Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[topanga]

22 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Yet are simultaneously immune to steering, as characters can yank the wheel back and forth 45+ degrees without the car swerving.  Actors are a lot better about that now, but when I re-watch shows from the '70s and '80s it is a constant feature among car chases/escapes.

Definitely. Oh, and the other day, my son was driving, and I grabbed the steering wheel so he could take a bite of his hamburger (don't judge). It was only for 5 seconds, and he was driving at 10 mph. Nevertheless, that mess was hard! But on tv and in the movies, the passenger easily controls the steering wheel and makes multiple sharp turns, even in the midst of a high speed chase. And with bullets flying at the car.

[Moose135]

43 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

I always like it in those old scenes when somebody turns the steering wheel, yet when you look at the road they're driving on through the back window, there doesn't look to be a curve in it anywhere. Either that, or the road will be curvy, and yet they're just driving straight, not messing with the wheel at all.

Airplane! spoofed that:

[ABay]

That is such a great movie. Every time I spill a drink on myself--water is my nemesis--I think "I have a drinking problem." 

At other times, thanks to Stephen Colbert, I think "I don't have a drinking problem. I have a drinking opportunity."

[Anela]

3 hours ago, OtterMommy said:

Here's mine...and maybe it is just a case of me (and every other woman I know) being social outcasts, but I don't know of anyone who gets a bikini wax as a get-together-with-your-girlfriends sort of social thing.

I've never even had one. I remember the actress Michelle Monaghan said she wasn't that modest, so her chest being exposed in a movie, didn't bother her (I know a wax doesn't involve a woman's chest, but it was her comment on her lack of modesty, that stuck with me). I, on the other hand, was horrified when a family friend waltzed into the bathroom, when I was in the shower. I can't imagine getting a bikini wax with friends. 

Edited February 13, 2018 by Anela

[Chaos Theory]

Evil twin Mirror universe self that looks awesome in leather and is just a touch bisexual 

[riley702]

Vampire!Willow on Buffy was my favorite.

[andromeda331]

I know its come up about how when someone pretends to be the girlfriend/boyfriend for someone's parents or high school reunion they never work out their story before hand. So when the parents asks how they met. Their completely thrown. Somehow it never occurred to them people would ask how they met, their first date, and how long they've been dating. They have to try and make up a story right away. Usually the person pretending will try and get the other person to tell the story only for that person to go 'oh you tell it better'. But what's also weird is the parents or reunion people never find it odd that the couple gets thrown every time you ask them a question. 'Gee every question I ask my daughter or her boyfriend they get deer in the headlights look, stamper and take awhile to come up with an answer'. But that's not weird. Similar when people go under cover or sneak into a party or something they too never work out any story before hand. Not even their names. So when their ask they have to quickly come up with something. But the person or people who ask them their names never find it odd how surprised they are to be asked or how long it takes them to answer. Why are they not more suspicious?          

[xaxat]

3 hours ago, Chaos Theory said:

Evil twin Mirror universe self that looks awesome in leather and is just a touch bisexual 

This week we found out that Star Trek: Discovery's MU Captain Georgiou (Michelle Yeoh) is more than a touch bisexual. 

7 hours ago, Bastet said:

Yet are simultaneously immune to steering, as characters can yank the wheel back and forth 45+ degrees without the car swerving.  Actors are a lot better about that now, but when I re-watch shows from the '70s and '80s it is a constant feature among car chases/escapes.

At the same time, they are driving cars with an apparently unlimited number of gears during chase scenes. You hear "Vroom. . . vroom!' about twelve times and then, there's a thirteenth gear. 

[SVNBob]

11 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

I know its come up about how when someone pretends to be the girlfriend/boyfriend for someone's parents or high school reunion they never work out their story before hand. So when the parents asks how they met. Their completely thrown. Somehow it never occurred to them people would ask how they met, their first date, and how long they've been dating. They have to try and make up a story right away. Usually the person pretending will try and get the other person to tell the story only for that person to go 'oh you tell it better'. But what's also weird is the parents or reunion people never find it odd that the couple gets thrown every time you ask them a question. 'Gee every question I ask my daughter or her boyfriend they get deer in the headlights look, stamper and take awhile to come up with an answer'. But that's not weird. Similar when people go under cover or sneak into a party or something they too never work out any story before hand. Not even their names. So when their ask they have to quickly come up with something. But the person or people who ask them their names never find it odd how surprised they are to be asked or how long it takes them to answer. Why are they not more suspicious?          

