19 Things I Hate About You: How the Duggars Infuriate

[Chicklet]

Why doesn't she hug or touch her kids? Hmm she's mentally damaged? She's had way too many kids, lost her mind, and withdrew in every way. If you had JBlob hugging and kissing on you, you probably wouldn't want to hug or kiss anyone else either. She can't bond to any child over the age of 6 months since she pawned all of them off to their older siblings.? I think the only children she actually bonded to were Smugger, being the first, and Josie, the child she was stuck with in the NICU.

Just my wild guesses.

Edited June 15, 2014 by Chicklet

[WhitneyWhit]

Why doesn't Michelle hug or touch her children?

 

Because she has no motherly bond with them to speak of?  Honestly, I've never seen a mother seem so distant when it comes to her children, she truly knows nothing about them.  Even more annoying than the cold side-hugs are the vague, generic descriptions of her children: "She's kind:, "She has a heart for fellowship", and my personal favorite "she's a good packer" -- for a family that literally spends every waking moment together, they have absolutely nothing of substance to say about each other.

I think this is what separates Michelle and Kelly Bates; Michelle wants babies, while Kelly actually wants children. When Kelly had to describe her children, she actually described them, I got a sense of her as a mother, something I've never done with Michelle.

and Josie, the child she was stuck with in the NICU.

 

I don't think she bonded with Josie in the slightest. The poor thing went from "our latest precious miracle" to just another chick on the farm. Witness the episode where they paid a visit to the NICU and when Michelle was informed that someone wanted to meet her, she dropped Josie in Jill's lap and took off like a streak of lighting, precious miracle be damned, her public awaits!

Edited June 15, 2014 by WhitneyWhit

[PecanSandie]

Thank you for the replies. I wish I could stop thinking about her coldness to those little children because it makes me sad.

[Ripley68]

I've been watching her in old episodes, and she does usually seem to be holding a child in most of them. 

[Joe Jitsu913]

Isn't there some Gothardite rule that a wife must be her husband's best friend and not emotionally close with her kids? Something to that effect. The husband and wife must be bonded to each other and the children are just an afterthought? I swear I read that somewhere.

[floridamom]

Ripley 68: sadly the child you have seen Michelle hold in earlier episodes was her "buddy", ie, the most recent born. Once weaned, those "precious babies" were tossed on the pile with the rest of them..they were then Jana's problem. Michelle interacts with Josie because she's the Last of the Mohicans.(I hope I spelled that right.)

[RedheadZombie]

I have never been a fan of the older girls raising the younger... But this is a new low. I just started reading "growing up duggar" (don't judge me I needed a non text book read)... And within the first chapter they reveal that Jana and Jill sleep in full sized beds with Jordyn and Josie, and the other girls sleep in twin size beds...so now they don't even get their own beds!? Who is going to sleep in Jill's bed after she gets married!?

On one of the most recent episodes I studied the girls dorm. There are five beds for nine girls. There are two full sized beds, one twin, and one set of twin bunk beds. The youngest slept in pack and plays for years.

One of my greatest dislikes is their absolute lack of respect for education. They wallow in their ignorance and are proud of it.

I hate how they raise their sons to believe they bear no responsibility for self-control. Their sisters must control the male exposure to the internet and be on full alert to scream NIKE at any and all provocation - boobs, elbows, calves.

I despise how they wean infants to increase fertility, once again proving they care more about pregnancy than actual children.

Edited June 15, 2014 by RedheadZombie

[PinkSprinkles]

Does anyone know if Anna weans at six months? Also, isn't it recommended to breastfeed for at least a year? 

[Lillybee]

I think that Mullet once said that there was something wrong with either a bone or muscle that precluded her holding kids over six months.

[NikSac]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask this, but it does get on my nerves so maybe it is.

Why doesn't Michelle hug or touch her children?

