S02.E06: James B.'s Story

[jpc1]

1 minute ago, GussieK said:

Certainly when the addict is in the initial phases of sobriety it's fair to ask people to refrain.

For exactly this reason, BIG props to L.B. for getting Momma to move her (damn ass) self back to SC.  From my experience in watching a loved one recover from addiction to alcohol, one of the hardest decisions she made in her recovery was to physically (and emotionally) distance herself from her brother, with whom she was always very close, when he wouldn't abstain around her.  Not easy to do, and not easy to have to deal with the guilt-trips from other family after having done it.  That L.B. did it with Momma and flat-out thrived after she left showed me that he's made of pretty strong stuff - definitely not what I expected 15 minutes into the episode!

By the way, can you imagine if Princess had dragged Assanti's ass out to that track and made him go a couple of laps like L.B. did at the end?

[Delete]

 L.B. was a refreshing change, because he was self-aware. He knew he had a problem, and admitted it. No bs. A large part of success is to work on improving oneself, and that is exactly what he did despite all the obstacles he had with his Mother. I hope he continues to get therapy and work on his self-esteem. 

 

And Dolly has a message for L.B.'s Mother:

 

[MrHufflepuff]

2 hours ago, AuntiePam said:

What's the "general wisdom" on this?  If there's an alcoholic or an over-eater in the family, does that mean that there can be no booze in the house and no chips in the pantry?  Nobody can order a drink at a restaurant?  Is it "If I can't have it, then nobody can"?

I can see making accommodations for children -- it's hard for them to understand why everyone else can eat/drink something and they can't.  But an adult should be able to watch another adult take a drink or eat dessert without feeling like they're being undermined. 

On the other hand, how hard would it be for mom to drink her beer somewhere else?  What was dad drinking in that red solo cup?  I didn't hear LB ask him. 

I like LB and hope he continues to do well. 

I don't think there's a one-size rule for this.  Most addicts are prone to relapse when they've just started recovery.  Some addicts make it to a place where they won't relapse, some will always be prone to relapses.  And an individual might be pretty good in most situations, but have a few specific triggers.

I tend to think of this as trade-offs.  Let's say I have a friend who's new in recovery and I want him to come over and watch a movie.  My choices are:

1.  Put away my alcohol/not drink.

2.  Drink and keep my alcohol out, and risk my friend relapsing.

3.  Not invite my friend over.

In this case, I'm going to choose #1, because it's not a big deal for me to put away my alcohol and not drink for a few hours.  But, instead of watching a move, what if it was my birthday?  Well, I want to drink on my birthday.  So, I'll probably choose #3.  I'd explain to my friend my worries about relapse and suggest that we do a separate birthday thing at another time.  If my friend still wanted to come to the party, well, he's an adult and I tried.

But, let's say it was my birthday party and instead of a friend, it's my spouse who is new to recovery.  Well, then, I'm going to choose to not have any alcohol at the party, because I'd rather celebrate my birthday with my spouse and not risk a relapse.

I have a cousin who is recovering, and who triggers if he sees me drinking.  He's fine with being around alcohol in most other situations.  I understand why that is, because of our history, so I don't drink around him.  And, sometimes, I do think it's been long enough and he should be over it.  But, that's just not the choice that's available.  If I want to spend time with him and I don't want to trigger him into a potential relapse, then I can't drink around him.  That means no booze if we go to a restaurant and put away the booze if he comes over.

[LuvMyShows]

Well apparently I am in the minority, because although I was very proud of L.B.. losing lbs (haha), I thought that he was still "whiny and stuck in adolescence".  He very much seemed to want to pontificate and emote on his terms only.  And I have NEVER been more uncomfortable watching this show than when they were showing the over, and over, and over again rude, dismissive dysfunction that is L.B. and his mom's relationship...gawd that was toxic!  I am stunned that he never thought of therapy -- at his weight, and as the child of an alcoholic, and as a (former, if he's lucky) alcoholic himself, it would seem to be top-of-mind in "things I can do to make my situation better".  

I also disagree that just because they weren't on assistance, that they can afford the surgery.  I bet it costs a lot, even with insurance.  I don't get the sense that dad makes a king's ransom, and to feed a big boy like that enough to keep him fast must have cost a fortune.  

When they showed him running at the end, I said to myself, "There goes any excuse that any future participant/patient could possibly make about why they can't get their otherwise able body out of bed." 

[jcbrown]

1 hour ago, LuvMyShows said:

When they showed him running at the end, I said to myself, "There goes any excuse that any future participant/patient could possibly make about why they can't get their otherwise able body out of bed." 

THIS! Haven't we seen two special snowflakes just this season who refused to drag their lazy butts out of bed? They should have to meet him.

[Motor City]

Even with a prosthetic leg, LB seem to be light on his feet before and after surgery

[gingerormaryann]

Here is Dr. Now's office with a bigger than life photo of him. 

[AZChristian]

4 hours ago, GussieK said:

I think LB was driving an Escalade!  The logo was pixelated. 

Yep.  The florn industry must be pretty profitable.

[supahfly]

  At first I thought LB was a whiny brat but now I think he’s a freaking miracle to not have offed himself from her looney emotional swings, the sisters infantalizing him and his dad’s “ghost” presence.   Smothering martyrdom is always fun, right? ?

