Amber: A Rill Woman Goes to Gel

[CofCinci]

20 minutes ago, MerryMary said:

New man, new baby.  I bet Leah gets minimal time with Amber.

Of course I'm not impressed with this guy.  At best, he seems lost.  Did Matt & Amber's Couples Therapy air?  I might have missed it. 

It hasn’t aired yet. They just finished the Kail/Javi season and that was filmed Nov. 2016. 

1 minute ago, CaliforniaLove said:

Did Amber not receive a screener this week? Gary was basically saying she was such a crap mom to Leah, he just hopes this baby is taken care of. That doesn't set her off, but talking about how little time she has seen Leah over the summer makes her lose her shit on Twitter?

Maybe they didn’t send her a screener after her flip out/Twitter was from the last episode. 

[Tatum]

Either that, or Andrew physically prevented her from going on Twitter. She lost a lot of fans after that epic meltdown; even her most staunch defenders were like, whoa girl. She regained some ground with her Youtube proposed venture, but Andrew probably isn't taking any chances. I just checked out her twitter and it's mainly retweets and posts about Forever Haute. Andrew has likely been plying her with wine and Vicodin and monitoring her Twitter account himself, lest Amber set them back again with her rage filled, nonsensical tweets.

[TeenMomAngerMgmt]

1 hour ago, CofCinci said:

It hasn’t aired yet. They just finished the Kail/Javi season and that was filmed Nov. 2016. 

Maybe they didn’t send her a screener after her flip out/Twitter was from the last episode. 

Matt, Amber, and Amber’s mom will air on Family Therapy in March. Couples Therapy was interesting and I probably would have had more feels about it if I were more familiar with the other cast members. Bridezilla Marriage was compelling to me because I was familiar with most of their stories. 

[DudeLeaveMeAlone]

Could Amber be punking all of us? I have yet to see any social media pictures of her pregnancy. You'd think she'd be over the moon with sharing her pregnancy and "proving" it. Just me?

[ghoulina]

I think she posted an ultrasound pic, did she not? I haven't seen any bump pics, though. 

[druzy]

I wonder when Amber will tweet this about New Matt:

[Brooklynista]

37 minutes ago, druzy said:

I wonder when Amber will tweet this about New Matt:

Which Matt?? Con Matt? Or pussy mouth Matt? I'm so confused .

The height of laziness is dating a man w the same name because it takes too much effort to learn a new name.

[Snarky McSnarky]

I wonder how many people "apolgized" to Amber because they doubted Matt.

[druzy]

11 minutes ago, Brooklynista said:

Which Matt?? Con Matt? Or pussy mouth Matt? I'm so confused .

The height of laziness is dating a man w the same name because it takes too much effort to learn a new name.

@Brooklynista - I love your post! We call him New Matt but his name is Andrew-lol.  So it would be pussy mouth New Matt that I was referring to.

[CaliforniaLove]

15 minutes ago, Brooklynista said:

Which Matt?? Con Matt? Or pussy mouth Matt? I'm so confused .

The height of laziness is dating a man w the same name because it takes too much effort to learn a new name.

Lol!!! NewMatt's name is actually Andrew. This tweet is from February of last year, but that cracked me up!

Edited January 30, 2018 by CaliforniaLove
Jinx Druzy!

[CofCinci]

58 minutes ago, druzy said:

I wonder when Amber will tweet this about New Matt:

We are still waiting 728 days for this truth.

[SPLAIN]

19 minutes ago, Brooklynista said:

Which Matt?? Con Matt? Or pussy mouth Matt? I'm so confused .

The height of laziness is dating a man w the same name because it takes too much effort to learn a new name.

LOL 

There is no dating involved here and Andrew is certainly no man.

Andrew is the switch hitter in the ballgame of fuckery that is Amber's life. The mascot is Marilyn Monroe and the bench is actually a couch.

[CaliforniaLove]

1 minute ago, CofCinci said:

We are still waiting 728 days for this truth.

OMG, I skipped an entire year with my math. This show is rubbing off on my math skills!!! 

[Brooklynista]

26 minutes ago, druzy said:

@Brooklynista - I love your post! We call him New Matt but his name is Andrew-lol.  So it would be pussy mouth New Matt that I was referring to.

I'm so dumb. You know I knew that. I was all caught up in my joke and I forgot the details.  Ugh.

