S07.E21: Rules of Engagement

[yourmomiseasy]

Looking beyond the fact that not being able to attend an event without the aid of hard liquor as a crutch signifies a problem...  Everyone is always free to bring what they want -- bringing said item may or may not be looked upon as rude .  When an event is formal enough to warrant a printed or engraved invitation, putting anything about guests bringing items implies that you are expecting it.  If a guest contacts you and asks you what they can do or bring, that's a different story, as is an event informal enough for phone or email invites.

[ghoulina]

15 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

I think she really did.  Her fight with Adam at the engagement party was strange.  It seemed like Adam had basically told Scheana that he didn't want to be exclusive but he also really didn't want confirmation that she slept with another guy, so lay off the social media.

Schaena seemed convinced that if she slept with another guy and Adam found out and acted out, then it was a declaration of love.  So Schaena did everything necessary to shove it in his face.  Then when he was declaring 'no' he didn't love her, Schaena was acting like he had admitted that he loved her and they just had to resolve the fight and decide to become exclusive.

She seemed convinced that Adam already loved her. She just needed to prove it to him. By sleeping with another dude and rubbing his face in it. She's clearly still operating under the grade school mentality where you think the boys that are mean to you like you. Hell, I've spent most of the season wondering if Adam even LIKED her; I'd never ever guess that LOVE was involved. 

[TattleTeeny]

2 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

She seemed convinced that Adam already loved her. She just needed to prove it to him. By sleeping with another dude and rubbing his face in it. She's clearly still operating under the grade school mentality where you think the boys that are mean to you like you. Hell, I've spent most of the season wondering if Adam even LIKED her; I'd never ever guess that LOVE was involved. 

I think that girl constantly pictures herself in a rom-com.

[Persnickety1]

On 4/30/2019 at 10:23 AM, Brooke0707 said:

You know, as awful as Scheana is and I think she'd be a pretty terrible friend IRL, I was thankful for her last night.  Because this may be petty of me, but I'm not watching this show to see mature people lead calm, happy lives.  That is great for people generally, but not really great for my entertainment.  Beau and Stassi may be a wonderful couple, but that doesn't mean I am entertained by them being lovey dovey every episode.  I need the cringe, the fighting, the drama.  If it's just them complimenting one another, it doesn't really do it for me.

Also, are Kristen and Carter over?  I didn't see him last night and I think he has been absent from her Instagram?

Well, come sit with me and my hand basket to hell, @Brooke0707.

I was really hoping James was going to guzzle multiple shots at dinner, and then mosey his drunken, obnoxious, immature, shit-stirring ass over to the engagement party and liven up that snoozefest with some debauchery and shenanigans.  

I was disappointed.  

Most boring season finale for this show ever.  

That being said, judging by the previews, it looks like the reunion might make up for it.  

[LibertarianSlut]

Is there a method of coping besides chugging hard liquor when supercilious and pedantic people show up at weddings, wedding events, and otherwise?  Prayer? 

[TattleTeeny]

Inappropriate dance routines? 

[heatherchandler]

On ‎4‎/‎29‎/‎2019 at 11:51 PM, whitekanye said:

beau wore makeup to the engagement 

I don't think I like Beau.  I did like him, but I now I don't.  Something bugs me.  

On ‎4‎/‎30‎/‎2019 at 8:37 AM, esco1822 said:

Well Ariana is very serious about (stand-up) comedy so she knows a joke.

BTW, I will forgive LVP everything for that last scene. I loved watching her do the beer bong, drop the mic (figuratively), dry heave and burp on mic (literally). Many LOLs at my house for that and the Toms' reactions.  

I was shocked she drank the beer!  Or "nitwit juice" for all the Gilmore Girl fans.

[Persnickety1]

On 4/30/2019 at 10:35 AM, biakbiak said:

It only has a beer and wine license. I don’t understand how that doesn’t make it a proper venue. They liked the space and went with it. If someone can’t handle attending a party that doesn’t have hard alcohol that’s on them. 

Agreed...plus if it were my event, I'd offer up as limited a supply of alcohol as possible just to try to avoid the chucklefucks' outrageous drunken shenanigans that ensue whenever they consume hard liquor.  

That being said, as a twisted member of the viewing audience, I truly wish it had been a full bar so I could watch the outrageous drunken shenanigans from the comfort of my own couch (because I'm hypocritical that way).  😄 

[CSunshine76]

6 hours ago, yourmomiseasy said:

So not providing hard liquor is bullshit, but not providing it and then putting the onus on your guests to bring it is okay?  Why not also have them bring their own mashed potato toppings?  It wasn't a potluck, it was an engagement party.  

Omg, this!  You don’t tell guests what you won’t be providing, nor doyou ask them to bring their own drinks to a formal party.  You host your guests properly with food and drink for the time of day, which Jax and Brittany did.

What you don’t do is throw your own engagement party, but that ship has sailed. That being said, I look forward to snarking on all the faux pas of the wedding of these fools.

[LibertarianSlut]

3 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Inappropriate dance routines? 

I fully support that!

I wonder where I got the impression that open bars were terribly important to these people.  Something about delaying procreation in favor of open bars--cough, Stassi, cough--was kind of my first clue.... 🙂

[biakbiak]

5 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

I fully support that!

I wonder where I got the impression that open bars were terribly important to these people.  Something about delaying procreation in favor of open bars--cough, Stassi, cough--was kind of my first clue.... 🙂

They had rose and champagne so self described basic bitch Stassi was fine with the setup that they had.

