IMO something like Carousel is even more messed up with the whole slap/kiss confluence. In Seven Brides, at least although the brothers act like dolts, other than the kidnapping they are basically kind and respectful with the brides.
Millie puts up with a lot, but she isn't afraid to speak up for herself, and she puts Adam in his place repeatedly. She makes the best of each situation as she comes to it -- she decided she was better off marrying Adam than working in town, so she married him. She found the brothers uncivilized and she made them behave. She didn't want to be stuck looking after 7 men all by herself and she influenced the 6 younger brothers to look for wives of their own. (In the story the movie was based on, it was actually Millie who masterminded the kidnapping; in the movie she is innocent of that crime.) When the brothers arrive with the kidnapped brides, Millie kicks them all out of the house so that the women will be safe and secure (and to punish the brothers for doing it). The movie is pretty clear that Millie is tough and capable, and she gets what she wants in the end.
It's impossible to defend the idea that kidnapping a woman will yield you a willing bride. However the movie does mitigate this idea to the extent possible by punishing the men for the kidnapping (making them sleep in the barn) and making sure that the women are safe and protected so that when they interact with the men it's clear it's because they want to (and that Millie would help protect them if they didn't want to).