 

I don't know if this is the actual answer but if it is, it just about makes me gag. "Full frontal" hugs are forbidden when the kids are dating/courting because they might lead to sexual feelings, yes?  Are they afraid of sexual feelings if they were to <gasp> hug their kids?  (like I said, gag, gag, gag!)

[bigskygirl]

I think that Mullet once said that there was something wrong with either a bone or muscle that precluded her holding kids over six months.

Oh pleezee... I have a bad back and cannot lift anything over ten pounds without pain and stiffness. I have a hard time picking up my thirteen pound kitty fur baby sometimes, but I still give it a try to give her a hug and attention. I guess JimBoob dry humping her on a golf course in front of her daughter and suitor while she is slightly bend over trying to swing a golf club does not hurt her, but she cannot give her own children love and attention because she would be in pain. Besides if this was really true, she would try to milk to for all its worth. Lazy, selfish you-know-what.

Edited June 16, 2014 by bigskygirl

[floridamom]

Uh, yeah, the bone in Michelle's body which precludes her from picking up kids older than 6 months ..is her BRAIN. Having delivered children myself, if that "back thing" were true, she wouldn't be able to withstand pregnancy after pregnancy and still be standing. She's full of it, sorry, I don't buy her bull. If frontal hugs are "sexual starters", how does she explain not hugging your own kids or siblings? Are they perverted that they see their own blood family as sexual? I also have wondered just what kind of "sex ed" have the age appropriate sons and daughters been given? From JoyAnna on up, do they know anything other than the parents need to be in the same place for this "miracle"? I refuse to believe that Jana, 24 and John David, 24 are walking around this world and are totally unaware of this process. If you pay attention to these stupid parents and what they have said, that very well may be true. What a shock for Jill to only "need to know " the day before your own wedding then be faced with it? It's an emotional overload for anyone in that circumstance. I still don't know what intellectual stimulation Jill can provide for Derick who has been in regular school, public college and have lived abroad? How are his college friends going to relate to Jill and vice versa? These are some of the things I would like to know. Also, this family really needs to provide the information that ask out here, as WE, the viewers of their show, the posters on their Blog and these sites support this family financially. That brings a certain obligation to the Duggars to pony up some answers and info. Without us and TLC, what would they have done when their old rickety house was going to be torn down? They would STILL be in poverty for Michelle would have all these kids in either circumstance.

[Wordsworth]

I really don't get this. I have a feeling that Smugger just made that last statement up. 

 

 

BollywoodLover, there are gay people who don't believe in gay marriage.  There are black people who don't support Affirmative Action.  There are women who don't support the ERA.  The great thing about this country is that there are lots of different kinds of people, each with their own beliefs that are allowed to be independent of everyone else's...even people who share their race or gender identification. 

 

This means that the Duggar aunt could very well be gay and personally believe that getting married is wrong.   Joshua may not have been making that up.  

[Chicklet]

Evidently there is a proud tradition of voting against your own interests in the GOP for starters, BollywoodLover. People on disability are teaparty minions who go out and protest against government entitlements. Go figure. So why not demonstrate this strange idea in other factions? Im sure this has to do with member of these groups wanting to assure others that they are different but trustworthy and won't try to rock the boat.

[Wordsworth]

Or perhaps those people simply don't believe that certain issues embraced by others within their population segment really are in their best interests....

[PecanSandie]

I think that Mullet once said that there was something wrong with either a bone or muscle that precluded her holding kids over six months.

She is a liar. I saw her on an episode today holding 3 year old Josie.

 

She is just weird about touching most people except Josh or Josie. And she doesn't/didn't show affection to Josh often. She did give him a side hug when he moved.

 

On the re-run where Michelle and older girls went camping with Kelly Bates, Eric was showing her the engagement ring and when Michelle went to touch Erin's hand she grimaced and pulled her hand back like the Wicked Witch of the West trying to touch Dorothy's Ruby Slippers. Except it was obvious she didn't want to touch Erin.

