S07.E18: One Life To Live

[MaddyMaeboxerbabe]

24 minutes ago, Quita said:

I'm sorry, but these are the faces of 50 year olds. And I say that as someone who is 40+.

Hey I am thisclose to 60 and I MIGHT look her on my worse days :).  Only age wise.  I do take a daily shower I promise!

[Quita]

4 hours ago, Quita said:

I'm sorry, but these are the faces of 50 year olds. And I say that as someone who is 40+.

 

 

4 hours ago, MaddyMaeboxerbabe said:

Hey I am thisclose to 60 and I MIGHT look her on my worse days :).  Only age wise.  I do take a daily shower I promise!

LOL! I'm sure you look great! And I mean no offense to those 50 and over. (I'll be there soon enough.) I'm guessing Cate's around 26 and Baby Huey is maybe late 20's/early 30's - I have no idea. At that age, you should be fresh faced and bright, and at least have some energy. Not looking like the life has literally been sucked out of you. If they look this hard now, I shudder to think what they're going to look like in 50 years!

Edited April 11, 2018 by Quita
Completing my thought

[FlowerofCarnage]

44 minutes ago, Quita said:

I'm sorry, but these are the faces of 50 year olds. And I say that as someone who is 40+.

Good Lord! Cate looks like a thumb with hair! 

[FairyDusted]

13 minutes ago, FlowerofCarnage said:

Good Lord! Cate looks like a thumb with hair! 

LOL! Can't get rid of the two boxes but, fuck if it doesn't deserve TWO!  

13 minutes ago, FlowerofCarnage said:

Good Lord! Cate looks like a thumb with hair! 

 

3 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Cate said to Tyler when he asked her what she was going to do now that she was home. Her response:

"I'm going to see a therapist once a week. I will then see their psychiatrist. I will be getting a different phone with NO SOCIAL MEDIA ON IT."

I guess it is established she is NOT doing her post-rehab per the professional's orders since she is on social media non-stop. 

Cate, go to hell. No one has time with your faux mental issues. The only mental issues you suffer from are the sick mind games you play on Tyler and your daughter. You need to be put away for a long time in some institute where you can truly be evaluated and handled properly without the luxury of being catered to. What you are doing to your daughter will scar her for life. 

I was stunned she curled up in a ball in that gonna be beautiful bathroom. IMO. That was so for the cameras!

3 hours ago, TGinKY said:

Larry HAD to be straight up drunk when he was talking about Ryan and Mac helping other couples.  When Jenn started crying I am sure it was from extreme embarrassment.

I felt so bad for Jen even though I know she likely has enabled Ryan his whole life. I saw this my whole life. Ya know what?? Ma buried 2 of my sibs. That's real shit.

Someone (sorry been reading all day) mentioned Ryan could be in withdrawal. Very well could be true. I've never wanted to die so badly as when my body required the drug but no longer helped the problem. When I saw he him though he could have been jonseing maybe. 

I'll be back. Roseanne and the housewives tonight!

[monicageller]

I'm only 15 minutes in and my eyes hurt from rolling them so much.

ETA:

Cate: 'You're awesome.'

Tyler: 'I know.'

THESE PEOPLE. JESUS GOD.

Edited April 11, 2018 by monicageller

[GreatKazu]

1 hour ago, Quita said:

 

LOL! I'm sure you look great! And I mean no offense to those 50 and over. (I'll be there soon enough.) I'm guessing Cate's around 26 and Baby Huey is maybe late 20's/early 30's - I have no idea. At that age, you should be fresh faced and bright, and have at least some energy. Not looking like the life has literally been sucked out of you. If they look this hard now, I shudder to think what they're going to look like in 50 years!

Catelynn already looks like her mother, April. The only difference is their weight. It is like they are twins: 

[Quita]

2 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Catelynn already looks like her mother, April. The only difference is their weight. It is like they are twins: 

Wow!! Well, this just proves my point.

[Kalamityjayne]

3 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Catelynn already looks like her mother, April. The only difference is their weight. It is like they are twins: 

Maci too! My daughter was like  “whoa I thought  that Maci got her hair cut” during that lunch scene or whatever with her mom.

im feeling pretty good watching these girls a decadeish  younger than me looking so rough and way older than i.  My skin care routine is inconsistent too. 

[KittyKat133]

I am 100% team Tyler! What an amazing man he actually turned out to be! I don’t know too many men that would be the sole caregiver of their child for six weeks so their wife could go to a spa....I mean “treatment” just got her to come home and say her meds are not right and she has to go back! How SELFISH! I get she has problems but she also has a baby at home. She didn’t even TRY! Her daughter is gonna hate her for leaving her and it’s gonna take a long time to repair that’s abandonment feeling nova is going to have? She’s gone for six weeks and she’s ALREADY screaming at her daughter to take a f-in nap???? Give me a break. 

Tyler has every single right to be pissed! I feel bad for him! 

