19 Things I Hate About You: How the Duggars Infuriate

[Churchhoney]

I really figured Josh would end up in Chicago at Gothard Command Central. But I thought he'd be headed that way before now, so maybe not. What else will he do??? Almost any oath he chooses would require some collage and some OJT, and he's got 4 children now, so how can that even happen? The girls seemed to think he was the whiz-bang at designing their invitations - maybe graphic design?

Dang, after posting, I realized I wasn't on the right thread (again!). I was just following the discussion, didn't even think about watching for where I was typing. Sorry!

 

Don't feel bad. I'd say that "Josh," "Gothard Command Center" and family claims that Duggarlings are brilliant practitioners of skills like graphic design are definitely "Things About the Duggars that Get on [a Lot of People's] Nerves."

[GEML]

I figure it's six months before Josh goes anywhere. The Duggars need to figure out what they are going to do with their, um, "ministry" and Jessa has her baby due in November. Anna needs some time to recover. Unless there is some new story to come out (such as an actual lawsuit) then at some point, Josh does move into a job within IBLP (which, in my opinion, is partly responsible for why he wasn't given real help in the first place) and his and Anna's lives go on, but much quieter than before. But he'll be ok.

[MichellesRobocall]

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong thread (maybe it should be in religion?) but I am kind of disgusted with the way the Duggars ask for "love offerings." I work at a small-town newspaper and do the church announcements, and I constantly have to write that people will accept "love offerings." I have no idea why this bothers me so much. Maybe it's that I'm a journalist and prefer straightforward language, and I think "donations" would be fine. 

 

The flowery language really bothers me. I also hate the use of "purpose" as a verb and the saying "God laid it on my/our hearts." I was talking about the latter with one of my conservative Christian coworkers (I am a liberal heathen who lives with her boyfriend before marriage, so we always have interesting things to talk about) and I asked him about that. He said some people honestly mean it when they say that but that the Duggars are not included in that group. He called them famewhores and said they use "God laid it on our hearts" as a way to justify their awful decisions. 

[magpye29]

Here's what gets on my nerves:  I've never watched one minute of this show, but am now completely obsessed with it because you all make such smart, well thought-out posts about an issue that resonates deeply with me.  I enjoy reading everything you all write, but I can only pick out JB and J'C from a line-up because of your posts.  I always feel kind of like I'm staring at a fatal car crash, though.

[Barb23]

Regarding the "dating" issue, which gets on my nerves. I came across a cute pink onesie in a gift catalog. On the front it says "I'm not allowed to date ...ever." The first thing that came to mind was the Duggar girls & too bad it only came in baby sizes.

[Happyfatchick]

riverblue22, on 10 Aug 2015 - 6:21 PM, said:

But if the show continued it would just perpetuate the myth that you can afford to raise a family of 19 kids. There are already enough families who have bought into this (the Rodrigues family, for example) and the truth is it is very difficult to afford this lifestyle. The sooner that message gets out the better.

EXACTY!!!!!

I always was horrified by the idea that young fundie girls would be totally enamored with the Duggar family. That young, insulated girls would see what the Duggs portrayed as normal or achievable. Once I started venturing from this forum to the Duggar's website and instagram pics and read the comments, I found my concerns to be justified. The charade they put in front of America (targeting, in my opinion) targeting those fragile teenagers being brought up in that magical nonsense world of the fundamentalist movement is mindboggling. I think it's almost a criminal representation of what will be in your future if you embrace that lifestyle. You're obviously going to grow up to be beautiful like the Duggar sisters. Or oh-so-loved like Priscilla Waller. Or amazingly talented AND beautiful (with boppy curls!) like Erin who's not a Bates any more. There were no real struggles listed. No real goals to be achieved (unless you count aiming for cats with a sled "training" for an Olympic event). Seriously, there are NO overachievers in these families. Yes, the Bates' have stronger ambitions, and seem to be fine people. But there are no presidential candidates, no Rhodes scholars, no nurses, doctors, lawyers or even licensed hairdressers, mechanics, real firefighters, engineers. There are no WAGE EARNERS. It boils my blood to think that immature young girls watch this hokey pokey and BELIEVE that the life of constant childbirth, making home lovely and peaceful, while never giving a thought to buying anything can actually be theirs, based on the DUGGARS. There's never been a show about having to sell a loved item to purchase a necessity. Never been a show featuring the Duggars digging between couch cushions or under car seats for change. Never been a show displaying any of them crying until their eyeballs want to pop out over the loss of a pet, or over being denied doing something for lack of money, or being humiliated in the least because someone felt sorry for them and provided groceries. Never been a show describing how horrible it is to be the 5th girl down wearing hand-me-downs. We've seen them have the occasional hardship (something about a camper breaking down comes to mind...). The Duggs ALWAYS come out ahead. Someone ALWAYS gives them stuff. Who's going to DO that for these little girls believing that life is the LIFE???