 

In another older episode when she and Jim Bob were visiting Josh and Anna's house, Mckenzie and Michael went running to the door and opened it to Michelle and Jim Bob and Michelle leaned over to say hi and put her hands on her knees instead of reaching out to touch or hug her grandchildren. Michael and McKenzie hung back and didn't try and hug her or reach for her. They all looked very uncomfortable.

Edited June 16, 2014 by PecanSandie

[PinkSprinkles]

I can kind of understand being uncomfortable looking at someone else's engagement ring. Some people have really, really bad taste when it comes to things like that and it can difficult to feign interest if you really hate it. 

 

It reminds me again of poor Anna who got a half carat diamond engagement ring. I know it's shallow, but would it have killed Smuggar to spring for a carat? ETA: I only say this because it seems like the norm for engagement rings to be one carat but YMMV. 

Edited June 17, 2014 by PinkSprinkles

[mimionthebeach]

Jim Boob and Michelle on their own are creepily awkward. He's all over her all the time physically and emotionally and she just goes through the motions like a bad actress.

Also, their matchy shirts. Do they have a schedule or do they discuss it each morning? Is couples dressing in matching clothes a Gothard thing? I noticed TFDW and his precious caged bird do they same thing.

[ramble]

I would be embarrassed if I matched my SO unless it was coordinating for a picture or something else. Although I can't quite fathom the something else. Family reunion designed t-shirts? A joke at a family Christmas party?

I loved matching & near matching my kiddos when they were little until the oldest turned 7 or 8 & asked me to stop. I still do a close match for their required & much maligned yearly picture together. However after the photo shoot I usually return one of the shirts, sweaters or dresses because they don't like to wear anything remotely the same.

Yes, I know I'm bad & the world has influenced me poorly since I return something after a child has worn it 30-45 minutes. I justify that I buy plenty of clothes from the store we usually use. Justification: the evil excuse weak minions like me use to explain away our behavior. I think I'm past the point that any journey or camp can correct me.

Edited June 16, 2014 by ramble

[MrMattyMatt]

They used to outfit the whole tribe of kids in bright red polo shirts and khaki pants and skirts from the thrift store.  J'Chell said this was so they could keep tabs on the them while they were in public.  That ended pretty quickly after they boarded the TLC reality train.

[PinkSprinkles]

One of my professors told me once that it is common in some Hispanic and Latino countries/areas for spouses to match colors (not the exact same shirt, but both spouses wear something blue if they decide on that color that day). He said he and his wife decided to do the same thing. It wasn't creepy or off-putting in the slightest. If I saw her wearing a red dress I could count on him wearing a red shirt or red tie to match her. 

 

That being said, wearing the exact same polo and skirt/trouser color is just downright strange. Anytime I see that I think the people are siblings in town for a family reunion and were being forced to wear their family's "color". 

[mythoughtis]

There's nothing wrong with a half-carat diamond engagement ring (mine is 3/8, and I was the one that selected it once my fiancée proposed).  It's plenty big enough for us middle class folks.   Josh got engaged to Anna on the first season of xx kids and counting.... he wasn't rich.   I know there is a 'standard' of 2 months pay should be used to buy the ring, but that's just a waste of money.  If you really want to wear your ring 24 /7, a huge raised diamond does nothing but get in the way.

[Wordsworth]

I told my then-fiance that, if he spent two months' salary on an engagement ring, I would hurt him.  Spending that kind of money that could be used as a down payment on a house or just a nice honeymoon on a ring seems silly to me.  YMMV.

 

My engagement ring is a Black Friday K-Mart special.  I still have no idea how much it costs.  But I'm perfectly happy with it.  Maybe Anna is happy with hers, too.  In the end, that's all that's important.

 

 

[PinkSprinkles]

I did say it was shallow! Haha. I don't know. I know some people who got necklaces and even a ferret for their engagement. I guess I figured since this is the one thing these girls have to look forward to in life they should at least get an awesome ring. I really liked Jill's. 