Subverted in a funny manner in the first episode of the British sitcom Spaced: (from 1:30 to 8:00)

Edited February 13, 2018 by SVNBob

[merylinkid]

7 hours ago, xaxat said:

At the same time, they are driving cars with an apparently unlimited number of gears during chase scenes. You hear "Vroom. . . vroom!' about twelve times and then, there's a thirteenth gear.

Even better in that epic movie - MegaPirhanha starring Tiffany, she and the hot hunky special ops guy are in a chase scene.   You can see HHSO's arm moving as he is shifting madly to try get speed in a compact car to get away from the bad guys.   The camera goes in for a close up of his shifting -- it's an automatic.

[ABay]

This is both a pet peeve and things that only happen on TV--only women are bisexual in science fiction series.

[Popples]

17 minutes ago, ABay said:

This is both a pet peeve and things that only happen on TV--only women are bisexual in science fiction series.

With exception to Captain Jack Harkness. He'll bang anything.

[SVNBob]

1 hour ago, Popples said:

With exception to Captain Jack Harkness. He'll bang anything.

Which actually means the "rule" applies.  He's not bisexual; he's omnisexual.

[Katy M]

11 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

Their completely thrown. Somehow it never occurred to them people would ask how they met, their first date, and how long they've been dating. They have to try and make up a story right away. Usually the person pretending will try and get the other person to tell the story only for that person to go 'oh you tell it better'. But what's also weird is the parents or reunion people never find it odd that the couple gets thrown every time you ask them a question. 'Gee every question I ask my daughter or her boyfriend they get deer in the headlights look, stamper and take awhile to come up with an answer'.

I'm pretty sure my sister was not pretending to date someone. She really had no need to.  But, she brought home a bf from college and my grandmother asked how they met and he looked at my sister and said "how did we meet?"  So, it happens.

[andromeda331]

2 hours ago, ABay said:

This is both a pet peeve and things that only happen on TV--only women are bisexual in science fiction series.

Its a pet peeve of mine too. Especially when it comes up when trying to determine who a baby's father is. Like on Person of Interest in one episode their trying to figure out who the father of a baby is a rich man or his son. They follow the son and see him kiss another man. Clearly he's gay and can't be the father. Except that doesn't rule out him if he is bisexual. Which doesn't come up.      

[HunterHunted]

6 hours ago, ABay said:

This is both a pet peeve and things that only happen on TV--only women are bisexual in science fiction series.

Luckily, John Constantine showed up on Legends of Tomorrow to demonstrate that needn't always be true. He stopped by, hit on Citizen Cold, got rejected by him, and hooked up with Sara Lance. Too bad we can't get Constantine full time on Legends.

[festivus]

37 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

Luckily, John Constantine showed up on Legends of Tomorrow to demonstrate that needn't always be true. He stopped by, hit on Citizen Cold, got rejected by him, and hooked up with Sara Lance. Too bad we can't get Constantine full time on Legends.

Awesome. I'll have something to look forward to when I get to watch this season.

[HunterHunted]

10 minutes ago, festivus said:

Awesome. I'll have something to look forward to when I get to watch this season.

As @Miss Dee mentioned in the episode thread, is there any other show that would have 3 LGBT characters in the A plot (a bisexual man, a bisexual woman, and a gay man).

[festivus]

Okay you're making me want to see the season right now but I have to wait for it to hit Netflix. Sorry, for derailing the thread. :)

[doodlebug]

I'm an OB/GYN and most of what happens in childbirth on TV is completely foreign to anyone's real life experience.  First off, the pregnant mom, expecting her first child has one contraction and everyone is rushing to go to the hospital.  Not that real life people don't sometimes do this, but, since the average first labor lasts 12-16 hours and around a thousand or more contractions; it's really not recommended.  From Lucy Ricardo to the present, it seems like most pregnant women on TV have amazing superpowers and are sure that the baby is coming with the first contraction and need to  get to labor and delivery ASAP.

In the same vein, the number of TV moms, especially first time mothers, whose labors are so fast that they end up delivering on an elevator or in the car or on the kitchen floor is way disproportionate to real life.  It doesn't happen very often at all and the number of women whose first labor lasts 20 minutes is tiny.  Georgette on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Elise on Family Ties, Doogie Howser delivering a baby in a stalled elevator; the list is endless.

Then, there's the birth scene with the new mom, her hair and makeup intact and having not even broken a sweat, 'pushes' the baby out while screaming and not bearing down into the arms of the doctor who is standing at least 3 feet away from the action.  

[festivus]

Yeah it's ridiculous. Many women get epidurals, there is no screaming. Even with my second kid when the epidural didn't work there was no screaming. Birth scenes get on my nerves.

