Jenelle: Birther Of 3, Mother To None

[EmeraldGirl]

When I had a new baby I was pretty much home bonding (oh, and cleaning up projectile vomiting). No time for backless bra ads, tummy flattening drinks, party boats. Jenelle is completely centered on nothing but herself. She's also always bragging about her gorgeous hair (do mothers with infants even comb their hair?). 

She hates to be compared to Chelsea, but it's a stunning difference. Chelsea is only just now talking about needing to get her body back, and seems to just be holed up nesting and loving every minute with the baby.

Jenelle is just scary. How long before the Dr. Phil episode where she will be ranting and raving about having all her children taken away? I can totally see it. My guess would be the reappearance of drugs and violence. 

[GreatKazu]

UBT is Jenelle's new addiction.

[IgnoranceisBLISS]

I watched Ask the Moms last night. (I never watch this portion of the show) One of the questions was asked to all four moms about how they have matured and learned from the past seasons. I almost fell over when Jenelle responded with she is so much more chill and relaxed now and she doesn't get all upset and yell at her mom or others. WTH??!! Reason infinity that this chick is completely DELUSIONAL. 

[TexasGal]

At least she realizes what her problems are?  I'd say that's step one to becoming a better person, but this is Jenelle we're talking about so I won't even go there.

[kicksave]

Jenelle was wasted too...now does everyone understand why Barb doesn't want Jenelle to have custody of Jace???? She puts on the "changed mom" face on the show but in real life she's the same Jenelle we have always known. She is drinking and maybe drugging too...especially if she's hanging with Tori again...that girl is habitual. Barb needs to get this for evidence in court.

[Mkay]

She has been dropping hints about 4 children at home in a few snaps and tweets. Is she hinting that she has Jace back. Today's snaps said "unpacking wih 4 kids is hard" or something similar to that.  

[teapot]

14 minutes ago, Mkay said:

She has been dropping hints about 4 children at home in a few snaps and tweets. Is she hinting that she has Jace back. Today's snaps said "unpacking wih 4 kids is hard" or something similar to that.  

please let one of those kids be just someone random from the neighborhood...

[ghoulina]

I'm sure it just means he's been there for visits recently. I'd think if she actually got him back we'd have heard about it. You know Jenelle. Jace could have come by for 1 hour mid-week and she'd immediately add him to the roster of kids she has to "take care of".

[GreatKazu]

13 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

I'm sure it just means he's been there for visits recently. I'd think if she actually got him back we'd have heard about it. You know Jenelle. Jace could have come by for 1 hour mid-week and she'd immediately add him to the roster of kids she has to "take care of".

Yes, if there is one thing Jenelle loves to post is that Jace is there as if she has had him in her care for longer than a day. Big whoop-di-do.

[BXD]

58 minutes ago, Mkay said:

She has been dropping hints about 4 children at home in a few snaps and tweets. Is she hinting that she has Jace back. Today's snaps said "unpacking wih 4 kids is hard" or something similar to that.  

I've actually been wondering about that lately, too. He seems to be in lots of pics/tweets with her and not just on weekends. I'm wondering if she did get him back but can't say anything about it because it is revealed in the new season.

[GreatKazu]

I seriously doubt she retained custody. I think Jenelle takes a lot of photos of Jace when she can and she then spreads out the photos on her social media to give the appearance she has him more than a day or two. She probably has the photos scheduled to post just like she does with the products she promotes.

Edited April 4, 2017 by GreatKazu

[SweetieDarling]

Maybe he's off from school for spring break?

[druzy]

It looks like Tori is apologizing to her boyfriend about the boat incident?

[DangerousMinds]

Why would she post that publicly?

[WichitaStateShock]

1 hour ago, SweetieDarling said:

Maybe he's off from school for spring break?

Yes, this is probably it. Most of the kiddos around here were out of school last week. 

[CofCinci]

12 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

Why would she post that publicly?

Seriously. 

Her boyfriend is probably as abusive as David Eason. He's going to beat the shit out of her for doing drugs with Jenelle again. 

Is anyone else here watching Big Little Lies?  I can't help but imagine David in the "Perry" role. 