Edited May 2, 2019 by biakbiak

[ButterQueen]

On 4/29/2019 at 9:26 PM, CSunshine76 said:

I don’t think there’s a rule about white except for the wedding.  Even if there is, etiquette wentout the window when Jax and Brittany threw themselves an engagement party.  You don’t throw parties in your own honor.

Not to mention, had a wedding cake.  

[ButterQueen]

On 4/29/2019 at 11:16 PM, breezy424 said:

Note to LVP:   When you get to a certain age and it varies from woman to woman, a little bit of a sleeve is your friend.  The upper arms are getting a little crinkly.  And I know you're the queen bee of the show but  white?  Aren't you the queen of pink?  Was that a reminder to Brit?  Was that a reminder you don't outshine the queen?

And, the 'it was a joke' is getting old.  Too many 'jokes' at other people's expense.

I hope the penguin will be ok.  Custody should go to Brit.

I refuse to “have” to wear sleeves because I’m not as buff.  It happens to everyone.

[Thumper]

7 hours ago, ghoulina said:

She seemed convinced that Adam already loved her. She just needed to prove it to him. By sleeping with another dude and rubbing his face in it. She's clearly still operating under the grade school mentality where you think the boys that are mean to you like you. Hell, I've spent most of the season wondering if Adam even LIKED her; I'd never ever guess that LOVE was involved. 

If she LOVED Adam, why would she have sex with another guy????

[Sun-Bun]

7 minutes ago, Thumper said:

If she LOVED Adam, why would she have sex with another guy????

Well apparently she was super stoked to finally get a hot guy to come all the way over to Marina Del Rey just to eat her out. And she stupidly expected her BEST FRIEND to be so overcome with competitive jealousy over this development that it would force him to finally come to his senses, proclaim his undying love for Scheana, and assert his commitment to her once and for all because she’s such a gorgeous and desirable young woman with men just dying to take his place in her heart!!

Obviously that didn’t work. Plan B was a penguin. So much for the worst laid plans ever, but what else would one expect from a vapid dumbass like Scheana?

[ButterQueen]

15 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

I don't think it's at all tacky to have it printed or engraved on an invitation something like "Please note:  a variety of beer and wine choices will be available.  Guests may bring additional alcoholic beverages for their own consumption."  I would really appreciate something like that.  It would make me feel comfortable arriving with a bottle of Ketel One if that's what I wanted.  Tacky is what makes people feel uncomfortable.  I think this does just the opposite.  "Super tacky" is asking guests to provide all their own booze and also expecting a gift. 

To each his own though.  If people are happy with beer and wine bars, so be it.  I just don't happen to know any of those people.  It doesn't affect me at the end of the day.  I had the open bar that I wanted.  Jax and Brittney had the mashed potato bar with beer and wine, and I'm sure that down the line someone will have a smoothie bar with hemp milk and kale and shit.  Everyone has their preferences.

Both of my kids were married at gorgeous venues with awesome food.  The bar served only beer and wine...no liquor. Most nice venues do not allow a BYOB and I would have hated people doing that.  We provided an awesome choice of food and drinks, and no one complained or snuck liquor in.  One of my kids got married at a historical home, so they had strict rules.  Maybe it’s a geographical thing.  🤷‍♀️

Edited May 2, 2019 by ButterQueen

[breezy424]

On 4/30/2019 at 9:30 PM, LibertarianSlut said:

I see what you're saying.  

I guess it might be my specific background talking (and maybe a bit of low self-esteem mixed with anxiety), but I feel that if people are spending significant amounts of money and time on me, getting me gifts, traveling far and wide, the least I can do is offer them a stiff drink, a good meal and a good time.

I think weddings are utterly fascinating and I really don't think there's enough literature out there about them.  There are books about weddings, but there aren't books (that I've found, and I've looked) that address the psychological aspect of a wedding.  It's a very bizarre affair, IMO.  You're bringing people together to celebrate the biggest, best event of your life, yet a good half of those people are virtual or complete strangers (I'm talking about plus-ones and those "cousins" that no one has seen in 30 years) and many of them are complete strangers to each other. To add to that, couples are often split up because one or both of them has bridal or groom duties, and I think it's a really confusing and unique situation where you can lose yourself trying to bend over backward trying to please everyone even when it's supposed to be "your day."  I think a little or a lot of alcohol can go a long way in easing those tensions.

For my wedding, there were certain things that I was just going to have exactly how I wanted and I actually got a perverse thrill out of the idea that it might have been pushing the envelope (I'm talking 31" extensions, glammed out makeup, a strapless dress that wasn't totally demure, and, ahem, some edgy dance music.  Cause, damn--when else am I going to be able to do all that?).  With everything else I was obsessed with the guests' experience, and how everything would look to the guests' eyes to the point that I missed out on some joy.  So that's why I concede that I might not be in the right here.  It's just my opinion.  

I could see if Brittney and Jax were Muslim or Southern Baptists or just complete teetotalers and everyone knew, and knew what to expect.  But, know thy audience.  Look at that bus the guests rode in on!  That bus screams "tequila" to me, NOT wine lol.  Even then, I think that Brittney and Jax maybe could have written on the invitations that, while they are not serving liquor, people should feel free to bring their own.  I could totally see Flat Iron rocking that.  I don't know if the license would have allowed it though.  I know some restaurants that aren't allowed to sell wine will let you bring your own and serve it to you...