[KittyKat133]

Also Cait says she’s so traumatized by Carly but yet she has a perfectly happy healthy three year old at home that needs her and yet she chooses to turn her back on her. I feel like she dislikes nova for giving her post partum. It’s not the fucking babies fault. You don’t associate trauma with having a baby. I think that’s a super messed up thing the spa ...I mean treatment center... put in her head. Oh sure, great idea! This girls fucked yo by her parents let’s have her resent her daughter for being born and causing cait trauma! Give me a break. My best friend had the worst shittiest upbringing. Both Mom and Dad adducts, poor etc. and she is the best most well adjusted person I know! Just because you have trauma in your life does not give uou an excuse to run away from your family when they need you. Keep in mind cait just went to a treatment the year Before that! 

[Marisagf]

9 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Baby Huey's wrinkly area around his eye that I pointed out last night looking like the skin around a rectum. Add that to the comments here about his mouth looking like an anus and you have one big Sasquatch hemorrhoid. 

@Brooklynista you brought up the editing about Cate and Tyler's scene regarding Nova. One thing I did notice was how the editors spliced one scene of Cate looking like her usual self while driving and the next scene has her walking through the door after her trip from the spa. She walks in all happy and smiling with her hair and face done which is not how she looked when she was shown driving seconds before: 

 

How would Cate be driving herself home from the airport in her family van?  Did they park it there for six weeks?  Makes no sense.

Also, the Kousin Krystyl cooking with Amber scene has been used for more than one storyline.  You can really notice the editing when you look at the changes in their hairstyles and clothes. 

That scene with Cate was probably a later take.  

[Calm81]

14 hours ago, ghoulina said:

My daughter wasn't potty-trained until a month or so before her 4th birthday. She is on the spectrum. I tried with her at 2, and earlier in her 3rd year....it was like hitting a brick wall, so I just stopped. When she got it, she got it quickly and it was so easy. 

I bet that Cate her zero time for potty training, but Nova has often appeared a bit delayed, to me. I'd give her some more time before I'd worry about it. 

Although, when I used to teach daycare, kids could not move from the 2-year-old class to the 3-year-old class if they weren't potty trained. So I wonder what class she's actually in. Also, it's possible she is potty trained at daycare, but not at home. I've seen that. I had this wonderful little girl in my class one year who was fully potty trained as far as I was concerned. No issues. But her mother INSISTED I put a pull-up on her before she came to pick her up. I wagered that mom was just too lazy to stop if her daughter needed to go. 

By daughter is on the spectrum, too. Her speech therapist said for me to not try potty training her until she can speak. She just turned 3 (a couple months younger than Nova) and training her is like you said “hitting a brick wall” but I have some programs in the works that I’m hoping my get her more engaged with certain milestones. She’s obsessed with horses so I reached out to a facility that can do equine therapy.

I agree! Once she gets something she gets it fast so I’m hoping the potty training will happen like a fart in the wind. ?

I often wondered if Nova is on the spectrum, too. Not to pick her a part because I think she’s adorable and has the same love of horses as my little girl (I keep spotting the same toys and bed spread my daughter has in the episodes and it’s placed a soft spot for Nova - I wish her mom appreciated her ?). I just have noticed a few things but nothing serious, she needs parents that have note patience and time for her (you’d thing two parents without jobs had all of the time in the world) but as it stands, Tyler is pretty much a single dad.

[Mothra]

10 hours ago, Jennifersdc said:

Why do so many of these girls coddled by MTV since their teens -  claim to have all sorts of mental illness. Farrah (worst PTSD ever seen according to her lunatic Dad - like she was in Vietnam or Fallujah), Amber, Kailyn, Jenelle...

I know, right?  It's as if it never occurred to them that other people, normal people living normal lives, deal with varying degrees of mental illness every day, and have all their lives.  The TMs suddenly have money and access to the best of the best in mental health care and feel like they are the only women on earth to have been overwhelmed by life, the only ones who grew up in abusive households--and I didn't quote your point about the severity of their "abuse" being on a par with returning soldiers, but I agree with you.  No wonder they are flummoxed by the "haters" who point out that people, especially moms, have dealt with this shit (and worse) from time immemorial and somehow have been able to provide nurture and daily care for their children.  It's as if the "haters" were creatures from another planet who have no idea of what TM life is really like.

It made me sick to hear Cate yelling at Nova to lie down and go to sleep because it was naptime (because everyone knows that the way to get a child in the mood to go to sleep is to yell at them).  I would have thought that coming home from a lengthy stay at a spa to a child who was desperate to have you with her, Cate would at the very least have gone in there and gotten into bed with Nova, cherishing time with her, comforting her and rubbing her back to calm her down.  And if Nova didn't go to sleep, being grateful for time to lie there and read a book to her, or tell her a story, or ask her about day care--something, anything to have time alone with that precious child.  I mean, what else did Cate have to do?  Refresh her pink hair color?

With advances in birth control, one is justified in wondering:  if you didn't want a child to love and care for, why did you have a child?  And why in hell did you want to have another one?

[KittyKat133]

My daughter just turned three 2 weeks ago. She has no delays and she’s just a stubborn kid who won’t use the potty. She was almost fully trained at 2.5 and then her baby brother was born and she regressed. It’s not abnormal for a young three year old to still be in pull ups.

Sorry turned 3

[Chickabiddy]

16 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

btw do they offer any grooming classes at that fancy spa..I mean rehab??  Cate looks like she could do with a full make over.  That hair...what can I say.