[smittykins]

Isn't there some Gothardite rule that a wife must be her husband's best friend and not emotionally close with her kids? Something to that effect. The husband and wife must be bonded to each other and the children are just an afterthought? I swear I read that somewhere.

I could be wrong here, but I think it's that women are discouraged from being emotionally close to other women(propensity to gossip?).  I do think you're right about the husband and wife being best friends, the way siblings are supposed to be each other's best friends.

[Ivy26]

My ring is smaller than half a carat, but it was his mother's engagement ring, so the emotional ties to the ring, and that my husband's parents and sister wanted me to have it carry a lot more weight than a hefty diamond. 

 

What drives me up the wall about the Duggars?  Their concept of modesty.  Jim Boob and Michelle squawk constantly about it.  Newsflash Duggars: 

1)Constantly talking about "trying for another" and "we would welcome another blessing" makes all of us realize you screw.  A lot.  And putting that image in our heads is NOT modest.  And all the alcohol I consume to get said image outta my head is rough on the liver. 

2) Your cycle calendar in the kitchen.  It makes us think and know you're menstruating.  NOT MODEST!!!  Plus telling your daughters "Jana, mark the calendar, Aunt Flo is in town so no new blessing this month."  Auuugh!!

3) The Nike BS.  Someone tells me don't look, human nature tends to be a tad rebellious.  Now I wanna look!  And any healthy boy would hear the word "Nike!" would wanna peek just a little.  Maybe to realize "Seriously?  A bare shoulder?  I'm not tempted, but thanks!".

4) The married couple PDAs.  (It was once thought I was homophobic because I grimaced once about two women kissing in public.  My response was "Don't care with whom, but sucking face in public just grosses me out.  Straight, gay, young, old...)  The "first kiss" for Josh/Anna, TFDW/ Priscilla...not modest.  They were attempting to eat each other's faces.  And Michelle and Jim Boob are the worst.  Playing tonsil hockey in front of your children is just gross.  And...not modest!

These people play fast and loose with the concept, and look down on others for not sharing their exact ideals about it.  Asshats....

[OSM Mom]

Yes, but they don't wear pants or go around with bare knees, so they're "modest".

[Ivy26]

Yes, but they don't wear pants or go around with bare knees, so they're "modest".

 

Oh!  That just reminded me....while on vacation, Michelle had her knees blacked out "for the sake of modesty".  Lady, if you were so concerned about modesty, you wouldn't be straddling that jet ski or even wearing an outfit where the possibility of a knee showing might happen.  The American public might not have been defrauded, but the people on the water, the beach, and the camera crew definitely were.  Gosh..I wonder how many marriages ended due to that....

[aunt jen]

Re: Michelle's detachment thing. She follows a faith that slut-shames her for being a normal teenager (dating, cheerleading, showing off her body in a borderline inappropriate way) and also tells her that the tomboy she was as a child was wrong, too. She's been suckered into believing the path to salvation is bottling your emotions both good and bad, stapling a smile on your face, treating your husband with deference bordering on being a doormat, living ONLY for your family, and building God's army.

Hell, I'd have built a plastic personality too. I feel sorry for her while also being angry that she's setting up her kids, especially her daughters, for the same cycle of hiding shame behind the appearance of piety.

[toesocks]

...Having said that, why is it wrong for his kids to watch those shows now? Oh, yes, Laura Ingalls, (that tramp) spent time alone courting Almanzo and actually went to CHURCH sponsored DANCES with Reverand Alden attenting! How sinful and defrauding to hold Laura's hand and not be engaged yet...Has anyone else thought about these absurd rules that have come to mind here?

 

Not only that, but Laura also told Almanzo that she wouldn't promise to obey him during the marriage vows.

 

Not being able to show any sort of emotion. I am very concerned for the emotional well being of these children. Especially the girls. Never expressing negative emotions is unhealthy and can lead to pretty severe issues later on. Which they will then squash down as well. It's horrifying.