[Tatum]

That's okay @Brooklynista- I'm still laughing over your comment that whatever is going on in Tyler's pants is a party to which  Cate will *never* score an invitation. 

 

I also love the thought that Amber's paid companions run together so much regular posters think they have the same name. 

[MissMel]

I had some time to waste earlier and I wasted it searching Amber's thread here.  I'll just post a few things I snipped:

Edited January 31, 2018 by MissMel

[MissMel]

This was filmed the day Amber was supposed to marry Matt.  Friday, October 13.

[methadonna]

On 1/29/2018 at 5:26 PM, ginger90 said:

This is on the replies 

 

Maybe I’m just as subliterate as “Forever High” proprietor scAMber, but I had to read that going-out-of-business sale tweet—with its great-marketing NOT-foreverhaute.com URL—an embarrass number of times to realize where the space in “beforeverhaute” SHOULD go, reading it as “befor[e] ever haute”, like this site was the prequel or something. Clearly giving her too much credit, I was thinking maybe it meant “the kinds of clothes I liked to wear BEFORE (prior to) my being forever-high (so don’t worry; they’re far more stylish than the sartorial choices I’ve been making since I burned out half of my brain cells)”. Then, THINKING I was thinking like Amber (a feat obviously far more difficult than I anticipated as someone who, despite having needed to be on pain meds for most of the last 15 years, has been never-high from them because I DON’T ABUSE MY LEGITIMATELY PRESCRIBED MEDICATION, I tried to consider what “befor[e] forever hot”—as I’m assuming she actually thinks she’s meaning: like, maybe it was a well-intended-but-horribly-offensively named “plus” sized section (like, because you KNOW she’s one of those who’s squeezing herself into the baggiest or stretchiest size 12s she can find so as not to acknowledge that she’s really a 16-20, This would be the website’s section of clothing she’d acknowledge needing before her massive fat-removing- surgery (er, I mean massive surgery to remove fat, not that she was massively fat before surgery; I just find the term “mommy makeover” to be repugnant on numerous levels), née before she was “haute” (despite my seeing no difference in the after, save for her boobs’ now meeting her chin vs her chin’s previously reaching her boobs).

 

I finally figured out that, even after seemingly hitting the rock bottom of awful-business-naming, she fell further and couldn’t or didn’t get the URL that matched said awful name and, rather than either reconsidering the insanity of the name in the first place and start over or even make the name even more stupid to st least match the URL, she just stuck the word “be” in front of it, not even matching the stupid slogan (yeah, I know it, now, but only because I went to the site to see if she understood how “percent” works, thoroughly expecting the discount to really be 25% (i.e., the cost would be 75% of the list price/25% off). Not gonna lie: I was kind of disappointed to see she got that right and, at first, charitably, acknowledged that, in this aspect, I’d underestimated her ability, rather than the underestimating the lack thereof wrt everything about this business. But then my black soul was reassured that all was right with the world of scAMber again and I’d just underestimated how poorly it must be doing for her to have to give a discount so deeply in the “I’m a total failure at merchandising” range.

 

So -1 point for me in the reading-nonsensical-names department; minus all the points for scAMber in every other aspect of life. I taught mostly sixth-grade writing for many years—mostly in schools where it seemed students hadn’t had to write before or at least had wound up on the far side of the (unintentional) Whole Language pendulum swing, (and, when finishing my master’s at 21, “last chance” high school/GED school, where my student were 16-20, where I got my first “best” line of the many that will someday go in my book, a 20-year-old “kid” asking me, “I forgot: how do you draw a capital X again?)—and usually can solve the Zodiacianest cryptograms of the combination of no spacing, poor spelling, and misused words, but I’ll give Amber the credit: she got me with beforeverhaute.com for her Forever Haute/Hot/Haughty/High line. Perhaps her Farrah gellusness (jail-is-ness?) got her into competing for Best Word Salad Maker (except Farrah would claim the title of Word Salad Chef. Hmm, wrong thread, I guess, but that actually might be the best explanation of Farrah’s syntax yet: she’s microwaving her prose, just like they taught her in culinary school).

 

On 1/27/2018 at 6:44 PM, druzy said:

Is New Matt drawing diamonds? Engagement? 