Random thoughts:

1.  I’m not clear what their presumed finances or choice of place to live has to do with anything.  He’s over 600 lbs. and that’s the important issue. 

2.  I loved his refreshing personal insight, his ability to be bigger than his anxiety and his honesty with Dr. Now

3.  Mom is definitely an alcoholic and a saboteur. Her vehemence about giving up the beer and then making a big deal in distinguishing between beer and harder alcohol was proof enough of the alcoholism. She sabotages because as he gets thinner, she has got no purpose to life—no one to helicopter around. Martyrs need a cause and he’s taking her cause away.  When she said he was more trouble than her girls but she loved him as much...???  I’m glad he booted her dumb ass back to SC.  

4.  I couldn’t help myself...when the therapist opened the door and said her name,  all I could think was “her name was Lola, she was a show girl...”. Sigh... I’m twisted like that.  She gave him great guidance.  Yay, Lola!

5.  His dedication to a new lifestyle is inspiring and helping his dad...awwww

Team LB! 

[sainte-chapelle]

He is RUNNING, good for him. The last few episodes people still couldn't walk.

[Hellohappylife]

Does Lola annoy anyone else? Her tone of voice just sounds so fake and babyish to me,not genuine at all. I spend the time thinking she’s drawing pictures on her little clipboard. I  don’t know how LB got threw that session,I was too distracted by her wig & sharpie eyebrows. 

I have seen drag queens with better wigs. 

[RedheadZombie]

I made the mistake of wondering into the live chat thread - something that will not be repeated.  I found LB incredibly likable.  His narration was so natural and moving it almost felt like I was watching a movie narrated by Morgan Freeman.  His sisters seemed to adore him, but I wonder if their manner is similar to their mother's and LB holds himself back because of it.  My mom is naturally thin, and to this day her two younger, obese sisters resent her for trying to motivate them to lose weight by offering incentives.

6 hours ago, GussieK said:

Certainly when the addict is in the initial phases of sobriety it's fair to ask people to refrain.

Recovering addicts are encouraged to avoid their old crowd to avoid being pulled back into that lifestyle.  To have LB's only human link in Galveston getting drunk every night was a huge trigger, and she didn't care.  At the very least, buy a mini-fridge and keep the beer there so LB doesn't need to see it every time he opens the fridge.  And keep your large supply of junk food in your bedroom, too.  LB may have inherited obesity from his biological parents, but it was helped by a mother who loves junk food and booze.  I think it would have done wonders if LB and his mom saw the counselor together, but something tells me she would have told him that he's the one with the problem, not her.

5 hours ago, skippy said:

As a previous poster said, they glossed over a lot on this one.

L.B. was eating for comfort when he was just a child.  His "Mom 2"  (isn't that creepy?) died when he was 9, but he used to go stay with her for days and, apparently, do nothing but eat.  His mother complained that when he came home he would cry until he got what he wanted (food).  Apparently she couldn't say "No".

It doesn't seem that he felt unwanted, since everyone was always telling him how much they wanted him.

I don't get any of this week's dysfunction.

I was adopted at birth and it's not uncommon to feel a sense of abandonment.  I think there was definitely missing within LB's home that led to him seeking out Maw 2, and spending a great deal of time in her home (wouldn't be surprised if his mom was an alcoholic even then).  When you lack self-worth you can't see that you have any value to anyone.  I'm not a giant like LB, but I was adopted into a large extended family of short people and always felt very self-conscious.  I was much taller than any female relative, and even taller than all but two males.  Unlike LB I was an only child, so I didn't have to deal with feeling like the biological children were more cherished than me.  I do think that LB had never considered that he was a child of choice because he seemed to react to the counselor saying that.  Adopted children need to always be told that we chose you and you are special.  Otherwise you're just an abandoned child that someone took pity on.

[anonymousgirl]

 

Yay, he is at the gym. At least he is keeping up the work, his face look a lot thiner

Edited February 16, 2018 by anonymousgirl

[dreadfulLeigh]

Well, my damn ass, I was really hoping the extended version would tell us more about how the whole Maw 2 and Pa 2 situation came about. Only made it halfway through it. But I’m not sure I had any greater insight to much at all. Damn ass extended version. 

[xls]

he looks good he really does 

[Suzywriter]

I was all ready to hate this guy, but he seems to be one of the more admirable, likable subjects.  When walking hurt too much, he figured out alternative exercise like running in a pool, and later buying a second hand bicycle to ride **with one leg**. 

He was the one person who would have gotten a pass for yelling "Ow, mah  laig!", but he never did. 

Mama would have driven me to drink, for sure.

[Suzywriter]

On 2/14/2018 at 11:27 PM, auntjess said:

I wondered why they chose Galveston, which is 50 miles away.  (I looked it up.)
 

Cheaper and prettier, maybe? After all, patients only have to see Dr. Now every month or so...may as well live comfortably.

19 hours ago, Kellyee said:

When they first showed him, he didn't look fat enough to be on this show. Fat enough for gastric bypass certainly, but not the usual body horror that TLC recruits for this. Maybe they liked the amputation angle. They have been showing the same thing week after week, so maybe they were trying to switch it up.