It's not reality!!! Giving birth to 19 children (or even THREE, two or ONE child, if you have no means of support) is not is not is NOT practical, realistic or responsible and should NEVER have been highlighted or condoned. There ought to have been a surgeon general's warning as a disclaimer at the very least. If TLC had taken the truthful route, they WOULD have been filming the Rodgrigues family. I'm guessing their living situation is far closer to the norm with 19 children and no money. The Duggars are not REAL representation.

This whole subject makes that mean little guy (the one who lives behind my eyeballs and delivers a headache when I cry or get way overstressed) poke my brain with his itty bitty pitchfork and laugh.

[Wellfleet]

riverblue22, on 10 Aug 2015 - 6:21 PM, said:

But if the show continued it would just perpetuate the myth that you can afford to raise a family of 19 kids. There are already enough families who have bought into this (the Rodrigues family, for example) and the truth is it is very difficult to afford this lifestyle. The sooner that message gets out the better.

EXACTY!!!!!

I always was horrified by the idea that young fundie girls would be totally enamored with the Duggar family. That young, insulated girls would see what the Duggs portrayed as normal or achievable. Once I started venturing from this forum to the Duggar's website and instagram pics and read the comments, I found my concerns to be justified. The charade they put in front of America (targeting, in my opinion) targeting those fragile teenagers being brought up in that magical nonsense world of the fundamentalist movement is mindboggling. I think it's almost a criminal representation of what will be in your future if you embrace that lifestyle. You're obviously going to grow up to be beautiful like the Duggar sisters. Or oh-so-loved like Priscilla Waller. Or amazingly talented AND beautiful (with boppy curls!) like Erin who's not a Bates any more. There were no real struggles listed. No real goals to be achieved (unless you count aiming for cats with a sled "training" for an Olympic event). Seriously, there are NO overachievers in these families. Yes, the Bates' have stronger ambitions, and seem to be fine people. But there are no presidential candidates, no Rhodes scholars, no nurses, doctors, lawyers or even licensed hairdressers, mechanics, real firefighters, engineers. There are no WAGE EARNERS. It boils my blood to think that immature young girls watch this hokey pokey and BELIEVE that the life of constant childbirth, making home lovely and peaceful, while never giving a thought to buying anything can actually be theirs, based on the DUGGARS. There's never been a show about having to sell a loved item to purchase a necessity. Never been a show featuring the Duggars digging between couch cushions or under car seats for change. Never been a show displaying any of them crying until their eyeballs want to pop out over the loss of a pet, or over being denied doing something for lack of money, or being humiliated in the least because someone felt sorry for them and provided groceries. Never been a show describing how horrible it is to be the 5th girl down wearing hand-me-downs. We've seen them have the occasional hardship (something about a camper breaking down comes to mind...). The Duggs ALWAYS come out ahead. Someone ALWAYS gives them stuff. Who's going to DO that for these little girls believing that life is the LIFE???

It's not reality!!! Giving birth to 19 children (or even THREE, two or ONE child, if you have no means of support) is not is not is NOT practical, realistic or responsible and should NEVER have been highlighted or condoned. There ought to have been a surgeon general's warning as a disclaimer at the very least. If TLC had taken the truthful route, they WOULD have been filming the Rodgrigues family. I'm guessing their living situation is far closer to the norm with 19 children and no money. The Duggars are not REAL representation.

This whole subject makes that mean little guy (the one who lives behind my eyeballs and delivers a headache when I cry or get way overstressed) poke my brain with his itty bitty pitchfork and laugh.