 

 

I was already freaked out by the whole Wine and Paint “fad”: I didn’t know they had theme parties, let alone had progressed into fusion ones. But apparently the Amber and nuMat attended one, and after the SOBER couple primarily focused on the wine part, they still stuck to the theme: Lisa Frank and Dexter Fusion Night.

 

Where DO they find the time, between couch-sitting, vacationing from their exhausting couch-sitting work, not-parenting Leah, crying over choosing to not-parent Leah, going off needed medication for a legitimate, medically diagnosed illness that is so severe as to justify the couch-sitting, not-parenting-Leah, and crying over [how “my bipolar (who needs nouns?)”] results in the above (but the rare kind that makes vacationing work out gloriously), AND making a new soon-to-be-not-parented baby?

 

But there it is, proof of effort of spending three hours or so “out,” at least 30 minutes of which was likely spent actively painting and/or throwing up my fourth grade Trapper Keeper AND blood on a canvas.

Whom am I kidding: they didn’t need to go to a class/party for that: maybe that’s just Amber’s terrible morning sickness, displayed on a blanket from the couch; no way that shithead is putting in the effort to get up  from the couch and puke in a toilet, natch.

 

On 1/24/2018 at 3:44 PM, Bridget said:

Amber & Matt 1.0 broke up on May 14.

Amber tweeted on Jan 21 that she and NewMatt (Father Time was a freakin' hysterical moniker though! ) are about to celebrate being together for nine months. (I refuse to entertain the word "anniversary" unless it's used correctly...you know, as the Latin root word indicates how it's meant to be used.)

Does that mean that Amber & NewMatt "started dating" on May 15? May 16? I know we've been dying to find out the real timeline of this train wreck and have to wait until the baby is born to have it authenticated. That said, thank God that Amber is dumb enough to let details like this slip so we can justifiably judge her!

 

I may have missed it, but even if they waited all the way until May 24th or so (if she said this on the 21st, I figure three Days is a generous time span to refer to as “about to” when you’re measuring in months. Like, it’s cool for my folks to talk about how they’re “going to be” celebrating their 25th anniversary, even though that’s not until November, because 25 years is a lot, let alone for a second marriage between two people who’d each been married and divorced for 20+ years before that; if they were using talking about how they would soon be celebrating their first anniversary when they’d just wed two months earlier, I’d be laughing at them (although not as much as if they said it was their two-month anniversary, because, yeah, that’s an annoying oxyMORON)), Amby and Newbie would be “about to” “celebrate” their EIGHTH monthiversary. They’d be “about to” BEGIN their ninth month together. Unless Amber thinks her baby will be 1 the day he’s born, because he’ll be IN his first year of life. Which, when it comes down to it, also wouldn’t surprise me. I knew my suspecting she’d confuse pricing at 75% vs 75% OFF wasn’t unjustified. 

 

On 1/25/2018 at 2:50 PM, ghoulina said:

 

The way Amber sits around, you'd think SHE'S hatching a damn egg. 

Shit. I think you’re onto something. And, if that’s the case, given how long she’s been sitting on it on the couch, the question no longer is whether it’s Matt’s or Andrew’s; she’s been hatching that shit long enough that the only question is whether it was from Gary or a WalMart pick-up guy.

[SPLAIN]

1 hour ago, methadonna said:

I was already freaked out by the whole Wine and Paint “fad”: I didn’t know they had theme parties, let alone had progressed into fusion ones. But apparently the Amber and nuMat attended one, and after the SOBER couple primarily focused on the wine part, they still stuck to the theme: Lisa Frank and Dexter Fusion Night.

Where DO they find the time, between couch-sitting, vacationing from their exhausting couch-sitting work, not-parenting Leah, crying over choosing to not-parent Leah, going off needed medication for a legitimate, medically diagnosed illness that is so severe as to justify the couch-sitting, not-parenting-Leah, and crying over [how “my bipolar (who needs nouns?)”] results in the above (but the rare kind that makes vacationing work out gloriously), AND making a new soon-to-be-not-parented baby?

 

 

While lying in bed, I decided to check Andrew's Instagram. His post offers more clues as to how that painting came to be. Either he is bullshitting or he is just as creepy as we thought:

 

[Bridget]

5 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

I'm so dumb. You know I knew that. I was all caught up in my joke and I forgot the details.  Ugh.

You're not dumb. Those dates on original Tweets are very small to begin with. Add some lame ass comment that gets our blood boiling and it's only natural!

