother me. I don't understand why people complain about it constantly.

I think it comes down to values and perception.  As a "grammar person" I value the English language and believe that how a person uses it says something about a their value system.  Back in the stone ages when I was a kid, my teachers fought hard to get my classes to respect the English language and abide by its rules.  People that in my opinion should know better and either don't know or care about the rules of the language IMO don't respect it, and think their personal values are more important than outside "rules and regulations".  And it's part of my value system to think that the rules of language should be respected because some things are bigger than me and my personal desires.  I'm not one of those "everything is relative" people.  I think some things matter, and this is one of them.  Of course, YMMV.  

[SabineElisabeth]

Elizabeth and Jamie - both obnoxious asses. Go away.

Matt and Amber - Both have serious issues. I was only half paying attention to the matchmaking episode when they were introduced, and they are so ridiculous  as a couple that the first thought that ran through my mind was, "Haha... the producers are punking us with this "couple."  Matt's exclusion of any family from the wedding made me strongly suspect he hasn't been 100 percent invested in this from the outset. And Amber... she needs therapy. A lot of therapy.  She makes me cringe pretty much every time she's on my screen.

Iris and Keith - Nice enough,  snd if Keith really is on the show for self-promotion, he's the best actor in the MAFS franchise to date.

Greg and Deonna - My money's on these two. Really liked them together this week and thought they were both cute when Deonna confessed to "really liking" Greg.  I was not a Jasmine fan at all, but Deonna reminds me nothing of her.  Jasmine was harsh and always bristling, and whereas I find Deonna to be a bit reserved and slow to warm up, she doesn't have any of Jasmine's attitude.

Predictions for Decision Day - Matt and Amber - He will choose to divorce, she'll want to stay married, minimum of of drama other than some pathetic tears from Amber.

Jamie and Elizabeth  - He will choose divorce, Elizabeth will say divorce but will be so unbelievably butt hurt over being rejected she can't see straight. And because she and Jamie are both loud drama queens, this will be a total shit show.

Iris and Keith - Will choose to stay married, may or may not make it long term.

Greg and Deonna - Will be seeing them on MAFS Happily Ever After. (-:

[Ilovepie]

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I think it comes down to values and perception.  As a "grammar person" I value the English language and believe that how a person uses it says something about a their value system.  Back in the stone ages when I was a kid, my teachers fought hard to get my classes to respect the English language and abide by its rules.  People that in my opinion should know better and either don't know or care about the rules of the language IMO don't respect it, and think their personal values are more important than outside "rules and regulations".  And it's part of my value system to think that the rules of language should be respected because some things are bigger than me and my personal desires.  I'm not one of those "everything is relative" people.  I think some things matter, and this is one of them.  Of course, YMMV.  

I understand what you are saying, but I just think it gets old having it come up every. single.season. And I think most of these people, if confronted with a written test, could identify the correct use of "_____ and I" or "Me and  ______". I don't think people are worrying about proper grammar when they speak a lot of the time, and that's why it doesn't bother me. If I was reading something and someone wrote that way, it would bother me too. Anyhoo.........moving on...........

[Happyfatchick]

On 7/18/2019 at 4:23 PM, Ohwell said:

But then, I've heard much worse than what Greg said.  What really gets me is "(fill in name) and I's."  

Over the weekend, someone in our family brought pizza over.  They offered it around politely, to which my BIL answered “Na, I ain’t been long eat”.  Sadly, we all knew what he meant.   [i told that to illustrate making improper sentences work, in a pinch] .   Some things; “I seen it”, “onest” or even “twiced” I can wince and move on.  But “__________ and I’s” purely makes me stabby.  And I’m pretty sure it was Amber (a teacher - and doesn’t she teach ENGLISH?) who used it.