Fact vs. Fiction: The Podcast and the Real People

[Meredith Quill]

Discuss Here!

[itsadryheat]

The podcast had me spellbound. The story is almost unbelievable. I can't make peace with  - was she that gullible (desperate) or was he that good of a manipulator. Most likely the perfect storm of both.

I mean, the guy was homeless, out of prison, had nothing the kids didn't like him, and that didn't raise any red flags?

[SparklesBitch]

On 4/9/2018 at 4:21 PM, itsadryheat said:

The podcast had me spellbound. The story is almost unbelievable. I can't make peace with  - was she that gullible (desperate) or was he that good of a manipulator. Most likely the perfect storm of both.

Same here. I was hooked from the very beginning. I think you’re right about it being the perfect storm. He was apparently smooth enough to have an answer for everything and she was determined to see the best in people. According to her, he treated her really well and once she fell in love.....well, I know from personal experience (though nothing like this, luckily) that you can be smart in the head and just so, so stupid in the heart. You can overlook red flags and rationalize like a champ. Then when you get out and look back you think how could I ever have let it get that far????

[Tabbygirl521]

Is this the same Dirty John featured on Dateline awhile back? The woman’s daughters hated the guy so she “set boundaries” at her therapist’s suggestion, basically choosing this dick over her kids to an extent. 

i haven’t  listened to this podcast yet but I can tell I need to. 

[biakbiak]

5 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

Is this the same Dirty John featured on Dateline awhile back? The woman’s daughters hated the guy so she “set boundaries” at her therapist’s suggestion, basically choosing this dick over her kids to an extent. 

i haven’t  listened to this podcast yet but I can tell I need to. 

Yes it's the same one.

[SomeTameGazelle]

On 4/9/2018 at 4:21 PM, itsadryheat said:

 

I mean, the guy was homeless, out of prison, had nothing the kids didn't like him, and that didn't raise any red flags?

Did she know any of this? I thought he successfully passed himself off as an employed doctor, or at least Debra and her kids believed the story for quite a while.

[Tabbygirl521]

21 hours ago, biakbiak said:

Yes it's the same one.

Thank you!

[Irlandesa]

On 4/22/2018 at 6:11 AM, SomeTameGazelle said:

Did she know any of this? I thought he successfully passed himself off as an employed doctor, or at least Debra and her kids believed the story for quite a while.

Not at first, no.  But she went back to him after she found out, IIRC.  She had to really work hard to believe all the things he said that made no sense but it got really bad once she found out the truth yet still went back to him.

Edited May 13, 2018 by Irlandesa

[itsadryheat]

This is such a wild story it is making a debut on the small screen.

https://deadline.com/2018/01/dirty-john-bravo-two-season-straight-to-series-order-true-crime-anthology-oxygen-docuseries-1202274463/

The podcast is really great-lots of details the dateline episode did not include. 

[Empress1]

The LA Times story starts here. I did not see the ending coming. I'm really looking forward to seeing Connie Britton (who has permanent goodwill with me since playing Tami Taylor) as Debra. 

[Neurochick]

I just finished the podcast.  To me, John was a typical addict:  selfish/self centered/self seeking/dishonest/inconsiderate and frightened, with a side of the poor me’s, can’t you see I’m a victim.

It was about getting the next hit for him, he got high on conning people.

I was amazed he could get it up at all, with all the drugs he was taking.  

[DangerousMinds]

Did anyone else watch the first episode Bravo? They made one of the daughters so irritating that I may root for John.

[Neurochick]

I thought the daughter was on point, and she knew her mom was an idiot.  Also, Eric Bana isn’t that hot.

To me, the first episode showed that Debra was like so many women who get dickmatized and don’t care about their own children.

Edited November 17, 2018 by Neurochick

[DangerousMinds]

7 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I thought the daughter was on point, and she knew her mom was an idiot.  Also, Eric Bana isn’t that hot.

To me, the first episode showed that Debra was like so many women who get dickmatized and don’t care about their own children.

