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S10.E06: Grief and Relief


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1 hour ago, Coffeewinewater said:

I used to always ask myself  for example : why would Dorinda drink on camera knowing she gets sloppy?  I would learn after watching myself the first season.  Clearly Dorinda doesn't care.  And keeps doing it. 

I think that may be why Dorinda has a problem with alcohol, she doesn't learn. I'd guess goes into these situations thinking that she will be able to hold her liquor and control her behavior but then she can't.

1 hour ago, BckpckFullaNinjas said:

I’ve been alcoholic-adjacent for most of my life (it’s not in my immediate family, but my most beloved friends have had to deal with it).  As I’ve come to understand it, one cannot be polite when confronting an active alcoholic because alcoholics tend to be grand masters at weasel-wording and shmoozng their ways out of admitting they have the problem. 

Thus, “you’re a drunk” actually is most effective —and in a way kindest—because the only response it leaves for the accused is to reply, “Am not!” —and because it’s important for the alcoholic to hear it said. 

At least, so I’ve been told. If Bethenny has done any kind of work on her family of origin’s Problems, she’s probably heard that advice or a version of it.  

After Bethanny told Dorinda she was a drunk, Beth bit her lip as if she was waiting for a verbal attack by Dorinda. I agree that Beth told Dorinda what she thought Dorinda needed to hear even if there would be repercussions. And I don't think Beth did it looking for drama, I think she was genuinely trying to help her.

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15 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

A viewer asked Ramona if she regrets anything she's done on the show over the past 10 years. She said no. Andy tried to give her a prompt by suggesting when Ramona threw the glass at Kristen. She said no and talked about how it was plastic. Ramona is the worst. I think she should have been fired for throwing the glass and picking up the oar to hit Kristen.

I agree.  I was enjoying the show until she showed up.  I’m surprised she is alienating Sonja....who else really cares about her?  I would have enjoyed Ramona opening up about her divorced life and the changes she’s gone through, but she thinks she’s too good to share.  There is nothing about her to care about.  She has no storyline at all. 

Is Sonja renting or selling her townhouse?

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1 hour ago, ButterQueen said:

I don’t think that’s it at all.  Adam is seeing her everyday and having sex with her.  If he wants to move on, he needs to move on.  He’s not being honest with Carole.  I felt really bad for her.

It was also very apparent that Beth didn’t even ask Carole to go to PR with her.  If there is a fracture in their friendship, it seems it’s being created by Beth.  Carole was very positive about Beth’s charity work, gave a large donation, but seemed genuinely hurt she wasn’t asked.

I've learned that you can't expect a man to make decisions for a woman. Funny how we expect that from men. Men are gonna look out for their best interest and if Carole gives the sex away just cause Adam show the slightest interest in continuing whatever half assed association Carole outlines then of course he's gonna say sure sign me up.  Of course Adam likes having options and that's all Carole is offering up to him. Being an option. But then why be upset when he takes you up on it?? That doesn't make sense. Their whole arrangement has been about using each other. It sounds like she's the one flipping the script now that she knows there is someone that's truly caught Adams interest. 

Edited by Yours Truly
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44 minutes ago, ButterQueen said:

That’s pretty crass and unfair.  They have been in a long term relationship.  

I think Victoria is very pretty.  She seems like an intelligent and caring young woman.  

They've been in a long term fuckship. Lol. 

I'm in one myself at the moment actually. Difference is no one is conveniently forgetting the ground rules as time passes.  Heeee.

Edited by Yours Truly
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15 hours ago, Rahul said:

I really admire Bethenny for her commitment to the relief work in Puerto Rico and also how she handled Dorinda gracefully without pulling any punches. She's looking really good this season too, especially in her talking heads.

I really admire Beth as well.  Our government doesn’t even mention the conditions in PR, or any assistance being provided.  She is doing a wonderful thing.

Just now, Yours Truly said:

They've been in a long term fuckship. Lol. 

I'm in one myself at the moment actually. Difference is no one is conveniently forgetting the ground rules as time passes.  Heeee.

I think they have been in a committed relationship.  If you are only having a fuckship, you don’t socialize regularly as a couple.  And I believe it is Adam who is forgetting the ground rules.  He wants to test the waters, but doesn’t want to give Carole up.  That is so wrong.

Is a fuckship the same as friends with benefits?  I’ve never heard of that expression.

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11 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

I've learned that you can't expect a man to make decisions for a woman. Funny how we expect that from men. Men are gonna look out for their best interest and if Carole gives the sex away just cause Adam show the slightest interest in continuing whatever half assed association Carole outlines then of course he's gonna say sure sign me up.  Of course Adam likes having options and that's all Carole is offering up to him. Being an option. But then why be upset when he takes you up on it?? That doesn't make sense. Their whole arrangement has been about using each other. It sounds like she's the one flipping the script now that she knows theirs someone that's truly caught Adams interest. 

I disagree with this whole post, and don’t really understand it.  What decisions has Adam made for Carole?  Also, given the length of their relationship, no way were they using each other.  

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43 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

I'm not saying there isn't some overlap (and probably was with Nicole too), but Adam just seems too lazy to engage a whole lot of deception. 

Also, am I the only one who finds the idea of him wanting kids a bit mind-blowing? I cannot see him taking care of a child! I actually worry about those animals they have if Carole's not around. 

They've had drinks before and it hasn't ended like this. Dorinda doesn't ALWAYS devolve into a nasty drunk. Sometimes she's just fun and silly. Generally, whens he gets aggressive, it's with people she has a history with. I think it's possible that Bethenny didn't realize the full extent of her problem UNTIL this night. 

I think you're right about Adam being too lazy to engage in deception but this is why Carole's perfect. No deception required. Carole knows and knew the deal. Accepted the deal and now that she's gotten a bit too invested she is in her feels about what the deal has led to. Him finally moving on in the same nonchalant manner as he handles everything else. I think it stings Carole to see how he can casually keep it moving even after the length of time he's been with her.  She condoned the aloofness. She's the classic case of "Imma be the one he falls for". Oh I know she always spoke in terms of what was "realistic" and knew "it wasn't gonna last" but I'm pretty sure she thought after a while she was gonna have the only Stifler's Mom affect on Adam at the end of all this. Come to find out she was complete off track about that. LOL!