 

[BitterApple]

Jill's ring looks to be about a 1/2 carat as well, but the diamond is of much better quality than Anna's. I think Erin's ring is the nicest I've seen thus far.

[HeyNow]

It grates that Jill didn't keep her wedding registry private, and allowed fans to send gifts, yet is going the route of celebrity regarding wedding pictures, etc.  I dunno, I wish the couple well, they look very happy with each other, yet every time I see Jill I see, well, smug.

[Hpmec]

Michelle's display of her (and her mother-in-law's) wedding dress at her daughter's wedding. The last place I would think to display my 1973 yellowing wedding dress would be at my daughter's wedding reception. Unbelievable. If they wanted to display something in addition to Derick's dad's uniform shirt (lovely and meaningful tribute) it should have been photos of the bride and groom through the years. It's their day, not Mullet's.

[mollybygolly]

I just went to a family wedding yesterday and before the bride and groom entered the reception (sit down dinner here on the east coast, no finger food lol) they showed clips of them from when they were younger.  From baby pictures through college and after. Only took a few minutes and it was very well received.  Lots of happy memories represented.  It didn't occur to the mother of the bride to put her wedding dress on display because it was her daughter's day, not hers.   I must admit my mind occasionally strayed to the Dugger wedding, and I was comparing how different both weddings must have been.  We had dancing, alcohol (horrors!) and the bride and her attendants were all in strapless dresses.  I don't think anyone was defrauded however. 

[merylinkid]

I just went to a family wedding.   There were pictures of the parents on their wedding day and the grandparents on their wedding day.   I thought it was great to show the history.   I also told my dad he needed his eyes checked if he thinks I looked like his mother.   But that's family weddings for you.   

 

But geez, putting your registry out there so people you never met can send you gifts is just greedy.   And not modest AT ALL.

[PecanSandie]

I just read this on the Jill and Derick page, that Josie isn't potty trained. If that is true, it totally gets on my nerves!

[McKay]

She's probably largely trained, but she did crap her pants during one episode and didn't seem fazed at all, despite being three.  Accidents happen, but a kid that old not giving any indication that she needs to go, and not seeming at all bothered by shitting herself, seems weird to me.  It's not like they were doing something so fun that she would've put off going - I think they were cleaning up one of JimBob's disaster properties.  

[Absolom]

There are friends of my daughter who have a four and a half year old who wet the carpet TWICE the last time I saw her.  Apparently in some circles, four is the new two in toilet training. 

[Ivy26]

She's probably largely trained, but she did crap her pants during one episode and didn't seem fazed at all, despite being three.  Accidents happen, but a kid that old not giving any indication that she needs to go, and not seeming at all bothered by shitting herself, seems weird to me.  It's not like they were doing something so fun that she would've put off going - I think they were cleaning up one of JimBob's disaster properties.  

 

My son wasn't potty trained until almost five, but he's also autistic.  Again, they are ignoring Josie's problems and claiming she is a perfectly normal blessing.  All of my kids were blessings too, but I knew when the hell to get Early Intervention involved

[farmgal4]

Does anyone know if Anna weans at six months? Also, isn't it recommended to breastfeed for at least a year?

I read an article where she encourages breast feeding for a year or more, because it saves money.

I just read this on the Jill and Derick page, that Josie isn't potty trained. If that is true, it totally gets on my nerves!

If it's left up to M'chelle, Josie may never get potty-trained.

[NikSac]

I just went to a family wedding.   There were pictures of the parents on their wedding day and the grandparents on their wedding day.   I thought it was great to show the history.   I also told my dad he needed his eyes checked if he thinks I looked like his mother.   But that's family weddings for you.   

 

But geez, putting your registry out there so people you never met can send you gifts is just greedy.   And not modest AT ALL.

 

I do like the picture idea. I didn't realize Derick's Mom's dress was on display as well... that bothers me less than thinking it was just Michelle's dress.