I didn't have a sip of alcohol at my wedding (I wasn't completely sober, but that's between me and my diary lol), because I wanted to be in total control.  But that was my choice.  I would rather have an ugly venue with an open bar than a nice venue with just beer and wine.  There's just something that strikes me as chintzy about not having an open bar where people can take shots of Patron or pop bottles of Dom like they just don't care (again, that's why I say this all may be specific to my background), and also vaguely puritanical.  I feel like, with beer and wine, there is that little whisper there that says, "you may drink.  But not too much."  And I think that affects the mood at least a little.  I have been to a wedding that served mimosas, and it felt very different than the other weddings I have been to that have had open bars.  I just want people--some of whom are coming out of obligation and don't give a shit about me--to be happy and satisfied.  Especially if they spent money on a gift, hair, etc.  I understand that my attitude may be misplaced.  

And, I am also a hypocrite, because Jax's engagement party was not exactly a wedding.  It was big enough that the way I feel about an open bar extends to it, but, thinking back, the events for my wedding that I didn't throw--my bridal shower and my rehearsal dinner--only served rum punch and beer and wine respectively (but the rehearsal was at a bar, so if you wanted a drink, you could buy one).  So...maybe I could cut them some slack.  I just remember there were at least two complaints that made it to air about the warm liquor and the wine, and I had secondhand embarrassment.

Maybe they shouldn't have served any alcohol at all.  Que that country music song: "You find out who your friends are." 🙂

(Sorry for the novel.  I guess I didn't feel like I could characterize why I reacted so strongly in fewer words.  I could probably edit better, but I have to go watch Real Houswives of Beverly Hills now).

This being a Bravo event for the show, I don't think Brit and Jax had a lot to say about the choice of venue.  Jax may have complained about the cost but let's face it, these venues are comped.  When the venue gets a picture of their of their sign at the entrance, they're paying for it with free accommodations.

Each state and jurisdiction has laws about alcohol and licenses.  And in many places just getting a liquor license can pretty tough.  Wine and Beer can be easier because it's based on alcohol content.  I know someone who trying to open a craft beer place.  They can't serve every beer because there is a limit on alcohol percentage and some beers are too high.  It gets pretty complicated.

But heck, I went to a relative's wedding not too long ago and it was 'dry'.  Totally,  The bride's father refused to allow alcohol.  The groom's parents were pissed.  I'm pretty sure the groom's parents heavily contributed to the cost of the reception.  A lot of us had to go out to check on our cars once in a while.  The whole reception was rather boring.  And meantime I go out and buy a $200 dress for this wedding and many of the men from the bride's family were wearing flannel shirts.   No jacket.  Go figure.

[MVFrostsMyPie]

I didn’t realize how controversial not having hard alcohol is. I usually am a wine or beer girl anyway, so no loss for me. If I can’t get a good mojito from the crappy rented bartender, I’d rather not even bother with a cocktail, and I don’t do shots anymore. 

Granted, they better have legit good wine and a craft beer or two (and not just an extreme choice between some extra hipster IPA and.... Coors light). Please, no two buck Chuck. 

[Sun-Bun]

17 minutes ago, MVFrostsMyPie said:

I didn’t realize how controversial not having hard alcohol is. I usually am a wine or beer girl anyway, so no loss for me. If I can’t get a good mojito from the crappy rented bartender, I’d rather not even bother with a cocktail, and I don’t do shots anymore. 

Granted, they better have legit good wine and a craft beer or two (and not just an extreme choice between some extra hipster IPA and.... Coors light). Please, no two buck Chuck. 

Amen to *all* this, from one wine or beer gal to another!!! Most rented bartenders make really shitty cocktails anyway, so what’s the big deal? Unless you’re as into shots as the extreme lushes on this cast, I don’t understand the big deal on no available hard liquor for certain events. Hell, those chucklefucks at the party were all either too coked/pilled up or stoned to properly enjoy any good liquor anyway. 

But yes, if it’s beer/wine offered only, it’d sure as Hell better feature the good shit and lots of selection. Like I just went to a party where the only available options at the bar were either three choices of nice bourbon or Miller Light; I’d originally just wanted to sip on a nice beer but decided I’d rather choke down the hard shit versus that bottled piss water. (Which makes me wonder what kind of vile beer they made LVP guzzle down her bong?!)

Edited May 2, 2019 by Sun-Bun

[MVFrostsMyPie]

Ugh, that's terrible! I'd have to stay sober, which is just unfortunate at weddings, because how else are you supposed to get through them?

[SarahPrtr]

On 4/30/2019 at 1:38 PM, Panda Bear said:

I'm convinced that the Scheana and Adam confrontation scene was fake, but god bless her for trying to liven things up. The detail of the penguin adoption, with the printout about it appearing at the engagement party, was gold (good as gold even)!

"That's what I like!"

[SarahPrtr]

On 4/30/2019 at 12:12 PM, nytonc said:

Will they have an assortment of beer cheese? Or are they saving it for the wedding?

Well, as long as they have enough Aqua Fava, they'll be just fine.

[MrsWitter]

6 hours ago, MVFrostsMyPie said:

Ugh, that's terrible! I'd have to stay sober, which is just unfortunate at weddings, because how else are you supposed to get through them?

14 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

Is there a method of coping besides chugging hard liquor when supercilious and pedantic people show up at weddings, wedding events, and otherwise?  Prayer? 

Sure, prayer, if that works for someone. There’s also meditation, deep breathing, prescription meds, and pot. I’m already preparing for a wedding this summer that is going to suck (not because of what’s served, but the people). I’m trying to figure out what my combo of the above will be for that day. I’ve done the excessive hard liquor at a bad wedding before and it just ended up ruining my next day. Obvi, MMV majorly.

I liked the idea of the potato bar, but I once went to a wedding with a grits bar and it was BEYOND. And that was actually a good wedding independent of the grits bar.