 

OMG, happy, perfectly spot-on! Perfectly! Your post makes me SO wish we could get the management of these networks, not just TLC, up on display somewhere - similar to the recent Republican Presidential "debate" - and ask them questions about what and why they offer what they do to the American public. We know the answers in most cases, but I'd love to see them try to justify some of the unpardonable dreck they broadcast. I'm not for a minute suggesting that everything on TV has to be PBS-level quality, but surely there are better things to see, with positive and constructive messages behind them, than what we're currently getting.

[Sew Sumi]

Jessa has been the appointed Duggar spokesperson in terms of religion. And as we've seen, it's one-note garbage with no proof of critical thinking skills. 

[Defrauder]

I'm trying hard to think of something about the Duggars that doesn't get on my nerves.  

[becca3891]

I'm trying hard to think of something about the Duggars that doesn't get on my nerves.  

We could have had a much shorter thread if it had been named "Things About the Duggars That Don't Get On Your Nerves!" Wayyyy shorter. The only things I can think of, I only partially approve of because of the evangelism component. The prison ministry that Pa Keller does, I love the idea of, but would prefer it without the bible featuring so prominently.

[Barbie]

"Things About the Duggars That Don't Get On Your Nerves!"

 

it would be the only empty thread here... 

[galax-arena]

"Things About the Duggars That Don't Get On Your Nerves!"

They introduced me to cucumbers with salt and vinegar. Pretty tasty tbh, and much less guilt than salt and vinegar potato chips. 

 

That's the only thing I can think of. 

[Aja]

They make me appreciate sane people more.

Edited August 13, 2015 by Aja

[Defrauder]

They introduced me to cucumbers with salt and vinegar. Pretty tasty tbh, and much less guilt than salt and vinegar potato chips. 

 

That's the only thing I can think of. 

That's a good one!

They make me appreciate sane people more.

Priceless!

[JoanArc]

 

They introduced me to cucumbers with salt and vinegar

Ah yes, unfermented pickles.

[galax-arena]

I mean, that's kind of an oxymoron lmao. 

 

I like fermented foods, but fresh cucumbers are so, well, refreshing. 

 

ETA: As long as you don't completely overload it with salt, anyway. 

Edited August 13, 2015 by galax-arena

[JenCarroll]

Here's what gets on my nerves:  I've never watched one minute of this show, but am now completely obsessed with it because you all make such smart, well thought-out posts about an issue that resonates deeply with me.  I enjoy reading everything you all write, but I can only pick out JB and J'C from a line-up because of your posts.  I always feel kind of like I'm staring at a fatal car crash, though.

Yeah, I'm in the car crash crowd too. I had actually seen them in magazines and was wondering who the hell they were. Went online to look them up and ended up HERE, so that's one good thing I can say about the Duggars -- they brought me to the Boards. :-) I read the forums here before ever watching an episode, then watched a few of them. Frankly, even before the molestation scandal, they gave me a very "off" vibe.

[Defrauder]

1. The passing off of babies as buddies to the next in line.

2.  Michelle's 3 year old baby girl voice.

3.  The 3 year old voice making robo-calls warning people about transgenders being child molesters.

4.  The Duggars believing that people who don't believe what they believe in are damned to hell for all eternity,

5.  The $250,000 Senate Campaign God supposedly wanted JB to run for and lost instead of providing for his family. 

6.  JB not explaining why he lost a campaign that he said God wanted him to run for.

7. Michelle's missing, and then not missing, back muscle.

8.  The forced shared communication with parents and chaperones when adults are courting,

9.  Michelle skating backwards to the YMCA song.

10.  The constant plea for donations.

11.  The 'bikini' incident that makes no sense in any way,

12.  The gross golf course incident where JB dry humps Michelle from the back in front of his daughter, and all of us.

13.  Weird vocabulary, defraud, purpose, Nike....

14.  Expecting your children to build a house that you can't even build.

15.  JB's self righteous, arrogant, cheap, better than the rest attitude,

16.  Michelle's gazing adoringly at this guy who kept her in a 3 bedroom house with 14 kids for years.

17.  JB & Michelle thinking that their children are really all stamps of approval and rewards from God for their moral greatness.

18.  Confusing being arrogant and self righteous with being humble.

19.  Expecting the children to raise each other and then forcing them to submit their lives to the parents authority. ?

[NEGirl]

Defrauder - That about covers everything !