I think her pride is hurt more than anything else. 

Edited by Yours Truly
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(edited)

Bethenny seems to do a lot of "counseling" lately. She wants others to know what she observes. Sometimes it borders on Know it All. I wonder if Bethenny looks outward so she doesn't have to look inward. The conversation between Bethenny and Dorinda was a good one. I hope that Dorinda does get into grief therapy. 

Carole is insufferable. She wants the other Hos and the world to know that she and Adam are having sex. No one envies Carole's relationship with Adam. Carole wanted Adam to move out because she was tired of paying his way like his mother. It had nothing to do with wanting space. Wanting space is never about space. 

Kuddos to everyone who supported Bethenny and her work in Puerto Rico. I don't care if she did it to make herself look good. In fact, I hope that she continues for whatever reason. 

Edited by Showthyme
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17 hours ago, BusyOctober said:

Oh for the love of Gawd!  Carole, SHUT UP about fuckin’ Adam!  (and fucking Adam).  All of the descriptives and labels about what the stupid relationship is and what it isn’t are exhausting and phony.  You had some fun, you got very close then needed space.  Then you were each other’s booty call.  Now that he found a new person to date, Carole feels she should break up with him. Um, I think Adam already pulled that trigger when he asked another woman out. Carole is the only one who believes the BS she is trying to sell anyway. She was never one of my favorites in this franchise but now I feel stabby when Carole speaks.  And WTF with the stupid eggs?  She thinks she is so chill, but she is definitely high maintenance.  Like Mount Everest high- high maintenance.

What the hell happened to Ramona’s hair in that manicure scene?  She looked like she woke up on a bench at the bus terminal.  Where was the cute bob from last week’s TH?

Luann’s convo with Victoria...UGH. “When I married Tom, we were traveling all the time!” & a few minutes later- “We were arguing all the time...” You were married for a nanosecond!  How much traveling and arguing were squeezed into an 8 week marriage?

Dorinda...oh my.  I am sad and embarrassed for you.  Dorinda has been my favorite since her first season, despite some of her drunken slur fests.  But, oh Dorinda, you didn’t make it nice in Miami.  Bethenny should have seen Dorinda’s condition before even walking into the restaurant and shut that shit down fast.  I wouldn’t have let her sit at the table and make a fool of herself and my work in front of all those people.  I wish Dorinda would see a therapist.

I can’t even with Sonja...you can’t go from delusional hoarder to UES townhouse proprietor in a week.  She should have hired 1-800-GOTJUNK first, then a contractor, then a professional stager.  Her Gray Gardens is a nightmare of a property with a multitude of structural and cosmetic repairs necessary before anyone would move in there!  It may have a desirable address, but she would be lucky to rent that heap and be able to make money from it.  Anyone paying what the rent must be in that neighborhood would expect working utilities, a working elevator, no peeling plaster. And definitely no clearly visible dog shit on the terrace. 

I believe Ramona when she said her hair person wasn't available. Ramona obviously doesn't know how to put it on. I think she wears a hidden crown extension which looks like a wire headband with hair in the back. this tucks under your real hair. The hair person then blows out the real hair and sprays it down to blend the real and fake hair together. I think Ramona grabbed the mop duster by accident.

Remember at Luann's brunch, Sonya was talking about paying $700 an hour for the contractors working on her house - she said she makes them brownies and serves tea - another bullshit story from Sonja. If she does manage to sucker someone into renting her place, she better up her insurance - I keep picturing The Money Pit and Tom Hanks sinking thru the floor in the rug.

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30 minutes ago, WireWrap said:

Carole didn't say she has been to PR, she said that she has been to areas like PR was after the 2 hurricanes destroyed it. That said, it makes zero sense that she took Dorinda instead of Carole.

I think it makes perfect sense. Carole has HAD similar experience. Dorinda hasn't. Isn't it better to open up the eyes of someone new? Carole already gets it. 

Another point - Bethenny said Dorinda was the only one who was continuously ASKING about PR, expressing an interest. I would think that would be the person to take. If Carole had an interest in helping out, Bethenny didn't realize it. These two are all about miscommunication lately. 

Finally, Carole tends to be a know-it-all. She was insufferable when it came to the election. I could see her parading around PR acting like an authority and really grating on B's nerves. 

The drinking is clearly a concern. I wish Dorinda would have stayed dry on this trip. But, other than that, I think she was the right choice. 

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2 hours ago, ryebread said:

I'm surprised they allow signs in windows in that area.  @ScoobieDoobsaren't you in real estate?  Is Sonja in violation of some hoity-toity UES ordinance?

 

Lol. 

Nope, I'm not in real estate, but I noticed some other townhouses on the block have tasteful "for sale" signs out front.

Mmmm, I've never noticed a "for rent" sign anywhere in Sonja's joint, but I'm always on the other side of the street -- so I don't get run over by the cars going in & out of that ridiculously busy garage next door to Sonja.  I'll check when I pass by tonite.

It was kind of a kick for me (given that I pass by every day) seeing the view inside of Sonja's place, just past the foyer, which is the only visible part from the street.

Look, the place is what it is.  The photographer took good pics.  But forgetting about the condition it's in, and her mostly crumbling decor, and the clutter & messiness, the joint is basically really tiny (bordering on cramped) & the outdoor space is very small too -- and she's asking way, way, way too much for it.

Unless she can hook up with some money-launderers, me thinks Sonja is gonna be sitting in that place till she croaks.

Btw, she really didn't know that photographer was gay?  Oh, Sonja, c'mon.

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
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48 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

I don't think this analogy works. You OWN your dog, ergo you are responsible for it. Bethenny does not own Dorinda; and is, in no way, responsible for her. Unless they show footage of Bethenny pouring drinks down her throat, the onus remains on Dorinda. 

I agree with both of you, if that's possible.  I don't think it was appropriate for either of them to have drinks (especially a few in the room and a few more at the bar...) before meeting these people for dinner, especially if they were going to discuss the logistics of the trip, and especially if an inebriated Dorinda scares Bethenny. Save the drinks for after dinner when you can relax and unwind, because the day's tasks are completed. Dorinda is the one responsible for how much she drank and/or didn't eat all day,no doubt about that. but that many drinks before any dinner on a HW show is a bad, BAD idea, imo. 

