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Melissa & Ricky: Rico Suave & Chiquita Banana


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Seriously - Ricky must be the biggest fool, gullable, horney dude out there. Like "Melissa" ( did I get that right?) is in to him....makes him wait over 2 hours after not returning texts or calls for 2+ days.  From the pic she looks like a porn star.  Yeah sure he's madly in love - well his penis is.

  • Love 6
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Did I see/hear correctly at the bar?  It seemed that when Ricky introduced himself to the bartender, he said "I'm here to meet  my..."and the bartender finished the sentence "future wife". 

I got the impression this wasn't the first American loser meeting their espicy Colombian soul mate at that establishment. 

Edited by zillabreeze
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Even if she's real...someone who is two hours late to meet you for any reason other than her taxi being in a horrible crash and being rushed to the hospital, is not a nice person and won't be a good partner for you or mother for your child.  Go home, wait for your divorce to be finalized, and follow your child's advice.  Her decision making is better than yours!

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The money this fool spent on flying to Colombia and whatever he's sending this catfish could have been used towards his daughter's college fund or a wonderful vacation for the two of them. His daughter reminds me so much of mine (right down to that sketch pad in her lap), take that girl to Universal Studios or Disney, the beach, or SOMETHING...just the two of you, you dolt!

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I'm sure he is needy and suffocating to everyone in his life- like his daughter loves him but is oddly relieved when he's on his catfish trip so that she doesn't have to listen to his relationship problems and pick out his shirts.  "i want to be a good role model toboth my girls"- then be a present parent that doesn't put too much on them and leave them to blow through your savings for a booty call that you didn't even confirm she wanted to meet you.

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If this woman was real, and that’s a mighty big if, what the hell makes him think she would want to be an insta-mom? Women that look like that are probably not going to want to shuttle kids to soccer practice or help with homework.  She looks like the kind to only be interested in her daughters as long as she can dress them up like mini versions of herself.  

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On 8/13/2018 at 11:03 PM, EllaDisco said:

Even if she's real...someone who is two hours late to meet you for any reason other than her taxi being in a horrible crash and being rushed to the hospital, is not a nice person and won't be a good partner for you or mother for your child.  Go home, wait for your divorce to be finalized, and follow your child's advice.  Her decision making is better than yours!

My son and I watched the repeat tonight. We were talking about other stuff and the show was on in the background. As I've found out, if he sees some of these shows by accident when he comes to visit me, he'll understand why I find them entertaining and stop telling me to go read a book. Anyway, we're watching this poor guy sit and wait at the restaurant, and my son (41) noted that the woman hadn't texted the guy for 2 days before he came to Columbia. As much as you might want to think otherwise, that is a big, fat warning sign right there and he should have stayed in the States. And to top it off, she has the nerve to say she'll be there at 7:30 and still doesn't show up! Nope. Go find another American.

He was rolling watching the Nigerian guy and his 'fiancee.' The guy's friends were funny and on point. He's gonna be dating his grandma - and his not very attractive grandma at that. 

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10 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

If this woman was real, and that’s a mighty big if, what the hell makes him think she would want to be an insta-mom? Women that look like that are probably not going to want to shuttle kids to soccer practice or help with homework.  She looks like the kind to only be interested in her daughters as long as she can dress them up like mini versions of herself.  

@Ijustwantsomechips....Bingo!   Big stretch...say for instance, she really is the  poofy boob, pole swinger EXACTLY like her picture.  Isn't she actually another Anfisa,  looking for designer bags & luxe cars? 

I'm thinking tract house, minivan & costco ain't her endgame.

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My theory now is that Ricky really was catfished, the woman he was talking to online wasn't this blonde Barbie Doll at all.  I think TLC did detective work to find out who the girl in the pictures really was, got in touch with her, and convinced her to play "Melissa" and met Ricky at the restaurant.  That she really is some kind of an escort and they may have even flown her in from elsewhere, which might explain her lateness at the restaurant.

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I'm thinking maybe "Melissa" is a part of catfishing ring. They use her pics and gifs, and somebody else does the chatting. They can trot her out as needed when a new $ucker comes into town.

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Holy crap, this poor fool. She's basically sitting there putting up with him, insulting him, calling him a coward, laughing at him, and his takeaway is that they got off to a great start and she is impressed by what a gentleman he is. This is going to be tough to watch.

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On 8/21/2018 at 1:10 PM, Dobian said:

My theory now is that Ricky really was catfished, the woman he was talking to online wasn't this blonde Barbie Doll at all.  I think TLC did detective work to find out who the girl in the pictures really was, got in touch with her, and convinced her to play "Melissa" and met Ricky at the restaurant.  That she really is some kind of an escort and they may have even flown her in from elsewhere, which might explain her lateness at the restaurant.

I doubt TLC would do that. Not because it's beneath them, because it would leave them wide open to a lawsuit for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

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 it would leave them wide open to a lawsuit for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

I'm a lawyer -- Ricky has surely signed away all his rights to sue. Reality TV shows have intentionally humiliated thousands of people in the last 20 years, but the featured stars don't win lawsuits. The TV people know what they are doing and make everyone sign sweeping waivers before they shoot one frame.