Mama Karen was what I've heard called 'nice-nasty'. She couldn't do anything for anyone without telling them that they were totally incompetent and she had to save them from themselves. 

[Tabbygirl521]

I am really happy for LB! That was some major determination and focus. He not only for his eating under control but kicked booze too. Awesome! And I am proud that he set a boundary with his mom. She was a trip. 

I wonder if his sisters have any issues from being so disappointing that Dad had to go out and fetch him a boh.  In the pic we saw of Mom holding LB as an infant, surrounded by delighted little girls, Mom looked very very dead-eyed and unhappy. Maybe she was just sleep-deprived but I wonder who really wanted to adopt?  I sure hope it was Both of them. 

[Suzysite]

Someone said LB is working as a bouncer at a bar?   I'm not sure a bar - even standing outside - is the healthiest environment for a recovering addict. 

[Sashamarie]

2 hours ago, Suzysite said:

Someone said LB is working as a bouncer at a bar?   I'm not sure a bar - even standing outside - is the healthiest environment for a recovering addict. 

I live in Galveston so I followed LB on a Galveston FB page for a while. Then followed him on his TLC page. He worked as a bouncer when he lived in Galveston and was very much liked by all who met him. He has moved back to his hometown. Haven't heard what he may be doing there, other than helping his dad in his business.

[Normades]

18 hours ago, AuntiePam said:

What's the "general wisdom" on this?  If there's an alcoholic or an over-eater in the family, does that mean that there can be no booze in the house and no chips in the pantry?  Nobody can order a drink at a restaurant?  Is it "If I can't have it, then nobody can"?

I can see making accommodations for children -- it's hard for them to understand why everyone else can eat/drink something and they can't.  But an adult should be able to watch another adult take a drink or eat dessert without feeling like they're being undermined. 

On the other hand, how hard would it be for mom to drink her beer somewhere else?  What was dad drinking in that red solo cup?  I didn't hear LB ask him. 

I like LB and hope he continues to do well. 

In my experience as the mother of an adult child in recovery, when I am around them I do not drink and I try to be respectful of their desire to stay clean.  When they stay at my house, there is no alcohol in sight.  I may put it in my room or somewhere they would not see it.  When I am out of town sometimes they house sit for me.  I make damn sure there is nothing in that house that would cause an issue for them.  I think it's very important for the family and support system to be sensitive to these things, especially in the very beginning.  As time goes by, maybe I will relax a bit, I don't know.  I do know that I would NEVER want to do something that could cause my child pain and possibly set off a relapse.  Overeating was not an issue, but there were food issues, which I also try to be very sensitive about.  I realize my child will see food, alcohol, and other substances in everyday life, but I see no reason to put it under their nose and tempt fate.  For me, it's a respect thing for the hard work that's been done to get to where they are today.  LB's family needs to decide if drinking and eating junk food in his presence are that important to them.  To me, it is not by a long shot!

Honestly, it's not that hard and I would actually do ANYTHING for my child, not just say those words.

[calpurnia99]

13 hours ago, supahfly said:

 

4.  I couldn’t help myself...when the therapist opened the door and said her name,  all I could think was “her name was Lola, she was a show girl...”. Sigh... I’m twisted like that.  She gave him great guidance.  Yay, Lola!

 

All I can think is 

Oh my Lola, lo lo lo Lola, lo lo lo Lola
Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand
Why she walks like a woman and talks like a man
Oh my Lola, lo lo lo lo Lola, lo lo lo lo Lola

[Mothra]

On 2/14/2018 at 10:37 PM, AllisonWonderland said:

 So, Dr. Lola was deeeeeefinitely flirting with ol' LB, right? 

I've seen her act this way before with clients, including women, and I think it's just her way.  But it makes me uncomfortable, and if I hadn't seen it before, I'd have thought she was coming on to him, too.  I wonder if he thought she was--and maybe it's intentional, to get clients to return for followup visits.  I think someone should speak to her about her tone and manner; it seems inappropriate to me.

On 2/14/2018 at 11:27 PM, auntjess said:

I wondered why they chose Galveston, which is 50 miles away.  (I looked it up.)
 

Me, too.  It was a really nice house, though, and he had his truck, so maybe the distance just didn't matter that much.  The apartments most of Dr. Now's patients stay in in Houston are pretty grim.

Edited to add:  on the question of whether to drink in front of a loved one who is in recovery.  I am always a little shocked that anyone would put their "right" to drink ahead of a loved one's sobriety.  When my alcoholic relatives or friends visit, I do not offer alcohol to anyone, even though those in recovery have said to me that it wouldn't bother them.  Going without alcohol for an evening seems a small sacrifice to help preserve someone's health, maybe even their life.  In fact, if it's that hard for a person to forgo alcohol--even on your birthday!--I'd say maybe that person needs to examine their own relationship to alcohol.  I have a close relative whose wife is a dreadful alcoholic--she drinks herself to unconsciousness and then pees all over herself--and he refuses to get the alcohol out of their house because *he* likes to have a drink every night.  I'm sorry to be so judgmental, but cheesy peezy.