All the makeover Cate really needs is a good bath, a decent diet and a reasonable exercise regime. They can paint her up with dye and shellac her with face paint nine ways until Tuesday, but it will always only be a cover up -lipstick on a pig - if you will. ;-) No amount of make up or redo can hide her poor lifestyle. As posted upthread, girlfriend looks 50. 

As for Nova and potty training, it's a muscle-mind connection that just sort of has to click with kids - and all kids have their owns rhythms with this. It's not necessarily a sign of anything wrong if they are slow to learn or have accidendents.

HOWEVER - I find Nova quite delayed for a 3 year old - particularly one in daycare/preschool. Kids in such programs tend to learn alot from other kids and are usually more precocious than kids who aren't.  Between her poor speech, reliance on a bottle, and potty problems, I think her parents infantilize her too much. There is no structure, no discipline, no stimulation, and above all, no high expectations in her home for what she can achieve or what she is capable of.  I always treated my one and only child like a reasonable, intelligent human being who could understand concepts if they were explained gently and simply enough.  I never  spoke to him in baby talk or or just said, "because I said so." It really is amazing what you can get out of kids if you treat them with a little respect, provide regular stimulation, and demand a certain level of comportment  Nova's parents treat her like a pet. 

On the subject of pets, did anyone notice the difference in Cate's good bye to her child and her good bye to her dogs? With Nova she was stone cold and with the dogs she was blubbering like she would never see them again.

Edited April 11, 2018 by Chickabiddy

[lezlers]

I just watched.  Holy shit.  I've always stuck up for Cate in the past but FUCK HER.  She barely gave Nova a hug when she walked in after being gone for SIX WEEKS.  My heart broke watching poor little Nova realize her mom was abandoning her yet again and panicking about "going to school."  And Cate just coldly says she can "manage?"  She's THREE.  Your self absorbed ass is sitting there talking about abandonment issues from your mother while doing the same thing to little Nova!  Just because you're not a drunk doesn't mean you're not fucking her up! I was applauding Tyler for finally telling his sister how he really feels.  I don't blame him. Cate couldn't even muster a "thank you" when he was mentioning he was handling a lot while she was gone.  It's all about Cate.  I also looked up that treatment center in Tucson.  The place is a damn resort.  I'd want to run away there, too.

Amber is just funny. You saw your kid three times in three MONTHS.  Go ahead and move to CA, honey.  Leah won't know the difference.

[dorcastrilling]

I cannot believe I am saying this, but Tyler is too good for Cate. I am not a huge kid person but even I was horrified by the way she handled Nova's drop off. That poor little girl not wanting togo into scholl because she knew her mother was going to be leaving her. Cateis Amber/Jenelle levelof shit.

[A-Lo]

15 hours ago, MrsBestes said:

Oh, I completely agree. The type of program you described would probably be ideal for the situation, but Cate is only focused on herself right now. I was just responding to someone who thought Cate said she only saw a therapist once a week in inpatient rehab. I’m pretty sure she said she saw a psychiatrist once a week. In your experience, do people in inpatient meet with a therapist/counselor daily? 

Absolutely!  It may not be in a one-one setting, it may be a group, but each client is receiving some form of therapy daily.

[Mothra]

I think Nova is not interested in being potty trained, or in losing her bottle, because she is regressing, as some kids do when a new baby enters the family.  There's no new baby (whew) but she is not being allowed to be as dependent as she needs to be right now.  She is infantilizing herself, imo, and Tyler and Cate are too ignorant to pay attention.  Attention is what she wants and needs, desperately.  Children regress because they want the kind of attention they got when they were babies--diapers and bottles and little intelligible speech.  When my son was three and not potty trained (he was very interested in how the toilet worked but not in using it), the pediatrician said to me "I think it's time for you to raise your expectations."

Tyler and Cate have no expectations of Nova. Or rather their expectations are fucked up--like that a three-year-old should be fine with her mother appearing and disappearing at random.  They don't spend enough time with her--and I'm not talking about being in the same room with her but glob help me in being more like Maci and Taylor and actually engaging with her while she plays--to know their child.  "She'll manage" sounds a lot like Farrah's "As a two-year old, Sophia has her own little life."

[alexa]

Can anyone share a basic summary of what Tyler said to his sister (re; finally venting about his frustrations).  I am no longer watching but am curious what he finally came out and said about the Cate situation.  Thank you!

[chuckity]

17 hours ago, FairyDusted said:

I haven't gotten to the end yet so please forgive me if this has been answered. In relation to Ryan's complaints I am going to say HELL YES! Mack even gave him the side eye in the car cuz he still looked high AF! on something!  

I don't think he was high ... I think he was dope sick.

[mamadrama]

Re: Nova's pitiful little "Mommy will pick me up" from daycare...