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12 minutes ago, ButterQueen said:

I really admire Beth as well.  Our government doesn’t even mention the conditions in PR, or any assistance being provided.  She is doing a wonderful thing.

I think they have been in a committed relationship.  If you are only having a fuckship, you don’t socialize regularly as a couple.  And I believe it is Adam who is forgetting the ground rules.  He wants to test the waters, but doesn’t want to give Carole up.  That is so wrong.

Is a fuckship the same as friends with benefits?  I’ve never heard of that expression.

In committed relationships you don't do olympic medal gymnastics to redefine it as a non relationship relationship either and yes fuckships (if done maturely enough) can involve social appearances. They are the one's who never officially claimed a committed relationship.  I mean of course conclusions can be made but at the same time they created this messy set of circumstances and I sure ain't gonna romanticize what they have or had when they themselves couldn't even muster enough respect for it to claim it to be anything but "enjoying each other while it lasts". 

I understand assuming a committed relationship over time and would have no problem putting this situation in that category IF it wasn't for all the adamant declarations that they WEREN'T really a couple all this time so I can only use what was presented to us about what THEY felt their relationship was about.  

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14 hours ago, zoeysmom said:

 

 

I hated the way Victoria looked with the random braids.  She looks better in a bikini.  http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/lookbook/luann-de-lesseps-daughter-victoria-bikini-photo  Loved the comment about her look being how Kristen and Jax smell.  I was thinking Adam but Jax and Kristen has a better air of funk.

 

I’m slow —-Victoria looks like how Kristen and Jax smell?  Kristen and Jax who?

I find the comments about Victoria’s looks sad.  My daughter, who has 2 small children, sports the messy bun a lot.  I would never dream of putting her down for that. I’m happy when we can get together, and I’ve sported the messy bun myself after a busy day....and I have no funky smell.  Victoria was dressed nicely......why assume she smells?  I’ve never assumed Adam smelled either.  

Color me totally lost.

6 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

In committed relationships you don't do olympic medal gymnastics to redefine it as a non relationship relationship either and yes fuckships (if done maturely enough) can involve social appearances. They are the one's who never officially claimed a committed relationship.  I mean of course conclusions can be made but at the same time they created this messy set of circumstances and I sure ain't gonna romanticize what they have or had when they themselves couldn't even muster enough respect for it to claim it to be anything but "enjoying each other while it lasts". 

I understand assuming a committed relationship over time and would have no problem putting this situation in that category IF it wasn't for all the adamant declarations that they WEREN'T really a couple all this time so I can only use what was presented to us about what THEY felt their relationship was about.  

That’s a lot of assumptions and IF’s.  

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35 minutes ago, OldButHappy said:

Agree 100% (source:  me...been sober for decades).

While I understand that my experience being raised in a narcissistic and (high functioning) alcoholic family has definately influenced how I interpret behaviors, I saw the PR trip as a narcissistic trifecta for Bethanny:

1) She could send a covert "fuck you!!" to Carol for "abandoning" her  by being friends with Tinsley;

2)  She could get a great deal of narcissistic supply from her co-workers and the general public for illuminating the good work that she's doing.  Don't get me wrong - I applaud her work and respect her effort. My family did great things in the community - but were nightmares to deal with on a personal level.  I don't see public altruism and private narcissism as mutually exclusive.  At all.

3)  She could (cruelly) orchestrate a situation where she could appear to be empathetic while actually setting Dorinda up for public humiliation.  Bethanny was raised with drunks - she knows the deal - she is not responsible for Dorinda's drinking, but day-drinking with someone who is clearly an alcoholic has only one, very predictable, outcome:  Dorinda will be wasted by dinner.

And not only will Bethanny appear to be the "sane housewife of NYC" with her investor pals, but she can also create a situation where calling Dorinda "a drunk", on television, seems like a kind thing to do.

Ha!  She's good.....

Yasss!  So many posts about how Bethenny shouldn't have given her any more drinks or how Bethenny should have told her to go back to her room before the dinner. But  what Bethenny really should have done was to not invite Dorinda in the first place knowing what a drunk she is. She's aware that  Dorinda drinks morning, noon, and night. Therefore, I believe she invited her on purpose for all the reasons you stated above.

Bethenny is playing 3D chess to make, what she thinks, is good TV.

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5 hours ago, sasha206 said:

However, I would bet anything that Dorinda has always had issues with alcoholism that predates Richard.

I'm positive that her problems with alcohol and rage predated Richard. The Susan Sharon episode of Sex and the City was allegedly based on Dorinda and her first husband. Those two were angry raging jerks who would scream and berate each other and everyone around them. This really feels like it's been her pattern for 30 years. Perhaps that explains some of her nostalgia about Richard. Maybe he motivated her to break her drunken angry pattern. Maybe she wasn't having a 9 a.m. margarita, watching Law & Order marathon all day, having a salad and a bottle of wine for lunch, taking a 3 p.m. nap, waking up to have dinner and drinks, and going to bed at 8 p.m.

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Just now, ButterQueen said:

I’m slow —-Victoria looks like how Kristen and Jax smell?  Kristen and Jax who?

I find the comments about Victoria’s looks sad.  My daughter, who has 2 small children, sports the messy bun a lot.  I would never dream of putting her down for that. I’m happy when we can get together, and I’ve sported the messy bun myself after a busy day....and I have no funky smell.  Victoria was dressed nicely......why assume she smells?  I’ve never assumed Adam smelled either.  

Color me totally lost.

I was quoting someone else-Kristen and Jax are two interesting people from Vanderpump Rules.  I think Victoria is a very attractive lady and so I posted an article about her where she is sporting her very enviable body.

Unkempt is often equated to unique body funk.  I think there has been an evolving sense of style over the years and perfectly coiffed has been out for a long time.  Of course the only other steady men we have seen with these women have been bald or follicly challenged.  (John).