Edited February 16, 2018 by Mothra

[Muffyn]

LB ultimately seems like a decent guy who has had some major difficulties to deal with and has also made some bad choices.  Maw 1 is a piece of work.  When she was clearly drunk and talking about how she was drinking “watered-down beer”, it occurred to me she was having beer on ice because she wasn’t willing or able to wait for it to cool down.  So yeah, I’m going to suggest that Maw 1 is a damn ass alcoholic.  It seemed like the show in telling LB’s story was working around coming out and saying Maw 1 is alcoholic or explicitly saying that living with her was one of his major issues.  To some large extent that is continuing to protect an alcoholic. 

It was interesting that they showed him talking about his Bio dad being in prison for drug-related offenses.  Seemed like LB and family were trying to promote the idea of nature leading to his own addiction issues without also calling out living with an alcoholic and modeling behavior with which he was raised. 

I am careful about linking his willingness to walk with others who have not.  He is younger and started from a higher level of fitness.  While we have had our special princesses (Penny aka Cleopatra), many of the others had injuries that caused major inactivity from which they didn’t recover.  Also, being 600 lbs at 5’4” with a slight build is very different than being 600 lbs at 6’4” for a guy who also has a stocky build.    With less muscle mass, lymphedemas and depending on the way the weight is carried, it can be much harder to walk or feel confident you can walk.  It’s a long road back if you feel your legs can’t support your weight or if you cannot align your knees and feet correctly under your mass.  LB could align his body correctly since he didn’t have masses on his legs. 

It was good to see him walking on the track and riding a bike.  He is always going to be a large person.  It looks like he is making the changes needed to have a full, active life. 

Finally, I had a roommate who was in recovery.  I kept any alcohol in my bedroom closet so it was not in his face.  It felt like the right thing to do.  He went out and about, often in places with alcohol.  He would go to parties, out to dinner, etc. with people who drank.  Didn’t have a problem with that.  But having alcohol easily accessible at home when you’ve had a bad day is a different temptation.     

@Normades What a wonderfully supportive mom you are.  :-) 

[KateHearts]

Right off the bat I was puzzled at the descriptions of how Mama "did everything for L.B."  The guy was surprisingly nimble, kept his garage apartment neat, could easily swing himself up into a truck cab and ambulate around the grocery store collecting his snack cakes and sodas. I think his primary problem was that he was depressed living with her and her nagging, bitching attitude and the constant narrative that he was a disappointment to his family. And although Mama clearly wanted to maintain her role as the martyr of the family and insisted on putting a huge damper on his going-away party by continuing to hammer on her sacrifices and worries about Daddy, there was really no warm interaction between her and Daddy- or *any* other family member that I could see. 

Mama continued to play her role in Galveston, drinking and eating junk ("I've been through a lot lately,") and even when L.B. opened conversations with her, she somehow made it negative ("this is the first time you've ever opened up to me,"- stated in an accusatory tone). Her expressions were devoid of any emotion other than bitchy and pissed off. 

I was really impressed with his ability to get around despite the extra weight and the prosthesis.  He really didn't mope or whine about his physical condition; he didn't grunt, groan and cry over every move he made; he never said "I can't." I think his success was due in huge part to his realizing he needed to cut the apron strings and let Momma drink her watered-down beer back home without inflicting her misery on him any longer.  Good for you, L.B.!

[Normades]

26 minutes ago, Mothra said:

I've seen her act this way before with clients, including women, and I think it's just her way.  But it makes me uncomfortable, and if I hadn't seen it before, I'd have thought she was coming on to him, too.  I wonder if he thought she was--and maybe it's intentional, to get clients to return for followup visits.  I think someone should speak to her about her tone and manner; it seems inappropriate to me.

Me, too.  It was a really nice house, though, and he had his truck, so maybe the distance just didn't matter that much.  The apartments most of Dr. Now's patients stay in in Houston are pretty grim.

Edited to add:  on the question of whether to drink in front of a loved one who is in recovery.  I am always a little shocked that anyone would put their "right" to drink ahead of a loved one's sobriety.  When my alcoholic relatives or friends visit, I do not offer alcohol to anyone, even though those in recovery have said to me that it wouldn't bother them.  Going without alcohol for an evening seems a small sacrifice to help preserve someone's health, maybe even their life.  In fact, if it's that hard for a person to forgo alcohol--even on your birthday!--I'd say maybe that person needs to examine their own relationship to alcohol.  I have a close relative whose wife is a dreadful alcoholic--she drinks herself to unconsciousness and then pees all over herself--and he refuses to get the alcohol out of their house because *he* likes to have a drink every night.  I'm sorry to be so judgmental, but cheesy peezy.

You are so right!! I applaud you for being sensitive to the needs of others.  As you said, the right to drink shouldn't override your concerns for a loved one.  I find the same people who worry so much about their right to substances are the same ones who complained the loudest when the person was under the influence. Yet, they can't take a few simple steps to try and support the addict.  You are also right about there being a difference between seeing alcohol in a store and actively seeking it out or having it in the fridge late a night after a bad day.  That's a big temptation.  My child stayed with a relative who couldn't keep the beer out of the fridge early on in their recovery.  Imagine this person who has gone through so much to get clean and has food issues (needing to eat), opening the fridge to eat and seeing the beer.  It was torture.  Even after trying to discuss it with this person, it remained an issue.  Thankfully, my child changed their living situation and has remained clean for over a year!  I am so proud and grateful.  