Our youngest son died unexpectedly in 2010. One week after HIS funeral, my mother-in-law died. (Cancer, and she'd been in Hospice, so even though she was only 50 it wasn't an unexpected death.) My husband is from England and his whole family is over there. They're also super weird, unlikable, and general pains in the asses. Basically his father told him that they only wanted HIM to come for the funeral, that our surviving son and I could just stay at home because we weren't "real" family. Although I was paying for our travel arrangements and we were going to stay in a hotel so they didn't even have to see us if they didn't want to (I just wanted to be there for my husband), they put up such a fuss that we didn't go. So there was my husband, having just buried his youngest 2 weeks earlier, getting ready to get on a plane to leave me and his other child to fly across the ocean. Some of you all know me in "real" life and, if you do, you know what a freakishly close relationship my husband and I have with each other. Even my kids say, "Daddy wouldn't even know how to breathe without Mommy around" but it kind of goes both ways. I am sure we need therapy for it but, oh well, one thing at a time. Now I wasn't there so I don't know exactly what happened but my mother says that she went out to start the car to take him to the airport and that my husband kind of hesitated in the doorway. At that point our 3-year-old went up to him and said, "Daddy, do you promise you'll be back?" She says that my husband broke down into tears and she was like, "You want me to get your suitcase back out of the car for you?" And she did. He missed his mom's funeral because he could not stand to leave us; he could NOT be away from his kid or from me-not at that time. We've been paying for that with his family ever since. (Seriously. After a bunch of name calling and other shenanigans, including a bill for $10,000 that my father-in-law sent my husband for not being "the son he wanted", we had to cut them off completely. Haven't spoken in almost 8 years.) 

I totally understood why my husband didn't go and I fully supported him. If it had been switched, I would've done the same. In Cate's shoes, Nova would've broken my heart. No way could I have left after that scene in the car. No way. Hell, I sometimes have trouble telling my kids goodbye when they leave for school in the morning. I've lost a child and I have a bit of separation anxiety with my others. I'm a little surprised that Cate, who has unresolved issues or giving up Carly, doesn't have at least a little of the same. I think it just goes to show how emotionally unattached she can be to Nova. 

Edited April 11, 2018 by mamadrama

[mamadrama]

8 minutes ago, chuckity said:

I don't think he was high ... I think he was dope sick.

I think you're right. His attitude screamed withdrawal flu to me, from his glazed eyes to his trouble with the temperature and saying that he "hurt." 

[Lemur]

11 minutes ago, chuckity said:

I don't think he was high ... I think he was dope sick.

This.  Definitely withdraw going on there. 

Y'all know what the perfect cure for that is?  A baby.  It's the cure for all of your emotional, psychological and family problems.  Babies - fixing the world, all the time. 

(/sarcasm)

[Chickabiddy]

19 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

I'm a little surprised that Cate, who has unresolved issues or giving up Carly, doesn't have at least a little of the same. I think it just goes to show how emotionally unattached she can be to Nova. 

I really think that Cate is a full-blown narcissist. Doesn't Narcissism sometimes develop after serious childhood trauma that affects a person's sense of self and self worth? She is not attached to anyone. Sure, she loves dogs, but that's because they provide unconditional love and devotion - and require minimal upkeep.  She is attached to Tyler because he is her "narcissistic supply" - feeds her neediness and her ego because for her he is a real catch. She is not attached to Nova because Nova is more work and effort than benefit to her. She loved being pregnant because all the attention was on her and her GD. I am sure Cate misses Carly because she can't have her. She is attached to the drama/trauma of "losing" Carly because of all the attention it gets her. Her Carly trauma is a tool - like her depression and anxiety - to help her avoid any work, responsibility, or accountability to anyone. 

Do we really think that she would treat Carly any differently than she treats Nova? AKA NotCarly. Carly is the unattainable prize that is is so appealing because it is out of reach. Exhibit A as proof is the horse Cate was dying to have.  Once she got the horse, she lost all interest in. Tyler and NotCarly have spent more time with that damn horse than Cate has. 

Carly really won the lottery  and dodged a bullet. 

I would really find it fascinating to see Carly and NotCarly in 20 years to compare their life paths. Although not twins, they are full sibs and the nature vs. nurture debate would be interesting to observe. 

Edited April 11, 2018 by Chickabiddy

[Pepper Mostly]

2 hours ago, Chickabiddy said:

All the makeover Cate really needs is a good bath, a decent diet and a reasonable exercise regime. They can paint her up with dye and shellac her with face paint nine ways until Tuesday, but it will always only be a cover up -lipstick on a pig - if you will. ;-) No amount of make up or redo can hide her poor lifestyle. As posted upthread, girlfriend looks 50. 

As for Nova and potty training, it's a muscle-mind connection that just sort of has to click with kids - and all kids have their owns rhythms with this. It's not necessarily a sign of anything wrong if they are slow to learn or have accidendents.

HOWEVER - I find Nova quite delayed for a 3 year old - particularly one in daycare/preschool. Kids in such programs tend to learn alot from other kids and are usually more precocious than kids who aren't.  Between her poor speech, reliance on a bottle, and potty problems, I think her parents infantilize her too much. There is no structure, no discipline, no stimulation, and above all, no high expectations in her home for what she can achieve or what she is capable of.  I always treated my one and only child like a reasonable, intelligent human being who could understand concepts if they were explained gently and simply enough.  I never  spoke to him in baby talk or or just said, "because I said so." It really is amazing what you can get out of kids if you treat them with a little respect, provide regular stimulation, and demand a certain level of comportment  Nova's parents treat her like a pet. 