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9 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

I'm positive that her problems with alcohol and rage predated Richard. The Susan Sharon episode of Sex and the City was allegedly based on Dorinda and her first husband. Those two were angry raging jerks who would scream and berate each other and everyone around them. This really feels like it's been her pattern for 30 years. Perhaps that explains some of her nostalgia about Richard. Maybe he motivated her to break her drunken angry pattern. Maybe she wasn't having a 9 a.m. margarita, watching Law & Order marathon all day, having a salad and a bottle of wine for lunch, taking a 3 p.m. nap, waking up to have dinner and drinks, and going to bed at 8 p.m.

Lol that poor dog in that episode that saved their marriage lol

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4 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

yet she drinks with and around her all the time...how scared can you be of someone when you just sat in your hotel room with them and got drunk then moved to a bar and got more drunk? and re watch it Bethenny was hella buzzed herself at that table watch her eyes ..... thats talking out the side of her mouth you cant say you are scared of someone when they drink then go hey lets go drinking..

It's entirely possible than Beth wasn't actually scared until she witnessed Dorinda being a belligerent drunk to Father Teresa of the Puerto Ricans and Haiti.  She may have figured that the nasty drunk was relegated to when the HW all party together and she was being antagonized.  But to jump down some philanthropists throat would be scary to watch in my view and it takes it from "Dorinda was just being a nasty drunk to Sonja because Sonja was being nasty" to holy crap, this woman has a major, major drinking problem if she's getting into it with this guy for absolutely no apparent reason.

On drinking before dinner in the afternoon, most people can handle it.  Perhaps Beth and Dorinda only had a glass of wine and Beth thought she'd be fine during dinner and then realized as soon as the wine went down Dorinda must've had a few before that.  

It's entirely possible to have partied with someone before and not realized the extent of their alcoholism until you see something so unnecessary take place.  And if Beth was buzzed at that table, somehow she managed to conduct herself in a professional manner, talk without slurring her words, actually show Dorinda some compassion by explaining her to the group she was with, noting that she would beat herself up when she realized later she was being an ass.

Bottom line is:  Beth doesn't have a problem with alcohol.  Dorinda does.  Dorinda getting trashed and being a nasty drunk has nothing to do with Beth.  If it wasn't Beth drinking with her, she probably would've been out with her UES friends getting sloshy drunk and picking fights with them.

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13 hours ago, UsernameFatigue said:

Did Carole attend some event that was auctioning off the late Hugh Hefner's clothes? Last week at a party she was wearing his burgundy red robe, this week she was wearing his black silk pajamas. Her ugly clothing choice was more shocking to me than her news about Adam. I posted last week that it appears that he may have been stringing Lu's niece along when he met Carole, exactly the way he appears to be stringing Carole along now. Keep one on the hook while you are fishing for new catch. He isn't the first and won't be the last to do that, but Carole seems totally unaware of the saying "How you get him is how you will lose him".  I did find the tidbit that Bethenny relayed about Adam interesting - that she wanted him to come along to film the trip to PR, but he declined as he would not be paid. 

I loved Bethenny telling Dorinda that Richard would walk in the door before Sonja's ex husband would. Priceless. I also loved how she handled Dorinda, both the night Doris was drunk and the next day. There have been numerous times since Dorinda has been on the show that she has been a mean drunk. Good on Beth for telling her point blank that she is one. Does Dorinda never watch the show, or is she just happy to keep justifying her behavior to herself? 

Finally kudos to Bethenny for all she has done in Puerto Rico. Very impressive. 

I also wonder if this happened on one of Bethenny's initial trips to PR and this is what caused the rift between Carole and Bethenny.

Does Man Bun get paid when he goes to Nicaragua?

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36 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

I think it makes perfect sense. Carole has HAD similar experience. Dorinda hasn't. Isn't it better to open up the eyes of someone new? Carole already gets it. 

Another point - Bethenny said Dorinda was the only one who was continuously ASKING about PR, expressing an interest. I would think that would be the person to take. If Carole had an interest in helping out, Bethenny didn't realize it. These two are all about miscommunication lately. 

Finally, Carole tends to be a know-it-all. She was insufferable when it came to the election. I could see her parading around PR acting like an authority and really grating on B's nerves. 

The drinking is clearly a concern. I wish Dorinda would have stayed dry on this trip. But, other than that, I think she was the right choice. 

Yes, I see your point about taking someone that hasn't been exposed to such disaster but Luann was also asking and had actually asked to go with Bethenny to help, Dorinda never asked to go and, although Luann likes her drink, she had never gone ballistic on anyone while drunk at that point, which is something we can't say about Dorinda. There was no reason to take someone you claim "scares you" on an important trip other than it guaranteed more footage of the trip on the show. 

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6 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

Bottom line is:  Beth doesn't have a problem with alcohol.  Dorinda does.  Dorinda getting trashed and being a nasty drunk has nothing to do with Beth.  If it wasn't Beth drinking with her, she probably would've been out with her UES friends getting sloshy drunk and picking fights with them.

Yes but if Bethenny was truly her friend and cared about her well being she wouldnt be inviting someone who she claims is an alcoholic to her room for drinks before meeting her very important friends. That’s setting her up to be a mess. And to turn around and say oh I’m trying to help you. Yea the helping would be NOT again getting drinks with her 

Edited by Keywestclubkid
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2 hours ago, ButterQueen said:

I’m slow —-Victoria looks like how Kristen and Jax smell?  Kristen and Jax who?

I find the comments about Victoria’s looks sad.  My daughter, who has 2 small children, sports the messy bun a lot.  I would never dream of putting her down for that. I’m happy when we can get together, and I’ve sported the messy bun myself after a busy day....and I have no funky smell.  Victoria was dressed nicely......why assume she smells?  I’ve never assumed Adam smelled either.  

2 hours ago, zoeysmom said:

I was quoting someone else-Kristen and Jax are two interesting people from Vanderpump Rules.  I think Victoria is a very attractive lady and so I posted an article about her where she is sporting her very enviable body.

Unkempt is often equated to unique body funk.  I think there has been an evolving sense of style over the years and perfectly coiffed has been out for a long time.  Of course the only other steady men we have seen with these women have been bald or follicly challenged.  (John).

 

No one would think anything about your daughter as a busy mother of 2 or you not looking her best on a random day. However, Victoria is a 23 year old scenester and artist who knew she was going to be filmed that day. She could have put a little bit of an effort before she got miked up. It's the same way that we know that these ladies all put in more effort to look presentable on filming days. Victoria could have run a comb and brush through her hair.