[kokapetl]

Their soft drink fountain bugs me. They allegedly don't use it anymore, but was having one ever a good idea? And the cluster of dirty cups with names on them sitting in front, that's not really hygienic, and why is this the one thing aren't throwing away after every use?

Edited August 15, 2015 by Kokapetl

[becca3891]

Their soft drink fountain bugs me. They allegedly don't use it anymore, but was having one ever a good idea? And the cluster of dirty cups with names on them sitting in front, that's not really hygienic, and why is this the one thing aren't throwing away after every use?

Their upkeep of it probably wasn't hygienic. I'm wondering if they got it as some kind of advertising perk, and used it when they used to host "church" in their house before it moved to the warehouse. I'll admit it's practical for a crowd, and while of course they don't need soda on a daily basis, anything is fine in moderation. Couldn't be worse for them than the other processed junk they consume.

[GeeGolly]

In addition to a zillion things, why didn't they make bedroom suites? Like have two rooms with a bathroom in the middle. One on the boys side of the house and one for the girls. Why did they have to cram them all into one boys room and one girls room? Did they really need all those nook & cranny rooms, like the prayer closet, hallway school room, and media room?

 

Even for resale, nobody will want that much square footage with only three bedrooms.

[mimionthebeach]

In addition to a zillion things, why didn't they make bedroom suites? Like have two rooms with a bathroom in the middle. One on the boys side of the house and one for the girls. Why did they have to cram them all into one boys room and one girls room? Did they really need all those nook & cranny rooms, like the prayer closet, hallway school room, and media room?

Even for resale, nobody will want that much square footage with only three bedrooms.

I really think keeping all the kids in two bedrooms was their attempt to curtail Josh's nocturnal predations. All the girls could look out for each other (in case someone forgot to lock the door) and Josh would have to climb over random floor-sleeping howlers to leave his room. Although, based on the family's account, they're all incredibly sound sleepers.

I also don't imagine they've ever conjured up the idea of resale value. With 300 grandchildren they'll always need all that space. I'll bet Jim Bob had never fathomed a world without Jim Bob.

[Defrauder]

It's so extremely insensitive of JB & Mechelle to put all of the girls in one room and all of the boys in another room.  You've got young children sleeping in the same room as grown adults.  I believe they did that so the young children couldn't bother them at night while they were being fruitful and multiplying.  There were always at least 2 or 3 adults sleeping in the children's room with them if they needed anything.  Always a sibling parent to take care of them. Plus of course the Josh reason.

Edited August 19, 2015 by Defrauder

[kokapetl]

It's really a poorly designed house for 19 people. The entire second floor is loft style, and the dormers are only on the south facing side. The end bedrooms each have either an east or west facing window, and a south facing dormer window. It would be very difficult to split the bedrooms up. The girls room in particular has an area with less than full height ceiling. All of their second floor office/closets/"studios" etc have no external windows, and most of have ceilings that aren't full height. The second floor has less than half the space than the ground floor.

[Wellfleet]

In addition to a zillion things, why didn't they make bedroom suites? Like have two rooms with a bathroom in the middle. One on the boys side of the house and one for the girls. Why did they have to cram them all into one boys room and one girls room? Did they really need all those nook & cranny rooms, like the prayer closet, hallway school room, and media room?

 

Even for resale, nobody will want that much square footage with only three bedrooms.

 

When it sells, it doesn't seem like it'll be as a family home. I see it becoming, with a few alterations, office or storage space. It would require A LOT to make it into a sensible and comfortable family home, for an average-size family especially.

[Joe Jitsu913]

I think the house will stay within the family for many more years after Boob and Mullet pass. It will probably be handed down to Chester Molester and his family.

[Wellfleet]

I think the house will stay within the family for many more years after Boob and Mullet pass. It will probably be handed down to Chester Molester and his family.

 

Yep, if the family keeps this property long term, it does seem like the Heir Apparent will get it. But I really wonder if how many of the kids will have homes there - my guess is not nearly as many as Boob expects. And maybe none.

Edited August 20, 2015 by Wellfleet

[Chai]

I love all the posts! so thoughtful and so true. I 've had much the same thoughts myself. 