I went crazy over a tweet that Cate posted (from over six years ago) that mentioned she was going to be a teacher; I'm clearly illiterate because of them! I totally missed the 2011 timestamp until someone else helped me out.

[guilfoyleatpp]

Amber: I'm a GOOD MOM!

Amber: A Real Woman(tm)

[TaxNerd]

18 hours ago, TeenMomAngerMgmt said:

Matt, Amber, and Amber’s mom will air on Family Therapy in March. 

Whoa, I didn't realize that Amber's Mom was on the show also.  So when Andrew said he hadn't met Amber's Mom and Amber insisted he had, just not officially, it was because they met as part of the crew of filming a reality show in CA.  This guy just seems so predatory!

[Mr. Miner]

1 hour ago, TaxNerd said:

This guy just seems so predatory!

And he preyed on the most unintelligent "celebrity" ever to appear on Marriage Boot Camp.

[teapot]

14 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

 

The height of laziness is dating a man w the same name because it takes too much effort to learn a new name.

In high school I had a long tumultuous (as much as one can have when you're in 11th grade) relationship with a guy named Jeff.

After the emotional dramatic breakup, I went to a party with some friends and saw a guy from work named Jeff.  He and I have been married for twenty-eight years.

I joke that if he leaves me or dies, I'm going to specify in my Eharmony profile that only Jeffs need apply.

Edited January 31, 2018 by teapot
OF ALL NAMES!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tatum]

21 minutes ago, teapot said:

In high school I had a long tumultuous (as much as one can have when you're in 11th grade) relationship with a guy named Jeff.

After the emotional dramatic breakup, I went to a party with some friends and saw a guy from work named Jeff.  He and I have been married for twenty-eight years.

I joke that if he leaves me or dies, I'm going to specify in my Eharmony profile that only Jeffs need apply.

In my early 20s, I did have the absolutely mortifying moment of calling a new boyfriend a recent ex's name while...distracted, let's just say. Bless his heart for pretending not to notice (in fairness to me, they were very similar sounding names, the kind where you might say the wrong name on accident even if you didn't have romantic history with both of them. I wasn't like, thinking of the ex or anything).

 

But yeah, that awkward moment was enough to make me think dating only guys with the same names is a pretty smart idea.

[CofCinci]

42 minutes ago, Mr. Minor said:

And he preyed on the most unintelligent "celebrity" ever to appear on Marriage Boot Camp.

Not only is she the most unintelligent, she was also coming out of a very psychologically absive relationship where Matt gaslighted all day every day.  It was like shooting a fish in a barrel. 

[ghoulina]

15 hours ago, methadonna said:

But apparently the Amber and nuMat attended one, and after the SOBER couple primarily focused on the wine part, they still stuck to the theme: Lisa Frank and Dexter Fusion Night.

This may be the best sentence I've ever read on this forum. Dexter and Lisa Frank. No other way to explain that hideous nightmare of a painting. 

3 hours ago, CofCinci said:

Not only is she the most unintelligent, she was also coming out of a very psychologically absive relationship where Matt gaslighted all day every day.  It was like shooting a fish in a barrel. 

Yup. It takes a lot for me to feel badly for Amber, but she absolutely gets taken advantage of by men. If only she would just listen to the sensible people in her life. But she is unable to humble herself and admit she may be wrong about certain things. 

[ginger90]

[CaliforniaLove]

5 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Gary does nothing but try to say things as diplomatically as possible so as not to make her look bad. Does she realize the shit he could actually be saying?

[teapot]

2 minutes ago, CaliforniaLove said:

Gary does nothing but try to say things as diplomatically as possible so as not to make her look bad. Does she realize the shit he could actually be saying?

and I've heard him say, "Leah would like to spend time with her mother and I really hope she'll listen to that."

oh yeah, he's a real asshole, that one

[Tatum]

1 hour ago, ghoulina said:

This may be the best sentence I've ever read on this forum. Dexter and Lisa Frank. No other way to explain that hideous nightmare of a painting. 

Yup. It takes a lot for me to feel badly for Amber, but she absolutely gets taken advantage of by men. If only she would just listen to the sensible people in her life. But she is unable to humble herself and admit she may be wrong about certain things. 