On the subject of pets, did anyone notice the difference in Cate's good bye to her child and her good bye to her dogs? With Nova she was stone cold and with the dogs she was blubbering like she would never see them again.

I concur with every word of this post. I think Nova's speech and language development is concerning. Who talks to her, who plays with her? The poor child is feral.

And Cate is completely checked out of motherhood. Her yelling at Nova to "TAKE A NAP" was over the top. Maybe, at 3, she doesn't need a nap in the afternoon any more? My son was the greatest napper in the world as a baby and toddler--3 hours every afternoon, like clockwork. Then one day, at 3, he went to sleep for 30 minutes, and that was it. A few months later, good bye afternoon nap! Its like flipping a switch with some kids. Cate doesn't even trouble to understand her daughter's development or observe what she needs. Putting her down with milk isn't too smart either. If she has to have something, give her water!

And still, Cate and Tyler think that Carly is going to run, weeping, into their arms on her 18th birthday.

[TresGatos]

19 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

The best was Amber's line " I put myself in prison. What other moms do you know who would do that?"

Ma Barker? Naw...Ma Barker fought for her kids to the bitter end.

[Chickabiddy]

2 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I concur with every word of this post. I think Nova's speech and language development is concerning. Who talks to her, who plays with her? The poor child is feral.

And Cate is completely checked out of motherhood. Her yelling at Nova to "TAKE A NAP" was over the top. Maybe, at 3, she doesn't need a nap in the afternoon any more? My son was the greatest napper in the world as a baby and toddler--3 hours every afternoon, like clockwork. Then one day, at 3, he went to sleep for 30 minutes, and that was it. A few months later, good bye afternoon nap! Its like flipping a switch with some kids. Cate doesn't even trouble to understand her daughter's development or observe what she needs. Putting her down with milk isn't too smart either. If she has to have something, give her water!

And still, Cate and Tyler think that Carly is going to run, weeping, into their arms on her 18th birthday.

Concur with all yours, too. :-) 

And if Nova has zero stimulation or physical activity of any kind, she may not be tired out enough for a nap. And giving her a liquid right before bed/naptime is not going to help the potty training problem at all. 

[eskimo]

I actually believe Cate has anxiety and depression, I don't think she's making it up at all.  I do think she's expecting a miracle fix without work once she gets home, though.  I also wonder, consciously or subconsciously, if she really kind of likes leaving Tyler on his own to remodel the new house, run the business, care for Nova, and all the other things that go into running a household.  Underneath it all maybe she's thinking 'fuck you for making me give up Carly, now you suffer'.  Plus all those times he shot his fat mouth off about B&T and caused problems there.  She didn't stand up to him during that time though, and it was a time Cate should have stood up to Tyler.  And now is a time Tyler needs to stand up to Cate.  They just do not deal with conflicts between them, they tiptoe around it and then piss each other off in other ways.  Very passive-aggressive.  I'm not saying that's what's happening, just a thought I had.  Sucks for Nova though, because she's the one who will pay the most.  And Cate needs to think about how it's going to feel when they split and Nova wants to be with Tyler over her because their bond will be stronger.  By then there will be no Arizona rehab money left.  If they try for another child, they are absolutely nuts.  

Edited April 11, 2018 by eskimo
to clarify

[Snarky McSnarky]

Larry's train metaphor almost hit the mark, but he really needed to tell Ryan that they are all on the same GRAVY train together, and if Ryan crashes, so does the rest of the clan.  Bye bye MTV money.  Not that Ryan was paying any attention to Larry anyway.

[eskimo]

2 minutes ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

Larry's train metaphor almost hit the mark, but he really needed to tell Ryan that they are all on the same GRAVY train together, and if Ryan crashes, so does the rest of the clan.  Bye bye MTV money.  Not that Ryan was paying any attention to Larry anyway.

Ryan was so irritated by that whole conversation.  Or should I say monologue. 

[GreatKazu]

Quote

And Cate just coldly says she can "manage?" 

Imagine someone saying that to Cate?

[SuzWhat]

1 hour ago, alexa said:

Can anyone share a basic summary of what Tyler said to his sister (re; finally venting about his frustrations).  I am no longer watching but am curious what he finally came out and said about the Cate situation.  Thank you!

He expressed frustration that she was only interested in in-patient therapy.   He or his sister said she should try out patient therapy (I think).  I know Tyler expressed that to Cate too.   She was set against it.  Every option he put out there (get meds adjusted first, see a therapist more often) Cate shot down.    Tyler was very angry at Cate's response when he asked "what about Nova missing you".  Cate replied "she'll manage".   Tyler said to his sister "she's 3 fucking years old. She can't manage anything".  

Both he and his sister said it reminded them of their childhood with Butch.  Butch would say "you have a good mother so it is not so bad that I'm off doing drugs" I guess.   They likened Cate's blase attitude about Nova to her knowing that she is in good hands with Tyler so she can take a "break".   I think he said something like "I can't take a break".  

Damn this show for making me agree with TYLER of all people.  

Edited April 11, 2018 by SuzWhat

[alexa]

8 minutes ago, SuzWhat said:

He expressed frustration that she was only interested in in-patient therapy.   He or his sister said she should try out patient therapy (I think).  I know Tyler expressed that to Cate too.   She was set against it.  Every option he put out there (get meds adjusted first, see a therapist more often) Cate shot down.    Tyler was very angry at Cate's response when he asked "what about Nova missing you".  Cate replied "she'll manage".   Tyler said to his sister "she's 3 fucking years old. She can't manage anything".  