[ChromaKelly]

On 2/12/2018 at 11:49 PM, xaxat said:

 

At the same time, they are driving cars with an apparently unlimited number of gears during chase scenes. You hear "Vroom. . . vroom!' about twelve times and then, there's a thirteenth gear. 

It's like the guns that are cocked 1000 times over the course of a scene. Click-click!

[Moose135]

2 hours ago, doodlebug said:

labors are so fast that they end up delivering on an elevator

I won't get into an elevator with a pregnant woman, you can never be too careful...

[shapeshifter]

6 hours ago, festivus said:

7 hours ago, doodlebug said:

I'm an OB/GYN and most of what happens in childbirth on TV is completely foreign to anyone's real life experience.  

Yeah it's ridiculous. Many women get epidurals, there is no screaming. Even with my second kid when the epidural didn't work there was no screaming. Birth scenes get on my nerves.

My nerves too. I had 3 kids with no epidurals—including an emergency C-Section with no anesthesia—and there was no screaming. 

And on TV would there never be c-sections in which the anesthesia didn't work.

[Shannon L.]

Is it common for people in real life to sneak into a bathroom or empty room during a family function to have sex?  I wouldn't even consider it.

[topanga]

31 minutes ago, Shannon L. said:

Is it common for people in real life to sneak into a bathroom or empty room during a family function to have sex?  I wouldn't even consider it.

Yes. There is so much bathroom stall sex and counter sex, it’s ridiculous!

[auntlada]

8 hours ago, festivus said:

Yeah it's ridiculous. Many women get epidurals, there is no screaming. Even with my second kid when the epidural didn't work there was no screaming. Birth scenes get on my nerves.

I screamed once, but it was after the birth. I had an epidural and C-section, so no pain at all during birth. After the epidural wore off, I was OK until I stood up. When I screamed, I was trying to get up off the toilet, and it hurt like nothing had ever hurt before. I screamed until someone came to help me. The women in labor were probably really freaked out.

[Anela]

Mum said she was allowed to yell or just "express herself" however she did, when she gave birth over here (the US). In England, when she had me, the nurses apparently frowned upon it. She had an epidural, but they missed their target (?) with the needle. She said her legs numbed, so she was still in pain, and trying to grab a gas mask from my dad, to put herself to sleep. I make enough noise when I have horrendous cramps. I can't imagine trying to get a baby out of me. 

[Annber03]

1 minute ago, Anela said:

I make enough noise when I have horrendous cramps. I can't imagine trying to get a baby out of me. 

Same.

[ganesh]

17 hours ago, topanga said:

Yes. There is so much bathroom stall sex and counter sex, it’s ridiculous!

You mean you *don't* have bathroom sex?

[HunterHunted]

On 2/15/2018 at 10:54 AM, doodlebug said:

In the same vein, the number of TV moms, especially first time mothers, whose labors are so fast that they end up delivering on an elevator or in the car or on the kitchen floor is way disproportionate to real life.  It doesn't happen very often at all and the number of women whose first labor lasts 20 minutes is tiny. 

My college roommate's mom was a fast labor mom. They lived on a farm and were about 2 hours away from the hospital. Only one of their 7 kids was delivered in the hospital. That delivery took 90 minutes after admission; the dad was annoyed because it was taking too long. Another one was delivered in the emergency room entrance. Most were delivered in the car on the way to the hospital, but they were for sure the exception.

I would love to see a long labor on tv. The idea that the family has to take shifts to cover mom's 30 hours of labor is so interesting that I'm kind of shocked  it hasn't been mined before.

[shapeshifter]

4 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

would love to see a long labor on tv. The idea that the family has to take shifts to cover mom's 30 hours of labor is so interesting that I'm kind of shocked  it hasn't been mined before.

Didn't they sort of do this with Rachel on Friends? 

Is it only on TV that the mom shows up at the hospital to have the baby, is sent home because it's "false"* labor, and then she has the baby in the livingroom, kitchen, or wherever?

 

*@doodlebug, please tell me they don't call it "false" labor anymore.

[Katy M]

6 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Is it only on TV that the mom shows up at the hospital to have the baby, is sent home because it's "false"* labor, and then she has the baby in the livingroom, kitchen, or wherever?

I read a story on the internet, about a  couple who were told to  leave and they went across the street to a hotel (I guess home was too far, or they just didn't want to go very far) and she ended up having the baby in the hotel room.  

I think Jamie on Mad About You had fairly long labor, also.  

[FormerMod-a1]

Didn't Murphy Brown also have a long labor?  It seems to me that in TV, labors are either ridiculously short or incredibly long, but nothing in the middle.  Or at least rarely anything in the middle.