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1 minute ago, IvySpice said:

I'm a lawyer -- Ricky has surely signed away all his rights to sue. Reality TV shows have intentionally humiliated thousands of people in the last 20 years, but the featured stars don't win lawsuits. The TV people know what they are doing and make everyone sign sweeping waivers before they shoot one frame.

Lawyer, too. I don't think you can surrender a claim for an intentional act. He couldnt , for example, agree to let TLC break his arms or kill him intentionally and relieve them of responsibility. Putting someone in a potentially humiliating situation of which they are aware is not the same as exposing him to emotional harm under false pretenses.

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He couldnt , for example, agree to let TLC break his arms or kill him intentionally

That's true, but I don't think coaching/paying Melissa to amp up the drama is comparable to breaking arms. Setting up surprise scenarios is pretty common in the reality world and has not led to big lawsuits from duped participants. Remember "Joe Millionaire"? There have been a lot of shows where the producers misled the contestants as to the whole humiliating premise of the show. A more recent one is MTV's "Ex on the Beach": you think you're in a "Bachelor in Paradise" knockoff, and then they bring out your ex.

Also, while you can't agree to have your arms broken, you CAN agree to an arbitration clause that makes it impossible to recover in court for the broken arms. The contract might even state that the portions of the show filmed in Colombia are governed by Colombian law, and I have no idea what the torts rules are there.

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18 hours ago, Gobi said:

I doubt TLC would do that. Not because it's beneath them, because it would leave them wide open to a lawsuit for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Not a lawyer here, lol.  I don't however think TLC did that simply because they never showed her before he showed up.  All other mates have been shown before the American arrives to meet them but we didn't get that with Ricky.  I don't think the blonde he met is the same one he's been texting.  Not sure if its the same girl in the pictures or not but I don't think the person who's been texting him is the same girl he met up with.  He did mention that he never noticed she had braces in her pictures before so it may not be the same girl.  I can't remember if any of the pictures they've shown us had her in a wide toothy smile.   

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I took a good look at a picture of the two of them and I am more convinced she is a guy. Its possible that this is the person Ricky has been communicating with. Maybe they are siblings? Friends? 

Edited by libgirl2
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On 8/23/2018 at 1:17 PM, Peper81 said:

Not a lawyer here, lol.  I don't however think TLC did that simply because they never showed her before he showed up.  All other mates have been shown before the American arrives to meet them but we didn't get that with Ricky.  I don't think the blonde he met is the same one he's been texting.  Not sure if its the same girl in the pictures or not but I don't think the person who's been texting him is the same girl he met up with.  He did mention that he never noticed she had braces in her pictures before so it may not be the same girl.  I can't remember if any of the pictures they've shown us had her in a wide toothy smile.   

You think he was looking at her teeth in the pics she sent? 

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6 hours ago, iwasish said:

You think he was looking at her teeth in the pics she sent? 

No I don’t, lol.  My comment though was more for us and our ability to compare the girl in the picture to the one who showed up.  I don’t know that they showed us a picture we could look at and actually tell if there were braces or not.  I’m positive Ricky wasn’t concerned with teeth.

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10 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

In all the pics they showed her mouth was closed, boobs were out.

He may have seen pics showing teeth they didn't show us, but maybe he just wasn't (ahem) looking there.

Or the braces were newly funded.

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2 hours ago, Cinter said:

Did I read somewhere that he sends “her” money all the time? Doesn’t he have two daughters? 

She may not have even asked for money. He may have been trying to act like a big shot "Here honey, buy yourself a bag." He does appear to think that she "owes" him something for whatever amount of money he's been sending her. Both parties have to agree on that type of transaction. 

  • Love 1
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24 minutes ago, Cinter said:

I’m thinking Melissa is a dude. But whatever, Ricky has two kids, that’s where his focus should be. Not some foreign whatever to be on tv. 

At some point, you have to let your children make their own way.  And Ricky is clearly the child in the parent-child relationship.  Making his own way.  To Colombia.

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1 minute ago, AussieBabe said:

Ricky and Melissa Ximena. (According to that text, the rose petals, and the dark haired lady he was hugging.)  He got over Melissa pretty fast. 

Especially since he claims that he was going to propose to Melissa.

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Just now, greekmom said:

Especially since he claims that he was going to propose to Melissa.

I'm beginning to see why his marriages failed. Then again, he is still married--but separated--and looking for the next Mrs. Proposing while still legally married. Every lady's dream, huh? Plus, it seems like he had a back-up plan in case things didn't work with Melissa. Sir, that's a horrible example to show your daughters. "It's okay if your boyfriends have back-up plans," said no parent ever.

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1 minute ago, EllaDisco said:

I know I love Melissa, I'm going to propose... Oh, she ghosted me?  Hello, new woman.  Will you marry me?

How does a married guy get a K1 visa to bring a future spouse to the USA.

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3 minutes ago, iwasish said:

How does a married guy get a K1 visa to bring a future spouse to the USA.

This will be addressed in the spin-off series where Rickey whines about the trouble immigration is giving him when he tries to obtain a K1 visa for his tenth-most favourite Colombian ever.

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