Thank you @Muffyn for your kind words.  And kudos to you @Mothra for being supportive.

[kicotan]

I've only a few comments.

#1) Calorie count from his Burger King binge after the appointment regarding his prosthetic:

Bacon King sandwich-1150

small fries-320

10 piece chicken nuggets-430

Large sweet tea-240

chicken fries-280

Grand Total -2,420 calories

#2) Adopting a child because you already have 3 girls but no boy so you NEED to in order to "carry on the family name" and have someone to inherit the family business is SO many ways of fucked up.  Not just for the adopted child, but the message to the sisters:  "Sorry, daughters, you were born female so you can't choose to keep the family name and give it to your children, either.  Plus, you were born female so you can't learn the Florn business and inherit it, either."

i don't wonder why he has so many emotional burdens, poor guy.

[Normades]

39 minutes ago, kicotan said:

I've only a few comments.

#1) Calorie count from his Burger King binge after the appointment regarding his prosthetic:

Bacon King sandwich-1150

small fries-320

10 piece chicken nuggets-430

Large sweet tea-240

chicken fries-280

Grand Total -2,420 calories

#2) Adopting a child because you already have 3 girls but no boy so you NEED to in order to "carry on the family name" and have someone to inherit the family business is SO many ways of fucked up.  Not just for the adopted child, but the message to the sisters:  "Sorry, daughters, you were born female so you can't choose to keep the family name and give it to your children, either.  Plus, you were born female so you can't learn the Florn business and inherit it, either."

i don't wonder why he has so many emotional burdens, poor guy.

Yes I agree on the message to the "inferior" daughters. I was the third and last child of a father like that. It causes lifelong damage. People should be grateful to have healthy children. I hope that wasn't the only reason for the adoption, but honestly it shouldn't be a factor, in my opinion.

[kicotan]

22 hours ago, Normades said:

Yes I agree on the message to the "inferior" daughters. I was the third and last child of a father like that. It causes lifelong damage. People should be grateful to have healthy children. I hope that wasn't the only reason for the adoption, but honestly it shouldn't be a factor, in my opinion.

I noticed it for two reasons.

1)They (both parents) admitted up front in the first 5 minutes of the show that the reason they adopted him was because they wanted a boy to carry on the family name and inherit the family business.  Full stop.  I'm also assuming that he learned this information at an early age, which is why every time he talks about his motivation it is "to make my family proud", in other words, earn his adoption.  That's so messed up.

2) I have an adopted sister. 4 years older than me. My parents strongly disagreed with anyone who asked if she was adopted, even my brother and myself...and she was as different looking as L.B. is to the rest of his family, so that question came up a LOT.  They didn't want her to feel anything but loved as a child.

Shame on his parents.

Edited February 17, 2018 by kicotan
Personal

[Mothra]

14 hours ago, dreadfulLeigh said:

Well, my damn ass, I was really hoping the extended version would tell us more about how the whole Maw 2 and Pa 2 situation came about. Only made it halfway through it. But I’m not sure I had any greater insight to much at all. Damn ass extended version. 

Wasn't that weird?  I rewound to see if I'd missed something, some reason Maw 1 and Paw 1 were periodically unable to care for him, but the best I could get was he was the only boy in the family, and everybody wanted a piece of him?  Which makes no sense.  But it seems to me that that sort of divided discipline/trust/love/routine/you name it might lead to some emotional trouble later in life.  Lola told him he was adopted, so he was "chosen"--but it kind of seemed like the person who chose him was having second thoughts by sharing him with Maw 2.  And Maw 2's indulging his eating--when it was clear from an early age that he was very overweight--might have been a little passive aggression towards her sister/sister-in-law Maw 1.  It was clearly not what was best for the child.

And it really bothered me that when he tried to tell his mother that his depression was rooted in his feeling that he always disappointed her and his father, she didn't listen.  She just kept telling him she loved him as if she'd given birth to him--which not only minimizes something important he was trying to tell her, but also suggests something else to worry about that might not otherwise have occurred to him--why is she telling me that?  Why would anyone question that she loves her adopted child as much as her biological ones?  Is that a thing?  Is she saying this over and over to convince herself it's true?

[KateHearts]

I got the vibe that adopted Mom was resentful of his relationship with Mom2, based on how he obviously adored her (M2) and was devastated by her death.  Then again, adopted Mom didn't seem to need much of an excuse to be resentful of L.B. in general.  You don't say, during a very sensitive conversation, "after ALL YOU PUT US THROUGH, I STILL LOVE YOU like I gave birth to you."  I don't really even think he PUT THEM THROUGH so much anyway. Heck, the worst I recall is that he dropped out of high school and partied too much.  It's not like he became a mass-murderer or burned their house to the ground.