Both he and his sister said it reminded them of their childhood with Butch.  Butch would say "you have a good mother so it is not so bad that I'm off doing drugs" I guess.   They likened Cate's blase attitude about Nova to her knowing that she is in good hands with Tyler so she can take a "break".   I think he said something like "I can't take a break".  

Damn this show for making me agree with TYLER of all people.  

Thanks so much... I am very impressed with Tyler for this (I feel like you--I can't believe I said that!)

[druzy]

1 hour ago, alexa said:

Can anyone share a basic summary of what Tyler said to his sister (re; finally venting about his frustrations).  I am no longer watching but am curious what he finally came out and said about the Cate situation.  Thank you!

[A-Lo]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

Re: Nova's pitiful little "Mommy will pick me up" from daycare...

Our youngest son died unexpectedly in 2010. One week after HIS funeral, my mother-in-law died. (Cancer, and she'd been in Hospice, so even though she was only 50 it wasn't an unexpected death.) My husband is from England and his whole family is over there. They're also super weird, unlikable, and general pains in the asses. Basically his father told him that they only wanted HIM to come for the funeral, that our surviving son and I could just stay at home because we weren't "real" family. Although I was paying for our travel arrangements and we were going to stay in a hotel so they didn't even have to see us if they didn't want to (I just wanted to be there for my husband), they put up such a fuss that we didn't go. So there was my husband, having just buried his youngest 2 weeks earlier, getting ready to get on a plane to leave me and his other child to fly across the ocean. Some of you all know me in "real" life and, if you do, you know what a freakishly close relationship my husband and I have with each other. Even my kids say, "Daddy wouldn't even know how to breathe without Mommy around" but it kind of goes both ways. I am sure we need therapy for it but, oh well, one thing at a time. Now I wasn't there so I don't know exactly what happened but my mother says that she went out to start the car to take him to the airport and that my husband kind of hesitated in the doorway. At that point our 3-year-old went up to him and said, "Daddy, do you promise you'll be back?" She says that my husband broke down into tears and she was like, "You want me to get your suitcase back out of the car for you?" And she did. He missed his mom's funeral because he could not stand to leave us; he could NOT be away from his kid or from me-not at that time. We've been paying for that with his family ever since. (Seriously. After a bunch of name calling and other shenanigans, including a bill for $10,000 that my father-in-law sent my husband for not being "the son he wanted", we had to cut them off completely. Haven't spoken in almost 8 years.) 

I totally understood why my husband didn't go and I fully supported him. If it had been switched, I would've done the same. In Cate's shoes, Nova would've broken my heart. No way could I have left after that scene in the car. No way. Hell, I sometimes have trouble telling my kids goodbye when they leave for school in the morning. I've lost a child and I have a bit of separation anxiety with my others. I'm a little surprised that Cate, who has unresolved issues or giving up Carly, doesn't have at least a little of the same. I think it just goes to show how emotionally unattached she can be to Nova. 

I'm so sorry you had to endure all of that, Mama.  What you've recounted is REAL trauma.  And multiple layers of it!  Where's your trip to a spa in AZ?

[alexa]

10 minutes ago, druzy said:

Thanks so much--this way I can see the one part I wanted  :-)  I was keeping up with the show by watching online, but after all of Cate and Kail's social media complaining about everything lately, I just can't support their show by watching anymore.  I realize Kail is on TM2 but it is all the same.  They don't realize they have been given a major handout and then continue to act like everyone should worship the ground they walk on.  If they aren't going to grow up and learn something from what they have experienced in life, then I give up on watching their repeatedly bad behaviors.  

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

13 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Catelynn already looks like her mother, April. The only difference is their weight. It is like they are twins: 

April looks better.

And I bet (the 2018 version of) April is more pleasant to be around than Cate.  And April no doubt contributes more to society these days than Cate does.

Edited April 11, 2018 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[hoosiermom]

Mamadrama: I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you have endured.

[GreatKazu]

10 minutes ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

April looks better.

And I bet (the 2018 version of) April is more pleasant to be around than Cate.  And April no doubt contributes more to society these days than Cate does.

Yes, April's personality and character has likely improved since her addiction days. She was the only one (aside from Drew) who didn't slam Farrah for doing porn. She looks healthier, too. 

Catelynn and April are twins in the sense that Cate's looks have her looking like she is in the same age group as her mother. April has gone through decades of living a hard life. Cate is barely in her mid-20s and has the rough look of April when she was at her worst. Except for the weight part. 

[Kaia40]

2 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Re: Nova's pitiful little "Mommy will pick me up" from daycare...