[Mkay]

3 hours ago, BXD said:

I've actually been wondering about that lately, too. He seems to be in lots of pics/tweets with her and not just on weekends. I'm wondering if she did get him back but can't say anything about it because it is revealed in the new season.

That's what I was thinking. It's been during the week. There has been times they couldn't talk about things because of the MTV contract. 

1 hour ago, GreatKazu said:

I seriously doubt she retained custody. I think Jenelle takes a lot of photos of Jace when she can and she then spreads out the photos on her social media to give the appearance she has him more than a day or two. She probably has the photos scheduled to post just like she does with the products she promotes.

I sure hope you are right.  

[monicageller]

7 hours ago, druzy said:

It looks like Tori is apologizing to her boyfriend about the boat incident?

I love how somebody 'reacted' with a laugh. Thank you, stranger.

[ghoulina]

Tori's boyfriend probably was uncomfortable with how "handsy" David had to get while dragging her ass out of the water. She kept flailing her legs around too, giving everyone a real nice view up main street. I'd be mortified too. 

[politichick]

On 4/3/2017 at 10:15 PM, Christina said:

This seems to be Barb's Instagram account. I didn't look all the way through to make sure, though. It doesn't seem to be a parody account, so if it isn't really her, it's someone pretending to be.

ETA: Jace is doing well in school

I looked at the photos. Jace is dressed like Dr. Seuss! Too cute. And our darling Barb is a bit of an activist. Good for her and good on Jace doing so well in school!

[GreatKazu]

Love those Barb pics on the Instagram. It looks like it is a legit page. Jace is doing great!

[LBS]

If that is a legit account of Barbara, I like her more now!  #womensmarch!!!

[DoctorWhovian]

I hope it's real. I love the women's march pics too! And she dressed as the Swedish Chef for Halloween. 

[Mkay]

32 minutes ago, DoctorWhovian said:

I hope it's real. I love the women's march pics too! And she dressed as the Swedish Chef for Halloween. 

I know she did March. These are the pics that came out at that time. 

[iheartla]

Barbara0230 is the actual Barbara. I can't remember where I read it, but it was from a somewhat legit source.

 I'm almost certain that Jenelle and David left 9 year old Maryssa in charge of Kaiser and End Table so they could get high and wasted on the boat, and if I'm right that's downright sad. Jenelle's snaps were frightening. There was a point where Tori was hanging on the edge while they were cruising and I was afraid that her leg was going to get tangled in the propellor. Not a single lifejacket to be found on that boat either. Buy weight appropriate life jackets and take the kids tubing while someone sits back with the baby on the, I can't call it a beach so....swamp edge.... to watch. Too many gators and snakes to do so safely? Maybe don't buy a freaking marsh? 

Twitter is blowing up with comments about David's tiny penis. It's hilarious. 
 

Edited April 5, 2017 by iheartla

[GreatKazu]

51 minutes ago, iheartla said:

Twitter is blowing up with comments about David's tiny penis. It's hilarious. 
 

That's what he gets, and Jenelle as well for even bringing it up. I bet you Jenelle regrets having brought up the topic. It has now backfired on her.

[TheRealT]

Wait, was Jenelle the one who brought up the P-bug story? Is she really that stupid? And she brought it up without clearing it with UBT in advance?!

[butterbody]

Omg I had to rewind this 10 times. On the last special with Nessa, she's asking the girls what parts of their bodies they're insecure about, and she turns to Jenelle and goes, "Chinelle, what about you?"

[Calm81]

8 hours ago, butterbody said:

Omg I had to rewind this 10 times. On the last special with Nessa, she's asking the girls what parts of their bodies they're insecure about, and she turns to Jenelle and goes, "Chinelle, what about you?"

Did she really say, Chinelle? ?I'm only part way through the episode and haven't gotten that far...I will refrain from drinking anything until I hear it. Tee hee.

[GreatKazu]

11 hours ago, butterbody said:

Omg I had to rewind this 10 times. On the last special with Nessa, she's asking the girls what parts of their bodies they're insecure about, and she turns to Jenelle and goes, "Chinelle, what about you?"

lol 

15 hours ago, TheRealT said:

Wait, was Jenelle the one who brought up the P-bug story? Is she really that stupid? And she brought it up without clearing it with UBT in advance?!