ETA: I thought of one more coping strategy. Periodically looking at pictures of your pets on your phone. I know looking at pictures of my dog calms me down.

Edited May 2, 2019 by MrsWitter

[Persnickety1]

9 hours ago, MVFrostsMyPie said:

I didn’t realize how controversial not having hard alcohol is. I usually am a wine or beer girl anyway, so no loss for me. If I can’t get a good mojito from the crappy rented bartender, I’d rather not even bother with a cocktail, and I don’t do shots anymore. 

Granted, they better have legit good wine and a craft beer or two (and not just an extreme choice between some extra hipster IPA and.... Coors light). Please, no two buck Chuck. 

Bartender Jax should have saddled up his riding cooler and navigated around the guests handing out cans of beer and mini bottles of wine.    

Might as well put that awesome cooler to good use.  

And might as well put Jax to good use, too.  

[eleanorofaquitaine]

I cannot tell you how many very vehement arguments I have gotten into online regarding the question of open bars at weddings and wedding-adjacent events. People often have really strong feelings about this, in ways that really surprise me.  I live in Massachusetts, where it is not uncommon for a wedding to have an open bar for a limited amount of time, then switch over to a cash bar, and when I have told my friends not from MA about this, you would have thought I killed their cat.

I think it was fine for Jax and Brittany to only provide wine and beer at the venue and IMO, only having wine and beer is not a disqualifier for an otherwise beautiful venue. Everyone seemed to be having fun at the party, so good on them for finding a somewhat classy venue that was also willing to let them film all of their messiness. 

[RHJunkie]

11 hours ago, breezy424 said:

This being a Bravo event for the show, I don't think Brit and Jax had a lot to say about the choice of venue.  Jax may have complained about the cost but let's face it, these venues are comped.  When the venue gets a picture of their of their sign at the entrance, they're paying for it with free accommodations.

Each state and jurisdiction has laws about alcohol and licenses.  And in many places just getting a liquor license can pretty tough.  Wine and Beer can be easier because it's based on alcohol content.  I know someone who trying to open a craft beer place.  They can't serve every beer because there is a limit on alcohol percentage and some beers are too high.  It gets pretty complicated.

But heck, I went to a relative's wedding not too long ago and it was 'dry'.  Totally,  The bride's father refused to allow alcohol.  The groom's parents were pissed.  I'm pretty sure the groom's parents heavily contributed to the cost of the reception.  A lot of us had to go out to check on our cars once in a while.  The whole reception was rather boring.  And meantime I go out and buy a $200 dress for this wedding and many of the men from the bride's family were wearing flannel shirts.   No jacket.  Go figure.

I was under the impression that Bravo compensates for any event hosted for the purpose of the show, but someone had provided a link a while back that explained that hosted getaways are comped but actual events are not. Bravo casts can negotiate better deals in exchange for providing a vendor with exposure on the show. While Jax was complaining about costs, it's possible that he was talking about the upfront value and not the discounted value they got. Surely they didn't pay full price considering that the venue was featured by name and on-site on two separate occasions.

I wouldn't be bothered showing up to an event with no hard liquor but on the flip side, as the host, I would be mindful of my guests because if you're going to great lengths to host an event, a large component is putting together an evening that your guests can enjoy. They are taking the time out of their day to attend and are spending money to show up to your event (via outfits and gifts), why wouldn't they be a consideration during the planning process? If I were Brittany and Jax, I would have included a note in the invitation that says 'please note that while the event is an open bar, the venue provides a variety of wine and beers only' though in the grand scheme of it all, it didn't seem like anyone was particularly bothered by the limited selection. Even if it was a dry wedding for religious reasons, I would at least informally let my friends and family who do drink know that alcohol would not be available. I wouldn't invite or ask people to bring their own but I have been to plenty of cash bars and weddings where the guests simply take occasional trips to their cars to top up. To inform your guests at least gives them the option to find some compromise to accommodate their personal needs to ensure they have a good time. 

[Stiggs]

1 hour ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

I cannot tell you how many very vehement arguments I have gotten into online regarding the question of open bars at weddings and wedding-adjacent events. People often have really strong feelings about this, in ways that really surprise me.  I live in Massachusetts, where it is not uncommon for a wedding to have an open bar for a limited amount of time, then switch over to a cash bar, and when I have told my friends not from MA about this, you would have thought I killed their cat.

I think it was fine for Jax and Brittany to only provide wine and beer at the venue and IMO, only having wine and beer is not a disqualifier for an otherwise beautiful venue. Everyone seemed to be having fun at the party, so good on them for finding a somewhat classy venue that was also willing to let them film all of their messiness. 

Heh, I come from folks who would never even think of NOT having an open bar, and STRONGLY feel that making wedding guests pay for drinks is as gauche as it gets. I'm always shocked to see people who spend money on stupid wedding shit who skimp on the food and the drinks, cuz that would be my first concern, but everyone is different. I don't drink much but weddings are boring so I usually wind up getting drunk with like, third cousin Jason who was stuck at the kids' table. I don't remember ever being offended that I had to pay for drinks, heh. I was just glad they were there. 

However, for an engagement party, I have no idea. When a friend of mine got married she had 4 lead-up events the week before the wedding (not even including the rehearsal dinner there) and then had the after-wedding brunch—and said by far, her biggest wedding expense was booze. I was like, then don't have a $60K wedding with a billion different stupid events that were all boring, but whatevs. Different strokes. I'm old. We didn't do that shit, lol. $20K for an engagement party is insane, the cake-cutting was tacky AF and the theme was just unnecessary—but I am here all day long for a mashed potato bar and Sheana crying to Mamaw about her non-boyfriend and penguins. 