I think it was just the extreme princessy obnoxiousness of the one daughter, and especially her painful vocal fry! 

If anyone isn't aware the entire first episode is available now on Bravo.com and on YouTube.

[Neurochick]

The daughters both had extreme vocal fry on the podcast. 

[patty1h]

Watched the first episode today.  I've been waiting for this show, having seen the Dateline story and listening to the podcast.  So far, it's a little more low-key than I expected, but I assume the drama will ramp up as John's 'Mr. Hyde' becomes apparent.  I agree that the one daughter is hard to take.  I understand her having animosity towards John, but the way this actress is pouting and whinging is making me dislike her, even knowing where the story is going.

[Joimiaroxeu]

Quote

 The daughters both had extreme vocal fry on the podcast. 

Their voices made it extremely hard for me to take them seriously. It wasn't until the Dateline episode that it really struck me what a horror the family had been through with this guy. The podcast was amazing and I kept waiting for the catch that never arrived.

Quote

Eric Bana isn’t that hot.

Looks like he's lost a lot of weight. Hope it was for this role and not something unfortunate.

[Starlight925]

The podcast had Bonus Episodes with interviews with Eric Bana and the girls who played the daughters.

Eric Bana did a great job in representing who he thought John really was, getting inside his mind.  Putting a "charm mask" on, and then pulling that mask off.  All while doing it in an American accent.  He said he had a hard time not wanting to give John some heart, something for us to want to root for, as John was simply a cold, controlling, calculating man.

The vocal fry of the girls was from studying the real daughters.  They both have very L.A./Orange County vocal fry.  The girl who played Terra is British, so she did Terra's sweet/vocal fry/annoying voice, in an American accent.

I was glued to the podcast.

[yourmomiseasy]

I think there's more to Debra's family of origin that set her up for this than the podcast covered.  I need to see if I can stream the Dateline episode and possibly do more reading to see if it gets touched on.  For those that didn't listen to the podcast, Debra's older sister got married very quickly at a young age.  The guy ended up being controlling and maybe abusive (I don't remember if it was divulged).  The sister eventually met someone else and left the husband.  The husband put a gun up against the back of her neck and shot her in response to her leaving him.  He then shot himself, but lived.  Debra's mother was all like "I still love you," to him and testified in his defense at his trial and seemed very proud that she felt responsible for him getting such a light sentence.  The DA said he'd never seen a victim thrown under the bus in such a way by her own family before. 

It was also hinted at that Debra had been in previous abusive relationships.

For both daughters to fall into abusive relationships and the mother to defend her daughter's murderer in such a way, I think there's definitely something going on in that family.  There's multiple mentions of being Christian, seeing the best in people, giving second chances, forgiveness, etc. But come on.

[sadie]

I saw the Dateline so I know the basic story and maybe the podcast answers this but: why in the world would a woman with this kind of money not at least do a basic PI background check on him before allowing him to move in with her?. It simply boggles my mind how quickly this guy got her to drop her boundaries and take him in to this extent. She struck me as very dumb and he struck me as a classic sociopath, a deadly combination.

[Ohwell]

I never saw the Dateline episode or listened to the podcast, so I knew nothing about Debra before watching this show.  All I know is, she's a stupid woman who is lucky to be alive, and so are her children.

[Starlight925]

8 hours ago, sadie said:

I saw the Dateline so I know the basic story and maybe the podcast answers this but: why in the world would a woman with this kind of money not at least do a basic PI background check on him before allowing him to move in with her?. It simply boggles my mind how quickly this guy got her to drop her boundaries and take him in to this extent. She struck me as very dumb and he struck me as a classic sociopath, a deadly combination.

As crazy as it is, I know exactly first hand how Debra was so lovestruck she didn't run any background checks.  There's this inherent need to see the good in people, plus the fact that he was causing her oxytocin to rise exponentially, which was an enormous combination of being dumbstruck.