[Normades]

3 hours ago, KateHearts said:

I got the vibe that adopted Mom was resentful of his relationship with Mom2, based on how he obviously adored her (M2) and was devastated by her death.  Then again, adopted Mom didn't seem to need much of an excuse to be resentful of L.B. in general.  You don't say, during a very sensitive conversation, "after ALL YOU PUT US THROUGH, I STILL LOVE YOU like I gave birth to you."  I don't really even think he PUT THEM THROUGH so much anyway. Heck, the worst I recall is that he dropped out of high school and partied too much.  It's not like he became a mass-murderer or burned their house to the ground.

Yes and his drinking didn't seem completely out of control. His food issues were far worse from what I saw. I could tell her some stories about going through some real living hell if she'd like. I bet it would curl her damn ass hair!

[alegtostandon]

On 2/14/2018 at 10:25 PM, Tenarife60 said:

I was thinking that too.  They seemed to be much better off than most of the patients featured.  I also couldn't follow L.B.'s story when he dropped out of high school and then became a full-time overeater, boozer and partier.  They made it seem like he never got a job after quitting school, but I assume he did and I just missed it if it was said.  

I seem to remember a blurb popping up saying he worked as an estimator in the family "Florn" business before it got to painful to stand for long periods.

When I first heard the name Lola, I thought of the song from The Kinks... "Lola, L*O*L*A, lo lo lo lo Lola..."  

[Scarlett45]

15 hours ago, KateHearts said:

I got the vibe that adopted Mom was resentful of his relationship with Mom2, based on how he obviously adored her (M2) and was devastated by her death.  Then again, adopted Mom didn't seem to need much of an excuse to be resentful of L.B. in general.  You don't say, during a very sensitive conversation, "after ALL YOU PUT US THROUGH, I STILL LOVE YOU like I gave birth to you."  I don't really even think he PUT THEM THROUGH so much anyway. Heck, the worst I recall is that he dropped out of high school and partied too much.  It's not like he became a mass-murderer or burned their house to the ground.

Maw 1 was a piece of work but I dont think that’s exactly what she was speaking about (I truly agree she was a alcoholic though). 

 

From the pictures we were shown LB was FAR younger than his sisters (they looked to all be older teens when he was an infant) and likely his parents were older and his mom in perimenopause when he was adopted. More likely than not LB was the “difficult” child (not anything criminal but more defianant and less easy going), and older parents have less patience for these things, especially if they have already raised 3 children with different temperaments. I’m sure Maw 1 did love LB (and Dad did as well), but they probably always let him know (not even directly) that he was there to fill a role, not adopted for HIMSELF (or because they just wanted another child). That type of pressure is a lot on a kid. Some kids thrive in it and become over achievers, others rebel like LB. 

Edited February 17, 2018 by Scarlett45

[Tabbygirl521]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

From the pictures we were shown LB was FAR younger than his sisters (they looked to all be older teens when he was an infant) and likely his parents were older and his mom in perimenopause when he was adopted [snip]

That type of pressure is a lot on a kid. Some kids thrive in it and become over achievers, others rebel like LB. 

His rebellion wasn’t too severe, I think, and I would argue that at heart he is an achiever. (I just hope it is for himself and not just to win love from his parents. )

He showed a hell of a lot of determination once he got his act together. Hell, he even got a job while in Texas! And he pushed himself physically as soon as he got the new prosthesis.

I started out thinking he was kind of a dick but then the more they showed of Maw I, I kinda got it. And then when he saw a light at the end of the tunnel he did start addressing things in an adult way.

I ended up admiring him for figuring out how to deal effectively with Maw’s passive-aggressive stuff, and putting so much energy into achieving his goals. I look forward to a great update on LB. 

[JocelynCavanaugh]

I’ve often wondered why more of Dr. Now’s patients don’t move to Galveston! If I had to be closer to Houston for occasional medical appointments, I’d definitely consider it. Galveston (or “Gavelston” according to LB) is one of the oldest settlements in Texas, and it’s a pretty little island with historic homes and a decent amount of shopping and dining. It’s not the most beautiful beach in America (or even Texas), but it’s a beach! Houston is a great city but it’s huge and busy and probably overwhelming for some of the patients who come from rural areas. 

I can’t remember ever seeing a participant on this show not only run, but want to run! That felt like a landmark event for the entire series. Ten points for LB! But I’m deducting five for making me want chicken fries. 

[Caoimhe]

14 minutes ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

I can’t remember ever seeing a participant on this show not only run, but want to run! That felt like a landmark event for the entire series. Ten points for LB! But I’m deducting five for making me want chicken fries. 

Too many of them have no intention of ever walking, never mind running!  After watching again from the start I am impressed with LB and his determination.  He is the high point of the season!!

[missnoa]

On 2/15/2018 at 11:08 PM, Suzywriter said:

I was all ready to hate this guy, but he seems to be one of the more admirable, likable subjects.  When walking hurt too much, he figured out alternative exercise like running in a pool, and later buying a second hand bicycle to ride **with one leg**. 

He was the one person who would have gotten a pass for yelling "Ow, mah  laig!", but he never did. 

Mama would have driven me to drink, for sure.