[biakbiak]

It seems we have cared more about the alcohol situation at this event than any of the borderline alcoholic guests and probably the producers because other than Scheana once again completely humiliating herself for our enjoyment because it was quite a boring finale! 

[LibertarianSlut]

34 minutes ago, Stiggs said:

Heh, I come from folks who would never even think of NOT having an open bar, and STRONGLY feel that making wedding guests pay for drinks is as gauche as it gets. I'm always shocked to see people who spend money on stupid wedding shit who skimp on the food and the drinks, cuz that would be my first concern

Damn, we must be from the same place (figuratively).  Where I come from, it's like a shameful thing not to provide an open bar.  It pretty much means you're cheap and thoughtless, but from this discussion, I see that it is a lot different for a lot of others, so I learn something new every day.

Like I stated upthread, I did not imbibe one sip of alcohol on my wedding day, even to the point of discreetly switching out the champagne for the champagne toast for sparkling cider, (because no one needed anyone speculating I was pregnant), but I would have died for my open bar for my guests, as well as a carving station and enough food to feed a kingdom at cocktail hour alone.  It would have been a loss of face for me not to have this.

And I totally agree that food and booze are the last places to skimp.  Since my mom and MIL are awesome and our parents are very generous, my husband and I had an amazing outdoor venue, but, as I stated upthread, I would have rather had the wedding at Sid's Weddings 4 U (made-up place) rather than give my guests anything less than the best food, dance, and booze.  I wouldn't have been able to do it.  I think I would have eloped first.  

I agree that it is gauche to make people pay for drinks, but I guess a cash bar is better than no bar (?) And it can be a good compromise for pre-wedding events I guess...

I also didn't know--until we had this discussion on here--that people are free to bring their own booze when it's not provided or explicitly stated somewhere. I watch Sister Wives, and one of the daughters was marrying a Mormon guy, and since there was to be no alcohol served at the weddding, and I thought that meant that there would be no alcohol consumed at the weeding, but apparently, from reading here, it's ok to bring your own stuff, which is another compromise that would work for me as an attendee of an event.

People also made good points that they would rather not have an open bar if the bartender is not good.  I was thinking the opposite--that you can't really screw up hard liquor--I'm talking gin and tonics and vodka sodas, not fancy cocktails--but you can sure as hell have shitty acidic wine and warm beer.  So I see it differently now.  

I guess I thought, in a nutshell, that if not having an open bar would be a disgrace to me and mine, then Jax and Brit not having an open bar for their people would be an all-out sin against The Church of We-Ho.  I see it a little differently now.  I find these discussions very interesting and enlightening. 

I hope that people take my POV as just that--my POV.  I can always stand to learn new things and see the error of my ways, and, despite my misanthropy, everyone should be happy when they plan their wedding events! Even if I think they made a misstep, that's just my opinion, and I generally wish the best for them (except, James, don't go for Appalachia--just don't do it man! Lol)

[ghoulina]

21 hours ago, heatherchandler said:

I was shocked she drank the beer!  Or "nitwit juice" for all the Gilmore Girl fans.

LVP would definitely prefer a "Rory". 

[ButterQueen]

While I thought the engagement party was lovely, I realize that production probably had a huge hand in the whole thing.  When I attend a party or wedding of a friend or family member, I just enjoy the occasion and am happy to have been included.  I never give any thought to what the couple did or did not spend their money on, since it’s not my money to spend.  There is no “gold standard” for weddings, be it music, food or the bar.  I have attended cash bar weddings and haven’t thought one bit about buying my beverage.  Not everyone has the money to give their guests everything, and the couple needs to use their money on what they want.  I’m there to be supportive, not judgmental.  I did think the whole cake cutting was too much for an engagement party though.

[eleanorofaquitaine]

2 hours ago, Stiggs said:

Heh, I come from folks who would never even think of NOT having an open bar, and STRONGLY feel that making wedding guests pay for drinks is as gauche as it gets. I'm always shocked to see people who spend money on stupid wedding shit who skimp on the food and the drinks, cuz that would be my first concern, but everyone is different. I don't drink much but weddings are boring so I usually wind up getting drunk with like, third cousin Jason who was stuck at the kids' table. I don't remember ever being offended that I had to pay for drinks, heh. I was just glad they were there. 

However, for an engagement party, I have no idea. When a friend of mine got married she had 4 lead-up events the week before the wedding (not even including the rehearsal dinner there) and then had the after-wedding brunch—and said by far, her biggest wedding expense was booze. I was like, then don't have a $60K wedding with a billion different stupid events that were all boring, but whatevs. Different strokes. I'm old. We didn't do that shit, lol. $20K for an engagement party is insane, the cake-cutting was tacky AF and the theme was just unnecessary—but I am here all day long for a mashed potato bar and Sheana crying to Mamaw about her non-boyfriend and penguins. 

I think people wrongly assume that what is common in whatever geographic region or culture they grew up is universal. But regardless, it's not like Jax and Brittany provided no alcohol whatsoever. They just provided beer and wine, which in my view is fine.

That being said, I agree with you that $20,000 for an engagement party is an insane amount of money to spend. Makes for decent tv, though. 

[RHJunkie]

1 hour ago, LibertarianSlut said:

I also didn't know--until we had this discussion on here--that people are free to bring their own booze when it's not provided or explicitly stated somewhere. I watch Sister Wives, and one of the daughters was marrying a Mormon guy, and since there was to be no alcohol served at the weddding, and I thought that meant that there would be no alcohol consumed at the weeding, but apparently, from reading here, it's ok to bring your own stuff, which is another compromise that would work for me as an attendee of an event.

