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Catelynn (and Tyler)


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22 hours ago, ghoulina said:

I'd have to wade back through his poetry (and I'm not sure I want to do that), but when I first glanced over it, I'm pretty sure there was stuff that alluded to a fairly traumatic childhood. People deal with trauma in different ways; so just because he's not as vocal about it as Cate, that doesn't mean it wasn't there. 

Being in and out of jail means there was OUT time. It's not like Butch was never around. And, I think the very fact of HAVING a father locked up for a part of your childhood could be pretty traumatic itself. You never know when he's going away again, when you'll see him next. 

Tyler and Cate just have different personalities. I think most of how we turn out is a combination of nature vs. nurture. That's why not all victims of childhood abuse turn out the same way. But Tyler has said that he tried to commit suicide when he was much younger. And look how his sister turned out. That girl is a fucking mess. I'm not interested in comparing tit for tat; but I think both Tyler and Cate grew up in incredibly shitty ways. 

If it happened you wouldn't have to go research it.   he would have talked about it constantly, just like he constantly talks about his other issues.   You don't have to go figure out whether butch was a good dad or not lol.   Even way back on the original episode Tyler told his dad that he was never there, had the argument, and then went home to Kims while Cate stayed at Butch and Aprils.    He had an out, Cate didn't.  Tyler never had to go live with his grandparents because his homelife was THAT bad.   

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On 10/16/2018 at 7:41 PM, lexiexx said:

Tyler's shit childhood was based on having no dad because daryl was the way he was, and all the let downs that come from that.   Catelynn lived with violent alcoholics.  Big difference.   

 

It's DARL not Daryl!  Come on now!

 

On 10/18/2018 at 10:26 AM, Birdee said:

Yes! Having a girl child is not some kind of consolation prize. Believe it or not, Baltierras, some people like my parents didn't mind having 4 girls and no boys. And double-shocker my dad still had someone to watch football with and take camping. You'll live. 

My dad had "only" 2 girls and the world did not end!  He was actually happy!

I will admit to this -- I was pregnant with my first and we found out it was a boy - I was actually shocked, I wanted a girl so bad it didn't even enter my mind that I could have a boy.  I know this sounds crazy, especially since I was 33 at the time.  Anyway - I only have boys and cannot imagine anything different!  But I do understand anticipating one thing and getting a little confused at first.

I was upset however when my husband's friend, when finding out that I was having a boy, said, "well that's good, so you don't have to keep trying until you get a boy."  I told him that I take offense to that.  He was like, "why? you are getting a boy!"  Ummm because I AM a girl!   Sidenote - that friend now has 3 girls, no boys.  

 

On 10/18/2018 at 9:22 PM, lexiexx said:

just the fact that we haven't heard Tyler talk about it ad nauseam  and write poetry about it is enough for me to know it wasn't his experience.    

I am waiting with bated breath for his poetry about the most recent GIRL.  Rhyming, of course!

We are having another girl

All my emotions will unfurl

I want to say I am getting a boy

It will be my greatest joy

We will go to the mall

I will buy him a football

Edited by heatherchandler
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2 hours ago, heatherchandler said:

I will admit to this -- I was pregnant with my first and we found out it was a boy - I was actually shocked, I wanted a girl so bad it didn't even enter my mind that I could have a boy.  I know this sounds crazy, especially since I was 33 at the time.  Anyway - I only have boys and cannot imagine anything different!  But I do understand anticipating one thing and getting a little confused at first.

 

With our first baby, we thought we'd have a girl, too. My cousins all have daughters and I mostly babysat little girls as a teen/young adult, so my idea of "baby" kind of automatically defaulted to "girl baby." I will admit we were a tad bit thrown for like half a second - but it was more like we assumed it was a girl and just had to kind of actually think about having a boy and re-conceptualize our baby as "boy baby" instead of "girl baby." We were certainly not "disappointed" because I was in my early 30s & we'd been married for 6 years with no babies...and the scan also showed the baby was healthy, which was the most important thing. 

Lots of women I knew assumed I was really disappointed I was having a boy and my husband was overjoyed; neither was true.  And while I assumed I'd have a girl & any baby in my future imaginings was a girl baby, I quickly learned something really amazing about being a mom to a little boy. Little boys LOVE their mamas and are super sweet to their mamas.  I guess because of the pressure society puts on men/boys, some people don't realize that boys - especially when little - are just as sweet (I don't think I realized this before I had my son).  Yes, he's often all snips, snails, & puppy dog tails, but he's also caring, kind, sensitive, snuggly, cuddly, & loves his mama (and family/friends in general).  Kids are kids before social pressure makes them be little "men" and "women" according to society's "rules" governing what is male/female.  There's no guarantee a girl will like pink and princesses and no guarantee a son would want to animated Batman with Tyler for hours on end.  There's also guarantee one's child will be gender-conforming or identify with either gender, regardless of biological sex.  

