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S09.E09: Momster Mash


druzy
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Barb plans her trip to meet with Jace's dad, causing Jenelle anxiety.

Impressed with DeVoin’s improvement, Briana considers making a big change.

Chelsea plans one-on-one time with Aubree.

Kailyn is upset when Javi calls her out.

Airs March 11, 2019

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22 hours ago, druzy said:

I’m pretty sure Jace isn’t just realizing any of this, it’s just the first time it was so obvious that Jenelle couldn’t help but notice herself. A better parent would’ve already been having conversations about all of this with their child all along, so they had some understanding of the differences in their family. Was that subtle shade when Barb said that kids are asking “where’s your dad? where’s your mom?” at school? You could tell Jenelle was trying hard to keep the bitchface to a minimum when she was listening to Barb. Even when Jenelle  has a slight point, it’s all bullshit coming from her, who has never actually raised Jace!

If I had to guess I’d say Jenelle has done a lot more harm to Jace by being IN his life than Andrew has done staying OUT of it...so who is actually a shittier parent? I wonder how much Jace was just crying about his parental situation in general, seeing Kaiser receive so much love and attention. It’s too bad he doesn’t even get to have a “real” grandmother experience because Barb has been forced to parent him, so she can’t spoil him and act like a traditional grandparent. Jace really has so little family. It seems he only really has Barb, Colin (not sure to what extent but there have been pics), the cousins Barb is also raising and The Land creatures and his siblings that he interacts with. 

6 hours ago, druzy said:

On tonight's episode Kail's annoyed...

When is she not annoyed?! I need more context but it does sound fucked up if Javi listed Lauren as the other parent emergency contact or whatever! She’s brand fucking new in Lincoln’s life, essentially, for one and they’re not even married. They’re both so petty and all the bullshit about missing games is just so ridiculous! Most kids don’t have both parents at every damn game. Big deal! And Kailyn, switching a day should be for the child’s sake - if Javi’s insta-family is doing something special Lincoln shouldn’t be left out just so you can be an ass and not switch just to be petty. You’d think they’d understand this by now.

Edited by Rebecca
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20 minutes ago, druzy said:
Leah is a schmuck. Some things should be private. 
 

So it’s not a competition but she’s going to reveal the grades one by one in front of the other kids? She’s making it a damn competition. And it shouldn’t be on the show in any case. Saying Addie has a “crap eating grin” is just so tacky, especially to say in front of your kids. Addie’s “what are you gonna gimme?” should’ve been corrected by at least one of them! She’s going to be a real diva brat soon if no one ever checks her. Leah just seems to think “that’s just Addie” but kids don’t learn manners (or much of anything!) without being taught them first.

Obviously I can’t stfu in these threads today 😆. The episode is going to piss me off based on what we’ve seen so far. Shocking. 😝 

Edited by Rebecca
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Apparently, "the girlses" get "satisfaction" on their report cards. (Well, Addie, because she doesn't get letter grades.)

And I CANNOT with Kail's bitching and whining about everything. She had to WORK. She had her PODCAST. I had to FF through that.

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Briana is like a professional vacationer. Must be nice!

I'm so over Leah's boyyyyfriend and his constant assessments. I agree with those who say Leah is still medicated. Lower dose. 

Chelsea and Cole 😴😴🛌💀

Kailyn just likes to keep up shit. 

Poor Jace has so many sub par family members it's actually sad. 

I think the coven must have signed a 112 month lease on that apartment. Thats the only explanation for them still being there. 

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When Kail was bitching and whining to her producer about the soccer emails, she looked HUGE!! Like 9+ months pregnant huge. Kail is just so awful; always angry and combative and aggressive and seems to think she is somehow better than everyone else. Hate. Her. So so much!

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I got immediately nervous when Devoin was saying there would be no drama on their Puerto Rico trip. On a reality show that’s usually a sign of bad things to come...or good depending, haha. But I don’t want their relationship to be ruined with Roxanne throwing a lamp or something again. How can she suddenly be so calm?