I just got out of a Dirty John relationship last year.  I'm around Debra's age, also divorced, also successful.  The only reason I came to my senses was that my Dirty John wasn't only after my money and home, he was foolish enough to try to keep me on my toes vis a vis other women.  There were always hints of other women, but I never could quite pin anything down.  But it pissed me off to where I finally left him. .  My Dirty John liked to dangle these women in front of me, but had he kept them completely secret, he'd have moved into a house that I was about to buy for us, and I'd have been just like Debra.  I admit it, I'd have screwed up in a massive way.

Spoiler

 In Debra's case, John was smart enough to keep all the other women hidden away, and she only found out about all of it by searching his computer after his death.  She found over 200 women's numbers, all well hidden in his computer.  Since he had cameras installed all over the house, she didn't dare look at it while he was alive.

Edited November 27, 2018 by Sterling

[Barb23]

On 11/11/2018 at 3:03 PM, Neurochick said:

I just finished the podcast.  To me, John was a typical addict:  selfish/self centered/self seeking/dishonest/inconsiderate and frightened, with a side of the poor me’s, can’t you see I’m a victim.

It was about getting the next hit for him, he got high on conning people.

I was amazed he could get it up at all, with all the drugs he was taking.  

I felt so bad for the gal coming out of surgery. She was in so much pain & couldn't get her pain med because he had obviously taken it & not given it to her as was noted in her chart. It's one thing stealing it out of the medicine supply but taking it from a patient in need is just cruel. I know addicts will go to any means to get their stash.

[sadie]

Listening to podcast now. The ep where Debra’s mom talks about forgiving the BIL for murdering her sister makes me want to vomit and explains a lot of Debra’s psychological issues. The mom is one of those people who goes in these “I forgive you” journeys because she thinks it makes HER sound good and IMO powerful because SHE is the one dolling out the pardons so to speak. The guy MURDERED her sister in cold blood, any normal person would say “not my job to forgive you, that’s between you and God”. But she just goes on and on about how she loved him but just didn’t like what he did. Likemurdering her sister was the equivalent of wrecking the family car, oops. What a nut job.  I remember the story of the doctor who had his whole family murdered and when someone asked him if he could forgive the killers his answer was “it is unacceptable to forgive pure evil”. Debra probably never stood a chance with John given her nut bag mom. 

[yourmomiseasy]

The mom is actually proud of being responsible for the light sentence.  If my mom pulled some shit like that you best believe I'd haunt her ass.

[lefawn]

There's a lot of talk in the episode thread about how unlikable and spoiled the daughters are.  Here's my thing.  If the choice is being 1) Granny who defends her daughter's murderer to the point where he basically gets a slap on the wrist for the premeditated murder of your child; 2) Mom who is so desperate for a man that she'll ignore a million red flags and throw away her relationship with her kids for a man she's known eight and a half weeks just so she can have her husband number 5; or 3) a spoiled brat that speaks with a So-Cal vocal fry, hates her mom's new boyfriend/husband (again, husband number *5* and boyfriend, probably, 30?), and breaks a dish when she upset about said dude sleeping over?  Then I'd rather be a number 3 any day.  

Also, if John had attacked Debra in that parking lot, do you thing she'd have had the wherewithal to fight back?  To stab him 13 times?  Including once in the eye?  I don't.   

[Amy Beth]

The one thing I never could put together from the various previous iterations of this story is what happened to the prior husbands, especially the bio dad(s) of her children. Was he the first husband and the rest were step-dads? Or did she have a starter husband and have the kids later? And were they all completely out of the picture, both personally and with any possible stake in her business?

i found it odd that the daughters never once considered getting their father involved, unless he was a complete deadbeat dad.

 

i also wondered why John never once used an alias. 

Edited November 29, 2018 by Amy Beth

[itsadryheat]

4 hours ago, lefawn said:

Also, if John had attacked Debra in that parking lot, do you thing she'd have had the wherewithal to fight back?