 

As to the registry - but what if someone wants to buy you a toilet plunger or Cocoa Puffs? I mean how else would they know you wanted those items with a private registry?  (yes, I'm kidding)

 

I'm a little new to the Duggars in general. Have other registries been this obnoxious?

[McKay]

Josh and Anna registered for candy, soda and beef jerky, so...yes.

[Bella]

I'm wondering about the food requests - I know that LDS (Mormons) are either encouraged or required to keep enough supplies, including food, to get through a year in case of a catastrophe. My cousin is LDS, and when we visited him and his family, they had an entire room in the basement set aside to store non-perishable food. They have 6 children, so it was a very large food cache.

 

If the Gothardites have similar beliefs, that might put the food and duct tape requests into a different context, because a young couple really would need large quantities of such things starting out.

[PinkSprinkles]

It's strongly encouraged to have a year's worth of food storage. A new couple starting out may not ask for food storage outright because they are either still in school or  an apartment (limited space). It's usually done once a permanent home is established. LDS churches often do 'canning' at different parts of the year where you can stock up on what food storage items you need (freeze-dried carrots, apples, onions, ect.). and other safety essentials (72-hour kits for natural disasters that have flashlights, small radio, MREs, first aid kits, ect.). 

 

I'm not sure the Duggars do food storage though. They have a large pantry, but they also have a lot of people to feed. A year's worth of food to feed everyone that lives at the TTH would probably fill up one of the kid's dorms. 

[questionfear]

The thing that annoys me most about the Duggars is that I can't get them out of my head. I've had several stress dreams about them being related to my wife (they aren't) and showing up when I couldn't find pants. 

 

I need to stop watching TLC before bed. 

[PinkSprinkles]

The thing that annoys me most about the Duggars is that I can't get them out of my head. I've had several stress dreams about them being related to my wife (they aren't) and showing up when I couldn't find pants. 

 

I need to stop watching TLC before bed. 

 

It figures those Duggars would show up unannounced when you couldn't find pants! Did they yell Nike when they saw you? ;-) 

[Mrs. P.]

Can someone tell me what 'Nike' means? I gather from the comments here that it is some kind of yelled warning to avoid defrauding, but what is the origin of the term? Does it have anything to do with the athletic shoe, or is it an acronym?

[Almost 3000]

@Mrs. P. Its the Duggar call to look down at your shoes when something "defrauding" is in sight. So yes in a round about it does have to do with the athletic shoe.

[BitterApple]

I think if people had to wash cloth diapers like they did in the old days there wouldn't be so many four year-olds walking around not potty trained. I give kids with developmental issues a pass.

I get the feeling toilet training isn't Boob and Michelle's "jurisdiction" and Jana is just too depressed to give a shit anymore (pun not intended). Jill's gone, Jinger could care less and we know Miss Princess ain't changing a pre-schooler's diapers.

[questionfear]

I think if people had to wash cloth diapers like they did in the old days there wouldn't be so many four year-olds walking around not potty trained. I give kids with developmental issues a pass.

I get the feeling toilet training isn't Boob and Michelle's "jurisdiction" and Jana is just too depressed to give a shit anymore (pun not intended). Jill's gone, Jinger could care less and we know Miss Princess ain't changing a pre-schooler's diapers.

Why don't the Duggars use cloth diapers? Heck, we do and we only have one kid-it takes all of 10 minutes of active laundry (starting the wash, laying the diapers out to dry, folding them) and it's easily on track to save us at least $1000 over disposables (more if we have a second kid since we will just reuse the ones we have now).

 

It figures those Duggars would show up unannounced when you couldn't find pants! Did they yell Nike when they saw you? ;-) 

Weirdly Jim Bob just kept talking like it was normal, and I was just so frigging mad at him for being in my house and I couldn't escape to find my pants. Of course now that I'm talking about these nightmares I'm totally going to have it again tonight.