As @zoeysmom said unkempt is often associated with smell. I was the person who made the original joke. Kristen and Jax are two cast members from Vanderpump Rules. They aren't particularly unkempt or disheveled looking, but the rest of the cast says that Jax and Kristen reek of staleness--cigarettes, booze, coffee, and body odor in the case of Jax. The joke about Victoria is that she looks like the person who would actually smell like Jax and Kristen do. It wasn't necessarily that Victoria smelled. It was an inversion of the stereotype.

Edited by HunterHunted
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2 hours ago, bosawks said:

I see the exact shade of white in my dog's eyes when I'm about to clip her nails.

LOL  (you always crack me up Bosawks :)

 

1 hour ago, OldButHappy said:

Agree 100% (source:  me...been sober for decades).

While I understand that my experience being raised in a narcissistic and (high functioning) alcoholic family has definately influenced how I interpret behaviors, I saw the PR trip as a narcissistic trifecta for Bethanny:

1) She could send a covert "fuck you!!" to Carol for "abandoning" her  by being friends with Tinsley;

2)  She could get a great deal of narcissistic supply from her co-workers and the general public for illuminating the good work that she's doing.  Don't get me wrong - I applaud her work and respect her effort. My family did great things in the community - but were nightmares to deal with on a personal level.  I don't see public altruism and private narcissism as mutually exclusive.  At all.

3)  She could (cruelly) orchestrate a situation where she could appear to be empathetic while actually setting Dorinda up for public humiliation.  Bethanny was raised with drunks - she knows the deal - she is not responsible for Dorinda's drinking, but day-drinking with someone who is clearly an alcoholic has only one, very predictable, outcome:  Dorinda will be wasted by dinner.

And not only will Bethanny appear to be the "sane housewife of NYC" with her investor pals, but she can also create a situation where calling Dorinda "a drunk", on television, seems like a kind thing to do.

Ha!  She's good.....

 

Excellent post (and congrats on being sober for decades, Old But Happy).

eta:

Quote

I see your point about taking someone that hasn't been exposed to such disaster but Luann was also asking and had actually asked to go with Bethenny to help,

Luann would have been a great fit -- she  volunteered in a disaster zone with the Red Cross for two or three weeks during that horrible hurricane season, so she was clearly able to handle the sights/sounds/conditions.

Edited by film noire
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I think all these women at one time or another have been guilty of drinking way too much...Ramona with "Turtle Time", Sonja last season, LuAnn with her drinking and subsequent arrest, Tinsley last season and even Bethenny herself has been sloshed a few times herself on the show. Dorinda is self medicating...she still is grieving for her husband and is still in love with him. She needs to be in therapy and work on this and her single life...she needs purpose. And she needs to ditch that fat slob of a boyfriend that she clearly isn't in love with. He's just someone to hang out with. Her drinking is becoming a real problem for her...she is a mean drunk and says stuff that is hurtful or confrontational. I hope she gets serious about her drinking and gets help.

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44 minutes ago, Showthyme said:

Bethenny seems to do a lot of "counseling" lately. She wants others to know what she observes. Sometimes it borders on Know it All. I wonder if Bethenny looks outward so she doesn't have to look inward. The conversation between Bethenny and Dorinda was a good one. I hope that Dorinda does get into grief therapy. 

Carole is insufferable. She wants the other Hos and the world to know that she and Adam are having sex. No one envies Carole's relationship with Adam. Carole wanted Adam to move out because she was tired of paying his way like his mother. It had nothing to do with wanting space. Wanting space is never about space. 

Kuddos to everyone who supported Bethenny and her work in Puerto Rico. I don't care if she did it to make herself look good. In fact, I hope that she continues for whatever reason. 

On Watch What happens Live, I recall Bethanny admitting that indeed she is a “know it all”- I think she said sarcastically, “I do know it all, but I’m not an I told you so person.”  This was in response to Luann’s admission to Bethanny that she was right about Tom.  

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15 minutes ago, Keywestclubkid said:

Yes but if Bethenny was truly her friend and cared about her well being she wouldnt be inviting someone who she claims is an alcoholic to her room for drinks before meeting her very important friends. That’s setting her up to be a mess. And to turn around and say oh I’m trying to help you. Yea the helping would be NOT again getting drinks with her 

Again, she may not have realized the full on extent of the problem until that moment at dinner.  Not to mention they ARE on a TV show.  And they ARE supposed to film together.  I'm no Beth fan, but the best thing she did was to tell Dorinda rather bluntly that she's a drunk.

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1 hour ago, OldButHappy said:

Agree 100% (source:  me...been sober for decades).

While I understand that my experience being raised in a narcissistic and (high functioning) alcoholic family has definately influenced how I interpret behaviors, I saw the PR trip as a narcissistic trifecta for Bethanny:

1) She could send a covert "fuck you!!" to Carol for "abandoning" her  by being friends with Tinsley;

2)  She could get a great deal of narcissistic supply from her co-workers and the general public for illuminating the good work that she's doing.  Don't get me wrong - I applaud her work and respect her effort. My family did great things in the community - but were nightmares to deal with on a personal level.  I don't see public altruism and private narcissism as mutually exclusive.  At all.

3)  She could (cruelly) orchestrate a situation where she could appear to be empathetic while actually setting Dorinda up for public humiliation.  Bethanny was raised with drunks - she knows the deal - she is not responsible for Dorinda's drinking, but day-drinking with someone who is clearly an alcoholic has only one, very predictable, outcome:  Dorinda will be wasted by dinner.

And not only will Bethanny appear to be the "sane housewife of NYC" with her investor pals, but she can also create a situation where calling Dorinda "a drunk", on television, seems like a kind thing to do.

Ha!  She's good.....

Bethenny is now claiming Luann expressed an interest is helping in Puerto Rico so Bethenny had more than one to choose in the RH world.