We had a girl baby 17 months after my son was born.  I told my husband &everyone when I was pregnant with number 2 that girl or boy, I wasn't having another baby.  We had a girl and I find people assuming we "stopped" because we were "lucky enough" to get one of each sex. Um, no, we were happy to get one each sex but we were happy either way...and I wasn't having any more babies (I hated being pregnant).  People are all kinds of weird when it comes to this issue. We've come so far since Henry the VIII's time, but really, we haven't in a lot of ways(...though people keep having boys until they have girls, just the opposite of Henry!).  

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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5 minutes ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

With our first baby, we thought we'd have a girl, too. My cousins all have daughters and I mostly babysat little girls as a teen/young adult, so my idea of "baby" kind of automatically defaulted to "girl baby." I will admit we were a tad bit thrown for like half a second - but it was more like we assumed it was a girl and just had to kind of actually think about having a boy and re-conceptualize our baby as "boy baby" instead of "girl baby." We were certainly not "disappointed" because I was in my early 30s & we'd been married for 6 years with no babies...and the scan also showed the baby was healthy, which was the most important thing. 

Lots of women I knew assumed I was really disappointed I was having a boy and my husband was overjoyed; neither was true.  And while I assumed I'd have a girl & any baby in my future imaginings was a girl baby, I quickly learned something really amazing about being a mom to a little boy. Little boys LOVE their mamas and are super sweet to their mamas.  I guess because of the pressure society puts on men/boys, some people don't realize that boys - especially when little - are just as sweet (I don't think I realized this before I had my son).  Yes, he's often all snips, snails, & puppy dog tails, but he's also caring, kind, sensitive, snuggly, cuddly, & loves his mama (and family/friends in general).  Kids are kids before social pressure makes them be little "men" and "women" according to society's "rules" governing what is male/female.  There's no guarantee a girl will like pink and princesses and no guarantee a son would want to animated Batman with Tyler for hours on end.  There's also guarantee one's child will be gender-conforming or identify with either gender, regardless of biological sex.  

We had a girl baby 17 months after my son was born.  I told my husband &everyone when I was pregnant with number 2 that girl or boy, I wasn't having another baby.  We had a girl and I find people assuming we "stopped" because we were "lucky enough" to get one of each sex. Um, no, we were happy to get one each sex but we were happy either way...and I wasn't having any more babies (I hated being pregnant).  People are all kinds of weird when it comes to this issue. We've come so far since Henry the VIII's time, but really, we haven't in a lot of ways(...though people keep having boys until they have girls, just the opposite of Henry!).  

Yes - that is how I felt - like my default idea of a "baby" was a girl baby.  After the ultrasound, I remember just staring with my mouth open, and my husband said, "are you mad?" and I was like, "no! I am just in another dimension right now."  So funny to think about that.

I have to agree - little boys are sweet and wonderful!  They sure like to get dirty, but they love to cuddle up and it is the best thing in the world!  

That is funny, I have been asked a million times if I will be trying for a girl and I am like - "nope, I am all set!"  People do not believe me, that I don't need to have a girl.  It is nuts how other people like to project their own weird feelings onto others.  

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40 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

Yes - that is how I felt - like my default idea of a "baby" was a girl baby.  After the ultrasound, I remember just staring with my mouth open, and my husband said, "are you mad?" and I was like, "no! I am just in another dimension right now."  So funny to think about that.

I have to agree - little boys are sweet and wonderful!  They sure like to get dirty, but they love to cuddle up and it is the best thing in the world!  

That is funny, I have been asked a million times if I will be trying for a girl and I am like - "nope, I am all set!"  People do not believe me, that I don't need to have a girl.  It is nuts how other people like to project their own weird feelings onto others.  

SAME!  I'm a "girly-girl" so I never imagined myself with a son, I thought I'd have a little shopping partner in pink frills.

All of that went out the window when I had my boy-child, and he's the only one!! (I'd be lyin' if I said that I don't wish that *he* has a girl-child one of these days, though!!!)

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Watched an episode (repeat) because bored and sick.  Tyler was saying how his therapist was saying they needed to go though a checklist and Cate needed to watch some old episodes to see his point of view, what he actually went through.  'Why should I have to watch and be all sad again?'  Uh, if you really love someone, you would help them get through whatever, no matter how inconvenienced or sad o uncomfortable it was for you.  It's not all about you.  Not a huge Tyler fan, but damn.  