The last name thing is so dumb. They should both have Briana's last name, imo. Why give the girls the burden of having a different last name than the rest of the family? Maybe if the girls had the same dad and thus same (different) last name, it would make some sense but why should Stella have the name of a guy she literally never sees? And has no connection with? Aubree knows and loves the Linds so it makes sense there, even without Adumb. Stella doesn't even know any LastNameLuises that we know about. And Briana acted like it was some honor for her to have it ... ? And maybe wait and see if Devoin keeps it up first, considering he didn't do that much for years.

With that I think Briana is projecting HER wants on the kids and assuming they feel the same, as she does, as @Tatum said some of the moms do in another thread. Who says Nova even wants her name changed?? Nova’s gone through many changes already and her aunt, mom and grandma have the same last name too. Nova appears to be very sensitive, I think she might be upset by having a different last name. Devoin is a thoughtful guy underneath it all the realize that. I think Nova has more his introverted, sensitive nature. It’s pretty crazy Briana didn’t even seem to think she’d notice? Of course she would. Devoin is clearly just smarter than Briana too. Nova needs him or she’s fucked with the coven! I really hope he’s truly grown as a father and keeps stepping up. I’ve always (sometimes inexplicably) kinda liked him. Please be a “Jo Rivera” (or as adjacent as possible) when it comes to parenting going forward!

The DeJesus women have straaaaange ideas about men and they just keep revealing that more and more. Does Briana wish she had her deadbeat dad’s last name? I have to assume it's stemming from that? Why the hell would Brittany want to get up at 5am to go to Nova's dental surgery so she can watch Stella there? When Roxanne was going to be there too? And Devoin? I don’t understand these group dental outings! It wasn’t open heart surgery. I’m glad Brittany was like, fuck that shit.

EDIT: longest post ever about Briana? Lol! Wtf! 

Edited by Rebecca
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31 minutes ago, druzy said:

I just noticed in the closing credits that Andrew had black eyes.

Maybe I missed something but wasn’t it super dramatic eye bags? Because that’s all I could see in his scenes! Or do you mean they looked even worse than when he was talking to his friend? Yikes. Either way, he clearly has the mannerisms and appearance of someone who has a long drug history, past or present to be determined, IMO.

24 minutes ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

I think the coven must have signed a 112 month lease on that apartment. Thats the only explanation for them still being there. 

Lol! I thought Brittany moved out? Must’ve been after this? I hope she did! Live your life girl!

16 minutes ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

I've never seen Nova smile so mich as when she was doped up on "happy juice"

Probably the first time she’s ever been truly relaxed in her life! She’s so different temperament-wise than The Coven that it must be so draining to be around them. (Btw, I’ve wanted to mention that I love your username 😆)

Edited by Rebecca
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There is hope for Gracie yet. Who would have thought that the child that everyone pegged as repeating the cycle has enough sense  to not want to end up like her mother. Lol 

I want to root for Lauren because that not catering to Kail's line was great but the follow up was terrible. If she cares about how she  comes off on TV, she would give neutral answers regarding Kail and let Kail hang herself when she inevitably Hulk's out over the latest perceived slight from Javi.

It seems like Briana's  children are always in the hospital for  something. Also, I can smell the sebum build up from Briana's greasy  mane through my screen.

The fallout  from Lurch being fired continues  with the BS Andrew storyline.  I hope Jace never sees these episodes . I mean, how low do you have to go for a storyline  to dig up Andrew and have him feigned  interest in seeing Jace?

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6 minutes ago, edie3 said:

Wasn't Andrew a model?  And what was wrong with Nova's teeth?  Must have been pretty bad.  I'm thinking cavities.

Andrew was allegedly a model in China. But he’s alleged a lot of thing so... who knows. I assumed she had to get some baby teeth taken out because her adult teeth could be harmed because of crowding or whatever. I had to have most of my baby teeth taken out, over time, because they literally never fell out and it would become a problem for various adult teeth. I never even had a cavity in a baby tooth so it’s degjnitely not necessarily something like that.