As to Carole, Carole and Bethenny have spent a significant amount of time travelling together and it seems there was an offer in place and Bethenny included  Adam to photograph the entire process . Adam was strictly pay for play.  I do believe it wasn't too terribly long ago Carole mentioned how Bethenny and Dennis had been picking up the tab for various vacations.  Carole mention x number and Bethenny corrected her upping the number of vacations.  I also wonder if perhaps Carole is a bit dilettante and maybe would want to be the one directing the efforts.  

Upside with Dorinda-Dorinda is the beloved one on RHONY by all the celebrities. Bethenny knows it and knows Dorinda has connections in the charity world-that same world that awards various honors and recognizes the work of a person.  It is also fairly predictable that Dorinda without her and a couple of cocktails will be a hot mess.  If Bethenny would have selected Luann the exposure to humiliation would be limited to Luann's busted up marriage.  Not all that hysterical.

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3 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

Again, she may not have realized the full on extent of the problem until that moment at dinner.  Not to mention they ARE on a TV show.  And they ARE supposed to film together.  I'm no Beth fan, but the best thing she did was to tell Dorinda rather bluntly that she's a drunk.

Let’s just agree to disagree on this I like how you stick to your guns just as much as I do ?

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12 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

It's entirely possible than Beth wasn't actually scared until she witnessed Dorinda being a belligerent drunk to Father Teresa of the Puerto Ricans and Haiti.  She may have figured that the nasty drunk was relegated to when the HW all party together and she was being antagonized.  But to jump down some philanthropists throat would be scary to watch in my view and it takes it from "Dorinda was just being a nasty drunk to Sonja because Sonja was being nasty" to holy crap, this woman has a major, major drinking problem if she's getting into it with this guy for absolutely no apparent reason.

On drinking before dinner in the afternoon, most people can handle it.  Perhaps Beth and Dorinda only had a glass of wine and Beth thought she'd be fine during dinner and then realized as soon as the wine went down Dorinda must've had a few before that.  

It's entirely possible to have partied with someone before and not realized the extent of their alcoholism until you see something so unnecessary take place.  And if Beth was buzzed at that table, somehow she managed to conduct herself in a professional manner, talk without slurring her words, actually show Dorinda some compassion by explaining her to the group she was with, noting that she would beat herself up when she realized later she was being an ass.

Bottom line is:  Beth doesn't have a problem with alcohol.  Dorinda does.  Dorinda getting trashed and being a nasty drunk has nothing to do with Beth.  If it wasn't Beth drinking with her, she probably would've been out with her UES friends getting sloshy drunk and picking fights with them.

I saw it same way

And the notion that Bethenny had ulterior motive to invite Dorinda just to make herself look good & Dorinda bad is pretty out there

Reminds of satchels & gummi bear logic

She said that they have gotten close  & Dorinda showed the most interest, if we are going to deep hypothesize, maybe Bethenny also saw that Dorinda may need a project with Hannah moving out & Dorinda living alone

As I stated before who would have thought that Dorinda would get so antagonistic at the dinner at such a setting

That whole conversation went sideways real fast

If we are to follow the logic that Bethenny should have known better than to invite Dorinda, then it can also be said that maybe Dorinda shouldn't be invited to any social event by the others in case she goes off

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(edited)

Sigh, I never cease to be amazed by the cruelty & meanness of Bethenny.  Now, was she absolutely right in everything she said about Dorinda & her drunken bullshit? Sure, she was right.  But, man, she's just so damn cruel & mean.  I thank God I know nobody like her.

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
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6 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Exactly.  I've never bought that Carole isn't a "relationship" person and is okay with casual sex.  I think she is gun shy to call anything a relationship because of fear of getting hurt again (I understand that as a widow).  I feel bad for her because I think she wants to keep Adam in her life so she decided if it was just sex and friends, that was enough and he'd end up coming around to her again.

Carole and Adam were once in a real exclusive relationship - but that was OVER when they broke up.

Adam went over there to have coffee or to have sex and she let him. If they broke up and just remained friends - then they should have remained JUST friends. Add the sex and it becomes Friends With Benefits. Meaning Carole sometimes got cake with her coffee.

Unspoken rules - WTF?

I fell bad for Carole because it is a slap in the face. Man Bun fucked her everyday, but went out on a date and liked the girl so much he wants to see her again. Obviously in Sexy Salad's head, he didn't think it would be an issue.

7 hours ago, bosawks said:

Note to self, never shake hands with Sonja and always make sure you have a gallon of Purell available.......

And if possible a power hose

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I’m not sure if Bethenny has seen drunk Dorinda at something other than a purely social engagement.  Dorinda has been around philanthropists and politicos before, it stands to reason that you can assume she knows how to act appropriately, especially because a lot of high flying decisions get made over dinner and drinks. I wonder if this was one of the first times Dorinda got sloppy drunk at a meeting of this level, something that wasn’t on vacation or at a fun event. 

If I were Bethenny, I’d also be seriously wondering about Dorinda’s true feelings.  That “you always ruin everything” was harsh, and speaks to some deep bitterness on Dorinda’s part.  Which, I can’t exactly blame Dorinda, considering how Bethenny did go berserk at Dorinda’s house on at least 2 occasions.  But Beth may want to consider keeping Dorinda as just a social friend, like Luann.

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I’ve always thought that one of the links between Carole and Adam was their liking to smoke pot. They’d hang, have some munchies or drinks and then well...why not have sex with someone you feel compatible with (to a certain extent)? She just didn’t think that anything was going to change and I feel for her loss. She lost her best buddy. At her age finding another person to hang with isn’t as easy and she comes with a billboard that reads I’m a reality star. She can’t just trust the next person who comes along. 

I think she did try to handle the Bethenny taking Dorinda information at the salon as best she could. I don’t remember her throwing the shade down. She knew it wouldn’t sound or look good for herself to do so but I bet she questioned it privately (or maybe with Adam if they were still hanging at that point). 

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36 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

No one would think anything about your daughter as a busy mother of 2 or you not looking her best on a random day. However, Victoria is a 23 year old scenester and artist who knew she was going to be filmed that day. She could have put a little bit of an effort before she got miked up. It's the same way that we know that these ladies all put in more effort to look presentable on filming days. Victoria could have run a comb and brush through her hair.