2

From my experiences, it depends on why it's a dry wedding. I've only been to dry weddings when it was due to religious reason and the guests have always been discreet. A small flask in their purse or pocket, or a trip to their car....but they don't just bust out the bottles and pass them around or advertise they're the undercover bartender. It's always amusing because guaranteed, when you make a trip to your car to top up our cup, you'll see at least a couple of other wedding guests huddled around their own cars doing the same thing, lol. 

[Callaphera]

Holy shit, it sounds like half of this thread would be clutching their pearls and have their judgey pants pulled up tight for my wedding. 

Cash bar? BYOB, bitches. Venue? Well, I swept the living room floor and tacked some twinkle lights to the wall. Food? Be happy with your meat-and-cheese tray and grocery store cake or wait until we go out for dinner. Attire? My Only Maid wore black. 

Didn't start my married life broke or stressed, though.

Edited May 2, 2019 by Callaphera
my maid was only, not old, damn it. Thanks, auto-correct!

[Mindthinkr]

I agree with he poster (above in the thread) who thought it was tacky of LVP to wear white to this event. That was a bit of shade or upstaging Brittany. Lisa has said that she cares about her “Kentucky Muffin”, but I don’t believe it. If she really cared she would have worn her usual pink (other than her pink brassiere showing) outfit and let the bride (to be) be the star of the night. Did she even bring them a gift? I don’t recall. 

Oh my on all this open versus cash bar discussion. I’ve been to both. My focus is not on what I’m getting, but that the couple are happy and everything runs smoothly. 

[Thumper]

Are we supposed to bring a gift to the engagement party?  And the shower? And the wedding?  I have never been to an engagement party.  Wow.

Way too much money for that party.

[RHJunkie]

37 minutes ago, Thumper said:

Are we supposed to bring a gift to the engagement party?  And the shower? And the wedding?  I have never been to an engagement party.  Wow.

Way too much money for that party.

I don't think a gift is mandatory but from what I've read, they say to consider how formal the event is going to be and the gift I guess can be as simple as a bottle of bubbly if you didn't want to come empty handed. I think the bridal shower and wedding are the only two wedding related events where it would be really tacky to show up as a guest without a gift.

[MVFrostsMyPie]

A footnote on what I'd said earlier about alcohol - I've never been to a cash bar wedding, and that, I think, would for sure be a disappointment. 

An open bar for a wedding is more important than an open bar for a silly engagement party. 

But what's really important is that there be booze available for guests at baby showers (and ugh, the absolute worst waste of time: gender reveal parties). I'm going to need a lot of prosecco or sangria if I'm going to make it through a baby shower where I have to ooh and aah politely as you open your boxes of bows and booties and pacifiers and burp cloths and all that other baby stuff that I have no interest in (I prefer to gift books instead).

[smores]

11 hours ago, Stiggs said:

Heh, I come from folks who would never even think of NOT having an open bar, and STRONGLY feel that making wedding guests pay for drinks is as gauche as it gets. I'm always shocked to see people who spend money on stupid wedding shit who skimp on the food and the drinks, cuz that would be my first concern, but everyone is different. I don't drink much but weddings are boring so I usually wind up getting drunk with like, third cousin Jason who was stuck at the kids' table. I don't remember ever being offended that I had to pay for drinks, heh. I was just glad they were there. 

I am from an open bar background.  I don't actually drink that much, and I don't think it's horrible to have just wine and beer vs a full on bar if you are having a dinner. 

10 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

I also didn't know--until we had this discussion on here--that people are free to bring their own booze when it's not provided or explicitly stated somewhere. I watch Sister Wives, and one of the daughters was marrying a Mormon guy, and since there was to be no alcohol served at the weddding, and I thought that meant that there would be no alcohol consumed at the weeding, but apparently, from reading here, it's ok to bring your own stuff, which is another compromise that would work for me as an attendee of an event.

I generally don't think it's ok to bring your own booze unless you're told it is.  If it's a dry wedding, then it's a dry wedding (to me).  I look at it as if I was going to someone's house for a meal, they may or may not offer me wine or a cocktail, some people don't drink, and I wouldn't just bring my own along with me.  

BUT.  

I have a relative who had a wedding that was pretty ridiculous.  They wanted to have a bunch of stuff, they wanted to have a bunch of people.  Their budget wouldn't support all the thing and all the people.  So they cut corners.  And it became tacky.  I have no issues with a low budget event, you want to have a backyard picnic? I'm in! Want me to bring something? I'm happy to!  Want a black tie event? I'm in for that.  What I'm NOT here for is when you clearly treat some guests differently than others.  The bridal party got champagne, real plates and silverware.  The rest of us were at tables with plastic table cloths, paper plates with plastic silverware.  There wasn't enough food for everyone, there was not enough cake for everyone, because the bride felt "not everyone eats, people will leave early, blah, blah"  It was bad.  And when a cousin started shuttling in cups of vodka from their trunk, I didn't feel bad at all about adding it to the watered down powdered lemonade that they'd made for the guests.  

1 hour ago, MVFrostsMyPie said:

A footnote on what I'd said earlier about alcohol - I've never been to a cash bar wedding, and that, I think, would for sure be a disappointment. 

Cash bars are not my favorite thing ever, because they're always a surprise and I rarely have cash on me.  Also, I think it's not cool for an event with a cash bar to not have ANY option other than water for free.  There should be at least a couple of options that are free for people to drink and not everyone in the world likes iced tea.  If I have to leave you event to get cash to get a beverage, I'm likely not going to want to come back. I think this kind of goes along with inviting people and then skimping on food and beverage.