Lol forever at Aleeeeeeeah saying they were going to college to not end up like Leah...just make sure you don't get pregnant before you even leave high school and you should be good, you’re probably already smarter than your mother, Aleeeeeah. I wonder what Leah's grades were like in school? Sure seemed like Leah was "playing" when it came to education in the not so distant past, while she was repeatedly bringing them to school late. I guess if she’s going to actually step up her parenting (instead of just saying these things to impress Jason) Jason being around could be a positive in that way. Maybe wanting to seem smarter will result in smarter choices overall.

Missing a kid's freaking soccer game is NOT A BIG DEAL, jaysus! Javi and Kailyn both look stupid and petty. Because they are. Javi putting Lauren down on the list instead of Kailyn is shit but it's also the exact kind of thing she'd do herself...I could just see her doing just that to Jo in regard to Isaac in the past, when she was married to Javi and trying to erase Jo. @ghoulina, good point about how Kailyn should’ve given the coach the info herself. 

Lauren seems a bit Kailyn adjacent to me, personality wise. She's got it more together and presents much better but I feel something lurking below the surface. Something seems off to me and Javi has had bad taste in women so far so... 

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50 minutes ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

I've never seen Nova smile so mich as when she was doped up on "happy juice"

I want some happy juice to watch this show.  

We should all do it.  And live chat the episodes.  That would be hilarious.  

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7 hours ago, Rebecca said:

When is she not annoyed?! I need more context but it does sound fucked up if Javi listed Lauren as the other parent emergency contact or whatever! She’s brand fucking new in Lincoln’s life, essentially, for one and they’re not even married. They’re both so petty and all the bullshit about missing games is just so ridiculous! Most kids don’t have both parents at every damn game. Big deal! And Kailyn, switching a day should be for the child’s sake - if Javi’s insta-family is doing something special Lincoln shouldn’t be left out just so you can be an ass and not switch just to be petty. You’d think they’d understand this by now.

It sounded like the Soccer Parent Group Text!

Hahahaahahah! 

If Kaitlyn wants to be on the group text someone just adds her. 

Which is what that parent did when Kaitlyn wanted the photo.

Lauren is on the group text because she needs that info since she is also helping to raise Lincoln.  

Kaitlyn needs to STFU!  If she was at the game, then she would know there was new text group.

She obviously is not friends with the other moms, or else they would have added her.

Edited by Dance4Life
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Roxanne needs to put Briana on child support!

WTF? This woman has to get up  before sunrise to drive her granddaughter and daughter to the dentist?

Briana at the hospital in just her bra? Get dressed, woman!

Excuse me!  You need to tell Devoin to take you and Nova to dentist.

This is what dads do! 

Edited by Dance4Life
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4 hours ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

Briana is like a professional vacationer. Must be nice!

I'm so over Leah's boyyyyfriend and his constant assessments. I agree with those who say Leah is still medicated. Lower dose. 

Chelsea and Cole 😴😴🛌💀

Kailyn just likes to keep up shit. 

Poor Jace has so many sub par family members it's actually sad. 

I think the coven must have signed a 112 month lease on that apartment. Thats the only explanation for them still being there. 

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

The Jesus Coven lives on that witchy eternal time.

They will be in that apartment for the rest of Time!

(time is not really traveling for them)

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Oh yeah...Andrew's friend's hat. My grandpa used to wear his baseball cap like that. And he wore the ankle boots. He was quite the hipster, being born in 1913. Perhaps a proto-hipster.

Kailyn continues to give Javi the gift of attention. And knowing that whatever crime he is rightfully or wrongfully accused up (and I'm leaning more towards the latter), not only irritates her, but also gives him more attention. 

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10 hours ago, Rebecca said:

The last name thing is so dumb. They should both have Briana's last name, imo. Why give the girls the burden of having a different last name than the rest of the family? Maybe if the girls had the same dad and thus same (different) last name, it would make some sense but why should Stella have the name of a guy she literally never sees? And maybe wait and see if Devoin keeps it up first, considering he didn't do that much for years.Who says Nova even wants her name changed?? 