[andromeda331]

My favorite is when the pregnancy that lasts longer then the normal the normal 9-10 months.  Like Rachel's year long pregnancy and also Jamie on Mad About You. And no one seems to think that's weird or concerned.

[kassygreene]

On Murphy Brown she went in and was admiring the view from her window and the nurse was all "Mmm hmmm."  Her co-workers took shifts to sit with her as labor glacially progressed - at one point, when Corky was relieved of her shift, she made a handover report and finished with "and now I'm going to the pharmacy to refill my birth control prescription".

I actually liked the later Friends seasons (once they were all over and I got them in syndication), probably because I think I got to watch in order at a rate of ten episodes per week.  Anyway, when Rachel was in labor they kept rotating other mothers through (semi-private room) who came in, popped out a kid, and went home.  I think the final other mother was Janice.  (It's always Janice.)

I knew a woman whose first pregnancy was about seven months.  Twelve years (and apparently about 80 pounds more of real (vs pregnancy) weight) later, she had her second kid, went about two weeks past term and when the doctor finally decided to induce the idea of it apparently triggered labor.  I know all these wonderful mothers whose experiences have always made me kind of glad to be childless.

[andromeda331]

Watching Burn Notice there's a scene where his brother Nate has to remove a bullet from Michael's shoulder. It made me thing how on TV characters with zero medical experience will have to remove bullets, emergency tracheotomy or other stuff. Sure they usually get talked through it. Somehow they managed to do it despite no clue what their doing and without oops I cut something I shouldn't, oops the knife slipped, and the wound doesn't look like someone inexperienced was getting a bullet out or stitched it up. Nate gets the bullet out and the wound is a nice little circle. I'm pretty sure if I had to I could get a bullet out but no way would it be pretty, it would be ugly, there would be a lot of blood and screaming from both of us. 

[backformore]

On TV, mostly reality shows, but also others, people are always toasting.  every time 2 or more people have wine, beer, cocktails, they have to clink glasses and say cheers.   And sometimes, they do it with food - everyone holds up their nacho, or pizza slice, touch them together and say "cheers".  

WHY?  I get it at a special dinner or something.  But every time my husband and I sit down to dinner, we don't feel the need to toast.  we just drink the damn wine. 

[biakbiak]

59 minutes ago, backformore said:

WHY?  I get it at a special dinner or something.  But every time my husband and I sit down to dinner, we don't feel the need to toast.  we just drink the damn wine. 

In my family you always toast every time you sit for a meal or even just a drink together. Doesnt have to be special and it continues just when there are two people and an everyday thing. It's a tradition that started before tv, on at least my father's side of the family. In our aethiest/agnostic family its basically a substitute for a prayer but is acknowledgimg the other person and saying you are happy to be there and I value it even when its just me and my partner. 

Edited February 21, 2018 by biakbiak

[kassygreene]

When I visited my Danish cousins we did toast, but only once per meal, and not necessarily alcoholic (I don't remember drinking anything stronger than coffee and coca-cola for the whole trip).  They did teach us the proper way to toast (in Denmark): look each person straight in the eye (if the group was four or more, the two opposite were enough), with a slight nod of the head but not breaking eye contact, raise your glass no higher than eye level, and say Skål.  Then ideally toss back the drink in one gulp (these glasses were small).  It was nice.  It was a custom, not a rigid ritual.

[Raja]

On 2/20/2018 at 12:24 AM, andromeda331 said:

Watching Burn Notice there's a scene where his brother Nate has to remove a bullet from Michael's shoulder. It made me thing how on TV characters with zero medical experience will have to remove bullets, emergency tracheotomy or other stuff. Sure they usually get talked through it. Somehow they managed to do it despite no clue what their doing and without oops I cut something I shouldn't, oops the knife slipped, and the wound doesn't look like someone inexperienced was getting a bullet out or stitched it up. Nate gets the bullet out and the wound is a nice little circle. I'm pretty sure if I had to I could get a bullet out but no way would it be pretty, it would be ugly, there would be a lot of blood and screaming from both of us. 

I just saw that one again minutes after reading your post on Filipino TV. A rebel leader puts a combat knife over a flame before digging out a bullet in an abandoned train car. FPJ's Ang Probinsyano

[GreekGeek]

On 2/20/2018 at 3:24 AM, andromeda331 said:

Watching Burn Notice there's a scene where his brother Nate has to remove a bullet from Michael's shoulder. It made me thing how on TV characters with zero medical experience will have to remove bullets, emergency tracheotomy or other stuff. Sure they usually get talked through it. Somehow they managed to do it despite no clue what their doing and without oops I cut something I shouldn't, oops the knife slipped, and the wound doesn't look like someone inexperienced was getting a bullet out or stitched it up. Nate gets the bullet out and the wound is a nice little circle. I'm pretty sure if I had to I could get a bullet out but no way would it be pretty, it would be ugly, there would be a lot of blood and screaming from both of us. 