Nope, Never Happen. Sadly, I can't envision her even screaming.

Edited November 29, 2018 by itsadryheat
typo

[Starlight925]

3 hours ago, Amy Beth said:

The one thing I never could put together from the various previous iterations of this story is what happened to the prior husbands, especially the bio dad(s) of her children. Was he the first husband and the rest were step-dads? Or did she have a starter husband and have the kids later? And were they all completely out of the picture, both personally and with any possible stake in her business?

i found it odd that the daughters never once considered getting their father involved, unless he was a complete deadbeat dad.

The girls' father (or fathers, as it was never explained in the podcast if they are even true sisters) must not be in the picture at all.

I found it odd, with how amazingly in-depth Gofford's L.A. Times story was, that he never got into that.  Debra must have put up a hand to not talk about the prior husbands.  Perhaps she fears retaliation from them, as she (and her sister, obviously) has such a broken picker, and I'd be willing to bet there was abuse in her past.  It's quite possible they threatened both her and her daughter if exposure occurred.

[yourmomiseasy]

3 hours ago, Amy Beth said:

The one thing I never could put together from the various previous iterations of this story is what happened to the prior husbands, especially the bio dad(s) of her children. Was he the first husband and the rest were step-dads? Or did she have a starter husband and have the kids later? And were they all completely out of the picture, both personally and with any possible stake in her business?

i found it odd that the daughters never once considered getting their father involved, unless he was a complete deadbeat dad.

 

i also wondered why John never once used an alias. 

I assume it's multiple dads because the kids had a lot of years in between them and with 5 husbands I doubt she was married to any one of them for over 10 years.  I can't remember the exact ages of the older ones, but I think they were late 30s.  I might be wrong.  It was mentioned only once.

6 hours ago, lefawn said:

There's a lot of talk in the episode thread about how unlikable and spoiled the daughters are.  Here's my thing.  If the choice is being 1) Granny who defends her daughter's murderer to the point where he basically gets a slap on the wrist for the premeditated murder of your child; 2) Mom who is so desperate for a man that she'll ignore a million red flags and throw away her relationship with her kids for a man she's known eight and a half weeks just so she can have her husband number 5; or 3) a spoiled brat that speaks with a So-Cal vocal fry, hates her mom's new boyfriend/husband (again, husband number *5* and boyfriend, probably, 30?), and breaks a dish when she upset about said dude sleeping over?  Then I'd rather be a number 3 any day.  

Also, if John had attacked Debra in that parking lot, do you thing she'd have had the wherewithal to fight back?  To stab him 13 times?  Including once in the eye?  I don't.   

I disliked the entire family except the nephew and maybe the kids that were not on the podcast.  I'm sure if the nephew talked more I'd dislike him too and would have probably disliked the other kids.  I've got more than enough hate to go around.

[TexasGal]

I started listening to the podcast this morning.  It's crazy how Debra still sounds all giggly and moony when she's talking about him.  Like, really lady?  I'd be pissed and embarrassed. 

[Neurochick]

On 11/26/2018 at 3:02 PM, sadie said:

I saw the Dateline so I know the basic story and maybe the podcast answers this but: why in the world would a woman with this kind of money not at least do a basic PI background check on him before allowing him to move in with her?. It simply boggles my mind how quickly this guy got her to drop her boundaries and take him in to this extent. She struck me as very dumb and he struck me as a classic sociopath, a deadly combination.

Because she was sexually attracted to him.  Because she thought he was hot and he made her toes curl.  Because of that she didn't give a shit what a worm he was, he was hot and that was it.  

[CruiseDiva]

I read the articles, but haven't listened to the podcast. How can I find it? Can I listen to it on the computer?

[Showthyme]

On 11/26/2018 at 1:02 PM, sadie said:

I saw the Dateline so I know the basic story and maybe the podcast answers this but: why in the world would a woman with this kind of money not at least do a basic PI background check on him before allowing him to move in with her?. It simply boggles my mind how quickly this guy got her to drop her boundaries and take him in to this extent. She struck me as very dumb and he struck me as a classic sociopath, a deadly combination.