Couldn’t agree more, it’s so dumb and unnecessary atm. Both girls should have Briana’s name or else hyphenated names. Why confuse a child like this. And it’s not like Devoin requested it. Briana & her great ideas. 

I thought Leah & Jenelle looked really pretty this episode. Andrew and his friend seemed like typical drug users, Andrew is full of shit too. From next weeks preview it looks like he doesn’t even show up to meet with Barb. 

Chelsea asking Cole if her outfit was “sexual” in front of her preteen daughter, and Coles response rating her “hotness”.   Ammm Inappropriate much??! The adult conversations in front of Aubree make me mad, it won’t be long before she’s into adolescence, let her be a child while she can. 

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11 hours ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

I think the coven must have signed a 112 month lease on that apartment.

And subscription service that delivers white sports bras every month. 

10 hours ago, edie3 said:

Wasn't Andrew a model?  And what was wrong with Nova's teeth?  Must have been pretty bad.  I'm thinking cavities.

She likely had a pretty bad cavity. My daughter had oral surgery to remove an abscessed tooth. When telling people, I instantly imagined everyone was judging me as a mom who gave my kids tons of sugar and never made her brush her teeth. 

The reality is, she has special needs and extreme sensory issues. Because of this, brushing teeth has always been a challenge. And she refuses the x-ray at the doctor's office. Well, she tries; but she ends up gagging and choking so badly. They can never get it done. So over the summer she had a small cavity that was missed because we didn't get the x-ray. It ended up growing really quickly and she developed this huge abscess out of nowhere, right before Christmas. The dentist determined the best course of action would be to bring her in to the hospital. By putting her under, they were able to not only remove the offending tooth (which they'll often do with baby cavities, because they'd fall out anyway); but they were also able to FINALLY get some x-rays done, clear up any other issues, and give her teeth a good sealant. 

Honestly, sometimes with kids it's just better to take the tooth out. I'm not sure what Nova's issue is, but needing oral surgery so young doesn't always mean poor dental care. 

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Briana just annoys me.  One doesn't just change a kid's name on a whim.  Ask Chelsea.  There are court orders involved.  She seriously thinks everything is like Burger King, you can just drive up, put your order in for a medium fry, a Diet Coke, and child support order and a quick birth certificate amendment.  Sheesh.  There are so many holes here ... like was DeVoin even listed on the original?  Does he want to be listed on it?  Does he understand that he's now legally responsible for child support and can incur any civil and criminal penalties for *not* paying court ordered child support?  These people ...

And what are you going on vacation *from*?  

Kail continues to be mad at the world for the mere reason that she exists and she's in it.  Javi is petty/dumb/both for not giving the coaches her contact info, especially in a world where youth coaches are mandatory reporters.  I mean, I get the impulse not to want to inflict Kail on people you know and like, but still, if you're expecting her to pick your kid up, coach should have her contact info.  Oh and Kail, yeah, his meeting with the town about this new business *is* important.  Unless, of course, you want him waiting another six months to open.  Zoning and licensing officials don't care about your podcast.

Chelsea continues to be boring and annoy me by wearing a toque indoors.  Your kids aren't wearing socks, Chelsea. It's not that cold in your house.  The hat is purely aesthetic and looks like the reservoir tip on a condom, which is some ironic symbology right there.

Janelle ... whatever.  I feel terrible for Jace, he has a shitbag mother who birthed him out of spite, a junky father and literally no escape from the turmoil of the Evans household.  Poor kid. 

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13 hours ago, Lm2162 said:

"So we don't end up like you did." OOOHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIT 

That was savage and I'm here for it!!

That awful hole in Jenelle's face!  Everyone who wants to get their face pierced should take note.

Lauren is pathetic to me and Javi's tattoos look terrible.

Andrew's "Is he smart" was very Forrest Gump of him. 

Edited by Emkat
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13 hours ago, edie3 said:

Wasn't Andrew a model?  And what was wrong with Nova's teeth?  Must have been pretty bad.  I'm thinking cavities.

If Andrew was a model, well, so am I. I mean, I've had my picture taken.