I think Cate is truly just suffering guilt over putting the first child up for adoption.  They now have the means to have kept her, and I am betting she is blaming Tyler (plus other relatives) for 'pushing' her into that decision.  I don't see any tremendous mothering instincts from her.  She is going to stay with Tyler, because first of all, she feels like he owes her.  I think she's actually a narcissist.  She's fine if the attention is on her; she plays the martyr card a lot.  She only seems to have kids for other reasons - mainly I think so she can say she's a good mom and look what a strong marriage we have.  Of course, he loves me - we have had more kids.  She goes off for her illness, and it's all about her.  

They're very much co-dependent.  She's guilted Tyler into staying.  Plus, as someone mentioned, if he left her, with her being ill, he'd get a ton of bad press.  I don't think he's strong enough to stand up to her or to take public criticism.  

People who have mental illness do have children, Tyler.  That doesn't make a great decision.   If she were recovering, which I don't really see, then fine.  The little clip from behind the tv show, where she said that some things need to be said only between her and Tyler - and gave a major side eye was very telling to me.  She must guilt trip him on a regular basis.  Having a narcissist in my family, I can kind of see the signs.  Never ending guilt trips and no matter what you do, it's never enough.  Betting if she did go into counseling with Tyler, a competent doctor would diagnose her for more than depressions or PTSD.

She's enjoying this pregnancy because all attention is on her - parties, cute pictures, etc.  When the baby's born, back to depression and the spa.  And the comment about not being a boy, just showed her ignorance.  That comment will be out on the internet forever now.  Nice going.  Poor little not-Carly 2.

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Is that a new normal social media thing? To write sappy shit on signs and have your kids hold them? 

 

Which brings me to another point, which C&T exemplify, we now have a whole generation who, rather than getting real therapy, are getting "therapy" through cheesy self-help quotes on social media. I am truly thankful that the internet did not exist when I was a teenager or young adult. I can't imagine how much crazy shit I would get involved in and what it would do to my developing brain if I did.

Edited by ChristmasJones
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1 hour ago, Marisagf said:

Also, is being a "pretty little girl" the only thing Nova has going for her?  Know what I mean?  She's cute, but do they teach her anything else?  Why am I asking when I know the answer?

They need to be far less concerned by how she looks and worry about why that child is not reaching her oral skills benchmarks. 

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5 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

Yea, the way that is worded; it sounds like they wanted another baby BECAUSE Nova turned out so pretty. Da fuq? How about, "I'm such an amazing little girl" or "I'm such a loving little girl"? (Even "I'm such a LONELY little girl" would make more sense in the context of what they're saying.)

I'm such an inarticulate and ignored little girl PLEASE SEND HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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41 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

The difference is that I didn't tell my kids any of this. I didn't post any of it on social media. I kept those tears to myself because even though I wanted the gender I wanted, I also knew that it could hurt my kids' feelings and, just as importantly, was kind of a slap in the face to those parents who couldn't have kids at all.

YES! 

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Mom of 2 boys here.  

Have you heard of that saying “a daughter’s a daughter all her life, a sons a son till he takes a wife” 

I’m close with both my sons and we text daily /call weekly/ and see each other frequently - i admit i did worry about what would happen once my sons married - #1 married a lovely girl and we get along well  , so no worries there . #2 is a college senior , so hope he’ll bring home a nice girl who will like her MIL ?

Also, when i saw what friends/fam went thru living with teenage girls , my boys were super easy by comparison ?

❤️Boymom

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On 10/22/2018 at 12:01 PM, CaliforniaLove said:

Wouldn't Cate going to live with her grandparents be an "out"? 

The point is that Tyler had a mother, stability, a constant, who was there when his father wasn't.     Cate lived with alcoholics until it got so bad that her grandparents had to take her for a while.    Because April was UNFIT.   Being removed from your home because of that kind of shit isn't what I would call an out.     Tyler waltzing home to Kims after the 'should we give out kid up for adoption' argument while leaving Cate there is what I would call that.  

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2 hours ago, druzy said:

You see it don't you Catelyn? He's sick of your shit! Tyler is talking about Amber but he's talking TO YOU! Get your shit together or you're going to lose this little piece of man you've been clinging on to so desperately. 

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Ooooooooh damn! I just watched that clip and I FELT the anger an resentment towards Cate from Tyler!!! He may have been saying “Amber” but his heart was saying CATE!!! Even oblivious Cate caught on to that QUICK!!!! 

Tyler is sometimes passive aggressive but you can’t really blame him when he has family that get freaked out when you are direct with them so he has to play the passive aggressive game but if that were MY HUSBAND I’d be super worried that he was either a. Talking to a lawyer or b. Talking to another chic so it was time for cate to take action and STOP the birth control and get pregnant with a trap baby.