Our youngest son died unexpectedly in 2010. One week after HIS funeral, my mother-in-law died. (Cancer, and she'd been in Hospice, so even though she was only 50 it wasn't an unexpected death.) My husband is from England and his whole family is over there. They're also super weird, unlikable, and general pains in the asses. Basically his father told him that they only wanted HIM to come for the funeral, that our surviving son and I could just stay at home because we weren't "real" family. Although I was paying for our travel arrangements and we were going to stay in a hotel so they didn't even have to see us if they didn't want to (I just wanted to be there for my husband), they put up such a fuss that we didn't go. So there was my husband, having just buried his youngest 2 weeks earlier, getting ready to get on a plane to leave me and his other child to fly across the ocean. Some of you all know me in "real" life and, if you do, you know what a freakishly close relationship my husband and I have with each other. Even my kids say, "Daddy wouldn't even know how to breathe without Mommy around" but it kind of goes both ways. I am sure we need therapy for it but, oh well, one thing at a time. Now I wasn't there so I don't know exactly what happened but my mother says that she went out to start the car to take him to the airport and that my husband kind of hesitated in the doorway. At that point our 3-year-old went up to him and said, "Daddy, do you promise you'll be back?" She says that my husband broke down into tears and she was like, "You want me to get your suitcase back out of the car for you?" And she did. He missed his mom's funeral because he could not stand to leave us; he could NOT be away from his kid or from me-not at that time. We've been paying for that with his family ever since. (Seriously. After a bunch of name calling and other shenanigans, including a bill for $10,000 that my father-in-law sent my husband for not being "the son he wanted", we had to cut them off completely. Haven't spoken in almost 8 years.) 

I totally understood why my husband didn't go and I fully supported him. If it had been switched, I would've done the same. In Cate's shoes, Nova would've broken my heart. No way could I have left after that scene in the car. No way. Hell, I sometimes have trouble telling my kids goodbye when they leave for school in the morning. I've lost a child and I have a bit of separation anxiety with my others. I'm a little surprised that Cate, who has unresolved issues or giving up Carly, doesn't have at least a little of the same. I think it just goes to show how emotionally unattached she can be to Nova. 

I’m so sorry to hear all of that mamadrama! Especially the loss of your child! My heart goes out to you! ❤️ You’re very strong! Hooisermom is right, you dealt with all of that without 12 weeks in a spa rehab in Arizona! 

[RamonaSenomar]

I agree with everything everyone said about Cate and Tyler, and I have to add this takeaway ...

My heart split in two when (and I'm paraphrasing here, as I forgot her exact words) Nova excitedly held up the itty bitty turtle, and in her most courageous 3-year old voice told Cate "I'm not afraid!".  IIRC, she said it twice.

Damn it, Cate!!  Would it have killed you to acknowledge that your baby girl did something so brave?!  Because truly, that had nothing to do with the turtle and everything to do with wanting some hugs and loud announcement from Mommy about what a brave girl Nova is.

Fuck you, Cate. 

Edited April 11, 2018 by RamonaSenomar
grammar counts.

[kicksave]

1 hour ago, druzy said:

I would say I agree but Cate is very manipulative with Tyler. She pulls out the suicide or the "I don't blame you if you divorce me" that instantly lays a guilt trip on him. He's stuck kn a rut with this girl. They have been together too long in a relationship that isn't working...especially for Tyler. He may as well leave her since he does everything anyway. She can use her "me" time to get her rainbow hair done and ride her horse.

[ghoulina]

19 hours ago, Cherry Cola said:

True, but she does have a purpose.  Raising Nova, running business etc...but she is choosing not to do it.  She looked ridiculous at the new house, looking so sad.  Like really? I would be excited about the renovations.  Did anyone else see Tyler's face all broken out.  I wonder if that is stress related.  Is there stress acne? 

I felt bad for Tyler. He was clearly excited to show her and she couldn't muster up anything more than a monotone, "cool". 

He's definitely stressed, but I also think he started dieting while she was away. So hopefully getting healthier will help him physically and mentally. 

19 hours ago, TGinKY said:

Larry HAD to be straight up drunk when he was talking about Ryan and Mac helping other couples.  When Jenn started crying I am sure it was from extreme embarrassment.

I think Jen was mortified! She knows it's all BS. I think she likely spoiled Ryan more growing up, so her hands aren't clean. But now that it's gotten to this level, I think it's actually Larry who is most delusional. Jenn seems just beside herself, but doesn't want to speak up when her husband and Mack Truck are content to play enablers. 

[ghoulina]

16 hours ago, FairyDusted said:

Someone (sorry been reading all day) mentioned Ryan could be in withdrawal. Very well could be true. I've never wanted to die so badly as when my body required the drug but no longer helped the problem. When I saw he him though he could have been jonseing maybe. 

Yea, in my original post I thought maybe he was trying to sober up on his own. The cold flashes kind of gave it away. I'm guessing that once they got the baby news, Mack insisted he quit the smack. But she didn't want to publicly lose face, so no treatment center this time. Just cold turkey for you, buddy. Super dangerous! And, clearly, not effective. 

 

8 hours ago, Calm81 said:

By daughter is on the spectrum, too. Her speech therapist said for me to not try potty training her until she can speak. She just turned 3 (a couple months younger than Nova) and training her is like you said “hitting a brick wall” but I have some programs in the works that I’m hoping my get her more engaged with certain milestones. She’s obsessed with horses so I reached out to a facility that can do equine therapy.

I agree! Once she gets something she gets it fast so I’m hoping the potty training will happen like a fart in the wind. ?