Successful women think that their instincts are correct and that they know more about people than they really do. They often contribute it to their success.

Don't be hating on me. I am a successful woman myself. I have just seen a few Debras who are so gullible when it comes to a man who tells them what they want to hear.

I didn't see the Dateline episode or listen to the podcast. I feel sick just reading here and seeing the Bravo episode.

[Starlight925]

On 12/1/2018 at 4:44 PM, CruiseDiva said:

I read the articles, but haven't listened to the podcast. How can I find it? Can I listen to it on the computer?

If you google "Dirty John podcast", you'll find a lot of ways to listen to it.  
It's on iTunes.  I listened on my iPhone app, the one that comes on the phone (called "Podcasts" if you have an iPhone).

It's free, and it's available on spotify as well as other sites.

Be sure to also listen to the 3 bonus podcasts at the end of the series, which include interviews with the cast, etc.

[Starlight925]

On 12/1/2018 at 8:36 PM, Showthyme said:

Successful women think that their instincts are correct and that they know more about people than they really do. They often contribute it to their success.

Don't be hating on me. I am a successful woman myself. I have just seen a few Debras who are so gullible when it comes to a man who tells them what they want to hear.

I didn't see the Dateline episode or listen to the podcast. I feel sick just reading here and seeing the Bravo episode.

I'm a Debra myself, and I was with my own Dirty John last year.  Had I not left him, he'd have broken me by now, both financially and emotionally.

I was stupid enough to come this close to buying a nice house for us to live in, as well as lots of other stuff.

My DJ was stupid enough to play cell-phone hiding games, which included messaging other women, dating sites, etc., and it pissed me off so much that I ended things.  

One month after I ended it, he lost his job (in his family's business!  they fired him, ha!).  He'd have been living with me, in a new house that I was about to buy for us, and I'd have been on the hook for the whole thing, and I wouldn't have been able, legally to get him out.  

I have to admit that I never would have ended it, as I was so "in love".  Had he been smarter, and truly hidden the messaging, the other women, all the stuff that made me suspicious, I'd still be dealing with that jackass.

In my case, I found a therapist who deals with certain personality disorders, and it was me, trying to "fix" my childhood from the parent who has the exact same symptoms as the Dirty John guy.

So yeah, I get how it can happen.

Edited December 3, 2018 by Sterling

[CruiseDiva]

9 hours ago, Sterling said:

If you google "Dirty John podcast", you'll find a lot of ways to listen to it.  

Thank you! 

[QuinnM]

I have googled and tivo’d.  I would like to see the Dateline about this. Since I’ve heard the podcast, I would love to see the players for real.  My problem with googling is I keep getting ALL Datelines, not this one.  Any assistance would be appreciated.

I loved the crazy lady, ex who broke into the house.  That is exactly who she was in my head when I listened to the podcast!

[Pickles]

24 minutes ago, QuinnM said:

I have googled and tivo’d.  I would like to see the Dateline about this. Since I’ve heard the podcast, I would love to see the players for real.  My problem with googling is I keep getting ALL Datelines, not this one.  Any assistance would be appreciated.

I loved the crazy lady, ex who broke into the house.  That is exactly who she was in my head when I listened to the podcast!

On the podcast, did they say if the crazy lady was a "friend" of john's? It just seems so random for someone to break in and then John says let's get cameras! Did he arrange for that crazy person to be there?

 

I saw the Dateline episode, but would like to see it again. Seems like it was on a long time ago and it would interesting to view it again, since this is on Bravo now.

[Starlight925]

2 hours ago, QuinnM said:

I have googled and tivo’d.  I would like to see the Dateline about this. Since I’ve heard the podcast, I would love to see the players for real.  My problem with googling is I keep getting ALL Datelines, not this one.  Any assistance would be appreciated.