As @zoeysmom said unkempt is often associated with smell. I was the person who made the original joke. Kristen and Jax are two cast members from Vanderpump Rules. They aren't particularly unkempt or disheveled looking, but the rest of the cast says that Jax and Kristen reek of staleness--cigarettes, booze, coffee, and body odor in the case of Jax. The joke about Victoria is that she looks like the person who would actually smell like Jax and Kristen do. It wasn't necessarily that Victoria smelled. It was an inversion of the stereotype.

I think unkempt was the look she is actually going for. It probably took hours to make her hair look a mess. She might be a wook in training.

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1 hour ago, Yours Truly said:

I think you're right about Adam being too lazy to engage in deception but this is why Carole's perfect. No deception required. Carole knows and knew the deal. Accepted the deal and now that she's gotten a bit too invested she is in her feels about what the deal has led to. Him finally moving on in the same nonchalant manner as he handles everything else. I think it stings Carole to see how he can casually keep it moving even after the length of time he's been with her.  She condoned the aloofness. She's the classic case of "Imma be the one he falls for". Oh I know she always spoke in terms of what was "realistic" and knew "it wasn't gonna last" but I'm pretty sure she thought after a while she was gonna have the only Stifler's Mom affect on Adam at the end of all this. Come to find out she was complete off track about that. LOL!

I think her pride is hurt more than anything else. 

Agreed.  That's why she had to put in there that when they first broke up, he was begging for her or something like that.  

She always knew their relationship had an expiration date, but when it expired, I think she hoped friendship and sex was enough to keep him coming back and therefore extend the relationship and hoping that he'd come back for good.

Personally, I don't think when you are a woman of that age, you should get into a relationship with someone that much younger unless you REALLY, REALLY are good with being someone's fuck mate.  And I also suspect it's much harder for women to have fuckmates without getting emotionally involved.

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1 hour ago, film noire said:

And since Dorinda didn't get hammered *at* the dinner (she was hammered from the moment she entered -- the slurred greetings alone -- my god, like Foster Brooks risen from the grave) that means Frankel also saw Dorinda's drunkenness well before they entered the restaurant.

Ten thousand likes just for any Foster Brooks reference in any context.  I will FedEx them to you.  ;o)

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19 hours ago, FairyDusted said:

Great point @ryebread! Lu would have been perfect. First she needs to give Victoria a brush.

Yes!   Thank you for saying that!     That whole scene was screaming out for a hair dresser.  Even LuAnn's "do" needed work but Victoria desperately needed a hairbrush.

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17 hours ago, Rahul said:

Tinsley's facial features are so erm...well pronounced and Scott's are so....well, not. I don't really know how else to say Scott looks like an amorphous blob with a neckbeard. I don't know where his face ends and his neck begins. I think I'm just going to call him Neckbeard from now on.

 

I agree.  Tinsley is just not pretty, at all, to me. Just a skinny blonde.  No way she'd have anything to do with Scott if he weren't wealthy.  He's maybe teddy bear cute, at the most.  And that's a stretch.

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6 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

It may not have been kind or compassionate, but Dorinda NEEDED to hear the honest truth from someone close to her on camera—-she needed a ‘come to Jesus’ meeting/call-out like that because she’s been far too coddled and excused for her drunken onscreen antics for too long. When it starts becoming a regular situation and is embarrassingly spilling over into business meetings, it’s obviously a real problem.

And I admittedly love me some Drunk Dorinda, but I’d never seen her actually take it to the extent of sloppily carrying on around Bethenny’s charity associates. I was literally cringing for her the entire time—-she was a slobbering, slurring mess who shouldn’t have even attempted to make that dinner. Yes, she’s a grown woman who should’ve known her own limit, but I do wish Beth had taken her aside and excused her to go back to her room before she got any worse and became her eventual aggressive drunk self; that’s where I do blame Bethenny, but obviously she knew Slurinda’s trip on the Hot Mess Express would make for some awesome trainwreck television regardless of her charity’s ultimate cause.

My heart broke for Dor when she talked with Beth though; it may have been 6 years ago, but she’s obviously never really moved on or appropriately handled the pain of her husband’s loss. She feels lost, never really has found her way as a woman again since she no longer is a busy wife/mother...a lot of women in her situation get that way. I think she’s just too bored—-she needs to find a passion or a new career path to keep her busy and driven. Her days of drunken lunches, naps, social parties and travels aren’t fulfilling her internally.

On that note, Sonja has become such a sad old lady, puttering around her decrepit old cluttered townhouse, desperately flirting with any man gay or straight who pays her any attention. It’s a shame to watch that joint crumble alongside her crumbling lifestyle, because that house could actually be a real showplace with the right tenant who could update and redecorate.

Carole looked incredibly old this episode in her PJ’s and ordering her fussy eggs; literally looked like a bossy old lady downstairs at her retirement home cafeteria. I can’t even fathom that big bloated and filled-up mouth area of hers doing anything remotely sexual with any part of young Adam’s body....((shudder))...and I say this as a Carole fan/apologist, unfortunately. Her new running hobby and style seems to have aged her greatly...she needs to put on a few pounds, grow her hair a little longer and darken it down from that yucky blonde color.

Exactly. I like Bethenny and I like Dorinda. They both make for great TV. Bethenny has seen Dorinda + alcohol in enough situations to know the potential, possibility, probability, and likelihood of any event devolving into a shit show. Act on it before anything happens. Cut one (Dorinda) from the herd. She needed to be out of there before she insulted someone, embarrassed herself or embarrassed Bethenny, or made the other diners uncomfortable.

I don't know how noticeable any of this was while they were in the room drinking or at the bar drinking, but it was very noticeable when Dorinda gave her Slurry Greetings.

Eve looked the most uncomfortable, followed by Omar who kept his head down shoveling food into his mouth the entire time.

I did understand the point Dorinda was trying to make about Haiti. Many countries have tried to help Haiti and it ends up having money thrown at it. Haiti is not self sustaining. One of the biggest issues are the mudslides - they do not have the forestry to keep the soil in place when it rains. There have been efforts to ship trees and vegetation in and plant them - but they all get taken by the people who need firewood. Nothing lasts long enough to grow. They've tried planting and building bamboo trees with a little bit of success. Bamboo was chosen because of it's fast growth rate - but again any success has been marred by people breaking into the cultivars and stealing the trees for firewood. It doesn't matter how great the construction is of new buildings in a town, if the mudslides are just going to sweep it all away.