I often wondered if Nova is on the spectrum, too. Not to pick her a part because I think she’s adorable and has the same love of horses as my little girl (I keep spotting the same toys and bed spread my daughter has in the episodes and it’s placed a soft spot for Nova - I wish her mom appreciated her ?). I just have noticed a few things but nothing serious, she needs parents that have note patience and time for her (you’d thing two parents without jobs had all of the time in the world) but as it stands, Tyler is pretty much a single dad.

How funny, my daughter is obsessed with horses too! I have also considered equine therapy. She's 6 and high functioning; her speech was pretty delayed when she was younger, but she speaks almost normally now. Her comprehension is just sometimes off. 

I can see Cate responding to the idea that NOVA do equine therapy - "That's MY thing! She's fine. She doesn't need therapy." 

[guilfoyleatpp]

On 4/10/2018 at 10:22 AM, usernameG said:

I will bet you money she bounces to LA well before that! 

yes...and if she's still on TV we will all get to observe and she demonizes, Kristina, Gary and finally Leah as she distances herself from them in order to justify it the move to herself. She will convince herself that they're all bad and she's good.

Or maybe James will move there with Discount Hagrid (tm @FlowerofCarnage) to escape Amber's emotional/physical abuse and she'll convince herself that she needs to go there to fix everything. And she'll eventually live in her car. Or someone's car.

20 hours ago, TGinKY said:

Larry HAD to be straight up drunk when he was talking about Ryan and Mac helping other couples.  When Jenn started crying I am sure it was from extreme embarrassment.

DINGDINGDING! That was a family of addiction if I ever saw one.

@eskimo, that's an extremely interesting theory. I can totally see her passive aggressively getting Tyler back for all of this. Not in a direct "this is all your fault" way, but in a "you have to deal with everything and I'm going to sit over here and it'll make me happy" kind of way.

[Jeanne222]

Cate is able to whine over Carley because she has no responsibility in raising her.  If her adoptive parents were to drop her off on Cate and Tyler's doorstep she would share the same fate as poor Nova!

[Kaia40]

2 hours ago, kicksave said:

I would say I agree but Cate is very manipulative with Tyler. She pulls out the suicide or the "I don't blame you if you divorce me" that instantly lays a guilt trip on him. He's stuck kn a rut with this girl. They have been together too long in a relationship that isn't working...especially for Tyler. He may as well leave her since he does everything anyway. She can use her "me" time to get her rainbow hair done and ride her horse.

You are so right Kicksave! I would like to slap her ugly manipulative face!  The ONLY reason that she said that about divorce is to put the guilt on Tyler!! Poor Tyler can’t even express his opinion to her because he has to walk on eggshells around her! What kind of marriage is that?  Another thing that tells me how manipulative she is that people who TRULY think about suicide don’t usually mention it or they just go through with it.  Most of the time when people like loser Cate say it, it’s purely for attention or to manipulate and she does it for both reasons.  Tyler has done more than enough and when Cate finishes her spa treatment, Ty will be out of there with sweet little Nova with him!  She’s always manipulated Tyler.  Remember years ago when they were teenagers and she lived with Tyler for a few weeks because she didn’t want to live with April and Butch?  Then Tyler and his Mom agreed that they needed space and they were too young to live together, which I agreed with.  Then he nicely explained this to her and she went on manipulating and crying, “no one wants me, no one loves me, something bad always happens when I’m so happy, I can never be happy, blah blah blah” trying to make Tyler feel guilty for wanting to be an actual teenager!! She’s so clinging too!  Ty is a young guy and has only ever been with Cate intimately.  Coupled with her drama, selfishness and being neglectful of sweet Nova, he is DONE!  Let’s face it looks aren’t everything BUT, if someone isn’t beautiful on the outside and ugly on the inside too, it’s hard to overlook! Cate is hard on the eyes and is a shitty wife and mother.  Ty knows he can do much better! He’s young and has needs too!  It’s like when the women on 600lb life haven’t had sex with their husband in 10 years, has the husband wipe their smelly ass everyday and wonder why the husband cheats.  I’m not saying cheating is ok by a long shot.  However, Cate has checked out of the marriage so no one would blame Ty!

[Kaia40]

54 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

Cate is able to whine over Carley because she has no responsibility in raising her.  If her adoptive parents were to drop her off on Cate and Tyler's doorstep she would share the same fate as poor Nova!

110% Jeanne222!!!!

[heatherchandler]

On 4/10/2018 at 3:37 PM, Jeanne222 said:

I wanted to ask.  How old is nova?  I notice she's still wearing a diaper.  I guess nobody has time for potty training.

She knew her mother was going to disappear again.  That's why she cried at school.  Sad.

btw do they offer any grooming classes at that fancy spa..I mean rehab??  Cate looks like she could do with a full make over.  That hair...what can I say.

I was actually thinking she would come back in better shape, but no.  She clearly has a carb addiction -I also suffer from that! - when I eat carbs I feel like crap.  I don't understand why they didn't help her with her diet.  It would be beneficial for her to see if eating carbs makes her feel sluggish.  I guess I am not *officially* a doctor, so I shouldn't speculate, but I am pretty sure she has an unhealthy relationship with food.  That would be something to tackle.