[aussieinsydney]

On 5/1/2019 at 12:56 AM, bichonblitz said:

I just do not get the Raquel hate. So who gives a rats ass that she's not the smartest girl that ever graced this show full of alcoholics and back stabbers? She's a much nicer person than all of the other bitches on this show. That should count for something.  

I don't buy her nice act. I think once she gets a real foot hold in the door, her true not so nice personality will come out.

[Mr. Miner]

8 hours ago, smores said:

BUT.  

I have a relative who had a wedding that was pretty ridiculous.  They wanted to have a bunch of stuff, they wanted to have a bunch of people.  Their budget wouldn't support all the thing and all the people.  So they cut corners.  And it became tacky.  I have no issues with a low budget event, you want to have a backyard picnic? I'm in! Want me to bring something? I'm happy to!  Want a black tie event? I'm in for that.  What I'm NOT here for is when you clearly treat some guests differently than others.  The bridal party got champagne, real plates and silverware.  The rest of us were at tables with plastic table cloths, paper plates with plastic silverware.  There wasn't enough food for everyone, there was not enough cake for everyone, because the bride felt "not everyone eats, people will leave early, blah, blah"  It was bad.  And when a cousin started shuttling in cups of vodka from their trunk, I didn't feel bad at all about adding it to the watered down powdered lemonade that they'd made for the guests.  

lol! Tacky might be an understatement.

[Higgins]

Is a marijuana bar tacky?

[OnceSane]

1 hour ago, Higgins said:

Is a marijuana bar tacky?

Can I come to your wedding? 

[Higgins]

2 minutes ago, OnceSane said:

Can I come to your wedding? 

Sorry...30 years too late.

[walnutqueen]

1 hour ago, Higgins said:

Sorry...30 years too late.

Sounds like it's high time for a vow renewal ceremony ...

[LibertarianSlut]

On 5/1/2019 at 5:37 PM, heatherchandler said:

I don't think I like Beau.  I did like him, but I now I don't.  Something bugs me.  

I agree, except I never liked him, but I have gone from hate to love-to-hate.  I think he should be with Scheana.  Their scenes would meet all of my love-to-hate requirements at once.

I will say:  I find it fucking unnerving and disingenuous at the kind of eye contact he makes with Stassi.  I noticed it twice this past episode.  The first time they were in her apartment, just talking about something trivial, and he had his eyes locked on her the whole entire time she spoke. It was like he was thinking how to kill and eat her or something.  

The other time was at the engagement party, when Stassi, Lisa and Beau were talking about the Stassi-Beau relationship, and Stassi was sort of on Beau's lap, which meant he had to crane his neck like 100 degrees to see her face-to-face, but there he was, in a multiple person conversation, staring directly into Stassi's eyes, almost without pause.  Gag. It's like, dude, I get it.  Your mom's a mental health professional.  At some point she told you eye contact was important.  Doesn't mean that if you look away for two seconds Stassi is going to turn to dust.

There is this female couples on Sister Wives who do the same exact constant eye contact thing and it freaks me out.  You will never see them not looking at each other--even in talking heads--and more likely than not, their arms are intertwined.  Insecure much?  

Secondly, with respect to Beau, I know I have been speculating about this all season, but Beau and Stassi's WWHL appearance on Monday absolutely sealed the deal for me that he's un(der)employed.  Andy asked Beau directly, "what do you do?" And Beau responded that he's "in commercial casting."  That's a dodge, bro.  If you have a job, you say it.  "I'm a caterer."  "I'm a doctor."  "I'm a commercial casting agent."  When you name the industry, instead of the job, I have to assume the lowest common denominator.  Like, maybe he works 10 days a year in commercial casting, he is on a commercial casting company's payroll for some below-board reason, or he sweeps the floors in a commercial casting building.  When people are evasive about shit, it's for a reason.  I know that trick, because I've used that trick.  I used to know someone who was unemployed, and when people asked me what he did, I said, "he's in finance," because he was selling a few shares of stock every now and again, so it wasn't a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth.  I see you, Beau!  Why doesn't Beau just say his job is to love on Stassi like no woman has ever been loved?  He would never have to work another day in his life.

The only other reason I can possibly think of for saying "commercial casting" is that Beau believes Judge Judy when she says the IRS watches these reality programs, and he is trying to dodge the tax man.  Occam's Razor says it's the former. 

I don't really care if he's a dilettante; I just don't like the half-truths.  Carter doesn't seem to have a real revenue stream, but I don't care one way or the other, because he seems honest about it.  I don't care what Raquel does for work.  I start to care when I feel like someone's being deceptive and/or being hailed as the Second Coming of Christ.

The third and last thing I'll say about Beau is that he was not well-groomed for a nice party.  A man can have facial hair and/or long hair and appear appropriately.  Look at Peter.  But I think it's borderline disrespectful and certainly embarrassing to show up at a fancy engagement party and the finale for the show you're gunning to join with bed head and a 10 o'clock shadow that is all over your face and neck.  It's like it's his "thing" and we're all supposed to gush about how lovable and independent and emo he is.  Not me. 

[FannyPackOfLies]

On 4/30/2019 at 12:42 PM, SunnyBeBe said:

Did I misunderstand or did Lisa compare Jax to Ken?  Something about how KEN did change his spots.  Really? Hard to believe that Ken was like Jax.  That's pretty scary.  

Ick. It does explain her otherwise inexplicable soft spot for Jax, though. And she said she sees herself in Stassi. 