Yes.

[ghoulina]

18 hours ago, TheRealT said:

 

Wait, was Jenelle the one who brought up the P-bug story? Is she really that stupid? And she brought it up without clearing it with UBT in advance?!

 

I think she tried to bring it up as an example of how Nathan is still evidently "hung up on" her, but all it did was make her look petty and immature (Nathan too, of course) and make David look like a dickless wonder. 

[GreatKazu]

7 hours ago, ghoulina said:

I think she tried to bring it up as an example of how Nathan is still evidently "hung up on" her, but all it did was make her look petty and immature (Nathan too, of course) and make David look like a dickless wonder. 

Yes. She said it on the heels of Nathan having said he had been suffering from depression due to having lost his true love (not Jenelle). As Drew was going to ask him a question, I assume relating to his depression comment, Jenelle busted out laughing in response to the true love comment which interrupted Drew who then turned to her and asked her what was so funny. She then brought up that damn story.

[StatisticalOutlier]

Here I go again...is everything everyone does now for public consumption?  Even though I made good grades, I would never have wanted my report card made public for all eternity.

[monicageller]

I don't even know where to begin, there's just so much wrong here. Baby on a boat, no lifejackets... BABY ON A BOAT...

[FairyDusted]

What the ever loving fuck??!!!

[Miss Chevious]

And the sad part is to them this is OK. For starters, can anyone spell sunscreen?  Or at least a hat for that poor baby? 

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

That picture is giving me strong second hand anxiety for little End Table.

These people are idiots.  

[CofCinci]

Looks like David got a new boat --- just like that one Blind Item reported...

Here is his boat from last summer:

[iheartla]

I look at that water and all I picture is long slimy seaweed growing throughout and driftwoods and God knows what else entangled in the seaweed mess. For a girl who loves the beach and ocean, why does she spend her time here? In this muck? Living and boating in a swamp. There's a perfectly nice ocean available in NC, lol. I know, David wanted to. Silly question. 

Ensley can't even hold her head up yet. She's not heavy enough for a lifejacket. She should not be on that boat. Unfortunately, I see a lot of invincible parents taking tiny babies on the boat thinking it's fine. It's not. 

[Uncle JUICE]

There chances that those waters near their house either have now or will have soon some version of crocodile or alligator (whichever, not sure which is more local there) in them are...significant. That's one of the reasons I don't get why they wanted to live so close to "the water," by which people generally mean "the beach," not "the bog."

[Fosca]

It'd be alligators; crocodiles are in much warmer salt water.  They're right at the northern limit for gators, but they could be there.  

And yeah, nice new boat there, UBT.

[Uncle JUICE]

14 hours ago, CofCinci said:

Looks like David got a new boat --- just like that one Blind Item reported...

Here is his boat from last summer:

This looks like someone applied the instagram filter "last known photo."

[leighroda]

I know babies pretty much eat and sleep and poop, so it's probably hard to catch a picture of any other activity at this point, but it seems like any picture where David is holding Ensley he has a bottle shoved in her mouth.

[Pixiebomb]

18 hours ago, CofCinci said:

Looks like David got a new boat --- just like that one Blind Item reported...

Here is his boat from last summer:

Boy, everyone looks like they're having a blast on the boat. Zoom in on their faces.  Uncle Dave's Pleasure Cruise to Nowhere. 

[GreatKazu]

Barb did mention a new boat on the reunion. Jenelle blew a gasket and said it is a boat not a yacht.

Looking at the baby in UBT's arms in that boat gives me the willies just like when I look at photos taken from very tall buildings. I hate that feeling. *shudders*

4 hours ago, Pixiebomb said:

Boy, everyone looks like they're having a blast on the boat. Zoom in on their faces.  Uncle Dave's Pleasure Cruise to Nowhere. 

Pleasure Cruise to Hell!

[Christina87]

Maryssa is such a cute little girl, and just seems so caring. With her shoulder-length haircut and dark features, she reminds me a lot of Liesl from The Sound of Music. I bet she will end up like her too, being the mother hen for a huge brood of siblings...

[Booger666]

On 4/9/2017 at 7:15 PM, monicageller said:

I don't even know where to begin, there's just so much wrong here. Baby on a boat, no lifejackets... BABY ON A BOAT...