 

I don't think they even would be living in a house if TLC didn't save them. They finished the TTH house and redecorated it for them. How nice, but not what the average joe would get! I loved the beautiful decorations provided from that and I cringed when they took it down. Why throw something you couldn't afford away? (eg girls room mural) Maybe they wanted to change it, but I bet it was written in their contracts that it had to stay that way for X amount of years to get it for free.

And so, it was very unchristian in my mind to gleefully paint over something you received for free!

[Defrauder]

19 Apologies and Counting.

[MichellesRobocall]

I was watching Jill's birth special with my boyfriend and he was silent for the whole thing. When it was over he paused and said, "Fun game. Rewatch that show and count how many times they use words with  more than three syllables." 

 

We did. The vocabulary of these people is seriously limited.

[LilyoftheValley]

I was watching Jill's birth special with my boyfriend and he was silent for the whole thing. When it was over he paused and said, "Fun game. Rewatch that show and count how many times they use words with  more than three syllables." 

 

We did. The vocabulary of these people is seriously limited.

Really?  That was neat.  

[ChocolateAddict]

I was watching Jill's birth special with my boyfriend and he was silent for the whole thing. When it was over he paused and said, "Fun game. Rewatch that show and count how many times they use words with  more than three syllables." 

 

We did. The vocabulary of these people is seriously limited.

I'm so thrilled for you that you could spend such precious, special time in fellowship with your boyfriend (subtext - you hussy, how dare you even think about spending time alone with him before marriage).  

 

I think that those are the most complicated words I have heard the Duggar's say and they clearly make up for it by using them in every second sentence.  

[Liz Tudor]

I was watching Jill's birth special with my boyfriend and he was silent for the whole thing. When it was over he paused and said, "Fun game. Rewatch that show and count how many times they use words with  more than three syllables." 

 

We did. The vocabulary of these people is seriously limited.

To be able to do that had to be a neat, sweet, precious blessing.

[kokapetl]

"Surreal" was Jill's favorite word in the last season.

[Churchhoney]

"Surreal" was Jill's favorite word in the last season.

 

Well, she got that right.

 

It's like she was clairvoyant or something.

Edited August 25, 2015 by Churchhoney

[JenCarroll]

To be able to do that had to be a neat, sweet, precious blessing.

We should totally purpose to do more of that.

[Joe Jitsu913]

What a surreal season of life this has been.

[cmr2014]

I was watching Jill's birth special with my boyfriend and he was silent for the whole thing. When it was over he paused and said, "Fun game. Rewatch that show and count how many times they use words with  more than three syllables." 

 

We did. The vocabulary of these people is seriously limited.

I was just thinking about that today. I am learning a second language and am doing a lot of reading trying to build my vocabulary. It occurred to me that the Duggars appear to have the vocabulary skills of a grade-schooler -- maybe 5-8,000 words. One of the ways that you build vocabulary is by reading -- especially fiction -- which, of course, the Duggars don't do.

 

I have purchased movies and television shows dubbed into my new language. I personally know many non-native English speakers who are very fluent and who have told me that they learned English watching television. The Duggars, of course, don't watch TV.

 

And, of course, I take classes and speak to others in my new language. The Duggars, of course, intentonally isolted themselves from the outside world. And if they do interact with others, it is to preach to them, not to listen or communicate with them.

 

It's entirely possible that the reason that they keep repeating the same few words over and over again, is because they literally do not know any others.

 

Here is some info from an article I found on-line:

http://www.economist.com/blogs/johnson/2013/05/vocabulary-size

[Wellfleet]

I was just thinking about that today. I am learning a second language and am doing a lot of reading trying to build my vocabulary. It occurred to me that the Duggars appear to have the vocabulary skills of a grade-schooler -- maybe 5-8,000 words. One of the ways that you build vocabulary is by reading -- especially fiction -- which, of course, the Duggars don't do.

 

I have purchased movies and television shows dubbed into my new language. I personally know many non-native English speakers who are very fluent and who have told me that they learned English watching television. The Duggars, of course, don't watch TV.

 

And, of course, I take classes and speak to others in my new language. The Duggars, of course, intentonally isolted themselves from the outside world. And if they do interact with others, it is to preach to them, not to listen or communicate with them.

 

It's entirely possible that the reason that they keep repeating the same few words over and over again, is because they literally do not know any others.