Honestly, this is why I ended up liking him, I think. This is one of the rare ones who genuinely tries, and he had the best "excuses" out of anyone to not try - he literally doesn't have a leg and his prosthetic was breaking. And instead of crying about it and using it as an excuse, he just found different ways to do things. And he was actually serious about addressing his emotional issues, including tackling the co-dependence with mom. I hope he continues with therapy so he can find some self love and he continues losing weight. And I hope being away from mom helps him keep a clear idea of where their boundaries should be and whether or not it's good for him to be around her long term. Some people just aren't healthy for you to be around even if they are family cause too much has happened between them.

[ChristmasJones]

I found myself wondering about how many of LB's biological relatives also had weight issues (and how tall they were).

[Mothra]

On 2/16/2018 at 11:45 AM, KateHearts said:

I was really impressed with his ability to get around despite the extra weight and the prosthesis. 

He didn't use a cane or other assistive device even though he weighed over 600lbs.  I worked in a rehab hospital, and I am no longer amazed by how mobile lower-limb amputees can be, if they're willing and able to do the work. l knew a 90-year-old woman, a double amputee, who refused to move from her walk-up apartment, despite the best efforts of social services to put her in a ground-floor unit.  And then there are the countless young people I saw who played sports with their friends, especially one young man who was an outstanding basketball player--and these guys were not playing against other people with disabilities; they went back home and continued with their lives as they had been before their amputations.  None of them, however, had the added disability of carrying around an extra 400lbs.

[magemaud]

On 2/17/2018 at 3:11 PM, ThereButFor said:

Too many of them have no intention of ever walking, never mind running!  

Some of them don't have any intention of even STANDING! 

Why would L.B.'s dropping out of High School be disappointing to anyone? If someone was told from childhood that he was destined to become the next Florn King and inherit the family business (whether he wanted to or not) why would he need more than the basic skills related to the job? It appears he can live a very comfortable life financially without any more "edumacation." 

Edited to add: It always bothers me when parents decide a child's future for them. Imagine when L.B. was asked "what do you want to be when you grow up?" and instead of most little boys who answer things like "a fireman, or a doctor, or a policeman" he had to say "Ahm goin' to be in the florn business lak mah Daddy." My daughter works with a woman who has two sons, both of whom have been groomed from birth to be Catholic PRIESTS regardless of whether or not they have "the calling." 

Edited February 19, 2018 by magemaud

[cynicat]

On 2/16/2018 at 2:34 PM, Normades said:

Yes I agree on the message to the "inferior" daughters. I was the third and last child of a father like that. It causes lifelong damage. People should be grateful to have healthy children. I hope that wasn't the only reason for the adoption, but honestly it shouldn't be a factor, in my opinion.

I was very shocked at this and had to wonder how that impacted his sisters.  As far as we saw in the show, they seem to love their family and adore their brother but wow, that's pretty crushing.

I really liked LB from the get-go and rooted for him throughout.  He reached a decision point in his life and really stuck to it, with only a few minor slips.  Those are certainly excusable when he showed such strong forward progress and determination.

With regards to living in Galveston, I can't blame them for wanting to live on the Gulf.  

[raiderred1]

Quote

I wonder if his sisters have any issues from being so disappointing that Dad had to go out and fetch him a boh.  In the pic we saw of Mom holding LB as an infant, surrounded by delighted little girls, Mom looked very very dead-eyed and unhappy. Maybe she was just sleep-deprived but I wonder who really wanted to adopt?  I sure hope it was Both of them. 

Ugh, I know how it feels t be a second daughter to a dad that wanted a boy.  My parents had some infertility issue trying to conceive their first child, my sister, and then I came along fairly quickly but my dad just needed that boy so 4 years later my brother was born.  My dad and my brother don't really get along that well and my husband took over the family business but I think deep down my dad would rather have had my brother take it over instead. My brother tried to work at the family business but just didn't care for it so he left and is now running his own company in a completely different field and is very happy.  There was no adoption in our family but when parents make it known that you were born for a purpose it puts a lot of pressure on the poor child(ren).  Coincidentally my sister had two daughters and she pushed the youngest to play basketball and basically chose her college for her. I don't think my niece is all that happy with devoting her life to basketball but she is just too "soldier-like" to refuse my sister's wishes.  I am a rebel so it makes me cringe when I see her not have a mind of her own.  She is definitely my sister's mini-me.  My sister was the one in the family that followed my dad's lead and still does to this day.  As for my older niece, she gets ignored by both her mom and my parents(her grandparents) because she didn't do what they wanted her to do. Family dynamics can be quite screwed up.

L.B. needs to stay away from that toxic family and only visit on occasion.

One more thing, what the hell is up with ice in beer? I had never heard of that and it sounds disgusting!

[Tabbygirl521]

2 hours ago, raiderred1 said:

Ugh, I know how it feels t be a second daughter to a dad that wanted a boy.  My parents had some infertility issue trying to conceive their first child, my sister, and then I came along fairly quickly but my dad just needed that boy so 4 years later my brother was born.  My dad and my brother don't really get along that well and my husband took over the family business but I think deep down my dad would rather have had my brother take it over instead. My brother tried to work at the family business but just didn't care for it so he left and is now running his own company in a completely different field and is very happy.  There was no adoption in our family but when parents make it known that you were born for a purpose it puts a lot of pressure on the poor child(ren).  Coincidentally my sister had two daughters and she pushed the youngest to play basketball and basically chose her college for her. I don't think my niece is all that happy with devoting her life to basketball but she is just too "soldier-like" to refuse my sister's wishes.  I am a rebel so it makes me cringe when I see her not have a mind of her own.  She is definitely my sister's mini-me.  My sister was the one in the family that followed my dad's lead and still does to this day.  As for my older niece, she gets ignored by both her mom and my parents(her grandparents) because she didn't do what they wanted her to do. Family dynamics can be quite screwed up.