It's pretty clear from that camera angle and David's shorts that Janelle wants everyone to know that David's twig and berries really are smaller than Nathan's. Thanks, Janelle. 

[BitterApple]

On 4/10/2017 at 5:09 AM, Uncle JUICE said:

There chances that those waters near their house either have now or will have soon some version of crocodile or alligator (whichever, not sure which is more local there) in them are...significant. That's one of the reasons I don't get why they wanted to live so close to "the water," by which people generally mean "the beach," not "the bog."

I grew up in a coastal New England town and my family belonged to a yacht club, so I learned to sail pretty young. One time several of us were in a small boat and I had my hand trailing through the water as we went around the harbor. We passed a guy sitting on his moored boat and he shouted out "hey, be careful!" pointing to a spot in the water. I look over the side and there's a four foot shark swimming parallel to us. Lesson learned, lol. I can only imagine the type of critters lurking in Jenelle's swamp.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

On April 10, 2017 at 7:09 AM, Uncle JUICE said:

There chances that those waters near their house either have now or will have soon some version of crocodile or alligator (whichever, not sure which is more local there) in them are...significant. That's one of the reasons I don't get why they wanted to live so close to "the water," by which people generally mean "the beach," not "the bog."

I live in South Louisiana. My husband sees alligators regularly on the golf courses here. I don't live in a swamp, but let's be real, most of south Louisiana is or might as well be swampland. Most of the newer housing developments here have lakes/ponds in them with fountains coming out of them. I guess it's some sort of aesthetic thing (or perhaps a way not to have to really drain the land before building a subdivision). And many are on golf courses with little ponds as well. When I was pregnant with my first and we bought our home, we looked at so many homes that the realtor raved about "backing up to the lake/pond/golf course near the lake/pond." NOPE. We bought a home in a subdivision with two little lakes, but we bought literally the lot farthest away from those two lakes. I was terrified my child would somehow get away from me and get to those lakes/ponds before I could.  I was worried more about water moccasins or drowning but after that tragic incident with the toddler & the alligator at Disney World last summer, now all I can think is how whenever we do eventually buy a larger home in the area, very close proximity to any water gators could be in is a BIG NOPE until the kids are MUCH older. So much NOPE.

The thought of bringing my son (he's now a super-fast toddler) or his infant sister in the middle of a swamp on purpose? HELL NO. I'd say what the hell is wrong with Jenelle and UBT, but we already know....they're narcicistic idiots. I'm terrified for Kaiser wandering away from them near the swamp while they party or shove a bottle into End Table's mouth. Gahhhh. 

Edited April 13, 2017 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[leighroda]

17 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

I live in South Louisiana. My husband sees alligators regularly on the golf courses here. I don't live in a swamp, but let's be real, most of south Louisiana is or might as well be swampland. Most of the newer housing developments here have lakes/ponds in them with fountains coming out of them. I guess it's some sort of aesthetic thing (or perhaps a way not to have to really drain the land before building a subdivision). And many are on golf courses with little ponds as well. When I was pregnant with my first and we bought our home, we looked at so many homes that the realtor raved about "backing up to the lake/pond/golf course near the lake/pond." NOPE. We bought a home in a subdivision with two little lakes, but we bought literally the lot farthest away from those two lakes. I was terrified my child would somehow get away from me and get to those lakes/ponds before I could.  I was worried more about water moccasins or drowning but after that tragic incident with the toddler & the alligator at Disney World last summer, now all I can think is how whenever we do eventually buy a larger home in the area, very close proximity to any water gators could be in is a BIG NOPE until the kids are MUCH older. So much NOPE.

The thought of bringing my son (he's now a super-fast toddler) or his infant sister in the middle of a swamp on purpose? HELL NO. I'd say what the hell is wrong with Jenelle and UBT, but we already know....they're narcicistic idiots. I'm terrified for Kaiser wandering away from them near the swamp while they party or shove a bottle into End Table's mouth. Gahhhh. 

I lived in south Florida for several years and ran into the same thing, in theory waterfront view sounds nice, but more than one dog in our neighborhood was snatched up by an alligator.