 

Here is some info from an article I found on-line:

http://www.economist.com/blogs/johnson/2013/05/vocabulary-size

 

The Economist deal was fun. Highly recommend it. I tested out at just under 30K words [29, 900]. PS - I was amazed at all of the words on the second page that I'd never heard of!

[Julia]

The thing is, though, an awful lot of words are in the Bible.

It's practically as if they don't actually read the Bible, just some snake oil salesman's pamphlets about the Bible.

[Jynnan tonnix]

I tested at around 32,400 words...which actually disappointed me just a bit, since vocabulary has always been a strong point for me. But, yeah, a pretty large proportion of the words on that third page was completely unfamiliar. That was humbling!

Edited August 25, 2015 by Jynnan tonnix

[kokapetl]

English has a ton of unnecessarily complicated words. Know it all English Renaissance men were Hellenophiles, so Greek-ish words like 'Hellenophile' proliferated. There were similar attitudes to Rome, Latin and a particular successor language French, so someone added the s to the world island, to make it match up with French loan word "isle". The modern French word for "isle" is "île".

The KJV bible is a stupid choice in this day and age. The Duggars barely speak English, there's no way they also speak/understand a particularly archaic 17th century English used in a translation of the bible that contains a ton of words literally translated. Maybe that's why their bibles have half a page of fine print footnotes on each page.

Edited August 25, 2015 by Kokapetl

[Churchhoney]

English has a ton of unnecessarily complicated words. Know it all English Renaissance men were Hellenophiles, so Greek-ish words like 'Hellenophile' proliferated. There were similar attitudes to Rome, Latin and a particular successor language French, so someone added the s to the world island, to make it match up with French loan word "isle". The modern French word for "isle" is "île".

The KJV bible is a stupid choice in this day and age. The Duggars barely speak English, there's no way they also speak/understand a particularly archaic 17th century English used in a translation of the bible that contains a ton of words literally translated. Maybe that's why their bibles have half a page of fine print footnotes on each page.

 

The Duggars and footnotes. Yeah, they'll read those. uh-huh.

[Wellfleet]

The thing is, though, an awful lot of words are in the Bible.

It's practically as if they don't actually read the Bible, just some snake oil salesman's pamphlets about the Bible.

 

I could totally see the Duggars doing this. They take the lazier way with everything else - why not for this? Cliff Notes for the Bible. Good grief...

[bigskygirl]

Today is Women Equality Day. Too bad the women in the family except for Michelle do not know what equality is.

[MargeGunderson]

I took the vocab quiz (fun!) and thanks to the Duggars the first definition that came to mind for visage was countenance. Duggars - unintentionally improving the vocabulary of others!

[SomePity1066]

cmr2014 - Thank you for posting the vocabulary test ! I came in at exactly 30,000, which I assume was good, but bow to Jynnan tonnix on his/her results !

 

I would LOVE to see the average Duggar vocab numbers. If someone with more know-how, intelligence, and patience than me ran a transcript of their show through a computer program designed to do word counts I'd bet my life that it didn't register above 7,500, which would be average for a middle schooler. It's just shameful how they treat their childrens' education like it was optional.

[kandinski]

Well I just took the test,I didnt see the words "precious" and "nike" there though.

[mbutterfly]

English has a ton of unnecessarily complicated words. Know it all English Renaissance men were Hellenophiles, so Greek-ish words like 'Hellenophile' proliferated. There were similar attitudes to Rome, Latin and a particular successor language French, so someone added the s to the world island, to make it match up with French loan word "isle". The modern French word for "isle" is "île".

The KJV bible is a stupid choice in this day and age. The Duggars barely speak English, there's no way they also speak/understand a particularly archaic 17th century English used in a translation of the bible that contains a ton of words literally translated. Maybe that's why their bibles have half a page of fine print footnotes on each page.

I teach a large women's Bible study group. I encourage the women to bring whatever Bible Version they choose. Sometimes, I share with them why Version A goes one way with a passage and Version B goes another way (and usually why there is some merit in both because the original was ambiguous). Any way I have one woman who uses KJV and it is clearly difficult for her to read aloud and with meaning from it. And she has a college degree from a real university. I can't imagine how the Duggars would struggle if you gave them a passage that wasn't one they hang on their walls.