Amber is not interested in a functional romantic relationship. She's interested in a partner who will wait on her hand and foot, constantly reassure her of her own value, and enable every bad life choice she makes. Anyone that really cares about her would not blithely agree with her that she needs to piss her money away on leases and vacations, and skip out on her visitation with Leah. Anyone that truly had her best interests at heart would tell her some hard truths, not to be mean, but because they care about her and want her to improve her life. She doesn't want that. You get what you pay for.

[druzy]

This is in reference to the blind item:

Edited January 31, 2018 by druzy

[heatherchandler]

16 hours ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

Amber: I'm a GOOD MOM!

Amber: A Real Woman(tm)

It is always "I'm a DAMN good mom!"

That is how I can tell she is full of it, and she knows she is full of it - she puts "damn" in there.

[Tatum]

She also once referred to herself as an "awesome" mom.

[druzy]

She finally saw Leah on her visitation day!

[ginger90]

Does anyone know where that picture was taken?

So, put your hand on your belly Amber. Leah is right freaking there, no arm around her, nope. I’m in a mood and Amber is an ass. Oh and those shoes, are they as ugly as my eyes are telling me?

[druzy]

1 minute ago, ginger90 said:

Does anyone know where that picture was taken?

So, put your hand on your belly Amber. Leah is right freaking there, no arm around her, nope. I’m in a mood and Amber is an ass. Oh and those shoes, are they as ugly as my eyes are telling me?

In front of City Hall? Maybe they got married :)

[CofCinci]

1 hour ago, druzy said:

In front of City Hall? Maybe they got married :)

Nice of him to wear sweatpants to his wedding.

Don’t tell Kail!!  

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Does anyone know where that picture was taken?

Downtown Indy. 

[Purerockfury]

I hope Andrew is never alone with Leah. Hope I’m wrong but I get BAD vibes from that creep. 

[Emkat]

Andrew is dressed like a guy who never leaves his mom's basement. 

[malaluna]

Why can't Amber ever spend time alone with Leah. 

[Bridget]

9 hours ago, Tatum said:

Amber is not interested in a functional romantic relationship. She's interested in a partner who will wait on her hand and foot, constantly reassure her of her own value, and enable every bad life choice she makes. Anyone that really cares about her would not blithely agree with her that she needs to piss her money away on leases and vacations, and skip out on her visitation with Leah. Anyone that truly had her best interests at heart would tell her some hard truths, not to be mean, but because they care about her and want her to improve her life. She doesn't want that. You get what you pay for.

She literally does! 

[ginger90]

The post of her little family has hundreds of replies. I browsed through them. The greater percentage are about how tall Andrew is and how happy Amber looks. And many are so happy for her. The replies resemble Amber, Leah isn’t even mentioned.

[EmeraldGirl]

It looks like Amber’s next stop will be as a caretaker on My 600 Lb Life. Andrew is extremely obese. My son is 6’6, I’m used to tall. That’s not why they look so freakish together. It looks like he showed up in Indiana to lay down, eat, and not cut or comb his hair. 

For god’s sake - take down that bun! Has Amber had her hair down in like the last year? At all? 

[Mr. Miner]

8 minutes ago, EmeraldGirl said:

It looks like he showed up in Indiana to lay down, eat, and not cut or comb his hair. 

At Dogshit Manor.

[Cherry Cola]

12 hours ago, druzy said:

She finally saw Leah on her visitation day!

I thought he had his arm around Leah, until I saw Leah to the right. Amber looks so tiny compared to him, and Leah looks a lot like her mom! He reminds me of George Lucas...in this picture. So fluffy. 

Edited February 1, 2018 by Cherry Cola

[heatherchandler]

14 hours ago, druzy said:

She finally saw Leah on her visitation day!

Is he wearing a duster?

[TimeToCancelTM]

17 hours ago, Tatum said:

She also once referred to herself as an "awesome" mom.

And a "boss bitch" who is leaving an "empire" for leah.

[CaliforniaLove]

14 hours ago, druzy said:

She finally saw Leah on her visitation day!

Where is Kail when you need her? She's available to yell at Jo for wearing sweats at home on a Sunday, but she can't get her ass to Indiana to do something about THIS?! NotHagrid could have at least brushed his hair. 

[TimeToCancelTM]

All i see is sweet little leah trying to cuddle up to her mom, trying to get her attention, and this cunt cant even bother to put her arm around her and include her in her "little family pic"? I fucking LOATHE amber.... you know its bad when you make jenelle look like mother of the year.