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4 hours ago, nexxie said:

Haven’t read the whole thread yet, so maybe others have said this - but if Bethenny really wanted to be a friend, she would have spoken kindly with Dorinda in private and not proclaimed her to be a drunk on camera.

I have a different theory of what happened here.  Remember, when she left the table, Dorinda was OUT as far as the next day's trip was concerned.  Then Bethenny sent her a text saying she could still come.  There obviously was some kind of off camera negotiation/sit down between the dinner and the next morning when Dorinda cheerfully joined them and everybody acted like nothing had happened.  I suspect that what happened was that the producers told Dorinda what she had done, possibly showed her the tape of her doing it, and told her that if she wanted to have any say in how this narrative played out on the show, she was going to have to have it out with Bethenny on camera.  Dorinda wasn't blindsided - she sat down on that plane KNOWING precisely what the next hour of filming was going to consist of.  And it must have gone on a while, because the editing shows Bethenny going back and forth between having her seatbelt on and off, a blanket on and off -- they were there a while, and things were shown out of order. 

So I think that Dorinda knew, Bethenny knew she knew, and Dorinda's an intelligent woman who already realizes she's been drunk on camera on national television too many times to protest too much, and was ready to offer up the possibility of therapy helping.  Interventions end when somebody agrees to treatment, and while she wasn't zooming off that moment to rehab, she went pretty far to admitting that she's got to buckle down and deal with a LOT of stuff because her behavior is unacceptable.

I also think Dorinda was a natural choice.  When sober, she's a  punctual, level headed, well behaved, intelligent woman likely to wholly engage in a process and capable of interacting with people of different social groups (Jesus - can you IMAGINE Ramona on that trip?!)  There was no reason to think drinking would play a large part of this particular weekend, and perhaps if the real problem is alcohol PLUS other substances, she assumed that Dorinda reserved those combinations for less serious occasions.

 Dorinda and LuAnn both seem to be civilized human beings under everyday circumstances, and they both strike me as pretty good in a crisis.  LuAnn would have been more of a flight risk if she met somebody handsome, so B went with Dorinda.

1 hour ago, ghoulina said:

I think it makes perfect sense. Carole has HAD similar experience. Dorinda hasn't. Isn't it better to open up the eyes of someone new? Carole already gets it. 

Another point - Bethenny said Dorinda was the only one who was continuously ASKING about PR, expressing an interest. I would think that would be the person to take. If Carole had an interest in helping out, Bethenny didn't realize it. These two are all about miscommunication lately. 

 

I agree that engagement was probably the main consideration.  It's also possible Bethenny was surprised that Carole didn't offer contacts.  No, she's not obliged to call on her friends for planes or money... but perhaps she knows journalists who have covered disaster relief and might have some advice to give, or perhaps she could have offered to write an article covering Bethenny's relief efforts, or produce a television segment (not for pay, Adam!)  Everybody's got gifts to bring to the table, and if Carole was passive about offering hers, why not go with somebody else?

2 hours ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

I thought it was bad the 1st time and then darn you bravo, you had to show it a second time when Scott showed up at Tinsley's apartment and she fell to the floor  like a 5 year old who just dropped their ice cream cone on the sidewalk.  

She was keening like one of those grade school kids surprised in their classroom by their Daddy home from Iraq.

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2 hours ago, teapot said:

I was practically watching Drunk Dorinda through my fingers, it was so cringe-y!

I thought it was World War III when Bethenny told Dorinda she didn't want her to come!  (no I didn't, actually, b/c I saw pics of Dorinda in Puerto Rico.  the first years of reality TV must've been so much more fun without knowing everyone's business on social media!)

But I thought B was gracious after Dorinda  left the table, when she said "she's a really good person, I know she can show up for me, I think she'll get a lot out of this trip."

Omg yes. In an earlier post I mentioned I grabbed my dog and buried my face in his fluffy fur lol he probably thought I was drunk . I was so embarrassed for Dorinda. 

Someone pointed out that it was so much worse because it wasn't the typical drunken screaming Howife dinner. I didn't think of that at the time, but that makes so much sense. 

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To me Victoria right now is a butter face. A banging hot body but unfortunately she got stuck with daddy's strong upper facial features. Sporting dreads (good for her), if that's what she's working on doing, isn't gonna help.

The thick, dark, straight line eyebrows, while it may be fashionable, don't do her any favors and emphasizes her dad's strong eye area and brow shape that she inherited. She needs a more sculpted brow, maybe in a very, slightly lighter color. 

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I guess I'm the only one who wasn't put off by Victoria's appearance. I see that messy, bedraggled look on women her age all over Brooklyn. It's deliberate.

Years ago, Mr. Fowler had a coworker who was a titled Englishman. His family had a couple hundred million in the bank and a country estate somewhere but he would always wear frayed sports coats and old (but well cared for) shoes. He wasn't unkempt but you'd take one look at his worn clothing and probably think he was low on the totem pole of life. However, he was the type who inherited his furniture, so to speak. Decked out in designer wear and dripping with diamonds is a sign of new wealth in some circles, I believe. I don't think much of it when I see a very affluent person like Victoria desLesseps wandering around not dressed to the nines. She's doing it for a style reason but ...same difference. I never thought that the Count was dressed well, the few times that we saw him.

At this point, I'm thinking that Bethenny's distaste with Carole has been building since Carole and Tinsley became the gruesome twosome and then took a hard left when Carole's "boyfriend" refused to help out in PR unless he got paid. I don't pretend to be a huge Bethenny person but it is clear that PR was of extreme importance to her and I'm sure that Man Bun's response wasn't taken well. He's probably dead to her. 

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20 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

Sonja let’s be real you DO NOT HAVE a housekeeper lol 

The scene of her going through her house w the realtor made me think back to Morocco and KKB mentioned how shitty Sonja's house was (needing repair etc).  They hadn't shown it up close and personal like last night at that point so I thought she was just being a bitch.  But nope, it is in MAJOR need of repair.  That deferred maintenance is going to bite her in the ass.  I do not believe the elevator works.  I think she moved the stuff out she had been storing in it for appearances.

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