I'm worried that Leah and Briana take their kids to one of those shady chain pediatric dentists--the ones that spring up in poorer areas and do all kinds of treatments on kids that they can bill back to medicaid. They're doing extractions and root canals and putting caps on baby teeth. I wondered it last week when Ali had to have an extraction, and now Nova needs a (no doubt expensive) procedure? I see these clinics popping up like mushrooms in my area and some of them are sharks. Not to say that some of these treatments/procedures aren't necessary in some cases, but I don't see either Leah or Briana educating themselves or seeking a second opinion.

http://www.insurancefraud.org/article.htm?RecID=3398

https://publicintegrity.org/health/evidence-of-overtreatment-at-dental-clinics-serving-poor-children/

https://www.cheatsheet.com/health-fitness/signs-your-dentist-is-ripping-you-off.html/

10 hours ago, eskimo said:

I can't believe we've made it this far down the page without any commentary on Andrew's friends hat.  Is that a thing now?  It looked Photoshopped on at first.  It looked like it was six sizes too big, but wasn't moving around like an upside-down salad bowl on top of his head, like you'd expect such an oversized hat to do.  I was thinking maybe it had some sort of support system under it to hold it in place?  Like a plastic part that forms to his head, and attaches to the hat, so that his head and outer shell of the cap don't actually touch?  I don't know what the hell was up, but it bothered me.  In case you couldn't tell.  Lol  

So Andrew bails on Jace, leaves the state, and they are keeping Jace from him?  Jace has been where he's always been.  Please go fuck yourself, Andrew. 

I see zero chemistry between Leah and her man.  It just comes off as very father/daughter like to me. 

Kail.  She gets more insufferable every episode.  How low can she go?  I have a feeling we will see. 

I derived a great deal of enjoyment from Andrew's friend's hat.

Dear god Kail is such a truculent, sour hag.

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I never, ever, ever agree with Jenelle on anything, but I'm with her on this Andrew. Like someone above said, he reeks of bad decisions. As soon as I saw him looking all shady and like he seriously likes a good high and the person he was with, I was like, okay. No, ma'am. There's no question those two get up to no good together. I think he sees Jenelle living on The Land, traveling several times a year, etc., and he wants in on that MTV money. I pray, however, that Jace and he never meet because he's bad news.

That was a sad tale, though, about how Jace reacted seeing Kaiser with Nathan and his family. And it was more the joy and love that Kaiser feels when he's with him that made Jace sad. He's happy at home with Barbara but when he has to go to The Land, it's not going to a happy place. Plus Kaiser is older and probably more fun to hang with now. 

Love that Leah's kids know she's not an example to be followed.

Good that Chelsea is doing some one-on-one fun things with Aubree. 

Kudos to whomever said that Brianna et al must have a 100+ month lease. Maybe, though, they are saving to buy a really nice three-family type house. They could at least get a bigger flat, though. Brianna also really is dumb isn't she? I laughed when she asked why Nova would feel the name change most and Devon had to explain that she writes her name on a piece of paper every day. What a dummy. And why does she allow herself to look so filthy on TV? Poor girl.

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1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

If Andrew was a model, well, so am I. I mean, I've had my picture taken.

I bet he was a model for a VD campaign poster. 

16 minutes ago, politichick said:

That was a sad tale, though, about how Jace reacted seeing Kaiser with Nathan and his family. And it was more the joy and love that Kaiser feels when he's with him that made Jace sad. He's happy at home with Barbara but when he has to go to The Land, it's not going to a happy place. Plus Kaiser is older and probably more fun to hang with now. 

It makes me very sad thinking of Jace alone on the land with those evil adults and just baby Ensley. If Maryssa and Kaiser are both with other family....what a miserable existence that must be. 

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1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

If Andrew was a model, well, so am I. I mean, I've had my picture taken.