From what we’ve seen on just a few episodes, this married couple were not in any condition to have a baby, such a shame. I see the divorce within two years max. 

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14 hours ago, druzy said:

I didn’t click on the link but this pic is enough for me to want to smack that smug little look off her face.  Hitting is wrong, I know, I know.  She can stop with the neck rolls and stink face.  She truly is April Junior and I wish so bad someone would point that out to her among all her other fails.  On camera, preferably. 

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If there weren't kids involved, I wouldn't blame Tyler if he cut every single one of these soul suckers out of his life. Cate, Amber, Butch & even Kim are all pathetic, irredeemable trash bags. Tyler bugs the crap out of me, but at least he isn't a complete waste of greasy-haired space. Just looking at Cate makes me want to shower. 

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I'm in the camp that believes Cate likely did have a miscarriage. But, damn, is she going to drive this Rainbow Baby business into the ground or what? 

My sister conceived a few months after a miscarriage and she initially referred to it the same way. But as she got further along, she started giving my niece more of her own identity. I don't know. When it comes to Catelynn, I feel it's all about replacements. Nova was a replacement for Carly. Now this new baby will be a replacement for the one she lost. 

I think she actually favors the ones she didn't have to parent and will resent the ones she does. 

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On 10/23/2018 at 6:59 AM, ginger90 said:

Yeah, the whole emphasis on NotCarly being SUCH A PRETTY LITTLE GIRL has been said and is jarring...but does anyone else find it incredibly strange that they wanted another one to be their world? 
Just the way that this is worded is very odd to me. I don't have children yet, but this reads as though Nova ISN'T their world, grammatically speaking. 
If you're going to refer to your offspring as "your world", BOTH should be your world, no? 
I see they tried to make sense with it with the whole "as our world gets a little bigger" BS, but I really cannot with Tyler's bad poetry. This shit just doesn't make sense on so many levels. 

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4 hours ago, ghoulina said:

I think she actually favors the ones she didn't have to parent and will resent the ones she does. 

Because her two "phantom children" are romanticized abstracts she'll never be responsible for. I think Cate's immense fear of shitty/absentee parenting is a self-fulfilling prophecy. She'll always have wistful nostalgia for Carly and The Baby because they represent unfulfilled potential - they're aspirational blank slates Cate can project her idealized "would've"s onto and subconsciously shift blame onto them for her own shortcomings in motherhood and marriage. In contrast, Nova and Rainbow are harsh reminders of that disillusioned reality - she's miserable with Tyler, horribly unhappy with her looks, totally disinterested in or even triggered by parenting, and is so depressed she has to be perpetually stoned, asleep, or eating just to cope with every day. Frankly I don't even think she likes motherhood or parenting, but will continue to have babies in a constantly failing attempt to psychologically redo/reset the Carly situation and to please Tyler with a boy child. 

14 hours ago, SnarkEnthusiast said:

Because her two "phantom children" are romanticized abstracts she'll never be responsible for. I think Cate's immense fear of shitty/absentee parenting is a self-fulfilling prophecy. She'll always have wistful nostalgia for Carly and The Baby because they represent unfulfilled potential - they're aspirational blank slates Cate can project her idealized "would've"s onto and subconsciously shift blame onto them for her own shortcomings in motherhood and marriage. In contrast, Nova and Rainbow are harsh reminders of that disillusioned reality - she's miserable with Tyler, horribly unhappy with her looks, totally disinterested in or even triggered by parenting, and is so depressed she has to be perpetually stoned, asleep, or eating just to cope with every day. Frankly I don't even think she likes motherhood or parenting, but will continue to have babies in a constantly failing attempt to psychologically redo/reset the Carly situation and to please Tyler with a boy child. 

This is so spot on, it's scary. 

But yea, I've been saying for a long time that she doesn't have any interest in or get any joy out of being a parent. She would have been so much better off if she and Tyler broke up after placing Carly and she went out and lived her life. 

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On 10/25/2018 at 12:00 PM, DNR said:

Mom of 2 boys here.  

Have you heard of that saying “a daughter’s a daughter all her life, a sons a son till he takes a wife” 

I’m close with both my sons and we text daily /call weekly/ and see each other frequently - i admit i did worry about what would happen once my sons married - #1 married a lovely girl and we get along well  , so no worries there . #2 is a college senior , so hope he’ll bring home a nice girl who will like her MIL ?

Also, when i saw what friends/fam went thru living with teenage girls , my boys were super easy by comparison ?

❤️Boymom

2 sons also never wanted a girl my boys have two totally different personalities i dont get what the big deal is???

  • Love 2

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