L.B. needs to stay away from that toxic family and only visit on occasion.

One more thing, what the hell is up with ice in beer? I had never heard of that and it sounds disgusting!

{{{I’m glad you’re a rebel!}}

[missnoa]

9 hours ago, raiderred1 said:

Ugh, I know how it feels t be a second daughter to a dad that wanted a boy.  My parents had some infertility issue trying to conceive their first child, my sister, and then I came along fairly quickly but my dad just needed that boy so 4 years later my brother was born.  My dad and my brother don't really get along that well and my husband took over the family business but I think deep down my dad would rather have had my brother take it over instead. My brother tried to work at the family business but just didn't care for it so he left and is now running his own company in a completely different field and is very happy.  There was no adoption in our family but when parents make it known that you were born for a purpose it puts a lot of pressure on the poor child(ren).  Coincidentally my sister had two daughters and she pushed the youngest to play basketball and basically chose her college for her. I don't think my niece is all that happy with devoting her life to basketball but she is just too "soldier-like" to refuse my sister's wishes.  I am a rebel so it makes me cringe when I see her not have a mind of her own.  She is definitely my sister's mini-me.  My sister was the one in the family that followed my dad's lead and still does to this day.  As for my older niece, she gets ignored by both her mom and my parents(her grandparents) because she didn't do what they wanted her to do. Family dynamics can be quite screwed up.

L.B. needs to stay away from that toxic family and only visit on occasion.

One more thing, what the hell is up with ice in beer? I had never heard of that and it sounds disgusting!

Every time I see a family of three or four kids and it's all one gender and then the last one is a different gender, I always wonder if that last gender was the one they wanted when they made that second, third, fourth try lol. It was the same with my parents - he wanted one of each. I came, then my sister came and they were convinced she was a boy, and when my mom got pregnant again my father refused to even go to any the appointments or talk about it until my mom confirmed it was a boy. And funnily enough, my brother and him had a terrible relationship and he was closest to my younger sister. Some men are super weird about having boys and then when they have them, they don't have good relationships with them at all. It's crazy.

[AntAnn]

I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Don’t the men know that their sperm determines the gender? Besides, girl or boy, just be grateful for a healthy baby. 

Edited February 19, 2018 by AntAnn
Men are dumb

[Pretty5Vacant]

22 hours ago, raiderred1 said:

One more thing, what the hell is up with ice in beer? I had never heard of that and it sounds disgusting

When I do have  beer I like it on the rocks 

[raiderred1]

20 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

{{{I’m glad you’re a rebel!}}

Me,too, Tabbygirl! :)

13 hours ago, missnoa said:

Every time I see a family of three or four kids and it's all one gender and then the last one is a different gender, I always wonder if that last gender was the one they wanted when they made that second, third, fourth try lol. It was the same with my parents - he wanted one of each. I came, then my sister came and they were convinced she was a boy, and when my mom got pregnant again my father refused to even go to any the appointments or talk about it until my mom confirmed it was a boy. And funnily enough, my brother and him had a terrible relationship and he was closest to my younger sister. Some men are super weird about having boys and then when they have them, they don't have good relationships with them at all. It's crazy.

Missnoa, I feel the exact same way when I see those type of families. I guess we can empathize with those others that weren't the right gender.

[raiderred1]

35 minutes ago, Pretty5Vacant said:

When I do have  beer I like it on the rocks 

That is so interesting.  I am not crazy about ice in my soft drinks so maybe that is why I think it would water down the beer but hey, don't knock it til you try it, huh? Whenever I drink a soda, not too often, I will drop it in the freezer for 10-15 min and let it get icy cold. Yum!

[NeitherSparky]

My mom always told me how they wanted one boy and one girl, and in that order so the girl could date the boy's friends (weird that she felt it was okay for the boy to be older in a relationship when she was older than my dad) - and that's exactly what they got. She attributed it to following "directions" in a magazine, I presume a combination of sexual positions, timing, and maybe diet or something. No I never asked for details lol. And she also did that thing about wanting us to be certain things when we grew up, she said she chose our names based on it. My brother she wanted to be something like a doctor. And over and over all my childhood I had to listen about how I would be an actress bcause she could envision my name on a marquee. Marquee, marquee, my name on a marquee. To this day the word "marquee" makes me cringe, she said it so often, with that sweeping hand motion indicating reading a big sign. :P

Neither my brother or I went into what she wanted. My brother did try to be a doctor, but couldn't get into medical school. And while my mom was talking about marquees my dad was drilling it into me that I was too fat and ugly to be an actress, so frankly I never even considered it. I agree that some family dynamics suck.