I loved the crazy lady, ex who broke into the house.  That is exactly who she was in my head when I listened to the podcast!

Google John Meehan and Debra Newell, and you'll get a lot of hits with info.  She was also interviewed by Dr. Oz, which you can find as well.

Re:  the crazy lady who broke into the house:  they never confirmed it, but Debra swears she saw John smirking at her.  It's believed that she & John knew each other, and he possibly paid her to "break in" and act crazy so that he could have an excuse to camera-up the house.  Immediately after the "break-in", he told Debra they needed security cameras all over the house, and all over her business, for "protection".  Of course this meant he was able to watch Debra 24/7 on his phone, which kept her from looking in his stuff and computer.

[QuinnM]

30 minutes ago, Sterling said:

Google John Meehan and Debra Newell, and you'll get a lot of hits with info.  She was also interviewed by Dr. Oz, which you can find as well.

True but originally not the Dateline.   However so many people must be googling it that the Dateline link is at the top now.  So I know that this series is not really getting much love on Rottentomatoes but there are enough people fascinated by it that Google is getting major hits.

[laprin]

On 11/28/2018 at 1:09 PM, yourmomiseasy said:

The mom is actually proud of being responsible for the light sentence.  If my mom pulled some shit like that you best believe I'd haunt her ass.

I just finished episode 4 of the podcast (Forgiveness). It left me angry. I would go so far as to agree with the prosecutor that this family abandoned their daughter. Plenty of people forgive criminals and still believe that justice should be served. It’s called accountability.

Debra continues to lose sympathy points. 

[Starlight925]

There was a question on Episode 2 board about why John left his papers in the house, easily findable.

Since it's a spoiler, I'll post it here:

No one is really sure why John left his papers to be found, but it was surmised that it was akin to a criminal keeping "trophy" items, in that he sort of wore all of those arrests as a badge of honor.  There's a website where women can post stuff about bad guys that they date, and John Meehan had a huge page filled with complaints which, if you freeze the frame, he had printed out.  The theory is that he was "proud" of how much stuff he had pulled over on women over the years.

[blackdahlia]

On 17/11/2018 at 4:49 PM, Neurochick said:

I thought the daughter was on point, and she knew her mom was an idiot.  Also, Eric Bana isn’t that hot.

To me, the first episode showed that Debra was like so many women who get dickmatized and don’t care about their own children.

Eric Bana is absolutely gorgeous!!! If the real John looked anything like him I totally get Debra falling for him.

[Starlight925]

31 minutes ago, blackdahlia said:

Eric Bana is absolutely gorgeous!!! If the real John looked anything like him I totally get Debra falling for him.

 

The real John Meehan!

[teapot]

I started listening to the podcast today at lunch.  Is Debra's & the daughter's parts from their court testimony?  

[Starlight925]

7 minutes ago, teapot said:

I started listening to the podcast today at lunch.  Is Debra's & the daughter's parts from their court testimony?  

I think that all the real people interviewed were taken from interviews by Christopher Goffard, the writer of the L.A. Times Story that spurred the podcast.

[QuinnM]

2 hours ago, teapot said:

I started listening to the podcast today at lunch.  Is Debra's & the daughter's parts from their court testimony? 

And remember that Jacqueline is now Veronica for the show.  The real daughter, Jacqueline, did not want her name used.

[Starlight925]

1 hour ago, QuinnM said:

And remember that Jacqueline is now Veronica for the show.  The real daughter, Jacqueline, did not want her name used.

Yes, Veronica = Jacqueline.

And Toby = Shad.

[lezlers]

On ‎11‎/‎29‎/‎2018 at 11:48 AM, TexasGal said:

I started listening to the podcast this morning.  It's crazy how Debra still sounds all giggly and moony when she's talking about him.  Like, really lady?  I'd be pissed and embarrassed. 

Right???  This is the main reason I will never NOT hate Debra.  I couldn't imagine in a million years sounding like that when describing the man who tried to murder my child.