I'm worried that Leah and Briana take their kids to one of those shady chain pediatric dentists--the ones that spring up in poorer areas and do all kinds of treatments on kids that they can bill back to medicaid. They're doing extractions and root canals and putting caps on baby teeth. I wondered it last week when Ali had to have an extraction, and now Nova needs a (no doubt expensive) procedure? I see these clinics popping up like mushrooms in my area and some of them are sharks. Not to say that some of these treatments/procedures aren't necessary in some cases, but I don't see either Leah or Briana educating themselves or seeking a second opinion.

http://www.insurancefraud.org/article.htm?RecID=3398

https://publicintegrity.org/health/evidence-of-overtreatment-at-dental-clinics-serving-poor-children/

https://www.cheatsheet.com/health-fitness/signs-your-dentist-is-ripping-you-off.html/

I derived a great deal of enjoyment from Andrew's friend's hat.

Dear god Kail is such a truculent, sour hag.

My mother was a dental hygienist in her younger years. While she was in school, they used to send the students out to "Medicaid Mills" to do part of their training. At one place, my mother complained to the office manager that they weren't being allotted sufficient time to do the cleanings and was told "Just scrape what you can, we don't expect you to get everything." While she was doing another cleaning, an already loose baby tooth came out and the dentist billed it as an extraction. This was in the early 70s, so I can only imagine how out of control it is now. 

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4 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

My mother was a dental hygienist in her younger years. While she was in school, they used to send the students out to "Medicaid Mills" to do part of their training. At one place, my mother complained to the office manager that they weren't being allotted sufficient time to do the cleanings and was told "Just scrape what you can, we don't expect you to get everything." While she was doing another cleaning, an already loose baby tooth came out and the dentist billed it as an extraction. This was in the early 70s, so I can only imagine how out of control it is now. 

Wow, that is terrible. I saw a feature on those clinics on 60 Minutes or somewhere a few years ago, and I see them everywhere now. Not too long ago a 3 year old died under anesthesia:

https://www.today.com/health/children-being-sedated-dentistry-practice-now-under-new-scrutiny-t113039

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4 hours ago, Emkat said:

Andrew's "Is he smart" was very Forrest Gump of him. 

Yes! I was going to say the same thing. I wanted him to finish the quote, “Is he smart, or is he like...*grabs chest and begins sobbing*”

At this point, I’m willing to tell Jace that his dad went away to live on a farm where he gets lots of exercise and gets to run and play with all the other models.

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3 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

If Andrew was a model, well, so am I. I mean, I've had my picture taken.

I'm worried that Leah and Briana take their kids to one of those shady chain pediatric dentists--the ones that spring up in poorer areas and do all kinds of treatments on kids that they can bill back to medicaid. They're doing extractions and root canals and putting caps on baby teeth. I wondered it last week when Ali had to have an extraction, and now Nova needs a (no doubt expensive) procedure? I see these clinics popping up like mushrooms in my area and some of them are sharks. Not to say that some of these treatments/procedures aren't necessary in some cases, but I don't see either Leah or Briana educating themselves or seeking a second opinion.

http://www.insurancefraud.org/article.htm?RecID=3398

https://publicintegrity.org/health/evidence-of-overtreatment-at-dental-clinics-serving-poor-children/

https://www.cheatsheet.com/health-fitness/signs-your-dentist-is-ripping-you-off.html/

I derived a great deal of enjoyment from Andrew's friend's hat.

Dear god Kail is such a truculent, sour hag.

With the money Briana now makes from the show, plus her regular job, I doubt she qualifies for Medicaid.

Edited by DangerousMinds
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22 minutes ago, Mothra said:

Leah is an asshole who tries hard to be a flirt like Briana but is just an amateur.  I hated that she wouldn't leave the girlses alone to do their homework so she could lecture them about how important education is.

She basically made the entire episode a big tribute to how gung-ho about education she is. What a joke. The girlses already know the score. They're getting good grades so they can GTFO of there. 

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4 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

With the money Briana now makes from the show, plus her regular job, I doubt she still gets Medicaid.

Yes, I'm aware of that. But if she has dental insurance? Or if she'll pay out of pocket? I'm sure the scamming clinic won't care either way. Their aim is to upsell and do useless procedures to fatten their bottom line.

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