On 4/30/2019 at 5:41 PM, JenE4 said:

~$20K for an ENGAGEMENT party?!? Um, who’s going to tell these people they’re not real celebrities? Jax was complaining about $300 mashed potatoes but somehow $3,000 for flowers seems reasonable? A $14,000 venue?? 

Brittany knows her next husband won’t be able to afford all this bullshit or go for doing it, even if somehow he is that rich, he probably won’t be as stupid or as big of a fuck up to give her this much leverage, as Jax is. I think it’s her way of kind of getting back at Jax, in addition to fulfilling her lifelong obsession with her wedding.

On 5/1/2019 at 4:37 PM, heatherchandler said:

I don't think I like Beau.  I did like him, but I now I don't.  Something bugs me.  

I’m bothered by the fact he acts like an immature idiot quite a bit and he’s got to be 40+. He might not be a horrible person like some of the other guys and he definitely holds his liquor better but he’s still way too old to act the way he does and it’s annoying he completely gets away with it because the rest are much bigger train wrecks. Some people find him charming and such a catch but he’s just as big of a drunk as the rest of them, he just does or at least used to, hold down a real job too. That’s the bare minimum a guy his age should do. I’m not convinced he’d be such an amazing catch in most crowds. He’s surely better than anyone we’ve seen Stassi date in the past, but that doesn’t make him Prince Charming. He’s still older than Jax and still getting wasted frequently, dressing up in stupid costumes and generally doing the same dumb shit as the rest of them. He comes across better mostly because he works in casting and has an acting background and the rest of them don’t even have much self awareness, let alone skills on how to present their image a certain way on TV. Beau is at least partially performing for the camera all the time to me.

21 hours ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

I think people wrongly assume that what is common in whatever geographic region or culture they grew up is universal. But regardless, it's not like Jax and Brittany provided no alcohol whatsoever. They just provided beer and wine, which in my view is fine.

That being said, I agree with you that $20,000 for an engagement party is an insane amount of money to spend. Makes for decent tv, though. 

I’m originally from Michigan and there in my experience it’s very common for a wedding to only serve wine and beer for free and have a cash bar for anything else. I’ve been to weddings at actual venues where the only alcohol available is a keg, which people served themselves from. Since this was just their engagement party I bet Jax thought having unlimited wine and beer provided for the guests was classy and plenty to offer. I assume Kentucky, or at least Brittany’s small town area of it, probably has similar ideas about this. I’ve lived in several different areas since and it really is about geography and what is common for the area. I wonder if they’ll do the same for their actual wedding or if this was just because the venue didn’t allow hard liquor? I can’t imagine that Brittany will want to celebrate her wedding without her precious, yet ulcer-inducing, tequila. I’m also sure they’d find ways to sneak hard liquor in, if desired.

12 hours ago, smores said:

What I'm NOT here for is when you clearly treat some guests differently than others.  The bridal party got champagne, real plates and silverware.  The rest of us were at tables with plastic table cloths, paper plates with plastic silverware.  There wasn't enough food for everyone, there was not enough cake for everyone, because the bride felt "not everyone eats, people will leave early, blah, blah"  It was bad.  And when a cousin started shuttling in cups of vodka from their trunk, I didn't feel bad at all about adding it to the watered down powdered lemonade that they'd made for the guests.  

I was in the bridal party for an event like this, right down to the real plates vs disposable. They even had styrofoam bowls of little pepper and salt packets on the tables for the other guests, as opposed to actual shakers on the head table. It wasn’t so much that they were cutting corners to get everything they wanted on a budget but that they just literally didn’t see any issue with it at all. It was so odd, especially looking back on it. The event was catered by a relative of the groom and he had bottles of liquor stashed in the venue’s kitchen, for the wedding party only. We were supposed slip back there and get some, if desired. I passed. This was a wedding with a keg only for the rest of the guests, but I’ve been to several that had that feature. This was the only one with different quality for different guests. The wedding party was also supposed to return the next morning and clean the venue ourselves, Sheena at Rob’s rental in Big Bear style. I paid $300 for a bridesmaid dress, $80 for hair,  $40 for makeup, $75 for shoes, $100 in gifts and probably more I’m forgetting and then I’m expected to clean the venue? I accidentally overslept. Oops. I was later told that the bride and groom didn’t even show up to help and they stayed on-site whereas everyone else had to drive miles again to return to the far flung venue to clean it. I could actually see Jax thinking this was ok too. I’m still casually friends with the bride but damn, that was an interesting wedding.

How many will bet that Jax and Brittany do the stupid dollar dance and everything else like that too even though Jax says he’s a millionaire? 

[SunnyBeBe]

Well,  you got me on that one.....the WEDDING PARTY HAS TO RETURN THE NEXT DAY TO CLEAN UP THE VENUE!  Omg.  That's scary wild. What country are you in? lol

[FannyPackOfLies]

20 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Well,  you got me on that one.....the WEDDING PARTY HAS TO RETURN THE NEXT DAY TO CLEAN UP THE VENUE!  Omg.  That's scary wild. What country are you in? lol

Lol that was in Michigan. About 8 years ago. 

[Fruitless]

On 5/1/2019 at 8:11 AM, Higgins said:

WVU!!!

On 5/1/2019 at 8:49 AM, Stiggs said:

We might be cousins, lol. Go Mounties! 

On 5/1/2019 at 10:59 AM, LibertarianSlut said:

Hell yes!  If James talks any serious shit about Appalachia, I am going to be done with him.  Beckley is my jam.  

Do you know why they use clear trash bags to pick up trash on the side of the highway in West Virginia?

Window shopping!!

(Go Hokies!)