There's also the trope of having someone take a bullet to the shoulder when the plot requires him or her to be shot but not killed. A scene or two later they're walking around with an arm in a sling but otherwise fine. In real life, the wound may not be fatal, but it would probably be a lot more debilitating than TV would have you believe. I quote from Straight Dope:

Quote

 

Writers no doubt target the shoulder for nonlethal bullet wounds on the assumption that it contains no vital organs. In reality, however, it can be a dangerous place to get shot. The shoulder contains the subclavian artery, which feeds the brachial artery (the main artery of the arm), as well as the brachial plexus, the large nerve bundle that controls arm function.

If you get hit in the brachial plexus, you’re probably not going to be walking around good as new five minutes later. A study of 58 gunshot victims wounded in the brachial plexus found 51 of them needed follow-up surgery to deal with blood vessel damage, severe pain, and loss of motor function. As for the subclavian artery, a study from a New Orleans hospital reported that out of 16 cases of acute injury thereto, four patients died and another lost the arm.

 

[scarynikki12]

On 2/15/2018 at 6:12 PM, Shannon L. said:

Is it common for people in real life to sneak into a bathroom or empty room during a family function to have sex?  I wouldn't even consider it.

During college Bestie 1 and her younger sister had a New Year's party.  Since they were both still living with their parents, everyone gathered there.  One of the group's friends had sex with her boyfriend on the sink in the downstairs bathroom, broke said sink, and left before anyone found out.  They didn't pay for it.

[fishcakes]

On 2/21/2018 at 5:43 PM, GreekGeek said:

There's also the trope of having someone take a bullet to the shoulder when the plot requires him or her to be shot but not killed. A scene or two later they're walking around with an arm in a sling but otherwise fine.

Gunsmoke is one of my favorite old shows to watch, but I swear, Matt Dillon gets shot in the left bicep at least three times a season.

[shapeshifter]

9 hours ago, fishcakes said:

Gunsmoke is one of my favorite old shows to watch, but I swear, Matt Dillon gets shot in the left bicep at least three times a season.

Is it always the non-dominant arm of the weapon weilding hero on TV that gets shot, or is that more just Gunsmoke-type shows?

And do the bad guys always get it in the dominant arm (so they won't be weilding weapons again anytime soon)?

And I'm pretty sure it's only on older TV that the bad guy gets shot in the hand holding the gun.

Edited February 24, 2018 by shapeshifter

[Raja]

9 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Is it always the non-dominant arm of the weapon weilding hero on TV that gets shot, or is that more just Gunsmoke-type shows?

And do the bad guys always get it in the dominant arm (so they won't be weilding weapons again anytime soon)?

And I'm pretty sure it's only on older TV that the bad guy gets shot in the hand holding the gun.

I do have the exception, for plot reason when he was introduced Town Marshal Micah Torrance was wounded in his strong arm which reinforced his bravery as he welded his shotgun with his weak arm for the rest of the series to back up The Rifleman. Meanwhile the ex basketball player and switch hitting baseball player Chuck Conners  was able to go left or right handed in his scenes, much like Tom Cruise is able to do in the movies today.

[ooh.boo]

On 2/16/2018 at 8:14 PM, shapeshifter said:

Didn't they sort of do this with Rachel on Friends? 

 

Pam on The Office too

[Maharincess]

Only on TV are all pregnant women either raging bitches, emotional wrecks, eat constantly- 24 hours a day, or are a horrid combination of all three.  I've been pregnant twice, my daughter was pregnant twice, I'm currently the guardian of a pregnant teenager and most of my friends and family have been pregnant at some point.  Not one of them acted like pregnant women do on TV.   I'm not saying that some women don't act like that but it seems like every one on TV does. 

This is on my mind because I'm laid up at the moment and have been watching way too much TV and I saw 3 different shows in one day with wretched pregnant women. 

[Shannon L.]

5 hours ago, Maharincess said:

Only on TV are all pregnant women either raging bitches, emotional wrecks, eat constantly- 24 hours a day, or are a horrid combination of all three. 

They can also never put on their shoes (wasn't a problem for me) and always end up crying about how fat they look (once I groaned when I saw myself in the mirror and that was when my stomach was starting to get big, but hadn't yet taken on that real round shape).

[ChromaKelly]

Has anyone on TV ever had a boring old scheduled c-section or induction? There's always dra-maaaa around childbirth.